Facade: Trip And Grace In Ponyville

by Stormc12

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 6909

A very strange couple finds their way into Equestria. A martini addict and a art addict both cause problems in the small town of Ponyville.

A very strange couple finds their way into Equestria, setting up their home in a previously unused house. A martini addict and a ad designer both cause problems in the small town of Ponyville, ranging from making Fluttershy leave for being silent to making Rarity do a critique on Grace's strange statues that she hates for no reason. Will the town be able to handle the strangeness of Trip and Grace?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-13 01:02:04 UTC

Strange Morning

  It was a beautiful morning in the small town of Ponyville. The sun shone in the sky as bright as a spotlight, the sky was clear of clouds, and the birds sung among the bright green foliage. It seemed like it was going to be a great day. The marketplace was full of shoppers, buying supplies and food from the stands.

  Suddenly, from down the street, a man wearing a green shirt and grey pants came down the street, walking in a unnatural and robotic fashion. He walked up to one of the stands, the pony who ran it was very nervous of the never before seen creature.

  "Is there something I can help you with? We sell melons, blackberries, and..."

  The mare noticed the creatures face went to one of no expression to one of shock. The man looked around nervously, before making a scowl and staring into the mare's soul.

  "Okay, you know what? I think you need to leave."

  The mare running the stand backed away, but to her shock the man walked through the stand without any difficulty. Several ponies looked at the strange being as the mare backed up against the wall of a building.

  "Get away from me!" The mare yelled, scared out of her wits. "I just asked you if you wanted anything!"

  The mare gasped as she felt the man grab her and start dragging her towards a building.

  "I'm sorry, but I don't know what the deal is with you tonight." The man angrily said, still scowling at the mare. Ponies backed away from the man as he went up to one of the large homes, the mare struggling and screaming for help. He opened up the door and went inside, still carrying the mare. He then turned around to the door once he was inside and shoved the mare out the door.

  "We'll be fine, you should just GO." Was the last thing the angry man said before shutting the door and locking it.

  The mare looked up at the door in confusion, trying to figure out what exactly had just happened.

  "You okay miss?" An orange mare asked, known to most ponies in the town of Ponyville as Applejack.

  "Yeah..." Was her response. "I'm going to head back to my stand..."

  "Ah'll deal with this varmint here." Applejack said as she went up to the door of the building. She heard two voices arguing with each other from within the home. She pounded on the door several times, face showing aggression.

  "Hey, ya'll two better open this door!" She loudly exclaimed.

  "Oh--- She's here!"

  "What? You said she'd be coming an hour from now!"

  "No no, she's right on time!"

  "Trip!"

  After a few seconds, the door opened and revealed the man. His arms spread out as if wanting to give a hug to the cowpony, and his face showed happiness.

  "Applejack! God it's been so long since we've seen you!"

  "Ah never even meet ya before!"

  The man's face went to one of no expression. He then said "Oh, well... Glad you could make it..."

  "Why'd ya take that mare into here and throw her out?"

  "Y--- Yeah come on in." Trip walked into the room. "It'll be just a sec while I go get Grace..." The man said as he walked off into a hallway and into a doorway on the right. Applejack was angry at why Trip wasn't answering her questions. He stormed into the room, muttering to herself. She noticed the room was painted with grayscale colors, a bar and some shelves were at one side of the room. A couch was at the far right corner of the room, and a glass pane that was the window showed a city skyline that reminded her of Manehattan. When she moved up to it, she grew confused as to how it was possible for something like this to happen.

  "No, no! Here we are!" Applejack snapped her head towards a doorway that lead to a small hallway. A woman that she guessed was Grace came out, followed by Trip. "Applejack," The woman spoke, "Hi! How are you, oh it's so nice to see you it feels like it's been forever!"

  "Yeah, it has been a long time."

  Applejack was surprised at the fact the woman also knew her name. "Ah said I never even met ya'll before!"

  The strange couple both looked at each other with slight surprise.

  "Well... Uh... Make yourself at home I guess..." Grace said.

  "How in the hay do you know my name!?" Applejack angrily asked the couple.

  "What?" Trip started, "No! No! No! I'm good, we're good, everything's good."

  "Why in the buck are you acting like ya both know me!? I never even meet ya'll!" Applejack angrily asked yet again, pointing her hoof at the two.

  They both looked at each other shocked.

  "Wait... You think we should have... Some more sex?" Trip asked, making an awkward smile. Applejack's jaw hit the floor in shock.

  "NO AH DON'T!" The mare yelled at the top of her lungs, shocked and now at her boiling point. "Ya know what? Consarn it! Ah'm getting Twilight to deal with ya both!"

  Applejack furiously stormed out of the post-modern room and went outside, slamming the door behind her.

  "Okay, Applejack, you know what? I think you need to leave."

  Applejack barely got any time to turn around before she felt Trip's hands grab her. She started struggling against he inhumanely powerful grasp, using her hind legs to kick the man repeatedly. If the man was feeling pain, he wasn't showing any visible signs of it.

  "I'm sorry, but I don't know what the deal is with you tonight." The man angrily said. "We invited you over, but this is just NOT working out."

  "Get yer hooves off me!" Applejack yelled in anger.

  The man opened the door and went inside, revealing Grace, staring angrily at Applejack. Trip carryied a writhing Applejack inside the modern room. He then spun around and shoved Applejack out the door.

  "We'll be fine, you just need to GO." Trip angrily exclaimed before slamming the door.

  Applejack had the same reaction as the mare from earlier.

  "What in tarnation just happened?" She asked herself, rubbing her head.

Twilight's Visit

  Twilight went up to the home. She remembered it was previously left for sale, but apparently, Applejack said two people lived there. She went up to the door and knocked on it.

  "Oh! She's here!"

  "What? You'd said she'd bere here an HOUR from now!"

  "No, no! She's right on time!

  "Trip!"

  Twilight could hear the couple inside arguing. She grew confused as to how they expected her arrival. Soon, she saw the door open, and saw a man standing in front of her.

  "Twilight! Hey! God, it's been so long since we've seen you!"

  "Hello!" Twilight said in a cheery voice, smiling. "I've been wanting to ask you some questions about some things that happened awhile ago that Applejack told me about."

  "Ha, ha! Hi!" Trip happily said, smiling. "Wow, it's really great to see you!"

  "Great to see you too I guess."

  "Well, come on in!" Trip said, gesturing towards the room in the home. Twilight followed the tall man into his home. The first thing she noticed was the room consisted of grayscale colors. A bar and cabinets were on one side of the room, and a window next to a couch showed a skyline of a huge city, much to her confusion.

  "Uh, give me just a sec while I go get Grace." Trip said as he went into a hallway and into a doorway. Twilight immediately started to hear arguing in the room. She grew confused at the arguing, and wondered what they could possibly be arguing about. She decided to leave them alone, and went over to the window.

  The skyline reminded her of Manehattan, except slightly different. White boats were in the seas below, it was somehow nighttime, and the buildings shone with light.

  "How did they do this..." Twilight muttered to herself, rubbing her chin.

  "No, no! Here we are!" Grace said from behind her, causing Twilight to spin around. She saw Trip and Grace come out of the hallway. "Twilight... Hi! How are you! It's been such a long time!"

  "I never even met you before." Twilight said in annoyance. The couple both seemed surprised for a second, but then converted back to their empty expressionless faces.

  "Well, I'll go close the door!" Trip said, doing the action that he said he'd do. "I'll go make us some drinks!". Trip went over to the bar counter, and bent down, his arms shuffling back and forth. "How does a martini sound?"

  "I'm not the pony into alcohol," Twilight said to Trip "Water will be fine."

  "No, no... Twilight, maybe you'd like some juice or some mineral water?" Grace said, moving into Twilight's field of view all of the sudden.

  "I just said I wanted water." Twilight yet again requested, now a bit annoyed at the couple's stupidity and ignorance.

  "You know what? I'm just going to make you a martini."

  Twilight resisted the urge to groan in order to avoid being rude.

  "I want water. Please."

  "What? No, no, no! I'm good, we're good, everything's good."

  Twilight promptly facehoofed. She was wondering how these two were able to have jobs because of their stupidity.

   "Okay, quick question. How did you get the city out here? You live on the first floor of this house."

  "Ah, yeah, this is some kind of amazing view.  I never get tired of looking at it." Trip happily said, looking out the window from behind the bar counter.

  "Ugh, I need to call building maintenance to wash these windows." Grace moaned, turning her head away from the glass pane. Twilight was getting more and more frustrated with the couple's refusal to answer any of her questions.

  "Applejack said you dragged somepony in here after asking you if you wanted anything. She noted that you got angry after she said melons and blackberries."

  Twilight noticed Trip's face suddenly go into one of shock, as if being threatened with a knife. He immediately stood up. Twilight raised an eyebrow.

  "Did I say something bad?"

  "Okay, Twilight, you know what? I think this evening is over. You got to leave." Trip said, angrily walking over to Twilight. Twilight backed away from the man. "Jesus, Twilight, we've had enough, you need to go."

  "But I didn't even get a chance to have any of my questions answered!" Twilight complained before yelping as she felt Trip grab her. Trip carried her across the room, her face pointing directly at Trip's. Eventually, they got to the door. Trip opened the door up and shoved Twilight out the door.

  "We'll be fine, you should just GO." The man angrily said before shutting the door. Twilight, in an act of frustration, loudly groaned and went up to the door and attempted to open it, only to find it locked.

  "They even lock me out from here!? What is wrong with these ponies!?" She loudly and angrily said.

  Suddenly, the door opened up a crack, and a hand holding a cup of Merlot was pushed out the door and onto the porch in front of Twilight, miraculously staying upright and not breaking on the concrete or having any liquid displaced as it fell and landed.

  "Merlot." Trip casually said before shutting the door and locking it again. Twilight took several seconds to process what happened.

  "These two are more stranger than Pinkie..." Twilight muttered, taking up the glass of Merlot and taking a sip.

  "Hey, this stuff actually tastes a bit good." She happily said as she took another sip.

  Twilight trekked back home, and decided that she'd write a letter to Celestia about the events she had during the day.

  Somewhere in the marketplace, Applejack was back at her stand selling apples to the friendly ponies of Ponyville. She had forgotten about Trip and Grace and how she got kicked in and out, which didn't make sense to her. Suddenly, she saw Trip come up to the stand. Applejack promptly groaned.

  "What do ya want?" She muttered, annoyed by the man's presence.

"How does a martini sound?" The man asked.

  "We don't sell martinis here. Ah only sell apples. Buy some or get yer flank away from mah stand." Applejack didn't want to spend the rest of the day dealing with the man or his wife.

  "You know what? I'll just make you a martini."

  Applejack promptly slammed her head onto the table as the man went behind a bar counter that appeared out of nowhere next to Applejack's stand.

  "Somepony put me out of mah misery." Applejack muttered.

  The sound of glass breaking resonated from behind the bar, and Trip promptly said something in frustration.

  "Shit."

  Applejack all the sudden had an idea come to mind. She knew she could deal with the situation faster if she said what the mare said earlier.

  "Melon."

  "Okay, Applejack. I think you need to leave."

  Applejack felt Trip's hands grab onto her as she was dragged across the market and into Trip's home. She chuckled at the hirality of the situation.

  "We'll be fine, you should just GO."

  Trip then released Applejack and shut the door. Applejack was still in the room. Trip just stood next to the door, angrily staring at Applejack. Applejack raised an eyebrow, but then chuckled again and tried to open the door. She tugged the doorknob only to find it locked.

  "You got to be kiddin' me right now."

Trip's Game Of Tag

Applejack attempted to repeatedly open the door, trying to avoid Trip and Grace's angry stares directed towards her. No matter what she did, the door would refuse to open. She even tried bucking it at some point, and she was amazed how her legs weren't broken.

  "Hello? Who's in there that making all that noise?" She heard Pinkie ask, knocking on the door.

  "Thank Celestia! Pinkie, open the door! Ah've been stuck in here for-"

  "Oh! She's here!" Trip happily said, smiling.

  "What? You told me she'd be here an HOUR from now!" Grace angrily argued.

  "No, she's right on time!"

  "God... Trip!"

  Trip walked past Applejack and opened the door, revealing Pinkie standing there.

  "OH MY GOSH! I've never seen you two before!" Pinkie happily chirped, hopping up and down.

  "Pinkie! Hey! God, it's been so long since we've seen you!" Trip happily said as if meeting with an old friend. Applejack ran past Trip and out the door, thankful to be away from the annoying couple.

  "Thanks Pinkie, Ah have been stuck in there with those two rascals and they wouldn't open the door!" Applejack thanked Pinkie.

  "Well, come on in!" Trip happily said, gesturing towards the room behind him.

  Pinkie ignored Applejack and hopped inside the home. Applejack didn't feel like Pinkie was going to be there long judging from how Trip usually acted. She walked off back to her stand while Pinkie hopped around in the expansive room inspecting every little detail like a curious child.

"No, no! Here we are!" She heard Grace quickly say.  "Pinkie... Hi! How are you! God, it's been such a long time!"

  "Hey, that's what I said!" Trip said.

  "You met me before? I never even met you before!" She said, laughing.

  Trip and Grace both seemed surprised for a few moments.

  "Well-" Trip started before being interrupted by a ringing sound from behind him. Pinkie zoomed over to see a small black device. She picked it up and examined it.

  "Hello? Hello?" The device said in a low tone.

  "Pinkie! No! Don't do that!" Trip begged, coming over to Pinkie.

  "Why?" Pinkie asked. "Is this thing going top possess me too!?"

  "Who is this? Travis? Is that you? This is your mother." The device said.

  "OH MY GOSH! Your mother is stuck inside here!"

  "Ugh, it's my mother." Trip groaned. "I can hear her loud voice."

  "I think I have the wrong number..." Was the last thing the device said before shutting off with a beep. Pinkie set the phone down after spending several seconds examining it.

  "Oh, I wanted to say hello-" Grace said before being interrupted by Trip.

  "Yeah... Heh heh... No, I can talk to my parents later." Trip nervously interrupted. Pinkie was now zooming around the apartment looking at every single thing there.

  "Anyhow, Trip's parents, they're sweet people, really down to earth-"

  "Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they don't know 'black tie only' from... black bean chili." Trip argued, looking over at Pinkie. Grace sighed in frustration as Pinkie stilled hopped around the apartment looking at everything.

  "Pinkie? Are you alright? You're acting all fidgety..." Trip asked, raising an eyebrow.

  Pinkie stopped in place, still hopping up and down like a child on sugar rush and replied "No! I'm totally fine! It's just that you got a REALLY great place here! Rarity would love all of this stuff you have in this house!"

  Trip and Grace looked worriedly at Pinkie Pie. Suddenly, they glared at her, causing Pinkie to stop in confusion.

  "Okay, Pinkie, you know what? I think this evening is over. You got to leave." Trip angrily said, walking over to Pinkie.

  "OH! You wanna play tag?!" She excitedly said, smiling. She quickly ran out of the house and towards Trip yelled "Your're it! You gotta catch me!"

  "Jesus Pinkie, we had enough. You need to go." Trip just angrily said as he exited the home, grabbing the attention of every single pony in the market area. Pinkie ran off towards the center of town as Trip followed closely behind.

  Meanwhile, Applejack was witnessing everything that had just happened from her stand. She looked at Trip and Pinkie in confusion as they disappeared around a corner.

  "Do you know those two?" Bonbon asked Applejack, raising an eyebrow.

  "Yup." Applejack responded, turning her attention to Bonbon. "The green one is very darn annoying."

  "I'm pretty sure that's a human that my roommate keeps rambling about."

  "Ya think?"

  "Yep."

  "She's gonna be mighty depressed when she sees it for herself."

  Pinkie snorted as Trip dragged her towards the house. The moon was high in the sky, the crickets chirped, and most ponies in town were now asleep. Pinkie was already tired out from running from Trip. She never had this much fun playing tag before.

  "We should TOTALLY play again tomorrow! Don't you think?" Pinkie asked as she was being dragged.

  "I'm sorry, I don't know what the deal is with you tonight." Trip angrily said to Pinkie. "We invited you over, but this is just NOT working out."

  As Trip arrived to the front of the house, door still open with Grace standing in the exact position she was when Pinkie left, still glaring at Pinkie. Trip went into the home and spun around, shoving Pinkie out of the door.

  "We'll be fine, you should just GO." Trip angrily said before shutting the door.

  "Okay! Tomorrow it is then!" Pinkie happily said as she started hopping back towards Sugarcube Corner, humming along the way.

  Somewhere outside town, another man appeared. The first thing he said described his personality perfectly.

  "Grace is a huge whore." He said nonchalantly. He started walking towards Ponyville as the moon hung in the sky. "And Trip is a huge melon fucker."

  This man was known to Trip and Grace as Adam.

  His only purpose of living?

  To anger Trip and Grace every chance he get's and avoiding Trip's 'You need to leave' moments.

The Player (AKA The Scumbag)

  Adam walked through the town, earning looks of confusion. He knew where he was headed. He knew where he was going to.

  "Not another one!" He heard a southern voice groan.

  He turned towards the source of the voice, looking at a mare setting her stand up. He pointed a finger at the cowpony. "GO SUCK MELONS" Adam loudly roared, laughing like crazy immediately after. He went up to the door of Trip and Grace's home, and pounded on the door repeatedly.

  Applejack watched as he was invited in, still confused.

  "Wherever these folks are from, they must take melon as a big insult." She told herself as she continued preparing the stand.

  It had only been a minute before she saw him shoved out the door to the home. The door slammed behind Adam and he immediately began pounding on it.

  "I GOT YOUR DILDO!" He screamed. He waved a straight, rainbow object in the air, still pounding on the door. "IT HAS MELON ALL OVER IT!"

  Adam angrily stopped away, and then caught sight of Fluttershy, who was walking through the marketplace wearing a pair of saddlebags, happily humming a tune as she trotted along. Adam went up to the pegasus pony, who froze. Adam stood over Fluttershy, looking at her.

  "Um... Hi?" Fluttershy softly and nervously said, lowering her head.

  She yelped when she felt herself lifted up into the air by Adam, who was hugging her. He then put her down after a second. Applejack, nor any of the ponies in the marketplace, didn't know how to react to what they just saw.

  "If my abilities weren't limited to comforting, hugging, and kissing," Adam told the blushing pegasus. "That would've been strangling."

  Several ponies gasped. Adam walked towards the direction of Ponyville's school.

  "This ain't going to end well..." Applejack thought out loud as she went up to Fluttershy, who was still staring at Adam walking away in shock. Her pupils the size of pinpricks and her mouth agape. "You okay Fluttershy?"

  Applejack got no response for several seconds. Suddenly, Fluttershy galloped off, crying.

  "That does it." Applejack muttered. She galloped towards the direction Adam went. After not to long, she reached the bright red schoolhouse. She could hear Adam inside scream something.

  "And it would look better if it were on my-" Adam said before pausing for a second.

  "Penis."

  Applejack herself gasped at the vulgarity of the man. He saw Adam walk out of the building, still casual. She angrily stomped up to the man.

  "What makes you think you can do that!?" She angrily asked. "Especially in front of a bunch of foals!"

  "Because FUCK THE POLICE!" He yelled, immediately running past Applejack.

  "Okay, Adam, I think this evening is over, you got to leave." Applejack heard Trip say.

  "HOW DID YOU DO THAT OMG!" Adam yelled, running the opposite direction from Trip.

  "Jesus Adam, we had enough. You need to go."

  "YOU CAN'T TAKE ME ALIVE!"

  Adam ran into the schoolhouse yet again, and slammed the door behind him. Trip, however, kept walking up to it. To Applejack's shock, she saw Trip phase through the door. He heard muffled gibberish coming from Adam inside the home. Soon, she saw Trip, grabbing onto a flailing Adam, phase out the door.

  "I'm sorry, but I don't know what the deal is with you tonight." Trip angrily muttered.

  "MELON MELON MELON MELON!" Adam screamed, trying to escape Trip's grasp on him. She watched as he kept yelling and screaming. Trip kept dragging the man all the way to the marketplace. Silence reigned the area yet again.

  "Well, finally glad to see Trip did something useful for once." Applejack happily smiled, chuckling. She went into the schoolhouse and saw Cheerilee in front of the door, as if she was about to open it. The students inside sat at their desk, talking to each other.

  "Did you see him too?" She asked.

  "Ah sure did. Trip got him and is taking him Celestia knows where." Applejack replied, looking at the street behind her.

  "I can't believe he would say such things in front of a bunch of young ponies like that!"

  "Ah can't believe it either. But at least Trip handled it."

  Several hours later...

  Adam went up to the door, glaring at all the animals cowering from him. The nature-based home made him feel indifferent about the place. He finally reached the wooden door, and knocked on it. After a second, the door opened. Adam saw a small rabbit looking angrily at him. He ignored the rabbit and went in, seeing Fluttershy lying on the couch bawling.

  "I'm sorry." Adam apologized.

  Fluttershy lifted her head up, her tear stained face and her red eyes focused on him.

  "W... What?" She asked, her voice sounding sore.

  "I'm sorry."

  Fluttershy smiled. "Really?"

  "Yeah. I'm sorry that I can't strangle you because of how fucking fugly your dumb face is." He replied. Fluttershy looked at him in severe shock, her mouth agape. Adam laughed as he left the room, ignoring the rabbit, also known as Angel, kicking and stomping his foot as he left. Fluttershy starting bawling yet again once the door shut.

  Outside, Adam stopped a few feet away from the door and pulled up the rainbow statue he stole from Trip and Grace's house. He looked at it for a few seconds. The the looked up and continued towards town, going into a run.

  "Why can't I fucking put this down." He said to himself as he ran.

  "Hey!" He heard a voice yell at him from above. He stopped and looked up and saw a rainbow pegasus known to everyone in the town of Ponyville as Rainbow Dash. "I heard what you did to Fluttershy!"

  "OH SHIT THE COPS!" Adam screamed. "FUCK THE POLICE!" He burst into a run. Rainbow Dash, confused for a second, looked at him. She then realized what was going on and took chase.

  "Get back here!" Rainbow yelled. "You're SO going to get it!"

  "MELON MELON MELON!" Adam yelled like a crazed maniac.

  In the marketplace in Pontville, Trip was outside with Applejack making a martini against Applejack's wishes. Applejack had given up trying to make Trip go away.

  Suddenly, Trip stood straight up, and his neck rotated in a complete circle several times like a radar for several seconds. Applejack grimaced at the inhumane and disturbing sight.

  "Okay, my Trip senses are tingling. I think someone needs to leave." Trip said, his arms bending forwards. He walked off towards the direction of Fluttershy's cottage. Applejack opened her mouth to say something, but immediately changed her mind.

  "It'll be better if Ah don't question it." Applejack muttered to herself.

  "Why won't you fall over!?" Rainbow angrily asked as she kept running into Adam, who was still running down the path.

  "BECAUSE YOU SUCK TRIPS RAINBOW DILDO!" Adam yelled, holding the rainbow statue up in the air.

  "Adam, I think this evening is over, you got to leave." Adam immediately stopped and looked around. Rainbow stopped too.

  "OH GOD WHERE IS HE!?" Adam loudly and frantically yelled, spinning around looking for Trip, He screamed when he felt Trip, who appeared mysteriously behind him, grab Adam. Rainbow got startled and spun towards Adam, seeing him get dragged off towards Ponyville. Adam repeatedly kicked and punched Trip, but Trip was not showing any signs of weakness.

  "We invited you over, but this is just not working out." Rainbow heard Trip angrily mutter as he walked away.

  "That was... Weird." Rainbow told herself, still staring at the two men.

Adam's Train Gets Disconnected

  "Fucking shit." Adam muttered in bitter anger. "Fucking decorating."

  Adam walked along the street. Night time had covered the town of Ponyville in a cape of darkness. Most townsponies were now asleep. Adam, Trip, and Grace, however, didn't need to sleep. Adam looked around. His view soon focused on a distant castle, lit up like a flare in the darkness. The white bricks reflecting the light of the moon made the castle look beautiful. Adam, bored out of his mind, decided go there. However, walking would take him a long time. He decided to save the running for when he was getting away from Trip.

  "How can I get there the fastest?" Adam asked himself.

  Suddenly, as if a light bulb flashed on in his head, he came up with an idea. He looked towards the train station not too far from him, and saw a train pull in and screech to a halt.

  "I know! I'll take the gay train!"

  "Okay, Adam, you know what? I think you need to leave."

  Adam turned around just in time to see Trip grab him, and start dragging him off. Adam starting flailing around and started punching Trip in the face, however, Trip was not affected.

  "THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU FUCKER LET ME FUCKING LEAVE YOU MELON WHORE!" Adam yelled. Several citizens ended up looking out their windows to see what the racket was.

  However, Adam was confused when he was brought to the train station. Trip brought him inside a car and shoved him into a seat before leaving the car, shutting the door behind him. Adam immediately got up from his seat and attempted to open the door, however, he could only knock.

  "GOD DAMN IT!" He yelled.

  He then felt the train jolt forwards. He repeatedly knocked on the door in rage, wanting Trip to let him out. However, soon the train was at maximum speed.

  "Fucking shit. Next thing I know that lesbian book unicorn is going to have wings." Adam muttered to himself, going up to one of the windows. Nobody else was in the car he was in with him. Lights dimly lit the interior, and the walls shielded Adam off from the outside world. However, he noticed that the train was actually heading towards the destination he originally wanted to head to. He felt confused, wondering why Trip was bringing him to whatever that city was.

  "Fucking fag."

  The sun was now barely over the horizon, giving off it's light to the dark corners of the earth. Yet, Adam, still inside the train, refused to give a fuck. He sat down on the chair and stared out at the passing landscape. He would say something like melon if he wasn't on a moving vehicle on the side of a mountain.

  Soon, a train station pulled up, and Adam, still sitting down with both of his arms crossed, got up from his seat.

  "About fucking time." He angrily said. He went up to the door and opened it up. However, he soon realized that the train had yet to arrive at the station. Outside the door was a steep cliff leading to the ground possibly thousands of feet below. He looked out and saw the train itself had somehow disconnected from the rest of the cars. The only thing keeping the train from rolling back down was the brakes.

  He went to the back of the car and opened the door. He got out of the train and started walking up the tracks.

  "Adam!" Trip exclaimed, walking up to the man as Grace stood beside him. "Hey! God, it's been so long since we've seen you!"

  Adam immediately turned around and started to head back towards the train car, however, he then heard a metallic clank, and the train suddenly zoomed down the side of the mountain, derailing after a few seconds and plunging down the side of the mountain.

  "FUCKING BITCH!" He yelled in rage, his voice echoing across the land.

  Meanwhile, Celestia, standing on a balcony overlooking Equestria, suddenly heard something.

"FUCKING BITCH!"

  Celestia just shrugged and continued to gaze out into the distance.

  "I wonder if those three Twilight told me about will get here soon. They can't be as bad as she said they were." Celestia told herself.

  Adam was now hitchhiking with Trip and Grace up the tracks. The sun was still barely over the horizon, giving everything an orange tint.

  "When I find whoever rules this place, I'm going to give them a piece of my mind." Adam muttered.

  "What? No, no! I'm good! We're good! Everything's good!" Trip nervously said. Adam didn't even respond to him. They spent only five minutes going up the side of the hill and Trip was already getting on Adam's nerves.

  "Adam, are you alright?" Trip asked. "You're acting all... Fidgety..."

  "AD HERE FUCKER!" Adam yelled, spinning around and staring at Trip.

  Trip and Grace were shocked.

  "Okay, Adam, you know what? I think you need to leave."

  "MARCO!" Adam yelled before running off. Trip just walked towards Adam as Grace stood where she was, staring at Adam with the anger of a thousand suns.

  Adam spent several minutes running away. Soon enough, he reached the train station. He ran through the streets of the town.

  "ALL OF YOU ARE STUCK UPS!" Adam yelled at the top of his lungs as he ran.

  Looks of confusion were his only reward for saying that.

  Suddenly, he felt Trip grab him. As usual, he started writhing and flailing about as he dragged him to what Adam guessed was a palace. Trip went through the gates, confusing the guards, and suddenly Trip started to ascend.

  "WHAT THE FUCK!?" Adam screamed. "HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS!?"

  Trip angrily stared at Adam in response. They continued to ascend, and soon reached a balcony, where a white alicorn was standing, staring at the two in confusion. Trip went onto the balcony, still keeping his grip on Adam, and shoved him up to the regal unicorn.

  "Uh... I take it you two are Trip and Adam?"

  "Celestia!" Trip exclaimed, now smiling. "Hey! God, it's been so long since we've seen you!"

  "I've never seen you two before..." Celestia chuckled. "I heard your train had a problem, I hope that it wasn't too bothersome for you-"

  Celestia was interrupted as Adam immediately kissed Celestia in an embrace. Celestia stared at Adam, shocked. Adam backed away after a second.

  "Uh... I do-"

  Adam immediately kissed Celestia again.

  "ARE YOU NOT PISSED OFF AT ME BITCH?" Adam asked before kissing Celestia again.

  Celestia used her magic to shove Adam away from her. Trip was staring at Adam in shock, and Adam was looking at Celestia, angry.

  "I'm... Just going to lead you two to your rooms you'll be staying in..." Celestia nervously said. "And also, Adam? Don't do that again."

  "FUCK THE POLICE." Adam loudly exclaimed, earning an irritated groan from the sun princess.

  "Celestia..." Grace appeared right behind the princess, making her yelp. "Hi! How are you? It's been such a long time!"

  "That's what I said!" Trip told her wife.

  "Nobody fucking CARES." Adam hissed at Trip's so-called 'friend'.

  Celestia could only think of how long the day would last. She had no idea how Ponyville put up with the three.

Trip Saves The Coronation

  Adam hated the fact that most of the castle was empty. That meant he couldn't piss anyone off. The guards, however, just wouldn't react.

  "Where the FUCK is the lesbian book unicorn?!" Adam yelled, walking down the empty, quiet hallway. "FUCK!"

  No response. He continued storming down the hallway until he noticed the sound of the princess he heard earlier.

  "ARE THOSE FUCKERS THROWING A PARTY WITHOUT ME?" Adam loudly exclaimed, looking towards a large door. "I SHALL FIX THIS SCUMBAGGERY."

  He started casually walking up to the door, and proceeded to knock on the door. He heard the room go silent inside. He continued to furiously knock on the door. After a few seconds, the door opened. Trip stood there with a confused crowd behind him. And sure enough, Twilight Sparkle now had a pair of wings on her back.

  "Adam!" Trip happily exclaimed. "Hey! God, it's been so long since we've seen you!"

  "HOLY SHIT!" Adam yelled. "THE LESBIAN BOOK UNICORN HAS FUCKING WINGS!"

  Everyone in the room gasped except for Trip. He just stood there, bewildered. Silence filled the room for several seconds. Trip glared at Adam, and proceeded to shut the door. Adam then started repeatedly knocking in rage.

  "So, where was I?" Trip asked, walking up to Celestia. "I think we were talking about Grace's decorating!"

  "Yeah, I was hoping you could help me with all of this..." Grace told the princesses as she walked up to a shelf that appeared out of nowhere. Trip followed her.

  "Remember Grace?"

  "What?" Grace asked, looking at Trip.

  "Our marriage?"

  "Oh GOD, please don't..."

  "Here, Celestia," Trip started, his arms held outwards. "It was several years ago at Grace's parents house..."

  "Trip, please..."

  Trip kneeled down onto one knee, his arms still held out with everyone in the room looking at him in confusion.

  "I went onto one knee and told Grace..." Trip continued to tell his story, "I held out a ring and said: Grace, will you marry me?"

  Silence filled the room. Trip stood back up with his wife standing next to him, angered.

  "Is that romantic or what?"

  "I... Guess that's romantic..." Celestia nervously replied, not knowing what to do about the situation. Just as Trip was about to say something, however, the door opened up.

  "Your royal highness," The guard told the princess, taking a bow. "There is an unknown creature out here that's been trying to get in here."

  "I GOT IN HERE YOU FUCKERS!" Adam ran into the room, laughing like a maniac. He ran up to Grace and promptly kissed her on the face, much to everyone's shock. He then ran up to Twilight's mother and kissed her on the face.

  "HEY!" Rainbow Dash loudly exclaimed, flying up to the man. "What in the HAY do you think you're doing!?"

  "I'M MAKING MELONS!" He exclaimed, running up to Celestia. To everyone's shock, he kissed her several times.

  "Okay, you know what?" Trip started, making a glare and getting everyone's attention. "I think this evening is over, you got to leave."

  "NO I NEED TO STRANGLE THE YELLOW ONE FIRST!" Adam ran over to Fluttershy as she backed up against the wall in terror. Adam picked her up and held her tightly as Trip grabbed Adam and dragged him out of the large room with the entire crowd watching him.

  "Help me..." Fluttershy begged.

  Trip opened the doors leading to the hallway and shoved Adam out and slammed the doors. A series of knocks could be heard. Trip turned around, now smiling.

  "I should have never invited that one here..." Celestia moaned.

  "Okay, Fluttershy, you know what? I think you need to leave." Trip said, walking through the door much to everyone's shock. After a few seconds of muffled screaming, Trip came back through the door without opening it holding a terrified Fluttershy. He went up to where all of Twilight's friends stood and shoved her back where she first was. Trip then went into the crowd and stood there with his wife, smiling at Twilight as she stood there. The way they smiled made Twilight smirk a bit.

  "Well, I am sorry for the interruptions..." Celestia announced. "But thanks to Trip, we can go on hopefully without any interference."

  The coronation was continued for a few minutes without any interruptions, but Trip then started shaking a small black ball.

  "Hm... Yes..." He read, looking at it. His wife was not amused.

  "Hey, you know what this celebration calls for?" Trip asked, gaining the attention of everyone.

  "OH! WHAT!?" Pinkie excitedly asked, bouncing up and down.

  "This calls for some drinks!" Trip happily said. "How does a martini sound?"

  Trip continued to stand on the balcony watching Twilight going down the road lined with thousands of ponies. Celestia, Luna, and Grace stood next to him.

  "I personally want to thank you for making Adam leave the room when he was being disrespectful." Celestia told Trip as she continued to watch her faithful student.

  "Well, glad to see your on my side tonight." Trip happily replied. Grace showed a bemused expression.

  "That's not what I meant..." Celestia chuckled. "But as I said, thank you for keeping the coronation running and for those drinks you gave everyone."

  "Hey Trip!" Adam ran up next to Trip. "How's Maria?"

  Silence.

  "Wait... You mean... Maria?" Trip asked, making an awkward smile.

  "Yeah, she helped Celestia make melons."

  Celestia's eyes widened. She knew what was about to happen.

  "Okay, you know what?" Trip angrily said. "Adam, I think you need to leave."

  "IT WAS CELESTIA THAT MADE THE MELONS YOU FUCKSHIT! GET THE WHORE!" Adam yelled as Trip grabbed him and put him into his inescapable grasp. Celestia breathed a sigh of relief as Trip dragged Adam off the balcony. Grace just stared with the rage of a thousand nightmare moons that wanted vengeance.

  "I personally find those three pretty amusing." Luna chuckled to her sister as she heard the cheering of the crowd below.

Announcement

  This story is CANCELLED.

  Why?

  Because the writing and the overall plot! It's terrible! I am going to make a fresh, brand-new, melony masterpiece that will make even Adam say "HOLY MELON WTF IS THIS!?!?"

Writer's block is another small factor.

  This story is NOT going to be deleted. You can still read it here, but soon a new and more polished story shall be posted. In the meantime, feel free to read my other stories like It Only Takes A Bite and Night Terrors as me, Trip, and Grace are sucking down our martinis I work on the new story, which will be appropriately titled Trip And Grace Move To Ponyville.

  I hope you have a wonderful melon maria martini filled day.