When I Wake in the Morning

Imagine the trippiest and bizarre morning you have ever had. You wake up, have no idea where you are, clothes on you don’t remember even owning, and a massive headache. Well that’s nowhere near what I woke up to that day.

“At last! The great and so called ‘mighty’ hero falls! ” yelled a deep, feminine voice.

Looking up from my viewing point, I saw the weirdest fucking thing ever. It was big, about ten feet tall, had large cyborg arms and a face carved from the mix of an alligator and a cell phone. With looks like that, it’s hard to be pleased with yourself, but she was doing a pretty fine job of it.

“ Now, nothing shall stop-“

“Excuse me?” I asked, slowly standing from what I could guess was rubble. “But who are you, and what the fuck are you?”

It looked down at me in total shock, a mixture of rage, fear, annoyance and joy running across shortly after.

“H-how is this possible? I just defeated you!”

“Yea, that’s great. Now answer my question, who and what are you?”

It just stared at me for a while, its eyes twitching and reddening.

“I-I am the rebirth of the great goddess Sin; the keeper of the gems of New Harmony and the only true ruler of Equestria!”

And that made no sense to me. Either I was on the most powerful drugs in the world at that moment, or it was some lucid dream.

“That’s great for you. So am I able to ask where I am?”

“D-Dark Moon?” said a sad weak voice behind me.

I turned to meet a group of creatures lying on the ground quite injured. A girl with pink hair who seemed to be wearing as little as possible while still trying to call it clothes, a blue horse with a rainbow mane, and some little blue dude; have I been sucked into a anime?

“Dark Moon? Are you okay?” said the little horse. For a reason lost to me, I found this to be more shocking than the mutant Sin goddess behind me.

“Holy shit! It talks?!”

It seemed to take that comment right to the heart from the pain across its face after hearing my words.

“I-it?”

Having enough of this weird dream, I decided to head for the exit, which was helpfully pointed out by some giant doors pointing inward with sunlight poking through.

“Okay, fuck this, have fun whatever you guys are, I’m leaving.”

And with those parting words I left the place. After leaving though the doors, I didn’t wake up as I hoped, but was instead greeted with some epic scenery. A large valley lay before me, with large mountains to the left and right stretching onward to the horizon. The valley floor was covered in the densest forest I had ever seen, except a large horizontal burn mark going half-way through it.

“Hero, Shouldn’t you be fighting?” came an old croaky voice to my right.

Turning, I was met with another horse, but this one was completely grey plus old and wrinkled.

“Ew,” was all I said as I walked past and down these large golden stairs leading to the forest.

Call this what you want, but so far this dream had great potential. Once I got down to forest level, I found a path already cut through the large vines and weeds, convenient was all this place seemed to be. The path was narrow but still easy to walk through. While walking, it gave me time to ponder what had just happened.

First of all, the small horse had called me ‘Dark Moon’, so that must be my dream name. Second, Sin the goddess said she was the true ruler of somewhere called ‘Equestria’, which must be the place I was in. Thirdly, talking horses and giant cyborg gods, had I been dragged into the future? That would make one hell of a story.

I walked on like this for a while, just thinking to myself, until I came across a river. It flowed crystal clean and was very inviting, it also reminded me about how thirsty I was; a quick drink and I would be back on my way.

The water was frankly the freshest I had tasted in a long time, defiantly a nice change from tap water and better than the crap you buy from supermarkets.  I wished I had something to take some with me, seeing as the river might split from the path anytime soon. I realized that I should check what I had on me first, something I hadn’t done since I woke up.  Looking down I found myself to be wearing… nothing.

I was naked. But that was okay, because where my skin should have been was fur; fuzzy dark blue fur. This was starting to make me panic and I tried to look at myself in the water, but it was moving too fast to catch a reflection. I ran down the river side and down a pool of non-moving water and gazed down.

My face was a horses face, long snout and fur all over. A mane of dirty gold mixed with sky blue swaying in front of my brighter blue eyes. I was a horse. Checking the rest of my body only confirmed my mind, hooves, tail, and wings all accounted for. Turns out I was a Pegasus too.

Enough was enough, even with dreams, and now was the time I wanted to wake up. I brought a fist, or a hoof, and smacked myself across the face. Nothing but pain. I tried it again only to feel more pain. I tried again and again but to no avail. There wasn’t any way I was going to wake up from stimulated pain, and while asleep I couldn’t bring any real pain upon myself.

Left with only a headache and disappointment, I walked, sorry trotted, down the path once again, descending deeper into the dense forest. What a way to start the day, an Up-and-Go would have been nice.