When You're Gone

"Shining Armor!"  I yelled as he walked into the library. He looked serious and I had no idea how to explain this to him. It took me a full hour to get him to agree on my decision, while Cadence just played with Stardust. "I think you're growing up faster than I am, but the foal isn't all that I came to talk about." Shining said.

"You're doing what!" I yelled in an excited tone. "Seriously, couldn't you have told me sooner I would've gotten Pinkie to throw another party!"

"That's the thing," Cadence continued, "we don't want the whole populous to know about my pregnancy."

"But-" I was cut-off by Shining. "It's for the better, and I think Stardust would enjoy some other filly company. If the cutie-mark crusaders don't smother her to death."

I laughed, "Okay, okay. You win. I guess in the end Stardust needs to learn about life outside the library and your foal might help her with that."

Cadence gave a sigh of relief. The two stayed for a couple days before going back to the castle.In that time Cadence taught me everything she knew and I forced her to give me a test. I was the best at tests. This time I knew what I was doing. Time to be a parent!

      The day finally came when she was going off to school. She had gotten  her cutie mark from the countless astronomy books she read and the image of stardust appeared on her flank. I taught her everything I knew. Her studies caught up with mine and we were partners in the studies. Stardust Sparkle was a little sister, a daughter, and a playmate to Spike. Somehow she could always trick Rarity into giving up a few jewels.

     Stardust's dream was to get into Princess Luna's School for Gifted Ponies. I went to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, but at Luna's school all ponies could attend. Which meant more socialization. Princess Shimmer Rose was about Stardust's age and would be attending the same school. Life was looking up for Stardust and I. Two weeks until she went to her dream school. How exciting! I remember when I first got into the school for gifted unicorns. That's another story though.

     I walked into her room and looked around. She had the door to her bathroom open and she was coughing up the most blood I have ever seen. She looked sickly and weak, like the first time I met her. I look onto the counter and saw that her medication was gone. Stardust looked up at me like she was sorry. I smiled, "It's okay if you forgot to tell me. Even I forget things."

     Stardust nodded, "Thanks, mom." She had always called me mom. I was her mother. Not biologically, but still, I raised her, which meant that I'm her mother. I nodded and replied warmly, "Now, you should be packing and I'll go get more from Nurse Red Heart."

     I walked back down the stairs and made her favorite breakfast. For some reason, Stardust would never eat anything unless some sort of fruit was with it. My personal favorite was a daisy sandwich. I thought I would make an all fruit salad for her, since it was her special day. My parents threw a party before I left but I mostly spent my time reading in my room so I thought a party with a lighter mood might help.

     After making our breakfast, I trotted outside and started walking to Nurse Red Heart's clinic. Today was warm but it was scheduled to rain in the afternoon. I decided to take a short-cut through the alley of Sugar-Cube Corner.

       When I got home, Stardust's coughing had gotten worse. I ran up the stairs and let her take her medication. Over the years, her condition has only gotten worse. I had the temptation to use a healing spell, but I had no idea what I was trying to fix. Nurse Red Heart had said that her throat and stomach are perfectly fine and that she had no idea what was wrong. The medication only doused the effects for 12 hours.

     She started coughing again. Stardust fell down in a coughing fit.

     The hospital was deathly quiet except the beeping of the heart machine. It felt like death hung in the air. Stardust was laying in the bed, unconscious. I felt like screaming for her to wake up. She was barely breathing. I turned my head away and saw that outside, a figure almost exactly like Stardust stood outside. The same colors, only larger and without a horn. I was about to go outside and question the figure when the beeping stopped. I started crying and screaming for the doctors. I was being dragged out by Applejack and Rainbow Dash. I kicked and screamed and wailed as they took her to the emergency room. The doors slammed shut. I broke down.

     It hurt so much to see her go. When the doors shut I had no idea that I'd never see her again.

     I sat in the waiting room, feeling sorry for myself. The doctor, Dr. Heart healer a mare, walked in with a solemn expression. She said in a quiet voice, "I'm so sorry Miss Twilight. We did everything we could."

I fell and curled up in a tight ball. My tears wouldn't stop. I started getting sick from all the crying. I threw up on the floor while bawling my eyes out.

"It'll be alright sugar cube." I heard Applejack say.

       No matter what anyone said to me, my tears kept falling. I felt a hole begin to form in my heart. The figure I saw earlier walked in with a cloak covering it's face.

"Her condition could not be helped. When she was young, the alicorn's curse overtook her heart. I gave her to you. Don't hate me please."

But I did. I hated it because she meant everything to me.

That night, I cried myself to sleep.

                                                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Which brings us to our present day. And also why I'm standing here, on a balcony in Canterlot Castle. Celestia offered to help with the pain, Luna as well. Cadence had no idea what to do. Luna helps me visit her in my sleep. Celestia helps me get through the day by keeping me company in the library. Spike left me a while ago. Now he lives with the Apple family and works at the library. Bad memories and good ones dwell there. I can't stop him. I feel like jumping onto the pavement but I know that if I do the elements will scatter again. So, I've decided to live at the castle for now, just until my bond with the princesses are strong enough to dream jump from different towns.

     I guess I will just hang on, and stay strong for Equestria.

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