The Ballad of 47

by Unholy_rarity

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Princess Celestia, DJ P0N-3, Dark, Nightmare Moon, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure
Length: 4566

This is the story of 47. No, not him. Not the cool guy. Why does everyone think that?

This is the story of 47

No no no, not the 47 everyone thinks. This guy is a lot different

He's a news reporter until things went very bad. Now he's out for revenge and with the help of some misfits and er... Nightmare Moon(?) he will lead a revolution, save some folks and who knows, maybe pass out in few ditches along the way.

Also murder. Because why the buck not!? :D

And a lot thanks goes to Chaos Eclipsed for the wonderful OCD editing he did to the story in our shop class. Hey if it was not for him you would barely be able to read it

Published 2013-02-13 01:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-16 06:00:05 UTC

chapter one

chapter one

It’s a cold black night. The air sends chills down everypony's spine. 47 is approaching his bed, looking back on the events that have happened as of late. Feeling his morality kicking in he takes off his gun and lays it on the table. Flopping down on his meager bed he looks up at the roof. Sleep quickly overtakes him.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

"Honey?" said gentle voice "Honey, you’ve got to wake up or you're gonna be late."

"I'm awake darling." 47's eyes quickly snap open and looks at his wife. "Maria, you look so beautiful this morning." he smiles looking her up and down, admiring her deep blue eyes and the curves of her body.

"Oh, you're so silly! I haven't even had time to get ready yet!" she giggled then out of nowhere, a small figure jumped in the bed.

"Morning daddy! I missed you last night! You were working late and I didn’t get to see you before mom put me to bed."

"Its okay sugar plum, I promise I'll be home in time for you to see me tonight." 47 smiles and kisses 48 on the head.

"I made the best grade on my test yesterday.” 48 said, awaiting a response from 47.

"That's wonderful I'm so proud of you. In fact we should go have ice cream to celebrate!" A hoof clap echoed throughout the room.

"Well now, you can't be late for work. Today is big day for you." Maria said overjoyed while forcing him to the door.

"Alright just quit shoving me. Now, where's my goodbye kisses from my girls?" he chuckled as Maria and 48 lined up at the door. 47 kissed his wife and then proceeded to kiss his daughter on the head. He put on his hat and walked out the door into the streets of Canterlot.

<><><><><>

A long walk later, he is in front of Canterlot Daily, the news company he works for. He slowly walked through those big doors and hopped on the elevator to ride up to the top floor. He was going to meet with his boss about the big scoop that they scheduled to post today.

"This right here is the scoop for the ages! 47 we’re gonna go places. Princess Celestia killing prisoners of war without trial! I don't know how you did it, but this is golden baby!" said Printpress.

"I'm glad you think so, sir. I'm honored that you like it." 47 replied enthusiastically.

"Not just like it, I love it!" Printpress said, looking out the window, when suddenly they heard breaking glass. Before they could find out who caused it, they were out cold due to a blow to the head.

<><><><><><><><>

When 47 regained consciousness, he was in the middle of the town square, bound in chains. To his left were his wife and daughter. They were both in chains as well, his daughter crying. Maria was so scared she couldn’t even move to look at him. He sees Printpress to his right of his wife.

"Now lets get down to brass tacks.” A voice said. 47 looked over to see Princess Celestia. “You all are accused of treason. We all know the penalties for such actions!" she yelled. "I shall now administer justice, to highest extent. But, seeing as there’s a child among us, I shall not be as rough on the filly." She smiled, deciding that the child shall live her life working coal mines under royal watch. Celestia looks at the crowd."The rest shall be put to death." Out of the top of the day sky, a dark blue figure floated down gracefully. It was princess Luna.

"Now Tia, don't you think you're being a bit harsh?" Luna said, looking worried about the lot of them.

"You dare to question me?" Celestia snapped, directing her rage towards Luna.

"No, I don't.” said Luna “But I do wish that you let me bless the dead." She frowned as she finished.

"Fine, but be fast about it." Celestia waved her hoof. Luna walked up to Maria, placed her horn on her shoulder, then skipped his daughter and patted her horn on 47’s shoulder as well. A discrete flash of magic happened and he heard a whisper from Luna.

"The end is near for you. I'm so sorry, I wish I could do more, but I will do what is best for your daughter, now embrace death."

47 slumped over at this. He saw his wife get shoved off the cliff. she screamed until when she hit ground. For a few moments, there was a deathly silence until it was 47’s turn. He hit the ground and death overtook him or so it would seem.

His lifeless body laid there for hours, but he was far from dead. He was having a meeting inside his own head.

<><><><><><><><>

47 glanced around to see red walls when a black feminine shadow appeared. Not able to make out who it is he hears it begin to speak. "Death does not suit you well." it whispered. 47 remained silent out shock and fear. "At a loss for words I see. Well, I saved your life, you should be thanking me" It smiled. 47 was just realizing who the voice was.

"Princess Luna? You saved me?" inquired 47.

"Not Luna, foal! its such a... proper name.” She spat. “I prefer Nightmare Moon."

"But why me? Why not my wife?" 47 asked, his ears drooping on his head.

"Because she was weak! She doesn't have the fire you have. Tell me, do you feel the hate? The lust for revenge?" Nightmare moon asked.

"Yes I do!” 47 nodded vigorously. “I want to avenge my wife and get my daughter back!"

"Oh? This is splendid! I was afraid you wouldn't be up for living again and I'd just have to let you die." Nightmare Moon smiled. "Now all I ask in return for your life is loyalty and your soul. Give me these and I will help in any way I can." Nightmare Moon finished with a chuckle.

"Is that it?” 47 asked in disbelief. “Yes, you can have them! As long as I get what i want!" He began to smile, hope rising in his chest.

"Perfect." Nightmare Moon laughed. "You must first travel to Dodge City. Don’t worry, I have plans for you there. You will meet a very specific pony. Don’t worry, you’ll know him when he finds you. I leave you with that. Now, go!" She yelled.
The place 47 was in flashed to black. He awoke on the ground next to his dead wife. Sighing in despair, he closed her eyes and kissed her on the head. "I guess... this is goodbye. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you, but I promise I will make it right." He began to cry, soaking the ground in his tears. He searched her neck, finding a heart shaped locket with a picture of his family in it. He took the locket and put it on his neck before leaving to find Dodge City. He could tell that he had a long walk ahead of him.

chapter 2

About two days have past since he undertook his quest for revenge. He has slowly been walking for days until he arrives in a small town. He’s not sure of its name but as entered, he heard a familiar voice inside his head speaking to him. “Don't be alarmed it is only I!” Nightmare Moon yelled. 47 shuddered due to the yelling inside his head.
“I'm not alarmed, just in some minor pain.” 47 snapped back
“You best watch your tone, as it is not many a day royalty screams into your head.” Nightmare Moon chuckled.
“Yeah, yeah, thanks a lot for splitting headache. Do you have anything to report to me?” 47 asked.
“What? Can't I just drop by your head to talk?” Nightmare moon asked.
“No, you can’t. I’m kinda busy doing the job we set out to do.” 47 said, clearly annoyed.
“You’re absolutely no fun. But yes, I have update for your plans. You are to look for a very important pony. She is working on a cannon of sorts. You are to assist her in any way possible.”
“Okay? but how do I find her?” 47 asked.
“Why would I ruin the fun for you?” Nightmare Moon laughed.
47 felt his eye twitching. Sure he had sold his soul, but this was not what he had sold it for! He gritted his teeth, continuing his trek into the town. The town was full of nice two story houses, a couple of humble one story houses and 47 managed to spot a tavern off in the distance. He trotted at full speed hoping to pick up some rumors about the pony he needed to find.

<><><><><><><><>

He opened the doors to find a unicorn sitting in the corner with two other unicorns. 47 discretely listened in on their conversation while taking a seat at a nearby table.
“Come on charlie!” the pink unicorn cried.
“No guys, anytime I listen to you two it always ends up bad for me.” CHarlie sighed as he took a drink.

“Come on, Charlie! You just gotta believe in the giant orange and purple chicken that shows up every night at midnight! Believe, charlie!” The blue unicorn yelled. 47 couldn’t tell if he was drunk or just legitimately excited over a magic chicken.
“No guys, I’m done. I’m fucking done. When I looked into the mirror this morning, i asked myself, ‘What am I going to put up with today?’ You know what? its not. Fucking. THIS!” he yelled as he walked out of the bar. The two other unicorns chased after him. 47, oddly intrigued by this rumor, decided that he would test it out later. 47 moved closer to the bar and ordered a few drinks.Unfortunately, nothing of interest was said for about several hours, so he took to the streets around midnight to test this rumor.

<><><><><><><><><>

47 was now in the town square. Its very empty and no honest pony is out at this time.
He stood, idly watching the clock for when it strikes midnight. At midnight, he heard twelve very specific dongs of the clock, one after another, appreciating the rings for some reason.
“Huh,” He shrugged. “I guess it was just rumor” 47 started to walk off when out of nowhere a loud crow rang through the air and in a flash he saw it. A big orange and purple chicken in just straight up flying through the sky. It was flying closer. 47 was tracking its movement and just as it flew overhead it dropped a large object onto his head with such force that he was knocked unconscious.
When 47 awoke, his head was swimming. Taking a moment to regain his senses, he found that it was still very late. Checking the clock tower he was surprised to find that it had only been an hour so since he been knocked unconscious.
47 glanced around. Everything seemed normal until he looked at his hooves where he noticed a golden egg resting in his grasp. He picked it up and felt it, cheking its surface for any identifying marks. He found none, but the egg appeared to be made of solid gold. Finding this a bit odd, he decided to keep the egg, feeling that it was somehow important... or maybe it was just the head trauma talking. 47 started to wander around this empty town when he found a park full of trees. Laying down and propping himself up against a tree, 47 was about to fall asleep when he heard a cry from off in the distance.
“Hey, get your hooves off that! Dude, I am about to go ballistic on your ass!”
47 yawned and went to check on this disturbance. As he approached it, he saw some royal guards harassing a white unicorn with a two toned blue mane.
“You are disturbing the peace of this town with your music.” One of the guards said. “As the law clearly states, we must stop the disturbance as we see fit. As such, we are taking your equipment to insure this never happens again.”
“Oh, no! You are not touching my shit!” The mare screamed in rage as she was forced to the ground by the guards. “Do you know who the fuck I am? I’m Vinyl Scratch and nopony fucks with my equipment!”
“That’s the one you’re looking for.” Nightmare Moon whispered to 47, sounding quite pleased with herself.
47 grabbed a nearby (and conveniently placed) rock and proceeded to club both guards in the head.
“Whoa, dude. That’s some metal shit you just did right there!” Vinyl beamed, thanking her savior.
“It was nothing.” 47 replied, waving his hoof. “Just doing my good deed for the the night.”
“Wait a second... holy shit! You're that guy I saw earlier standing around the square! You must’ve been waiting on our fabled chicken. I saw it drop an egg on your head, dude and you were like ‘whoa!’ for a moment and then you passed out. I ran up to check out that golden egg. i tried to take it, but even if you were unconscious you weren't having any of it. You were flailing around protecting that thing like it was your child.” This entire monologue, Vinyl had been acting out her words using her hooves, waving them around.
“Heh, it’s nothing. Just an egg.” 47 chuckled, thinking about the mishap.
Vinyl waved her hoof. “You know what man? I don't care,Ii just owe you one. Where’re you staying tonight?”
“Over by that tree.“ 47 said, pointing back to the park. If you squinted, you could just make out the tree in the distance.
Vinyl burst out in laughter. “Now now I can't leave a friend sleeping out in the park!” as she finished, she grinned widely. It was the kind of grin you never want to see on a pony who’s standing right next to you. Or ever, for that matter.
“No, no. I'm fine. Really.” 47 waved a hoof nervously trying to ward her away.
“I insist! I’d love the company.” vinyl laughed again, but this time it wasn’t accompanied by that weird-ass grin, which relieved 47. Then from inside his head he heard Nightmare Moon speak to him.
“Just do it.” She snapped at him. “As far as I am concerned, you do whatever she wants you to do until we’ve got her buttered up enough to join us.” Despite only hearing her voice, 47 could tell that Nightmare was smiling, when she suddenly let a snicker slip past her facade.
47 felt like he is the center of some massive joke. Nervously, he asked, “What’s so damn funny?” Nightmare Moon and Vinyl both ignored him, so with nothing better to do, he followed Vinyl back to her hotel.

<><><><><><><><><>

The elevator doors swung open on the ‘penthouse floor’.
Vinyl flopped down onto her bed. “Welcome to my room!” she smiled.
47 inspected the room for moment. There was a large amount of electronical parts that he wasn’t quite sure what the purpose for them was. The room was also full of food wrappers and other various junk, including several articles of clothing.
“It looks like teenager lives here.” 47 thought disdainfully.
Vinyl yawned. “Welp, find place to sleep. There’s a couch around here somewhere … Maybe under some of this?” Vinyl proceeded to dig through a nearby junk pile.
47 glanced at the bed.
“Whoa, mister. I'm not sharing a bed with you. I appreciate what you did but not that much man.” She frowned at him, glaring from over the edge of her glasses.
47, not having the courage to hop into the bed, found the couch (in a different section of the room than where Vinyl had been searching) and cleared the junk off of it. Taking a deep breath, he fell into the most peaceful sleep he had had since these events started to unfold.Unfortunately, he was going to need that sleep because in few hours, things were going to get hectic.
<><><><><><><><>

It was afternoon-ish when 47 awoke.
Vinyl was already at the table, eating. “Morning, sunshine.” she smiled.
47 smiled back. “Can I have some of that?” he asked staring at a beautiful cheese pizza.
Vinyl threw a piece at him. 47 caught it skillfully in his mouth. “So what’re the plans for today” He asked, his mouth still full of cheese.
Vinyl chuckled. “I’m gonna run some errands, but you can't be hanging around looking like that.”
47 felt somewhat offended by that statement. “Then what do you suggest ?“ he asked.
Vinyl walked towards the closet and pulled out three outfits, none of which 47 was happy to see, and placed them on the bed. Front and center was a cheerleader outfit. Just beyond that sat a maid’s outfit and then the last piece of clothing was an overly fancy dress with tons of lace. Like, TONS.
47 Stared at the outfits, horrified. “I can't wear any of this!” He shouted, frowning at Vinyl.
“You can if want to hang with me.” She replied, winking at him. “I’m never seen in public with a guy, so if you’re gonna be hanging with me you gotta look the part.”
‘Am I really going to do this?” 47 thought to himself. When Vinyl’s stare didn’t waver, he sighed to himself. “Ah... I guess I am...”
“Damn right you are!” Nightmare Moon laughed into his head. “Besides, I think you would make a cute mare.” by now, Nightmare was cackling into his mind hysterically.
47 sighed and grabbed the maid’s outfit. Walking into the bathroom to change he muttered to himself, darkly. “This is so fucking demeaning.” His ears drooped on his head, as if they knew he was clearly losing all his stallionhood in this moment of time. Very hesitantly, 47 pulled up the lacy panties. He had always wondered why mares wore these when they wore clothes, but any other time they wouldn't next them. Next, came the socks. He pulled them up and over his hind legs. Turning to look at the rest of the outfit, he sighed very loudly.
“You're such good sport.” Nightmare Moon giggled. “If it reassures your ego, you can have me after this is all done and you’re a real stallion.” Nightmare Moon burst out laughing. “Okay, no, I couldn't say that with straight face.” She continued to laugh. “I’m sorry, i just couldn’t--” Her laughter reached a peak.
47 snorted through his nose. “Hey, now. I might just hold you to that.”
“Please do.” Nightmare Moon purred. “Because if you have a chance to hold me to it, then that means we would have won.” She sighed wistfully, before turning back to the matter at hoof. “Now put on your damn dress!”
47 sighed and slipped in the dress. He turned to look in the mirror and get a good view of himself. “You know what? I’d do me.” 47 said reassuring himself. “I totally would.”
“So you're actually getting into this?” Nightmare Moon asked, her laughter gone. “This is... unexpected.“ She stayed silent for a moment before letting out a loud groan. 47 could almost hear the facehoof. “Oh, alright. I can't bare to see my best warrior demean himself like this. I will handle this personally!”
His head went silent. 47, confused, glanced around the bathroom, jumping when he saw a large, blue, alicorn mare with a starry mane was standing next to the door.
“Princess?” 47 asked, surprised.
“It’s queen, foal.” Luna said, reassuring 47 that he was talking to Nightmare Moon. “Now please accompany me, as I have to talk with our friend.” she smiled her voice eerily pleasant compared to how she spoke into his head. Opening the door, they left the bathroom.
“Whoa, when did a princess get in here, man?” Vinyl bowed her head as Luna entered the room.
The princess waved her hoof. “Please, you don't have to be so formal.”
Vinyl hopped back up, a relieved expression on her face. “Boy am I glad for that. I'm never this formal.” She giggled. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Well, I hear you had a bit of trouble with some royal guards earlier today.” Luna smiled. “And just so happens, I'm having problems with royalty myself.”
“Princess Luna, are implying what I think you are?” Vinyl asked cautiously.
“Indeed. My sister, Tia, is not a moral leader. If she is to continue to rule, Equestria is doomed.” Luna frowned. “I am afraid it will be the end of you, too. My sister has caught wind of your plans to make your... bass cannon project a reality.” Luna’s expression turned to a smile. “But I can keep you safe and keep my sister out of your hair. But first, I have one request. Could you perhaps keep doing what you're doing and on top of that, maybe make them more useful for, erm, personal use?” Luna put on a small smile. 47 could tell it was a show, but it was more than enough to fool anypony else.
Vinyl smiled back. “Does my dishwasher clean with wubs?”
Luna stood there silently, awaiting an answer to this most... curious of questions.
“That’s a yes.” Vinyl chuckled, as the dishwasher in the next room opened with a loud ding. Listening closely, you could hear several wubs escape the machine as it opened, before it shut off entirely.
“Oh, from the looks of this place I thought thou did not possess a dishwasher.” Luna laughed. Vinyl and Luna both sat there and laughed for a few moments as 47 stared at the pair, utter silence surrounding him.
Vinyl looked up at Luna “But I’m gonna need some help with this.” She cast a glance at 47.
Luna smiled. “I will give you my best soldier.” She waved her hoof around dramatically for few moments before pushing 47 forward a few inches. “But I expect no funny business out of you this time.” she chuckled, the sight of 47 in a maid outfit still standing right next to her.
“You got it, boss.” Vinyl said, waving her hoof in an attempt to assure the princes, before bellowing at 47. “Give me hand with this!” as he trotted over, she adjusted her shades. “On second thought, get out of the dress. You can keep the lace, though.”
“It appears my work is done here.” Luna said, teleporting out of the room with a flash of light.
47 returned to the bathroom, most of the maid outfit already discarded.
Once he was out, Vinyl smiled at him. “Alright! Now, I’ve got enough plans to keep us busy for months!”

<><><><><><><><><><><>

“You see that bottle way out there.” Vinyl pointed “Take our freshly designed wub-rifle and hit it.” She handed him the rifle in question. The rifle was jet black with several glowing blue parts on it. The barrel was long and narrow, perfect for long range shooting. The butt of the rifle was also painted black. A scope rested on top, several rings around it glowing a bright, neon blue. Several tubes were attached to different parts of the rifle, attaching to other parts at the opposite end. Kind of like that plasma rifle from fallout three, but this isn’t a crossover so we can’t use that. Everything other than the tubes is different, though (see above.) Also, this isn’t what’s going through any of the character’s heads, because buck them, that’s why.
47 squinted, barely making out the bottle in question. “How the buck am I supposed to aim at something I can barely see!”
“Well, gee. I guess that means that you--that’s what the bucking scope is for, genius! This baby can hit things up to 3 miles away with pinpoint accuracy. Boasts enough firepower to explode a ponies’ heart if I calibrated it right, too. If not, oh well. Lets just see if she can handle the current target.” Vinyl grinned in excitement, bouncing slightly on her hooves.
47 held up the rifle. Looking down the scope, he took deep breath and squeezed the trigger. A large kick knocked his shoulder back hard enough to bruise while a loud WUB echoed through the area. The bottle shattered into a small cloud of glittering glass shards, each one so small it could float on the air as if it were dust.
“Well, it certainly isn't discreet.” 47 said in awe, blinking to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him.
“Well, of course it isn't!” Vinyl beamed, hoof-pumping. “Shock and awe baby! Also, this is just the first model. Wait till you see what I have in store for later!”
With Luna’s protection, production of these new weapons began immediately. This continued for several months. In this incredibly conveniently placed timelapse (because we don’t want to illustrate constructing these things. The chapter’s long enough as it is), the pair filled several boxes of new and pristine wub-rifles, as well as some experimental technology that needed to be tested. Unfortunately, their work was about to be halted. 47 was hearing an all too familiar voice inside his head, talking to him for the first time in months.
“I spared you all the time I could.” Nightmare Moon whispered. “Royal agents loyal to my sister have been dispatched to dispose of you and to get their hooves on your weapons. You're not going to let this happen. Board the next train and take the armaments out of town. If they find you, you will die.”
47 informed vinyl of the news. Together, they rushed to move the boxes onto a cart outside. After an hour, they finally got all of it loaded on to the cart and proceeded to the train station. The driver had to be paid off with a few bits, but he let them store the cart on the train. Together, they sat by the goods. As the train was about to leave, they heard screams coming from train cars further ahead.
“Uh, what do you think’s going on.” Vinyl asked, pacing nervously.
“I think they found us.” Just as the words left 47’s mouth 5 ponies rushed through the door. They were civilians, all of whom were clearly worried to death.
47 tilted his head at vinyl. She kicked one of the boxes open and threw him a wub-rifle .
“Lets make sure we don't lose my babies.” she smiled.

“Tell them not to worry.” 47 said, smiling back. “Daddy’s home.”
Four colts in the group spoke turned to them as one stepped forward. “You have weapons! Please, let us fight with you. We lost family back there.”
47 smiled back at them. “Grab one, then! The more ponies we have on board, the sooner this can be over!”
After the group armed themselves, they lined up and pointed the guns at the door. Also, Vinyl had to show them where the trigger was at. Guns were kind of a new thing, you see.
“Now, wait for the doors to open and just unload the whole damn thing” 47 whispered to the others.
They sat there in silence for a few moments.
Then the door swung open....