Spike opened his eyes, groaning. He rubbed his forehead, then shut his eyes once more, feeling a splitting headache creep up to him without mercy. It was as if Luna was smashing into his skull with a hammer, over and over again, and enjoying it, at that.

Once again, his eyes opened, and he wondered to himself what the buck happened last night. He looked at the blue blanket Twilight must have put over him. Spike let out a low sigh. before curling his left hand, noticing that Twilight must have also mended his broken arm, saving them both a trip to the hospital and from paying any hospital bills, no doubt much to her, and his, relief.

“How thoughtful of her.” He laughed softly under his breath. He was about to grab a cigarette in the carton from the arm rest behind him when the door opened.

His caretaker trotted into the room, bags under her eyes and her head lowered in what seemed like disappointment.

“Oh, you're up. That's great. How are you feeling, Spike?” she asked in a whisper.

He merely grunted, then gently sat on the edge of the couch. Trying to ignore the memories of what the two had done on the furniture, he clutched his head. Spike took a deep breath to stop the room from spinning. Twilight frowned.

“Great, just peachy, Twi,” he answered.

She smirked. “Well, that will teach you not to come home at twelve in the morning high and drunk.” She chuckled.

He rolled his eyes with a scowl. “Where were you at” he asked.

She walked towards him and lit her horn, covering his head in a purple aura. In seconds, Spike's dizziness and migraine left him. He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at her, but she did not exchange the same.

“At church. It's Saturday, remember? I always go to pray to Celestia on this day. It's not a requirement, but you know I go if I need to get some..weight off my chest. I had much I needed to clear today from my heart.” she replied.

He scoffed. “Why not just ask her in a letter, rather than go to a building with a bunch of ponies to hear Lyra Heartstrings preach over and over about how great your mentor is?” he asked.

She narrowed her eyes, frowning. “Because you weren't awake, for one thing, and for another, I just wanted to say what's on my mind without another pony knowing what I had to say. I saw Pinkie Pie with the Cakes there, but she ignored me. I can't say I'm surprised, but I'm a bit disappointed she wouldn't hear my side of the story,” she said.

Spike stretched his limbs before getting up, and he nodded sadly. “Yeah, well, maybe if we give her a little time, she'll listen. She's not a foal; she's a grown mare. She can handle it...I hope. Anyway, I'm going to take a shower. Thanks for clearing my headache and healing my injuries, Twi,” he said with a smile.

She grinned back as she moved out of his way to the bathroom. Twilight opened her mouth, about to ask if she could join in, but shut herself up. Her ears and tails dropped; she knew it would be inappropriate. She sat on her flank with a sigh. As Spike closed the door behind him, with nothing better to do, she went to get some coffee.

Spike, after relieving himself in the bathroom, opened the shower curtains and stepped in. The water was as hot as it could go, but the steaming heat was nothing to him. It sprayed over the stress and sweat from his body and mind, just a bit. He breathed a little sigh. Placing his claws on the wall in front of him, he took a bottle of soap and scrubbed his body thoroughly, making sure to get his lower body and tail twice before the water washed it away.

He looked up at the ceiling, wondering just how many lives he had ruined with his presence. Was he really a monster bent on shattering the pony races' hopes and dreams, like his kind had done before him? From what his mother, Celestia, told him, his kind lived as long as a total of ten thousand years before they died from battle or old age. The ancient race lived longer than all the Gods even, save for Discord, he believed.

But he didn't want to be a monster...a bastard. Something in a storybook for foals that told them to be afraid of and panic upon seeing creatures such as his. He didn't want to grow old and have no creature but the Gods and Peewee by his side. Nopony would remember him, and he didn't want to outlive Pinkie Pie, or even Twilight, because of the massive growth spurt he would get later in life. Most of all, he didn't want to go back to his greed-induced form like he had on his thirteenth birthday.

He shivered. If that wasn't the worst of it, then he was always being mocked and continually sneered at by his demons from the Nightmare Realm he had looked into. King Sombra's door had brought both him and Twilight to see things mortals never should see. Now both would forever be tormented by the demons that had followed them, and now even the Gods could not free them from such an awful fate. Twilight wasn't joking when she said all creatures had their demons, but Twilight and Spike just had more than should've been normal for a mortal.

Spike remembered, when he was fourteen, how he had stopped Twilight from slitting her own throat with a butcher knife in the middle of the night. Unable to take the awful, evils sins that whispered into her mind, she was so close to taking her life, until Spike knocked the knife away. He held her as she cried into his chest, and the two sat on the cold, wooden floor as he allowed her to pour all her anguish onto him.

He had no doubt that that was the day she began to feel a romantic attraction towards him. He smirked a bit, only to frown, remembering how Twilight swore to the Gods, her voice muffled by his scales. She screamed to Celestia why she did not help them, why they had to face such terrors by themselves, and why she had even allowed the two to see horrors never meant for normal creatures. He honestly thought she would lose her faith in Celestia and the other immortals she prayed to each night, but he knew she was only speaking out of spite.

It was cruel, unfair, and harsh that even now, nothing could be done. Luckily, Twilight had no more suicidal intentions, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. Even after Twilight eventually passed, he would still be plagued by the very nightmares that he had seen that day, never able to escape.

With a loud sigh, and ignoring the dark shadows that reflected into the showerhead and faucet behind him, he washed away the rest of his soap. He shut off the water and stepped out.

He dried his body off with a tan towel, then threw it into the wastebasket beside him. Steam trailed out after him as he opened the door and left the bathroom. He walked into the living room, where he saw Twilight sitting down at the table. As she sipped on a cup of coffee and smoked a cigarette.

Spike gave her a blank stare. “Want to take the whole carton, while you're at it?” he teased, sitting down across from her. He grabbed a cigarette for himself, eyeing the bowl of small rubies before him with interest. He took three, popping them in his mouth.

Twilight looked at him over the rim of her cup, and while he loudly chewed the rubies, she rolled her eyes. She took in a long drag before exhaling the smoke calmly.

After a few minutes of silence between the two, and a thirty second argument between Spike and Peewee, now healed thanks to Twilight, she sighed loudly. She sucked in one last drag before stamping out the remains in the way ashtray beside her.

She stood up, trotting towards the shelf lined with multiple different books. Pulling one out with her magic, she glanced at the title with a smile. Her eyes fell toward the couch, but it made her smile cascade when memories of what had happened the last time she sat on the couch to read replayed over her mind. Twilight went to the table and sat down. The book followed behind her and landed softly in front of her, opening to a specific page. Twilight began to read.

Spike glanced down at his bowl of gems. Suddenly, he wasn't feel so hungry. He pushed it away and used his cigarette one last time. He pressed it onto the ashtray just as Peewee flew outside an opened window. His gaze shifted from the window to Twilight, who ignored him.

With a blink, he grinned and laughed quietly. The unicorn looked towards him, as if he had lost his mind. He just waved her away.

Twilight cleared her throat and shut the book with a breath. Putting her forehooves together, she closed her eyes, not doubt praying to Celestia. Spike looked at her, confused; he thought she already did that two hours ago. Spike only heard her utter the one word, “strength,” in her whisper.

After finishing, pushing the book aside, she looked at Spike with a serious set of emotion on her face. “Spike...we need to talk,” she said carefully.

He frowned a bit. “What about?” he asked.

Twilight let out another heavy sigh. “Do...do you remember anything that happened last night, after you came back from drinking?” she asked.

He blinked, trying to rattle his memory of coming home from the party. He recalled she had said something to him, no doubt something very important, but nothing more than that.

Spike scowled and shook his head. “No idea, to be honest.” He laughed, but his tease quickly made him frown again when he saw how serious Twilight looked.

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, then opened them to look into his own.

“Spike, I-I'm pregnant,” Twilight whispered.

His eyes widened in shock. Spike stood from his chair so fast, it was knocked over. His claws curled in rage and disbelief. Black smoke snorted harshly from his nostrils. “WHAT?!” he screamed.

Twilight flinched from the amount of anger and panic in his tone. He gripped the edge of the table so hard, they left deep grooves in the wood. She knew she had to tell him, though, and there was no turning back now.

“It's true. I checked it twice in a book I got for pregnant mares. I didn't even know I had it until I checked. My belly alighted green. If I wasn't, it'd be red. I really didn't want to do it. I was scared, but I had to know. When we...mated, I accidentally lit my horn, and must've cast a spell as I had an orgasm which must've enhanced your sperm, making it magical. That might have been enough to impregnate me. Spike, don't you get it? I have a hybrid, a Kirin, in my womb? This-this is my child—OUR child. This is-”

“STOP!” he shouted, cutting her words of joy down with his bitter tone. “I'm sorry, I must have been mistaken. I thought you said that, not only did I cheat on the mare I love, but I got another mare pregnant. WHAT THE BUCK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING?!” he roared, spewing small, green flames out his maw.

She leaned back a bit, frightened with seeing him in such rage.

But her eyes hardened, her mouth now having fallen to a grimace. She knew that he did not love her, but was he saying, honestly saying, he did not want the child now slowly growing in her womb?

“Spike, even if a Kirin lives hundreds of years longer than ponies, it's still such a blessing. Are you saying you don't WANT to be part of our child's life? The baby that we-”

“What are you chatting about with us? There is no us, Twilight, there never has been any us. There is you and that...that... hybrid in you stomach. I'm sixteen years old. I don't have any desire to take care of a crying, pooping, whining, little-”

“How dare you! How BUCKING dare you treat our child as if he or she was a mistake! The baby did nothing wrong. The baby-” she screamed. She stood up so fast that her chair was knocked over. She slammed her forehooves onto the table with such force, a slight crack was formed in the wood. She glared at Spike in anger she hadn't had since she had accused Chrysalis of being Cadence four years ago.

“I don't need the baby in my life right now. Especially not with a mare when I have no love for his or her mother, Twilight. I'm not even a damn century year old. What do you not understand about that?” he said.

Tears brimmed on the edge of her eyes. “I can't believe you right now. I always knew you would change with your aging, but I had thought you would be a wise, gentle dragon, not like the other monstrous, evil, selfish dragons in your species, Spike. I never expected you to turn out to be some arrogant asshole that turns his back on his friends and family that RAISED him! What happened to you, Spike? I guess, unfortunately, just about all dragons must be the same, cruel, awful beasts that-”

“Say one more word about my species, and I'll slap you!” he threatened.

Her eyes narrowed, as she whispered, “Touch me, and you'll regret it,” she spoke cruelly.

Spike gritted his fangs together with all his strength as he glared back at her.

“You don't want anything to do with me, fine. But you leave our—no, MY—child out of this! You don't want to take responsibility for what's yours, then I don't want ANYTHING to do with you. If you don't want to be a father to such a wonderful blessing, then I want you out. I want you out NOW!” she screamed, her voice hoarse from all the shouting.

Blinking in surprise, he still fought back, “You're kicking me out of my own house? Out of my own BUCKING house?!”

She winced, but nodded slowly. Tears spilled down her face.

“Take your damn cigarettes, bits, and Peewee, and leave. Now,” she whispered coldly.

He calmly released his claws from the table, which was scarred so deep, almost nothing would be able to repair it. “So, that's it, then? Kicking me out of your life just like that, all because of a mistake,” he stated softly.

She became so enraged, she reached across the table, and slapped the right side of his cheek with all of her might. He dropped to the floor, gradually touching his bruised cheek with nothing more than a snort in response.

“Leave...now,” she repeated under her breath. Twilight bowed her head, allowing her tears to fall freely.

Spike stood from the floor and let out an enraged noise from his nose. He quickly rushed up the stairs and grabbed a gray colored sack in his dresser, something he had in case he had to go on an emergency 'quest.' Placing all his remaining bits, jewels and three packs of cigarettes into it, he stomped down the stairs. He made sure to crack the last three on his descent.

He glanced over at the phoenix that had flown back inside during his argument with Twilight. He was cowering in fear from the heated argument, atop one of the shelves.

“C'mon, Peewee. Let's go,” he demanded.

The phoenix only stepped back in hesitation. “COME ON, YOU DAMNED PHOENIX!” Spike yelled.

Peewee did not move, causing Spike to release a large cloud of black smoke from his nostrils. He turned away from his former loyal pet.

“Fine. Stay here, for all I care.” he growled, stomping towards the front door. Without a word, he opened it, ready to leave.

“If you walk out that door, don't...don't you ever come back.” Twilight's icy words reached his fin ears.

He sighed sadly with narrowed eyes. “Don't plan to.” Without turning to look her in the eyes, he slammed the door with all of his strength. A long crack stretched onto the door.

Spike walked away from the library at that very second Twilight collapsed to the floor and cried to herself, more than she was certain she ever had in her life.

The drake, while walking, felt cold. Harsh rain hit his scales as he looked up and saw the entire sky was covered by enormous, gray clouds. Spike shivered with a sigh, knowing he had nowhere else to go.

He wanted a cigarette, really needed it. With the rain, however, he knew it would get soaked, like his body was becoming at a fast rate.

With a growl, Spike wandered on until he arrived at the bridge where he had his talk with Rarity. He rested his arms against the cold, gray stone. He watched the rain hit the water below mercilessly, creating multiple ripples. He was cold blooded, and should have despised the rain, but with his mindset right now, he could honestly care less. He felt tears slid down his face, slowly mixing in with the rain. Clenching his bag harder, he shut his eyes. The dragon was tempted to throw the bag over the edge, but he knew that he needed it. This steadied his choice, and he placed it on the ground.

Spike gritted his fangs, placing his claws over his ear fins. His eyes remained closed; he knew he was in the worst state ever imagined.

He had done more in the past three days than he ever had done in his entire life. He had gotten into a fight with Rainbow Dash, arrested, cheated on his marefriend, rejected his best friend, who loved him more than family, and now, he had turned his back on his own child. He had abandoned his child because of his selfish pride.

“What sort of father am I? What kind of guy am I just to act like an asshole to everyone who cares for me, who loves me. I don't deserve a second chance, and...I...I have no right to live,” he muttered aloud. Spike's heart was chained by his words and guilt, his mind in the worst form of depression it could possibly be in.

"I don't deserve to live," he thought. He opened his eyes and slowly looked at his claws. He pulled them away from his face.

“I don't deserve to live.” He breathed slowly, feeling his heart break with the decision he was about to do for himself, for Equestria, for his child.

Spike brought his razor sharp right claw to his throat, closing his eyes at the thought of how he was actually going to take his own life. With nothing else to think of but the regret of all he had caused to everypony's life. He slashed as hard as he could against his neck scales, waiting for his artery to be severed, and for blood to splatter the stones, washed away quickly by the rain.

But he didn't feel blood spilling from his neck. As a matter of fact, he did not feel any pain to begin with.

Spike opened his eyes, looking at his hand. Not a single speck of blood dripped on them. He gritted his teeth, outraged, and raked his claws even deeper against his throat. Still, he did not feel his scales split apart violently from the force like it should

His eyes widened as he realized why he wasn't able to even take his own life.

His scales were as hard as diamonds, and his claws, while razor sharp, weren't enough to tear into the armored flesh. As a result, the reptile could not even end his own life.

Spike dug his claws into the stones before him with all of his strength. He felt then crack from the force as he lifted his head. He opened his maw and let out a roar, an enormous stream of green life erupting from his mouth into the sky. How could he had been so stupid to think he could attempt suicide so easily?

“Is this how you wish for me to live my life?! A husk of a dragon, shackled in guilt and depression? After all I've BUCKING done for you, you turn your backs against me, your faithful servant, just for one stupid mistake?! You gods are nothing more than COWARDS, only bothering to lift your limbs when you chose to! You Gods are nothing more than pitiful, weak, CHILDREN!” he bellowed into the wind with all the air in his lungs. He never felt so angry before in his entire life.

He bowed his head, breathing heavily from his rant. He closed his eyes, exhaustion overwhelming the dragon. He was about to stand up from where he panted and grab the bag, hoping to find shelter. Then a dark, harsh voice stopped him in his tracks.

“How DARE you!” A mare's voice echoed behind him, devoid of all emotion.

The drake slowly turned to see none other than Princess Luna. Her eyes were solemn and cold, and it made him shiver. Against the rain, a very furious frown crossed her muzzle. She narrowed her eyes into mere silts, causing the dragon to swallow the spittle in his throat sulkily.

“We have turned our backs on you? We have caused you the distress that you have been through? I suppose it was the Gods who even gave you the thought to betray your marefriend, dragon? No, you have caused all of this to happen by yourself. We merely watched as you lived out your life, doing what we could to aid you, and you have the GUTS to curse OUR names? You have the balls to DARE scream your swear words at us? The very Gods who have encouraged and tried to help you find your true feelings towards one mare alone? But now, because of your selfish desires, you have broken both mares' hearts. You mortals are all the same.” Luna spat cruelly.

With her very words, the air seemed to grow colder. Spike could see the stone bridge slowly starting to frost, Even though her words rang true, he could not help but lash back. He never asked for help from the Gods, and even more so, he never asked for two mares to be in love with him.

“Aided me? You could've done something to stop Twilight from kissing me. You could have kept what we did from going that far, or you could've-”

“SILENCE YOUR TONGUE, REPTILE!” she shouted, silencing the dragon. She shifted her stance, the wind growing fierce around them. Luna remained unfazed by this.

“We have done all we could, but the final choice was yours alone to make. We cannot directly interfere with the mortals. Why you do think Celestia always sends Twilight Sparkle and her friends to deal with serious threats? Even in the face of fighting another God, if we were to challenge such creatures, then it would have caused serious injury to the short lived creatures-"

“I'm a dragon. We live up to ten thousand years, Luna-” he interrupted her, which he regretted instantly.

Luna lifted herself onto her hindhooves. She slammed them down with the force of an Ursa Major, freezing the entire bridge, except for where the two stood. Her eyes glowed in fury.

“DON'T YOU DARE BE A SMART ASS TO ME, DRAKE!” she screamed. Gritting her teeth, her eyes still narrowed. Spike cowered in fear of the Goddess.

“Twilight Sparkle's love for you is real, and as such, Cadance, saw it fit to give her a simple push with her true feelings. It was YOUR actions which led to the intimate act, Spike. It was your own choice to reject the love the unicorn tried to give you, in turn, ripping Pinkie Pie's heart out in the process. Yet after all that we have been allowed to help you...you turn your back on us?” Her voice was colder than the ice around them.

Spike was unable to tear his eyes away from the Alicorn. His body was becoming numb from the frost slowly spreading towards his feet. “You said you wouldn't forsake ME!” he screamed weakly to her.

She scoffed, slamming her right hoof onto the stone before her. A large crack formed in front of her, and a small part of the bridge dislodged itself from the entire area. It sunk into the lake, causing Spike to jump. Luna's gaze fell from the rapidly sinking stone towards him. Spike shivered once more.

“That was before you swore to the Gods, Spike. No...you deserve no mercy from any of us, and you shall now receive none! For your arrogance and insufferable cruelty towards those around you, and for daring to ridicule the Gods themselves, even after we had done all we were allowed to do in order to help, you shall never again have dreams of peace and bliss. The demons that had attached themselves to you from the Nightmare Realm will plague your very soul from this day forth!

“YOU WILL BE CURSED TO BE GIVEN NO REST WHEN YOU LAY YOUR HEAD, NO SENSE OF JUSTICE OR CALM. THE GODS HAVE TURNED THEIR GAZE FROM YOU, SPIKE THE DRAGON, FOREVER MORE. I SWEAR ON MY OWN NAME THAT I, PRINCESS LUNA, GODDESS OF THE MOON, DREAMS, AND THE NIGHT, THAT YOUR PRAYERS SHALL NEVER BE ANSWERED BY THE GODS OF EQUESTRIA AGAIN! …You will never be free of your sins, Spike. This, I vow on my crown.” Luna bellowed, finishing in a quieter, yet far darker tone.

The ice around Spike spread across his limbs. His entire body, save for his eyes, were frozen by the Alicorn. She spread her wings, and with a single flap was gliding into the air. With her eyes, mane, and tail aglow with power that was never meant for mortal eyes, she shot a cobalt blue beam of magic into Spike's chest. The dragon was thrown from the bridge into the bitter, cold water below. He slipped into unconsciousness just before the entire bridge collapsed and Luna, with a harsh snort, vanished from sight.

Twilight lifted her head, hearing something large outside being destroyed, possibly from the weather. She sniffed, wiping the tears from her eyes. She heard Peewee and Owlowiscious cry out in fear, making the mare stand from where she was weeping on the floor. She was worried about Spike, even though she was very disappointed by how he reacted to her news, and she was even angry. Still, she had no right just to throw him into the rain...did she?

Blinking, she sighed loudly, about to grab a cup of lemon tea to calm down. Then a loud, harsh knock made her pause mid-step.

Confused as to what pony in their right mind would be out during such a crazy storm, she quickly trotted to front door. She opened the door to see who it was.

When she opened it, Twilight was shocked to see Pinkie Pie in front of her. The mare's mane and tail were straight and wet from the rain, her fur in a wild style from the wind. Her face, however, was set in a serious expression, and her eyes were glowing with rage that Twilight had honestly never seen in the pink mare before.

“Payback's a bitch, isn't it, Twilight?” Pinkie Pie spat darkly.

Twilight opened her mouth to reply right before a hard crusted hoof slammed into her jaw.

Author's Note

This took a bit longer to post since Miss Dark Angel is busy, but it's not her fault. Anyway.....damn, so yeah, try to think of what would happen if you lost EVERYONE who used to love and care for you....shit, I feel so bad for the poor guy, he needs to redeem himself soon or he may never get another chance again. Thoughts?