My Little Pony: Ignorance is Bliss

Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony Friendship is Magic

I wait outside Princess Cadence's castle with my sharpened shovel strapped to my back and my saddlebag loaded with my equipment. Thunder Wing is late. He better have a good excuse. I tap my hoof on the marble bridge impatiently. We should have been at the Diamond Dog's tunnel about an hour ago. I can't leave without him because I still don't know my way around Ponyville.

" How long have you been standing here?" He asks.

" An hour and twenty minutes." I say thinking about how much I could have gotten done if he would have showed up on time.

" Why were you up so early?" He asks.

" I always wake up at that time." I say.

" So, are you ready to go?" He asks.

" Of course I'm ready. Are you?" I ask. He nods, gallops across the bridge and takes off into the sky. I try to keep a close distance between us but his tail keeps getting in my mouth.

" Are you sure you know where you're going?" I ask.

" Of course I do I can see all of Ponyville up here. I have great navigations skills." He says.

" At least one of us does. I can't even find my way around my own house." I say. He takes a quick turn to the right and flies down three small hills. I hide my panting as I scamper underneath him.

" We're almost there." He says weaving between pine trees. I trip over a root and get back up to my hooves again.

" Where is everypony?" I ask.

" Nopony dares to go near this place. Are you afraid of diamond dogs?" He asks.

" Me? No. Of course not. Why would I be afraid of a bunch of slobbery, flea-bitten fur balls." I say. I gaze up at the giant mounds of dirt. The ground starts to tremble beneath my hooves and I hear a loud rumbling noise.

" What was that?" He asks.

" It was probably your stomach. We better start digging." I say levitating my shovel out of the strap.

" What's the matter, don't want to get mud on your hooves?" Thunder Wing teases. He begins digging a hole with his front legs. What does he think I am, some kind of prissy little Canterlot snob? A little mud isn't enough to bother a rough around the edges citymare like me.

" The more dirt you leave on your hooves, the more muddy hoofprints I have to investigate. I don't want to contaminate the crime scene." I say digging deeper into the ground.

" Excuses! Excuses! Mares are all the same. They always don't want to get their hooves dirty." He says. I use my horn to levitate the shovel into he ground and get a giant scoop. Then I fling dirt at his cutie mark.

" Hey, Sprinklejinx! What did you do that for?" He asks as he shakes the dirt off his mane.

" It's a mystery." I say sarcastically.

" I think you're mad at me." He says.

" What was your first clue?" I say.

" I think it was when you tossed the dirt and-"

" That was a rhetorical question." I snap. I jab the ground with a shovel. It hits something hard. I pull a shimmering blue stone out of the ground. It looks valuable. I wonder how many bits I could get for this thing. I could probably sell it for enough money to pay off some bills for my apartment or even bail my brother out of prison.

" Hey! Thunder Wing! Come check this out." I say. I feel something else grab the stone and drag me into the hole. I get stuck from the waist down. I kick my legs around. An ugly dog like creature bites my ear.

" Thunder Wing! Get me out of here!" I say.

" What? I don't understand you. I'm going to get your head out of the ground. Just a second." He says grabbing my tail.

" Hurry up!" I say. The dirt collapses around my face and smothers me.

" It looks like I'm talking to your butt." He says laughing.

He tugs my tail again and I get launched backwards. I topple him over into the mud. " Thank you." I mumble swallowing my pride.

" No problem." He says kicking dirt into my face.

" That was my eye, you idiot!" I say totally forgetting to be grateful to him for saving me a minute ago.

" I don't want to hear any attitude from you. You owe me big time." Says the most annoying pony in Equestria.

" I'm never going to live this down, am I?" I say looking into the hole with a serious face.

" Probably not." He says shoving his whole head into the ground. " Sprinkles, I hear somepony down there."

" The princess?" I ask. He dives into the hole in the ground. I carefully squeeze my way down. A yellow earth pony with a lavender and orange mane and tail is pushing a kart of jewels. Tears are falling from her orange eyes as one of the dogs whip her flower cutie mark.

" Princess Cloud Star!" Thunder Wing says.

" She can't be the princess. She's not an alicorn, she's just an earth pony." I say.

" Oh, I guess you're right." He says. " We better sneak past them and get the real princess."

"Go faster, useless earth pony!" A diamond dog barks slapping her rump. She yelps. She pushes the cart forward a few feet. Sweat drips down her pastel yellow coat.

" Stop it! Please stop it." The earth pony weeps as the diamond dog strikes her once more.

" Knock it off, you big stupid mongrel!" I shout.

" This isn't any of our business." Thunder Wing says.

" That doesn't make it right." I say.

" Shackle them." The biggest diamond dog says. Four diamond dogs dart over to us with spiked clubs. Thunder Wing kicks one in the head. I gallop past them and use the sharpened edge of my shovel to cut the chain off the earth pony's neck.

" Behind you!" She screams. A diamond dog stands behind me on his hind legs with a club in his clenched paws. He lifts it over my head. I quickly turn around and stab him in the stomach with my shovel. I use my horn to float the bloody shovel out of his gut.

Three diamond dogs throw large rocks at Thunder Wing making him fall out of the air. I gallop after them and bash their heads with my shovel. Then Thunder Wing kicks them in front of the cart. I levitate the cart over their bodies crushing their bones under the wheels.

" What do you think of my shovel now?" I ask.

" I got to get myself one of those." He says.

" Thank you for saving me." She says smiling at me.

" Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" I ask.

" No. I don't mind." She says.

" What's your name?" I ask.

" Honey Flower." She says.

" Have you seen Princess Cloudstar?" I ask.

" No, I haven't. Sorry." She says.

" I guess we'll have to just find somepony who has." Thunder Wing says.

" I'll come with you." Honey Flower says.

" Are you sure that you saw diamond dogs capture Princess Cloudstar, Thunder Wing?" I ask.

" I'm not entirely sure. It was so long ago." He says.

" The diamond dog king would know." She says.

" Where is he?" I ask.

" In the bottom of the tunnel. He counts his jewels there." Honey Flower says trotting forward.

" If you help us beat the diamond dog king, Sprinklejinx and I will gladly help you find a way out." She says.

" Sprinklejinx? Why did your parents call you that?" Thunderwing asks.

" My magic controls luck." I say.

" That's a great name." Honey Flower says walking ahead of me. I slow down a bit.

" What is it, Jinx?" Thunder Wing whispers.

" She's nice… Too nice… She might be up to something. I can see right through her sweet little disguise." I say.

" Umm, Sprinkles… Did it ever occur to you that some ponies aren't like you? I think she's cute." He asks.

" I guess you're right. I can't judge her too quickly, but I'm on to her." I say.

" I think she's just friendly." He says trying to catch up to Honey.

" There he is!" She whispers. I slowly creep behind him and smack his head with the shovel knocking him out cold. We tie him in his own ropes and wait for him to wake up.

" So how did you get here?" Thunder Wing asks.

" I was planting tulips all over Ponyville and when I started planting seeds at the mine, the diamond dogs grabbed me and dragged me under the ground. Then they forced me to push carts full of jewels for them for a year." She says shaking the dirt off her coat.

" That's awful." I say.

" Did you ever try to escape?" He asks.

" Once or twice, but then I suffered the consequences. The only pony I know that escaped was Rarity." She says.

" Look he's waking up!" Thunder Wing says.

" Where is Cloudstar?" I ask sounding intimidating.

" I'm not telling you." The king says.

" If you don't, Sprinklejinx is going to beat you with her shovel." Thunder Wing says. The diamond dog kind cackles. I jab his stomach with the shovel and twist it around in his intestines. Thunder Wing notices a deep bite mark on my ankle from the previous battle.

" Are you alright? Does that bite mark hurt? Can you walk on it?" He asks.

" We're supposed to be interrogating him, remember?" I ask.

" Where is the princess?" I repeat.

" Ow! Stop! Okay! Alright! She escaped three years ago." He says.

" Where?" I ask.

" I don't know. She'll be no use to you anyway." He chokes. I yank the shovel out of his stomach as he yells out in pain.

" She might still be alive. We better keep moving." I say retracing my steps to the exit of the tunnels. I make sure to put a few gems in my saddle bag on the way out.