One Heart
Look at the birds. Even flying
is born
out of nothing. The first sky
is inside you, friend, open
at either end of day.
The work of wings
was always freedom, fastening
one heart to every falling thing.
I lay back and let my wings press into the cool fluff of the cloud and study the blue sky. Blue, blue, and more blue... it always amazes me just how far the sky extends, touching every corner of Equestria and every land beyond. Endless openness and endless freedom that other ponies can only taste with the help of vehicles and magic—or a little pegassistance. And even then, only briefly. For me, it's life. It's as much a part of me as breathing.
Ponies play in the fields beneath me, chasing each other through the grass, laughing. Ponyville isn't perfect, but it's simple. Maybe that's the problem. The disasters are what always surprise me. Parasprite infestation? Changelings? Dragon attack? Bring it on. That's when I feel like I'm worth something. That's when I feel like I belong somewhere, when I'm with my friends fighting off some threat to Equestria.
And then it's this again. Rain and snow. Putting clouds in the sky, taking clouds out of the sky. It's quick work, and it's all a part of keeping Ponyville in order. It gives me enough time to focus on what I really want to do. But the flying, the Wonderbolts, it all feels so far in the distance. Sometimes I feel like I can't push myself any harder, that Ponyville is holding me back.
“I don't want to play today,” I sigh, rolling and kicking my hooves through the cloud. It bends into a bowl shape and a little sprinkle of water rains down below. A second later I hear a yelp from a young mare and peer over the side to see if she's okay.
The orange-maned mare drips a bit and shakes her hoof at me. “Stupid pegasus. Think you can just make it rain whenever and wherever you feel like.”
“That's not what—”
But she's already gone on her way. I groan in frustration and flick my wings. The soothing power of the cloud mist seems to have lost its soothingness. I can't sit still any longer, anyway.
I throw myself into the sky and spread my feathers, soaring for one of the updrafts around the town. It catches me and I feel incredibly light, and I race up and up with only a few pumps of my wings.
I stop when the air is thin and cold and look around. Equestria spans in all directions, miniature houses and tiny ponies wandering between them. I can see all the way to Canterlot, and the mountains that spiral outwards from it. Then the wind moves me and I start flying. I close my eyes and pay little mind to the direction. It's just me and the sky and nothing between us.
Even without looking I can feel the airways of the sky, chutes of heat and wind forming distinct pathways across the country. They appear in my mind as funnels of blue light and sound, twisting to and fro. Before the advent of trains it wasn't uncommon for pegasi to travel between the cities in numbers, carrying cargo or mail or even pulling passengers. Sure, trains were faster and safer. But every day the skies of Equestria were a little emptier. A little more lonely.
When I open my eyes again I'm somewhere over a range of blue-capped mountains and I know exactly where I am. Part of me wishes I didn't. Part of me wishes that I could manage to get lost in this landscape, but it's impossible to get lost from the sky. Even from the ground, you would only need to look for the highest mountain and follow it straight to Canterlot.
I keep going. I fly until I can't see the rail anymore and any trace of civilization is hidden behind mountain peaks. Then I swoop down, letting myself free fall until I almost hit the ground. I tilt up, let my hooves tease the grass, and then glide until I'm slow enough to land without so much as denting the ground beneath me.
“This is a pretty good place,” I tell myself. Judging from the sun tipping towards the horizon, I've been flying longer than I realized. I've worked up a good sweat and I'm still breathing heavily even minutes after I touch down. I find a small stream running down from the hills--snow melt--and drink until my stomach almost numbs with cold. I shiver, and I love it.
The arms of the mountain wrap around the valley, concealing it with snow dusted crags and a thin treeline. There are birds and rabbits and other animals, but they all keep a fair distance from me, echoing my presence with nervous calls and chatters. I ignore them and graze, just soaking in the atmosphere.
I feel like the valley is mine, that I belong to it and it belongs to me. The solitude is a little dizzying. I pace through the dandelions and the tall grass and the occasional patch of crow berry. I eat and drink and find a stray cloud, bringing it low so I can relax without having to worry about being seen. By who? I'm not sure, but the thought of being discovered makes me tense up, so I don't take the risk.
I'm the fastest flier in Ponyville, probably in Equestria. Maybe all of the world. I can cover miles in a single jaunt, but my entire life I've only rarely strayed more than a town or two from Cloudsdale, and never into the frontier. I close my eyes and imagine what the rest must look like. I imagine the ocean rolling endlessly beneath me, guiding me to distant and exotic shores. I imagine other ponies in other lands, and dragons and gryphons and now just thinking of returning to Ponyville seems like I'm giving something up.
Laying there with a bellyful of grass, I know that I could make it on my own wherever I decided to go. Food, drink, and shelter were easy. There had to be a thousand little places like this that no pony ever visited, just waiting for my hooves. A hundred new faces, new friends I could meet. New adventures and feats for me to accomplish.
The itch gets stronger. A restlessness has taken over my head and won't let go, making my hooves stir and my wings burn. I want to go farther, to see just how far I can go. Some ponies might call it running away, but to me it feels like the only way forward.
When I go to water again, I catch my reflection and the now purple sky above me, and I can't help but think of Twilight. “I wonder what she would think about this place?” I ask myself, looking around. The more I look, the more I realize there's nothing really special about it. A lonely mountain valley, and nothing more.
Now I can't stop thinking about my friends, imagining them all here, chattering about their days and their projects and Rarity trying not to stain herself on the grass. I think about all the time we've spent together and I can feel my hooves on the edge of some abyss. I could leave, then, and I could leave them all behind. I could go my own way and live wherever the wind takes me. I could stop when I felt like it, and move on when I felt like it, and nothing would be able to tie me down.
“Who am I kidding?” I laugh at myself. “I would never leave those ponies alone.”
The very idea of suddenly disappearing from their lives fills me with such a terrible guilt, and I can't possibly imagine what I was thinking when I took to the countryside. The valley seems much smaller now and shrinks into the back of my mind. I begin the long flight home.
It's well past midnight when I return to Ponyville and the streets are dark. I skim past my cloud house, shaking a little, and drift towards the library. I search the windows, hoping, and my heart leaps a little when I see a bit of candle-light behind one. I fly over to the study window and rap a hoof against the glass.
Twilight shifts from the darkness and opens the window. “Rainbow? What are you doing out this late? Is everything okay?”
I climb over the sill and land in the library. Then I grab Twilight and hug tight, my wings curled shut at my sides. “Everything's fine,” I say. “I just really wanted to see you.”
Soon there will be questions, and I'm not sure what I want to tell her. But for just a moment, she holds me, because she knows I need her, and she needs me. Our friendship is enough. It didn't matter what happened in Ponyville as long as my friends were there. And if that should ever change, I know that my wings would always be able to take me anywhere in the world.
But I hope they always take me back to them.
