Running From Slender: Michael Gets Amnesia

by Undead_Brony

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Adventure, Human, Dark, Comedy
Length: 6928

Continuation of my first story. He is attacked by slender man, gets a bonk to the noggin, and Death sends him back to Equestria

(Part 1 is at this location –> 'Running From Slender'

I have been scaring Slender Man for a good three years. But lately, he has been getting harder to scare. One time, he almost found all eight notes! If that would've happened, then the apocolypse would start now, as opposed to 'When Humanity Forgets'! I'm joking, I'd owe War twenty bucks. Now, I think i'll get rid of Slender Man. He is getting boring to me.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-10 09:01:15 UTC

Ahhh!!! Demon Ponies!

Runing From Slender: Michael Gets Amnesia

"All in."

"Fold."

"Fold."

"All in."

I looked at War, whose helmeted forehead was somehow sweating. I grinned smugly at him. "You sure? I don't think I have enough room for anymore of you're money, bro."

"I'm sure. All in."

I smiled and layed my cards on the table. "Full house."

War looked at me. He layed his cards down slowly. "Straigh flush."

My mouth dropped, and he laughed. He scooped my entire pile of chips, which was at least a foot tall, in front of hisself. I clenched my fists. He laughed harder, along with Famine and Pestilence, who were laughing at my failure. I stood up and flipped the table. I then proceeded to yell out every obscenity I knew, ending with a "complete, and absolute horse shit!"

War spoke up "Well you shouldn't have went all-"

"You shut your whore mouth! You don't get to speak to me!"

He chuckled, got up from the table, and pointed at the now scattered chips with a finger that was suddenly flaming. They turned into a stack of paper. Green paper. That should've been MINE. Damn it all!

"Will You Turd Burglars Shut Up!? I'm Trying To Sleep!"

I looked at Death, who was leaning out of a door wearing some pajamas and and old school pajama hat. They had kittens on them. Oh... My... God. I attempted stifling my laughter, but it was futile. The noise burst out of my mouth at top speed, and it hit Death in the face.

"HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! ERMERGERD!!!! KITTENS!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!"

"Laugh it Up Cock Sock!"

"I plan to semen demon! Hahaha!"

He grumbled and stepped back into hi room, and I just kept laughing. Death, the one thing that decides your life span, wearing pajamas with small fluffy mammals on them? Tee-hee.

A few minutes later, I was done laughing. Granted, my body hurt from it, but I was done. I got up and looked at a watch on my wrist. A Timex™ to be exact. I read 00:00. Right, time doesn't apply here. I shrugged and opened a portal to The Forest. It was where I imprisoned Slender Man after killing him and myself, and I always went there to care him. I t was fun for the first, oh I don't know, 5,000,000,000 Earth years, and 3 Equestrian years, but now it was losing it's appeal.

Sure, He deserves it, but does he deserve my time? Granted it's endless, but still. It's the idea that matters. Maybe I'll kill him? Yeah, that sounds fun! Forever this time! No more Slender Man! Well i'm not going to. He's already dead. Can't kill the dead. I'll probably just turn him into a child and send him to a dimension thats just a burning building full of flame retardent pedophiles. That'll do.

I stepped through the black swirling portal toThe Forest. It was dark, and quiet. Too quiet. Usually, you'll hear a few crickets, but tonight? Nothing. Zip Zilch. Equivalent of nothing. I started to walk in to the forest to look for Slender Man who has probably woken up and started looking for notes, when I heard a voice.

'michael. don't do it tonight, something is going to happen here.'

"Hey, we agree'd that you wouldn't talk anymore! You make me want to do bad things!"

'it's in my nature! but i'm serious don't go into the forest tonight. do it tomorrow.'

"Can't, gotta kill him. Now really, go hang out with Jeff, or SCP! I know you can do it, Slender Mane."

'fine. i'm leaving for good. never coming back. goodbye. see you never. adi-'

"LEAVE!"

I didn't hear anything anymore, so I took the form I used to scare Slender Man. I'm a good six feet tall normally, but this form made me at least twelve feet tall. my face twisted into something akin to Slender Mans, but flesh colored, not white. I reached into nothing and pulled out some black contacts, the left one having a single red pupil, and some red paint. I used my tendrils to apply them. The red paint was used for the fake glasgow smile scar, and the contacts were used for condoms. Or for my eyes.

I stalked through The Forest in a lurchy movement, looking for Slender Man. I went to each area that had a note, but they were all gone! all except one. It was the one at the silo's, and I waited for Slender Man to arrive. I slid back into the shadows of a tree. Or tried to.

I was thrown to the ground by Slender Man. He thrust down with his bladed tendrils. I rolled back, and was about to charge when he turned to mist and flew off. How did he get his powers and memory back!? I took them from him! I got up and turned to mist myself and pursued the runaway demon. he was fast, but I was faster. I caught up to him, and absorbed him.

I turned back to original form, and was about get Death to help me wipe his memories, when I felt a vise in my head. It felt like a cold hand picking my brain apart. I dropped to the ground and started screaming in pain. Oh god, It was terrible. Worse than when I don't have any monster and have the flu and have a migraine. I thrashed about, trying to get it out. I stood up shoulder checked a tree, trying to focus the pain else where.

I then started punching myself in the nuts. Anything to try and get this pain out of my head. I heard a voice in my head, but it was colder, and more malice filled than Slender Manes.

'you thought you could keep me here forever?! ha! i will get my revenge on you for putting me here!'

"GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!!"

I screamed my pain to the sky above. I then forgot why I was there. All I knew was that I was in pain. Then, I forgot why this was happening to me. What is going on here, why is this happening!? Then I forgot who My friends were. They were, strong, and... important, right? Then, I forgot who I was.

"Who... Am I?!"

No matter who I was, I was in pain. God, Just make it stop! I got an idea, a crazy one, but an idea. I used my powers, ones I had no idea how to work, to try and take me away from this place. Maybe this place is causing the pain, and leaving will make it stop.

A glowing green portal opened up, and i jumped through it, leaving my memories, and a hungry... thing behind me. It was watching me, i'm sure. What does it want? Irregardless, I was being pulled somewhere. Somewhere colorful. With ponies?

_I_I_I_

I was sitting in another boring court, listening to my infernal nephew complain about his servants being to leisurely.

"-and that is why you should have them fired and kicked out of the castle! Aunty, are even listening to me? Aunty!"

"Yes Blueblood, unfortunately, I am concious enough to listen to your incesant babbling."

He got a comical look of hurt and anger on his face. The two guards assigned to court stifled laughter, and I nodded to them, letting them know that they can laugh. They did, and Blueblood's face contorted in rage.

"How dare you two laugh at me! Aunty, I demand that these two be dishonorably discharged, and gelded for insolence!"

"And I demand that you quit being such a pompous ass!" the guards and I laughed.

"Aunty! How could you!? I know how! you picked it up from that disrespectful whelp, Michael!"

I stopped laughing immediately, as did my guards. They got the silent message, and moved to apprehend my nephew. They grabed him and held him to the ground. One produced a flog from his armor, and held it up with his magic.

"Blueblood. You are sentenced to fifty lashes for insulting the Hero of Equestria, who defeated an army of beings immune to Hamony. He was also a Super Sexy Ultra Male. How do you Plead?"

"Not Guilty!"

My mouth dropped. "I just watched you do it!"

"Is that your accusation? That you watched me do it?"

"Yes!"

"But you didn't! You can't watch words! Therefore I am not guilty!" He looked hopeful.

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. Steel Hoof, do it."

He nodded and began to whip my insolent nephew. Blueblood cried out in pain and I smiled inside. Celestia-1 Blueblood-0. After thirty lashes, he wasn't even making noises, just silently taking it. Hehehe...

"Your Highness!"

I looked at the door to the court, and saw Stellar Shield standing there looking flustered.

"What is it My Little Pony?"

"The statue of Michael is cracking!"

I quickly responded by flapping my powerful wings and taking off towards the town center of Canterlot. I had never flown so fast in my life, and was there in a minute, at the most. Guards had the citizens pushed back about twenty feet from the statue. When they saw me, they all bowed, and I told them to rise. They did, and I stepped towards the statue.

Stellar Shield was right, it's cracking. Fractures in the marble were all over it, and light was emaniting from them. I poked it with a tentative regalia clad hoof, and it broke. The statue crumbled to dust in front of me, and I had caused it. My mouth opened in a silent scream. I fell to my knees, tears already stinging the corners. Then this hppened:

The dust and rocks started glowing. Dimly at first, but then it got brigheter, the same way Michael died. It got too bright to look at, and I shielded my eyes. Then, *BABOOM*!!!!

I looked at the pile, which was now a body. The body of Michael!!! *SQUEE* I picked him up in my hooves and hugged him, but he didn't respond. I held him from me and he was unconcious. He looked almost the same as I remembered, except, his hair was grey. Prematurely it seems.

"Oohhhh..... What? Where am I?"

"Michael! You're awake! Yay!"

I hugged him, then he registered what was happening.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! DEMON PONIES!!!!!"

He pushed out of my grasp and took off through the crowd.

"Guards! Stop him!"

They nodded and took off after him. I Looked at the statue's remains, and sighed. 'It seems that whenever he shows up, bad things happen, or will. Lets hope i'm wrong."

Where Are My Lucky Charms?

Let's recap, shall we? First, i'm in an immeasurable amount pain, the next, i'm in a world of talking horses. Right now, I have three questions I want answered. Number one, Who am I? Number two, Where am I? And number three, Why am I running from horses? I'm like way more evolved than them, my brains way gooder than thurz is! I stopped running and turned to face my assailants.

A large red horse wearing golden armor was far ahead of the rest, and stopped when I turned.

"Bring it, bitch!" (why does that sound familiar?)

The red pony turned and tried to buck me, yelling "Michael, it's me, Big Macintosh!"

I grabbed its legs and flung it away from me. "Am I Michael?! And I don't know anyone named 'Big Macintosh'!"

He hit the ground and skidded away. Once he stopped, He sat up and looked at me. "What're you talkin' about, ah'm the first pony ya' met when ya' showed up in Equestria!"

"The first one I met was the white one with the wings and the horn, five minutes ago!"

He scrunched up his eyebrows, and was about to say something when the rest of his friends showed. They made a semi-circle around me, and the ones that had horns (about five) pointed them at me. The big one with horns and wings, and the really long mane showed up and stopped them from doing what they had planned to do.

"Michael! Why did you run?"

"Am I Michael!?"

She pulled her head back a little bit and got a cinfused look on her( I say 'her' becasue fuck you. Why does that sound familiar?) face. "Uh, Yeah."

"All right, that answers one question. Second question, where-" *CRACK*! A rock struck me right in the temple "- are my lucky charms?" I stumbled around, then hit the ground with a thud. Why is everything so familiar today? I'm gonna' take nap...

_I_I_I_

I looked into the crowd, and saw Blueblood standing there, his horn's aura dissapating. "Thats what happens when you punch royalty, peasant!"

My face was probably red from anger. "Big Macintosh?"

"Yes yer' Majesty?"

"Please apprehend my nephew," I spat out the word 'nephew' with much venom " and beat him until he is is black and blue."

"With pleasure, yer' majesty."

Big Mac sauntered over to my now shaking-with-fear nephew, and grabbed him by the mane in his teet, and dragged him away.

"No, please, NOOOO!!!! Not Big Mac! Anypony but him!"

I kept quiet, letting the large red pony drag away the smaller white pony, who was crying in fear. It's understandable, Big Mac has some very unconventional ways of torture, but I authorized use of them only on Blueblood. I looked away from the sight, and back to the now unconcious human laying in the middle of the street. I picked him up in my magic, and turned to my guards.

"You may all return to the castle. I will take Michael back to his quarters."

They all saluted, and began walking back to their barracks. I set Michael on my back, and teleported to his old room, right under mine. I set his sleeping form on the bed, and left. After hiding the makeshift toga that he used, which I had put on the wall after he 'died'. I sometimes gotlonely and would come in here and sleep next to it. Or sniff it. Sometimes.

_I_I_I_

I felt something... Off, about 'The Forest', as Michael so fondly called it. For the past few days, i've felt strange power building there, almost like shadows of memory were collecting there. Could Slender Man be remembering? No, Michael and I wiped them clean as a whistle. Right?

I got out of the bed and snapped my bony fingers. Now, instead of my awesomely comfortable pajama's, I was in my usual black robes, holding my large scythe. I waved my flesh devoid hand, and a black portal opened. I stepped through, and into The Forest.

I scanned the area with my non-existent eyes, looking for something that would explain the odd power. I walked through The Forest looking for eiter Michael or Slender Man. I soon found both by the oil dums.

I saw Michael get ambushed by Slender, and then Slender ran off with Michael in tow. I dissapated into the air, and reappeared behind Slender Man, who was watching a glowing green portal. I lifted my scythe and swung downwards. It hit the Slender Being right where his spine would connect with his skull. Slender fell to the ground, and I flipped him over. Somehow he was still alive, and I felt his eyeless gaze upon me, as my eye sockets were upon him

"You're A Dick, And I Shall Reap Your Very Being, Then Wipe Memories Of You From Existance. You Will Never Have Existed, As Far As Anyone Is Concerned. Goodbye."

I put the tip of my blade on his chest, when he retaliated. His tendrils burst from him and encircled us both. He constricted them, pulling my blade into him, and me into the back of the blade. I tried to get away, but I couldn't. I did the only thing that could possibly stop him from absorbing me. I called the other three Horses.

I was able to hold myself from Slender's body, but not able to fully get away, when they appeared. War had flames on his body, his longsword drawn, Pestilence was standing in a cirlce of dead brown grass a light green glow on him, and a bag of seed in his hands. He liked it because it made his saying 'Spread My Seed Of Crippling Illness' that much more real. And Famine had a grey glow around him with a burger and a milkshake in his hands.

"Help!"

They nodded and began to meld into each other. When they did, they melded into me. I started changing my form, ready to become whatever it is that te four combined Horsemen are. I felt flesh adorn my body, and clothes as well. Slender Man watched the whole thing, and when we finished transforming, he flipped out. Instead of trying to pull me to him, he pushed me off. I landed a couple feet from him, on my back.

I stood up, just in time to see Slender Man jump through a green portal. I sprinted, and jumped through, following him. After all, since that lazy fuck Michael won't do anything, I might as well. Or should I say We?

Two, You Say?

I felt apple-ly. You know how when your skin feels all like an apple peel, you know how it gets all smooth but when you pull your finger across it, it pulls and hurts, and your breath smells like apple sauce? No, maybe thats just me. Anywho, I was apple-ly, and under a blanket, And something was covering my eyes. I lifted my hand from under the covers to rip whatever it was off, but it bit back.

"Ow, son of fuck!"

I used my other hand to knock it off and sat up. My eyesight restored, I saw that I was In a pretty nice room, a four poster bed, another door that probably led to a bathroom, and OH MY GOD MORE PONIES!!! I scrambled out of the bed and fell backwards, right onto my bare ass. Why am I naked?! I grabbed the blanket off the bed and covered my- wow, th-thats pretty big. Nice!

"Michael! You're awake!" Orange.

"Michael, why are you naked?" White.

"Michael, Do you want some tetrahydrocannabivarin?" Pink.

"Michael, di- Wait, what Pinkie?" Purple.

I looked at all the ponies who were staring at a pink pony, who, I think just asked me if I wanted some marijauna. I like this pony! I looked at the pink one over the edge of the bed, and said "You, Pink one, THCV is only one of 483 known compounds in marijauna."

"Yeah, but it was the longest one I could find on wikipedia, so deal with it."

".....What?"

she smiled all demonically, and giggled quite menacingly. Then, her hair went straight, and got darker, just like the rest of her coat. Hers eyes went black and she said in a deep voice "Don't ever be alone."

I whimpered quite unlike a man, and backed away. Suddenly, *POOF*! Her hair goes back to springy and a mess and brighter, her coat got brighter, Her eyes turned blue again, and She just smiled like an angel. An evil, scheming, satanic angel.

"Did any of you notice that? Please?"

"Notice what Michael?"

"Yes," the pink one began " what is it, Michael?"

"Nothing."

The purple one looked at me scrutinously, but shrugged it off. "All right, if you're done being silly, why are you naked, why did you appear out of a statue, and why are you scared of Pinkie Pie?"

"I don't know why i'm naked, I don't know why I was in a statue, And if that pink one is Pinkie Pie, it's because she's fucking terrifying. Can someone get me me clothes please?"

The big all-in-one-acorn walked into the room floating my clothes in frnt of her and said "You didn't have any clothes Michael. I had these left over from your last visit here, so they'll work just fine."

"All right, one more question."

"Yes?"

"What the fuck bit me!?"

_I_I_I_

The upside, I get to see Michael naked for a few seconds. The down side, I had to take his clothes off of the mannequin I fashioned out of some ponnequins. I almost had enough hair of the right shade too. Ah well. I opened the door and the six ponies, one human, and one frilly cat were conversing about getting clothes.

"You didn't hae any clothes Michael. I had these left over from your last visit here, so they'll work just fine."

"All right, one more question."

"Yes?"

"What the fuck bit me!?"

Rarity raised her hoof and said "Sorry Michael, I brought my cat Opal, because I thought she might cheer you up." She pointed at the accused party, who was stretching by a chair. Michael looked at it with a blank face, and then turned to Rarity.

"That is the gayest looking cat I have ever seen."

Rarity looked at Michael with a look of confusion, along with the others. Twilight voiced her confusion first. "What does 'gay' mean?"

I spoke before Michael "Where Michael comes from, 'gay' is a term used to desribe a male of his species that has sexual attraction to another male."

Twilight and her friends' face made an 'oh' of understanding. "So," began Rainbow Dash "they're like colt cuddlers?"

Michael looked at me but answered Rainbow Dash "I guess, if colt cuddlers take it in the poop chute." His spoke to me "How did you know what 'gay' means?"

"During your first visit I entered your mind to get you some Monster."

He was silent for a few beats before "Get out, please."

Myself, and the others "What?"

"Get out. I'm going, to get dressed, then we shall continue this over some food, hopefully."

I used my best puppy-dog eyes on him "But can't I stay and watch?"

"How 'bout no! Ya' crazy pony bastard."

"Fine."

I walked out of the room, following Twilight and her friends. We began to walk down the hall towards the dining hall to get breakfast, seeing as I had only raised the Sun two hours ago, when "OW YOU FUCKIN CAT!!! GET OUTTA HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!"

Ha, serves you right for not letting me watch!

_I_I_I_

He can't believe it! Another of him!? Did he have a brother? Oh, hell! He opened a portal to the world where the human was, but was aware of the fact that he was being chased by Human Two. He jumped through the portal, but before Human Two got through, he altered the location that Human Two would be taken.

He fell through the portal, and face-planted into a pile of dirt. He got up and dusted off, but when he looked around, he found that it was the same forest he had entered when he first hunted Human One! The equines must have made something in Human One's likeness. Don't ask him to explain, because he has no idea why things are the way they are.

He cleaned off his very suave suit, and began to take a 'Stroll down memory lane', as it seemed, when he was attacked by... Tentacles!?!

_I_I_I_

*thud*

"Dammit!"

I hit pavement hard, and I do mean hard. I tried to pull myself up, but dear lord my arms hurt. I laid on the ground for a few momets, to try and gather my strength. aftr said moments were up, I tried again. Thankfully, Victory is mine! I pushed myself into a sitting position, and rubbed my forehead. I looked up and around, and saw that I was on a balcolny. There was a telescope, and french doors behind me, which had a very shocked alicorn standing there. Luna, I think her name is...

"Michael!? I thougt you were dead!"

"I thought you were dead."

She held a hoof up and said "Death is fleeting."

Angered, I stood up and pointed my bony finger at her "Your Mom Is Fleeting!!!" Wait, 'bony finger'? The blue alicorn scampered backwards and emitted a squeal of fear.

"Your body! It just flashed, and you looked like a skeleton, but now you're... I think i'll pass out for this one."

She started to fall over but my form, which apparently looks like Michael, was fast enough to catch her. I caught her, and picked her up. She was light for a goddess, and it wasn't hard to carry her to her bed. I set her on her mattress, which is huge by the way.

The mattress, looks like it'd be fun to have fun on. unfortunately, it's been a long time since I had a penis. Mmm, those were some wild times. Wait! I'm 'Michael'! I pulled the lip of my pants (black Levi's™) back and... Holee Shit. That is terrifying.

Go To Hell, Oatmeal Is Awesome!

I stepped out of the room wearing the clothes The big white pony gave me (I really gotta learn their names) and man did I feel awesome. I had a pair of black Levi's™, some Vans™ and black shirt. I'm noticing an odd pattern here. All my clothes are dark! Did I like wearing these? Huh...

I began walking to the dining hall when, i realized, I have no freakin' idea where he hell this dining hall was. Is that even where they're eating? They could be eating in the big ones' room, or eating in the bathroom! I don't know the customs of this world! They could consume their dead! Maybe they praise some odd assortment of fruit for a godand messiah! I don't know!!!

*Cough*, excuse me, I don't know what came over me. But really, whose idea was it to leave the amnesiac alone and assume he would knows where he's supposed to go!? Well, at least they have staff all over this giant place. A lonemaid was walking down the same hall as I, and I stopped her.

"Excuse me, but do you know where the big white pony and her friends are eating?"

"Yo mean Princess Celestia andthe Elements? They are in the dining hall."

Poker face. "Where would that be?"

"Follow me, please."

I nodded and she turned around and started walking the direction opposite she had been and I followed. This castle  was huge! Marble floors and pillars, oil paintings of the big white pony and anothe that kinda looks like her, but blue and shorter, and stained glass windows that seeed to depict important events. I will break them all...

I shook my head, and turned to follow the mare, but when I looked at her, she had turned around and was facing me. Without a face. I gave a half cry and fell back wards. I started to scoot away, when my vision flashed and she had her face back.

"Sir, are you okay?"

I rubbed my eyes with one hand, and blinked a couple times. "Uhh... Umm, yeah. Yeah. I'm good. Lead on."

She looked a bit worried, but nodded and continued to the dining hall. I got up and followed after her. What the hell was that?

_I_I_I_

He was mistaken. Just a Hydra, not tentacles. He wringed blood from his hands and tendrils, a dead Hydra only ten feet away. He had started to feed off of it, but it had a terrible taste. It tasted how snakes smell. He resumed the walk he had been on when he was attacked, and soon found himsefl looking at the town were he had stolen the small filly from. He smiled (mentally) in rememberance of that day.

The way his bladed tendrils cut effortlessly through the parents neck muscles, how ecstatic he felt when he wrote those words on the wall... *sigh* Good times. But alas, he still had no idea what to do now. He could always terrorize the equines of this world. Or he could go after The human and trick him into destroying and killing everything on this world. Yeah, he'll take option number two.

He was about to walk back into the forest to plan, when he saw a colorful glint off to the west. He leaned his head in, knowing it wouldn't do anything to help him see, and he got the shock of his extremely long life. A rainbow beam to the face. It blew him backwards and he was out like a light.

_I_I_I_

I looked at the unconcious alicorn. She had stayed asleep, and thankfully, none of her guards showed up. I sighed and turned to the door. With a push it opened to reveal an equine in a maid outfit. Her hoof was raised, as if to knock on a door. Whoops.

"Just stay calm, stay calm!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Her ear piercing scream was sure to have been heard by every single guard in this place. I grabbed her mouth and shut it, keeping her eyes locked onto mine. I was using a bit of magic I learned a few millenia ago to put her to sleep for exactly six hours, six minutes, and six seconds. Why so specific? Cuz' I said so.

Her eyes fluttered and she passed out. I set her on a chair in the alicorns room, and closed the door behind me. I, being the Four Horsemen in one body, had quite a bit of magic at my disposal. Of course, it is all focused around what we symbolize. Fortunatey, I can work with that.

I stuck close to the wall as I walked down the hallway, making sure to tread lightly. I came to a corner and was about to turn it, when a guard patrol came running towards me. I pointed my hand at them, and put them into coma's. It would only last about a day, and they wouldn't miss anything. After all, this is a world full of small technicolor ponies. What kind of capers could they get into?

I continued down the hall, aimlessly, and soon was face to face with an entire hallway dedicted to stained glass. They showed a multitude of different things, like two alicorns fighting some type of dragon, another one with the same alicorns fighting each other, and several more with the same six ponies doing other boring shit. I shall break them all.

I turned to the wall behind me and punched it, allowing a chunk of marble to fall to the ground. I picked it up and measured it's weight. Good enough. I turned back to the windows and lobbed the rock through one, all in one motion. The stone bust through the glass and it shattered outwards. The sun caught the falling peices of glass, and shot a rainbow beam out towards a huge forest off to the east. Huh.

_I_I_I_

I sat in the dining hall with Twilight and her friends. They were laughing about something spike did, involving timerwolves and owing Applejack a debt. Oh, and 'Dragons Honor', whatever the hay that is. Sounds stupid. I used my magic to spoon a glob of cinnamin oatmeal  into my my mouth. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie was in my face, with a shocked expression on her face.

"Oatmeal, are you crazy!?"

_I_I_I_

I followed the maid for a few more minutes. Eventually, we arrived, and I heard some laughing about spikes and whatnot. I Turned to the maid and thanked her when we both heard the sound of glass shattering.

"Oh, I'd better go check on that."

"Yeah, I'm gonna get some food."

She nodded and turned back down the way she came. I turned and opened the door, only to see the pink one in the big white ones face. The pink one exclaimed to the big white one "Oatmeal, are you crazy!?"

I stepped into the room and all heads turned towards me. I pointed at the pink one. "Go to hell, Oatmeal is awesome!"

The big white one siled at me, and the pink one hung her head and jumped back to her chair, doing a one-eighty in mid-air. She landed facing the table and idly picked at a platter of cupcakes. Seriously, cupcakes! If she gets diabetes and has to have her foo-, hoof cut off, I shall laugh my man-nipples off.

I scanned the table, and found that all ponies present were looking at me. I assume they wanted me to say somethng, and I'm not one to dissapoint.

"Who are all of you? you seem to know me, but I don't know who any of you are."

They all looked at each other, with odd looks on their faces. Then, the purple one looked at me. "Michael, My name is Twilight Sparkle."

The orange one waved and began "Mah' name's Applejack!"

White one "I am Rarity."

Yellow "M-my name's Fluttershy."

Blue "I'm Rainbow Dash! Fastest flyer in Equestria!"

And that leaves the pink one. "I'm Pinkie Pie!!"

She appeared out of absolutely nowhere and gripped me in a hug so bone shatteringly tight I couldn't feel my hands after the first second. I thunked quickly and decided that headutting her would be the best way to get out of her hold, but then, like a pony ninja, she back flipped off of me and landed in her seat, smiling that infuriating smile.

The big white pony chuckled and said "And I am Princess Celestia. Before you died three years ago, we were husband and wife, ruling over Equestria pea-"

"Princess." Twilight interuppted her.

"Oh fine."

I looked at her confusedly. Most of this, I could take. This place seems pretty peaceful, I could live here. And hell, If I get Lonely, that Princess Celestia seems to want me. What, don't you judge me! The body knows what it wants. Back to the point, why was I fucking naked!?!

"Why was I naked?"

Celestia looked at me with a small smile. "I detected a small amount of magic on your body. It was a simple spell that tricked the brain into ignoring the fact that you are naked. Since the brain likes to have a complete picture, it just did what was normal, made us think they're were clothes on you. Simple really. The real question is who put the spell on you."

"That would be me."

We all looked towards the door, where, I was standing. I got up out of my chair to look at me and saw that I had a white shirt on. I pulled my black shirt off and pounded my chest, yelling "Come at me bro!" I pulled his white shirt and I did the same, but I yelled "With pleasure, cuntmuncher!"

Shit's about to get confusing.

Alowishus Devadander Ambercrombie

I rushed Me. I stepped back and cocked his arm. When I got close, I let fly. I made direct contact with My fist. My face stopped, but my body tried to keep going. I ended up on my back, while I stomped my face. Over and over, My foot made contact with my face. I grabbed My foot bfore i could kepp stomping, and twisted. I fell to the ground next to me, and I rolled over on top of Me. (Confused Yet?)

I punched Me in the face. I kept punching, and punching, until I felt blood on my fist. Then, for good measure, I headbutted Me. I got up off of Me, and stepped back, panting. Then, I stomped Me in da nuts. I stopped after, lke, ten kicks, and looked at Me.

I loo- you know what, i'm just going to call Me Mike, cuz' this is starting to confuse me! Mike looked exactly like me, but his hair was black, whereas mine is almost grey. Wearing the exact same clothes as me, and judging by the bulge, the same size 'D' as me.

"Who might you be, bloody me?"

"I'm Death, and I don't know why I look like you."

"All Right. Why is your voice like that? It sounds cool."

"Cause magic. Oh, and by the way, there's guard that is about to burst in here."

True to his words, a guard threw open the doors to the dining room. He wasn't wearing a helmet, and his blue mane lokked wind blown, like he had been running.

"Your Maje-Michael!?"

I looked at the unicon and he looked at me with a face full of fuck. I smirked a shit-eating smirk and waved at him. I then looked at my doppleganger and poked him with the toe of my shoe. The guard shook his head. "Your Majesty! The Crystal Empire has returned! Out of nowhere!"

Celestia gasped. "Returned!? Quickly, organize the guard! Sombra wil-"

"No. I will go."

Celestia turned to look at me. "You don't even know wha-"

"No!" I bellowed. "I will go. One question. You got any baseball bats?"

_I_I_I_

He was walking through the forest, when he felt a huge spike of power, far to the north. He instantly recognized that he could use this power, but first, he'd need to get it. He used his all powerful shadows to locate were The Human was, and when he found him, he entered the chaotic field of rage and battle that is The Humans mind.

Inside was a landscape of ash. It looked like it was once a city, but now nothing remained, except for the ruins of a house. He walked to the house and entered. Immediatley, there was the sound of vicious growling. He turned his head and saw that infenal mutt stand in a burned doorway. It bared it's teeth and snarled, froth dripping from it's mouth.

He backed up a step, and readied his body. Tendrils appeared out of his back, and they moved to defend their host. The dog began to approach him, but stopped. It turned its head and whimpered, looking at... The Human! The human raised it's hand to calm the dog, and the dog walked to its master and obediantley sat next him. The Human looked at him, and He rasie a nonexistent eyebrow.

'who are you?'

'I am Michael. Or, his memory, to be exact.'

'what!? i took you and consumed you! you were delicious by the way. like a mix of straw berry and... mint?'

'That sounds delicious. Anywho, i'm here to make a deal with you. You get me and Colmillo outta here, you can take control of my body to get that power thats up north.To be honest, it was fun making this place, but now that there is nothing to destroy, its boring.'

He scratched his head. 'i... i can't take control of bodies.'

'Really? Well, just trick me. Since I am Michaels memory, he won't know that you aren't... Oh, lets say his horribly wounded brother. Ooh! Or maybe, since Michael was in the military, you could say that you were brothers, but you got cancer, and the military offered to try and treat it with a special program, but it made you into Slender Man! Just like Deadpool.'

...

'Fuck you, that's a geat idea.'

...

'Fine. I'm leaving. Do what you want. I'll just make Michael go to the Crystal Empire and use the power on himself.'

'no, wait!'

'It's too late. Michael is gonna go to the Crystal Empire, he's gonna take the power there, then... He is going to fucking destroy you. And probably the ponies. He's amnesiac, he won't know the attachment to them, but I will. I will weep for them, bu I will laugh when he tears you to pieces. Good luck, fag stick. You'll need it.'

_I_I_I_

I looked at Michael, whose eyes had become darker. The irises had turned from their ice blue, to almost black. His facial features basically said 'Not-to-be-fucked-with'. When he asked for a baseball bat, I took a step back.

"Why?"

He turned on his malice. "Becaue I asked for one."

My ears pinned back. "Aluminum or wood?"

He smirked. "Aluminum."

_I_I_I_

I couldn't believe that Michael had the nerve to talk to the princess like that! I know she likes him, but that doesn't mean that he should be able to intimidate her! Ooh! I wonder if the princess will reward me for thinking that. Oh, boy I hope she does, Because the princess' approval is all that matters to me. Princess this, Princess that, I'm Twilight Sparkle!

_I_I_I_

I sat on the grass, drinking a Monster. I swear, that's all Celestia has. Michael had left three days ago, and was expected back tomorrow. He'll be back in a few hours.

A Few Hours Later

See? I told you.

Michael walked into the castle. His shirt was bloody and ripped. His baseball bat was Bloody and dented. His clothes were.. You guessed it, bloody! I walked up to him and he held out a fist. I bumped his against mine and we both said "Brofist."

Celestia walked in and saw a bloody Michael. She gasped and galloped over to him. "Michael, What happened!?"

Michael and I looked at each other. We shook our headsand chuckled. "Celestia," he began " take step back. I'm covered in blood, My bat is dented, and I obviously have been in a fight. Now, do you realize how stupid that sounds?"

She nodded her head. "All right, I'll give you that."

"I kissed Sombra upside the cranium with that aluminum baseball bat, Cuz My Name Is Mud! I'm gonna sleep."

With that he fell over onto the ground and curled up.