Thoughts of an autistic pony
Equestria.
A kingdom of peace and harmony. A utopia, where all can live in comfort and friendship. Where there is freedom, understanding and equality for all!
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…
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What a bucking lie.
Oh sure. Its a peaceful place I’ll give you that. But understanding, equality?
HA!
I’m sure this come to a surprise to you. After all. Its motherbucking Equestria, an freaking utopia. However can they be no understanding, and equality?
Well, allow me to share my story.
I’m a guy who likes to play games. But not just any games, games with story. Games, with great and magnificent characters, with all shapes and sizes. Engaging personalities, histories that can make you smile with warmth, or weep in sorrow.
The ponies I play with tend to be strangers, ponies that I don’t really know. United to have fun with our story-games.
At the start, it goes well. I get along with ponies, my character interacts with the others. There might be some small disagreements here and there, but that’s okay. No pony’s perfect after all.
Then. It happens.
Just like it always happens.
Something happens in the story that I don’t like, so I voice my opinion. I mean, I’m being honest. That is good right? Honesty? I try not to annoy ponies, and I try to get my complaints small. It wouldn’t be kind to start ranting and raving, even if it is honest. That’s good, right? Kindness? Kindness and Honesty?
Yet somehow. They turn on me.
Every. Single. Pony.
I never get any support. I never have any pony trying to understand my side of things. Never try to understand me.
I am simply wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
And that’s not all. Instead of simply disagreeing with my compliment, they started criticizing me, beliting me. Holding themselves as higher ponies than me. Better ponies then me.
And they criticize me for things I don’t even do.
I am nothing but kind and respectful to others, yet I get criticized for my rudeness.
I admit and accept my flaws, and constantly seek to become a better pony. Yet I get criticized for ignoring my flaws.
If I attempt to point out their flaws, how they are in the wrong. They critize me for being a hypocrite.
Look, I’m sorry okay?!
I’m sorry I’m not a bucking perfect pony!
I’m sorry for being stubborn, and sometimes find it hard to see other’s people’s views!
I’m sorry for lashing out at the world, when the world has turned against me, and backed me into a corner!
I’m sorry that I’m different! That I have problems understanding ponies! Its not my fault, I was born this way. I was born autistic, I never meant to be rude to anyone. I never meant to get angry, and start lashing out at anyone.
But
Why does everyone always turn against me just because of one protest, one complaint?
Why does every pony look down on me, simply because I am not perfect?
Why does no one accept that I am trying to change. That I’m trying to become a better pony. But it is so, so hard!
Why does no one ever try to understand me?
Why does no one ever support me?
Why am I always the one in the wrong?
Why?
If you listened to my story. Please, do not inquire into more. The memories are painful, and I am afraid that if I reveal the recordings of what has happened, like all the others. You too will turn on me.
I just want ponies to listen, and understand why I am sharing this.
Don’t judge the surface of another pony, don’t judge the mask that they wear.
If they are rude, there is often reasons why they are rude. Some don’t even know they are being rude.
If they are being angry, and aggressive. Attempt to talk to them. Not criticizing them on their behaviour. There is no point, it simply makes the situation worse. Ask them for the reasons behind their anger, behind their aggression.
Often, you will be surprised at what lies underneath the surface.
Ponies often view anger as a childish emotion. That they should stay calm, and accept the criticism that they are being received.
What they don’t know, is that can be a defense. A way to stop from collapsing, to keep going in emotional times. Sure, the matter they are getting angry over might seem to be a silly thing. But simply because you view it as silly, doesn’t mean it is silly.
Again and again. I’ve encountered the same situation.
Again and again, I’ve been backed into a corner. When I finally free myself, the ponies around me now look down upon me.
They have no reason to, for I am just as good a pony as them. I simply have trouble expressing it.
The situations I have been in, they never had to happen. They never should have happened. Because some pony, should of asked me ‘Why’.
Why is such a small word, isn’t it? Only three letters. Yet, it has one of the simplest, but deepest of meanings of all words. Asking for the reason or purpose.
It is a word. That can and has. Changed the world forever.
I am not expecting ponies to become miracle workers. To become enlightened at the mistakes they have made in the past, and swear to never made the mistakes in the future. I simply want to teach ponies a lesson.
Whenever you come across a situation, in which the sides look obvious. Where one pony is in the wrong, and the others in the right. Where the pony in the wrong, is refusing to see the light, refusing to see the reason why he is in the wrong, and persisting that those in the right, are actually in the wrong.
Just take a second
And ask the lone pony ‘Why’
As that one question, can turn a bad ending for that one pony, into a happy ending for all.