Heart of Scales

Heart of Scales

Turn 13: Camaraderie

The sun had completely set, leaving the street lamps the responsibility of lighting the town after it dipped below the horizon. Never before had the darkness of the sky brought Spike back to the night Fashion Show as it did now, as he stood in front of the wooden double doors of town hall. He had one hoof on the handle, ready enter.

He tried to keep his talk with Applejack out of his mind. Something inside told him that he hadn't exactly said the right things to her. That gave him the feeling that he wouldn't have the right things to say to Rarity either. What could he do about it, really? It had been too long since he had even spoken with her. Although he had a basic idea, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear from her, about how she was doing, what she was going to do now. Most of, and at the same time, least of all, hearing about what she thought about “Spike”.

Spike pushed on the wood of the door, a lot gently than he had originally planned to do. It wasn't unlocked so it slid open. He hadn't pushed on it with enough force to make it open even halfway. It was a light nudge, enough to let him see a bit of what was inside through a small gap, and to let Rarity know the door had been opened with the creaking sound it made when it was moved.

There were many tables long and round, covered in cloths of gradations of solar colors. Everything from the chairs to the balconies made it look like smaller miniature version of the Great Galloping Gala Ballroom. Rarity had gone an extra mile and added her own touch of theme to the designs, touches Spike recognized from all his time making dresses with her. Sunflowers were one of those themes along with curtains that swirled like Princess Celestia's colorful mane and tail.

Spike entered to take a closer look, shutting the door behind him, stepping across the red carpeted floor to Rarity, who was on a ladder, hanging ribbons on the ceiling borders with magic, nonetheless. She hadn't noticed him enter, concentrating solely on what she was doing so that she didn't make a mistake. Taking a brief, but closer, look at his surroundings, Spike realized that it would have taken a long time to have done all this work, even if she had started in the morning. He watched the ribbons float around their target before finally attaching themselves firmly on the wall. Spike began to relax from the tension of watching the ribbon on the brink of being hung, but he wasn't given the chance to. The ribbon fell off again as Rarity continued to try and fit it back on.

Spike, unable to watch and let her be any longer, grabbed a ladder on the other side of the room, the side Rarity had already put ribbons up, pushed it right next to hers and climbed up to her level. He was extremely close to her now, closer than he had ever been to her since he returned to Ponyville, but he didn't have time to think any of it now. With a good look into her narrowed eyes focused on the ribbon he could tell she was taking it too far with her magic, her glowing horn flickering occasionally.

Without much thought, Spike put his hoof on Rarity's own that was holding onto the top rung.

"Rarity," Spike called out to her in a voice firm enough to perhaps snap her out of her self induced trance.

Her eyes widened as Spike broke her magic. She stared blindly into space as she took time until the best of her vision returned. Until then she wasn't able to make out anything that was in front of her. She placed her own hoof over Spike's, as if touching this mysterious hoof would let her know who was up there with her. Spike couldn't help but make a look of distress as he didn’t feel Rarity's hoof on the back of his own as he had expected, but the rough surface of bandage wrapped around it.

"Ruby?" Rarity asked sounding slightly distant but recovering from her daze. "You're here, I see."

"Let's get you down." Spike managed to maintain a generally worried expression, unlike the one he had just forced himself out of after seeing Rarity's still bandaged arm.

Going down a few steps at a time, Spike helped Rarity down the ladder, side by side, while going down his own, which he found a little difficult given that he was a pony. When they finally reached the carpeted floor, Spike pulled up a few chairs near one of the circular tables, making sure Rarity took a seat before searching the room for something to drink.

Spike retrieved a few cups and a jug of water prepared at the catering tables beforehand. The ice inside the water jug had melted a long time ago, and the water was only slightly cool in the warm summer weather. Placing a glass into Rarity's good hoof, he then took a seat down to do what he had intended to a few moments ago, relax.

"Don't scare me like that." Spike took a drink from his cup while Rarity placed her cup on the table and tried to organize her slightly disordered hair. "I thought you were going to pass out. Just how much of this did you do with magic?" Spike looked around in amazement at his decorated surroundings.

"I didn't' have much of a choice." Rarity sounded tranquil as she rubbed her bandaged arm. "I had to if I was going to finish on time. I almost did too, if only I had been allowed to complete the ribbons."

That arm was a symbol of his guilt, but today he had to resist imploding on himself because of it.

"There should've been other ponies here to help," Spike said sounding annoyed. "I can't believe they let you do all this with that arm. You should've at least called somepony for some help."

"Everypony's doing their part for the day. They're all busy and I would never want to be a burden."

"You should've called me," Spike sighed regrettably.

Pointless, Spike felt it from the pit of his stomach. It was as if everything he had done today, the entire list, had been pointless. He had just stood around, watching other ponies work, doing nothing but travel town flicking his quill on marking off the list. There was nopony who actually needed his help when he got to them. He couldn't believe he'd actually convinced himself that he was doing anything important today.

He got out of his seat and headed over the pair of ladders that were still beside the unfinished ribbons. Rather than climb, he pulled himself up, two rungs at a time to the top to continue hanging the ribbons that Rarity had been straining herself over. He was used to manual work, and after a day like today, it was something he much needed to do.

"Ruby, you don't have to do this for me." Rarity tried to sound as if she had already recovered. However, a day's worth of heavy fatigue wasn't something she was able to hide so easily. "I can finish it myself, I feel better you see?

“I’m not taking any chances," Spike turned to Rarity to explain before he started. He picked up the ribbons and began fitting them onto the wall. "Not with that arm, and the fact that I saw you on the brink of fainting from overexerting yourself. I don't mind doing it for you. It's nice to distract myself with this kind of work."

“I calculated exactly how much magic I would be using, and how much I had in me. I just happened to fall short at the ribbons.”

“Then let me pick up where you left off. You’re spent, obviously.”

Rarity succumbed to Spike's persistence, staring quietly into her half empty cup of water. If she couldn't stop Spike from doing her work for her, she could at least tell him how it was done.

Rarity looked up and turned to Spike. "When you hang the ribbons, you must-"

Thump

Spike had skipped climbing down the bottom half of the ladder as he hopped off. He was back on the ground before Rarity could even begin explaining the process. She looked at Spike for a moment as he repositioned the ladder to the side. Then, she looked up and was even more surprised to see that he had finished a section of the ribbon perfectly, exceeding her expectations. It was better than what she had done with the previous few hangs, with her shaky magic, not that there was any clear visible difference to an average pony. Ruby really knew his stuff.

"Not a word, nothing work related. Rest." Spike was back on top of the ladder in no time, working on the next section. Rarity continued to stare at him in interest and was still feeling sorry after having learned that there was nothing she could do but keep him company as she let him do her work. "I've got this covered, so feel free to relax for the rest of the night."

"What a shame. I wanted you to see my work in it’s completion." Rarity watched Spike move the ladder once more. "I left the door open and everything."

"Not to underestimate you, but I'm amazed with the amount of work you’ve done," Spike said, sounding impressed. "You're great with your magic, but please be careful not to overuse it. I thought you were about to fall off the ladder when I came in and saw you. Are you trying to match Twilight?"

"It was the only way to make time. I didn't want to call anypony to help. It would actually be more of a hindrance than it would be help."

"That's what I don't understand," Spike said. "You have plenty of decorator friends that would be at your door in a heartbeat if you needed them. I don't see what could hurt about a little help."

"I haven't exactly been the most talkative these days," Rarity said uncomfortably. "I often find myself in subjects I'd rather not discuss. I'm sure you understand."

Of course, that was the reason she had been avoiding everypony. Rarity was no beginner when it came to isolating herself. It was something she was good at. Spike knew that all too well, and she had been doing so since her return to Ponyville.

Spike began to wonder if he would have been the same way if he had never been transformed, given a second chance, returned as a shamed baby dragon. He didn't blame Rarity for often locking herself in her home. There was no other way to hide from the world after it knew all too well what she did. Even if it knew, the world would still want to know more, ask questions with complete disregard of the questioned.

Spike couldn't help but to feel ashamed himself. This shame was not like Rarity's, shame for what happened at the Fashion Show that night. For him, it was the fact that he had escaped the reality of it all together. He had been given a way out and he had chosen to take it, unlike Rarity, who had nowhere to dodge as she hid from the ponies around her. It made him sick. It made him want to tell the town who he was and direct all the blame to himself, draw a giant target on his chest and scream for everypony to throw what they had for him because Rarity was suffering.

Rarity had rights, the freedom to choose, something Spike thought that he didn't have, until this afternoon. Rarity had the right to choose to accept his feelings or not. Nothing was to keep her from choosing what she wanted for herself. It didn’t matter what fantasy anypony had in their heads, what they thought they saw, or how they wanted things to be. Spike had been no different than Applebloom. And in all this, he was in the middle of it all. He had painted the fantasy of him and Rarity and everypony misunderstood. He ran when he ruined it all, in one fatal stroke.

Spike regretted having realized it this late, that it was just something that was to remain just an idea, a wish.

For now, there was a familiar sense of duty, one that drove him to believe that he should at least shoulder some of the burden. That it was his responsibility to make sure Rarity had no reason to hide. His faults numbered more than the monster inside him did, and he was adding to his own list as time went by. Simply blaming his monster did not excuse him in the least bit, even though he rejected it as a part of himself. There were too many emotionally injured, too many for him to be concerned about his own pains. He must, for the greater good...

"The last thing I want is to find you unconscious on the floor because you overworked yourself, magic or for whatever other reason. Not wanting to talk to other ponies isn't worth the risk of endangering yourself from exhaustion." Spike remained on top of the ladder, pretending to still be working on the last ribbon, even though he had finished it already. He felt more comfortable talking to Rarity from on the ladder, for now. "You've been avoiding me too haven't you?"

"Now, Ruby, I don't understand why you would think that," Rarity replied. "To be honest, I was starting to believe that you were avoiding me too, but that's just fine. I see you're enjoying Ponyville quite a lot.  I’m glad you’ve settled in very nicely. I realize there's much to do here."

"You were hard to approach." Spike took his hooves off the ribbons, no longer feeling the need to display a reason to be up here. "I wanted to give you space because it felt like you needed that more than anything."

"You've probably heard everything from Twilight and the others, haven't you? They've told you about what I've done, what had happened. You wouldn't be feeling that way if you didn't know so much about me."

"I wouldn't be feeling that way if your friends didn't either. They were worried about you, so I couldn't just sit around without knowing. I thought I'd be able to help, but it turns out, it's something I wouldn't be welcome putting my hooves on."

"Ruby, why would you not be welcome to help me?" Rarity asked.

"I'm just somepony you met on the train, aren't I? I mean, it's none of my business to begin with. Your dragon friend, how uncomfortable you must feel every time you discuss what happened."

"Don't forget that you were the first pony I've spoken to about it," Rarity said warmly. "You're different."

Spike received the warmness Rarity had been meaning to transfer to him. He took a deep breath as quietly as he could, enjoying the treatment as it ate away at his conscience simultaneously.

"Is it fine between you and Twilight?" Spike dismounted the ladder, deciding to put it away. "Everything's been talked out?"

"Twilight and I have spoken," Rarity replied. "I apologized, naturally she did too. We weren't able to discuss much more with each other after that. She tells me not to blame myself because she didn't blame me, that all we were able to do now was wait and see how things turn out.”

How things turn out? As in Spike returning?

"What about the others? Have you spoken to them as well?" He asked.

"It was the same with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, without the apologies. They wanted to lift my spirits, a very nice gesture. It would be a lie to say that it didn’t do anything, but not as much as they had hoped. They assured me that none of them held anything against me for my decisions in Canterlot."

"I guess there's nothing to say about Pinkie." Spike sat down at a table a moderate distance away from Rarity. Trying to keep as much as “Spike” out of this talk as possible, despite his thoughts.

"Pinkie is actually the most straightforward, as always." Rarity made an awkward smile, as if she remembered one of Pinkie's out-of-the-blue attempts to make a frowning Rarity smile against her will. "She doesn't beat around the bush. She tries to make me feel better in her own silly ways."

"And Applejack?"

"I've spoken the least with her. She only says hello, never bringing anything up. Only making small talk so it doesn't seem like she doesn't want to speak with me. I feel like she's cross with me, for how things turned out. Thank goodness for that."

"Why?" Spike asked, surprised at Rarity for welcoming Applejack's apparent cold treatment of her.

"It's quite refreshing to have somepony in all this who does not find it a demand to show sympathy for me. It's very honest of her. While I should be feeling bad about it, it's much better than to try and figure through those awkward talks with the others over and over again as they try to convince that there is nothing to be gloomy about. I know they care for me greatly, but it's just not exactly what I need now."

"I must be the same," Spike replied. "Not that I don't share the same feeling of concern as your friends, but if you need more than just all this empty talk. Don't hold back on asking me for anything else, that includes respecting your space. I'll understand."

Rarity looked at Spike for a moment. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was it disappointment? Did he fall short of her expectations with that answer? Or what it short of her desires?

"When I returned to Ponyville, practically everypony that knew me came knocking at my door, hoping to hear my story." Rarity smiled, keeping a quiet tone. "I'm amazed anypony still cared for what I might've had to say after they've passed around all sort of rumors and theories about me. Did they expect me to tell them at all? My version to be any more exciting than their own? I can't exactly say I've been too trusting when choosing who to talk to. It's been too difficult. I've run out of strength to deal with my own front door. Even with my closest friends, it's been hard to just be honest. I wonder if their opinions have changed after hearing the word going around. They're not completely lies, but they're all so exaggerated, villainizing, and so hard to explain. What would it be like, if I just started screaming my problems at everypony, as if they could do something about it, when it's already been resolved from their point of view, adding more to their worries, putting our friendship in strain. I can't do it... They all think I’m some unstable wreck on the inside and doing just that would only confirm their suspicions."

Spike felt horrible, hearing what Rarity had been going through, why she had been so reclusive. He recalled the train ride that night, the one returning him and Rarity to Ponyville. How he, Spike, had been sitting across her all along as she fell asleep in front of him. He remembered realizing that Rarity was braver that he was. How she returned on her own, and not because somepony left her tickets on the vanity in her hotel room.

"I'm sorry," Spike sighed unknowingly.

"Why, Ruby?" Rarity asked staring at him with a peculiar look of curiosity and concern, sounding tired after her long thread of speech.

Spike's eyes widened, realizing his mistake, catching himself just in time. "Sorry... that you've been having such a hard time, dealing with everything on your own. I guess this means I can't do anything but stay out of it after all."

Rarity didn't reply. Her eyes were towards the ribbons Spike had finished but weren't focused on anything.

"I'll be at Twilight's" Spike said, deciding to leave, fearing he might slip up and say something else that Rarity might catch. He was sure she did, just now, looking at him that way. He strided towards the door a swift pace, like the one he had in the train in Canterlot, when he had decided to give up his seat on the private car to Rarity.

Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Spike's gotten out of them what he wanted. Talking them into answering his questions, unknowingly. Rarity, was different. This wasn't a telling of the same story, a circulating story from a different perspective from each different pony. Rarity could tell him one of two things. What she's told everypony else, or what she really wanted to discuss. For the latter to take place she would need to tell it to somepony whom she wanted to discuss it with, in all specificity. That was what he needed, what he came here for. The answer to his past. But now he realized, Rarity would never tell Ruby, an outsider. So what was the point? As Ruby, this was out of his power.

“Spike” was the only one he was sure was qualified. The only one who had the power, to open the door to Rarity’s true feelings. However, this wasn’t a place for Spike. His return felt inevitable, but it was not going to be here in some desperate confession for a shot at a possibly fatal and negative reply. He wanted none of the shame from Canterlot to exist when he returned as Spike. He will use Ruby to at least make sure he returns with some form of admirability about him.

The room was fit to hold the town's Sun ceremony and celebration. It was wide, it echoed, was filled with chairs and tables, had a stage, balconies, and the dome ceiling was high overhead, but Rarity felt that it might have been too big for one pony.

"Wait, Ruby," Rarity called out to Spike after what seemed to be a long internal struggle.

Spike froze in front of the door, staring at the handles, close enough to make his eyes ache by doing so. He turned to see Rarity so far behind him. She was now out of her seat and standing at the end of the straight line of red carpet between her and Spike.

"You're my friend too, are you not? I mean, if it is just me feeling that way, then I understand, if you don't …"

For just a moment Spike looked to the ground, mouth slightly open, shocked at her question. It was so obvious, but it never crossed his mind that she would actually ask about so openly.

"...of course..." Spike replied in a very quiet, but serious tone. "Of course I'm your friend, Rarity. And you're mine."

"Then why would you believe that you wouldn't be good enough to talk to me?"

“I’m not Twilight or Applejack, or anypony that knows you like I should before you trust me with anything. You know that too, don’t you?”

"That night on the train," Rarity referenced, much to Spike's surprise. There was a hint of sincerity that Rarity was trying to pass as nonchalant.  "I can't tell you why I feel this way, but it was like I could tell you things and you wouldn't make much of it. And if you didn't, neither would I. It made me wish that the train ride had been longer. I wanted you to hear more. Somehow I felt much better getting off the train after riding with you than I would have coming back on my own."

It was strange to Spike, how similar they felt. Spike also had wished that the train had been longer. It was painful, but he wanted to continue listening. He wanted the train to stop only when they both knew everything about each other. Confessing to a sleeping Rarity, he wanted to tell her more too. Contrary to his expectations, it was easier for him, getting off of the train, having been with her than it ever would have been on his own. Spike remembered how Rarity introduced him to the others at the train station, as he was considering a part of the woods to be his home for a good while. He realized how crucial she was to his welfare here. She called him her good friend. Spike would have too, despite everything that had happened.

“The more I talk to Twilight and the others, the guiltier I feel.” Rarity continued. “There isn’t any of that when it’s you. You’re the only one...”

Spike looked at the door. Wondering if he would ever in a million years be able to use it to leave after hearing Rarity tell him all this. Along with the fact that she was willing to tell him more, it was as if a great emotional barrier separated him from the door handles. It was convincing, although there was still no sure way to determine if Rarity was being completely honest with him, but what was he to do?

Spike returned to sit down with Rarity, beginning to feel that it was too obvious that they were about to engage in conversation to actually have it. Rarity was right across him and after persuading him to stay and continue talking, she had also realized the kind of awkward atmosphere the two were in. What could Spike say, exactly, to break this unnatural mood? He couldn’t just bluntly tell her “Well, I’m here, start talking”. That wasn’t the way to do it. What he needed to do first was to make sure that, not only Rarity, but he too, was comfortable. Start with the small talk, maybe. Rarity would want that. He guessed this on the fact that they seemed to be very similar on how they felt about most things.

“Do you remember that dinner party at Twilight’s a while back?” Spike asked.

“Yes, I do.” Rarity replied. “I’m sorry I didn’t stay. I heard you had been cooking that night. I would have reconsidered if I had known you were there. You didn’t take it personally, did you?”

“I doubt you were in any condition to be enjoying a meal.” Spike running the tip of his hoof on the table cloth in front of him, imagining the wood of Twilight’s dining table. It was the spot where he would have placed that extra set of silverware. “You were really set on that letter weren’t you? Worrying about... well, It wasn’t unexpected. I didn’t take it personally at all.”

“I was selfish that night, Ruby.” Rarity made a guilty curl of a smile at the end of her lips. “If only I had been stronger.”

“You were too concerned about your friend. It would have been odd if you did stay and have dinner as if nothing was wrong.” Spiked suddenly found it hard to drive the conversation as it went along. Maybe it was because he was hastily trying to think up things to say. This was because what he was saying wasn’t how he actually felt.

“Is that so, Ruby?" Rarity asked, seeming to be slightly disappointed that he would’ve found it odd that she would have joined her friends to enjoy a dinner.

“Who am I kidding...?” Spike found it impossible to completely maintain his untroubled expression. It was taken, for a moment, by one of great sadness. He bit the inside of his bottom lip to resist. Holding a composed exterior at this point was like cupping water between his old dragon hands. A pony would find that task even harder. Despite his efforts, Rarity had already noticed this fluctuation. Spike gripped the table cloth under the table, deciding to let out what had sudden overflown from inside him. “I wanted you to come, and try my cooking, be with your friends. I wanted that to happen, so badly.”

Why in the world was he being so emotional, now? This was unnatural, so sudden. At the same time, they were feelings hidden away in every crevice of his muscles, veins, bones, all of it, just waiting to spill out at the slightest disturbance. Like the smallest noise disturbing the snow, triggering an avalanche. He was supposed to be hearing Rarity out, not pouring his feelings out to her.

Rarity looked at Spike, mouth agape. Words couldn’t describe how sorry she felt, for leaving him hanging that night. She was taken off guard. He was so different from his usual outgoing personality. She leaned forward to look at Spike’s face as he lowered his head to regain himself. He took a deep breath, finally over it, leaving Rarity unsure how much her absence had affected him.

“I remember the smell, Ruby.” Rarity found a smile to be the best for the moment as she spoke. She was surprised herself, like Spike was, that she had become the one listening.

Perhaps this place was a place for none of that, no speakers, no listeners. Not with both parties clearly having too much on their own plates to take any off of anypony else’s. They were exchangers, in the spirit of mutuality, of camaraderie.

“I was so famished, recalling the aroma. I thought I was going to go mad when I returned home that night. It actually took my mind off of the letter for a while.”

“Twilight and I,” Spike managed to return to normal once more. “We were planning another dinner party, invite more ponies over this time.”

“For me?” She asked, realizing their intentions.

“Of course, for you.” Spike nodded. “Twilight would have loved it if you had come, to the past dinner. It would make her happy if you attended the next one.”

“Only if you’re cooking. I still remember the smell, wafting from the kitchen, strangely familiar. But I wonder if I would have only sullied the mood by being there. I don’t want for the others to feel as if they were obliged to show me any kind of special attention.”

“Never,” Spike said immediately. “You can trust your friends with that much. They’ll be thrilled for you to just be  your normal self again instead of being shut in at home all the time.”

“Would that really be okay, Ruby?” Rarity asked as if it was too good to be true. She asked once more, to Spike’s puzzlement. “If I joined you, would it really?”

“Why are you asking me?” Spike chuckled nervously, shaking his head. “Is there a reason you’d need my permission to go?”

“Well... you’re the one cooking...” Rarity replied, having trouble thinking a reason for her question.

“Just because I’m cooking doesn’t make the library mine.” Spike laughed.

Rarity made a warm smile, but it fell away a moment after. Spike had just begun to enjoy looking at it. Something was the matter.

“What’s wrong?” Spike asked.

“Applejack,” Rarity said. “I’m not sure if we’ll get along at the party. As I’ve said before, the last thing I want is to be in the center of any negative attention. I want to be out of it all, with my friends. I hope Applejack still sees me enough of a friend to allow it. It would be terrible if it becomes difficult to get along with Applejack. Tell me, Ruby, what does she think of me?”

“She’s just as concerned about you as anypony else. She wouldn’t be cold to you at a dinner party of all times, in front of everypony at least.”

“Can you be the one to ask her for me?” Rarity asked.

“That’s...” Spike remembered that he wasn’t doing so well with Applejack either, “I can try...”

Rarity couldn’t count how many times Ruby had surprised her during his short time with her. She had thought him to be the closest of friends with Applejack. Much closer that she herself had achieved, she would daresay. She expected no less than a definite and enthusiastic yes from him. Yet he sounded hesitant, uncertain. However, she didn’t want to bring it up. For some reason, she would rather not discuss Applejack, not when they were alone together.

“Is it true you killed a dragon?” Rarity asked, bringing up the closest subject to Applejack that she could think of. It was just absurd enough of a question to snap Spike out of his anxiety as he thought how he was supposed to react to this outlandish query. it was on purpose on her part.

“Where in the world did you hear that?” Spike asked, placing his two hooves on the table rather firmly. “That I killed a dragon?”

“Sweetie Belle,” Rarity looked away, hoping that Spike wouldn’t think too much of it. She was right, Spike sighed, as he normally would, hearing about CMC antics.

“I didn’t kill anything that day.” Spike explained. “The dragon tried to eat me. It went for Applejack and Rainbow Dash first, though. I thought I’d hear a story of me and the dragon in a ring with boxing gloves before I hear one involving me killing it.”

“Forgive me, I can’t say I didn’t have my doubts. It was merely a question.” Rarity said. “So you fought this dragon?”

“You can say I took it on, but only because Applejack and Dash were in danger.”

“Where did it come from?” She asked.

“Out of the corner of my eye.” Spike looked up at the ceiling, thinking hard to that very moment. He remembered exactly the way it appeared, the only problem was, the memory of where the dragon had appeared from was as vague as something in a memory of one’s childhood. Spike simply couldn’t tell where it had come from, but that didn’t matter, it appeared, and thank goodness he was able to stop it.

“I ran it into a river. Never saw it again.”

“I see,” Rarity nodded.

There was a pause. It wasn’t awkward. It was a sweet pause. They were alone, sitting across each other at a table. It was dark outside. The only thing missing was the room, rumbling as if it were accelerating on a set of tracks. It was like they were on the train again. Talking, just talking, a moment away from it all. It had been a moment that had certainly done them great benefits. Spike knew that both of them wanted to recreate that setting. They were very similar, after all.

“Do you hate dragons, Ruby?” Rarity asked Spike.

“Hate them? Spike worked his brain once more to think about this. He couldn’t deny, there was some kind of dislike, deep within him. One he was trying to consciously compress. At the moment, he would only feel a little less than comfortable if shown an image of one. Other than that, there wasn’t any sort of hatred he could feel in his chest and mind. “They’re just dragons aren’t they? Even if they do bad things, it’s just how they are, sometimes. Ponies might see that as a reason to hate them, but then again, I can’t take any side of an opinion.”

Rarity was hesitant to reply. Spike knew Rarity was thinking back to the Fashion Show. Ruby would know that too, her history with dragons.

It would be unfair to hold Spike responsible for being the way his bad side is.

The fact that Spike had learned not to blame himself for what his bad side did would really be pointless if Rarity saw them both as one and the same.

If there's anypony to blame, it would be me...

But Spike knew that Rarity didn’t hold him for what he did outside of his senses. He didn’t exactly know. He had somewhat of a good feeling. This was his chance. If he just planned his next few sentences carefully, she might just tell him, what she thought about Spike.

“I don’t know what I think, to be honest,” Spike added. “I’d like to know what you think of them, if it wouldn’t be too intrusive of me. I am aware of your friend, Spike...”

“You’re thinking that Spike was the one who ruined the Fashion Show,” Rarity sighed, taking a moment to glance out the window. “Dragons, I’ve come to learn, are driven by desires. If it’s to destroy, then they will destroy. Yes, it was a dragon that night, wreaking havoc, but it wasn’t Spike. Spike, he was driven by something else, something far from the primitive desire an ordinary dragon would have. It was something noble, deep, and sincere.”

Rarity looked back at Spike, by now who was staring down, hearing every word out of Rarity’s mouth, but lost in the feeling of gratefulness and relief at finally confirming that Rarity held nothing against him for losing control, or for his feelings for her.

“He loved you,” Spike said quietly with a smile. “So I’ve heard.

“I know,” Rarity also smiled. “I knew.”

Maybe Rarity... just wasn't ready to make that kind of decision.

“Did you mean it?” Spike asked with much tension, although he gave a very mellow impression. “What you told him, when he confessed?”

“I wasn’t sure at the time,’ Rarity replied. “I didn’t know if I had done the right thing, for me and Spike. I certainly was trying to. It was all very sudden. I’ve had time to think about it now, consider everything that had happened and is happening now.”

“...And?”

“I’ve decided that my answer would be best unchanged.” Rarity nodded to herself with a firm expression.

Spike also nodded, with a sliver of disappointment. He had been expecting it after all, told himself many times not to let his fantasies drop him from a greater height. It was still a shame however, that he never got to be more than just a loyal friend. Nevertheless, he thanked Rarity, for not blaming him for all that’s happened.

“Why is that?” Spike asked.

“We were too different, Ruby. As a pony and a dragon, we are better suited to chase other partners. It’s going to be a challenge for me, I must say. He was the best, more than I ever deserved. There are others. I am not to sure about myself, but certainly for him.”

“Because he was a dragon.” Spike spoke to himself in a low voice. He glanced at his hooves, almost having a hard time believing that it was something that simple, keeping the two apart. He believed Rarity, everything she’s told him.

There is a solution to everything.

Spike will return, after he has sorted out his feelings.

Whatever fear Spike had of returning as himself, had long vanished. He finally felt as if his hooves were firmly attached to the ground. No more uncertainty, that itch at the back of his mind, the guilt, the not knowing. What was there left to do now that Spike’s greatest question had been answered? That was near impossible for Spike to consider now. Just for this moment, let him be free of all troubles and concerns.

There was a knock at the door, just as Spike realized how much time they had spent talking to each other. Rarity and Spike rose from their chairs at once to avoid looking as if they had been doing nothing but working until the last second. They left the table area and closer to the short hallway connecting the large doors to the circular room. The knocking continued for a little while until Rarity and Spike looked at each other and realized that one of them needed to call them in for them to enter.

“Come in!” Spike called first.

The wooden double doors opened as Spike and Rarity stepped away from their tables to meet their visitors. As Spike guessed, the ponies that were knocking were inspectors from the planning department, here to make last minute checks before the decorated room was prepared for open use. There were three of them and not one was without a pair of glasses and a clipboard, making Spike wonder if they were failed attempts to clone Mayor Mare.

“Well, this is very nice!” One of them said, as the three passed Spike and Rarity right by, as if they weren’t in the room.

“This will be excellent for the celebration.” The other replied to the first at they grew farther away, looking at decorations towards the inner part of the room.

Spike was puzzled at how none of the inspectors stopped to compliment the actual pony who did all the work instead of the decorations. They didn’t hang themselves up, did they? Spike looked to Rarity, but she really didn’t seem to care about the lack of deserved attention. In fact, she had left his side and went off somewhere, returning a few moments later with her possessions, that included tools and books of reference, things that she had used to aid her work. As Rarity checked her stuff and had finished her preparations to leave and call it a day, she looked towards the inspectors, who still hadn’t finished scrutinizing the decorations. She beckoned Spike to the door, accepting that she wasn’t going to hear anything from them

Once again, Spike couldn’t simply stand there and watch all of Rarity’s work and efforts go unappreciated. She nearly passed out preparing all this. Rarity turned to see why Spike was not following her out yet to see Spike looking in the inspectors’ direction.

“Hey there!” Spike called. “Rarity did a fantastic job! Don’t you agree? You almost let her leave without thanking her!”

“Yes, of course, Rarity.”  An inspector said hesitantly. “As always, you’ve proven to be the best pony for the job. We hope you’ll be well, until next time.”

“You are very welcome.” Rarity made an effort to reply. It sounded as if both sides had forced themselves to communicate, however, Spike was very pleased. With his ears full and chest content, he started towards the door with Rarity, who gave him a weak smile as if asking if that was really necessary.

“What’s up with them?” Spike asked.

“Oh don’t worry about them. They’ve always been that way, more so lately.”

“Are they jealous or something?” Spike asked.

“Dear heavens, I hope not.” Rarity let out a brief lady-like giggle.

Spike didn’t exactly have the best idea of how other ponies saw Rarity, but it certainly wouldn’t be better after the Fashion Show incident and the rumors following it. Ponyville might be somewhat small compared to Canterlot, but that doesn’t mean there was only one designer with the hopes to make it big in town. How they must’ve felt to see a great opportunity go up in smoke in the hooves of another, the best. It isn’t surprising if they held some sort of spite, even if they tried not to.

“What are you going to be doing before the sunrise?” Spike asked. “I don’t expect you’d be wanting to spend the night crowded at Twilight’s library party.”

“I wish to stay at home,” Rarity replied. “It does sound very anti-social, but it’s for the best, you see. It’ll be different now that we’ve finally spoken to each other. Do tell Twilight I feel horrible for missing her party."

“I wouldn't be too worried, but I'll tell her.” Spike nodded. “I hope you get lots of rest.”

“I’ll be resting in a much better mood, and that, I hear, makes all the difference, especially when I have a dinner party to look forward too.”

“If you ever need to talk again, my doors will always be open,” Spike admitted to Rarity.

"I've been waiting for somepony to talk to, about what we discussed, the way we had tonight, since I returned here.” Rarity sounded serious, in contrast to the lighthearted mood that had been. "Now that I’ve finally had that very much needed conversation, I feel as if I can finally take a step outside without having to feel as if the world was watching me. I need you to promise me something Ruby.”

“Anything, Rarity,” Spike replied with a look of anticipation.

“I need you to promise that you won’t worry for me any longer.” Rarity said with a smile. She didn’t say it in a way that felt as if she was rejecting him. It was a good thing, Spike could not describe how, but he was proud of her in a way. "With the exception of my food at the dinner party."

“I promise,” Spike agreed. Although this was something he wasn’t completely sure that he would be able keep, for the moment, he had to agree. Rarity was asking for his trust, and he will be eager to give it.

“There is something else too,” Rarity started, “You’ve heard plenty about me tonight, things that Twilight should have heard. I should have told them to Twilight, the way I’ve told you, but I’ve never been able to do it. I know it’s selfish of me, but if you can, please explain what you’ve heard to Twilight. When you get the chance, of course.”

“She’s just waiting to hear it from me, you know.” Spike replied. “She’s been counting on me to get through to you.”

“Then it appears that you will be able to satisfy her then.” Rarity sounded pleased at seeing her request fulfillable. “That way, things will be much easier at the dinner party. I am guessing Applejack will be there too.”

“Yes, she will.” Spike nodded in a less trilled tone. He felt his smile fall slightly, his eyes lose some spark. Rarity caught on it immediately.

“Whatever difficulties you and Applejack, most of all Applejack and I, share between each other, I believe that there can always be a positive resolution to everything. We must stay optimistic. I can’t say I know everything about her, but whatever may have happened, she’s not the type to linger on anything negative for too long.”

Rarity’s words somehow helped Spike feel lighter inside. As she said, placing optimism where he wasn’t able to have before. He had a look on understanding unbeknown to himself. Rarity saw this and, having a knack for reading Spike’s expressions, knew that she had said the right things to the troubled stallion. Knowing she had done everything that she had intended to do here she gave Spike a pat on the shoulder with her bandaged arm and started out the door.

Spike, instead of following her out, felt that it was more natural to watch her leave than go with her. They would be going the same direction, making the move unfit after they’ve just sealed the conversation. Spike had other things in mind that he would like to consider before he made his next move, too many to even take the first few steps outside of the town hall.

Ponies began to pass him and enter the building. He didn’t care who they were. All he was focused on was Rarity, who was walking away. Watching her until she vanished from sight. All Spike could think about was that conditions were finally stable for him to return as Spike.

Return as Spike, not a dragon.

He was a pony, but he did not have complete faith that it was going to stay that way, as strong as it was. Celestia’s words continued to float in his mind.

Spike will return, after he has sorted out his feelings.

Spike felt as close as to sorted out than he ever had been before. However, the name Ruby, he will have to use for just a little while longer.

Pick yourself up...

Take a deep breath...

Dust yourself off,

And start all over again.

Nothing's impossible, I have found,

For when my chin is on the ground.

I pick myself up,

Dust myself off,

And start all over again.

Don't lose your confidence,

If you slip.

Be grateful for a pleasant trip.

And pick yourself up,

Dust yourself off.

And start all over again.

Work like a soul inspired,

Until the battle of the day is won.

You may be sick and tired,

But you'll be a man, my son.

Will you remember the famous men,

Who had to fall to rise again.

They picked themselves up,

Dust themselves off,

And start'd all over again.

Work like a soul inspired,

Till the battle of the day is won.

You may be sick and tired,

But you'll be a man, my son.

Will you remember the famous men,

Who had to fall to rise again?

So take a deep breath...

Pick yourself up...

Dust yourself off.

And start all over again.