Monarchy of Carrots

by Lucky Seven

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Carrot Top, Random, Dark, Alternate Universe, Roseluck
Length: 1029

Lord Harvest faces a pressing issue during her tyrannical reign.

In an alternate universe, Golden Harvest, or Carrot Top, is Lady Harvest, the Queen of Equestria. Having forced her subjects to eat nothing but carrots for their entire lives, she is facing a crisis. Ponies are revolting, and only with the help of her faithful student, Roseluck, can she expect to get through this in one piece.

If you take this seriously, you have nobody to blame but yourself for whatever happens.

Obviously, the title is a play on words of the Red Hot Chili Peppers song, "Monarchy of Roses".

Published 2013-05-02 17:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-17 16:22:07 UTC

One-Shot

Monarchy of Carrots

Written & Edited by Seven81493

Preread by Miss Dark Angel

The large double doors leading to the throne room swung open, and the queen looked down towards her student, who promptly addressed her.

“Lady Harvest, it’s an emergency!”

“What is it, Roseluck?”

“Ponies are protesting outside the castle, m’lady,” explained Roseluck quickly. “They claim that eating nothing but carrots is unhealthy!”

“Blasphemy!” the enraged ruler yelled. “Carrots are very good for you! To take carrots out of your diet would be suicide!”

“But they don’t believe this, m’lady! They believe that you are a tyrant, and that your laws are completely unfair!”

Lady Harvest stamped her hoof to the floor in rage. ‘Those fools! Do they not realize everything I have done for them?! This time, I will not be lenient!’

“Let the protestors in.”

“But, m’lady, shouldn’t we-?”

“Now!” yelled the irate ruler, cutting off her faithful student, who immediately stammered out an apology and galloped off to let everypony inside.

While her student was off leading everypony to the throne room, Golden Harvest began to weigh her options. There were two ways to solve the problem. Either let everypony speak their minds and calmly refute their complaints. Or...

Execution.

Finally, the doors opened back up. Instantly, a mass of disgruntled ponies stormed the throne room. On any other day, Golden Harvest would have listened to their complaints. But today, she was feeling especially impatient. So instead of giving her subjects a chance to voice their concerns, she stamped her hoof on the floor and summoned her loudest possible voice.

“QUIET! NOW!”

Immediately, everypony obeyed their all-powerful monarch and the throne room was dead silent.

“I don’t know who you ponies think you are,” she began, making her voice calm once again, “but you will ask your questions in a civilized manner.”

Surveying the crowd, she noticed a high class pony glaring daggers at her.

I think it’s time I made an example of somepony.

“You!” she yelled, pointing at the aforementioned pony, “what have you to say to me?”

“What do I have to say?!” the noble yelled, “I think you’re a bucking harlot, and your rule needs to come to an end!”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?! ROSELUCK, TAKE HIM TO THE GALLOWS!”

“Yes, m’lady!” the frightened pony yelled as she fled the room, the doomed stallion grasped firmly in her hooves.

Do these ponies really expect me to be nice when they call me by such heinous names? I am Lady Harvest, the baroness of Equestria, and they are nothing but filth! Fragile ponies who are lucky I haven't squashed them like the stupid bugs they are!

“You ponies all think me to be evil, but when have I ever laid harm upon any of you until this moment?! But this was the last straw! From now on, no more ‘Ms. Nice Mare’!”

The crowd of ponies that had assembled to protest were still frozen in shock. Golden Harvest had just had a pony hung for verbally assaulting her. And because of this, a question loomed in the air. Not why she did it, but how long it would be until she did it again.

“From this day forth, anypony caught on castle grounds outside of court dates will be incarcerated. If anypony has the gall to oppose me, speak your mind now, or forever hold your peace.”

With nopony having said anything after a few moments, Lady Harvest rose her voice to a near eardrum shattering level.

“THEN GO! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!”

In an instant, every pony, stallion, mare, and foal, galloped out of the castle in fear of sharing the same fate as the stallion she had just had hung.

Trotting back to her throne, Golden Harvest took a seat and began talking to her student, who had returned during the commotion. “Roseluck, what am I doing wrong?”

“I see nothing wrong with the current state of the kingdom, m’lady. The protesters’ arguments are flimsy.”

“Perhaps you are right, my dear Roseluck,” her mentor said with a sigh.

Upon earning her mentor’s praise, Roseluck beamed. “Don’t worry, Lady Harvest, I’m sure they will come around eventually.”

With renewed determination, Golden Harvest rose from her throne. “And why shouldn’t they? Our kingdom is the most prosperous on the planet, and others are hard pressed to keep pace!”

“Exactly, m’lady, that’s the spirit!”

“Yes! I lead a wonderful kingdom! These fools have no idea what they’re talking about when they call me a tyrant!”

But as quickly as she had stood up, she sat back down on her throne, propping her right forearm up and resting her chin on her hoof.

“Is something still bothering you, m’lady?”

“No, Roseluck, I just feel... tired,” she explained, stifling a yawn.

“Well, it is nearing eight o’clock, m’lady.”

Getting up, Golden Harvest began trotting down a nearby hall, waving back to Roseluck. “I’m going to retire for the night. Feel free to do the same, my faithful student.”

“Yes, m’lady,” responded Roseluck with a bow.

After a few more moments, Golden Harvest waltzed into her room and collapsed onto her bed, exhausted from the events that had transpired just minutes ago. Within seconds, sleep overtook her, and she drifted off into a world of dreams.

Golden Harvest awoke with a start, drool covering the spot on her pillow where she had been resting her muzzle. Next to her was her marefriend, Roseluck, sleeping like a rock, as usual. After stretching her limbs and letting out a very long yawn, Golden Harvest made her way out of bed and into the kitchen, where she began preparing breakfast.

Shortly afterwards, Roseluck trotted into the kitchen, and rubbing her eyes, let out a yawn. “Morning, honey.”

“Good morning, Rosey,” Golden Harvest replied with a smile. “How’d you sleep?”

“What do you think?” asked her marefriend in response, causing Golden Harvest to let out a giggle. She slept like a rock every night, so there was no reason to have asked. “What about you, Goldilocks?”

“Well, you are not going to believe the dream I had last night...”

Dramatic Reading

Youtube Video