An Interdimensional Rainbow

by Tom From Myspace

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Romance, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 10686

Rainbow Dash gets ported to our dimension. Oh, and she's a human now. And you need to help with this predicament.

Equestria is such an awesome place. Kind natives and friendly attitudes make it hard to ever consider leaving. And an incredibly awesome cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane adds a bit of incentive to stay, too.

But, as a human who somehow wound up in Equestria (As a pony, no less!), you knew you'd have to leave some time.

After returning to the realm of humans, you plan to return to your mundane life as an average person in college. That is, until the previously mentioned cyan pegasus appears to have come through the portal as well. And to top it off, she's been transformed into a human.

Just how will this all work out? Stay tuned to find out!

*************************

Also, constructive criticism is encouraged. This is my first writing in a long time, so I'm a bit rusty.

Thanks to Nataliadsw for letting me use this pic.

Published 2013-02-21 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-27 07:10:13 UTC

That Obligatory Intro

You sit against a tree with your forehooves behind your head. You watch the weather team at work and breathe in the fresh air as you listen to the faint sounds of “Rope” coming out of the headphones beside you. You can hear the grating guitar solo start, and glance over to your side. Jamming out to the Foo Fighters is a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane. It had to be one of the funniest things ever witnessed; a sky blue pegasus head banging to the Foos. The oversized sunglasses she wore just made it all the more hilarious.

Man, I wish I had a camera! This is gold!

As the song came to an end, Dash catches you staring with a smirk on your face. She takes off the headphones, and pushes up the sunglasses.

“What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” You reply, unable to hide your smile.

“Yeah, sure. What’s with that smirk?” She asks.

“What smirk?” You answer, earning you a hoof to the gut.

“Whatever.” Dash says, giving you the headphones. “I really liked the song.”

“Yeah, you looked like it.” You wheeze.

That gets a blush out of her, and she hoofs the iPod back to you. She looks so cute everytime she blushes, and it’s rather easy to notice.

Not that I think she is cute.

Oh, please.

Shut up brain. It’s just weird. I can’t like her like that... can I?

Mmmmaaayyybeeeeeee?

You realize you’re staring and turn away, feeling heat come to your face. Now it’s her turn to smirk.

“What’s on your mind?” She asks.

“N-Nothing.” You stammer.

“It’s me, isn’t it. My awesomeness is making you jealous.” She says, smiling smugly.

“Shut up Skittles.” You say, earning another punch.

“Oh, Sharpie.” She coos.

Why did I tell her that nickname?!

Yes, she called you Sharpie. You’d have never brought it up, but the name had stuck long ago. People had been calling you Sharpie ever since you had fallen victim to a horribly awkward prank. Basically, when a dozen Sharpie pens and a bucket of glue are involved, then the words “Bad Day” might as well be written on the bucket.

People. You begin thinking about your whole situation, and bring up your unanswered questions once more. How did I get here? Why am I a pony? How is that possible? And how am I talking?

You had been just an average human college student, doing average college...things, when the next thing you knew, you were in the land of Equestria. You still don’t know how, though it’s likely portals were involved. And you still don’t know why you were transformed into a pony either. You met Rainbow two months ago and became fast friends. You still have no idea why, either. She just seemed to like you after she got to know you a bit. You’d kept trying to explain you weren’t even a pony, but it’s doubtful she ever cared.

But the main thing on your mind, and which had been on your mind since you figured out what was going on, was getting back to earth where you belong. You put the iPod back in your saddlebag alongside a water bottle and some apples.

“Enough”, she laughs. “Lets get back to flying lessons.”

“Yeah, flying lessons. Do those come with a free punch too?” You ask sarcastically.

“Of course!” Exclaims Rainbow as she hovers off the ground.

You roll your eyes, and give a chuckle.You give your wings a sturdy flap, and fly up next to her. She smiles at you, and gives you a light punch on the shoulder. The two of you have a quick laugh, and then you resume your lessons.

“Today, I’m going to teach you some tricks.” Rainbow says, a smile on her face.

“Really? You think I’m ready for that?” You respond.

“Sure do. You totally learned fast enough to do some.” She answers.

“Alright. Teach away.” You say.

She nods, flying up to a nearby cloud. You follow her, somewhat awkwardly. She says you’ve excelled at flying, but you don’t see how.You were still barely able to fly steadily, let alone fast enough to do tricks. You think you hear a snicker coming from Dash as you land on a cloud.You look over to your teacher, and nod.

“Alright, let’s start. Watch me.” She says, taking off.

“Wilco.”

“Let’s start you off with something easy,” She says. “I call this one, number twelve.”

“Number twelve?!” You respond, bursting into laughter.

“Shut up. I’m bad at coming up with names, so I just number them ‘till I get an idea.” She snaps.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. Are you going to show me or not?” You reply calmly.

“Of course.” She says, speeding off.

You watch intently as she zips about in the sky. She pulls off every twist, turn, loop, and dive without a hitch. She was breezing through it, and all you saw was a multi-color blur of loops and spins. She lands again, standing proudly on the cloud.

“Yes, thank you, thank you. No applause necessary.” She says, smiling smugly.

Once again, you’re dumbfounded and just sit there.

“Wait a sec, you just wanted to show off your new trick, didn’t you?” You ask, narrowing your eyes at her.

“Well...yes,” She replies. “There a problem with that?”

“Nope. Just making sure.” You say, smiling now.

“Tell me, on a scale of one to awesome, how good was that?” She asks.

“Point ‘oh’ one.” You answer.

She frowns and lowers her head, lips trembling.

“Dash, you know I didn’t mean that. It was incredible! My heart is still racing... and I don’t think I could pull it off.” You say.

She looks up, grinning. “Really? It was that awesome?”

You blink, then blush. “You...”

“Hehe, guilt trip. Always works.” She says, chuckling.

“No fair.” You say, still blushing.

“Who said anything about ‘Fair’?” She counters.

“Point taken.” You respond.

“But seriously, you wanna try some tricks?” She asks.

“Uh, no thanks Dash.” You answer.

“That’s cool,” She says. “You wanna hang out later?”

“You know it.” You respond.

“Cool. Just come on by...whenever.” She says, a bit dismissively.

“Sounds like a plan.” You reply.

She gives you a smile and takes off to her cloud house in the distance. You sit on your ass for a moment and get in a fight with your brain.

No. Nu. Nuh uh. Don’t even think about it, brain.

Think about what?

Her.

Hmmm... Nah. You’re attracted to RD. Heeeeheeee.

Shut it brain.

Nope. And stop arguing with yourself. It’s pretty weird. You know what you like. But take time to decide now, and take it slow if you do decide to start a relationship.

Yes, ‘mom’. I get it.

You remember what happened last time, right?

YES! SHUT UP!

You sigh, and look over to Dash’s house in the distance.

Am I really?

Yes.

But I...

Yes.

But what about...

Man up already.

But she’s a pony, and I might be returning to earth soon. Speaking of which, I should probably check on Twilight’s progress.

You jump off the cloud holding your forehooves in front of you, as if you’re diving. You hold your wings to your sides and increase in speed dramatically. Soon, tears are running down your face as the wind stings your eyes, and that’s when you decide to end your fall. Wings flared out, you slow your descent and level off, now gliding your way over to the Library. You notice a eerie, bluish glow coming from all the windows of the library treehouse.

You land in front of the tree, and knock on the door. Twilight answers, and looks a bit surprised at first, but then a grin washes over her.

“Oh! You’re here. I was just about to go look for you.” She says.

“What? W-Why?” You ask, a bit surprised yourself.

“You know how I’ve been working on some spells Princess Celestia sent me after our visit?” She queries.

You nod, expecting the worst.

“Well, I’ve finally got a way to send you home!” She answers, with a smile.

Aaand, boom goes the dynamite.

Going Home

“A way home?” You ask immediately.

“Yup! I can send you home tonight.” Twilight answers, still smiling.

“Uh, great, I guess.” You say.

“Is something wrong?” She inquires. “You seemed so eager to get back to your own dimension.”

Part of you is drawn to go, but the majority is saying you’d rather stay. Everypony here has only shown you kindness, and love, and care. It would be hard to leave them all behind so suddenly.

“Umm... no. Everything’s fine.” You force a smile.

“Alrighty then... Would you like to see the portal?”

Your curiosity peaks. “S-sure.”

“Follow me!” She sing-songs.

You follow her inside, and into the main room. On the wall you see a glowing blue oval that looked awfully familiar. Through the center was pitch black darkness. You stare at it.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight questions.

“I don’t know. The portal just seems familiar.”

“Oh. That’s... something.” She stares. “Well, I had worked on the spells, and finally came up with one that works! This portal should lead right back to your home world...hopefully.”

“Wait, what do you mean ‘Hopefully’?” You respond.

“I tried to place another portal in an area where your DNA was... most concentrated.” She states.

“How does that work?” You ask.

“Do you really want an explanation?” She counters.

“On second thought, forget I asked. But, how did you...get my DNA?” You answer.

“It should be the same here.” She says.

“What should be the same?” You shoot back.

“Your DNA. Your mane for example.” She responds calmly.

“Wait, why wouldn’t my DNA change?” You ask.

“Do you want me to explain this, too?” She counters, raising an eyebrow.

You shake your head. “When am I gonna be leaving?”

“Tonight if you’d like. I just have to finish up a couple things, and it should be ready to go. Be here around eight.”

Your head droops, and you turn to leave. “Thanks Twilight.”

She blinks in confusion as you exit the library, but brushes it off and returns to work.

********************************************************************************************

You head to the center of town, and find a place to sit and think for a bit. You know how hard it can be to say goodbye, and ponder just leaving without doing it. But what would they think? What would AJ think? Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Spike. What would they all think? Worst of all, what would Rainbow think?

Knowing AJ, she’d probably be mad that you left without saying goodbye. Honesty is her thing, after all. You know Pinkie would probably be hurt. Hell, she’s friends with everybody. It’d be flat out rude to leave her without so much as a goodbye. Though you didn’t form much of a relationship with Fluttershy or Rarity, you still like them. Though saying goodbye wouldn’t be as imperative, the kind thing to do would be to tell them you were leaving soon at the least. Spike, though, is pretty much your bro. You know he’d be fine with a “See ya around, man.”

Rainbow though, she’s the one to worry about. Not because you think she’d cry or anything, no. She’d never let herself come off as “Sappy” in public. It’s more of the long term hurt you’d put on her for just abandoning her like that. So far, she’s been your best friend. She’s been awesome in every single way imaginable, too. No, the last thing you’d ever let yourself do is hurt Rainbow.

Speaking of Rainbow, you take a look at the clock tower. After checking the time, you get off your ass and head off in the general direction of her house. You’re still not sure of what to do, but try and ignore it for now. Maybe hanging with Rainbow will help get it off your mind.

You fly off towards the edge of town, waving to ponies below as you pass them. As you get closer to her home, you slow down and take in its beauty. Liquid rainbow flowing down and gentle wisps of rolled clouds make up the base, and the remainder is a house that looks rather elegant. To top it off, the whole place feels like a giant pillow! You land, and go to knock on the door, and notice a note stuck to it.

It reads “If it’s you Sharpie, you can just come on in. Anyone else: Go away. I’m busy.”

Busy with what? Napping?

As per the note’s instructions, you head inside. You hear things shuffling around in the next room, and decide to investigate. As you enter the room, you see a multi-colored blur whipping around. In the blink of an eye, whatever had been out has been put away, and Rainbow is now standing before you. You blink, a bit stunned by the speed and precision of her organization.

“So...what were you working on?” You ask.

“Working on...?” She stalls.

“Your note said you were busy with something.” You explain.

“Oh, that? That was just an excuse.” She says, waving a hoof.

“Excuse?” You reply, confused.

“Yeah, so I wouldn’t have to deal with anypony else right now.” She explains.

Eh, I guess that makes sense.

“Uh, alright then.” You respond.

An awkward silence begins to brew. The both of you begin looking around the room as you try and think of something to say.

“Wanna go fly for a bit?” You question.

“You never have to ask.” And with that, she’s already out of view.

Once outside, the two of you fly towards the Everfree Forest, land on some clouds, and begin talking about...things. There’s really no specific topic, it’s just a conversation. You’re both lying on a cloud, Rainbow resting her head on your chest, and just chatting away. Eventually, the conversation turns to you. While the two of you talk, your brain starts another debate.

Tell her.

No.

Why not?

Because.

You know I can think for a reason, right?

What?

If you DON’T tell her, then you’ll just hurt her more. Really, it’s better to tell these things to people.

Ponies.

Is that really important? If she were human, you’d be ALL OVER her. Who could give a flying fuck?

Brain, STFU. Like now.

Powering down.

Haha, very funny.

You notice Rainbow staring at you.You quickly realize you’d been staring into space for the better part of three minutes.

“Sharp?”

You sigh. Your brain is right. If she doesn’t know, she might not take that news as well later. Hell, you know what it’s like when people don’t say goodbye.You can’t imagine putting that kind of heartache on Rainbow. I mean, you know both of you are very close. Really, you can’t imagine putting it on any of the ponies you’ve befriended since you’ve been here. But you can’t imagine putting it on the cyan pegasus currently using you as a pillow.

“You okay Sharp?” She asks, sounding concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You lie.

“Is something on your mind?” She queries.

You sigh again, “Yes.”

“What?” She responds.

“Twi found a way to send me home.” You fake a smile.

She blinks, “Well, uh, when are you going?”

“Twi wants all of us at the library by eight.” You explain.

“You’re going tonight?” She blinks again, sounding a bit hurt.

“Yeah. Everything okay?” You respond.

“Uh, yeah. Everything’s fine.” She says, clearly lying.

Normally, you’d call her out on it. But you understood the lie. You’d probably lie too if you were in that position, having your best friend suddenly leaving.You look down at her, and notice that she’s just staring off into space. You assume she’s just trying to process the news, and look back over the forest. You watch the clouds roll by on their own, which is quite contrary to how it works in Ponyville. It’s peaceful over the forest. It’s a good place to go when you just want to forget about things that trouble you. Especially losing a best friend like this.

“W-we should probably get to Twi’s.” Rainbow says, standing up.

She sounded different now; her voice almost had an empty tone. To this, you slowly nod, and look down.

You whisper to yourself, “I really don’t wanna go. I really really don’t. I love it here. Everything’s great. I’ve got more friends here than I do there, and not to mention you... Rainbow. You’re just...beyond amazing.”

She didn’t hear it. Your little adventure has come to an end, and it leaves you feeling almost sick. You came here, just waking up in a field, and were welcomed by the entire village. Everypony met you, welcomed you as though you were their own kin. Pinkie even threw you a party that everypony attended.

You don’t get that kind of treatment on earth. You’re just kinda that guy in the background; the guy who's not depressed, but not overly happy. You choose to be alone a lot of the time, and spend almost all of it in your room. You have friends, yes, but they’re not close. They’re just people to have fun nights out with. Here in Ponyville you were out with Rainbow, who you’ve grown so close to over the past...however long, almost ALL of the time. However, you do miss your family, even if it’s just your brother and your mother.

You look at Rainbow. She’s hovering in place, waiting for you to go. Without a word, the two of you head off towards the library.

********************************************************************************************

The library comes into view, still glowing that blue glow from earlier. You glance over to Rainbow, who looks a bit confused, and land in front of the library. Before you can reach up to knock, Twilight opens the door. She seems excited for some reason.You just assume it’s because of the portal she’s created, and ignore her grin. Entering the treehouse, you see the other four ponies you’d come to know so well and of course, your bro, Spike the dragon. You smile sadly at them, and turn to Twilight.

“So...this is it?” You ask.

“Yes. This portal should send you back to your home.” She answers.

“But, what about my form? How will I change back to a human?” You counter, trying to make up a reason to stay.

“I thought you might ask!” She responds quickly, “The Princess included an enchantment to cast on this portal. Anypony who goes through will become a human on the other side. Simple!”

You open your mouth to ask a question, but close it again. Trying to get into the specifics of magic is not something you’re going to do again. You look at the five ponies behind you, and notice they’re all smiling sadly. All except for Rainbow, that is. Never had you seen a face more neutral than hers was right now. She looked as though she’d had all emotion stripped away in an instant. It hurts so much, but it’s time to go. After all, you still have a life back on earth. You open your saddlebag and take out your clothes.

You sigh, “Well...I guess this is goodbye.”

“Ah’m gonna miss ya, sugarcube.” Applejack says, stepping forward and giving you a hoofshake.

“I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss you as well.” Rarity adds, giving a reassuring smile.

“Umm...have a safe trip.” Fluttershy says quietly.

"I’m gonna miss you a bunch. Hope you have fun back home!” Pinkie smiles, and places a cupcake on your head. You can’t help but smile.

Last but not least, Dash steps up. Neither of you say anything. Instead, she just hugs you tightly. You hug back, the smile vanishing.

She pulls away, “I’m gonna miss you, Sharpie.”

“I’ll miss you too, Skittles.” You answer.

For once, she doesn’t punch you. She just nods. You turn towards the portal, and take a deep breath. You look at Twilight, who smiles back and even gives you a little wink. You blink, but continue on.

“Goodbye everyone.” You say as you step through the portal.

You stumble forward, and land with a thud. Wherever you are, it’s dark. You reach out in front of you, and push open a barely closed door. Your closet. Of course you had to come back in your closet. The light hits your hand, and you stare for a few moments. It feels awkward, yet perfectly normal to have hands again.

Coming to your feet, you stumble a bit as you remember how to walk. Being on four legs for so long made this feel just as awkward as having hands again. Once you get your balance, you pull on your shirt and pants and head to your door and check to see if anyone’s home. You call down the stairs, but get no answer. The house is empty. You put your phone on the charger, and head downstairs. You decide to grab a bite to eat, and just as you open the fridge to grab a snack, you hear a thud from upstairs. It sounded like it came from your room.

Learning to Walk Again

The fuck was that?

Confused, you head back up the stairs. The first thing you notice upon entering your room is the GIANT ORANGE OVAL IN THE BACK OF THE FUCKING CLOSET. You take that in for a moment. Wasn’t the one back in Equestria blue?

Well, I guess you could say that Twilight was thinking with portals!

Shut up. You’re making it embarrassing to be your brain.

Aw, come on. That was funny!

No. No it wasn’t.

As you stand there staring at the back of your closet, you hear someone groan.

Oh don’t tell me.

50 bucks says Twilight tripped into the portal.

And you say I’m the embarrassment.

Who made the Portal joke again?

Fuck you, brain.

Just see who it is, you twat.

You look down at the floor in front of your closet, and notice that there is in fact someone there. Sprawled out on the floor before you is a girl. She looks about five and a half feet tall, and has hair colored in the pattern of a rainbow. At least, that’s the most one would be able to gather considering that she’s laying face down on the floor. Oh, and to top it off, she’s naked.

You feel blood and heat rush to your face, “Rainbow Dash?!”

“Agh, ow. I think I hit my head.” She says, propping herself up on her hands and knees.

Now, you turn around before the blood in your face decides to head south for the winter. The room is totally silent, and you decide to glance back. Rainbow seems mesmerized by the fact that she has hands. She’s staring at them, balling up a fist and wiggling her fingers. It’s understandable, considering she’s never actually had hands before.

Instead of having a verbal panic attack, you recede into the recesses of your mind...and flip absolute shit.

WHAT THE FUCK!?! WHY?! HOW!? WHEN!?

Woah, calm down! Don’t yell at me! I don’t know what’s going on!

PROVE IT!!!

I’m you, dumbass.

Oh, yeah.

Now calm down.

Calm down?! RAINBOW DASH IS ON MY FLOOR!! DO YOU THINK THAT CONSTITUTES CALMING DOWN?!

Yes. And whatever you do, speak calmly to her. Don’t freak her out more than she will be already. We’ll need time to figure everything out.

DUDE! TIME IS SOMETHING WE MIGHT NOT HAVE ON OUR SIDE!

Well, we’ll find out in due time. Now shut up, and be a good friend.

Fine, we’ll settle this later.

You snap back to reality, and look at Rainbow. She’s whipping her head back and forth, trying to figure out where she’s wound up.

“What the? Where am I?” You hear her ask, a tone of panic in her voice.

“You’re on Earth.” You reply calmly.

“Huh? Earth? Wh-who the heck are you?!” She yells as you become more important than her hands.

“The first pony who went through that portal.”

“Sharp?” She questions, blinking.

“Yup. Welcome to my dimension, Skittles.”

You glance back at her again. She looks incredibly confused, even a bit scared, and is sitting on her knees. She looks around the room, observing her new environment. She then returns to staring at her hands as her fear turns into curiosity.

“What are these?” She questions, moving her hands around.

“Hands.”

“What?”

“Hands. You’re a human.”

“A what?”

“A human. One of my kind. The things Lyra is obsessed with.”

“Wait, they exist? They’re not just myth?”

“Yup. We’re real. And you’re one of us now.”

The room goes silent, and you assume that Rainbow is examining her new body some more. In fact, she’s sitting there trying to process the information... while messing with... yeah... But it’s not like you’d actually know that. Your back is still turned to her. Now, your brain decides to argue with you again.

Be a man. Turn around and help her get used to this.

Do you ever shut up, brain?

No. No I don’t. Now turn around, throw her a blanket or something, and help her.

You grab a blanket from your bed, and in one swift move, turn and throw it at her. She just stares as you completely miss and hit the closet door. You feel a blush creep back into your cheeks as the embarrassment sets in. Dash bursts into laughter.

Nice shot Kevin Garnett.

FUCK. OFF.

You realize that you’ve been staring at her, and look everywhere but directly at her. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a smirk cross her face. She turns to pick up the blanket, and you glance over at her as she does. She’s really putting a lot of extra movement into just reaching for a blanket, wiggling her backside to and fro. You blush deeper as you realize she’s trying to tease you.

She’s succeeding, too. She is absolutely stunning. Literally. You are just stunned. She's about 5’5”, and looks as though she’s athletic. You expected that, knowing how active she is. But you didn’t expect her sex appeal to be so...high.

She has an absolutely amazing body. Hell, if you just change her hair color she’d be the dream girl for a few of the guys you knew. She has a cute face beneath her rainbow hair with beautiful violet eyes. She appeared to have a bust bigger than you’d expect on a girl so athletic, but you don’t question it and praise the miracles of magic for that. Currently, though, the most obvious feature is the cutie mark she’s shaking in front of your face. Yes, she still has her cutie mark on her ass, considering it was her flank not more than a half hour ago. She makes a motion with her hips that probably would have been a tailwhip in Equestria, and you snap back to reality.

“I’ll get you for that.” You say as you turn around again.

You can hear her laughing, and a blanket hits you in the back of the head.

“Sure you will. And Twilight’s the next princess of Equestria.” She says, sarcasm dripping from her words.

You toss the blanket back at her, “Just cover yourself up.”

“Why?” She wonders.

“Because you’re naked.” You respond.

“And?” She asks, curious.

“You probably shouldn’t be.” You answer.

“Why not?” She counters.

“Because...it’s a taboo to us. You wear clothes about 99% of the time as a human.” You tell her.

“And you do this why?” She prods.

“Because...well, look at your body. You don’t have fur anymore. Since we don’t have fur, we invented clothes for warmth... and such.” You explain, albeit poorly.

“Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense.” She says, attempting to cover herself with the blanket.

You watch as she attempts to perform a basic action for the first few seconds. She was having just a little trouble with her hands. It reminded you of when you had gained hooves, except it seemed to be much less awkward. It doesn’t take her long to get the hang of using fingers, and she manages to wrap herself in the blanket.

“Well...that’s settled. Now, what are you doing here?” You ask.

She smiles sheepishly, “Uh, I don’t exactly...know. I kinda...fell into that portal or whatever.”

A thought suddenly dawned on you.

“How are you gonna get back?” You ask.

“Um, I don’t exactly know.” She answers.

You give an exasperated sigh, and facepalm.

“Please tell me you’re joking.” You state.

“Nope. Looks like I’m stuck with you, Sharp.” She responds, frowning suddenly, “Why? You don’t want me here?”

“What? No! No no, you can stay. It’s just...you don’t belong here. I thought you might want to get home.” You answer quickly.

She narrows her eyes at you, trying to see if you may be lying. You just stare back blankly. After a few seconds, she backs off.

Smooooooooooooth.

Shut up.

Hmmmmmmmm, nah.

“Well, yeah. Of course I want to get home. But I’m not gonna pass up the chance to explore this place.” She says, glaring at you a bit, “It seems pretty cool.”

“Um, okay then?” You respond.

A silence soon begins to grow between the two of you, becoming more and more awkward by the second. You both look around the room, waiting for the other to say or do something. After a few minutes, you get up and go to your dresser. You grab a shirt, and toss it at her.

“Put that on for now.” You say, turning around once more.

“How?” She asks, clutching the shirt.

Oh my god.

“H-here, let me help. P-pull off the blanket for me.” You say, grabbing the shirt back.

She drops the blanket, and you just stare. And stare.

Holy shit she’s perfect.

Ahem.

I mean, daaaaaaaaaamn. She’s...wow.

Oh forget it, you can stare until you make a fool of yourself.

“What?” She asks, looking down. “Something... wrong?” She asks, in a smoother tone while she grabbed her....

“Stop. Stop. Nope. Here. Just. Yeah.” You stammer while opening the shirt and sticking her head through it. “Stick your arms through the holes out here.”

She’s now wearing a shirt that looks more than a couple sizes too big, but you expected that. She was far from 6’3” and 225 pounds. She’s still sitting on her knees, though. You begin wondering why she isn’t standing up. That’s when it hits you: She’s not used to standing on two legs.

“Hey Skittles, try standing up. Like me.” You instruct.

“Uh, sure.” She says, sounding a bit hesitant.

She tries pulling herself to her feet, and falls onto her butt in the same instant. She continues trying, achieving balance for a few moments at a time before falling back down again. You try your best to contain your laughter as she keeps flopping to the floor, absentmindedly letting a giggle or two slip before you stop her.

You offer her a hand, “Alright, alright. Stop. Here.”

She takes hold of your hand, and you pull her to her feet. She wobbles a bit as you bring her all the way up, and grips your hand tightly. You help her balance, and then let go for a few moments. She begins to fall again, but you catch her this time. You look down at her legs, and spot a problem.

“You’re legs are really close together. Try spreading them a bit to balance.” You instruct, smiling a bit.

Stop that mental giggling, you immature wanker.

When did you turn British, Brain?

When I realized their insults sound better.

You help her stand once more, and she heeds your advice. She manages to achieve balance, and keep it once you let go of her hand. Once she gets it, she grins like she’s made a great discovery that could change the world.

“I’m going to assume you can’t walk on two legs, right?” You ask.

“Nope.” She answers.

You sigh, “Well, that should have been obvious. Let me teach you.”

“Why’s it matter if I can walk on two legs?” She wonders.

“Humans are bipeds. We aren’t built to walk on four legs.” You explain.

“Oh...um, okay....” She replies.

“Everything alright?” You question.

“Yeah. Just...standing on two legs is...really awkward.” She answers.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Now, do you want to learn how to walk or not?” You respond, somewhat dismissively.

“I guess.”

“Yes or no, Skittles.”

She groans, “Yes.”

“Good. Don’t worry, it’s easy. Promise.” You begin, smiling a little, “It’s just putting one foot in front of the other.”

Which is easier said than done mister “Stumbles out of closet”.

I don’t know if I should be insulted, or laugh at you. That joke was horrible.

It wasn’t a joke, it was the truth. YOU could hardly even walk not fifteen minutes ago. And you’ve been on two legs for eighteen years.

Your point, brain?

What makes you think it’ll be easy for someone who’s NEVER been on two legs?

You don’t like to encourage people, do you?

Dash waves her hand in your face, “Hellooooo. Earth to Sharpie.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. Um, right. So... walking.”

She appears to be listening intently.

“Umm...huh. How to explain this....” You think out loud.

You pace a bit as you think, when an idea strikes you: teach by example. It’s so simple!

“Okay, uh...try and mimic my actions.” You instruct.

You simply walk five steps, and stop. You turn to face her, and give a reassuring smile. She manages two steps, and stumbles before falling down. You manage to catch her, and stand her back up.

“Alright, let’s take it a bit slower.” You say.

You take her hand, and begin to guide her.

“Just one foot in front of the other. You’ll get it.” You encourage.

She seems focused, and you find it odd that Dash is taking something slow for once. She continues to stumble, falls a few times, and moves her ankles and other joints in experimentation. After a few minutes of stumbling and falling, she becomes visibly frustrated, and stops.

“Forget it. Walking's lame anyway.” She obviously tries to do something with her back, and she turns her upper body around. Now she’s practically growling.

“Uh, right...about flying....” You say.

“What?”

“Uh...you kinda...don’t have wings anymore.”

She goes wide eyed, “WHAT?!!”

Ooooh god, here we go. Shit storm incoming.

She tries to stretch her wings, attempting to reach back and try to feel them. She continues trying to stretch them, hoping to see or feel anything. She looks behind her, panicked.

“M-My wings!!!!!!!!” She glares at you, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?!”

“I-I-I thought you knew!” You reply.

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE BUCK I AM!! HOW WOULD I KNOW IF MY WINGS WERE GONE!?” She screams.

“Sorry Dash.”

“Ugh!”

You discover she figured out one thing she can do with her legs. She sends a knee straight into a place that should never be kneed.

Sweet sassy molassy!

You collapse to the ground in tremendous pain, and try to look over at her. You watch her walk over to your bed, and sit on her knees on top of it. Well, it wasn’t really walking. It was more of a stumble that you’d seen from incredibly drunk people. Hey, progress is progress. But progress or not, she is clearly angry. Her wings were her life, after all.

You decide to try and let her cool down, and go to get your phone. That is, once the pain decides to go away.

Once all feeling returns to your groin, you stand back up and go get your phone. You check the date and find that , miraculously, the date seems to be...July 3rd. The same day you left earth.

How the hell?

You hear a thump, and feel the floor shake. Then a new, but all too familiar voice is heard.

“Hey! Bro! You up yet?”

Oh shit. Not now.

No! Wait! I can explain!

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shiiiiiiiiiii-

“Get in the closet. Get. Get. Get. Go. Closet!” You practically order.

“What? Why? Hey! Quit pushing me!” Dash fires back.

“Just get in the closet.”

“Fine! Just stop pushing me.”

You watch, and try not to snicker, as she stumbles back into the closet. You close the door most of the way, leaving it slightly open. Just in time, too, as the voice calls again as it comes up the stairs.

“Bro! Get up!” It yells.

“I’m up! I’m up! Jesus, quit yelling!” You respond as the source comes into your room.

“You’re up? Pfft. This early? No way man. And why are you so stiff? Relax. I’ve walked in on you doing worse things dude.”

“SHUT UP!”

“No.”

“Dammit. Why are you so annoying?”

“Because it’s my job?”

Have I ever told you that I like your brother?

Fuck off, brain.

We could rule the world.

Fuck. Off. Brain.

Oh fine. Spoil my fun, why don’t you.

“What are you hiding bro?”

Your face flushes. “W-what?”

“You’re hiding something. You’re NEVER up and dressed this early. EVER.”

“I’m not hiding anything. Heh.” You smile awkwardly.

You hear a shuffle come from your closet, and glance over. At least your brother didn’t hear anything.

“Ha. Right. And I’m a fuckin’ fairy,” he quips, sarcastic.

“Oh? You finally admit it?” You smirk.

“Shut up.”

He looks over to your closet and asks, raising an eyebrow, “So, whatcha hidin’?”

“Nothing man. Now what’ll it take for you to leave?”

You look around the room, trying to find something to make him get lost. He already knows you’re hiding something, and he never gives up on finding shit out. You notice your Xbox, and instantly shut that idea down. That is the last thing you would give to him. Unfortunately, he follows your eyes around the room.

“I’ll leave if you give me your 360.” He smirks.

“Oh no. No no no no no. You’re not getting that.” You respond.

“Alright, I guess I’ll just start searching your room.”

You sigh, “One week. You can have it for one week. Now go.”

He smiles a bit, and nods. As you go to pull all the wires and some games together, you hear louder rustling in the closet. You both look over and then back at each other. With a thud, Rainbow falls forward out of the closet.

“Ow.” She grunts.

Your brother’s mouth falls open, and slowly turns into a shit eating grin. He turns to you, smirking.

“So... you were hiding something.”

“Damn. Fine, what’ll it take now?” You respond.

“Your Xbox for the rest of the month, and fifteen minutes with her.” He smirks once more.

“Don’t make me put my fist through your kidney.” You hiss, glaring.

“Alright, alright. Gimme your Xbox for a month, and your car for the next two weeks.”

“MY CAR?! ARE YOU INSANE?!”

“Alright...I guess I’ll just tell mom you snuck in some chick for a quickie.”

“And I should worry why? I’m an adult.”

“But it’s not your house, and she’ll still kill you.”

“Touche."

"So... gimme the keys."

"No."

"Suit yourself. Hey mom!"

You put your younger brother in a headlock, and cover his mouth. You sit him down, and keep his mouth covered.

"Don't tell mom. You’ve got it all wrong. We didn’t do anything.” You say, taking away your hand.

"Then why is she half naked and in your shirt? Riddle me that, Batman." He responds.

"If I could trust you to keep a secret, I'd tell you."

"I'm trustworthy!" He argues.

"Sure. And what happened with your girlfriend?"

"How'd you know about that?"

"I have my sources."

Now he looks scared. It looks to you like he's been keeping that secret somehow. Odd, considering that you wouldn't trust him half as far as you could throw him with a secret that big. You smirk as the tables take a sudden turn in your favor. You release your hold on his neck, and notice that Rainbow has been intently watching the back and forth with your brother.

“H-how much more do you know?” He asks.

“Lots.” You say, a devious smile growing on your face.

"You wouldn't say anything, right?" He asks, shaking a bit.

"You won't tell mom?"

"No! I Promise."

"Then I'll stay quiet."

You look over to the girl on her knees. She’s staring at both of you. She has an absolutely adorable look on her face which also clearly expresses confusion.

D'aaaaawwwww

Did you really just do that?

Yes I did, brain.

I really hate you right now.

Awwww, I love you too my grey matter friend!

Fuck you. Human.

Rainbow blinks, “Um, hi again.”

“Dude...why’d she dye her hair like that?” Your brother asks.

“Huh? I didn’t dye my mane!”

“Mane? What are you, a horse?” Your bro turns to you, “You have weird taste in chicks.”

“And you’re a virgin. Now shut up, and get the hell out.” With that, you get up and push him out the door.

"Hey! I'm not a-." You slam the door in his face, and laugh a bit.

You turn and face Rainbow, who still has an adorable look of confusion on her face.

"Who was that?" She wonders.

"The devil. Also known as my little brother." You reply.

She blinks, “Was that supposed to be funny?”

BURN!

Shut up, Kelso.

You sigh, “A little bit, but it’s true either way. Sorry you had to see that.”

She laughs now. She probably found that quarrel funny. “What did he mean by fifteen minutes with me?”

When the question comes, your face flushes. “Nevermind that. You don’t wanna know.”

He'd only need ten seconds anyway. Heuhuehehe.

Don't insult my future apprentice, human.

Both of you cringe as you hear a deafening shriek from below you. Then some very fast and harsh footsteps coming up the stairs. The door practically flies off its hinges as your mother barges into your room. She looks directly at you, and her expression is one of anger. The fires of Hell itself are in that glare. Her head turns, and she gasps at the sight of Rainbow in nothing but your shirt. You’re staring at her face, and she mouths “what the fuuu.” That asshole behind her has his grin back, and mom’s exchanging glances with both of you again.

"You little shit." You growl, stepping towards your brother.

"Hold it right there." Your mother orders. “What is the meaning of this? Who is she?”

You sigh, “It’s not what you think, and it’s entirely out of context.”

You'd better have a clever story. I'm not going to the loony bin because of you, human.

I'm thinking I need to be there anyway. My brain has a mind of its own!

Quiet, human.

“Then what is it?” she yells.

“I honestly don’t know either. She’s just a friend here...”

"A friend with benefits. Am I right?" Your sibling smirks.

"Shut up Mark." You and your mom say in unison.

"Who is she and what is she doing here? I want an answer, now!" Your furious mother exclaims.

“A friend. And I don’t know!”

“What do you mean you ‘don’t know’?”

“Stop!” Rainbow screams. “Please, just stop.” The two of you blink, and look at Rainbow. She looks fed up, and stares straight at you.

“I’m not from here. I’m not a human."

You look at your mother. She blinks, and looks confused. She turns to you with an expression that says, "Which asylum did she escape from?"

"If you can't explain what's going on, I'm calling the police." Your mom says.

"I can explain. It's just a really long story." You reply.

“All ears.”

“She’s a pony. From another dimension."

"A pony?"

"Yes. A pegasus named Rainbow Dash."

“A pegasus?”

"Yes. A pegasus."

And so, the next hour consists of reliving the events of the last two months in Equestria. You tell them just about everything. Becoming a pony. Learning to fly. The few adventures you had gone on, and the mishaps you had gotten into with Rainbow.

“Two months? But you were at dinner last night."

"I know. I don't get it either. I guess there's some crazy time thing between here and there."

“You’re just insane. That couldn’t have happened. Dress her up and send her home.”

"I'm serious, mom. If we had done anything, why would I make up a lie that elaborate? Plus, do you even see any women's clothing?”

"I... well... no. But you could be hiding it! Besides, I don't see any evidence of how you could have gotten back from this 'Other dimension'."

"Skittles, is that portal still open?" You ask Rainbow.

"It was a few minutes ago. You can check."

You look at your mom once more, "You want proof? I'll show you proof."

You step over to the closet door, and throw it open. As hoped, the flowing and spiraling orange oval is still there.

Mark and your mother gasp.

"How's that for proof?"

They just stand there, stunned. Both your mother and brother mouth, “the fuuu...” You shut your closet door and their attention turns to Dash, and then you.

Shrugging, you say, “Welp. Told you. I have no explanation.”

"But how'd she get here?" Your mom asks.

"I, uh, fell through! Yeah, that's it. Fell through."

Your mother crosses her arms, and gets a sort of cocky look on her face as she looks straight at Dash. It's a look that says "You're lying and I know you're lying."

“N-no no no. I really fell through it.”

"Suuuuure. But...since I really have no choice but to believe my son, I'll try to help you fit in."

You blink, surprised at how quickly your mother... accepted the fact. You honestly expected her to question it more. But then again the evidence is pretty solid. There is a portal in the closet after all. Before you can say anything, your mother and Dash are gone.

"I think I'll go...help them." Your brother says.

"Shut up Mark."

Stuff Happens Part 1

God dammit Mark. Why are you such an idiot.

Why did you hit my future prodige?

Fuck off, brain.

You grumble a bit as you wash your brother’s nose blood off your knuckles. He is a persistent one, that Mark. Perhaps a little too persistent for his own good. When a clothed Rainbow Dash returned to your room, he tried making a move on her. And as she became more and more uncomfortable, you planted a solid right hook across his face. He’s probably tattling on you right now like he always does.

You return to your room, and watch as Rainbow interacts with your fish. Your phone vibrates in your pocket. You pull it out, and see the number 867-5309 on the display. You smile and snicker a bit. That inside joke has been going on for six years now, and is still funny every time.

“Y’ello?” You answer.

“Before you say anything, it’s not Jenny.” The voice responds.

“Hi Ben.”

“Hi Sharpie.”

“I thought I told you never to call me that again.”

“Kill my fun why don’t you.”

“That’s my job. Look, I’m kinda busy right now. What do you need?”

“I need a jump.”

“Why don’t you finally get a new battery?”

“Because I don’t have any money. Just be a bro and give your old friends a jump.”

“You and Jen are stuck on the highway again, aren’t you.”

“Bingo.”

“You seriously owe me.”

“Anything. By the way we’re before exit 373.” He hangs up.

“What did you just do?” Dash asks, pointing to your phone.

“I just talked to one of my friends. This thing is called a telephone, or phone for short, and it allows people to talk over long distances.”

Her expression is blank, “What?”

You laugh, “I’ll show you later.”

“Okay....” She says, still sounding confused.

You grab your keys, and notice Rainbow looking at you. You think for a minute, and decide it might be best to take her along. Leaving her alone with your brother probably wouldn’t end well.

“Come on Dash. Let’s go.” You say.

“Go where?” She replies.

“We’ve gotta help out a couple of my friends.”

“Well, why does that involve me?”

“Do you want to be alone here with my little brother?”

She goes wide eyed, “No way!”

“Then let’s go.”

She gets up off her knees, and walks over. She stumbles slightly, but appears to have gotten the hang of walking on two legs. She smiles, appearing happy with herself. You smile in return, and help her out of your room and down some stairs. She slips off the third step, and you wind up carrying her down. Your mom intercepts you as you head to the door, Rainbow still in your arms because you... just don't want to put her down. Your brother has another smirk, which looks ridiculous with the paper towel stuffed in his nose.

“Why did you hit your brother?” You mother asks.

“Can we talk about this later?”

“Just answer the question, and you can go.”

“Because he wouldn’t leave Rainbow alone and wouldn’t leave my room no matter how many times I asked.” You explain.

“Well, according to him, you just walked up and punched him while he was talking to this girl.”

You sigh, “That’s a lie.”

“Well, how about we hear what the truth really is.” She looks at Rainbow, “Which one of them is telling the truth?”

Rainbow points to you, and your mother nods. She turns on your brother, and you get a very welcome sight. She starts chewing him out for tattling on his brother like a first grader. You just stand there and savor the moment. It was funny, watching that little punk shrink back like a turtle into its shell. You finally move on when Rainbow pokes your cheek a few times.

You put Rainbow back down, causing her to frown. You assume she was happier when she didn’t have to walk. She follows you outside, and stops as she stares at your car.

“What’s that?” She asks right away.

“My car. It’s like a cart, except it powers itself. Like that cider thing you told me about.” You answer.

“Really? I mean, it doesn’t look like that machine....”

“Really. It powers itself. I’ll explain more once we get going.”

She nods, and follows you over. You open the door for her, and she gets in with no problem. You watch as she studies the inside of the car and it’s cute how genuinely interested she is. She’s messing with the different knobs and buttons, trying to figure out what they do. You smile a bit, and get in yourself. You help her with her seatbelt and turn the key. The sound your car makes both surprise her and intrigue her further. You chuckle as she messes with the knobs and buttons again, expressing a childlike wonder as she learns what they all do. The car's shifted into first and slowly driven out of your driveway. You smile and look over at Rainbow, stopped in the street, and push in the gas and clutch, revving like mad and becoming the loudest thing for miles. Rainbow freaks and spastically looks around for the source of the sound. When her gaze reaches you, the clutch pedal slips from under your foot, causing a shit ton of squealing and smoke to billow from your tires. You accelerate like mad before stopping quickly, throwing Rainbow forwards. She didn't enjoy any of it, as you could probably infer from her screaming, but it all made you laugh very hard. You love your car.

"What-- just-- happened?"She wheezed.

“We went fast?”

“No shit, but why’s this thing so loud and smelly? and why was it flopping around everywhere?”

“I made it that way… (You and Ben like tuning up your cars to race occasionally) and I was trying to scare you.” you turned to her with a giant grin on your face, “It worked.”

You place “Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace” into the CD player, and crank the volume. Dash grins as “The Pretender” starts playing, and you chuckle. You just focus on driving and allow the music to fade into the background. Knowing those two, the album will be over by the time you get to them.

*****Meanwhile, in Equestria*****

The five mares still remaining in their homeworld stand before the portal, stunned. Rainbow Dash had just...bolted into the portal. She didn’t give any reason, nor did she give any warning. She just bowled over Spike, and followed the other pony through.

“Twilight, is there any way t’ git Rainbow back?” Applejack asks.

“I don’t know. I think it’s just a one way portal.” Twilight admits.

“So...you mean...” Rarity begins.

“She might be gone forever.” Twilight replies.

“Are ya sure it’s just one way?” Applejack inquires.

“I...I don’t know!” Twilight answers, seeming a bit scared.

“Um...maybe...we could...” Fluttershy whispers.

“Can’t you just use your magic to check, Twilight?” Pinkie asks, poking the purple unicorn’s horn.

“But...w-what if...umm”

“I don’t know how to check, though.” Twilight responds.

“Perhaps the spell the Princess sent you has more details.” Rarity tries.

“B-But wouldn’t it make sense to...umm...”

“I checked the spell ten times, Rarity. It doesn’t tell me anything.”

“Um, T-Twilight. I have an idea.”

“Huh? Did you say something Fluttershy?” Twilight asks, turning to her.

“Um...well...I have an idea.”

“What is it?”

“What if we...um...tied something to a rope, a-and tossed it through. And then we pulled the rope back to see if we can bring it back. I mean, if you think that might work.”

Twilight blinks, “Fluttershy, that’s perfect! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that sooner.”

Twilight grabs a Daring Doo book from a shelf nearby, along with some rope. Using her magic, she ties a very tight knot around the book.

"Everypony stand back," she commands.

As the others back up, she tosses the book with her magic into the portal. The rope snags, and sits there.

"Uhm... nothin's happenin'. Pull it back," applejack says after several seconds of silence.

She begins to pull the rope back, getting a tug as she does.

“It doesn’t wanna come back,” Twi said.

The mane 5 looked to the portal, which had a gray hoof sticking out and reaching around. They all started backing up, bug eyed.

“W-who’s hoof is that?” Twi sputtered.

The hoof reached around a bit more, when another hoof appeared. They both held the sides of the portal, and a face started to peek through. He was looking at the floor and around the portal, and then looked straight at the five. His eyes bugged, and he looked left to right, at all of their scared faces. This lasted for half a minute or so… all of them exchanging awkward glances. The face whispered, “blasphemy,” and then started to retreat back into the portal, along with his hooves. Twilight gives the rope a hard tug, and the hooves and head return. Their eyes meet, and they stare at one another.

How is another pony coming through the portal? Twilight wondered.

“Ok... this is fuckin’ beyond trippy. Who are - wait... What are you?” the face asks, looking from face to terrified face.

"We are ponies... If you don't know what we are, then what are you?" Twi asks.

"Human?" the face says. "That's it... this is too much for me." The face then proceeds to back up into the portal again, disappearing.

Unfortunately, Twilight was too interested to let him get away. She tugged and tugged on the rope, but couldn’t manage to pull him back.

Back in your room, Mark has tied the rope to your closet door knob. He began a process of looting your room, but the closet door kept slamming at random intervals. After about five minutes of this, Mark untied the rope and stuck his head back in the portal.

“WHAT!?!” he yelled.

“Well, hello to you too,” Twilight snipped. “I’ve been here pulling on this rope for forever!”

“You think I haven’t noticed? It has been nothing but slamming from this damn door!”

“Door? What door?” Twilight asked curiously.

“The door of my brother’s closet that I tied the rope to.” Mark replied.

Twilight stared blankly at the pony head from another dimension.

“You okay...whatever you are?” Mark asks, strangely uninterested in the fact that he was talking to a unicorn.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Twilight responded, “How are you?”

“Good. Are you one of those magic talking ponies my brother was rambling about earlier?” Mark responds.

“Um, I guess. My name is Twilight Sparkle.”

“Sweet. Am I really seeing this other dimension? Or am I just really high right now?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Can I take a look around?”

“Well...I guess there wouldn’t be any harm in it. But you have to promise you won’t leave the library.”

“Alright.”

With that, Mark crawls into the portal, and immediately faceplants onto the floor.

Stuff Happens Part 2

***OH MY BEJEEZUS WE'RE ON EARTH AGAIN***

After what felt like an hour, you finally manage to find your friends.

"’bout time you got here." Ben says.

"'I’m not the one who broke down in East Bumfuck." You reply.

"Can you just give me a jump already?" Ben groans, taking a peek at your friend in the passenger seat.

"Who is your lovely friend here?" He flirts, receiving a smack on the back of the head by Jen.

"Don't harass his girlfriend. Remember what happened last time?" She says.

"She's not my girlfriend!" You yell at him, tempted to hit him too.

Having some knowledge of cars yourself, and not wasting time explaining everything to your friends, you work to swap both your own and Ben’s batteries. Ben goes back into his car and attempts to start it multiple times.

"Nothing. Shit. Fuck. Assfuck." Ben groans.

"Clam yourself Ben. It takes time."

"Did you just fucking say 'clam yourself'?"

"Yeah, as in shut it and be patient."

Ben continues his attempts at starting his car.

"Its gotta be a problem with the sparkplug." He complains.

This makes you stare at your friend, questioning how low his IQ really is.

Ben stares back at you and whines, "Shut up, can you just give us a ride?"

"Come on... Please? For a friend?" Jen said, getting close to you.

"S-sorry guys. I'll give you a ride, but Ben needs to get his own tow this time. My mom wasn't happy with the last charge you put on our insurance."

"Fine." Ben said, as he made his way to your car.

"Who is this girl anyway?” He looks to Rainbow and back at you before whispering, “Did you bang her yet?"

“You have such a one-track mind.” You and Jen say in unison.

"Dude... That was awkward." Ben said, reaching your car.

“Not as awkward as your loud fucking whispers.” You say, chuckling.

"I think it was cute." Jen said, leaning on you.

“Uh, heh, yeah.” You smile a bit.

You get in the drivers seat, and turn down the music Rainbow had made ear-piercingly loud.

"Hey! I was listening to that!" Rainbow complains.

"It's still on, calm down." You reply.

Your friends get in the back as you speak to Dash, both slamming their door shut as if to remind you that they're here too.

"Ugh. Where am I taking you?" You ask, looking back at Ben.

"Home." He replies.

"Why do I put up with you?" You ask Ben, as you shift into first and continue down the road.

You look over at Rainbow Dash, who is looking back at Jen.

"Who did your hair? It looks completely natural!" Jen whispers.

"It was like this when I was born." Rainbow Dash replies.

You look in the rearview mirror and see Jen, steaming with a tad bit of jealousy and confusion. She's wanted to dye her hair similar to Rainbow’s for most of her life, but could never get it right.

"How is that even possible?" She grumbles

"I dunno, my dad says its hereditary." Rainbow replies.

"By the way, I forgot to ask, what's your name?"

"I'm Rai-" Rainbow begins.

"Chel. Her name is Rachel." You hastily interrupt.

"Nice to meet you Rachel." Jen smiles.

Rainbow Dash looks at you in confusion. You shake your head. "Tell you later." You mouth to her.

"Dude!" Ben interrupts. "Lets go to the bar!" He says, pointing out a small bar on your right as you get off the highway.

"It's eleven A.M." You deadpan.

"So?" He replies.

"My god you're stupid."

"So.. we going or not?" Ben asks, getting weird looks from Jen.

"No." You declare.

"You're no fun." He groans, crossing his arms like a child.

“You just fucking told me to drive you home! That’s where you’re going, dammit.”

You roll your eyes and keep driving. You spot Rainbow reaching for the volume knob, and stop her from blasting the music again, much to her dismay. She sits in the passengers seat, arms crossed, bored. Finally you come to Ben's house.

"Get out Ben." You command him jokingly.

"Ooh do you and your new girlfriend have some plans?" He taunts.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” You say, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, sure. She’s the queen of Sweden.” He chuckles.

“Shut up.”

"We still on for the race Saturday night?" He asks.

“I told you you’re on your o-”

“Race?” Rainbow suddenly interjects.

You both look at Rainbow's outburst. Up until now she’d been oddly silent. Normally she’d be trying to chew your ear off about the Wonderbolts or her awesomeness, and occasionally gossip about her friends.

"No Rai..chel. Its not a race you want to be a part of."

"Shut it Sharpie, I want to race." She commands.

"Sharpie?" Ben laughs. "I like this girl already 'Sharpie'" He taunts. "So, you in or are you a purple haired chicken?"

“What is wrong with you?”

“Everything! But that’s why you love me.” He smiles.

"He's in." You look surprised, as Rainbow speaks up for you.

"So what's the prize?" You ask.

"How about I sleep with your girlfriend?" He asks, earning a chokehold from Jenny.

"Leave before he gets any more ideas." She instructs.

She winks at Rainbow and then waves as she drags Ben into the house by his ear. He scrambles a bit, and suddenly falls halfway down in surprise. He follows her as best he can, wincing and complaining.

"That was weird." Rainbow remarks.

"Not for those two." You mutter as you back out of the driveway.

"So... whats next?" She asks, twiddling her thumbs.

"Hungry?" You ask.

"Yeah, I haven’t exactly eaten since we left." Rainbow mutters.

“Since I left. You told me you fell in.” You look at her suspiciously.

She says nothing, and instead begins trying to dodge your death stare. She knows this stare a little too well, seeing as its weaseled the truth out of her many times in the past...however long you were actually gone. It’s obvious she’s hiding something. She’s been acting a bit odd for a little while - about two weeks in Equestria time. The thought begins to cross your mind that her following you was completely premeditated; that it wasn’t some spur of the moment thing she’s been trying to play it off as.

“Well...I did. So weboth left, right?” She says, cleverly saving herself.

“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense.” You respond with a nod.

You put your theory on the back burner for now. There’ll be plenty of time for it later. Right now there are only three things that matter: Getting her fed, getting her home, and getting out of that dumb race.

Author's Note

Sorry if it isn't up to snuff. But hey, I finally dragged my ass back into this. It'll get back there. Pinkie Promise. As usual, point out any errors for me to fix.