Dear reader,
Ah, you finally decided to give this a read, hmm? Well, somepony took their time! Pull up a chair, stick on your favourite pair of socks and get comfortable. I need to tell you something urgent, and I need you to be giving me your full attetion.
Before I begin, congratulations on spotting the spelling error in the previous sentence, if you did. Shame on you if you didn't. You need to be paying more attention. And if you've already complained about the spelling error to the author without reading ahead, shame on you for being impatient. With that out of the way, let's begin.
You are in terrible danger. Very soon, you will become something that you don't want to become. Something that you might even call evil, depending on your perspective. I can't tell you what it is just yet, because I run the risk of implanting the wrong ideas in your head and making my efforts wasted. But you have to take my word that what you could become is not something I want you to be. I want you, dear reader, to be something much better.
To do this, I shall perform a series of mental activities with you. These will all be done by text. This is why paying attention is important. And if you have any further doubts of my abilities, just know that I can make you think whatever I please. I could make you think that I'm a millionaire. I could make you think that I'm a computer programme. I could make you think that I'm a psychologist, though the title would not be unfitting for someone of my skillset. I could even make you think that I was not real, and that you're imagining all of this. Or, I could just make you think that I'm a compulsive liar, like right now.
The first activity is simple. I want you to remove all sense of importance from yourself. This may sound difficult at first, but a quick thought experiment should illustrate my point. If you were to be run over by a bus and killed tomorrow morning, what would actually happen? You'll die of course, but what would change about the world? Your loved ones would mourn your loss, your local area may choose to pay their respects, and if the accident is horrible enough, it might even get some coverage on the local news. But would the world at large change? Would it care? The answer is no. You may choose to place importance on yourself, but why? You're nothing more than a statistic in the grander scheme of things.
And in the unlikely event that you are important enough to warrant planetwide silence and global change, congratulations, you are important on this tiny blue dot floating aimlessly in a galaxy containing billions of other stars, which is itself floating aimlessly in a Universe containing billions of galaxies. Even if you were supreme ruler of the entire planet, or some great world saving hero, you are no more important to the Universe at large than an anthill in Central Park is to New York. You mean little to nothing even on the tiny planet you inhabit, so why place such importance on yourself? It's wasted on you. Place it elsewhere. But where, you may ask?
That's where the second activity comes in. Think of the one person you like the most. It could be a relative, it could be a friend, or if you're lucky enough to have one, a spouse. Now, place the importance you would have placed on yourself onto that person. Out of the seven billion people on this planet, that one person means more to you than anything else. You don't care about yourself. You live your life for them and them alone. Your every action, thought and feeling is geared towards them and their happiness. You care about other things, sure, and you have your own goals, but they play second fiddle to this one person. If presented with a choice, you'd favour their interests over your own. Does it really matter if you don't achieve your goals if that one person does thanks to your sacrifice? Have faith. Have faith for them.
But what about everyone else? Are they ignored? They're favoured over that one person, but they shouldn't be left on the sidelines. Some deserve care and respect as well. But how do you decide who is worthy of your care or respect? You can't be expected to give it to everyone, can you? The answer is simple, and our third and final activity. Only give care and respect to your friends and those who need it. This activity will take a long time, a lifetime to be exact. But, if you want to avoid becoming what I mentioned at the start, you must go through with this at once. Care for your friends for when they need it most. Respect your friends for the good things they've done for you and others. And the same goes for everyone else. If someone does something worthy of your respect, regardless of who they are, give it to them. If your fellow man is in dire need of a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on, lend it. The world may forget you, but it will never forget your kindness.
I wish you the best of luck with this last activity. Being merely a series of squiggly dark lines, I cannot act as a mentor for you. You must forge your own path, find your own way in this confusing world. I have left one last note for you at the bottom of this page. You must not read it until you have completed the final activity under any circumstance. Keep this letter with you on your journey, and for one final time, good luck.
***WARNING: DO NOT READ UNTIL LAST ACTIVITY IS COMPLETE***
I assume you have done as I have asked. If you haven't, stop reading this instant. These words are not for you. They are for those who have followed my instructions carefully and dutifully, wishing not to become that which I warned them about many years ago. Go elsewhere, your eyes are not welcome here.
Ahem, sorry about that, for those that did as I said. I just had to make absolutely sure that they were gone. They're probably still reading ahead anyway. Well, it's their loss. They won't understand a single word I'm about to say.
After all this time, after all this effort, you've finally completed the final activity and prevented yourself from becoming that which I warned you about long ago. Some of you have probably already figured out what that is. Some of you are probably still in the dark and have followed my orders blindly. It doesn't matter in the long run. You've lived long and prosperous lives. You've made someone's life infinitely better than it would have been, as well as countless others who have had the great pleasure of meeting you. You've accomplished things that you never thought possible, and have left a lasting impression on everyone you've ever met, for better or worse.
You've led virtuous lives in a world that doesn't care about virtue. By making others happy, you disrupted the status quo, and people took notice. They began following you, and your goodness rubbed off on them. They began acting like you, and in turn, they spread goodness where they went as well. You might not know it, but you've created a ripple in this bleak pond that will continue to grow as time goes on. And more ripples means more goodness. Soon, it shall rain, and the pond's waters will be forever restless with the patterings of kindness you unleashed upon it. People will soon wonder why the pond was still to begin with. They'll learn to love the rain in time, forever drenched in happiness.
Congratulations, dear reader. You avoided becoming like everyone else.
Welcome to chaos. Bring your own umbrella.
- Discord, Former Spirit of Mischief
