"So, we have to not only go through a bank, a military outpost, a museum with an aquarium and the center of town to get to the hospital?" Francis asked. "Isn't this some grade-A bullshit..." He rubbed his temples as he let out a dissatisfied groan. "let me go to the john before we go."

As the door was shut, Bill took a seat next to Fluttershy. She averted her eyes as he rolled a new cigarette in his mouth.

"So, I guess while were going to be together, why don't you tell me about yourself?" He asked.

"O-Oh... Um alright. What do you want to know?"

"Well," he shrugged. "Did you have a job?"

"Oh yes, I was the towns and the forest veterinarian. I took care of all the critters, like dogs, cats, fish, birds and bunnies... Bunnies..." She sniffled. "I miss Angel so much."

"Well alright now, no need to cry." He said rubbing her back. "I'm sure whoever it is, is perfectly fine. Why don't we talk about... News. Has anything interesting ever happened there?"

"W-Well..." She sniffed. "Discord pranked Celestia during the royal sun celebration. He dumped jello on her as she took the stage."

"Discord? Celestia? You all have some strange names." He laughed. "Kid, listen, whoever you have back there, I'm sure they wont have to worry... Heck, you just proved not even an hour ago a Tank couldn't mess with you if it tried."

"B-But... They'll know I'm gone." She said. "I was supposed to go to the spa with-what is that smell!?" She covered her nose.

"Francis!" Bill yelled. "Use some damn air freshener!"

"Damn Molotov cocktails..." Came the response.

Bill face-palmed.

"B-Bill," Fluttershy said. "Why don't you tell me something about yourself. Well, what's your full name?"

"My name?" He nodded. "Bill, Fredrick Sampson." He nodded. "Ya know, I can still remember when the infection hit. Damn massacre where I was at." He rubbed his head. "Men... Women... Even damn children were turning on each other. I took my M-16," he nodded to the gun on the table. "And went to a church. And then they started to ring the bells..." His eyes became distant.

"B-Bill...? Bill, are you alright?" Fluttershy asked, snapping the old man out of his trance.

"Wha? Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just... It was just horrible. I knew so many of those people... Neighbors and old veteran buddies of mine... And I had to shoot all of them." A single tear rolled down his cheek before disappearing into his beard. "I had to shoot them all..." He said getting up.

The door opened and Francis came out, buckling his belt.

"Alright, I'm ready." He said, picking up his shotgun and Fluttershy.

As they opened the safe door, Francis spoke again.

"Oh yeah, were also out of toilet paper now." He laughed.

The survivors rolled their eyes at the biker as they went down the alleyway.

Fluttershy was shaking, her eyes darting to every shadow and dark corner they passed. Francis had his shot gun lowered, apparently enjoying the quiet.

"Flutters, how are you doing?" Francis asked as they turned a corner. "Hold that thought." He made a good sized hole in a zombies chest. "I hate zombies."

"I-I feel sick." She said, witnessing the gore.

He looked down at the gore a pursed his lips. "It's the blood and guts, isn't it?" He asked as they entered a green painted building. "You don't have very many fights in you place, do you?"

"N-No... The last war in Equestria was over one thousand years ago." She said. "B-But we never had any zombies."

"Hm," he grunted. "That sucks."

"W-What!?" She gasped. "How could you say that!? Aren't you sad, knowing all of them were once other living beings? Or that they could be friends or family?"

"You know, you would have been right at one time, but" he shrugged. "I never really cared about others all that much. My whole life was composed of failure, being fired, anger and sadness... A lost love." He frowned. "Yeah, I do care about these three knuckle heads. In a way... They are my family. And that's all I could ask for." He smiled. "That and a shotgun and some new vests. Maybe a shower too." he lifted his arm and smelled. "Oh dammit! That stinks!"

They entered through another doorway, a few tiles uplifted by age and poor cleaning.

As they walked through the hall, Fluttershy loosened her grip slightly, relaxing in the quietness.

She was quickly woken up by Zoey kicking in a door.

"Huh, a candy store." She said in surprise. "The street should be clear of infected. Come on."

As they passed though, Francis looked around, as if looking for something. With a laugh he ran over to a shelf a picked up a sucker in yellow wrapping.

"Chewy pops!" He said. "I remember these form when I was a kid! I loved these things!" He took a few and slipped them into his vest pocket.

As they left, the alarms went off and the three survivors looked at Francis.

"Whoops." He said. "My bad."

As the alarms went off, the sound of an approaching horde was heard.

"Ok, were low on ammo and there's a horde coming this way. I suggest we run." Bill said.

"Running?" Francis sneered. "Just follow my lead." He kicked down the sensors, the alarm was still blaring. "Come on, we can hide in the ceiling."

The others merely groaned but still listened to him.

He stood up on the counter, letting Fluttershy up first. After she was up, he crawled in and then hoisted Louis up. They helped Zoey and Bill up after, and just as the horde found it's way to the store.

They sealed the hole and Francis turned on a flashlight. His grin was hidden by the shadow.

"Great, now were stuck up here until they leave." Louis groaned.

"Hey," Francis spoke up. "If we hadn't have come up here, then we would be having to run away. We're all tired from lack of sleep. They wold have caught us and chowed down on our asses."

"He's got a point." Bill said. "We would have stopped at some point, even adrenaline can take someone only so far. But outrunning a horde, forget it."

"Oh dear..." Fluttershy said. "What if the alarm wont cut off? How long are we going to be up here?"

"I don't know." Zoey said. "But it beats being down there."

"Hang on," Francis groaned. "I'll go shut it off. Here, you take this, I have a spare." He said handing Fluttershy the flashlight.

As he crawled into darkness, Fluttershy listened to the sounds of the horde below. They were trampling and smashing just about everything from what she heard.

"Well," Zoey said. "Who wants to bet he'll come back with his fingers nearly burnt off?"

Fluttershy gasped sharply.

"It was a joke Fluttershy." She said. "Morbid, but still a joke. So, do you know any?"

"Um... A few. Why?"

"Maybe a few light hearted ones could help cheer us up." She said.

"W-Well, there was a gorilla with a pick axe walked into a bar and..."

The back of the store

"Come on you piece of crap!" Francis said angrily.

He touched two of the wires together and caused a spark, the alarm went off and he grinned.

He put away the pliers and rubber gloves, picking up his shotgun, he was about to crawl back into the vent when he heard a growl.

"I hate Hunter's." He said.

Out from behind a pair of boxes, a hooded head popped out. It bared it's blood caked lips and gave a screech.

It jumped out as he blew a shell into the boxes, sending jelly beans flying. It gave a growl before jumping at him.

He smirked and stepped to the side, putting a hand over his eyes as he watched the sparks fly. He gave a huff, kicking the smoking corpse of the Hunter.

"Now I remember why I liked being an electrician." He grinned. "I just like electrocuting things."

He pushed himself back up in the enter after eating some jelly beans. He crawled around a bit before seeing the others laughing.

"What's going on here?" He asked. "I almost get killed by a Hunter and I come back to find you all laughing your damn heads off."

"I'm sorry Francis, but she told a... Not so very good joke. But it was the best one I've heard in a long time." Louis laughed. "Oh, you almost got killed by a Hunter?"

"Louis."

"Yeah Francis?"

"Shut up."

"I love you too buddy."

Francis rolled his eye sin the dark, he turned his flashlight off as Fluttershy handed hers back.

"Now, we just wait for them to get bored." He said. "And that gives us time to sleep." He grinned. "If anyone wakes me and were not in mortal danger, I'll shoot you myself and then feed you to the vampires."

"Zombies." Bill said.

Francis raised a middle finger.

They all laid down, nearly at the same time falling asleep.

Fluttershy was shaking, from the dark and wondering how they could be sleeping, knowing there's a horde of flesh eating monster below.

"Hey, Flutter's." Francis said. "You cold?"

"J-Just a little." She said.

"Here, I know it's not much, but it should fit. You can wear it at night if you want." She couldn't see him, but she heard him twist and grunt. She jumped momentarily as something was laid across her back.

She touched the fabric and knew it was his vest. She coughed quietly from the smell. It smelled like alcohol, air freshener, blood and something else worse than vomit, but it kept her warm. It kept her safe from the ghosties.

"Hey, Flutters... When we pass by a clothing store, with actual clothes. What do you say we go shopping and get you a vest?"

"That... would be nice. Thank you Francis."

"No problem, now, go to sleep."

She smiled slightly, finding his grouchiness refreshing and comforting. She curled up on the ceiling, dreaming of her friends.

And her new friends.

Author's Note

The joke:
A Gorilla with a pick axe walks into a bar.

He sits down and orders a drink, but the bartender stops him.

"Sorry, but we don't allow miners." He said.

It was horrible, I know. But I had to do something with that.