The Conversion Bureau - How I Learned to Teach Newfoals

How I learned to Teach Newfoals – Concerning History and Magic
By Berry Pony

“This doesn't make any sense!” May exclaimed.

On my bed, half-asleep with the notes on human culture spread all around me, I looked over at May who was curled up in a side chair with my copy of Daring Do's adventures.

May closed the book and set it aside. “Dragons, manticores and minotaurs. This reads more like a Dungeons and Dragons Monster manual than an adventure story. I'm supposed to believe that dragons and the like actually exist in Equestria?”

“Dragons,” Daybreak interrupted, “do exist as well as all the other monsters.” The pink unicorn entered our room with a pair of pink glowing cafeteria trays floating behind her. “You missed the dinner call so I thought I'd bring a meal up to you.” The dinner trays floated to a small table, their magical glow fading. “I hope you like alfalfa cubes, corn, flaked oats and an apple. May, I brought you a salad. Don't expect me to bring all your meals from now on. The cafeteria serves dinner at six.”

May stared at the dinner trays. “How.. how'd... how'd you do that?”

“Do what?” Daybreak asked.

“Made the trays fly?”

“Daybreak's using her magic,” I said. Standing up, I stretched my wings and hopped over to the table. In the downdraft, the pages of Daybreak's notes went flying around the room.

“Is... is it rare?”

“Oh, magic's common on Equestria,” Daybreak said calmly. “Most unicorns like me can do some magic. Pegasi and Earth ponies have their own magic as well, not as obvious.” She started collecting loose pages.

I buried my nose into the plate of alfalfa.

“But there's no such...” May started. “We've never had anything like magic on Earth. People have been looking for it for a long time but there's no evidence that magic or something like it ever existed.”

Daybreak turned and looked at May. “There's magic on Earth just like there is in Equestria. The same magic. Your own literature, folk tales and myths tell of magic users. It's just that over time, humans lost the ability to sense the existence of magic.”

I continued to chow down on my dinner.

“Are you telling me that all the things that Sir James Frazer wrote about in 'The Golden Bough' actually has its basis in actual magic?” May asked.

“Let me pose a question,” Daybreak began. “Why are there stories about magic - so many stories - when magic never existed? Why does every culture have myths about magic users? Something happened a long time ago and those people that could see magic died out. Probably about the time that humans gave up hunting for cities.”

May grinned. “Perhaps. But that doesn't explain why ponies can do magic. Or where you ponies came from. Juicy Fruit doesn't know. Where could I find some information on the very early history of Equestria?”

I stopped licking off my dinner plate. “Canterlot?” I suggested before turning my attention to the large golden apple.

Daybreak gave the matter some thought. “Well, the Royal Library at Canterlot might have some information but the palace itself isn't very old, being founded when the three tribes of ponies bonded together to form the original Equestria. But I'll make some inquiries.” She placed the few pages of notes that she had gathered next to my bed. “I'll be going now.”

May looked over at me and back to Daybreak. “Seeing as I'm going to spend the night here, are there any problems with me sharing this room with Juicy Fruit?”

I tried to swallow the apple quickly.

“I don't foresee any problems,” the pink unicorn said. “If Juicy Fruit doesn't mind?” She looked at me.

Inhaling, I choked on the golden apple.

“No problem at all.” Daybreak continued. “Breakfast is served from seven to nine. Good night!”

I got the last of my apple down as Daybreak left the room.

May smiled and began to collect the rest of the scattered pages of my notes. “I really, really hope you don't mind...” she said as she handed me the sheaf of notes. “This will be so much fun.”

Something poked me in the ribs. I shifted and tried to return to my dreams of clouds and blue skies.

“Get up, you lazy pegasus,” a voice insisted. “We barely have enough time to get to breakfast as it is.”

I opened my eyes slowly to see a human looming over me, getting ready to poke me again with her book. I screamed, flailed my hooves around in my bedsheets and managed to crash to the ground.

“Serves you right,” May continued. “Now, let's get a move on.”

“May?” I inquired as I stared out of my impromptu bedsheet cocoon.

“The same,” she replied as she stepped around the thoroughly messed bed and helped me untangle the sheets that had wrapped themselves around me.

I stood up, shook out my wings and reached for my mane and tail brush. “Let... me get -”

“No time.” May grabbed my brush from the side table and with strong, quick strokes, began to make my mane presentable.

I leaned into the brushing and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling.

“There!” May said. “I used to help get my sister ready for school the same way. But this is a one time deal – the next time you oversleep – you're on your own.” She turned, took my tail and brushed out the knots and tangles. “And done!”

“Thank you, May,” I said, giving my tail a trial swish.

May tossed the brush onto the side table and picked up her overnight bag. Her own bed had been neatly made. She turned back to me at the door. “If we hurry, we can still make breakfast.”

In the cavernous cafeteria, the serving ponies were starting to clean up after the morning rush. The sun showed weakly from a gray overcast sky – a flat pale light that showed not the slightest hint of the sun's warmth. I made my request for a bowl of warm oatmeal, pears and apples to a cyan and magenta earth pony. He served me from almost empty serving bowls and warned me that in the future, I might not be so lucky. May waved me to a table where she had already laid out her breakfast.

“What's on the schedule for today?” May asked.

I raised my head from my bowl of oatmeal. “I'm not really sure. I guess... continuing to-”

“There you are,” Desert Rose shouted. “I've been wondering what's been keeping you.” The tan earth pony crossed the cafeteria and stopped before our table. “Golden Circle wants you to know that next class of beginning fliers will start classes the day after tomorrow. And he's got your class of pegasi in an Equestria customs and manners class this afternoon. May. if you are interested, Daybreak's about to start her 'Introduction to Equestria 101: History and the Land' class for humans. It'll be a weekly course for people considering becoming ponies.”

“That does sound interesting,” May quickly said. “Come on, Juicy Fruit, let's go to that.”

I thought longingly about my room and bed. “I thought... if I don't have any classes to teach...”

“That's the spirit!” May grinned. “And I can ask Daybreak some of these questions that I've been thinking about while waiting for you to wake up.”

---------------This is as far as I got. From here – the story goes onto hiatus – I'm sorry.