From the Increasingly Complicated Mind of Discord

by Scootareader

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Discord, Slice of Life
Length: 5476

Well, I think of things, too. Care to follow along?

Chaos is as chaos does. I think, I enjoy myself, I even have a zoo of cute animals. What does this have to do with what you asked? Oh, that's just the beauty of it!

I'm not all that exciting, but I'm flattered you'd ask. Why share your thoughts with another when you can be him?

(This is a first-person mental trip that follows Discord from before he was sealed by the princesses until after the events of Keep Calm and Flutter On. Not for everyone, I'll say that much.)

Published 2013-02-10 04:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-03 05:29:37 UTC

Before the Beginning

Freedom. Chaos. Rebels. Standouts. Standoffs. Piefights. Pieshows. Pie-baking. Ponies baking. Ponies playing. Animals playing. Ah, an animal, where is one?

I find a blue bird and make it green. Then I replace its wings with hands. Then I make it do a handstand. Oh, I'm bored now. Time to create a chair stampede!

A creature of chaos, a sprite of disorder, the one salmon who swims downstream. Ah, there goes the chairs. So maybe a few legs get broken. They can be replaced! After all, a little chaos never killed anypony, did it?

Well, maybe it did, just that once. Maybe the depressed piano that could jump wasn't a good idea on the second story of a home. The poor pony never saw a jumping piano coming, did he? Oh, it was fun, sure, but perhaps a bit excessive. I've refined my methods somewhat since then.

Those poor, silly princesses. They declared me an enemy of the state. They put out bounties on my head. I saw the posters. “Wanted: Alive – Discord. Reward: 10000 Bits.” Such an antiquated way to hunt the spirit of chaos, don't you think?

Oh, yes, I couldn't agree more, my dear friend. How could they hope to trap the embodiment of not being trapped? Those foolish ponies never seem to learn. Luna seems troubled. Maybe she'd have some fun if her bothersome sister wasn't so... sisterly.

Ooh, that Celestia. Why does being able to raise the sun make you royalty? I can raise it. Several times, in fact. King Discord, ruler of Equestria. You never know if the sun will be out, or the moon... or, perhaps the moon is just cheese and the sun is the fire of friendship burning inside each and every one of us and... oh, bahaha, it's just so ridiculous! Friendship? Defeat me?

Princess Celestia told me that! She told me, “The power of friendship will defeat you!” And then, nothing happened! I just snapped my fingers and turned her hair into a bunch of bananas and laughed as she screamed and ran inside. Sure, it was more showboaty than that, with these silly pendants and a crown and a lot of glowing, but it all just disappeared and I thought it was hilarious! A princess that thinks she can wave around a few magic wands and make me disappear.

After all, I am Discord. What do you expect, that normal rules apply to me? Oh, sure, I tried to be nice in the beginning, but make one mistake and they turn on you. Changing the time of day just a little bit never hurt anything, did it? But noooo, they had to yell at me and make me change it back. Nopony likes the moon anyway. Then again, if it was cheese... maybe even I'd look forward to the night, then. Maybe I could suggest that to Luna.

Oh, a pony is coming! Let's see, a prank, a prank... there! Just a snap of my fingers, and there's a pony-sized frog waiting to surprise him. Ha, he ran away screaming!

Ugh... that wasn't very clever, was it? I mean, a pony-sized frog? Why not a froggy pony, or a hydra with no legs? Something funny, not this. I'm losing my touch.

Ah, Luna. I've always wished she wasn't so serious all the time. She could really have some fun.

She came and talked to me earlier, you know. Told me I had one last chance to change my ways, or she'd be forced to take action. Oh, the hollow threats of desperate ponies. Canterlot Castle is a lot prettier upside down, anyway.

Which reminds me, I was supposed to have a tea party with some particularly well-mannered rocks today. One of them told me he even writes for the Canterlot Cacophony. It's probably a lie, but oh, they do make great conversation partners when they embellish their literary achievements, don't they?

What's this? Oh, the “princesses” again. Maybe if I sing enough they'll stop trying to talk to me. “Hello, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna. I assume you're not here to enjoy yourselves, so I suppose I'll sing you some opera this time. Maybe it'll loosen the both of you up a little.”

Ah, the rhythm of music. One can really lose themselves in it, can they not? The beauty of the voice really takes on a new meaning when one is singing to two princesses who seem obsessed with destroying the voice of one such as myself. Ah, they're sparkling again. Perhaps they--

Oh, this has ruined my day. It appears I can't move. No matter, I'll just--

Scratch that, I can't. Stone? How boring.

I've... never had to write quite like this before.
--Scootareader

Just a Bit of Chaos

Well, this is incredibly boring.

They turn me to stone, then make me an ornament? Some noble princesses they may be. It reminds me of this one time that I turned a pony into an ant and watched her try not to get stepped on. I'm Discord, though; they're just a couple hypocritical royalty.

Oh, I have wings and a horn, don't I? Doesn't that make me a prince? Can't I wear diapers and turn my nose up at common folk like the rest of them do? But oh, I wouldn't want to do that, it sounds so droll.

But not as droll as being a stone statue, watching ponies ogle at me and taunt me just outside of my prison. Three days I've been here, and three days is already far too long. I can't enjoy myself at all! There's no fun when there's no change.

Ah, another bird lands on me. Ah, it relieved itself on my shoulder. When I get out of here, that is one bird who will be receiving a giant ball of dirt inside its home. Oh, but that just sounds petty. How about a giant ball of yarn? No, no. A mohawk! Oh, it won't be able to lay its feathers down for days! And mohawks look so adorable on birds. Not that I've ever seen it before. Your days of smooth feathers are numbered, Mr. Green Jay.

After all, somepony is going to come by and release me. There has to be somepony out there who wants to see a little more chaos in the world. They'll just come by and release me, somehow, and I'll be free to wreak havoc on Equestria just like old times! And I won't be caught off-guard by those foolish princesses again... their jewelry is going to take a little dirt nap. Or bed nap. Or a nap in the sky. Wherever I feel like letting them take their nap, really.

Well, day number... a lot. Even Discord doesn't get that bored when he's frozen in a statue. It has to have been over a thousand years. Princess Luna has even come back.

It was only a few months after I got turned to stone that her sister turned on her. She just wanted a little chaos in her life, but big bad Tia had to break out the big guns and banish her for enjoying herself. She should have sided with me, I knew it. She looks like boring old Princess Luna again. That's no fun at all.

I'm beginning to think I'll never break out of here. Oh, that's just too pessimistic. Why bog myself down with thoughts like that? Back to planning for after my escape. Let's see... buffalo ballerinas, that's a necessity. Chocolate milk cotton candy clouds, oh, those'll be a hoot for sure! And how about soap instead of roads? They'll absolutely love it! The princesses will apologize for locking me away for over a thousand years, there will be a ceremony in my honor, the name Discord will ring through the streets as I make gravity disappear and all of the ponies just float around to their heart's content! Or the princesses will just turn me back into stone and I'll have to wait another thousand years to be released. Or I can just take away those precious elements of whatever it was and watch Celestia squirm.

Escaping from this prison will be so much fun! I just need a little spark to start all of it.

Oh, yawn. Another one of those filly tour groups or whatever. Don't they have important classes on the ridiculous laws of physics to study or something? It won't do them any good, anyway. I'll make sure of that.

What's this? An argument. They can't agree on something. These are three ponies who want a little more chaos.

The seed has been planted. Little do you know, my little ponies, that life is about to get a whole lot more fun.

That's two chapters in a night, just so I can post it. You guys have waited long enough for this, the least I can do is make sure it's up on the day I want it to go up. That's 2/5 of the story in one night!
--Scootareader

The Return of Harmony

Ah, it's good to be free once again! I stretch a little bit, working out the kinks in my body. A few ponies see me and run away, screaming something about a monster. Princess Celestia will know I'm back soon enough. Time to get to work.

First things first: The Elements of Harmony. In a snap of my fingers, there they are! Oh, it's just so easy! I juggle them for a few moments, adding in a few rocks and garden statues. Then I walk away and let them juggle themselves. I have more dire matters to attend to. Another snap of the fingers, and out comes a fleet of pink clouds made out of cotton candy. I look questioningly at one, and it begins pouring out chocolate milk. Ah, a creation worthy of my name! I direct my army of sticky, chocolatey chaos to break all of those boring ponies out of their monotonous lives with something completely different.

Looking around, everything is so decidedly mundane. It could do with some spicing up! I change the grass into carpet, the hedges become a little bit more brambly, and the statues begin a game of Old Mare. Much more comfortable. I begin releasing waves of chaos, not sure what they will do to Equestria, but knowing it will make the lives of all of these ponies far better. I can't be everywhere at once, but my namesake can.

I wait for the inevitable visit to Celestia by her new champions. She doesn't know where the Elements are, so she's going to cry wolf and get other ponies to do her dirty work. She's changed since last we crossed paths. Celestia has become shrewd, cunning, royal—I've, well. I haven't changed. Not since I got turned to stone.

I toy with the new ponies for a little bit, tell them some half-baked riddle, then leave the clueless mares to wander around until their fearless leader comes up with something that fits the riddle. Of course she'll focus on the first line, which is what makes riddles so much fun! Oh, they'll be at this for hours! Time to enjoy some chaos.

Manehattan has been overrun with giant sewer rats—harmless, of course. Fillydelphia has had a particularly nasty revolt of food that feels like it deserves more say than simply being eaten. Canterlot... well, let's just say those snobby ponies don't have their noses turned up so high anymore. Who would have thought that balls of garbage could float? And Ponyville, that place is developing nicely. Plenty of wonderful chaos brewing there.

Ah, my banana phone is ringing. That means it's time to go back to those boring ponies. I snap my fingers and decide to make a dramatic entrance. Yes, yes, no wings, no magic. In the maze they go, and separated they become. Time to have some fun!

Honest Applejack first. She loves apples, so they ought to confuse her most. Having one's life's work give an omen of bad faith is sure to weaken the resolve. And a little hypnotism to make sure she doesn't decide to quit this halfway through. Oh, look at the compulsive liar inside of her go crazy! This is sure to cause some laughs further along the way.

Next is Pinkie Pie. I'll feel a little bad for this one, but it's for the best. We can't be having her ruin everything. After that, Rarity. Let's turn her greedy as can be. And after that, Fluttershy. She was pretty resistant of the idea, but nopony can resist a touch of chaos. Now she's cruel, and most unpredictably so. And, finally, the oh-so-loyal Rainbow Dash. What a piece of cake. Or pie. Or pike. Though, a slice of pike may not be as satisfying as that of pie or cake. Oh well, no matter. It's time to break the sad news to the would-be saviors of Equestria.

“I'm not playing fair? Perhaps we haven't met. I'm Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony? Helloooooo?” I already know how this is going to end; the ponies will find out where I hid their elements, grab them, and try to vanquish me. Whatever this magic of friendship is, they don't seem to be very good exemplars of it. Add some chaos, and they become polar opposites. How easy to defeat my terrifying foes.

I follow the ponies to Ponyville, giving them some fun along the way. Despite how thoroughly enjoyable chaos can be, they don't seem to be enjoying themselves very much. I thought the roads made out of soap and the randomly changing day were good touches. Oh, what do ponies know of the finer points in life? Chaos is different. Exciting. Unexpected. That alone is worth everything.

They find the Elements, they put them on, and they try to stop me. They fail, of course. They never stood a chance against me. I particularly liked the part when Twilight Sparkle tried to make the dragon the new Rainbow Dash. Oh, chaos does bring out the best in all of us, doesn't it? These ponies will no longer be a problem.

Ah, Twilight Sparkle is looking somewhat lost. Let's see if we can get her to see things my way now. “Twilight, you've got to see this!” I show her a pony getting showered in pepper. She sneezes, and the buildings all fall down! Who could have seen that one coming? “It's priceless!” It doesn't even faze her. I decide to take away her cloud. “Come, now, Twilight Sparkle. You've got to get into the spirit of things! After all, this is your new home!”

The unshakable leader of this ragtag band of would-be saviors looks back at my re-imagining of Ponyville. “Not anymore.”

This is the best news I've heard in years! Finally, Discord is free to do whatever he pleases, and chaos can be pursued at will by none other than myself, as well as any other creatures who are as willing as I to embrace that which they don't know. Yet... I can't help shake the feeling... that I'm not as happy as I should be.

No matter. I take my place on a throne atop a hill that previously didn't exist and oversee the Chaos Capital. So much chaos. So much disharmony. So much fun! Scared ponies, crazy ponies, happy ponies, sad ponies, angry ponies, confused ponies, ecstatic ponies. No one could have expected all of this. It's exactly the world I'd dreamed of, imprisoned all those years in a magnificent statue. Plotting this world. Everything has come to fruition. I'm not about to cut back now. A passing cotton candy cloud passes nearby. I decide to get a nice drink from it and raise a glass. It fills up from the top to the bottom, and I prepare to enjoy. “Chaos is a wonderful, wonderful thing!”

“Not as wonderful as friendship!”

Oh, please. This again? The only ponies who were ever within my league were Celestia and Luna. I pointedly ignore them, but they seem determined to be the heroines of the day. I suppose I'll toy with them a little bit. Oh, so the Sparkle one can cast magic. Big deal. I pointedly ignore them as the already-defeated ponies prepare to wave their worthless Elements again. They've yet to admit defeat.

I notice that something a little different is happening this time. The Elements are responding. They... appear to be harnessing its power. Well... it's probably nothing. I'm Discord. They can't catch me off-guard.

Then a rainbow erupts from them. My eyes were closed last time, but this seems uncannily similar to what happened before. Maybe I should go. Maybe I should stay. I can't go back to being stone. Not that lonely, solitary existence again. I need change. I need chaos. I can't let them—oh no, oh no no no no nonononononono--

Well, bollocks.

Nine whole days between chapters. Of a short story. This one got pretty lengthy because it was based on two episodes, so I didn't schedule my time properly. Fear not, the next one shouldn't be quite so long of a wait!

--Scootareader

Friendship? Pah!

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I, Discord, was once again defeated. Not even by princesses this time, but by ponies. Common, tiny, bothersome ponies. I don't turn ponies to stone. They don't seem to hold the same misgivings about trapping creatures that I do. Well, maybe I'll be stuck in here another thousand years. It's not so bad... except the whole going insane with boredom thing. That probably is bad.

How did those ponies defeat me? They harness the Elements, just as the Princesses did so long ago. I never thought they would be able to use such power as they did. That's something for royalty, not for pawns. She seems too trusting. Too bold. It's a wonder she hasn't been defeated and overthrown by anypony—or any-draconequus—before now. What is the secret to her power?

Those ponies kept raving about their power. The power to seal me in stone. They called it the power of friendship. What a ridiculous notion. Friendship giving one power? That's not chaos; it's not magic. There's no fuel, no gauge, no teeth. It's as effective as a pacifist threatening to detonate a mega-spell. These archaicized ideas have no effect on me. And yet, they did.

I wonder what having a friend feels like. I know what not having a friend feels like. It's great. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to, and I don't need to worry about the feelings of others. It's great! I can enjoy everything with no repercussions. It's liberating. It's the obvious choice. I can't see myself anywhere else.

Ah, but my mind is drifting back to Twilight Sparkle. When I left her without friends and without hope. One of my finest moments, breaking such a disciplined and devoted pony of her devious mentor's grasp and letting her make her own decisions without her annoying “friends” to hold her back. There was... something about that moment. Something I didn't like having done. Did I... care?

Oh, pah! That's just ridiculous. I love chaos, and I love not having friends. They're nothing but trouble. Friends wouldn't turn me into stone, either. So there's that. I'll think about what to do after I get out of here. Hmm... those animals seemed far too cute and innocent for my tastes last time. How about I begin with them?

Some indiscriminate amount of time having been spent in my prison, I'm noticing a commotion of sorts. Chaos. I can smell it. I can feel it. It's going on everywhere. Something is brewing at Canterlot Castle.

Ah, sweet release! I just need a little glimmer of chaos to be rid of this boredom. I await the impending air in my lungs. Or the lack thereof. Maybe I breathe, maybe I don't. It doesn't really matter. I'm free!

Ooh, what's this? Strange black creatures, about the size of a pony. They have wings, fangs, strange eyes. These are some particularly chaotic creatures! A fine specimen for me to examine as soon as I'm released. Ah, they seem to be traveling... elsewhere. To a nearby building. Six familiar figures are dashing through the courtyard to the building. Oh, creatures of chaos, please defeat them!

Why have I not been released yet? Chaos should free me, should it not? Yet nothing is going on. Oh well, I'll just watch what goes on. Oh yes, they defeated them! Those foolish ponies are getting a reality check. Time for the precious kingdom of Equestria to crumble. And I shall take my rightful place at the throne... after overthrowing these would-be saboteurs.

Countless minutes pass. I see figures darting around, ponies being terrorized, the chaos in the city running rampant. What I wouldn't give to join them! Suddenly, a large pink bubble blasts out of Canterlot Castle and throws all of these fascinating creatures away. Drat.

Well, now this is a surprise. Celestia is paying me a visit. She walks up to me and says, “I believe in you, Discord.”

Well, that's pretty ambiguous. She loads me onto a chariot and orders the guards to fly to Ponyville. Oh, the home of those wretched ponies! Why is she taking me there? We land in Ponyville, where the six ponies and that silly tiny dragon—what was his name, Rainbow Dash?—are awaiting the arrival of their princess. The purple one, Twilight Sparkle, is upset, of course. She's seeing her favorite of all enemies, and a devilishly handsome one at that.

Princess Celestia is actually explaining her motives for once? This is a big change. Oh, ha! She thinks she can reform me! Oh, please, Fluttershy? That's the poorest choice I've ever seen. This will be laughable. Bring on the freedom, my little ponies!

Almost done already? That's an academy record!
--Scootareader

Because That's What Friends Do

Ah... free again. Pretending to stretch, and immediately getting to work toying with my would-be captors. I know that Twilight Sparkle pony won't do anything; she'll just bluff and posture and pretend she and her friends have me under their control. Fluttershy, the pony that Princess Celestia instilled confidence in, is trying to stop me, of course. Oh no, the Stare? My sides can't even take the ridiculousness of that sentiment! She thinks that she can stop me with nothing but a look? I'll feign coyness, telling Twilight Sparkle that I'll be submissive for now, but I'm really more interested in what Fluttershy is going to try to do. This will be so much fun, playing with a few helpless ponies.

The yellow one is “inviting” me to stay at her house. Well, all right, I more invited myself there. But that's what I do! Or don't. She doesn't know how much fun this will be yet, but I'm sure she'll love it. Even if she doesn't, then what does it matter? At least I'll be enjoying myself! After all, my satisfaction is pretty important.

Make myself at home, hmm? This will be my new favorite spot in the entire cottage. Poor little bunny, losing it to me. He never really stood a chance. I already know what Twilight Sparkle is going to do next, as well. She needs to be in control of everything. She'll go and look up a spell or something to help Fluttershy, and she won't find the pages because they'll be gone. Then I'll tell Fluttershy I'm getting better, she'll invite the other ponies, then she'll call me a friend and I'll have this in the bag. It's all planned out and ready to go.

Fluttershy seems to think it's odd that I'm eating paper. That's fine. She'll learn soon enough why I did this. Twilight was going to go around behind her dear friend's back and thwart me, so I took the initiative and stopped her. It's all for the best, after all. I'm sure she wouldn't mind me upending her home and spinning it, either. Whatever it takes to make myself comfortable, right? Oh, what a gullible pony.

A dinner party, hmm? This will present a unique opportunity for me.

Ah, the esteemed guests arrive. “May I take your... *ahem*... hats, ladies?” Ah, they all suspect me so much. The only one who thinks anything of the task Celestia set for me is the one she nominated for this. Not even her friends support her. So much for friendship.

Time to make things as uncomfortable as possible for our guests. Ah, a gravy boat for our most favored of all the guests, Pinkie Pie. And for Rainbow Dash, perhaps a little gravy in her lap. Serves her right for calling the poor thing creepy.

Dancing candles is innocent, is it not? And once again, Rainbow Dash is being bothersome. She's asking to be a target for insulting such wonderful chaos. Perhaps the fish spraying everypony is overdoing it a bit, but hey, what's life without a little surprise?

Ah, and it's time for the speech. Blah blah blah, none of you giving him a chance...

“Because that's what friends do.”

I, um... what? “We're friends?”

“Why, of course! I can't even remember my house being this lively before you came along!”

“Oh, well I... I've never really had a friend before....”

“Well, now you do.”

That... felt good. Friends.

And the rabbit decides to interrupt the proceedings. Yes, yes, all is being executed perfectly. Time to finish putting my plan into action. I already know the outcome, and I'll be free to wreak havoc upon Equestria once more. Oh, it will be so much fun!

The ponies come to Sweet Apple Acres to see the results of trying to tame Discord. I'm enjoying what I've done, of course; nopony else will, so I will get all the enjoyment that they're missing out on. Water-skiing around an apple farm isn't a very common occurrence, after all. Or perhaps it will be from now on. Ah, chaos is such a wonderful thing.

Time to bait Fluttershy into the trap. “Ah, Fluttershy, there you are! A sight for sore eyes.” And now it's time for her big speech about me being inconsiderate of other ponies, yeah yeah, her home, and now I need to fix it. “Ah, yes, very well, I willl fix it, I only ask one thing in return.”

“Yes?”

“I ask that you never use your Element of Harmony against me... as a sign of our friendship.”

Of course she'll say yes. She's so easy to manipulate. Checkmate, Celestia. “I will never use my Element of Harmony against you.” She throws her Element to Rainbow Dash. Ah, so now Rainbow Dash is the new Fluttershy.

“Excellent!” A snap of my fingers, and the flooded farm turns to ice. “I do prefer ice skating to water-skiing, don't you?”

And now it's time to force her to make a decision, one that she'll come to regret. The day she tried to fix Discord. What an easy feat. How did I ever get trapped in stone again? And now, time to flaunt my victory.

“Haha, you see? She wants to have fun with me because 'We're friends.' She can't use the Elements against me because 'We're friends.' I'm free, forever!” I let out a triumphant laugh. It's all over. I can enjoy myself from this moment forward.

“NOT. YOUR. FRIEND!”

“Who cares? I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm Discord, the master of chaos! You think you can boss Discord around? You think I'm just going to turn all this back because you say so? Because if I don't, I'll lose the one friend I ever had?”

… Oh. Wait a moment here. That... feeling. I've felt this way before. When I crushed Twilight Sparkle. Did I... want to be friends? Was I reaching out to her, just as I'm now reaching out to Fluttershy? Except this time, she actually became my friend... have I been doing everything wrong this entire time?

Selfishness. That's what's wrong with me. I've never had friends before because all I cared about was enjoying myself. The ponies could afford to let loose and enjoy the chaos a little more, but... I need to let them have things their way, too. “Well played, Fluttershy... well played.”

Time to turn everything back. I can't let myself lose the only friend I've ever had because I was selfish yet again. I sit upon an apple tree and let all return to how it should be with my magic.

The ponies congratulate her, of course. Nopony ever thanks Discord for being noble and giving up his lifestyle for others. But I've never been in this for the glamor. I guess... having friends is worth this. I appear next to them. “I like it better my way, but I guess when you're friends, you can't always have things exactly your way all the time, eh?”

This wasn't exactly a victory. I can't do whatever I want anymore. On a plus, however, I'm not stone right now, am I? Nothing is as incredibly boring as that. Even the normal pony world is more exciting than that. And I have a wonderful new friend to appreciate even the boring and mundane with. I guess it was somewhat of a victory.

“Yes, Princess, I'm ready to use my magic for good instead of evil... most of the time.”

Gag. This is the moment I was looking forward to the least. That smug look on the Princess's face. Her congratulating the pony she put all of her trust in. She won. She thoroughly defeated me, broke me, and made me her submissive servant. Yet, I feel no remorse. I don't regret what has happened. For once, Discord is happy with things going as planned.

Fluttershy nudges me with her nose. “Go on.. say it.”

I can't believe I'm doing this right now... “Um... all right...” let's get this over with: “friendship is magic!”

My time in Ponyville over, it's time to go back to Canterlot and help the Princess with whatever trivial matters require my talents. I say my goodbyes, thank Fluttershy again for helping me see the magic of friendship, and depart. I still have a bone to pick, however.

“So tell me, Princess. What schemes will you force me into now? How will you utilize Discord, the latest pawn in your game of thrones? Shall we overthrow Luna? Cadance? How about we take Saddle Arabia? No? Ah, the Changeling Kingdom! Your wish is my command. I shall help you use your forces for 'good.' Relatively speaking.”

Princess Celestia shakes her head and smiles. “That was never my intention, Discord. I never wanted to see you imprisoned. I want ponies—and draconequii—to enjoy themselves, and you surely weren't enjoying yourself while you were trapped in stone.”

“Ah, yes, being trapped in stone can be very difficult for a creature that craves change so much as myself. Where was my happiness? My enjoyment? My rights?”

“You'd forsaken those the moment you stopped taking the feelings of others into consideration. Now that you've realized that you can't always have what you want if you want to make friends, I feel you're ready to stay with me in Canterlot... as my friend.”

Friends? With my nemesis? She's got to be joking. She... no, she's being serious. She really... I can't believe it, she wants to be friends with me! Discord! The mascot of everything that she despises! “You have got to be joking!”

The smile still hasn't left her face yet. “No, I'm not. I know how wonderful friendship can be, and I want you to be happy. I don't want to control you, and I don't want to imprison you, either. I want you to have fun, and entertain ponies, and be who you were meant to be... but you can't ignore the feelings of others. You have never been evil, Discord; you simply never considered how your magic was making others feel.”

This is ridiculous. I can't believe I'm even listening to her. She'll use me, and when she's done, she'll discard me and turn me back to stone until she needs me again. This is the most obvious ploy at buttering me up that I've ever seen.

Friendship. I have to give her the benefit of the doubt... just as it was given to me. “Fair enough. We shall see.” The smile fades from her face. “I... believe you, Celestia.”

The smile reappears. I think I'm beginning to enjoy this. I like making ponies happy.

It's nice to finally have friends, too.

If I had one actual reason why I wanted to write this fic... it's for that part you just read.

--Scootareader