My Little Pony: Ignorance is Bliss

Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony Friendship is Magic

I open my eyes and move my hooves over to my throbbing head. I hear a loud jingling noise and something stops my hooves from reaching my head. Then it hits me. I'm chained to a wall. To make matters worse, all my friends are chained up beside me. How could I have been chained to a wall. Where am I? I levitate the ransom note in front of my face. I hold it up to the light. Hoof prints can be seen on the corners of it as well as talon marks. That's strange, I levitated it around with my horn I never touched it with my hooves. There must be some pony else involved, but who?

" How did you guys get caught? You were invisible!" I say.

" I thought that we could ambush them. We were way outnumbered." Thunderwing says.

" I can't believe I got us all into this mess." I grumble.

" It's okay, Jinx! It's not all bad. Being chained is kind of fun. Jingle! Jingle! Jingle!" Pinkie Pie says thrashing about.

" Would you be quiet, Pinkie? I need to find us a way out of here." Twilight says.

" What's that foul stench! It's revolting?" Rarity says trying to put her hoof over her nose.

" It smells like dead ponies. I bet they trapped us in the mausoleum." Honey Flower says.

" Who do you think it belongs to?" Rainbow Dash asks.

" Somepony very classy. Only fancy ponies have graves above the ground." Applejack says.

" Maybe even royalty! Maybe Cloudstar's body really is in here!" I say.

" What is that!" Fluttershy whimpers pointing at a dead earth pony lying on the floor.

" Look at all those flies buzzing around it!" Rainbow Dash says.

"Ew! What are at all those little worms crawling all over it? That's disgusting." Rarity says.

" They're maggots. They're baby blowflies. In a few days they'll go through metamorphosis. It looks like the eggs have just hatched. According to their life cycle, I think this body has been dead for almost ten days." I says.

" The poor little things. They're going to get eaten by those spiders." Fluttershy says.

" These kind of places are great for spiders to live. It's dark and full of bugs to eat." I say.

" I hate bugs!" Rainbow Dash says.

" Spiders are actually called arachnids." Twilight says.

" Whatever. If it's small and has too many legs it's a bug." Rainbow Dash says.

" Those pesky critters are always getting' all over mah crops." Applejack says.

" Oooh! Oooh! Remember the one time when Fluttershy infested our town with parasprites and I got rid of them by causing a marching band?" Pinkie Pie asks.

" Uh, no." I say raising an eyebrow.

" I don't think I recall that." Honey Flower says.

" Oh, that's because you weren't there when it happened." Pinkie Pie says.

" I smell something yummy." Derpy Hooves says.

" What? The scent of rotting flesh?" Rarity says.

" Noooo. Soup!" Derpy Hooves says pointing her hoof at Gilda holding a pot of boiling liquid.

" Soup? Why would any pony be making soup?" Rainbow Dash asks watching Gilda stirring vegetables in the pot.

" Something seems kind of fishy to me. We better get out of here." Thunder Wing says pulling the chains.

" Aren't you staying for dinner?" Gilda says licking her broken beak.

" I sure am. I love soup!" Derpy Hooves says.

" Don't you get it, Derpy! She's trying to eat us!" I say.

" You wouldn't want to eat me. I'm nothing but skin and bones." Rarity says.

" Let's add some carrots." She says cutting them up with her knife.

" I love carrots!" Derpy Hooves cheers through her watering mouth.

" Add some sugar!" Pinkie Pie says.

" Don't encourage her!" Twilight Sparkle scolds.

" W-wouldn't you rather be a vegetarian, like me?" Fluttershy asks.

" And be a puny little pipsqueak chained to a wall! NOT A CHANCE!" Gilda screams in her face. Fluttershy's ears flop down and her eyes close tightly.

" Leave Fluttershy alone!" Rarity says.

" How would you like to be my taste tester?" Gilda asks.

" I would rather eat worms." Rarity says spitting in Gilda's face.

" That could be arranged." Gilda says grabbing the knife in her claws and scooping the grubs out of the earth pony body. Rarity closes her lips as tight as a vice. Gilda pierces Rarity's stomach with the knife. Rarity screams and Gilda stuffs the grubs in her mouth. They crawl around in her cheeks. Gilda puts her claws around Rarity's neck trying to force her to swallow. Rarity heaves and gags as the maggots slide down her throat. Blood pours out of her wound and she vomits on the ground.

Fluttershy puts her hooves over her eyes and sobs.

" Rarity! Are you okay?" Applejack says. Rarity doesn't answer. She just cries softly.

" I am kind of your friend. Maybe we can sort things out. I'll give you money and stuff and you can let me and my friends go." Rainbow Dash says.

" I'm not in it for the bits. I just want the meat." Gilda says.

" What are you going to do with the ransom money?" Honey Flower asks.

" I have friends in high places. Do you actually think I'm enough of an egghead to think of that code myself?" Gilda asks.

" No. A birdbrain like you couldn't think of a plan that diabolical if their life depended on it." Thunder Wing says.

" You seem awful cocky for someone who is going to be squished like this spider." Gilda says stabbing a spider crawling on the edge of the pot with her claw.

" Spider! Where? Get it off!" Derpy yells as she squirms around. Her chain breaks and she drops to the floor. My horn glows and a beam of light hits Gilda. It looks like her luck just ran out. Derpy looks back at the broken chains. "Oops." Derpy Hooves looks inside the soup pot. " Do you need some help?" Derpy asks.

" Sure, why not!" Gilda says putting an onion into the soup.

" What are you doing?" I ask.

" Helping with the soup." Derpy says.

" Get us out of here!" Twilight whispers.

" Pass me the salt." Gilda says.

" Okay." Derpy grabs the salt shaker with her hooves. She trips over the earth pony's body and dumps the salt into her eyes. Gilda puts her wings over her stinging eyes and falls into the giant scalding pot of soup. Her body struggles under the cloud of steam.

" Derpy, put the lid on the pot!" Twilight says using her horn to hold her down with magic. I use my magic to keep her in  the pot.

" What do you want me to do?" She asks.

" Put the lid on the pot." Applejack says.

" I don't know how." Derpy Hooves says picking up the lid.

" Think about it as a muffin. The lid is the top part and the pot is on the bottom." Honey Flower says.

" Now lift it up and put it on the top of the pot. Hurry!" Thunder wing says.

" The LID goes on the TOP of the pot?" Derpy says holding the lid upside down.

" Yes! Didn't your parents teach you to do anything?" I ask.

" No." Derpy Hooves says.

" I can't hold her much longer." Twilight says.

" Come on, Derpy! You can do it!" Applejack says.

" Go,Derpy! GO!" Pinkie Pie cheers. Every pony joins in and roots for Derpy.

Derpy sticks out her tongue and furrows her eyebrows in intense focus and puts the lid on the pot. Twilight relaxes her magic.

" Great job, Derpy Hooves." Rainbow Dash says.

" YOU DID IT! WOOHOO!" Fluttershy screams.

" I did?" Derpy Hooves says. Rarity smiles and nods. I levitate my shovel out of a casket and break the rest of the chains. I look at the casket lid. It has a dollar sign engraved on it. Filthy Rich!

" It's Filthy Rich's mausoleum. He wants the money." I say.

" Are you sure?" Thunder Wing asks.

" Positive!" I say.

" We better stop him before more ponies get robbed." Honey Flower says.