Just another day at Sweet Apple Acres
It was a mild spring day in Ponyville. Noon hour had come and past and stallions and mares alike had finished their lunches before going to back to work.
Others were not so fortunate enough to go on break in the first place, especially those who worked at Sweet Apple Acres. Bucking trees and harvesting the succulent fruit of their labor, the Apple Family and their farmhands sometimes needed to skip lunch to finish their quota.
Today was no different.
Big Mac overlooked his farmhands as they piled crate after crate of Sweet Apple Acre’s selection of red delicious on one of the many roads that cross his family’s orchard. Leaning back as he chewed on his Tassel-weed and pulled his worn working gloves on, Big Mac sighed loudly as he watched Goldengrape struggle with a crate containing only a quarter of its carrying capacity and Caramel realizing he should have worn his work boots today, just as Lucky Clover knocked an overloaded apple crate onto his toes.
To his credit, at least Lucky Clover didn’t knock it on his own this time.
For as long as Big Mac could remember, the Apple Family had run and maintained the farm and the orchard single handedly with very little help from the town of Ponyville. However, the weeks after Winter Wrap up weren’t exactly all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, what with the closing of the blueberry crumble factory when Pinkie Pie revealed to the general public that the blueberries were just raisins filled with blue food dye and something about the health inspector issuing a record breaking 167 health and safety violations to the manager who was in charge of the plant and surrounding warehouses. They still haven’t found him yet, not since he pushed Pinkie Pie and the health inspector into a vat of ~~blueberry~~ raisin jam and emptied the companies accounts before darting out of the plant, leaving scores of confused and jobless employee’s and two very sticky Ponies in his wake. The police are following a lead after he was spotted running out of a hotel in Manehattan with a duffel bag overflowing with bits. They are optimistic in his eventual capture once Pinkie Pie took the case.
He did break a Pinkie Promise, after all.
Suffice to say, many ponies were out of a job. However, it was Ponyville, the home of the Elements of Harmony, as well as the leading contender for the most numerous property damage claims in the known world.
Rarity, being the element of generosity, hired many of the ex-staff of the Crumble Factory to help her with her new spring line-up and the remodeling of the Carousel Boutique. Granted, she had to train each of them individually, but it gave her the opportunity to finally expand her store now that she had employee’s at her disposal. Applejack and Big Mac, inspired by Rarity’s show of compassion, followed suit by taking in the workers from the neighboring warehouses to help around the farm until new job opportunities arose around Ponyville in the near future.
And as of now, several weeks later, the farmhands were still coping with their new working environment during the first harvest of the year.
“Bring it all in, fella’s, this here’s the last batch of the day!” Apple Cobbler chirped as she readjusted the strap on her shirt cuff. “Unless Big Mac has other plans, that is!”.
“Nnnnope!” Big Mac smirked, rubbing his coarse gloves across his bare arms before readjusting the straps on his coveralls. Apple Cobbler yawned as she leaned against a sturdy apple-tree with a couple other work hands eager to avoid Celestia’s afternoon sunrays in the shade. Apple Cobbler was called in from her own farm after her younger siblings began working the fields back home when Big Mac offered her more hours to help turn the warehouse ponies into proper farmhands. Wanting her younger siblings to strive in their new independent surroundings, and looking for any opportunity to pay off some cumbersome debts, she took the job immediately.
The hard work was worth every drop of sweat clinging to the Earth Ponies furrowed brows. The crates stood tall, ready to be shipped back to the farm in the back of the Apples famed utility truck.
Except there was no truck stampeding down the road when there definitely should have been one. And Big Mac’s own red 1967 Chevy pickup wouldn't make it past the first incline.
“Hey Big Mac, where’s the Persuader?”. Baritone gestured as he tilted his baseball cap just as Caramel kicked Lucky Clover in the shin with his good foot, rendering it just as pain-ridden as the one now turning purple under the apple-crate.
Big Mac frowned. The Persuader was a gift from the Royal Guard to Applejack after the Changling invasion, courtesy of the Commander on duty that day who expressed displeasure with the lack of a reward for such an act of courage and bravery, something which Applejack and her friends seemed to emit in at every given opportunity. Applejack accepted the gift in stride, finally giving her the chance to retire Granny Smith’s vintage long-bed to the barn.
“Hay, we could have gotten this whole orchard done by lunch if Applejack bothered showing up for work today.” Baritone rolled his eyes as Caramel screamed in agony and Lucky Clover hopped around clutching his shin, tripping over a tree root. “So much for her punctuality. Maybe she could have been the one to drive the damn truck!”.
Oh, yes. And Applejack ~~chose~~ was forced to take a day off.
Heck, Applejack grabbed her work duds and had to be dragged back in to the house by Big Mac himself this morning. She had been working 70 hour weeks for seven weeks and needed some time to cool down, even if she didn’t particularly like it. When the harvests were slow, Applejack used her spare time to help her friends, which almost always meant storming headlong into peril, usually saving Ponyville in the process. But those were on slow days on the Apple family farm, during a harvest, Applejack was pumped and ready to lift steel girders if it meant helping the farm get some good, hard earned bits. Maybe she was a little too strong-headed, pushing her agile body beyond it limits.
But it was her day off. For reals. Seven weeks of nonstop work had put a chilling routine into her head, where rest was a secondary option. Today was her day to not contribute to anything at all.
And unlike any other pony in Ponyville, she didn’t like it one bit.
However, things were turning sour in the midst of Big Mac and his working crew. Or in the case of the apples. Ripe.
“So, are we just gonna let them roast in Celestia’s sun or are we going to haul them back to the farm one by one?”. Burnt Oak muttered with a hint of utmost subtle sarcasm.
“I gave the keys to Baritone this morning.” Apple Cobble said, uncapping her water-bottle.
“Well, I gave the keys to Caramel a minute afterwards, I can’t drive something that big. Besides, I thought Applejack taught him how to drive the dang thing yesterday.” Baritone frowned.
“And you honestly thought Caramel would remember? He forgot the grass seeds for winter wrap up again!”. Burnt Oak snapped. “And just last week he forgot he worked here! I had to pick him up from the crumble factory parking lot!”.
“Hey, no need to throw me under the bus! I try my best to remember!”. Caramel whined.
“If you tried your best we wouldn’t be stuck here with the whole orchards supply of apples ready to bake in the sun, and you sure as hell wouldn’t have forgotten where you put the confounded walkie-talkie this morning!”. Lucky Clover snapped, his eyes narrowing.
Caramel gulped loudly. “Okay, granted, I did forget where I put that thing, and I misplaced my wallet before leaving the house at dawn, but I do have the keys to the Persuader right-“Caramel patted his pocket, only to pause and pat his other pocket. “-Right-“he patted his breast pocket. “-Right-“he patted his rear pockets and then his knee’s. Looking at the group with a mixture of embarrassment and strained pride, he gulped. “Okay, I don’t know where the keys are.”
HONK HONK
Whipping around to the blaring sound of a truck horn (Baritone and Goldengrape conked heads doing so), their strife had been vanquished by the incoming monster that kicked up a storm of dust and gravel in its wake.
Celestia’s rays reflected off the deep shade of Orange that coated the body of the massive 6-wheeled 2.5 ton M35A3 as it ramped off an incline that Bic Mac never seemed to remember existed until he bumps his head against the roof of his truck when driving over it. Screeching to a halt in front of the groups apple pile, the truck’s air brakes gave off a high-pitched sigh. With such an enormous vehicle rumbling away, it was no wonder Applejack named it the ‘Persuader’.
“I thought Applejack said she was takin a day off, wasn’t she Big Mac?”. Apple Cobbler asked as the driver, still slightly obscured by the dust, unbuckled his seatbelt and pried open the door, which once bared the military insignia of Celestia’s blazing sun, now sported a blush red apple, which obscured the driver as he stepped out of the truck.
And would you guess who it was?
“Blue Bonnet?”. Baritone called out.
“Icy Drop?”. Caramel called out as well. “Is that you?”.
“Nah, stupid! Those guys called in sick today! It’s probably Romana!”.
“My bit’s are on Bill Neigh.”
Stepping into view from the cloud of dust, sporting a pair of Brown Chestnut knee-high cowpony boots and matching gloves, faded blue jeans with three red apples stitched onto each thigh, a red flannel shirt topped with an opened brown Chestnut vest and her signature Stetson hat tilted low to cover her deep green eyes.
“…Icy Drop?”.
“Guess again, Caramel!”. Everypony’s favorite orange mare replied in a gleeful tone. It was none other than Applejack herself, who smirked as she cracked her knuckles before reaching into the breast pocket of her vest. Her Orange coat practically glistened in the sunshine as the wind picked up, her blond ponytail caught in the wind as well as every particle of dust for two miles, Which wouldn’t even cover half of the orchard that still needed to be picked (Or bucked) free of apples. Her ears perked up as she heard a collective sigh of relief from her farmhands.
“Ah think ya forgot these, Caramel.” She smiled, tossing a set of keys to Caramel, who nearly caught them with his eye. “Now, ah wasn’t just goin’ ta let mah apples roast in the fields on mah day off, so why don’t chu all lend ah hand?”. Applejack scooped an apple crate off the ground and slid it across the truck bed with an immense show of strength. Finding their motivation, the farmhands quickly began to dismantle the pile of crates and move it to the Persuader. Big Mac, relieved that the apples weren’t going to end up worm-food today, shrugged his shoulders. Not at the relief, but at Applejacks dedication. Either that, or her sheer stubbornness.
“Awww, why the long face, Big Macintosh? Ya’ll upset yer little sister is hoggin all the fun?”. Applejack playfully sneered as she climbed into the bed of her truck and began stacking the incoming crates.
“Nnnnnope.” Big Mac replied as he carried four crates at once to its destination on the Persuaders back.
“Well then, maybe ya can give Goldengrape some help with them half-empties.” Applejack breathed, taking five at once to the very back of the truck bed as Caramel and Baritone began loading the Persuader with two crates at once. “Come on, Goldengrape! Yer pencil pushin’ days are long over! Put some muscle into it.”
“I don’t have enough muscle in my entire body to lift more than one!”. Goldengrape gasped, his face turning red as his knee’s trembled from the immense weight in his hands nearly toppled him over like a house of cards. “THE PAPER SHREDDER I OPERATED COULD LIFT MORE THEN ME!!”. Big Mac rolled his eyes, this was Goldengrape’s last chance to find work in Ponyville after the plant closed. At first, Big Mac turned him away due to his lack of physical experience and any muscle but had a change of heart last week when he learned Goldengrape and his family had to choose between paying the gas and electricity for that month, or, buying groceries.
Big Mac wasn’t going to let a stallion chose between keeping the lights on or feeding his wife and daughter, but, he was honestly thinking if he had made the right choice hiring him. Goldengrape could seriously hurt himself in this field of work.
Shutting his eyes, Goldgrape gritted his teeth as sweat dripped down his face, crying out just as his knees buckled. Dropping the heavy crate, Goldengrape fell to his hands as he waited for the crate to clatter to the ground and spill its contents. But it never happened.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, Grape, you are doing a better job today then you did all week.” Baritone muttered, receiving a harsh glare from Big Mac, who had earlier caught the apple crate just in time and placed it on the Persuader’s bed. Goldengrape shook his head, wiping the sweat from his brow as his muscles tensed up as Big Mac looked on.
“How the hell do you do it, Macintosh?”. Goldgrape inquired. “Those arms of yours can bend steel girders, what do you eat? 8 servings of veggies and wheat for breakfast?”.
“Yyyyup.” Big Mac Responded, offering the exhausted stallion a hand. “Don’t you worry none, I’ll give you ah hand.” And with that, Big Mac took one end of the next crate and gestured Goldegrape to grab the other.
“That’s the most I’ve ever heard you say all week.”
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Several hours and many bumpy rides through the orchard later, it was time to call it a day, much to everyone’s relief (Especially Goldengrape).
Everypony peeled out of their working attire and fumbled for their keys while others took the time to stretch and relax before fighting over whom would drive out of the impromptu parking lot near the barn first. However, they still needed to be paid. Preferably in bits.
Lined up in front of the Apple Family Homestead, Big Mac counted out their pay and handed them out to his farm hands one by one as Winona ran across the lawn.
“Thanks for the help today, Big Mac. I think I’m getting the hang of this.” Goldengrape thanked his boss as he pocketed his bits before turning to leave. Big Mac gave him a wave before turning into the house to change out of his workduds while the rest of the farmhands took to the road as the sun began to set over Ponyville. Big Mac imagined many of them were going to spend the final hours of the day at the pub.
“Yeah, maybe next week you can muster the strength to lift your daughter.” Baritone chuckled as Applejack shot him another frown. It didn’t last long, as she quickly smiled and slapped Goldengrape’s shoulder with her glove.
“Don’t mind him.” Applejack said as Baritone rolled his eyes before clambering into his dirty Mercedes Benz, far beyond the pay of anypony who once worked at a warehouse. “Keep up the hard work, Goldengrape. Over time, ya’ll be as strong as I am.” With that, Applejack rolled up her sleeve and flexed her bicep, which was something only a hard-working farm mare could obtain through many years of grueling crate lifting and cow-wrangling.
“Well, maybe not that strong.” Goldengrape laughed as he touched his tender arms, and sure enough, he could feel something growing there. Maybe the mare was onto something.
“But it’s somethin’, and that’s what counts.” Apple Cobbler smiled, patting her neck before stretching her arms. The stallion nodded and went on his way as Winona ran circles around Applejack’s feet. “Gotta hand it to you, Applejack, you drive that thing like a pro! How long have you had the persuader anyway?”.
“Long enough to practice, an’ give it ah new paint job, partner.” Applejack laughed. “Ya’ll wouldn’t believe what Rarity wanted to do with the thing, turnin’ ah military vehicle into ah fanceh shmanceh , diamond studded train wreck. Then you should have seen her when ah’ said how many puddles of mud ah intended on drivin’ the Persuader through!”. Applejack giggled. “Shut her riiiight up!”.
“We’ll, that there is Rarity for you.” Apple Cobbler chuckled before climbing the patio for the door. “Anway, ah’m goin’ on up to see if ah can lend a hand to Granny Smith with dinner. See ya then!”.
“Later, Partner!”. Applejack hollered. “An’ keep workin’ on that accent of yers!”. Winona continued to bark and run circles around her owners legs, eventually bumping into one of them and falling over. Kneeling down, she picked the scamp off her paws and placed her on the porch before seating herself next to her, who rolled on her back for a belly rub. Pulling her Stetson hat off and placing it onto the oak planks, she obliged and began to run her fingers through Winona’s fur. “Now, what was yur contribution to the day, Winona? Ya sure didn’t contribute to putting the finishin’ touches on this here porch.” Applejack ran her fingers down the patio banister.
“Ah'd say running several miles was her only contribution today.” Big Mac said, announcing his arrival from behind by placing a cold bottle of beer on the base of his sister’s neck. Applejack tensed up and bit her lip before she snagged the beer from her brother’s hand faster than he could blink. Playfully punching her brother in the shin, Winona barked and began to nose the bottle in her owners hand as Big Mac sat next to her, scratching Winona behind the ears. His tattered jeans, a size too big, had a tendency of dragging under the heels of his boots until they shredded and resembled frayed tassels. While he never went into the field without his working jacket and flannel shirt, that was not the case in the house, where Big Mac was free to wear his favorite baseball jersey without fear of getting it dirty.
“Muller?”. Applejack inquired in a cynical tone.
“Yyyup.” Big Mac shrugged, popping the cap off of his bottle of Muller Draft. “Caught Baritone placing these in the downstairs fridge, didn’t think we would notice or somethin’.” Big Mac didn't normally speak outside the farm. Many knew him by his phrase 'Yyyuuup!'. Any more then that was odd. And heck, a whole sentence was simply alien. But, between his sister and family, he had plenty to say.
“And after we offa’d him some of ah left-over cider’?”. Applejack recoiled, insulted upon hearing that the callous stallion would choose cheap draft beer over her own alcoholic cider. “Ah’m not sure if that there stallion is just dumb or owns ah hefty pair ah steel balls.” She uncapped her bottle with little effort.
“Maybe ah little bit ah both, if ya ask me.” Big Mac suggested, clanging his bottle of draft beer with his sisters. “It’ll be an hour before we go insider fur sum good eatin’, so maybe ah could have a word with you in the meantime.”
“What’s Granny Smith cookin’?”.
“That’s not what ah want to talk to ya about, AJ.” Big Mac narrowed his eyes. “I told you to take the day off, not half ah day, ah full day.” He took a long sip from his bottle before he gave it the stink-eye. Not bad, but not anything good either. The finish was boring and the faint aroma matched the overall taste.
“Ya’ll would have been stuck in that there field if ah didn’t show up.”
“And we could ah just sent Burnt Oak and Lucky Clover to get the Persuader’s keys, you needed the rest, this ain’t zap Apple Season, ya know. I admire yer diligence. We all do. But you need to leave some work for other ponies, too.”
“Ah know, Big Mac.” Winona clambered onto Applejacks lap, her tail wagging to and thro. “Ah’ve been puttin’ in a lot ah hours for the spring harvest and, believe it er’ not, Zap Apple season is right around the corner-“
“But it’s not Zap Apple season right now, is it? You’ve heard Granny Smith, It could be anywhere from next week tah next month. Them Timberwolves are fluky beasts, even Granny Smith has trouble knowin’ when they’ll start howlin’ next. And until then, ah want you to settle down. 70 hour weeks aren’t good for nopony, no matta how strong they are. Back when ah was half-bed-ridden because of that damn girdle an you worked them fields till you near-lost yer damn mind, you were still workin’ 50 hour weeks. Ah don’t even want to think about what would ah happened if you were workin’ 70!”.
“Well, them Ponies who burnt out probably never heard of a mare like me, now have they? Ah’ve gotten better, heck, I’ve gotten stronger too!”. She pulled up her shirt to reveal her naval, which now sported a well-maintained and intimidating six-pack. Pulling her shirt down, she laughed as she pet Winona. Big Mac let his sister have her laugh and chose to wait until she finished.
“Mahm an’ Pop crashed too, ya know.” Applejack stopped laughing, staring at her beer as her smile receded. “They were strong Ponies, hay, you remember them here an’ there. They were still mortal, they had their limits. Ah remember when Pop worked eighty hour weeks for ah brief stint. An tah be fair, Pop was as strong as ah giant with the power of an Alicorn, but those hours, week afta week. He… he hit the wall.”
He turned to his little sister, his face frazzled and tired. “It was ah livin’ hell, AJ. Seein’ Pop, collapsin’ inta that there dirt.” Big Mac turned away, gazing into the sunset, all hints of his positive demeanor drained. “I neva’ thought for one second I would see that stallion cry… at ten years old, ah could literally feel the weight of the world fall on mah shoulda’s. And it all could ah been avoided if he ended his shift ah little bit earliah. Slept in ah little bit more. I dunno.” He turned to his sister again, his determination giving him his voice. “Ah don’t want that happenin’ durin’ Zap Apple Season, ya hear!? Ah don’t want tah see ya hit the wall! You’re a strong mare, AJ! Who else would know more about that then yer olda brother? But-“He placed his hand on his sister’s shoulder. “Yer still a mortal, AJ. Mahm and Pop live on inside ya, they live on inside me. They too were still mortal. They had limits. I just want ya ta realize that before…” he paused. “…You… you find yerself unable to pick yerself up off the ground…”
For once, the stubborn mare did not retort with brash spit of the tongue. Applejack, for all her honesty and hard-hardheaded determination, remained silent for an unsettling long time.
“Ah understand.” Applejack finally whispered, her gaze turning to her boots dangling over the dusty ground. Winona’s usual happy-go-lucky demeanor too had vanished. Twilight told the cowmare that dogs could sense when others were feeling down. Those black eyes of hers certainly justified her brother’s words.
Turning to her brother, Applejack sighed.
“Ah know.” She started. “Mahm an’ Dad were the strongest Ponies ah knew. I swear to Celestia that they could go fifteen rounds with King Sombra if they was still alave. Ah was very young when they hit that wall you speak of, their bodah’s just giving up when their minds wanted to finish…” Applejack peered at the orchard. “The neva endin’ work of ah farm.” She sighed. “It’s not Zap Apple Season, yer right. Ah’ve been workin’ too hard. Sometimes ah just don’t know how much ah can handle until I wake up the next mornin’, sometime’s fightin’ to get outta bed. Get mah duds on…” She placed her glove over her brothers hand, her green eyes shuddered as the last of Celestia’s sun glistened off her face. “Ah forget that ah need to have a line in the sand!”. She laughed, or rather, forced a laugh. Big Mac could have sworn he saw her bottom lip quiver for a brief moment as she turned to the sunset. “Yes… “She breathed. “Tomorrow looks like ah good day for ah day off, doesn’t it?”.
“Yyyyyup.” Big Mac chirped, wrapping his free arm around his little sister, who brushed her muzzle against her brother’s neck. The two watched as the sun finally went down, illuminating the headlights of a few sparse vehicles that trekked across the streets of ponyville as the towns streetlamps burst to life, one by one.
It must have been ten minutes before the two said anything else.
“Ah Suppose it’s not too much tah ask for breakfast in bed?”. Applejack inquired, her face lightening up with a smirk.
“Yyyyyup.” Big Mac replied. “If yer sorry keester can make it yerself that is. Breakfast ain’t as hard to make as buckin’ ah tree.”
“Sounds like ah plan!”. Applejack finished, drinking half the bottle in one gulp before recoiling in disgust. “Blech! I can barely taste anythin’ from that!”. She then poured the remainder into the open mouth of Winona, who barked happily and lapped up the foamy mess.
“Awww, AJ!”. Big Mac snarled. “That’s no way to treat Winona!”.
“Ah know!”. She replied. “This here is some mighty expensive an overrated water!”. Big Mac laughed, finishing his bottle with all the strength he could muster. Winona herself didn’t seem too pleased either.
“To AJ’s day-off!”. The two siblings said in unison, clanging their empty beer bottles together as Winona gave out a faint hiccup.
= = = = = = = = = =
With a gut full of fantastic grub and eyelids heavier than a minotaur on Nightmare Night after a binge of candy and root beer, it was no wonder Applejack fell asleep not a second after her head hit the pillow of her comfortable bed.
Unconsciously pulling the covers over her shoulders, Applejack snored softly as the moonlight cascaded into her room through a crack in her bedroom blinds, illuminating Winona, who’s curled up form rose and fell with every breath. It was a picture-perfect scene that nothing could ruin.
Nothing.
Nothing could ruin thi-
“THE TIMBERWOLVES ARE A-HOWLIN’!!”.
-Well okay, maybe that.
“THE TIMBERWOLVES ARE A-HOWLIN’!!”.
Sputtering to cruel consciousness, Applejack tilted her head above the covers of her bed and blinked several times, her eyelids just as heavy as they were when she went to bed, if not heavier. Rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands, Applejack swung her legs out of bed and pressed her feet against the cold floor. Tightening her night-gown to her body, the cowmare quickly pulled open the blinds of her room, exposing herself to the brisk air. The howling of wolves echoed through the night-sky. Followed by the insistent banging and clanging of pots and pans strapped to Granny Smith. Who, despite her age, still sprinted like she was half a century younger, jumping over hay-bales and vaulting fences as she made a mad-dash across the grassy fields behind the Apple Family homestead.
“Warbgarblewaaa…?”. Came the mangled voice of Apple Cobbler as she dragged her feet out of the spare room, her blonde mane a mess and her night-gown limp on her Indian-yellow coat. Applejack took that as a ‘What’s going on?’.
“THE ZAP APPLE’S ARE COMIN’!!” Roared Granny Smith as she tore up the grass in her mad-sprint. “THE ZAP APPLE’S ARE COMIN’!!”
Turning to Apple Cobbler, who now stumbled into her cousins room, Applejack brought a smirk to her face as Apple Bloom shuffled into the room while the Timberwolves let out a final crescendo of howls into the night. Grinning ear to ear, Applejack pushed her head out the window with her little sister following suit.
“YAY!!” The two sisters shouted in unison as Winona finally stirred herself from her dream of chasing every car in Ponyville and began howling too. “The Zap Apple’s are comin’!”
“That’s what ah jus’ said!” Granny Smith snapped from the field. “Jeez Louise, I swear you youngin’s are goin’ deaf!”
“It’s all gud, Granny Smith!” Apple Bloom squealed in delight, bouncing up and down. “Ah’m gunna go get them jars ready!” A heavy muffled yawn could be heard through the opposite wall of Applejacks room.
“An’ Ah’m gunna restock the fuel reserves, we’ll be doin’ ah lot a drivin to an’ thro!” Big Mac’s muffled voice could be heard through the wall.
“An’ Ah’m gonna start preppin’ the zap apple tree buckets fer the harvest!” Applejack announced, pulling on her cowpony boots without a hassle in the world. “They haven’t been cleaned in Celestia knows how long!”
“Annnahhmgunnabud.” Apple Cobbler garbled, scratching her flank before turning back to her room with the weight of two elephants balanced on her eyelids. She didn’t get far, as Apple Bloom took hold of her hand and happily dragged her away from her room and down the hall to the staircase. Applejack followed suit, her heavy heels clunking against the hardwood floor. She didn’t even see Big Mac until she rounded the bend and ran into his chest nose first.
“An just what do you think yer’ doin’, Missy?”. Big Mac asked curtly, moving himself forward.
“An just what do ya think YER doin’, Mister?”. Applejack retorted. “It’s Zap Apple Season!”.
“And it’s also yer day-off.” Big Mac Deadpanned, holding his sister by the arms and forcing her back into her room.
“Oh.” Applejack muttered, finally remembering what was going to happen today. “Well, ah can help mahself with some breakfast-“Big Mac hoisted his sister into the air as she let out a small yelp of surprise just before he gently placed her back onto her bed.
“Yer not goin’ anywhere, and that’s final.” Big Mac states firmly, taking hold of his sisters boot by the instep and yanked it off her foot.
“But you said ah can help mahself to-“Her other boot followed suit and was placed on the floor next to its twin. “-Some good eaten on mah dayoff!”
“Yes.” Big Mac said. “Ah did say that. But first-“He pulled the covers over his sisters squirming body. “Get some well deserved rest.”
“What do you mean, rest?”. Applejack inquired, her tone cold as ice.
“Sleep in.” Big Mac deadpanned, before turning to the window and shutting the blinds. “Trust me, waking up after a good ol’ fashioned sleep in can do yer body wonders.” The red stallion clicked his tongue, getting Winona’s attention as he stepped out of the room. “See you in the morning, sis. An ah don’t want to hear ya prancin’ aroun’ before seven o’ clock, ya hear!?”.
“But-But-“ Applejack stammered, pushing herself up. “The Zap Apples!”
“-Will be taken care of. We got farmhands now, remember?”. Big Mac finished for her. “Ah’ll train em’, turn em’ inta proper Apples by the time the day is over. Who knows, maybe we’ll double our profits this year!” Big Mac grabbed hold of the doorknob. “But as fer you, get some well-needed rest. Don’t chu worry none, Ah’ll make you ah proper breakfast in the mornin’. Maybe then we can plan what you can do fer the day. Goodnight, Applejack.” And with that, he closed the door to her room, submerging the mare in darkness.
“Pfft…” Applejack sputtered. “More like ‘good mornin’.” She huffed. “Fine, Ah’ll give sleepin’ in ah shot.” She remembered what Big Mac had said to her yesterday evening, and she wasn’t going back on her word. Now, was a day of rest. Even if she didn’t particularly like it.
Rolling onto her side, Applejack got comfortable, her eyelids growing heavy once more. “Who knows…” She yawned. “-Ah might just enjoy this…” closing her eyes, the mare instantly feel into a deep sleep.
= = = = = = = = = =
Shuffling her legs, Applejack’s ear flicked as she picked up the sounds of a truck revving to go somewhere outside. Opening her eyes, she pushed herself off her pillow as she smacked her lips and rubbed her eyes with her wrist.
The sun had risen long ago and judging by the light fading through her blinds, it was time for all of Ponyville to get crackin for the new day.
Stretching her arms and popping her shoulders, Applejack let out a final yawn and threw her legs out of her bed and stood up tall. Pulling back the blinds, she inadvertently blinded herself momentarily, stumbling back from the window in surprise. Opening her eyes, she was greeted by the sight of Celestia’s sun topping the tree line.
If that wasn’t a sign to wake up and start the day, then Applejack didn’t know what else would suffice.
Turning to her closet and swinging it open like there was no tomorrow while trusting that Big Mac decided to put off removing the stump from the field within view of her window, she pulled off her night-gown and laid it out on her dresser as she picked out her underwear before fighting her way into her clean jeans and red flannel shirt, ready to start her day off with a bang.
“Yes-siree!” Applejack Chirped as she pulled on her vest. “Big Mac was right once again!” The mare wasted no time pulling on her ankle-high socks and knee-high cowpony boots as she relished in the warm atmosphere. Pulling a scrunchie out of her dresser and fixing her ponytail (Not to mention her actual ponytail), Applejack brushed a few strands out of her eyes before topping her head with her Stetson hat.
Sleeping in really did do wonders! The farmmare felt more relaxed, strong and significantly less rough around the edges. “Ah should sleep in more often! To heck with wakin up at six, ah should wake up more often around-“her eyes grew wide as she turned to her clock. Her tone barely audible. "Seven.... thirty!?".
How could she have slept in so late!? Applejack thought maybe an extra twenty minutes on the clock wouldn’t hurt nopony, but an hour and a half!? That there was downright insane thinking! Just like teaching goldfish math, hitch-hiking at airport runways and commissioning the greatest minds of this generation to spend the remaining years of their lives to try and figure out how Pinkie Pies brain ticks! Utter madness, her family would say!
But Pinkie Pie probably wouldn’t mind, she hitched a ride off the wing of an F-35 once.
Turning to her alarm clock, Applejack facepalmed when she realized that she woke up instinctively at six all her life and hadn’t even bothered setting her alarm. Ever. Heck, she lost the manual after buying it and when she asked the store for help, they told her to read the manual, using a rather rude acronym.
To put it bluntly, Applejack thought planning a day off during a harvest required a lot more work than it really needed.
Stomping out of her room, Applejack bolted down the stairs with malicious intent. Big Mac was going to get one hay of a verbal lashing for letting his little sis’ sleep in so late!
Rounding the banister of the stairs and leaping four steps from the ground floor, she hit the ground running and stomped into the kitchen.
Where a breakfast consisting of cereal, Orangejacks (They don’t taste like oranges at all), a plate of sliced apples, waffles with copious doses of maple syrup and jam with a hefty helping of hash browns and a sizable mushroom, pepper and daffodil omelet oozing succulent cheese with a tall glass of the Apple families finest apple juice.
Applejack’s stomach grumbled in response.
“Feelin’ alright, sugar cube?”. Big Mac chirped sheepishly, entering the kitchen from the living room.
Applejack frowned. “Whats the big idea lettin’ me sleep in so late!?".
“Ah wake up half-an-hour after you-“
“Don’t bring up yer bad sleepin’ habits to justify yer hairbrained scheme! Do you know how much of the day I missed?”.
“Not a whole lot, sis.” Big Mac sighed, disapointed by his sisters determination to work. “I thought you were going to give this here day off a shot, heck, yer dressed up fer the fields right now.”
“-Ahm always dressed this way-“
“-Don’t chu have a pair of runnin’ shoes you could throw on?”. The response from AJ, or lack thereof, prompted a facepalm from the red stallion. “Ah’ll take that as a no. But perhaps you could explain to me what yer even plannin’ on doin’ today.” Applejack maintained her frown, her gaze staring out the window for a brief moment.”
“Ah don’t suppose that there meal is off limits, is it?”. Pointing at the breakfast platter produced a shake of the head from the stallion, who sighed once again.
“Look, AJ.” Big Mac started, taking a seat at the table with his sister. “Ah know taking ah break during ah harvest is… odd-“
“When there’s work to be done, yes siree, its weirder then Pinkie Pie.” Applejack replied, biting into her fruit and sinking her spoon into the bowl of cereal.
“-I was thinking, flaky, outlandish and abnormal, but that works.” Big Mac agreed. “But treat today like ah slow day on the farm. Like all the times you go on those adventures with yer friends.” Applejack nodded as she finished her cereal. All those ventures into the Everfree Forest, or those train rides to the Crystal Empire or even the odd trip to Appleloosa have all occurred on the slower days on the farm, where much of the Apple family kicked back for once. However, after the winter, it was time to kick into high gear for the spring and summer harvests. And Zap Apple season was no exception. With so many weeks of hard work under her belt, it was no wonder Applejack had trouble breaking out of her routine.
But. They have farm hands now. Which will make things a little bit easier on them but not on their wallets.
“Okay, Big Macintosh. That there sounds like ah plan.” Applejack chirped. “Ah wonder what Rainbow Dash is doin’ today, or if Twilight needs help reversin’ ah spell or hay, ah wonder if Rarity needs help with her dress makin’-“
Big Mac blinked several times, running his sisters words through his head several times.”Okay, you don’t need to go that far.” Big Mac suggested with a hint of worry. “Have fun, sis, there’s no need to give yerself ah lobotomy.”
“Oh thank goodness.” Applejack brushed her forehead with the back of her hand, relieved. Just as Applejack breathed out, the sound of vehicles approaching the farm pierced the uncomfortable atmosphere. “Are those the farmhands?”. Applejack jabbed her thumb out the kitchen window as a certain Mercedes crawled up the road. “Here bright an’ early! Well, for them anyway.”
“Yyyyyyup.” Big Mac said, before swiping a few of his sisters hash browns. “Ah called them mahself before you decided to wake up. Granny Smith has been jumping aroun’ in her bunneh suit, Apple Cobbler is refueling our trucks an’ AppleBloom is rearin’ to go to school early. Ah’ll drive her, o’course.”
“Aw, she’s such a clear-headed filly, so eager to go to school-“Applejack started.
“-Somethin’ about Cutie Mark Crusaders, Dungeon Defenders.” Big Mac muttered, invoking a blank stare from Applejack. “Ah… ah-ah don’t know either.” He shrugged, just as Applebloom stumbled into the kitchen in her school attire.
“An’ what will you do when ah’m at school, sis?”. Applebloom asked as she stumbled after her sister, who was making her way to the front door to greet her farmhands. Turning to the little filly, Applejack smirked.
“Ab-solute-ly nothin’!” Applejack laughed. “Ah just hope our farmhands are eager to work! Considerin’ how early they arrived fer the job!”
= = = = = = = = = =
“WHY the HELL did’ja call me at seven in the morning!?”. Baritone snapped as he stumbled out of his Mercedes, whose mane was as un-kept as his attitude. He clearly ran out of the house with soap still clinging to his coat.
How long would it take for him to realize his pants are on backwards. More importantly, how long will he realize he’s yelling at his boss for having the audacity to give him more hours?
Big Mac face palmed, his patience with the rambunctious stallion waning thin.
“Ah just figured ya’ll needed some more hours.” Big Mac responded curtly. “An ah would consider lowering yer voice and getting some semblance of manners, yer talkin’ to yer boss after all.” Other farmhands began to show up in droves, filling the impromptu parking lot near the farmstead.
Regardless, Baritone thought this over in his head. For two seconds. “You said we weren’t working for another two days. I stayed up late and woke up after a five hour nap, of course I’m grumpy!” Baritone snapped. “I don’t even know why I showed up! I should have just stayed in bed and told you to go drive on the railroad tracks!”
Applejack shrugged from the porch.
“Okay.” She responded, stepping down to the ground. “Go home.” This brought on a quizzical facial expression from her big brother. “Aw, shoot, go ahead an’ sleep the day away, partner!” Baritone nodded and smirked, climbing back into his Mercedes and slamming the door behind him. “-An’ don’t ever come back! Because if you drive on out past the gates, consider yerself fired!” Baritone dropped his keys, blinking several times before huffing and kicking open the door, muttering foul words under his breath. Big Mac sighed as Baritone shuffled over to the work shed to get his equipment. Turning to her brother, Applejack cupped him on the shoulder with her glove. Big Mac had to suppress the urge to yank them off her hands. “An’ that’s how ya wrangle the cows that don’t want ta conform.” She whispered to her brother as she tipped her Stetson at a grumpy Baritone, who bit his lip as he passed. Baritone was brash. But he wasn’t willing to go back home without a job. “So-“She leaned on her brothers shoulder. “You think ya need mah help today?”.
“Nnnnnope.” Big Mac replied, buttoning up his flannel shirt. “Apple Cobbler is gearin’ up the boys an’ girls fer the day. Ah say, you head on inside and watch those movies you’ve always wanted ta watch. Army of Darkness is a good one. Ah just got the boomstick edition fer mahself… buuuut....” He smirked. “Ah know it’s not yer cup a tea and it’ll make Rarity run fer the hills-“
“Run fer the hills?” Applejack beamed. “I’m all in!” Big Mac smiled.
“Then climb out of yer duds an’ settle down, ah’ll take care of Applebloom-“Applebloom clambered out of the house and down the steps in her casual overalls, an adorable shirt, matching denim skirt and stockings and polished buckled shoes clicking across the dirt as her bow bobbled with every step. “-Come on, Applebloom, climb into mah truck and buckle up, we’ll be headin’ off to school in just a minute-“ and then Big Mac’s 1500 rumbled to a stop in front of the Apples, with Apple Cobbler at the wheel.
“Sorry, Big Mac! Ah’m gonna need yer help this mornin’!” Apple Cobbler called out from behind the wheel. “Icy Drop thought he could take a shortcut through the orchard on his quad bike and now he’s stuck in ‘Big Ben’!”
“How the hell did he get up there!?”. Big Mac sputtered, receiving a nudge from Applejack for swearing in front of Applebloom. Although, what Icy Drop accomplished was nothing short of extraordinary, for ‘Big Ben’ was the biggest and tallest apple tree in the entire orchard.
“We’ll ask the dumb stallion when we haul him from the tree.” Apple Cobbler said, opening the passenger side door of the Chevy with her foot. “Come on in, the other guys need our help!” Big Mac sighed. Turning to Applejack, he narrowed his eyes.
“Say no more, Ah’m on the case!” Applejack Chirped. Big Mac didn't want the whole day playing out like this.
“Ah didn’t say nothing-“Big Mac Began as Applejack took Applebloom’s hand and turned to the barn. “AJ!!” Big Mac roared, stopping his sisters in their tracks. Realizing how loud he had yelled, Big Mac calmed himself down and chose his next choice of words and spoke as slowly and sternly as he could. “Applejack. Ah don’t want chu liftin’ a finger besides drivin’ Applebloom to school, ya hear?”.
“Ah understand-“
“Do you promise?”.
Applejack brought her hand to her chest.
“Cross my heart an’ hope to fly, stick ah cupcake in mah eye.” Applejack sang, although refusing to poke herself in the eye. Big Mac’s face still wore a sour expression. “Ah promise, Big Mac. Ah’ll drive Applebloom to school an’ perhaps see what mah friend’s are doin’ aroun’ Ponyville today before comin’ home to watch that movie ya recommended me. An nothin’ else. You have mah word as yer sister, Applejack. The element of honesty, after all.” And with that, Big Mac smiled.
“Alrighty then, have fun, the both of ya’ll.” Big Mac bid Farwell by throwing a set of keys to his sister. “Take Granny Smith’s ol' truck.” Applebloom cheered as Applejack smirked.
As Applejack climbed inside and instructed Applebloom to do the same, she ignited the ignition of the truck as Applebloom buckled in.
“Make sure ya hit the incline real fast, AJ!” Applebloom requested in her everlasting happy demeanor. “Ah want to see this baby fly!”
“Ah wouldn’t want to scratch the paint, now would ah?”. Applejack replied, shifting the truck into gear and lurching it forward. “Although, that would be kinda fun.”
It was her day off, after all.
I mean, a little jump wouldn’t hurt nopony.
It’s not like anything else is going to happen today.
Author's Note
I've steam-rolled over this chapter and brought it up to standards thanks to Rokas. If you have time, give his stories a gander. :)
Anyway, a big shoutout to http://berlioz-ii.deviantart.com/ for inspiration, and while your there, give his car gallery a go. He has some of the best car illustrations I've ever seen. And thanks http://amostheartman.deviantart.com/ for the wonderful cover art that just so happens to fit my story :D
Don't forget to leave critique so I can improve on anything that is lacking, it means as much to me as praise.
Keep calm and pony on.
The small bump that now painfully throbbed from cowmare’s scalp was a grim reminder that Granny Smiths truck lacked the modern commodity of suspension that she took for granted.
“Wait till Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell hear you nearly busted yer head through the truck roof afta that there jump!” Applebloom chirped happily as she cradled her school bag, just as the aging wheels of the pickup reached the smooth pavement of the modern roadway that lead into Ponyville.
“Ah’m sure they are far too busy tah hear ‘bout the follies of ah farmer like me.” Applejack suggested, her cheeks flushing from her accident, running her glove over the course steering wheel with a hint of pride. The truck was a nostalgic cry from a simpler era, back when nary a single road was paved except the beautiful avenues in Canterlot and the backstreets of New Yoke. And to be fair, Granny Smith’s elegant Navy Blue Nord F-1, while clashing with the colors of the Apple Family, still fit in amongst the nearly timeless scenery of prairie grass, aging mailboxes and weathered fence’s that lined the road into town.
Ponyville was alive and kicking in the early morning hours of the day. As the pickup turned into the marketplace, Applejack caught the sight of merchants selling their wares, Cranky Doodle leading Matilda into a coffee shop while sporting a new wig (That didn’t fool anypony) and even Roseluck whining in horror as Derpy Hooves dropped her new flat screen monitor on the ground after she slipped on a banana peel.
Fed-Axe just wasn’t getting a break with Derpy on the pay-role.
Looking past Roselucks ruined television, it was an otherwise peaceful morning on the market today.
“-IF YOU DON’T MEWVE YEW’RE LORRY, MATE, I’LL GIVE YEW UH REASON TO SCRAP THAT TIN CAN UH YEWRS!!” Boomed a raspy voice with a heavy Astraeon accent.
“-I’M NOT’CHORE MATE, COMRADE!!” Roared another coarse voice, hindered by a thick Boarssian drawl.
…aaaand as usual, another peaceful morning in Ponyville.
The owner of the first raspy voice was Joey Getz, a lanky kangaroo who ran a peach orchard with his big brother and never left the house without his ten gallon hat. And Dmitri Mishka, a towering behemoth of a bear that must have taken pointers from Pinkie Pie at some point, as he somehow manages to fit his entire body inside of a truck cab intended for stallions not even half his size.
The two angry males that voiced for vocal supremacy took up their share of the road to the Ponyville railway station. Last week they were fighting over land. The week before that they were fighting about commercial espionage even though neither of them knew what the word “espionage” even meant.
And the week before that, they were fighting over road space again.
Applejack rolled her eyes, knowing how each verbal fight would begin and end with townsfolk intervening just so they could disperse a traffic jam. Despite being two hard-working farmers with families to feed and properties to maintain, they always found every waking moment of the day to lash out at each other for reasons that were lost to the cowmare.
Applejack sighed peacefully as the truck breached the relatively small commercial district of the town, leaving the two bozos alone to their bickering and finally finding familiar company on the road amongst light traffic as the aging pickup truck chugged along on its linear journey, climbing over a speed-bump to the Ponyville schoolhouse.
The sight of the building brought a smirk to Applejack’s face, who remembered her school days with fond nostalgia. Pulling up along a bright white picket fence, Applejack brought the truck to a halt at the end of the road as fillies and colts of all shapes, sizes and colors gathered in the school courtyard for a day of classes.
“Thanks fer the ride, Sis!” Applebloom chirped, hastily lifting her bag from between her legs and prying open the passenger side door and jumping out onto the dirt.
“No problem, Applebloom. Besides-“Applejack assured her little sister happily, turning off the engine and climbing out of the vehicle herself. “-Ah could do fer a good walk aroun’ town mah’self.” Turning to look at the courtyard upon hearing the school bell, Applejack caught sight of Cheerilee opening the doors to her students, taking a piece of signed paper from each filly and colt that passed through the doorway. “Hmmm…” Applejack rubbed her chin with her glove. “Just where in Equestria is Cheerilee bringin’ ya’ll to this week? If it’s another trip to Canterlot gardens-“
“Nah, none of that. That place went downhill after Discord got reformed and started that new talk-show of his.” Applebloom rolled her eyes as she shut the door of the Nord behind her and slung her backpack over her shoulder. “We’re all goin’ to Whitetail woods on Friday fer a campin’ trip! Ah talked it over with Big Mac and Granny Smith and they signed my permission slip!” The young filly beamed as she waved a piece of paper with Big Mac’s hastily written signature plastered on a dotted line.
“Well, that’s the first ah’ve heard of that. But, Whitetail woods ain’t no Everfree forest, so ah don’t see the problem in you goin’.” Applejack ran her hand through Appleblooms mane, bringing a giggle out of the filly. “Just no ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders, dungeon defending’ while yer out in the forest, ya’ hear?”
“Well ah know that, ah can’t bring mah laptop out into the woods. Cheerilee said somethin’ about ‘fully appreciatin’ the great outdoors.” She finished with a hint of bitterness in her tone, just as a familiar tune filled the air.
Classical music.
Prissy classical music.
No doubt emanating from the pearly white imported sports coupé that slowed to a crawl behind Applejacks truck. It’s small yet sleek design stood out just as much as it’s abnormally glossy paint job. It didn’t take long to identify the owner as Applejacks eyes noticed the three lozenge diamonds that adorned the back of the vehicle above each rear fender.
“Now Sweetie Belle, I will be spending the rest of the day working on a garment for Sapphire Shores’ new summer line-up, so If you need any help of any kind, please talk to Ms. Featherwing-“Rarity instructed as soon as she turned off the ignition, hastily pulling off her driving gloves as she stepped out of her car sporting her pristine working blouse, deep satin necktie, black mid-cut mini-skirt and matching wedge sandals. Her refined and carefully groomed mane coiled over her shoulders in deep-violet locks as she took a breath of a fresh air.
“Who is she, again?”
“My new secretary, dear. I introduced you to my employee’s last night.”
“I don’t like Ms. Featherwing, she smells like burning pinewood.” Sweetie Belle’s face held an exaggerated look of disgust as she hopped out of the car with a backpack slung over her shoulder. Applebloom greeted her friend with a wave and then joined their fellow students with permission slips in hand. “See you soon, Rarity! I’ll be at the crusader treehouse after school!”
“Have a good day, Sweetie Belle!” Rarity exclaimed, waving back to her little sister. “And if Scootaloo tries to persuade you and Applebloom to do jumps on her scooter again, show her my bill! Because the next replacement window will be on her parents tab!” The seamstress sighed and pulled off her driving glasses and tucked them into her purse before turning her attention to the cowmare. “Applejack, darling! How are you this fine morning?”
“Not too shabby, sugar cube.” Applejack responded with a tip of her Stetson hat as she leaned on her truck bed. “Its mah day off, an ah was just wondering what yer plans fer the day were. Ah made a promise to mah big brother that ah’ll take it easy today.”
“Hmmm, and you chose today of all days to take your day off.” Rarity shook her head solemnly. “Such a shame, too.”
“What do you mean by that?” Applejack inquired, pushing off from her truck.
“Simple. Fluttershy is tending to a bear cub that got his head stuck in a mailbox –Namely, her own– while Twilight brought Spikey-Wikey to a rather garish convention in Fillydelphia and Pinkie Pie is in Manehatten receiving an award from the chief of police for her acts of bravery.” And with that, Rarity produced a copy of the New Yoke times.
PARTY ANIMAL DRIVES DANGEROUS FRAUDSTER INSANE WITH INSISTENT SINGING
The headline was accompanied by a photograph of a hysterical stallion being carried away in a straight-jacket. Applejack gulped as Rarity peered around the newspaper.
“I’m rather busy with my own workload, and as for Rainbow Dash, she could be anywhere.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “Why, she could even be-“
Catching an approaching dustcloud out of the corner of her eye, Rarity turned her attention to the road. Soaring over foliage and cutting corners on a dime, Rainbow Dashes wings kicked up dust like a bat out of hell with a speeding motorcycle in hot pursuit.
“-COMING RIGHT THIS WAY!!” the seamstress shrieked as she dropped the newspaper and shielded herself from the impending dust cloud that pelted her outfit and prized Alpha-Romero Montrotale with dust. Rarity’s shrieks of dust-induced terror fell on deaf ears as a speeding motorcycle zoomed by, the tailwind whipping up the seamstress’ violet hair and nearly knocking Applejacks Stetson off her head. The rider of the motorcycle in question was obscured by a black-visor helmet and wrinkled leather-jacket that clung to the rider’s body as she braced the high-speed winds that tore at her tanned breeches.
Losing her pursuer as soon as she flew over a fence, Rainbow Dash craned her neck around, just in time to see Scootaloo pass the ‘pain in her flank’ on a scooter. Grinning broadly and turning around on a dime, the Wonderbolt made a swift pass over the young filly as the motorcyclist shoved her foot into the ground and burned her rear tire into the dirt, pulling off a perfect one-eighty and roared down the road, the headlight of her Equilia RSV4 brushing at Rainbow Dashes tail.
“GO RAINBOW DASH, GO!!” Scootaloo shouted as she flapped her wings while she clung to the handle bars of her scooter. The cyan Pegasus saluted the young filly as she soared above and buzzed the roof of the school before she corkscrewed around the bell tower to appease her number one fan. Already dizzy from her maneuver, Rainbow Dash miscalculated the distance between thin air and the flag pole, slamming into it and bending the surprisingly flexible metal pole to the ground for a brief moment of clarity.
“Uh oh.” Rainbow Dash whimpered, not a second before the flag pole righted itself, whipping the mare in an arc and slamming her into the dirt with unimaginable force, leaving a perfect pegasus-shaped crater in the dirt as the flag-pole wobbled to and fro. Jumping off her scooter as she neared the school, Scootaloo fell to her knees and peered into the crater.
“That. Was. AWESOME!!” Scootaloo cheered happily at Rainbow Dash’s crumpled body. Cringing in pain, Rainbow Dash did her best to smile at her adoring fan.
As well at an unimpressed police officer who dismounted her motorcycle with an emotionless black visor glaring daggers into the hapless mares soul. Approaching the crater in fierce over-knee Frye harness boots that fell like thunder falls with every step, the motorcyclist spread her black onyx wings as she brought her black talon-like gloves to her helmet, grasping it at both sides and pulling it off her head, revealing a black onyx beak, ghost white feathers, black wispy bangs and striking blue eyes of a determined predator.
“I’ve told you once and I’ve told you before, Rainbow Dash! If you go over one-eighty on main street again, I’m going to bind your wings!” the Griffon scowled, placing her helmet at her hip as Rarity redid her mane with her emergency pruning-kit. “And let’s not forget disturbing the peace, reckless flying, trespassing, frightening Daisy into unconsciousness and pulling off two illegal U-turns!” the griffon emphasized her point by holding up two sharp talons.
The police officer in question was Deputy Iris Ironhid, Ponyville’s newest resident following the reformation of the Ponyville Police Department. Iris was part of an exchange program between the Griffon Kingdom and the Pony Empire to encourage cross-border cooperation in tackling crime abroad.
Or at least, that’s what Applejack could comprehend. She knew it went further then that but the cowmare wasn’t a particularly political pony. What she did know was that Iris was just as fast on her motorcycle as she was in the air. However, Iris was absentmindedly compliant when it came to the law. This frustrated Rainbow Dash to no end, as one of the few fliers that offered her a challenge was as by-the-book as Twilight Sparkle.
“Come on, Iris!” Rainbow Dash spat as she climbed out of her hole and brushed herself off. “Where else am I going to bone up on my navigational skills?” Rainbow puffed her chest out and blew a few loose strands of hair out of her face. “Besides, Daisy faints at the sight of her own shadow at least once a day!”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo snapped up to the authority figure as she stomped over to her idol’s side. “How else is she supposed to become an even greater flier-!?”
“Scootaloo. First. Ms. Dash can fly freely outside of city limits as far and as fast as her heart desires. Second.” Iris crouched down low to Scootaloo’s eye-level. “Go to school, sport. You’re already five minutes late.” Scootaloo turned her gaze to Rainbow Dash.
“Go on in, Scoots. I’ll deal with sour-hide, here!” Rainbow Dash winked at the young filly, who nodded happily and leapt up the steps to the school-house.
“Really, Rainbow Dash, that is most unbecoming of you!” Rarity spoke with an accusing voice as a brush enveloped in a magical aura ran through her mane. “Pelting my beloved Romero with dirt is one thing, but Scootaloo looks up to you! Quite frankly, with the way you act, it’s no wonder Scootaloo is such a daredevil!” Rainbow Dash pouted as Iris handed the mare a ticket, whose eyes inflated to the size of saucers at first glance of the paper in hand.
“That’s a lot of zeros…” Rainbow Dash muttered as her wings fell slack at her sides.
“Rarity is right, sugercube.” Applejack put in. “Scootaloo see’s yah as her hero, and Ah’ve seen her ride just as recklessly through Ponyville on that dang scooter of hers as you do flyin’ over our heads!” she placed a reassuring hand on her friends shoulder. “Take it easy, before both of ya’ll end up in the hospital.” She narrowed her eyes. “Again.”
“I concur.” Iris nodded as she placed her helmet on her head. “And remember, off duty, I’m all up for a good race just as any other pony as long as it is in designated flying zones. But if you go through town like that again, I’ll make this ticket right here look like pocket-change in comparison to what I could have in store for you.” Securing her visor, Iris mounted her motorcycle and revved the engine. “Take care now!” And with that, Iris was off in a cloud of dust.
Smothering Rarity’s sandals with dirt in the process.
“EEEEK!!” Rarity squealed, jumping on the spot. “DIRT!!” Kicking and flailing her feet free of the ferocious intruder, Rarity sighed bitterly at her ruined manicure. “Well, I suppose a second rub-down won’t hurt. Besides-“Rarity’s hair, once dirty and frail moments ago, curled around the seamstresses hand as she pushed her locks to her opposite shoulder. “-I could utilize all the stress-relief I can get my nimble little hands on for the monumental job I need to do today.” Turning to her friends, Rarity offered her hand. “Care to join me, darlings? Spending the morning at the spa alone is not nearly as much-“Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and scrunched up her snout as she flipped the ticket in hand to the unicorn, who shriveled back in shock. “Oh… oh my, that… that is a lot of zeros…”
“Ah think Rainbow Dash can spend the day with me.” Applejack jabbed her thumb into her vest, nodding to the Pegasus. “Ah’ve got somethin’ in mind that won’t cost us nothin’.” This helped raise Rainbow Dashes spirits, who could use the brief escapism to take her mind off the ticket.
“Oh well, maybe next time.” Rarity shrugged. “Even though the two of you could do for a marvelous mud bath. Toodles!”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Why does Rarity like mud bathes so much when she hates dirt with a passion?” Rainbow Dash murmured from her seat as the old truck climbed a steep hill outside of Ponyville.
“Hay if ah know, sugar cube.” Applejack replied with a shrug as she clutched the wheel. “It’s one of them great mysteries in life.” Rarity was a good friend to the two athletic mares, but her constant and almost methodical grooming habits sometimes got on both of their nerves. Granted, the few times they have gone together to the spa with their friends have been quite relieving and enjoyable experiences. However, you can only take so many relaxing bathes before you resemble a raisin at the end of the day.
“Thanks for taking me in for the day, AJ.” Rainbow Dash sighed thankfully, silently lamenting over her now empty wallet. The journey to the police station to fight a murderous speeding ticket with the dusty wallet of truth and the paper-forms of destiny wasn’t exactly a victory Rainbow Dash wanted to boast about anytime in the near future.“It’ll take a few months of hard work on the weather team and maybe a show with the Wonderbolts or two before I can even consider going to the spa for a protein shake.”
“Ah still don’t know why you even bother drinkin’ that lousy dreck when ya’ll have the entire food pyramid just ripe fer the takin’ at yer local market.” Applejack rolled her eyes as the old truck hobbled past the Apple family gates, kicking up a flurry of dust in its wake.
“Hey, I’d rather have it in one go, especially if it tastes like chocolate.” Rainbow Dash smirked, resting her chin on her palm as she watched the scenery go by in a hasty blur. “Gives me more time to pull off some moves and more time snoozin’ later.” The cyan Pegasus lurched forward as the truck ground to a halt in front of the chicken coop, finishing with Applejack fiddling with the clutch before turning off the ignition. “Speaking of which, you got anything I can snack on?”
“Right ahead of you, partner!” Applejack chirped as she clambered out of the truck and walked straight into a handful of her farmhands by the front porch.
“Hey AJ, I delivered the apples we picked yesterday to the train station, just in time for a one way express to the Canterlot markets. And I only dinged a fence and two trees this time!”
“I got those beavers out of the barn just like Big Mac said. They got some mouths on them, I’ll say.”
“Hey boss, the zapple apple leaves just arrived, in no time at all the third sign is supposed to come ‘round. Granny Smith said it’ll be a ‘Doozy fer the eyes’.”
“Hey Applejack! I found the walky-talky I lost yesterday! It was in this hole out in the wheat fields. I must have fallen in and forgotten about it when we started picking the trees last afternoon!”
“Not to be a bother, Applejack, and I know it’s your day off an all, but our entire stock of copper wiring went missing from the storeroom.”
The cowmare steadied her Stetson as she waded her way through her workforce. “Good job Golden Grape! Ah told you the Persuader was just as easy to handle as yer’ confounded muscle car! Excellent job handlin’ them varmints Romana, just be sure tah tell Big Mac ‘bout that! Yessiree Icy Drop! I saw em’ drivin’ up the road, an’ nice to see you got out of that tree! We didn’t have ah lot of wirin’ an we sure aren’t in need of it fer awhile, but keep looking aroun’ for em’, Apple Cobbler! And Caramel…!” Applejack paused, raising her finger. “Caramel… ah… Caramel…” She wrinkled her snout as she tried to find the right words. “… nice job fallin’ in that there hole again! I knew I could count on you!” Applejack finished her friendly praise with a simple thumb up of approval.
“Aw, shucks, AJ! It’s the least I could do for the farm!” Caramel smiled blissfully as he rubbed the back of his neck. Forcing her way as politely as she could through the crowd and tipping her stetson hat once or twice, she finally found the porch steps and clambered into the house, disappearing from sight as soon as the flimsy mosquito mesh door bounced back into its frame behind her.
After the farmhands dispersed and Caramel forgot what he was supposed to be doing, it wasn’t long before Rainbow Dash figured out she would need to play the waiting game.
An astounding twenty-three seconds later, Rainbow Dash climbed out of the old truck and dug her converse shoes into the dirt, not wanting to waste away from boredom for another second. “Come on, AJ!” Rainbow chortled, flexing her wings. “If I wanted to wait in your truck for the day, I’d drive it to the nearest traffic jam!” Not a second after her forced chuckle, Rainbows ears twitched as she heard heavy footfalls approaching before Applejack appeared from the other side of the mesh door, holding a large box and two long objects in her hands. Rainbow smiled, her excitement soaring as she envisioned a long day spent shooting cans with a big-bore rifle. “Aaaww Sweet! You’re finally going to let me shoot the bi-“Rainbow’s excitement left her voice as quickly as it came when Applejack pushed her way through the mosquito mesh door with a tackle box and two very exciting fishing rods in her hands. Ears falling flat and her brow now resembling a ruler, Rainbow Dash voiced her next word with utmost enthusiasm. “…Seriously?”
“Ah knew you’d love it, RD!” Applejack beamed as she held the vile objects up high as she hopped down the steps. Rainbow Dash sighed with a hint of anger, bringing her palm to her face.
“Not to burst your bubble, AJ, but I’d rather count sand in Rarities boutique then wait for a bunch of fish to nibble on a worm.” Any other pony would see that there was no hint of pleasure to be gained fishing with this particular rainbow-maned mare, but Applejack was no quitter.
“Aww, cheer up, Rainbow. It’s not like it’s ah death sentence, Ah’ve gone ahead an’ packed a couple of yer favorite daffodil sandwiches and yer emergency energy drinks!” This had the desired effect as it helped lift Rainbow Dashes spirit, if not only by a few notches.
“Well, I guess I could go for that, but honestly-“ Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her head. “I was hoping we could go and shoot some of your guns you’ve kept locked up and-“Rainbow Dash said no more and shrunk back as Applejack frowned bitterly, glaring at the cyan Pegasus for a brief moment before flashing her eyes to the garage.
“Now RD, ah’ve told you once and ah’ve told you before, guns. Are. NOT. Toys!” Applejack huffed, stepping away from the porch and towards the garage not far away from the homestead. Rainbow Dash turned her gaze to her feet, sighing. “Now come on! Ain’t layin’ back an’ relaxin’ far better off than making a racket and scarin’ away the wildlife? Besides!” Applejack grinned as she turned her gaze to the garage with sheer bliss on her freckled face. “Ah’ve got an idea. Ya’ll comfortable with some off-roadin’, sugar-cube?” Turning to look at the vintage pickup, Rainbow Dash could barely contain her excitement.
“Applejack…” Rainbow Dash sighed. “There is a reason why Pinkie Pie is the element of laughter, you know.” On cue, one of the hubcaps loosened and fell to the ground with a clatter. Applejack muffled a laugh.
“Not that ol’ thing, Rainbow! Ah’ve got somethin’ than can take more than ah speed bump in the garage!” Applejack laughed, nodding in the direction of the tin garage in the distance. Shrugging, Rainbow Dash shoved her hands into her pockets and followed the cowmare with a slight spring in her step.
Approaching the unimpressive structure, Applejack fiddled with the lock before swinging the double doors open, revealing an imposing vehicle inside.
Deep orange and intimidating, the vehicle sat on an elevated chassis riding high on mudking wheels twice the size of most road-worthy trucks on the interstate. It was enough for Rainbow Dash to spread her wings in shock.
“Wow!” Rainbow Dash gasped, stepping forward as a grin was plastered her muzzle from ear to ear. Applejack couldn’t help but join her, running her gloved hand over the chrome grill guards and high-beams before stroking the trim all the way to the roll cage with utmost pride, Applejack placed her foot on the first step leading into the driver’s seat.
“Most families pass down memories, uniforms, heirlooms from eras long past-“Applejack started, holding her head high. “Mah Pop gave me all those things. But, he passed down a member of the family. This.” Placing her hand on the roof-mounted floodlights for emphasis, the cowmare pried open the door and seated herself inside, placing her fishing gear in the back seat. “Mah Pop’s Meep Honcho! Rolled off the assembly lahn in eighty-two! And mah Pop wanted to keep it lookin’ bran’ new ever since! When it wasn’t plastered in mud, that is!” Rainbow Dash folded her arms, approaching the passenger side door.
“Heck, all the crap my dad passed down to me was his busted gym equipment!” Flapping her wings, the pegasus fluttered into the passenger seat through the window and maneuvered herself into a comfortable position. “He did all this?” Rainbow Dash motioned to the dash board and roll cage bracing the roof.
“Darn tootin’!” Applejack smirked with glee, producing a car key from her pocket. “Before Big Mac an ah were born, this was his foal.” The cowmare laughed as she buckled her seat belt. “Granny Smith said he spent just as much time tunin’ this ride then he did bucking trees!” Applejacks mood faltered as she ran her hand down the steering wheel. “Until… after he and Ma dahd ah… well, we all left the poor thing to gather dust. But as soon as ah was old enough to draw ah spent my time learnin’ the tricks of the trade of this here beast. Ah didn’t want somethin’ that meant so much to mah Pa just to rust away!” Turning the ignition and cranking the Meep into gear. “What do you say we take our time by takin’ the long way to the fishin’ hole? Ah know some great hills, shoot, we can make this foal jump fifty feet!”
“Applejack, stop.” Rainbow Dash uttered as she resisted the urge to facepalm. “It’s a Meep, not a fighter jet! Heck, It’s not like this thing can-“
“Did ah mention mah Pa modified the engine a tad bit?” Applejack interrupted with a smirk as the Meep crawled out of the garage. Rainbow Dash closed her mouth and leaned back into her seat.
“Fine.” She huffed, narrowing her eyes. “But I’ll believe it when I see it.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
With a fine selection of apples tucked under his little arms, Mr. Hopper bounced to the very edge of the dirt road on the outskirts of the apple orchard. Looking left and then looking right, the Bunny smiled contently before hopping across the dirt to the other side. By the time he reached the middle of the road, it was already too late.
Turning to look at the dirt hill overshadowing his small figure, Mr. Hopper felt the ground beneath his paws rumble and pebbles bounce across the dirt as his small ears picked up the faint sounds of screaming and the monstrous roar of an engine.
And then his little heart stopped as a monstrous vehicle soared over the hill, heading straight for him with malicious intent.
His life flashing before his little eyes, Mr. Hopper gulped and tearfully crossed himself with shaky paws as he silently prayed his death would be swift and painless. But alas, death never came. Slamming into the dirt close enough to brush the bunny’s ears with phenomenal speed, the massive wheels growled as they showered Mr. Hopper with two feet of filthy earth as it screamed down the road with speed the little bunny’s brain could barely comprehend. Silently thanking the almighty Fluttershy for her infinite mercy, Mr. Hopper finally fainted from shock.
“Ah told ya partner! We got a good fifty feet from that there jump!” Applejack yelped as she swung the steering wheel to the side, lurching her truck into the corner and barreling down a mucky side-road out of the property. Ripping into the mud with such force it splashed the roll bars with mire, Rainbow Dash cheered as she braced her body for every landing and every hard turn.
“I TAKE IT BACK!!” Rainbow Dash squealed in delight as she pressed her hands into the dashboard as the Meep Honcho tore the earth under its heavy wheels into a fine shower of mud before soaring over another incline at speeds no other truck should muster. Whatever Applejacks father had done to the engine was background noise to the cyan pegasus, but what she did understand was velocity, the adrenaline pumping through her veins and the wonderful feeling in the pit of her stomach that occurred whenever she ripped through the air faster than a bullet. “THIS IS THE BEST-“Applejack pushed the pedal to the floor and shifted her clutch into the highest gear. “-TRUCK-“Veering down another path, the cowmare shifted her Stetson and gripped the steering wheel with iron grips as the road led to a line of trees. “-EVER!!” Rainbow Dash roared in delight, pumping clenched fists into the roof of the truck as it ramped over another incline, soaring over jagged pine trees like a bird before landing with a crash. Popping the clutch back and pulling her foot off the gas, Applejack drifted through the soft mud and slammed her shoulder into the door as the truck came to a complete halt in front of a pond.
“Hooo-wee!” Applejack breathed out as she patted the steering wheel and turned off the ignition. “Well, how did you find that to yer likin’, sugar cube?”
“It. Was.” Rainbow Dash smiled in delight. “AWESOME!!”
“Yer bleeding down the lip there, Dash, you sure yer fine n’ dandy?”
“I bit my tongue something fierce on that last jump but I don’t care!” Rainbow Dash, unbuckling her seatbelt and sliding down her seat. “I never thought I could be so light-headed so close to the ground!” Wiping her brow with her wrist, Rainbow Dash reached into the back seat and pulled out her beloved energy drink, hastily pulling off the cap. “So… was fishing usually this exciting with your pop?”
“I don’t remember much, ah was only four er’ five at the tahm, sugar cube.” Applejack winked before turning to the pond and sighing. “Ah do remember how beautiful it was. A lil’ piece of heaven, just a little nook a stones-throw from the property." Or at least she thought she was, the mud soaking her beloved truck made it nearly impossible to see out her passenger side window. Sighing happily, she kicked open the door and clambered out of the truck, sinking her heels into the soft dirt. Rainbow Dash did the same as she rounded the side of the truck to gaze at the pond.
A gnarly and overgrown dock sat on the edge of the pond, covered in discarded cigarette buds and empty cans of beer.
“Yup. Beautiful.” Rainbow Dash deadpanned sarcastically. Applejack rolled her eyes as she pulled her fishing gear out of the truck and stomped out to the sad old structure. “I especially love how the termite holes pull the whole layer of cigarette buds together.”
“Well, it was a lot better on the eyes when a was a youngin’… and a lot bigger too.” The cowmare shook her head. “Shucks, it may not look the part-“Applejack addressed the Pegasus as she planted her boot firmly on the first plank. “-But it still holds up. Come on now, all we have tah do is clean er’ up a bit.
Rainbow Dash did her part by kicking a can into the pond.
“Shoot, not like that, RD!” Applejack barked sternly, placing her fishing gear at the edge of the dock before carefully picking up the cans and placing them in a pile.
“Come on, it’s the perfect resting place for a can of Babs Red Ribbon. Not even I’m cheap enough to drink that junk!” Rainbow Dash huffed and blew a few strands of hair out of her face. Peering over the hills, the cyan mare caught a glimpse of smoke rising out of a smoke stack. “A few of those Boarssian colts on that bears farm probably came over here on their break to guzzle cheap beer or something.”
“Heck, not even they would stoop down to drink that.” Applejack countered. Granted, they did have a tendency to over-drink more so then a normal pony should. Ever since Dmitri set up his potato fields a few years ago, it wasn’t a rare occurrence for his farmhands to stumble into the Apple Family orchards drunk as skunks, before Granny Smith threatened to shoot at the next drunk who wandered into her property, that is. “They usually drink their tasteless vodka.” Applejack huffed. “Maybe some foals came by and had a lil’ party.”
“Well…“Rainbow Dash shrugged before sitting down on the dock. “This isn’t exactly your property, AJ. Heck, maybe some of Joey’s colts came on down here last night.” Applejack groaned, knowing all too well that may be the case. The persistent Kangaroo was like a teenage bully still in high school and riding high on testosterone, a massive ego and an enormous chip on his shoulder. Occasionally, the Apples would overhear foul curse-words thrown from the Kangaroos homestead or even the occasional barrage of fireworks after an altercation between both working farmhands and bosses.
Swallowing hard, Applejack readied her rod and found herself a good spot on the dock. She needed to clear her mind of all the stress and hard work of the last few weeks for a good hour at the least. Today has turned out to be a good day for her and by golly she hoped it would end on a relaxing note. “Take up a fishing reel, Dash, and relax. This is gonna be like any other day on one of them confounded clouds.” Pulling bait out of the battered tackle box, Applejack readied her hook with the proper bait before casting it lazily into the pond. “Now all we have to do is play the waiting game.” The cowmare rested her back against a jutting post as she took in the scenery. “Yes sirree, what better time to watch the clouds go on by then fishin’ with yer friends, hey Dash?” the cyan mare burped in response, chucking her empty energy drink bottle over her shoulder and into a pile of beer cans. “That’s the spirit, partner!”
Rainbow Dash wasn’t sharing the optimism.
“Uhhh… no offense AJ, but considering we just drove through a forest at speeds suited for a race track and the fact I just guzzled two energy drinks, I’d rather fish… my way…” Applejack raised her brow but continued to gaze upon the pond without turning to her cyan friend.
“Well, that’s a-okay with me. What is yer way of fishin’, if it’s so much to ask-?“Applejack inquired, right before a sweaty tank top was thrown through the air and smothered her face.
“Thanks for understanding!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she pulled off her shoes and kicked off her athletic shorts before she dived into the pond in a manner that could have earned her a respective eight out of ten at the Equestrian Games.
“Fer land’s sake! Rainbow! Yer scarin’ all the fish away!” Applejack snapped, hastily pulling the article of clothing off of her face.
“You mean these fish?” Rainbow Dash smirked cynically as she breached the surface holding a couple of abnormally large bass in her hands. “I might as well get the fishing over and done with so I can pop a few zee’s on a cloud-“Rainbow Dash’s head jerked to the side as one of the fish slapped her in the face with his tail and flopped gracefully into the water. Rubbing her sore cheek, the cyan pegasus let out a laugh. “Well! At least I got one of-“Followed by the other fish slapping her on the other cheek and escaping. “Oh it. Is. ON!!” Disappearing under the water in a temperamental huff, Rainbow Dash followed her prey to the far side of the pond, leaving Applejack to fish in peace.
And the cowmare couldn’t have had it any other way.
Stretching her legs and laying back on her forearms, Applejack left the fishing rod between her thighs and watched the clouds go by.
“Yyyup.” Applejack chirped. “This really is the life. A few good years of hard work needs a few more days of laying back.” She sighed. “No adventurin’, no kickin’ the butts of foul creatures…” She shook her head. “None ah that. Just ah day with ah good reel an' good company… just like pa used to spend his days…” Applejack shut her eyes, letting the occasional chirp of nearby birds dull her into a sleep.
A rather short lived one, unfortunately.
Applejack lazily opened her eyes as her right ear flicked. Craning her neck over her shoulder, she began to pick up the sound of chattering in the distance. They were distant and nearly muted, but Applejack could tell there was a group of them. What they were saying was a mystery to her, but what she did know was that they didn’t sound like anypony she knew. And judging by the distance between her, the voices were coming from the very edge of the apple orchard.
“Trespassers.” Applejack muttered coldly, pushing herself back onto her feet and brought her reel in. Looking over her shoulder to the Pegasus taking a dive into the deepest spot in the pond, Applejack shook her head and turned to the forest.
With her fishing road in hand, the cowmare stepped off the dock and began to claw her way through the overgrown bushes to the sound of the voices. Traveling deeper into the underbrush that coiled around her boots like tentacles, Applejack steadied her Stetson and dug her gloved hand into the bark of a limber tree as she peered into the distance.
A weathered fence greeted her vision, with discarded beer cans and cigarette buds littering the grass.
As well as the unnerving scrawl of graffiti etched into the woodwork.
Clenching her free hand, Applejack frowned and gritted her teeth. “Stinkin’ varmints!” She muttered under her breathe. “If ah catch em doing anythin’ to any of mah tree’s ah’ll kick their flanks into the next city!” Noticing that the cigarette buds were still smoldering, she hastily stamped them out before climbing over the fence and entered a row of apple trees.
“-Did you see that bear flip his rocker? I’ve never seen something so big run that fast!” a smug and clear voice broke through the trees, bringing the stealthy cowmare to a halt. She crouched low to the ground under the bushes in response. “Heck, all we did was kick over that stack of paint cans and he was throwin’ those bottles our way like we just punched his dog!”
“Well, we were a good mile or so into his property.” Another voice spoke clearly nearby, his demeanor rather stoic and firm, hinting at the voice belonging to an older stallion. “He sure as hay didn’t miss that beer we swiped from one of those parked beaters in his driveway.” The voice laughed before sputtering into a coughing fit. “Ugh, whoever owned that scrapheap had a crap taste in beer, this goes down like acid!” Applejack let out a soft cry of pain as a half-empty can of beer soared through the air and struck her on the head. Muffling her voice with the rough leather of her glove, Applejack peered around large apple tree before finally catching a glimpse of the trespassers.
Three male Pegasi dressed in jeans and jackets stood in the clearing, lazily dragging on cigarettes with cans of beer in hand. Two appeared to be in their mid twenties while a third, a much shorter pegasis was further off, his face hidden by a hood pulled over his head. Pulling back, Applejack sat against the hard oak, hidden from view as the rabble continued.
“The kid is sure holding his own after downing that six-pack!” One of the older stallions praised, finishing with a drag of his cigarette. Chuckling in response, the smaller pegasus shrugged, hobbling over to the tree Applejack was crouching behind. Flattening against the base of the tree trunk, Applejack dug her fingers into the dirt and gritted her teeth. They were trespassers and thieves, vandals even. But they were not criminals that deserve the flank whoopin’ a certain bear or kangaroo would have dished out. Applejack nodded to herself, choosing to wait for the perfect opportunity to show herself if they decide to go further into her property.
“Fer petes’ sake, this is mah day off fer cryin’ out loud.” Applejack whispered to herself as the young stallion stopped at the base of the tree trunk.
“You are damn right, I can hold my own!” The smaller pegasus blurted out, his voice gnarly and forced, almost as if he was trying to sound tough. “But even a beast like me needs to empty the tanks!”
What followed was best described as... well, Applejack had trouble thinking straight for the next few seconds as a putrid stench burned her nostrils and a sickly warm liquid attacked the base of the tree and pooled around her gloved hand. Biting her lip fiercely as her brow furrowed and her pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks from rage, Applejack shot to her feet. Throwing all decency and any benefit of the doubt to the wind, Applejack raised her moist hand, whipped around the tree, and socked the stallion between the eyes. Crying out in pain, the pegasus’ body flew into his friends, knocking them down like bowling pins and sending spray cans and cigarettes left and right.
“YA’LL BETTER SKEDDADLE BEFORE AH SHOVE MAH SIZE NINE BOOTS UP YER REAR ENDS YA LITTLE PISSPOTS!!” Applejack roared, her fists clenched, body trembling and her face a deep red from sheer unadulterated rage. There were only a few things the cowmare had no tolerance for, and one of them was the desecration of her own apple trees. And these poor saps just committed the worst offense possible, using an apple tree as a urinal.
And also have the sheer audacity to spray her as well
In response, the three stallions cried out and took to the skies, shedding their ill-gotten gains as they tore through the heavens in sheer terror. The smaller pegasi blubbered and gasped from his now tender snout, struggling to zip up his fly as he spread his deep grey wings and hobbled through the air like a burst dirigible.
Sneering at the two other stallions that soared out of sight, Applejack focused on the smaller pegasus, the one whose bodily fluids stained her glove. Taking a deep breathe and focusing on his pathetic flying skills, Applejack squeezed her fishing rod in anticipation. Taking a step back and lining up her sites, Applejack cast her lure into the sky without hesitation. If she wasn’t going to catch a fish today, she sure as Tartarus was going to catch a trespasser!
“An where do you think yer goin’? BUSTER!!?” Applejack snapped, just as the fishing lure found its target.
One of the Pegasus’ ears.
“YEE-HAAW!!” Applejack cheered triumphantly as her lure found its mark. Her anger subsiding, the cowmare grasped her fishing rod and dug her heels into the dirt as her reel spun like mad. Smirking at the sight of her fishing line coming to an abrupt end, Applejack clamored aloud. “YER REACHIN’ THE END OF THE LINE YA NO-GOOD STINKIN’ VARMINT-“ Applejack’s eyes clenched shut as tears beaded down her freckled cheeks moments after her teeth bit down furiously on her tongue and lip as the fishing rod pulled her off her feet and through the clearing. Snapping her eyes open in surprise, Applejack cried out as her body was pulled through the orchard like a toy. Desperately kicking her legs to right herself as she was dragged across the forest floor, Applejack peered up at her catch, who was screaming in sheer agony as he desperately tried to undo the lure from his ear and flapping his wings to get out of the Apple Family Orchard alive.
“-SWEET CELESTIA, YER A STRONG FELLA!!” Applejack gasped loudly, blood streaking down her snout from her mouth wound. Even in her current state, the farmmare couldn’t help but admire the strong will of this otherwise inconspicuous pegasus. Looking down at her now tattered jeans and dirty boots as they dragged over the dirt and underbrush, Applejack struggled to gain her footing, occasionally catching up in a dead sprint before tripping and clattering to the hard ground to be dragged further. Snapping her gaze to her current predicament, Applejack braced herself as the fence quickly approached, smashing through the weather planks of wood like a wrecking ball. “YEE-HAW, GIT ALONG LIL’ DOGGIE!!” Applejack felt like she was on top of the world, just like during all those adventures she had with her friends.
This initial excitement didn’t last very long, however. Shaking her hair loose of wood chips, Applejack groaned as her ribs throbbed from the collision. Knowing very well that wouldn’t be the first collision of her ride, Applejack grabbed the reel and began to pull in her catch. Howling in pain, the grey pegasus flapped his wings harder and faster, finally lifting the cowmare off the treacherous ground and into the air.
Where a forest of very imposing trees soon greeted her.
Ripping through the greenery and frail branches like a knife through butter, Applejack tucked her stetson hat under her armpit and continued to turn the reel.
“-Hey Applejack, guess how many bass I caught-“ Rainbow Dash beamed moments before crying out as Applejack knocked her off the dock and sent her prized catch of all twenty-six bass in every direction. Kicking at the surface of the water as Rainbow Dash cartwheeled across the pond like a screaming ragdoll before she slammed into the end of a hollow log with a satisfying THUMP, Applejack turned a regretful eye back at her friend as she desperately kicked her legs inside the log, trapped.
“SORRY, SUGARCUBE!!” Applejack shouted apologetically before her thigh bounced off a stump and rebounded off a dead trunk and into the path of a row of oak trees. Swinging her battered body to the side, Applejack glided through the tree’s without a hitch, just as her belly connected with another stump. Gulping and struggling to keep her stomach contents to herself, the cowmare continued to pull in the rouge pegasus with all her might, bringing herself closer and closer to the stallion with every painful and resistant turn.
It wasn’t until she was two-thirds of the way there did the cowmare realize she wasn’t pulling herself in, she was pulling her catch down with her.
Breaking through another fence that connected with her shoulder, Applejacks vision was smothered by a layer of mud that drenched her ripped vest and soaked her fur to the bone. Gritting her teeth as her fingernails dug painfully into her own palm from the grip on the fishing rod, Applejack was closing in on her catch.
Five feet.
Applejack skidding over the hood of a parked car, setting off the alarm.
Three feet.
The pegasus finally gave up trying to pry the lure out of his ear and instead opted to flapping his arms in vain, hopping to use any momentum he could muster to break free from his captor as she broke through a locked gate with her rump, kicking her legs into the ground to leap over various unimpressed cattle.
One foot.
Glancing out of the side of his hood, the pegasus tried to kick the cowmare away, which only served to be a great handle for her.
“GOTCHA YA, YOU SPASTIC LIL’ GALOOT!!” Applejack cheered as she grappled the pegasus around the waist.
Just as a jutting pole struck the cowmare between the legs.
Gasping for air as her head jerked back, Applejack released her catch and tumbled to the ground, landing in a sticky patch of mud in a pigpen.
Short of breathe, the pegasus choked back tears as he beat his tired wings and lifted his body over the farmland. “I’M FREE!!” He shrieked as the fishing line and rod dropped below him, the lure still firmly dug into his bloodied ear. “I’M FREE!! I’M-“His head jerked back as the fully unreeled fishing rod snagged around a sign, bringing him to a direct halt and sending him careening to the ground. “-SCREWED!!”
Pushing herself up from the mud and swallowing a dinner-sized portion of vomit, Applejack shook her head and, after a short bout of desperately trying to remember which glove was stained with urine, rubbed her eyes clear of gunk with her good glove. Catching a quick glimpse of her catch falling through the roof of a chicken coop, she Snickered aloud. Applejack placed her now muddy Stetson hat atop her messy mane and quickly marched across the muck that squished and sucked at her feet with every step, her now waterlogged cowfilly boots doing very little to protect her legs from the elements.
“YOU HAVE AH MIGHTY LOT OH EXPLAININ’ T’ DO, PARTNER!!” Applejack bellowed as she limped from her painful collision with the pole that would have rendered most stallions a blubbering mess in the fetal position.
Her gender didn’t help matters any differently, that blow to the cowmares nether regions still hurt like a mother.
Brushing her arms in a futile attempt to cleanse the muck off her shirt and ruined vest while trying to take her mind off the growing pain in her crotch. Applejack Cracked her knuckles as she stomped out of the pigpen and over a dry road to the chickencoop, being mindful of the chickens that ran amok as she entered the clearing. The pegasus croaked and cried as he crawled out of the mangled remains of the chickens once pristine home. “WHAT MAKES YA’LL THINK YOU CAN JUST WANDER INTAH MAH ORCHARD AND USE IT AS AN OUTHOUSE!!?” Applejack roared relentlessly, grabbing the pegasus by the scruff of his jacket. “-AN THE NERVE T’ RUIN MAH GOOD GLOVES!!” The furious mare then throttled the bubbling pegasus, who tried in vain to defend himself. “WHAT DO YOU HAFTA SAY FER YERSELF, MISTER!!?” The only response the cowmare got was a muffled cry. Scowling, Applejack pulled off his hood and took hold of his hair, hoisting him to eye-level. “LOOK ME IN THE AYE WHEN YA SPEAK…-“Applejack choked on her words as she studied the face of the pegasus. “...Tah…” Croaking, Applejack released the pegasus and stepped back from his crumpled, whimpering body.
She saw this pegasus in Cloudsdale on the day Rainbow Dash pulled off her second sonic rainboom. He was amongst a group of jocks who teased Rainbow Dash before she pulled off her stunt. Her gaze falling to his pants that sported three footballs on each flank, Applejack gasped. His black charcoal mane partially hiding his puffy pink eyes and battered nose as he cradled his mangled left ear, the pegasus whimpered as he shut his eyes, not wanting to look at the cowmare any longer.
He must be younger then Applejack herself.
“Heavens to Betsy, how… how old are you?” Applejack inquired in shock. The pegasus did not respond, squeezing his ear in an attempt to stop the blood loss. “Shoot… what were you doin’ with them stallions? They must have been in their late twenties…” Applejack breathed deeply, lamenting over her wild ride. She should have just scared them off. Heck, she should have just shouted for them to leave her property before she even saw them.
And yet her curiosity got the better of her. And rage soon followed.
Applejack just attacked a pegasus who probably wasn’t even out of high-school yet. He wasn’t a good-for-nothing vandal or a beer-guzzling thug, he was just a foal. A boisterous, scrawny, dumber then a sack-of-hammers foal who found himself amongst the wrong crowd of stallions. A crowd of stallions who didn’t even offer him a hand when he was under attack from a furious land-owner.
Applejack felt the lump in her throat grow. She no longer felt utmost anger, she felt pity. Pity for a young colt whose ‘friends’ have dragged him into a life of petty crime.
“Ahm…” Applejack choked. “Ahm... so… mighty sorry… Ah… Ah thought you were just ah…” Applejack said no more, realizing it was a moot point. Looking up at her ruined fishing rod that dangled from the sign above them, Applejacks eyes went wide.
The sign bore a red flag nailed to the weather planks, bearing a crossed hammer and sickle.
Turning to look at the structure at the far side of the field, Applejack caught the sight of a massive bear roaring in his native tongue to various well-built ponies, griffons and even a minotaur or two.
This was Dmitri’s potato farm, who was mighty riled up over the theft on his property not too long ago. Arming themselves with scythes, pitchforks, shovels, sickles, hammers and even a rifle or two, the farmhands stampeded across the field to the two ponies, shouting in Boarssian what Applejack could only believe were foul swear-words.
“Run.” Applejack grunted, glaring at the pitiful form of the pegasus. Looking up at her with pleading eyes, the colt cried out as Applejack grabbed the lure, prying it loose from his bloodied ear. “Did you hear me!?” Run! Skedaddle!” Applejack pulled the colt to his feet. “COME ON NOW, GIT!!” Applejack tapped him forcefully on the butt with her foot, sending him stumbling forward. “I’m givin’ yer sorry flank a chance! Git on out of here! And don’t’chu EVER come back! YA HEAR!!?” Nodding spastically, the pegasus took flight, soaring over the treeline and into the horizon as Applejack caught a rouge wiff of her soiled glove “AN' FER CELESTIA'S SAKE!! DRINK SOME MORE WATER!!” catching her breathe, Applejack flexed her hands and closed her eyes before breathing deeply. Snapping her eyes open, she turned to face Dmitri and his men.
Only to be poked in the eye by the protruding barrel of a Mosin-Nagant.
The owner of the weapon was shouting violently in Boarssian as Applejack pushed the barrel out of her face, just as Dmitri approached with a massive wood-cutting axe in his paws. Sporting long sideburns and wearing a muscle shirt that looked ready to burst at the seams around his massive gut and enormous shoulders, Dmitri stomped ahead of his heavily armed men with a furious expression on his face.
“Applefeelly! Vot is meaning of this!?” Dmitri demanded, flexing his biceps as he glared down at the cowmare. Applejack scowled, standing her ground and ignoring the childish name the massive bear chose to stick with when regarding her.
“Ah had a confrontation with one ah them colts that snagged some of yer beer, Dmitri.” Applejack stated firmly. “They came t’ mah land and left one heck of a mess, but most of em’ flew off. The last fella was just a dumb foal and dragged me here, and ah let him go.”
“You let him go!?” Dmitri snapped, stomping forward angrily, pushing the owner of the rifle out of the way. “He and friends were trespassers! Theeves! If ve treated them like foals, vot vould stop them from doing so again? They vent to your orchard not more than ten minutes later!”
“Ah know what they did, Partner! And ah know the two that took to the heavens were a bunch ah punks! But the youngin’ back there was just a dumb colt younger then ah am! And ah probably scared him fer life! That poor colt has suffered enough, he doesn’t need more rowdy farmers tah kick his teeth in an break his legs!”
“HE STOLE FROM ME!!”
“And he pissed on mah trees! Let it go! It was just ah case of cheap beer! He’s not some hardened thug or ah career criminal! He’s just a foal not even out ah hah-school! Applejack’s temper began to rise as she flexed her own biceps. “He’s hah-tailed it. An’ judgin’ by the pain ah inflicted on him, most likely fer good! End of discussion-“
“NYET!!” The Bear’s roar peppered Applejacks already dirty face with a thin layer of saliva, but she stood her ground.
“End. Of discussion!” Applejack frowned furiously. The two almost butted their heads together as they glared into each others eyes for what felt like an eternity. Grunting finally, Dmitri raised his axe and swung it to the ground, sinking into the dirt not more than six inches away from Applejacks frazzled tail. His farmhands dispersed, Dmitri brushed off the cowmare.
“Git lost, Applefeelly!” He ordered angrily. “I have cleaning up to do!”
Applejack nodded curtly as the farmhands began to round up the loose chickens, turning on her heel and heading back to the pond. Making a mental note to buy a new fishing rod later next week.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“You broke his chicken coop?” Rainbow Dash asked curiously, rubbing at her left eye with a damp cloth.
“Well, technically, the strong fella broke it.” Applejack corrected her cyan friend, drying last of her soaking mane with a towel as she stepped out of the bathroom following a long shower. Her outfit now in the wash, Applejack pulled on a pair of shorts and a Star-Trot T-shirt before stepping out into the hallway barefoot, her muddy boots deposited at the front door for a good cleaning the next day.
Gazing out the hallway window to watch the sun dip over the horizon, the cowmare sighed. The day went by very quick following her little adventure into Dmitri’s farm, and so far, she hasn’t heard a word regarding the badly injured foal she just sent soaring for the hills. Big Mac was understandably upset by the idea they would ever have trespassers that far into their orchard. Having sent farmhands to pick up the mess they left behind, there was not much left of the day to do much else but help with the Zap Apple preparation. Rainbow Dash even chipped in too, even with her new black eye following the collision with Applejack.
“There’s no need to fret about what you did or did not do, AJ.” Rainbow Dash assured her friend. “What’s done is done. Heck, I would have broken that colts nose if he even came close to peein’ on me.” She chortled. “Besides, that bear needed a new chicken coop anyway."
“He didn’t really mean tah, sure, he had all intentions tah’do the deed on mah tree, but me?” Applejack shook her head. “Shoot, I let mah temper get the better of me.”
“If it makes you feel any better, Score is repeating his second year of grade twelve, so, he’s technically a young adult.” Rainbow Dash shrugged as the two made their way down the stairs.
“No, that doesn’t make me feel any better, Sugarcube.” Applejack sighed. “He was a scrawny lil’ fella, he had strong wings be didn’t even put up much uvah fight.” Stepping onto the landing and into the living room, Big Mac and Apple Cobbler were still chatting at the table.
And it wasn’t about her run-in with the vandals either.
“-And I’m tellin’ you, Big Mac, I sent our colts’n’fillies left and right, we still haven’t found that missing copper wiring.” Apple Cobbler groused, pounding the table with her fist. “It’s not even that hard to miss! It’s a wheel of the stuff the size of a truck tire!” Big Mac twiddled his thumbs, opening his mouth to speak. “I’ve checked there myself, personally. There is not a single place on this farm or property I have not looked myself. The colts under my command who could fly even looked in the heavens. No dice.” She stood up from her seat forcefully. “Face it, somepony besides those punks on the edge of the orchard stole it, whether it be some shmuck from town or even our own crew, meaning we’ll be set back several hundred bits. If not more.”
“I didn’t want to think of it as ah possibility, but dang it-“Big Mac uttered. “-Yer right.” Turning to his little sister, he smirked, if not slightly. “I assume yer ready fer the next day, AJ?”
“More ready than I’ve ever been, Big Mac.” Applejack stood proudly. “Had ah good day today, even if it did end on ah sour note.” Ah’ll be sure tah work hard tomorrow.”
“And ah’ll be helpin’ ya’ll along the way.” Big Mac smiled. “Granny Smith spent the day sorting the jars, tomorrows gonna be a hassle for all of us, the next sign is sure to be on its way.” Nodding in agreement, Applejacks stomach began to growl. Laughing it off, the cowmare made her way to the dinner table. "Hay, maybe ya'll can even wrangle up whoever ran off with that copper wire!"
Long after a good meal and Rainbow Dash bid farewell with a stomach full of food, Applejack made her way to her room. Going through her evening ritual of brushing her teeth and laying back in bed with a good book, Applejack finally yawned and let Winona jump up onto the bed with her, coaling her tail around Applejacks foot.
But even when she turned off her light, and the rest of the Apple Family drifted off into sleep when the moon took the suns rightful place in the sky, Applejack had trouble sleeping.
She continued to think about the pegasus she badly hurt today. What happened to his older friends? The ones who were by his side that day in Cloudsdale? Where did he go to treat his injuries? What did his mother think happened to him? All these thoughts bounced around the troubled cowmares head. She told herself it wasn’t like she knew what he was, she just assumed he was a gruff trespasser who needed a good throttling.
A lot of good that did him, leaving the poor colt mentally and physically scared.
Applejack sighed deeply, rolling onto her side as Winona herself drifted off into sleep and the open window swayed in the wind.
“Ah need a clear head.” Applejack whispered to herself. “Ah’ll be working mah flank off tomorrow, that’s fer sure.” She yawned. “Whats done… is done…” Applejack repeated to herself, closing her eyes. “-An' tomorrow is gonna be another day.” Yawning, she rubbed her muzzle into her pillow, finally drifting off to sleep. “-Ah can… and will do better…”
Applejack, finally asleep and tucked into her comfy bed, relaxed.
Moments before a massive pair of bolt cutters clamped around the padlock to the front gate of the farm.
Author's Note
Sooo... here it is. And by golly am I proud of it.
Sorry for the long wait, but after life got me down with responsibilities it's nice to finally get back to this.
As for the car names, they are going to be "Equestrified" for the most part. Guns will not follow-suit unless they directly address a human country or name, just so I don't have to spend fifteen minutes thinking up a stupid pun for a gun or two.
Toodles, expect more to follow! This ain't dead, I tell's yah'!
