PSG: Pinkie and Sparkle with Gummy

by Maggie PK

Rating: mature
Tags: Main 6, Nightmare Moon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 23581

A blend of the high octane action and off-the-wall characters of Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt and...My Little Pony!? Oh Boy...

Twilight Sparkle has been kicked out of Canterlot because she spends all her time studying...and because Celestia is a bitch. Waking up in a strange city that lies on the fault line between the Everfree and Equestria, Twilight has been given a task to complete if she is to be allowed to return home: rid the town of the Beasts that are threatening to destroy it and stop the evil sorceress controlling them, Lady Nightmare. Twilight can't do it alone but the only people she can count on is a crass hick, a neurotic shut-in, an overzealous diva, a reckless braggart, and a trigger-happy psycho!
This is a Panty & Stocking crossover persay. In that it's My Little Pony, if it was in a Panty & Stocking universe, but you don't have to get the context to like it, I made sure of that.
(I'm warning you right now there are going to be completely out of context crazy genre shifts)

Published 2013-02-18 20:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-04 23:11:19 UTC

Episode 1: An Egghead's Guide to Making Friends and Weaponizing Friendship

Magical Amicus
Episode 1: An Egghead's Guide to Meeting New People and Weaponizing Friendship

"There is nothing so unstable and unpredictable as life. The people you meet, the choices you make, all of it could cause a clear path to become covered by a rock slide of uncertainty. Some people try their hardest to control their life, to make the path exactly as they see fit...

I enjoy fucking with these people the most..."

Consciousness filtered in as a dull ache, at first as a subtle reminder to be ignored for a chance to return to a gray dreamless sleep, then as blinding light poured into Twilight Sparkle's unadjusted eyes it quickly arose as a crescendo of pulsing daggers and needles stabbing into the mind that dragged her back into cold reality.

Twilight pulled herself off the ground and sat herself up, not quite brave enough to make an attempt to stand yet. She found that she was pretty banged up, cuts and bruises adorned her body, and her clothes were nearly in tatters: Her purple sweater vest was torn, and her undershirt was cut in a few places, her skirt was frayed and she was missing a shoe. Her long, flat, even hair was loose and disheveled, thankfully her lucky charm bracelets remained undamaged, their identical six point stars glistened as they rested on each of her wrists. Looking about her surroundings, Twilight deduced she was in some sort of ditch or hole, and fortunately it wasn't very muddy. Her memories were little more than a dull haze at the moment; She had no idea why she was there, or even how it occured. As her headache began to fade, her focus and mental acuity slowly returned to her.

A familiar figure rolled into the ditch, Spike, her pet baby dragon. He was still pretty young by dragon standards so he was only a foot and a half tall, he had a purple scaled body and a crooked spade tail with large green spines running down his head and back. A mystical dog collar was at his neck, it was too large for him, but it always remained in place. Spike waddled next to Twilight, licking some of her wounds with his long dragon tongue.

The last thing she remembered was that she was studying at the library in Canterlot researching a teleportation spell that she planned to add to her repertoire of tricks. And that's when Twilight remembered, all of it, rushing back to her like an opened flood gate. Horror was splashed across her contorted face.

“Oh no. Oh no, this CAN'T be happening! Ohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohno,” Twilight jumped to her feet, threw her fists into the air, and screamed at the sky, “CELESTIA, YOU BITCH!!”

Suddenly Spike began to gag, looking as if he was going to vomit as he had a seizure of sorts. Then a vibrant green flame and ashen dust exploded from his mouth. The flame contorted and compressed in the air, pulling the cloud of dust together as it magically formed a scroll from the gout of flame. Twilight grabbed the scroll and began reading.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle,

That's right I'm kicking you out. You spend all or your time in the library studying and you don't do anything else. You need to get a life, make some friends, stop eating all my food, and you were kind of a bitch towards Moondancer at her party. I'm not letting you back into Canterlot until you do...for now I'm tasking you with making sure everything is prepped for my arrival in Ponyville tomorrow for the Summer Sun Celebration. I'm sending a checklist of some people you need to talk to, and have already arranged for you to stay at the local library. Now you can't say I'm a heartless bitch, can you?

With Love,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Oh, and there is a problem with these weird creatures called Beasts killing everyone around here, I'm having you deal with it. I'd do it myself but I'm basically a god and I'm waaaay too busy with all my adoring subjects worshiping my sweet ass to do it myself. Besides that's what having a protégé like you is for.”

Twilight combed over the scroll a dozen times, frantically trying to make sure she read it right. When she was sure that she had indeed been evicted from her home, Twilight lost control of her anger, crumpling the letter into a ball and pitching it high into the air. Some static surged off her arm as she extended her palm out at the flying target, ribbons of magical energy flowed around Twilight's arm as she focused her rage on the paper ball and let loose with a magical bolt of energy that vaporized its target, causing a small explosion, and showering Twilight and Spike with faint particles of ash.

Spike began to choke and gag again as he released another fireball that magically formed another scroll that had a list of her duties to oversee the arrival of the Royalty tomorrow. Twilight grabbed it out of the air and quickly memorized the names. She sighed and crawled out of the ditch, which Twilight now realized was actually a crater formed from her crash landing after being magically, and forcibly, thrown out of Canterlot.

“I guess our first task is to find some stupid orchard named Sweet Apple Acres,” Twilight said to Spike as he crawled out of the crater too.

Looking around to see where she was, Twilight observed that she had landed near the outskirts of the unfamiliar town, there were a few buildings close by, but they became farther and farther apart as the town melded into the rolling green hills. It looked like some people had began to approach the crater and were inspecting the strange new visitor that had fell from the sky, Twilight ignored their stares as she dusted herself off and began walking towards the town.

Twilight noticed there was a girl walking towards her; obviously the girl wasn't very aware of her surroundings as she hummed a soft little tune and swung her arms from side to side as she began unknowingly approaching Twilight. The girl was wearing very short shorts and a pink bikini top with a pair of suspenders draped over her shoulders, on her wrists were some large blue and yellow beaded arm bands, but the first thing Twilight noticed about her was the bright pink poofy hair that bounced as she walked, it looked almost like cotton candy.

Twilight tried to catch her attention, “Hey!” the girl's trance is broken, “Excuse me, do you know wh-”

Suddenly the mysterious girl jumped back and madly shrieked before skittering off and out of sight. Twilight stood there flabbergasted.

“Ooooookay then...”

Some time later, Twilight had figured out the location of the apple orchard and was walking down the long path that led to the property. Large, green, healthy apple trees ran down both sides of the path evenly spaced apart from each other. Each tree was adorned with bright, red, and shiny apples on each branch almost like Hearth's Warming Eve ornaments.

“Well, the person in charge of food preparation for the feast tomorrow is supposed to live around here...” said Twilight.

Twilight continued walking, not paying attention to where she was going, but her stupor was soon broken by a shout.

“Yee-Haw! Watch out there, Partner!”

Twilight's focus was broken as she looked up to see a barrage of apples falling from the trees right at her. Instinctively she reacted, focusing her concentration and casting a spell with the speed of years of practice. The apples burst into flames with one sweep of Twilight's hand before landing on the ground before her feet as charred lumps.

A woman in orange flannel and sporting a large brimmed cowboy hat approached, she had long blond hair held at the end with a single braid, and a few freckles dotting her face, her eyes were a crisp and fresh looking green, she wore a large belt, and adorned on its buckle was three shiny red apples.

“Well shoot, Ah was gonna use those apples t'make the fritters fer t'night,” she said.

“Oh my gosh! I didn't mean to, sometimes I just react and my powers go off-” Twilight exclaimed apologetically.

The woman gave Twilight a disarming smile, “Don't you worry yer pretty little head 'bout it sugar cube, jus' give me a sec, there's more where that came from.”

The farmer inspected another tree, gauging its strength and framing the branches, forming a portrait with her thumbs and forefingers. She put a large wooden bucket right underneath the tree, and stepped back, lining up the blow as she took a good fighting stance and raised her fists. Then she slid her front foot, turning her body as she roundhouse kicked the tree with her back foot. The force of the blow was enormous; it shook the entire tree and made a loud thundering boom. The tree shuddered and in no time at all the apples fell from the branches and into the bucket, filling it all the way up. Twilight would not have believed such a feat of strength was possible if she had not seen it for herself.

The farmer picked up the bucket and held it against her hips and with the her free hand grabbed Twilight's hand and shook it vigorously, “Howdy there, names Applejack, but you can call me Jack fer short, and Ah run Sweet Apple Acres here. Mind if Ah ask what brings you here, business or pleasure?”

Twilight winced at the strength of Applejack's grip, “Business,” Twilight said evenly, “I'm here from Canterlot on behalf of the Princess to inspect the food for tonight's Summer Sun Celebration.”

“Well shoot,” said Jack as she walked over to the large picnic table that was covered with all sorts of dishes of food, many of them looked like they were just pulled from the oven, and set the bucket upon it, “all you had t'do was say so, yer just in time for the Apple Family Reunion,” Jack walks over to a silver dinner bell hanging off the nearby bright red barn, “SOUP'S ON EVERYBODY!!”

“No that's quite alright, I don't need to meet your whole family, I just came to see how the food was coming along,” said Twilight, eager to squeeze herself out of this awkward social confrontation.

“That's the best part of the Apple Family, you can do both at the same time!” exclaimed Jack.

Twilight and Applejack stood silently for a couple of minutes, but nothing happened. Then a massive figure loomed over Twilight. She shrieked, wondering how someone so big could be so quiet, he was easily seven feet tall, and about as thick as a tree, Twilight doubted she had ever seen anyone so huge before, even her big brother adorned in his Captain of the Royal Guard Armor wasn't this massive, his simple red t-shirt was almost too small for him, he filled it all the way out and it showed off his massive chest muscles quite nicely, he had a mop of unkempt dirty blond hair on his head and he just a bit of scruff on his chin. Accompanying him was a younger girl, who had to be only just old enough to be considered a teenager, she had her flannel shirt done up in a way to show off her midriff, and she had a pink bow in her verdant red hair. She had an innocent and youthful appearance about her, but it was obvious she wanted to step out into the world.

It was the younger girl that spoke first, the big guy just absently stared at Twilight with sleepy looking eyes, he didn't seem to have an angry bone in his body, but the fact that he looked like he could break her in two with a flex made Twilight really uncomfortable, “I'm sorry big sis' but the family went t'go see the big crater that appeared outside of town, they heard some weird looking girl and a big walking lizard came out of it.”

Applejack observed her two visitors: a weird looking girl, and a walking lizard, “That certainly explains yer odd appearances,” she turned to Twilight, who had been slowly creeping away from the trio, “well this is mah little sister Applebloom and mah brother Big Macintosh.”

“Eeyup,” was all Big Mac said.

“Oh your family isn't here, that's a real shame,” said Twilight with sarcasm veiled just enough to pass over the three orchard farmers, “I guess I'll be going then.”

Twilight turned around and began to walk away, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief, until Jack said, “Wait!” and stopped her dead in her tracks.

Twilight slowly turned around, “Aren't you gonna at least try some of the food before t'night?” Asked Jack.

“That's okay everything looks delicious but I'm not really hungry, I had a late breakfast,” that was a lie, Twilight hadn't eaten anything all day, in fact Twilight often forgot to eat or sleep for days because of her fanatical studying, she just really wanted to get out of here.

“Hogwash,” said Jack, “look at you! Yer skin and bones, Ah'll just give you a little something for the road, wouldn't want you t'get hungry now would Ah?”

“Suuuuure...” said Twilight.

Twilight made it back to the city, and was on her way to the gathering hall, where decorations were supposed to be up. She was carrying in her arms a huge pile of Apple related food: Apple Cobbler, Caramel Apples, Apple Strudel, Apple Pie, Apple Cupcakes, Apple Cider, Apple Salad, Apple Tart, Apple Brioche, Apple Sauce, Apple Juice, it was all too much food, and she didn't feel like eating, so she gave it all to Spike. He managed to eat every bite, gulping it down voraciously, where he put that food was beyond Twilight, but she made a mental note to figure that out later.

Twilight was crossing the road when a blur flew down the street, clipping Twilight and knocking her over.

“Hey! Why don't you watch where the hell you're going, you crazy psycho! You nearly ran me over!” shouted Twilight.

The blur stopped almost immediately, and then began to slowly turn around and pull back up to Twilight. It was some person on a custom cyan-colored motorcycle, with a red, blue, and yellow lightning bolt decal running down the sides. It was a girl, her tight jeans and open leather jacket revealing her bust attested to that, though her face was obscured by a motorcycle helmet. She looked at Twilight on the ground; there was a brief moment of tension as Twilight stared at the reflective visor, unsure of what this stranger was capable of. Twilight spied something slung across the biker's back, a sheathed katana; Twilight began focusing her magical energy, preparing for an assault.

The girl turned off her motorcycle and dismounted, pulling her helmet off and revealing rainbow colored hair, she offered a hand to Twilight to help her up, Twilight relaxed and took the hand.

“Sorry 'bout that I guess,” the girl said, “ames Dash, Rainbow Dash, self appointed hero of Ponyville, and future member of the greatest group of heroes, the Wonderbolts.”

Twilight looked at her rainbow colored hair again, “Come up with that name on your own?”

Dash hadn't heard the comment because she spotted Spike next to Twilight and immediately pulled out her katana, charging after it, Spike panicked and started to run away.

“It's a Beast, kill it!” said Dash.

Twilight had to grab Dash's arms to stop her from chopping up Spike, “No relax, that's my pet dragon, he's not dangerous at all!”

Dash looked at Twilight for a moment, then back at Spike, who hid behind Twilight's leg and stuck his tongue out defiantly at Dash, and then re-sheathed her blade, “If you say so.”

“What do you know about these Beasts? What do they look like? How long have they been appearing? How do you kill them?” Twilight asked, remembering Celestia's other appointed task.

Rainbow Dash shrugged, “I don't know, a couple of months I guess, they're usually pretty stealthy and stuff, but you can catch them by spotting these weird black smoke orb thingies that appear whenever they're near.”

“So you've killed one before?” asked Twilight.

Dash rubbed the back of her head, “Well umm, about that....”

“Rainbow Dash?”

“Yah?

“Have you even fought one before?”

“Maybe, once or twice, possibly...”

Twilight glared at her.

“Umm, no,” Dash admitted in defeat.

Twilight rolled her eyes, “Then what do you actually do as the 'self-appointed hero of Ponyville'?”

“Mostly I just be cool, sign autographs, be awesome, and save runaway baby carriages, seriously, you'd be surprised how often that happens.”

“Aren't cool and awesome the same thing?” asked Twilight.

Dash smirked, “Someone like you would think that wouldn't you?”

Twilight slumped over and let out a long sigh, “Whatever, if you can't help me with the Beast problem I'll just have to keep going then.”

Dash was impressed, only a teeny tiny bit though, “You're here to kill the Beasts? We should hang out some time.”

Twilight rolled her eyes again, “suuuure that sounds like a ton of fun.” Apparently no one in Ponyville had ever heard of sarcasm, because Dash didn't take the hint.

“Awesome, well, see you later then,” Dash put her helmet back on and revved the engine on her cycle before speeding away and pulling a wheelie, Twilight was impressed, only a teeny tiny bit though.

Twilight walked into the gathering hall, and saw that it's many pillars and raised stage was adorned with long, winding ribbons. From the ceiling hung several banners, all bearing the crest of the immortal Princess Celestia, a seven pointed sun.

“Well the decorations are coming along smoothly, looks like I’ll be getting out pretty soo-”

Twilight's conversation with herself was cut short by someone shrieking, “EWW EWW EWW! GET THIS SCALY RAT AWAY FROM ME!”

Twilight hadn't even realized that Spike had run off and was trying to straddle some poor girl’s leg. The girl kicked Spike all the way across the hall and Twilight caught him in midair with a telekinesis spell. With her assaulter detained the girl tried to regain her composure, and fix her appearance after being marred by a horny baby dragon.

The girl was wearing a short white dress with black nylon hosiery on her legs. She was fairly tall, but Twilight figured that without the high heels the girl was wearing, she would actually be shorter than Twilight. On her neck was a beautiful necklace, adorned with three large diamonds . Her hair was dark with a purple sheen to it and was straight, but it had been lovingly curled a few times.

“I am so sorry, I've never seen him behave like that before,” Twilight apologized, never being more embarrassed in her life.

The girl stood straight up, “That's fine, it...it was noth-” her rattled apology stopped once she saw the state of Twilight's hair and apparel, “Oh my stars darling, whatever happened to your coiffure?”

Twilight realized her clothes were still in tatters and she looked like a mess, “Oh, it's nothing I was gonna fix it when I got home.”

“Nonsense, I cannot let this crime against fabulousity go unpunished,” the girl proclaimed, “just let Miss Rarity work her magic.”

“Don't worry, I can fix it, okay,” said Twilight, holding off the unwanted advances from 'Miss Rarity'.

Twilight gathered up her focus and began recalling a spell for mending, it was usually used for healing, but in this case Twilight simply modified it to return her clothes to their former status. Threads of glowing purple energy weaved in and out of the cloth, bringing together the tears and mending the seams. Within a few moments the spell was complete and her clothes were good as new, Twilight even managed to duplicate her missing shoe.

Rarity was not impressed, “I don't know what's worse, that you somehow think you've improved your attire, or that you actually like dressing up like a dusty librarian. I can't in good conscience let you go about like that, and I never take no for an answer. Come! To my boutique, Darling, you are in for a treat!” Rarity grabbed Twilight by the wrist and dragged her out of the hall.

“No, please, stop, where are you taking me? Help!” Twilight vainly tried to struggle from her would be kidnapper as Rarity took her downtown to her shop.

“Welcome!” said Rarity as she opened the doors widely and motioned with her hand, “to the Carousel Boutique!” She could barely contain her excitement, “darling, you are just going to love the outfits I have got in line for you!”

Twilight tried to get away, but Rarity grabbed her and placed her up on a podium. Seeing escape would be nearly impossible, she instead just stood there and folded her arms as Rarity wheeled in a huge selection of clothing on a long rack. That's when Twilight discovered something about Rarity; she too was a magic user. The clothing on the rack began to glow with a faint blue energy, and floated off the rack, and came to life, like a stylish version of the Sorcerer's Apprentice.

Rarity took her time preparing each ensemble, a fact to which Twilight was not amused. When she finished arranging the outfit it floated off towards Twilight, to strip her of her current clothing and put themselves on Twilight, with or without her consent.

Rarity compared each outfit to see how they appeared on her newest model “No. No. Uh-uh, Too green. Too yellow. Too poofy. Not poofy enough. Too frilly. Too...Shiny.”

Rarity started to tighten a gem encrusted corset and ball gown on Twilight, struggling to pull it as tight as possible, not taking into consideration the wearer needing to be able to breathe with it on, “Now-unnh-go on my dear, you were telling me-eerrn-where you're from.”

Twilight struggled to speak, “I've...been sent...from Canterlot...To-”

Rarities perked up after hearing that, and let go of the corset, causing it to whiplash on both of them, flinging the two in opposite direction. Rarity immediately recovered.

“Canterlot!?” Rarity exclaimed, barely able to keep the stars out of her eyes, “Oh, I am so envious! The glamour, the sophistication! I have always dreamed of living there! I can't wait to hear all about it,” Rarity helps Twilight up and embraces her with a big hug, “We are gonna be the best of friends, you and I,” Rarity fret over Twilight's gem studded outfit, “emeralds?! What was I thinking; let me get you some rubies!”

Rarity scampered out of sight, probably to get a whole new ensemble. Twilight took the opportunity to grab her original clothes and flee from the crazy fashion designer while she had the chance. Twilight quickly grabbed Spike, who had started to follow Rarity, probably to try to dry hump her leg again, and ran out of the building

“Come on Spike, before she tries to dye my hair a new color,” said Twilight as they fled.

Luckily there was only one thing left on the list, music. Twilight wanted to hurry up finish checking on preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration so that she could hit the local library and discover and information that she could on these 'Beasts'. Any answer worth finding would probably be in the books there.

Her train of thought was broken when Twilight began to hear a gentle wafting song of hundreds of birds singing in harmony, like a tiny, natural orchestra. She followed the sound until she reached a small grove, with a tree in the center; on its branches were a menagerie colorful birds: finches, jays, cardinals, robins, mockingbirds, sparrows, and even a few doves. Acting as the conductor for the birds was a tall wispy figure; she had long flowing hair held in place by a couple of hairpins that looked like butterflies. With her gentle lead, the birds acted as a single instrument, all of them except a tiny out-of-tune blue jay.

The girl spoke softly interrupting the practice session, “Oh, my. Um, stop please everyone,” she addressed the poorly pitched blue jay, “um excuse me sir, I mean, no offense, but, your rhythm is just a teeny-tiny bit off,” she took her original position and was about ready to start the rehearsal all over again, “now follow me please, a one, a two, a one, two, three-”

“Hello!”

The birds flew off, frightened from the sudden noise, the girl looked like she would too, if she had wings.

Realizing what she had done, Twilight apologized, “I'm sorry I didn't mean to frighten your birds I'm just here to check up on the music and it sounds really beautiful.”

The girl just kind of stood there, unsure of what to do or say. Twilight gave an awkward kind of smile, trying to lighten up the tension, it didn't help.

“I'm Twilight Sparkle,” she said, in an attempt for the girl to at least look at her, nothing, “And your name is?”

“I'm, I'm,” the girl said, in a voice so quiet Twilight could barely hear it, “I'm Fluttershy.”

Twilight cleaned her ear out, “I'm sorry, what did you say?”

The girl's body language got even more closed off, “Um, my name is Fluttershy.”

“Good grief girl, just spit it out!”

Now the scared girl's voice was barely more than an imperceptible high pitched whine, as she took a step from Twilight. There was another long moment of awkward off silence as the two just stood there. Slowly the birds began to fly back to the perches on the lone tree.

“Well, it looks like your birds are back,” said Twilight, breaking the silence, “So I guess everything's in order, keep up the good work.”

The girl just whimpered.

Twilight turned from the strange girl and started walking back to the path out of the grove, just then Spike came out from his spot in the bushes where he had been chasing a butterfly.

“IS THAT A BABY DRAGON?!” cried out the girl, rushing up to Spike and nearly knocking over Twilight, “Oh I've never seen a baby dragon before, he's so cute.”

The girl picked up Spike and hugged him tightly. Spike struggled at first, but then he realized he enjoyed the warm embrace, even starting to purr a bit.

“Oh how adorable,” coos the girl, “I didn't know dragons could sound like that, I don't even know what to say.”

Twilight picked Spike out of the girl’s arms with her telekinesis and put him on the ground next to her, “well in that case we better be going.”

“Oh wait, wait what's his name?” the girl asked as she began to follow Twilight and Spike back into town.

“Spike” Twilight said curtly.

The girl picked Spike up in her arms again and made a baby face at him, “Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy.”

On the walk back into town Fluttershy asked absolutely every question she could think of about baby dragons, from diet, to scale grooming, fire breathing, wing growth, social behaviors, and even mating cycles. Fluttershy didn't seem to notice that her constant barrage of questions had nearly drove Twilight insane because she kept asking them right up until they had reached the library, which was actually an enormous house-sized tree that had been magically hollowed out.

“I am so sorry,” said Twilight with feigned sincerity, “how did we get to here so fast? This is where I'm staying while in Ponyville, and my poor baby dragon needs his sleep.”

Twilight forcibly lifted Spike out of Fluttershy's arms with her telekinesis again, putting him on the ground so hard he fell over, “Ah look at that, he's so sweepy he can't even keep his wittle bawance.”

“Oh you poor thing, we simply must get him to bed,” spoke Fluttershy as she swept Spike off the ground and began to walk into Twilight's temporary home, the library.

Twilight beat her to it, grabbing Spike from Fluttershy and standing in the door frame, “Yes, yes, I'll get right on that, well goodnight.”

Twilight closed the door on the unwanted house guest, leaving Twilight in the darkened library. She could just barely make out the shape of Spike, and she could see he was quite sad and dejected looking.

“I'm sorry Spike, but I need some time alone so I can do some studying and figure out how to stop these Beasts without a bunch of crazy people constantly trying to make friends all the time,” Twilight look about the pitch black library, “now, where’s the light switch?”

Suddenly a flood of light and noise stunned Twilight as she realized the dark and empty library was now a bright and noisy library completely filled with people who all yelled “Surprise!” in unison.

Twilight sighed as the 'party' went into full throttle as people began talking, cheering, cavorting, and generally making it impossible for there to be even a chance for Twilight to be able to study in peace.

“Surprise!”

Twilight turned around to see the girl that screamed earlier today, the one with the bouncy pink hair.

“Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you,” her voice was high pitched and sounded about as sickeningly sweet as a pound of sugar, “Were you surprised? Were you, were you? Huh, huh, huh?”

Twilight talked to this 'Pinkie' girl as if she were a child, “Very surprised, libraries are supposed to be quiet.”

“Well that's silly! What kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh, bo-ring!”

The girl just kept talking.

“Y'see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? You were all ‘Hello’ and I was all 'AAAAA!' Remember? Y'see I've never seen you before, and if I've never seen you before that means you're new, cause I know everyone, and I mean everyone in Ponyville."

And talking.

"And if your new, that meant you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me sad."

And talking.

"Then I had an idea, and that's why I went 'AAAAA!' I wanted to throw a great big, ginormous, super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite Ponyville, See?”

She was sure that Pinkie hadn't taken a single breath that whole time.

Twilight looked to see the four other people she had met earlier were in the crowd, before Pinkie finished talking, “and now you have lots and lots of friends!”

Twilight pulled at her hair in exasperation before storming off up stairs to the second floor of the library and into a closed off bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Pinkie watched the whole thing, “Oh she' so happy she doesn't even know what to say.”

Nearly an hour had passed and the party had shown no signs of slowing down, but Twilight tried her hardest to ignore the festivities downstairs. What little research she had managed to do regarding the Beast infestation had been vague at best. Twilight ran a held her forefingers against her temple as she re-read the passage she had found in the book regarding beasts.

Beasts originated during the pre-Equestrian era, in the time that primordial spirits of Chaos like the demon Discord ravaged and twisted the land. They are powerful, and are not actually living breathing creatures, but supernatural entities that have taken physical form. Their phantasmagorical origins make placing an exact shape and size difficult, and there are even some legends persist that some were capable of changing shape at will to disguise their appearence. They constantly leak excess ectoplasmic energy in the form of black will-o-wisps (That must be the orbs of black smoke Dash had talked about, Twilight thought to herself). It is possible to destroy a Beast's physical form, however, this will only delay the inevitable, as in time the Beast's spirit will be able to reform its material body and return. There is however a means to permanently banish a Beast to Tartarus using the Elements of Harmony...

“Elements of Harmony?” Twilight said to herself.

With the deft hand of an accomplished scholar, Twilight combed through shelf after shelf of books, searching for the right tome. She had distantly remembered reading about the Elements of Harmony, but she couldn’t remember where.

“Aha!” said Twilight, holding up a dusty green book, “Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide.”

Twilight swiftly skimmed the book, and quickly became disheartened. The Elements of Harmony were ancient relics of untold power, and an unknown origin. Their discovery by the Royal Princesses had led to the banishment of Discord, but since then, their whereabouts have been lost to the sands of time. The last known location was in the ruined Castle of the Royal Sisters, which resides in what is now known as the Everfree Forest, a labyrinthine jungle of choking flora, and hostile fauna that constantly shifts and changes.

Realizing that she had reached an impasse, Twilight put the book back. That’s when she had realized something. There hadn’t been any noise whatsoever for that past ten minutes; it had been quiet...too quiet.

“Something’s wrong,” Twilight said as she hurried downstairs.

The main room of the tree-library was a complete mess, but completely devoid of people, trash was strewn about the entire room, and Spike lay curled up on the floor, passed out and with a lampshade hanging on his head.

Then the entire floor trembled, as if an earthquake was set off. That was when Pinkie poked her head through the door.

“Come on, there's something going on at the hall, let’s go!” She said, not waiting to see if Twilight actually followed or not.

Twilight followed Pinkie as she led her to the gathering hall at the center of town. It was the middle of the night, nearly time for dawn, but the street lamps provided more than enough light. The roads were usually packed during the Summer Sun Celebration, but at this time they would be at the gathering hall where the festivities would reach their zenith by now so Ponyville looked nearly abandoned. Without party goers to impede Twilight's path they reached the hall fairly quickly.

Or what was left of it. Half of it had been utterly decimated, it didn’t look like anyone was hurt, but people were strewn about the hall, shell shocked or unconscious. A thick, hazy, black fog covered the floor; it was the color of the night sky and was nearly as obscuring.

Slowly the fog began to pulse and undulate gathering to the center of the stage, where it began to take form. It packed and packed itself, becoming thicker and thicker as it became…a woman! Twilight gasped as a woman came to stand before the confused masses gathered about her. From her head flowed the same black fog that she had materialized from, it looked like a flowing tapestry of a moonless night, with stars twinkling in and out of existence. The flowing gaseous hair obscured parts of her, but there was enough to grasp her terrifying figure. Her eyes were piercing and venomous, but her lips had a seductive half-smile/half-pout, as if inviting you to your own doom. Her gaze moved from person to person, but many of them turned away, too fearful to look into the face of such a terror. The mysterious lady let out a long and sultry laugh that echoed throughout the hall, causing many to cower in fear.

“I…” the mysterious woman paused for dramatic effect, “am Lady Nightmare, I am here to topple the endless reign of the corrupt and vile ruler you have all been slaving for, Princess Celestia,” she uttered the Princess's name with the utmost revulsion as if it's mere mention were to make her visibly ill, “and I will raise an army from the bowels of Tartarus the likes of which has not been glimpsed by mortal kind in millennia!”

As if on cue a large black mass appeared from the hazy murk, it leaped onto the stage revealing the frightening view of a demonic winged horse, its coat was as black as a moonless night, and its mane and tail flowed exactly like the sorceress's hair. Lady Nightmare deftly mounted her steed as it brayed and snorted, bellowing smoke and fire from its nose and mouth, wisps of black smoke flickered in and out of existence all around it, like deathly fireflies.

“I am your salvation, your chance for freedom from an eternity of servitude,” she outstretched her arms towards the unenlightened masses, her voice becoming a deafening noise, as fog and lightning formed a miniature storm right inside the half-destroyed hall, “I will take you all, willing or not, to a glorious new destiny!”

The horse whinnied and outstretched its wings, revealing an impressive wingspan that cast a threatening shadow over the gathering. It lifted its front legs off the ground and threw its head up, becoming a fearsome wraith as it flapped its wings and took off, leaving the ruined building behind as Lady Nightmare threw a throaty laugh that sent chills down Twilight's spine.

Most people quickly flew to their homes with their loved ones, but not Twilight. She ran right after Lady Nightmare, even though she was quickly becoming a dot in the sky. Suddenly a hand grabbed her and stopped her, she turned to see a familiar rainbow colored motorcyclist staring warily at her.

“Everyone around are hiding with their families, and here you are running after that Nightmare lady, who just happens to show up the day you arrive. Who are you really? Are you a spy?” Dash accused.

“Simmer down Sally. She ain't no spy,” Twilight turned to see Jack catching up with them, followed by Fluttershy, Pinkie and Rarity, “but I reckon she sure knows what's going on, dontcha Twilight?”

Twilight looked at the five before her, “I was sent here to stop the threat of the Beasts so I was doing some research on them, some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can permanently banish them back to Tartarus, there are six in total, but they were lost somewhere in the Everfree Forest. I figured that Lady Nightmare would lead me right to them so I was going to follow her, but now I've lost her trail.”

Rarity was the one that spoke up, “Oh don't worry about that darling. Scrying is my forte, that dreadful Lady Nightmare left plenty of her unpleasant-smelling aura back at the hall for me to track, just give me a second and I should be able to cast a spell that will create a visible path and lead us right to her.”

She closed her eyes, delicate ribbons of magical energy floated off her palms, seeping into the ground. Suddenly a blinding light cast from her palms, when it faded, a faint but very distinct purple trail of energy floated in the air where Lady Nightmare had flown through the sky.

“Thank you,” said Twilight, “I appreciate the help, but now you all should get home now, it’s too dangerous for you guys to come along.”

The five all looked at each other, then back at Twilight, but not a single one budged from their spot.

“That's awfully sweet of you sugar cube,” said Jack with a tip of her hat, “but Equestria's our home too, and just because that lady talked a big game about saving us an whatnot, but Ah don't think she has the best of intentions. Besides, you're seriously thinking of going in The Everfree Forest alone? A place with nicknames like the living labyrinth, the bane of a thousand lost souls, and the unfathomable oblivion?”

“Plus it's really dirty,” chimed in Rarity, as if that was relevant.

“And scary...” whispered Fluttershy, who desperately wanted to be home right now.

“And if you're going to fight a wicked powerful demonic sorceress,” said Dash with her chest puffed out, “Your gonna need back up, fortunately I never leave home without Rainbolt,” Dash unsheathed her katana and held it up high, letting it glisten in the moonlight.

Twilight let out a big sigh, “Fine let's go then.”

“Yippee! Let's get this party started,” Pinkie said as she gleefully pulled out a fully armed twelve-gauge combat shotgun and cocked it, making the ever so distinct chk-chk! of a shell being loaded into the chamber, and skipped with way to much mirth than anyone armed with a firearm should.

The other five jumped back at seeing Pinkie pull a gun from who knows where, “Uhhh-where did you get that?” Twilight asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

“Silly-Billy, I never leave home without a really big gun, sometimes a party can get out a control, and sometimes Auntie Pinkie needs to lay the smackdown,” said Pinkie, as if that somehow answered the question.

The group continued to follow Rarity's aura trail through the Everfree as it lead them through the twisted branches and ghastly foliage. The forest had a sickly color that came with its grotesque way of growing. The calls and echoes of strange and unknown creatures resonated indistinctively throughout the entire forest, somehow managing to sound as if it was right next to them and very far away at the same time.

Each member of the party reacted to the unpleasant surroundings differently. Rarity focused on maintaining the aura tracking spell. Jack kept a constant vigil, checking every dark corner for potential threats. Dash was calm and relaxed walking towards the front, holding Rainbolt on her shoulder. Pinkie skipped and bounced, as if she was back at the party, before it exploded. Fluttershy was painfully attached to Twilight, holding her arm in a vice like grip, clenching even tighter at the sound of each noise, much to the irritation of Twilight.

“Just what makes the Everfree so dangerous anyway?” Twilight wondered aloud, breaking the nervous silence of the group.

“You m-mean you’re not-t s-s-scared?” trembled Fluttershy.

“Oh come on it's not bad,” said Twilight.

The entire group, even Dash, stopped and just stared at Twilight as if she was utterly insane.

“Well I'm not saying I want to build a summer home here, but it could be worse, whats so bad about it?” Twilight asked.

“Noooo body knooows...” Dash said, in a faux spooky voice reserved for telling ghost stories around a campfire as she turned back the rest of the group, “do you know why?”

“Dash quit it,” said Jack, noticing that the others were already scared enough.

Dash ignored her, “Cause anybody who has ever gone into the Everfree has never. Come. Out.”

Suddenly, as if on cue, the ground collapsed beneath their feet as they began sliding down a newly formed slope of dirt. Reacting quickly, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had grabbed Rarity and Pinkie, stopping them from falling down the slope, but Jack and Twilight were not so lucky. The two were quickly descending to the bottom of the slope, which fell off into a sheer cliff face. Jack managed to grab onto some exposed roots to stop herself, but Twilight couldn't slow down enough. She nearly fell off the cliff and was hanging for dear life at the edge, barely holding on.

“Hold on, Ahma comin'!” Jack shouted out, as she slowly slid down the steep slope to reach Twilight.

Jack grabbed Twilight's arms and tried to hoist her up, but the awkward position of the slope made that impossible without losing her leverage and falling, all Jack could do was hold Twilight and make sure she couldn't fall.

“Jack what do I do?” asked a panicked Twilight.

Jack looked over Twilight's shoulders, then back at her, “Let go,” she said with the utmost sincerity.

“Are you crazy?” said Twilight.

“No Ah ain't, Ah promise, you'll be safe-”

“That's not true!”

“Now listen, Ah am telling you the honest truth, if you let go, you will be okay.”

Twilight looked right into Jack's unwavering, unflinching eyes and she could tell that she had meant every word. Letting out a deep breath, Twilight released her grip on Applejack's arms and began to scream as she fell to her death, or so she thought. In actuality, after Dash and Fluttershy had saved Rarity and Pinkie, they all hurried around the long way to the bottom of the cliff, and with the help of Rarity slowing down Twilight's fall with a levitation spell Dash caught her on the way down. After Twilight had safely landed on the ground, she turned to see Jack safely climb down the cliff.

“See? What did Ah tell you?” Jack said.

“Aw man did you see me?” Dash boasted, “Once Pinkie and Rarity were safe, I saw you were about to fall, so I sprinted on over, and woosh! Bam! Caught you right in the nick of time.”

Twilight was not amused, this was the third time Dash had told them all about how she had saved the entire group single-handedly in the past half hour, “Yes, I know, I was ther-”

“Did anybody hear that!?” interrupted Fluttershy, who had moved to squeezing Jack's arm.

There was a moment of silence as the group listened, “Ah don't hear anything,” said Jack.

Dash smirked, “Fluttershy you need to stop being such a sca-”

And that's when the rest of them heard it, a deep rumbling sound, like the distant purring of a tractor, or a tank. Slowly and with a predator's grace a hulking figure came up from behind the group, almost by surprise. It's shape was too dark to see, but it's eyes were glowing, and small black will-o-wisps had began materializing around the creature, and the group.

“Look out!” cried Jack.

Suddenly the beast pounced into view, and let out an ear-splitting roar as it raised itself on its back legs, showing off large muscle bound chest, massive claws, and large chitinous wings, behind it a long scorpion's tail stood poised and ready to strike.

“It's a Manticore!” cried Twilight.

The Manticore was closest to Rarity so it leaped after her first and took a swipe with its razor sharp claws. The attack would have beheaded the fashionista had she not quickly ducked and retaliated with a burst of magical energy at point blank range.

“Take that you ruffian!” said Rarity.

The Manticore responded by bellowing right in Rarity's ear, to which she reacted as anybody would, she ran away behind the others.

“Wait,” said Fluttershy, trying to stop the others.

Rarity's distraction had been more than enough to give Jack the chance to get behind the Manticore and leap up on its massive back. She wrapped her arms around the Manticore's thick neck in a choke hold ignoring the painful sharp spines on its back as they dug into her arms, but this only succeeded in enraging the Beast as it began flailing about, madly trying to knock off the unwanted parasite.

“Wait,” said Fluttershy again.

The Manticore flung Jack off its back, causing her to fly through the air and land next to Dash.

“All yours partner,” Jack groaned.

Dash pulled out Rainbolt and began to charge head first at the Manticore, the Manticore braced itself for an assault.

“WWWWAAAAIIITTT!!!” Fluttershy cried out, blocking Dash's path

“What are you doing Fluttershy?” Dash said.

“Can't you see the poor dear is in pain?” said Fluttershy.

When Fluttershy was met with blank stares, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Before anyone could react, Fluttershy grabbed Rainbolt out of Dash's hands and charged at the Manticore. It braced itself for an attack, but what it didn't expect was for Fluttershy to jump up on its back and stab the Manticore right between its shoulder blades.
The attack was met with a high pitched screeching, like a thousand nails on a thousand chalkboards, as a creature that had been the Manticore's wings and barbed tail had pulled itself off the Manticore's back. The creature looked like a cross between a bat, a scorpion and a centipede.

“There's the Beast! Pinkie SHOOT IT!!” Fluttershy shouted.

“Okie dokie lokie!” said Pinkie.

It took her seconds to line up the shot as the creature wildly flew up into the air and attempted to dive bomb at the girls, trying to stab them with its poison stinger. Pinkie pulled the trigger and her shotgun exploded into a funnel of violent fire as it ripped apart the Beast's chitinous shell, causing it to crash land a few feet in front of them. The body was still mindlessly flailing about when Pinkie walked up to it and put one more shell into its head, silencing the thing for good. It's body began melting into a pile of smoke and ash that simply blew away.

With the Beast gone, the girls turned to see Fluttershy in the embrace of a fully grown mountain lion, which was playfully licking her face.

“Aw you’re just a little ole' baby kitty aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are.” said Fluttershy gently to the lion.

The rest of the group started to continue on the aura trail, but Twilight waited for Fluttershy to catch up, “How did you know that the Beast was possessing that lion?” Twilight asked.

“I saw how the lion's face was in pain and it needed help. That, and I noticed the second head peeking out from under the mane,” Fluttershy added.

The party of six continued to follow the trail, unfortunately the trees started to become thicker and thicker, blocking out all light, and the trail, from view as the canopy closed around them. A wind blew through the trees, causing them to make a very lifelike moan that unsettled the girls.

“Oh good heavens I can't see a thing,” said Rarity, “how are we supposed to follow Lady Nightmare's trail if we can't see it?”

“That ancient ruin could be right under our noses and we wouldn't even know it,” said Twilight.

The group fumbled about in the dark, desperate to get out of this thick brush as a fast as possible, but they constantly kept tripping over large roots and knocking into trees and hanging branches, and Jack was sure she stepped in something.

“Aah! Something groped me!” exclaimed Rarity.

“What're you talkin' about?” Jack asked.

The response was cut off by Fluttershy screaming at the top off her lungs. The group turned to see that the trees were glowing, and on their long gnarled trunks were twisted and tortuous faces. Their jagged and thorny branches were grasping at the girls, trying to tangle them up in a web of thorns. Every where the group turned they saw ghastly trees, and they all seemed to be shifting closer and closer. The girls couldn't do anything but scream as the demonic trees closed in. They screamed and screamed and laughed as loud as they could-

Wait, what? While the others were huddled together, Pinkie had been laughing at the trees, laughing and making childish faces.

“Pinkie, what are you doing? Run!” Twilight said.

“Granny Pie always said that you gotta lull your enemies into a false sense of security by making silly faces and laughing at them,” Pinkie responded.

And it worked, because the tree never even suspected Pinkie would grab a chainsaw and rip into its face. The other trees started to shift away from the psychotic pink one, but they were trees, they couldn't exactly move fast, so Pinkie had her work cut out for her as she slashed through all the trees.

Now that the trees had cleared up, the aura trail was visible again, so the girls picked the hunt right back up, following the glowing path through the Everfree in the middle of the night. With Pinkie leading the way and cutting down any foliage, they made excellent time, breezing right through what seemed the thickest part of the forest, until they reached a river.
This was not an ordinary river, because if it was, the group could just cross it. This river was a writhing mass of white-capped, shifting rapids and bubbling water about a hundred meters wide. The shifting waters did an excellent job of hiding what was lying underneath the waves because the girls had no idea that they were being watched.

“What do we do now?” asked Dash, “I mean, I could probably cross this, but I don't know about you guys-”

Dash's boasting was interrupted by a huge sea serpent springing out of the water, and causing a surge of water to rush out and knock down the girls.

It's long snake like body was producing the rapids by undulating itself, creating wave after wave to crash into each other and make the water impassable. It's face resembled a crocodile, with row upon row of jagged teeth, the size of its head was roughly the size of an SUV. The body was easily two football fields in length covered with a myriad of luminescent scales, but most of it was hidden underwater. Despite being obviously reptilian, the sea serpent had a long flowing mane of hair, carefully groomed in a pompadour, at the end of it snout was an equally groomed mustache, that flowed and swayed to compliment the serpent's motion. Black, wispy, spheres gave the tell tale sign of a Beast, no doubt about it this time.
Unfortunately every attempt to try and get close to the sea dragon was met with a crashing wave of water. Pinkie tried shooting it, but it just swatted the buck shot shells out of the air with its large claws.

“How are we going to kill this thing?” asked Twilight as she feebly slung magical balls of lightning at the Beast.

Rarity's eyes opened wide in comprehension, as she grabbed Dash's sword from her.

“Hey! That's mine! What is with you people?” Dash feebly protested, before mumbling to herself, “you could have at least asked...”

Rarity took the blade and magically flung it at the dragon, but instead of stabbing the dragon, she made the blade hack off half of the Beast's mustache, before arcing the sword back into Dash's hands. Seeing his carefully groomed do was ruined, the Beast began twisting in agony and rage. In his blind rage he had completely forgotten his would be attackers, giving Twilight plenty of time to gather up power. She created a large ball of lightning that she shot right in the Beast's face, causing him to collapse just a few feet before the girls, paralyzed. Allowing Dash to get in close and deliver a killing stab right throughout the dragon's skull.

“Right between the eyes,” Dash said triumphantly as she put Rainbolt back in its sheathe.

Now that the river had calmed down, they were free to pass.

“Quick girls, we can cross on the dragon's body before it disintegrates,” Twilight exclaimed.

With the river behind them, Twilight stopped to ask Rarity a question, “How did you know that the creature would react like that?”

“I saw how much care and effort that dreadful beast had put into his mane, and knew must have meant a lot to him. If someone had done something to my hair I don't know what I would do.” Rarity replied.

As they continued journeying, the group could actually see the ruins of castle peeking out from the cover of trees. Seeing their goal was almost at hand, the girls began running through the forest. So close to finally being able to stop Lady Nightmare before her plans begin, Twilight wasn't even paying attention to where she was going, until she ran out of ground.
Luckily Dash grabbed Twilight by the shoe just as she disappeared over the, unexpected drop. With the help of Jack she pulled Twilight back up and unto actual ground.

“Man, you and cliffs just are not getting along today” Dash said.

The group had reached a large gorge; thick fog obscured the bottom keeping them from seeing how deep it was. On the other side, the castle was clearly visible. The only way across was a flimsy rope bridge, but that bridge was severed, as Twilight so painfully discovered.

“Oh no, what are we going to do?” Pinkie asked.

“Don't worry; I got this,” Dash said, “Jack do you mind?”

While Dash severed a long thick vine from a nearby tree and tied one end to the bridge post, Jack got into position right at the end of the cliff, ready to provide a spring board with her arms and give Dash an extra push.

“I could probably levitate you across,” said Twilight.

“Relax egghead, I don't need magic or your fancy logic,” said Dash as she got into position for a running start, “I can cross this gap with pure concentrated awesome.”

And that's exactly what Dash did as she ran straight at Applejack and launched over the gorge through the foggy air and out of sight from the others, landing on the other side with a somersault. Dash started to tie the end of the vine to the post when she heard an ethereal voice beckon her.

“Rainbow...” it called to her, “Rainbow...”

“Show yourself, I ain't afraid of you,” Dash called out as she drew Rainbolt.

“We have been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the greatest hero in Equestria...”

“Who?” Dash asked blissfully.

“Why, you of course.”

“Really? I mean- yeah of course you were.”

“We’ve been waiting for a hero strong enough-”

“Sounds right.”

“Brave enough-“

“Oh please stop, your making me blush…(don’t stop).”

“and awesome enough-“

“Not that I don’t totally enjoy all this praise, but I’ve got shit to do, so can you just tell me what you want so I can get back to helping my friends.”

“We can give you more power than you can ever dream of, all you have to do is leave your friends, and follow us-“

“What?!”

The voice was a tantalizing whisper in Dash’s ear, “What’s wrong Rainbow Dash? Don't you want everyone to admire you? Do you want to be adored and loved by everyone? We can make that happen. You will have thousands of people screaming your name, you will become the greatest hero Equestria has ever known, you'll even be better than the Wonderbolts. Don’t you want that? We can make it happen. We can make you better...cooler....more awesome.”

At the mention of that last part Dash’s eyes widened, “JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!?! I AM ‘RAINBOW-FREAKING-DASH’ THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE BADASS-ENOUGH TO HAVE A NAME LIKE THAT AND STILL BE THE COOLEST MOFO’ YOU EVER SEEN, AND IF YOU THINK I’M JUST GONNA LEAVE MY FRIENDS HANGIN’ YOU GOTTA ANOTHER THING COMIN’!!”

Dash drew out Rainbolt, as she deftly swung through the fog with her blade, “ WHO-THE-HELL-DO-THINK-I-AM-SWORD-ATTACK!!” the fog parted ways, revealing a ghostly apparition slinking in the fog near Dash, “I’M-NEVER-GONNA-ABANDON-MY-FRIENDS-PUUUUNCH!!”

And with that, Dash punched a ghost, that’s right she punched a ghost. A move so audacious that the universe decided to let the laws of physic slide this one time just because Dash had the sheer balls to try and break the laws of nature. Her fist actually caused the ghost to explode, and she was hitting the ghost so hard that her arm was catching on fire.

With the ghost evaporated, Dash securely tied the vine to the post, and shouted out to the other side of the gorge to signal the others it was safe to cross. One by one they all slowly and carefully crossed the gap.

When Twilight was across she asked Dash a question, “Just who was that person you were talking to?”

Dash shrugged, “just some weirdo who thought they could teach me, ME, how to be awesome.”

The castle laid before them, in all its ancient glory. The only structures left visibly standing was the huge throne room and a long spiraling tower near the back. Vines and trees had already cracked through most of the walls, and were working on demolishing the rest of structure with their slow moving roots. As the girls walked inside the roof was virtually nonexistent, allowing the full moon to cast light into the ruins. Placed on the ancient podium where five ancient stone orbs.

“Those must be the Elements!” said Twilight as the group all ran towards the podium.

Twilight used her magic to make each Element float off their pedestal and glide into a circle pattern on the ground around her.

“Aren’t there supposed to be six of them?” asked Pinkie.

“The book said that when all five are together, the spark will appear, revealing the sixth element,” said Twilight.

“What in the heck is that supposed to mean?” said Jack.

“I’m not sure, but I have an idea, stand back,” said Twilight as she closed her eyes and began to gather magical energy, “I don’t know what will happen.”

The girls all gave Twilight a wide berth as magic flowed from her body and surged into the Elements. The Elements began to float through the air, spinning faster and faster as they rose higher and higher, crackling with power. Twilight opened her eyes and let out a gasp as she realized that the sudden surge of activity was not her doing, but she was helpless to stop the elements as they whirled about her, before suddenly vanishing, taking Twilight with them. Leaving the rest of the girls in an empty room, with no clue as to what was going on.

When Twilight awoke she was in another room of the castle. Black fog obscured some of the details of the room, but it was in just as much disrepair as the rest of the castle.

Black fog? Twilight’s eyes opened wide, as her hair stood on end. Looking behind her, Twilight realized that Lady Nightmare had been the one responsible for the unexpected isolation from the rest of the group. Nightmare stood tall, her long flowing hair enveloping Twilight, and her arrogant gaze piercing her. With a flick of the wrist the Elements floated through the air to surround Lady Nightmare. The sorceress let out another maniacal laugh as lightning swirled over head, pouring into the exposed castle room.

“Did you really think I would be ignorant to my plan’s single flaw? I have been watching you for quite some time Twilight Sparkle, and I know that you are not strong enough to defeat me,” Lady Nightmare gave Twilight a coy smile as she clenched her fist, causing each of the five Elements to shatter into useless fragments of rocks and dust, “these pitiful Elements are pathetic, did you really think that they could defeat me?!”

As Lady Nightmare laughed over Twilight’s defeat, she didn’t realize that the other five had found the tower that Nightmare and Twilight were in. But Twilight did, and when they came the piles of dust that had been the elements all began to glow, that’s when Twilight’s brain surged with the single craziest idea she had ever had.

“You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony so easily?” Twilight said.

As all of the girls gathered, the remnants of the Elements began to glow and swirl, individually swirling around each of the five girls.

“Wha--,” said Nightmare, unsure of herself for the first time.

“Well you’re wrong,” Twilight boasted, “because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right,” Twilight paused as her five companions were enveloped in vibrant energy, “Here!”

The energy from the Elements reacted to each girl differently, absorbing itself into a different object. For Applejack, an orange light swirled around her belt. For Rarity, a purple light shone out of her diamond necklace. For Rainbow Dash, red static surged into her blade. For Fluttershy, her butterfly hair pins glimmered with a living yellow energy. For Pinkie Pie, her beaded bracelets popped and crackled with a cyan vigor.

“You still don’t have the sixth element,” Nightmare said, though her wavering voice betrayed the uncertainty underneath, “it’s pointless without it!”

“That’s where you're wrong again,” said Twilight, “the sixth one is right here!”

A new wave of magic washed over Twilight, as if the other five girls were feeding her their energy. Twilight became a conduit for the Elements and in her, an untapped wellspring of power surged up, her entire body glowed, and her eyes became opaque orbs of blinding light. It worked in a completely unknown way as it twinkled around her charm bracelets, stretching and reshaping it into … a pair of white handguns.

“Well that’s unexpected,” Twilight said, “but it’ll do.”

Lady Nightmare smiled and laughed manically again.

“What's so funny?!” said Dash, brandishing a lightning-infused Rainbolt.

“You have made a grievous error, one that will be your last,” the grin on Lady Nightmare caused Twilight to waiver, something was wrong.

That's when Twilight remembered; Lady Nightmare was not alone. Before anyone had time to react the winged demonic horse burst through a window, sending glass fragments flying through the air as it unfurled its massive wings. The distraction was enough for Lady Nightmare to make her move as she swung an arm out at the girls, sending out a wave of energy that picked them up and threw them back several feet as if they were tiny toys.

Before any of the six girls could fully recover, the Beast-horse charged the group, running right through the center of them, causing the girls to scatter in all directions to avoid being trampled. The Beast-horse rampaged in a berserk rage, breathing fire and bucking violently, moving too fast and viciously to allow any of the girls to line up a shot or get in close enough to attack. Turning to face Twilight, fire flared from the Beast-horse's mouth, attempting to roast her alive with a wave of searing heat, with the guns in her hands, Twilight wouldn't be able to react quick enough to magically defend from the attack.

Seeing this, Rarity reacted in a way she didn't quite fully understand. She felt a strange energy in her ears, feeling compelled to touch it's source: her diamond earrings. When she did, it became a ball of energy in her hand that before her eyes crystallized and expanded, compounding itself into a massive shield made of a single flawless diamond that weightlessly floated into her hand. Acting quickly Rarity leaped in between Twilight and the incoming plume of fire which crashed harmlessly against the shield's sparkling, impenetrable surface.

Seizing the opportunity, Dash closed in on the Beast-horse, Rainbolt at the ready, but the Tartarus-spawn was too fast, and launched itself into the air with a single flap of it's wings, keeping itself out of range of those on the ground below, well almost everyone. Twilight decided to use her new found weapons and aimed for the Beast. When she pulled the trigger, a shimmering beam of energy and a sharp report erupted from the barrel. Unfortunately, Twilight had never used a handgun before and her aim was quite terrible, completely missing the flying Beast. She fired three more times, and only a single shot managed to graze the Beast's flank.

Pinkie whipped out her twelve-gauge shotgun again, and took aim to shoot the Beast down, ready to-

“Pinkie watch out!!” Fluttershy screamed as she tackled Pinkie, knocking her out of the way as a massive ball of blue fire conjured by Lady Nightmare streaked past the spot where Pinkie used to be standing.

As the Beast went to make another dive, Jack also had an inexplicable urge. Acting on instinct, she grabbed her belt buckle, unhinging her belt and pulling it off her jeans, luckily the belt was just for looks, and she didn't actually need it to hold her pants up. As she pulled the belt off it began glowing, stretching and contorting into a long gleaming chain made of an unknown white and silver metal.

“Now this Ah can work with, “ Jack said triumphantly, wrapping one end of the chain around her arm and spinning the rest of it over her head, “Get ready Ah'm gonna bring this bronco back down ta our level!”

A flying Beast was no match for Applejack's years of competitions on the rodeo circuit as she loosened the grip on the chain and let it lash through the air wrapping around the Beast's neck. With a single strong tug, Jack sent the Beast hurtling towards the ground. As it crashed it sent up a cloud of dust and gravel, leaving a tiny impact crater.

This was exactly the moment Dash was waiting for as the Beast stood up haphazardly, still completely dazed from it's sudden crash landing. As she rushed the Beast, Rainbolt began glowing white hot, sparks danced across the edge as the steel began disintegrating, leaving Rainbow Dash holding a hilt and a blade made entirely of lightning.

Dash didn't falter, something in the back of her mind let her know that this was all natural. With a single arcing sweep, Dash beheaded the Beast with a clean slice. Unlike the previous two Beast's they had fought, this one didn't fade in smoke and ash, the two pieces of it's body glowed white, before bursting in a heat-less implosion.

With her minion destroyed, Lady Nightmare stood alone as five girls surrounded her.

“You're finished Nightmare!” said Twilight, raising her magical handgun at the sorceress, “give up before this gets uglier.”

Lady Nightmare smiled at her feeble opponent, to her it was just another insect to crush, “You are out of your league little girl, you've caught the attention of those infinitely your greater.”

As Lady Nightmare began slowly walking towards Twilight her flowing gown fell away, but instead of revealing a naked body, more fog floated towards her, solidifying into a full set of pale blue armor. Lady Nightmare, clad in a magical armor, and covered by a cloak forged of a midnight sky, stood just a few meters from Twilight. Twilight looked right defiantly back into Nightmare's face, but it was entirely obscured underneath a helmet, the only part of her head that was visible was a pair of menacing, glowing eyes.

“I'm through playing games,” said Lady Nightmare.

Dash spoke before anyone else could react, “I have had enough of your high and mighty bullshit, you think just because you've got some shiny new tin foil that we're not totally gonna kick the shit out of you?”

Wielding her lightning blade, Dash charged Lady Nightmare, swinging her weapon in an overhead strike aimed right at Lady Nightmare's skull. Lady Nightmare turned to face her would be attacker and as Dash brought the blade down Lady Nightmare grabbed it with a single armored hand, stopping it a mere inches from her head.

“I am a god,” boomed Lady Nightmare, her voice was the only sound in the ruined hall other than the faint crackling of the lightning sword in her palm, “your existence is only granted by my permission, and my patience is quickly wearing thin.”

Lady Nightmare backhanded Dash, launching her several feet through the air, right into Rarity, who toppled right over. Nightmare then dropped Dash's sword on the ground, turning back to Twilight. Twilight wasn't going to wait for Lady Nightmare to make the first move as she aimed her handgun and fired a couple of magical rounds at her target. With only a few meters between them it was impossible for Twilight to miss, unfortunately Nightmare raised her hands to erect a force field, causing the bullets to ricochet harmlessly. She continued her approach towards Twilight with fire in eyes.

She is going to kill me right here if I don't think of something, Twilight thought.

“Jack!” shouted Twilight, “distract her!”

“Already on it,” Jack replied.

Nightmare turned to face the origin of the voice to see a pair of boots flying right at her face as Jack drop kicked her, knocking her over. When she got up she saw Jack in a fighting stance, her white chain wrapped around her waist.

“Come on partner,” said Jack, “let's throw down.”

Nightmare didn't even reply as she rushed Jack with a quick swipe of her clawed gauntlet. Jack reacted quickly, redirecting the blow over her left shoulder and moving underneath Nightmare's arm to deliver three quick jabs to the side of the rib cage, where there was little armor. Lady Nightmare quickly retaliated by thrusting her knee up into Jack's stomach, or at least she tried to. Without missing a beat Jack spun around to the Nightmare's other side, sharply kicking Nightmare's knee, forcing her to drop to a knee. Jack finished by bringing her elbow down hard on Nightmare's helmet, stunning her.

“You may be a god, but you're not as strong as Big Mac” said Jack as she retreated from her dazed opponent, "Pinkie Now!"

Pinkie knew exactly what to do as she grabbed the Bubble Berry bands on her wrists. The bands glowed white and reshaped themselves, forming something much larger. Pinkie smiled as she took hold of her brand new white rocket launcher.

“Suck on this you big meanie!” said Pinkie as she pulled the trigger.

A blast erupted from the large barrel propelling a huge sphere of energy, colliding directly with Lady Nightmare and creating a huge explosion. Smoke and dust flew up everywhere, but when the dust cleared Lady Nightmare stood firm, a tiny force field encompassing her body.

Nightmare turned the force field inside out and unleashed a huge wave of energy that spread out in a circle, flinging everything in it's path, including Twilight and her friends. Before Twilight had time to recover she felt a hand grip her throat, lifting her off the ground.

“It looks like the Princess's newest pet has failed,” said Lady Nightmare triumphantly, “I pity Celestia if this is the best she can throw at me.”

Even as she tried desperately to grab a breath of air, Twilight couldn't help but smile.

“And just what do you find so amusing?” Lady Nightmare asked.

“I may not be as strong as you,” Twilight said, “but at least I know how to count.”

Before Lady Nightmare could realize how many opponents she had defeated, Fluttershy shimmered into existence right behind her, holding Pinkie's shotgun. Instead of pulling the trigger, Fluttershy swung the gun like a club, delivering a swift blow right to the head, causing Lady Nightmare to double over and collapse.

Twilight picked one of her handguns back up and placed it directly against of the forehead of Lady Nightmare's senseless body.

“Good night....bitch.”

BLAM!

Twilight pulled the trigger on the magical handgun, blowing Lady Nightmare’s head off in a bloodless explosion of smoke; her decapitated body slumped to the floor as black fog drifted from the wound. There was a brilliant light as Lady Nightmare’s body began to glow, the girls stood back as the air rippled with energy.

“What’s happening Twilight?” the others asked, but their voice was drowned out by a deafening noise.

Suddenly the room exploded in a wave of heat and light, robbing the girls of sight as they shielded their eyes. When they opened them, the room was empty, but through the peaks of the castle, they could see dawn was peering over the horizon. As sunlight began to filter into the dark room, a visitor came riding in on it, an apparition forging itself out of the very sunlight. When it formed, it revealed a woman of the most stunning beauty, standing in a godlike visage. Her hair was incredibly long and flowing as if an unknown breeze were constantly blowing it, the hair itself seemed to be spun from the sun’s morning rays.

“Princess Celestia,” Twilight uttered as the rest of the girls bowed.

“Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student-it's about time!” Celestia paused to look at the other five girls, “If you were as smart as you think you are, you would have figured out that I kicked you out on purpose. You and I are the only ones who have the potential to defeat Lady Bitch-face, I sure as hell wasn't going to do it.”

“So Lady Nightmare is dead?” Jack asked.

Princess Celestia’s face became very grave, “no, Lady Nightmare has been around nearly as long as I have, and she is a stubborn ass, but you have taken great steps in defeating her, it will be a long time before she is strong enough to make a full complete physical form and return, but she will return.”

“So what do we do?” Twilight wondered.

“I want you to stay here in Ponyville, away from me, and watch the signs, you can stop her before she reaches full strength again, but She is powerful...you'll probably die. And now that I've wrapped up this little story with some exposition, I'm gettin the hell out of here," Celestia raised her arms and began floating away, "TIA' OUT MOTHERFUCKER!"

“So I have to stay in Ponyville?” Twilight said, seeming disappointed, but then she looked at the five new friends before her and smiled, “I guess I can do that.”

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Do you know what this calls for?” Pinkie said bouncing up and down, “A PARTY!!”

Next time on Magical Amicus:

Twilight's looked around the cabin of the drop ship, her five other squad mates were all sitting silently, their faces a grave mask, Dash was absently opening and shutting a lighter. It was dark except for a single red light, and the shadows obscured much of the high tech combat armor they were all wearing except for a few glowing lights coming from the armor itself

A voice came over the intercom, “three minutes to the LZ.”

Twilight tensed up as she clutched the handle of one of her white handguns sitting in its holster on her thigh.

Suddenly the cabin rocked violently, nearly launching Twilight from her seat.

The voice on the intercom spoke again, “Change in plans, the LZ is too hot, you’re dropping right now and using your flight equipment to land, this is a Wounded Pegasus Protocol, opening cabin door, you have fifteen seconds.”

A buzzer screamed in Twilight's ears as a single large door slide off to the side and blast of air flew into her face. Her eyes opened wide as she looked at her wrist-navi, its altitude display said they were still twenty thousand feet in the air.

“This is insane!” Rarity tried to shout over the roaring wind.

“How did we get in this mess again?” Jack asked.

“Remember that time Twilight botched a teleportation spell and we all ended up in a universe filled with people we knew but they all were all a bit different?” Pinkie replied.

“Um, no?”

“Me neither.”

The rest of the group just stared at Pinkie as she jumped head first out of the cabin and quickly became a shrinking dot in the sky. Twilight turned to her wrist-navi, time was almost out. Quickly the rest of the team leaped from the ship mid flight. As they tumbled through the air Twilight looked back just in time to see a missile colliding with the drop ship, completely destroying it in a fiery detonation.

There's no going back now Twilight thought to herself as she turned to the rapidly approaching surface.

Author's Note

I'm pretty new at posting stuff like this on the internet, so I don't even really know what to say here...I guess it will all just come with time. As for now, well, I'm just warning you, dis gonna get ugly

Episode 2: The Gilding (Part 1)

Magical Amicus
Episode 2: The Gilding (Part 1)

"How often do we hide who we are from the rest of the world? Dark secrets, terrible pains, twisted fetishes, that Asian kid you ran over with your car and never talked about again. All of it deep under the placid surface, but when they shift under the water, they create ripples that move to the surface, disturbing the facade. It's in those moments we show our true colors...

Usually it means you're a bitch."

It was a quiet night in Equus City. The moon was out, casting a long shadows on the rooftop Twilight was perched upon. She was sitting on a lawn chair, reading a book on thermodynamic manipulation and scribbling some notes on the pages, pausing every minute or so to listen to the noises of the city. An uncontrollable sensation gripped Twilight as her mouth opened wide in a long, dreary yawn.

These late night guard duty/study sessions started about three weeks ago, after Twilight defeated Lady Nightmare with the help of five other girls using the unique weapons they had acquired from the Elements of Harmony. Spike used to join Twilight in the night watches, but after the first week of completely uneventful boredom he had refused to leave his comfy bed. Personally, Twilight preferred the solitude of studying alone over having to deal with a baby dragon constantly underfoot. He often did more harm than good.

A commotion disrupted Twilight's train of thought. Leaning over the edge of the roof, Twilight observed a hopelessly drunk, red headed woman stumble across the sidewalk below, shamelessly gripping a bottle of wine wrapped in a paper bag. A walkie-talkie sitting at Twilight's feet chirped to life, and a familiar southern drawl resonated from the tiny black box.

“AJ here, Ah'm not seeing any Beast activity tonight,” Jack said, “thought Ah saw Berry throw up n’to a trashcan though."

Twilight picked up the hand held radio and pressed the button on the side, “She's passing by me now, she can't seem to walk straight for longer than a few feet right now.”

Twilight heard Jack chuckle, “Sounds about right... well Ah’ve got chores in the morning so Ah'm gonna head home now,” Jack replied, “g'night Twi.”

“Okay Jack, I'll see you tomorrow,” Twilight responded.

There was a pause for a moment as Twilight could hear Jack let out a sigh on the other end of the line.

“About that,” Jack started, “Ah know you said we gotta help out n'all with this whole Beast situation, but its been three weeks since we kicked Lady Nightmare t’the curb and we haven't seen the least bit a trouble. Its awfully close t’harvest season and with my responsibilities at the farm I can't keep spending my nights out n'about,” Jack paused for a moment as she led into her intended conversational target, “Why don't you go see if Dash is willing to help? Ah haven't seen heads or tails of her since we first got together, why don't you pay her a visit at her garage?”

Jack crossed her fingers and awaited Twilight's response, hoping she would take the bait.

Twilight was silent for a moment as she held the button down on the radio, “...I see...That's fine, don't worry about it, I'll talk to Dash tomorrow.”

Jack let out a silent sigh of relief, “thanks fer understanding Twi.”

It is getting, late Twilight thought to herself as she stifled a yawn, I should probably start heading back to the library soon, She eyed the book resting in her chair, still open to her current page, Well I'll stay out for a while longer.

Twilight continued her studies atop the roof but soon realized her folly as her heavy eyelids seemed to sap her focus. At first her eyes would shut for a second, only for Twilight to snap back to attention, but then they began to stay shut for longer and longer intervals. Slowly her control over consciousness slipped as sleep grabbed hold of Twilight. The open book rested in her lap and her head slumped over.

Meanwhile Berry Punch staggered through the street. Taking another swig from the bottle in her hand trying to wash the faint acidic taste of vomit from her mouth. She looked around: nothing familiar. Somehow through this drunken haze Berry had to figure a way to get home before she did something regrettable...well more regrettable.

I promised I wouldn't overdo it like this anymore, Berry thought to herself, I thought tonight could have been normal, but then Caramel had to offer me a drink, he had to tell me to lighten up, he had to smile that sweet sappy smile of his and pretend I don't have a problem, pretend I could fit in for once and not make a fool of myself.

Berry threw her head back and took a long drink from the bottle, letting the wine tickle her throat on its way down. She hoped another drink would make her feel better, it didn't.

Losing her fragile balance, Berry tripped and fell face first into the pavement. Blood started to trickle from her nose, but with the alcohol running through her body Berry barely felt a thing. When she tried to get up her brain thrashed inside her skull, paralyzing her as she curled up into a ball and began sobbing uncontrollably, the thin streams of tears running down her face mixing with the gobs of blood flowing from her nose.

The minutes passed as Berry lay there on the unsympathetic pavement, completely unaware of her surroundings. Then she felt a warming hand on her shoulder. Berry let the hand help her rise to her feet, a handkerchief appeared in its palm to wipe the blood and tears away.

Berry looked up to the owner of the phantom hand to find it belonged to a girl that couldn't have been any older that herself. The girl had blonde hair and was wearing a heavy, thigh-length trench coat and underneath that a gray, wool sweater. It may have been the booze but it looked like the girl was looking at Berry and the street sign to her left at the same time. But Berry didn't care about her Samaritan’s peculiar vision, because the smile the girl gave Berry was the most heartfelt, honest, selfless smile she ever saw. It made Berry want to just bury her head in this girl's shoulder and let all her problems go.

“Are you okay?” the girl asked.

Berry started to regain some of her composure, wiping the leftover blood and tears off her face with the side of her arm, “umm...no, nod really, bud tanks for askig.”

“I can walk with you if you want, make sure you get home,” the girl offered.

“You don haftu boder yurself babysidin a sad duck,” Berry said under a thick slur, she didn't want this girl to have to see her try and stumble home, or her pigsty of an apartment for that matter.

“Nonsense, company is company- besides,” the girl paused for a moment, looking over her shoulder, something had the girl on edge, but Berry was too busy focusing on standing to notice, “it can get dangerous at night.”

The girl took her coat off and wrapped it around Berry, who only had a light shirt on at this point. Berry was too tired to try and argue so she let the girl lead her home. Every so often Berry would catch the girl looking over her shoulder and glancing at rooftops, but they were completely alone on the dimly lit street.

Then they stopped moving. Berry looked at her companion for an explanation but the girl's eyes were fixed ahead, wide with terror.

“Whs gon on?” Berry asked...sort of.

Berry followed the girl's eyes to see a large black mass sitting in the darkness just outside of the light of a street lamp twenty yards ahead of them. It's eyes glowed like candles and it had a pair of large feathery wings on its back. It walked on four legs, its two forearms ending in sharp talons, and a sharp pointed beak was set in a wicked grin as it began to approach the girls slowly and methodically. Swirls of hazy smoke surrounded the dark figure.

The girl made the first move when she took Berry by the shoulders and yelled right into her face, “RUN!”

Berry did as she was told and turned to sprint away. She took approximately four strides before slipping and colliding with a trashcan. Seeing there was no way Berry could escape on her own, the girl knew she had to distract the monster. Picking up some nearby garbage, the girl started flinging it at the monster, hoping to catch its attention.

Luckily an empty can of soda hit the monster right across the beak, angering it, unluckily an empty can of soda hit the monster right across the beak, angering it. The girl ran across the street and threw some more trash, drawing it away from the collapsed Berry Punch.

“Hey over here! Come and get it!” she shouted, “Some nice and tasty person-meat right over here!”

The Beast wasted no time in choosing its prey, deciding to gallop after the noisy, trash flinging girl over the comatose red head. The girl ran down the street, drawing the Beast farther and farther away from the drunken Berry.

As fast as she could the girl dashed down the dark, empty street, not far behind her she could hear the Beast gaining ground. The road was completely devoid of life, not even a stray animal or wayward bird dared make a move and present itself a potential target to something unnatural that stalked the night. That something was nearly upon the girl when she decided to take a desperate chance and make a quick turn at the upcoming alley, hoping the big, winged beast would be unable to corner as fast as a small human.

Giving no warning to her pursuer, the girl suddenly switched directions and bolted down a darkened alley. She turned over trash cans and knocked over stacks of boxes and garbage, trying to slow down the Beast in any way possible, but as the creature turned the corner it used its momentum to leap on the far wall and vault over the obstacles closing the gap between Beast and it's prey.

Unfortunately the girl's desperate decision had led her to a dead-end, she was trapped. Seeing this the Beast slowed down, approaching at a crawl as it walked with the coiled tension of a feline hunter preparing to pounce on its quarry.

With no way to escape the girl was left with but a single option. She took a big breath and let out an earsplitting scream, as loud as she possibly could, her last act of bravery and defiance.

The Beast almost seemed to laugh, it enjoyed the sight of its prey squirming. Raising up talons that glistened like razor sharp daggers, it was ready to bring the final blow that would end this hunt, and it's prey's life.

“HEY! YOU GED AWAY FERM HER YOU DAMN MOSDER!”

The Beast stopped. It's prey wasn't going anywhere so it decided to indulge this little distraction. Turning around to face the origin of the partially incoherent voice, it found Berry Punch clutching a bottle of wine like a cudgel and looking as intimidating as a short drunken red head who could barely stand could.

In an effort to try and save the girl, Berry Punch decided that her best course of action was to throw her bottle of wine at the Beast...drunk logic, go figure. She forgot one minor detail, drunk people have horrible spacial reasoning, something that comes in handy when throwing objects at anything smaller than a barn. Its not clear whether it was a moment of pure focus and clarity attained through years of chronic binge drinking, or just plain dumb luck, but as Berry swung her arm and let the bottle fly it managed to strike the Beast right in the face, shattering and drenching it's face in deep red colored wine.

The Beast growled as wine dripped off the edge of it's beak, it's face in a contorted expression of rage.

Realizing the full extent of her actions caused Berry to sober up real quick as she began backing away slowly.

“Uh-oh.”

A scream piercing through the night startled Twilight's slumber like a slap across the face. The hair on the back of her neck and arms stood completely on end. Something was very wrong, and since Applejack decided to quit early, it was Twilight's job to jump right into it- alone. She has spent her life alone, and now that she had knew what it was like to have people she could count on, going in without them was...distressing.

The scream came from the West and it sounded fairly close. Knowing that it would take too much time to get down to street level Twilight decided that her best bet would be to go by rooftop. Using her telekinesis to aid her jumps as she leaped from building to building.

When Twilight landed on top of the Quills and Sofas store she started to hear a commotion down below. Twilight jumped up on the ledge and leaned over, seeing two women trapped in an alley about to be assaulted by the unmistakable profile of a Beast.

Without another moments thought, Twilight pulled one of her bracelets off her wrist and, performing an action she had practiced a hundred times since learning it, gripped it tightly and willed it to change. It glowed and mutated, contorting its shape into a glistening white handgun.

Twilight aimed carefully and fired a warning shot towards the Beast, just a few feet across it's beak. The Beast stopped immediately and looked up to the at the roof in surprise.

Twilight leaped down off the roof, lowering her speed with telekinesis just enough that the fall wouldn't cause damage. The whole time she kept the gun trained on the Beast, she had practiced a lot with her weapon, but Twilight didn't have that much experience in a fight and she wanted to make sure she was close enough to ensure a clean kill shot.

“Don't make another mo-”

Before Twilight could finish her warning the Beast let out a shriek, sounding like the deafening roar of a lion and the shrill caw of an eagle at the same time. The unnatural noise paralyzed Twilight, causing her to almost be unable to dodge the trashcan the Beast had launched towards her head, but she was just a little too slow and the tip of the can grazed Twilight's skull, stunning her.

When Twilight regained her senses, the Beast had already took flight, fleeing under the cover of the cloudy night sky. Frustrated, Twilight pointlessly fired her gun at the quickly shrinking target, little more than a dot against the pale moon.

Twilight let out a sigh of exasperation and feebly reverted her gun back to a bracelet, turning to the two girls.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

The blonde girl nodded, “Yes, thank you so much. We would have died had you not scared that thing off.”

Heaving a barely conscious Berry Punch to her feet, the girl lead her charge out of the alley and, presumably, home. But Twilight wasn't concerned with them, as she looked solemnly up towards the sky where the Beast had escaped. She vowed that she would not fail in her appointed task of hunting theses Beasts down, and she wouldn't be foolish enough to let one get the drop on her again.

This one got pretty spooked when I showed up, it probably won't be hunting again anytime soon, it should be safe to go home and get some sleep, besides, Twilight thought to herself, Spike wouldn't be able to forgive me if I wasn't awake to feed him in the morning.

Stifling another yawn, Twilight walked out of the alley and made her way to the library and her soft bed.

Twilight's alarm clock was the morning rays peeking through the window. Twilight covered her eyes with her pillow in a futile gesture, but it was already too late, she was awake.

Climbing out of bed she performed her usual morning routine, starting with a shower. Twilight undressed and carefully folded her night robe, placing it neatly in its place. She turned the dial for the shower exactly one hundred and thirty degrees counter clockwise. Without even waiting for the water to heat up, Twilight stepped into the tub.

Letting the cool water wash over her shoulders, Twilight mentally walked through her fight from the night prior, taking note of every detail of the Beast she could remember: its size, features, behavior, whatever she could glean from the limited encounter.

It was a predator, isolating its prey and stalking it until the right moment presented itself, which appeared to be during the night. The fact it had managed to hunt so close to Twilight without her noticing told her that finding it would be almost impossible, a trap would have to be set to draw the Beast out in the open.

As the cool water turned hot, Twilight let the warming sensation wash over her. Carefully and methodically Twilight scrubbed every inch of her body, ensuring she was properly cleaned. When her shower was complete, Twilight made sure to brush her teeth and, with a little magic, brushed her hair as well, exactly forty strokes.

Finishing her cleaning ritual Twilight selected her outfit from a drawer of neatly organized and folded clothes, her usual outfit, a skirt with a dress shirt and a simple lavender tie. Apparel proper for a student of the Arcane Arts, Twilight judged, as se made her final inspection before the mirror.

Climbing down the stairs of the library, Twilight made way for its small little kitchen. Spike stood next to his bowl, his arms folded and impatiently tapping the ground with his foot. Grabbing a large bag from one of the cupboards Twilight used a cup to scoop out a big portion of small sparkling stones and poured them into Spike's bowl.

“There, industrial diamonds, your favorite.” said Twilight.

Spike nodded in quiet approval and stuck his face in the pile of gems. While Spike happily munched away at his breakfast, Twilight opted to grab a banana. A bygone of living with Celestia, is developing quite the taste for them. Sometimes it seemed to be the only thing to eat in the entire castle, Twilight could never figure out if it was a cruel joke or one of the Princess's weird tastes.

Twilight stopped in the doorway on her way out, “Spike, watch the library while I'm gone.”

Spike looked up from his bowl of diamonds to give a stalwart salute before jumping right back into his meal.

A short walk across town led Twilight to the dwelling of Rainbow Dash, a small one story auto shop. The only entrance was a large garage door, currently half open. The sound of heavy power tools and the occasional shower of sparks drifted from the open space.

Twilight bent underneath the door and was immediately assaulted by the harsh heat and metallic dust of Rainbow Dash's current project as she went to work on it with a welder. Most of what Dash was working on was covered by a tarp, but it looked like it could be some sort of car, a really big one- sort of....or maybe a tank.

“Dash?”

...Dash didn't respond or even notice Twilight had even entered, she seemed wholly focused on her work.

“Dash,” Twilight repeated.

So this is what it feels like, Twilight thought to herself, she knew better that to try and break Dash out of this kind of trance.

While Dash worked, Twilight took the opportunity to look around Rainbow Dash’s garage. there was a worktable in the back, resting on it was Dash’s signature katana, lovingly polished and cared for, a stark contrast with rest of the tools lying around it in various states of disrepair. The custom cyan motorcycle that Twilight had seen Dash ride was resting against the other wall. A hammock hung near the back corner to an old Wonderbolt flier and some yellowed newspaper clippings hung up against the wall, the only decoration on the otherwise bare walls. A pull up bar hanging from the rafters and some heavy iron barbells were nearby. Some empty beer cans and old pizza boxes were strewn about the floor and every other conceivable empty spaces, something that caused Twilight to cringe.

Then Dash suddenly get up from working. Twilight watched her stand up, still completely unaware of her guest, walk over towards a mini-fridge and grabbed a fresh can of beer. It was on the return trip to her project that Dash realized she was not alone. Pausing for a moment she looked over at Twilight.

“Woah- how long have you been there?” Dash asked.

“If you hadn’t decided to get a drink, a lot longer,” Twilight replied.

"Oh, heh, heh, sorry then. What brings you to the Fortress of Dash-itude?" Dash asked, motioning wide towards her home.

"I need your help, there has been an atta-"

"Can't do right now, I'm busy," said Dash as she put her welding goggles back on and firing up her welder again.

Twilight was surprised for a second, “Don’t you want to hear me out? There is a Beast, I surmised you would be interested in a chance for a fi-”

“I said I’m busy,” Dash said, cutting off Twilight again.

Twilight was not satisfied with the unusual behavior, “what are you even working on?”

“Not until I’m done,” Dash said curtly as she went back to work, “and besides, you have four other people that can help you in whatever it is you need, why can’t any of them help you? Why hasn’t Fluttershy helped, she doesn’t do anything besides hang out with animals. And what about Rarity? Isn’t she supposed to be the generous one?”

Twilight was beginning to lose some self control at Rainbow Dash’s uncalled for behavior, “it has been three weeks since we were given the Elements of Harmony and everyone, even Fluttershy and Rarity, has pitched in to help, ad now when an actual Beast shows up you don’t even lift a finger?! You’re the one that’s supposed to have our back!”

Dash stood tall against Twilight’s outburst, but only replied meekly as she averted Twilight's gaze, “look its just something I have to finish.”

Twilight caught herself before she said anything foolish and decided to take the much more tasteful approach of storming out of the garage.

Dash ignored Twilight’s exit and continued working on her project, carefully fusing steel with steel, but as she sat there alone in the garage her focus remained divided

Its not like I want to leave Twilight hangin, Dash tought to herself, but I need to do this, I can’t quit till I’m done with it. When I’m finished they’ll understand, I haven’t left them, I’m still helping in my own way.

Dash hadn’t realized that while she was busy rationalizing to herself, she had stopped working altogether and was just standing in the empty garage, the welder remained idly in her hand.

A noise resonated through the garage, a sharp clattering of misplaced objects. Dash snapped to attention, gripping the welder tightly. Another sound, a metallic ping and Dash tensed.

She was not alone.

Author's Note

Okay user Cwiis has brought an issue that I have been mulling over to back into the forefront of my brain: the language.
Panty & Stocking is one of the most perverse, foul mouthed, verbally diarrhetic shows ever created, and I am doing my best to emulate the show, but I was apprehensive about going all in on the language because I was concerned about having to put the 'Mature' tag on it. Should I worry about that or should I just make it 'mature' and start swearing like a sailor?

Intermission: The Doctor Who Loved Me

A lone blonde woman walked down the deserted street. Every so often she looked over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't being followed. Satisfied that no one was around, she turned the corner into an alley.

The alley was deserted, but not empty. A tall, blue phone box… thing stood inconspicuously in the back. It fit in with all the other random junk that seemed to be piling up around it, with its aged wood panels and fading colors. A white sign had the words “Police Call Box” painted on it in old weathered letters.

The blonde woman pulled out a necklace made of old twine and a small key from underneath her sweater. Putting it into a rusted lock, she turned it. The door gave way with a click and the girl stepped into the box, disappearing into the dark doorframe. What was on the inside did not match the outside as she stepped into a completely different world, the interior of a massive spaceship's bridge.

"You moved the TARDIS, didn't you!"

The blonde woman stomped across the circular room of the TARDIS control room. In the center of the room sat a cylindrical panel with a myriad of buttons and switches and meters and levers. Underneath the controls a wirey looking man with crazy hair stood haunched underneath.

"I'm sorry, Derpy, I needed to make an emergency shift to calibrate the system." He didn't even turn to look at the woman. He was busy holding a mug underneath the panel, collecting drops of a black substance that was oozing out of the controls.

Derpy stood over the crazy looking man, arms folded. "You were gone for over a week, and I was stuck here! I was stuck helping a binging alcoholic detox, which is not pretty by the way. And you nearly got me killed, I was being cha— Doctor, what on Equestria are you doing?"

"Dunno, trying to figure out what this stuff coming out of the TARDIS controls is. I think I’ve ruled out bio-engineered, super virus, and intelligent hitchhiking protozoa, unless it’s very intelligent… and toying with me. Hmm..."

When the mug was filled with the black liquid, the Doctor raised it up, sniffing it suspiciously then took one big gulp of the thick, oozing sludge. Derpy almost gagged as she watched him drink it.

There was a pause as the Doctor tried to figure out exactly what it was that he just drank.

"Well, I'll be!" he exclaimed. "It's licorice! Liquified black licorice! I wonder how that got there..."

Derpy continued to smile smugly as the Doctor finished his drink of liquid black licorice.

"You'll never guess who I met today."

"Oh, was it Star-Swirled? He's still time traveling, right?"

Derpy shook her head. "No, not him. Twilight Sparkle."

The Doctor loudly spit out his drink.

"What? The Twilight Sparkle? Derpy, what did I tell you about meeting important historical figures?"

Derpy let out a long sigh. "Not without you and definitely not without a camera..."

The Doctor's face went very grave as he grabbed Derpy's shoulders in a vice-like grip, shaking her for effect. "Listen to me very carefully Derpy, you can not let Twilight Sparkle see you again."

Derpy swore she had never seen the Doctor this serious before. "Why?"

"Time can be rewritten, and Twilight is a very important person. She has to experience her life in an exact way for history to occur as it should. It's not a very good idea to let her see you. She's smart, she'll suspect something's off. we can’t influence her actions or the outcome would change the fate of the world. It would be an apocalypse every day outside: fire would bubble up from below, plagues would spread over the land, chocalate milk would rain from the sky!"

Derpy gave a nod of understanding and like that the Doctor's expression lightened up.

"Now who wants to go see some windigos?!"

Derpy's hand shot straight up.

[Because you've all been so patient with me, I thought I'd share the first part of the second half, it's just a snippet, but I feel you guys deserve it.]

Time seemed to move in slow motion as Dash walked quietly through the garage. Each tiny footstep a bomb exploding in the silence. Dash clutched the welding rod tightly, her knuckles burning white.

Carefully she stepped over the clutter on the ground, avoiding them as if they were landmines. Another sound, this one closer. A wrench drops off the rack. A shadow jumps out of sight, a mirage across the corner of her eye. Every muscle in Dash's body is tensed for a fight.

Didn't Twilight say there was a Beast or something on the loose? Dash thought as her mind and her eyes raced around the room.

Quickly she spotted Rainbolt resting atop the workbench. It was only ten feet away, but as another noise rang through the garage, nearly right on top of her, she quelled any ideas of being able to reach it in time. It might as well have been a mile away for all the good it was going to do.

Something moved on the other side of Dash's project, its tarp rustling faintly. Slowly she edged around the side, ready to pounce.

Then Dash felt a disturbance as a tuft of air moved against the back of her neck. Something was behind her. Blindly she swung, aiming at the thing's head, but as Dash's welding rod arced through the air, its target moved with a supernatural speed, as if it already knew where the strike was going to land. And as the welding rod speed through the air, it only managed to slice a few pink strands of hair.

It was a good thing too, Dash would hate to have to explain to the others how she almost killed Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie! What the hell do you think you're doing here?!" Asked Dash.

"My toes were wiggly!" Pinkie said.

Author's Note

Sooooo I've been working on the second half of Episode 2, and realized this has been sitting in my completed box for a pretty long time, just as a little wrap up to a side plot that I wanted to do.
All thanks go to my fabulous (and I do mean flamboyantly) editor cwiis, he's been a blast to work with. If you guys haven't seen my blog that is going to basically give the plot to everything I'm writing for the next eternity I encourage you to go see it over here. That should be sufficiently enticing to get your guy's attention, and provide proof I came up with those ideas in the case of the show actually does some of them (Which happens to me more times than you think. I wrote a story that was basically the exact same plot as Mass Effect 2...seven years before the first one)

Episode 2: The Gilding (Part 2)

Time seemed to move in slow motion as Dash walked quietly through the garage, each tiny footstep a bomb exploding in the silence. Dash clutched the welding rod tightly, her knuckles burning white.

Carefully, she stepped over the clutter on the ground, avoiding it as if they were landmines. Another sound, this one closer. A wrench dropped off the rack, a shadow jumped out of sight, a mirage across the corner of her eye. Every muscle in Dash's body was tensed for a fight.

Didn't Twilight say there was a Beast or something on the loose? Dash thought as her mind and eyes raced around the room.

Another noise rang through the garage, almost right on top of her.

Quickly, she spotted Rainbolt resting atop the workbench, only ten feet away. She quelled any ideas of being able to reach it in time. It might as well have been a mile away for all the good it was going to do.

Something moved on the other side of Dash's project, its tarp rustling faintly. Slowly she edged around the side, ready to pounce.

Then she felt a disturbance as a tuft of air moved against the back of her neck. Something was behind her. She swung blindly, aiming in the general direction of the thing's head. However, as Dash's welding rod arced through the air, its target moved with a supernatural speed, as if it already knew where the strike was going to land. By the time Dash returned the rod to her side, it had only managed to slice a few pink strands of hair.

It was a good thing, too. Dash would hate to have to explain to the others how she almost killed Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie! What the hell do you think you're doing here?!"

"My toes were wiggly!" Pinkie was bright and bubbly as usual, making no indication of knowing how close she was to being knocked unconscious.

Dash was at a loss. "And what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, the last time my toes were wiggly was when my sisters had a really huge fight because Inkie said Blinkie took her doll-"

"Pinkie-"

"- which I thought was weird because we all shared the same room, so I thought 'Where would she hide it anyway?' and I was 95.6% sure that I saw Inkie leave it on a rock-"

"Pinkie-"

"-but when I said something to her she didn't listen and then they didn't talk for a whole month and I had to talk to a bucket of turnips and it was really boring and sad because turnips don't always talk back."

“Pinkie!" shouted Dash.

"Yes, Rainbow Dash?"

"Why are you here, right now, bothering me?"

"You and Twilight had a big fight, and I didn't want you two to not talk to each other for a month like my sisters did. It would be so sad and boring – wait, that's not true, Lyra is coming back from college this Wednesday, and the Cakes are testing a new razzmatazz berry icing for their cupcakes, and Rumble has his Bar Mitzvah next week-"

Dash was surprised. "How did you know about that?"

"Rumble's Bar Mitzvah? I got an invitation in the mail, there was a cute little puppy wearing a yamaka and everything. Well, that and it's being held in Sugarcube Corner and I kinda live there..."

Dash pressed her fingers against her temples, desperately trying to hold her growing migraine at bay. “No, that Twilight was pissed.”

Pinkie lifted up her leg and pulled her shoe and foot off, wiggling her toes in the air. “See, I figured it out! Each of my five toes corresponds to a different friend; Twilight is the big toe, you're the one after that, Applejack is the one after that-”

“Let me guess, you're the pinkie toe?” Dash asked.

“No, Fluttershy’s the pinkie, I’m the ankle. So anyway, one foot corresponds with one friend that’s in the fight, the other one goes to the other friend. My left big toe and my right index toe were wiggly so I knew that meant that you and Twilight had a fight.”

“Ugh, forget it.” Dash let out a tired sigh.

“Oooh! Whatcha doin’?” Pinkie asked as she began circling the large, mysterious object in the center of the garage, concealed under its tarp.

“I’m building something,” Dash answered curtly.

Pinkie's interest was piqued. "What is it? What is it?" She stopped and turned back to face Dash. "Wait don't tell me! Is it a smoothie maker? A duplicator? A time machine? A transmogrifier?"

"No," Dash said, thinking more of how she could get Pinkie to leave.

"Well, what is it?" Pinkie asked as she started to lift the tarp up.

Dash jumped atop the tarp to cover it from Pinkie. "It's not done!" she balked.

Without skipping a beat, Pinkie jumped to the workbench. "Ooooooh, is this your sword?" she asked, picking up Rainbolt.

"Yes, put that down!" Dash shouted, grabbing Rainbolt as Pinkie moved onto something else.

"I wonder how many cupcakes you can cook with this?" Pinkie wondered as she grabbed a nearby blowtorch and started to prime it.

"That isn't a toy!" Dash cried out, struggling to keep up with Pinkie as she ran rampant through the garage like a pink tornado

"You know I don't think I've ever been here before. How come we never hang out or anything? I know almost everyone in town, even crazy old man MaGoot. But you? You always seem to be gone when I'm around. Why is that?" Pinkie looked up at the Wonderbolts poster on the wall.

"Because I wasn't sure if you were a crack addict or not..." Dash muttered to herself, and she watched Pinkie pull a pixie stick out of her hair, cock her head back, eat the whole thing in two seconds and give a little shudder as the sugar passed down her throat... She still wasn't sure.

"What was that?" Pinkie asked, unaware.

"Nothing."

Pinkie pulled something else out from her frizzy pink hair. "Gum?" she offered.

"No," Dash said as she pulled her motorcycle off it's resting spot against the wall, walking it over to the entrance of the garage.

"Wait, where are you going?" Pinkie asked, shufflingly ever so closely to Dash as she began revving the bike.

"To get some air. Some nice, clean, non-Pinkie occupied air," Dash said.

Before Pinkie could say anything, Dash put on her helmet and pulled the throttle, rocketing out of the garage as the tires screamed against the pavement. Speeding through the dense morning traffic, Dash darted in and out of lanes.

Any other person would never have tried something so recklessly stupid, but it was at those high speeds, when the rest of the world was reduced to a blur, that Rainbow Dash could truly be at peace. Leaving behind all the worries, all the troubles, all the fears, Dash was one with the machine and the road underneath it.

A red light rapidly approached and Dash halted, frantically tapping her legs and bobbing her head, waiting for it to change.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" cried a voice that shouldn't even be there.

Oh no, Dash's eyes grew wide, don't look don't look don't look, if you don't look then it's not real, there is no way she could be here, it's not possible, it can't be-

"Dash! Hey Dash! Over Here! I have to-"

Before the person Dash wasn't looking at could finish speaking, the light turned green and she wasted no time in taking off full speed, putting as much distance as possible between herself and her would-be stalker.

The next light turned red. The distance was rapidly closing. Only a second to decide if she was gonna run this or not. Closer, run the light or not? Almost there, what to do?

It wasn't worth it, there was no way that she could have caught up. Dash let off the throttle and slowed up. Then something caught Dash's attention, something pink. Dash heard a chiming noise and looked to the road on the right to see Pinkie on a bicycle, joyfully ringing the bell on the handlebars.

Pinkie waved at Dash, "Hi Dashie! Check out this neat bike, it even has a little bell! And look, pink!"

Okay, that's it, no more messing around.

Dash let the motorcycle go full throttle and sped away, leaving a psychotically persistent Pinkie in her wake. Looking behind her, Dash couldn't see anything besides burnt rubber and other, less awesome people being left in her dust.

"So where are we going anyway?"

...Wha?

Dash slowly turned her head to see Pinkie Pie sitting in a sidecar attached to her motorcycle, wearing goggles and a helmet. She squeezed the brake and the bike screeched to a halt.

"That's not possible, I don't even have a sidecar!" Dash shouted. "How are you doing this?"

"Doing what, silly billy?"

"Never mind, I guess you're coming with me then, whether I want you to or not," Dash replied. "Just try not to talk to anyone… or do anything weird."

Pinkie looked hurt. "Whaaa? Me, weird? I'm not weird!"

"There's a Twinkie in your hair."

"Ooh! Thanks for reminding me, I was saving that for later!" Pinkie plunked the Twinkie out of her tangled pink lochs and gleefully ate it, much to Dash's chagrin.

A turn into a darkened street led Dash and Pinkie into the dingiest, dirtiest, hole-in-the-wall to barely pass for a bar. The one or two patrons loitering outside gave nothing but a passing glance as Dash parked her motorcycle and newly-attained sidecar. They did, however, watch her companion, someone who definitely did not fit into a place like this.

Dash creaked the wooden door open, revealing an inside that looked just as dejected and downtrodden as the outside. As they passed the darkly lit tables and made their way to the bar it almost seemed like the "dive" look was on purpose, but it wasn't forced or artificial at all, the place was just naturally crappy. All Pinkie could think about was that Rarity would probably have a brain aneurysm if she even set foot in the place, and how clouds look like cotton candy, and if Fluttershy said that was okay to go in her shed or not...

Taking a seat on one of the bar stools Dash took a look around the bar. All the usual patrons were there and there were a couple of shadowy figures that remained hidden in the corners of the room. Dash leaned forward and unwound, relaxing as she breathed in the air laced with the pungent smell of tobacco and alcohol, and listened to the murmur of conversations both loud and quiet. This was her kind of peaceful, like the calm before the storm, a lit powder keg ready to blow at a moments notice. If she wanted to fight, there were many patrons who would oblige - if she wanted a quick fuck, even more so - and there was no better place for a stiff drink, something she needed now more than anything.

Luckily, the bartender brought Dash her usual drink as she sat down. She gripped the drink in her hand, taking a swig.

Pinkie suddenly began desperately bouncing in place while crossing her legs. "Where is the little ladies room?" she asked the bartender.

He pointed to a hallway on the left and with a pink blur she darted down it. After she was gone, the bartender Rainbow Dash gave an inquisitive look.

Dash gave out an exasperated sigh. "Don't ask."

The bartender shrugged his shoulders and turned to some of his other patrons, leaving Dash alone with her drink at last.

She absentmindedly sipped it for awhile, letting herself enjoy every second of Pinkie not talking her into a coma. At that thought, Dash shifted uneasily in her chair.

It's not that I don't like Pinkie, Dash thought to herself, she was actually pretty badass when we were fighting that Nightmare bitch. Its just, she is so… weird…

"Hey you! The cunt with fucking fag hair."

Dash paused for a moment, taking the time to have one last swig from her drink.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

Slowly Dash turned around and looked over the person standing before her. It was some biker nobody with enough leather to make a gimp suit and a half. He was big; more flab than muscle, but he definitely had the weight and height advantage. He didn't really look that intimidating, but he sure looked pissed. Even though he was twelve feet away, Dash could smell the alcohol on his breath, could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. This would not be simple.

She cursed herself for not being smart enough to take Rainbolt with her. Had she brought it, this little shitstain probably wouldn't have been brave enough to try something. She was just going to have to fight hand-to-hand; luckily, Jack was the only person that had ever been able to take her in a fist fight… bitch.

“Yeah, I heard the first time, shit pickle," Dash muttered.

"You’re that hero wannabe that kicked the shit out of my brother and got him arrested!"

took a harder look at his face and saw the resemblance. "I take it your brother was that shitstain who kept breaking into homes and stealing panties? Good, creepy fucker deserves to get shawshanked."

The biker's face turned beet-red. "Fuck you!"

Reaching into his jacket, the biker pulled out the handle of a switchblade, and with a click the blade sprung out from the hilt.

Dash smiled. "Now you're making it interesting."

As soon as the biker pulled his knife, a few of his companions rose from their seats to join him, a thug flanking him on each side.

Dash rose slowly to her feet, assuming a battle stance. "Now you're making it fun."

"Hey, you numbskulls better take this outside," the bartender interrupted. "If you break anything, it's coming out of your asses."

"Relax," Dash said, turning to the man behind the bar, "I've got it under control."

While Dash was talking to the bartender, the biker rushed her. Attempting to stab her in the back of the neck, the biker brought down the blade down hard. Too hard to stop. With a quick turn, Dash moved away from the path of the blade causing it to drive into the bar, embedding itself deep.

As the biker struggled to pull the knife out of the bar, Dash brought the heel of her boot down hard on his foot. He threw his head back, bellowing in a pain driven fury. Grabbing the back of his head, Dash slammed it into the bar.

As he stumbled backward, dazed, blood trickled down his misshapen nose.

“You fugging bitch!” roared the biker, clutching his nose. “You broge my fugging nose!”

“Way to point out the obvious,” Dash replied. “You try to stab me and I’m the bad guy?”

Dash turned toward the biker’s compatriots. “You shitheads just gonna stand there with your thumbs up your asses?”

“What are you doing? GET HER!” ordered the biker.

The two men spurned into action. The one on the left used his lumbering size to lunge after Rainbow Dash. He was massive, but slow, making it easy for Dash to move out of the way. The man-ape crashed into the bar, falling head first.

Before he had a chance to get back up, his partner grabbed a bottle from a nearby table and shattered it, turning it into a makeshift shiv. He rushed her, extending his arm out at her. Dash ducked down and pushed his arm up, causing his attack to miss overhead. She then grabbed his wrist and used her other hand to clamp down hard on his crotch. Dash planted her feet hard and performed a throwing move, launching him through the air. He crashed on the other side of the bar, glass flying everywhere.

As the first guy tried to regain his senses Dash stepped on his back, holding him on the ground. She grabbed his left arm and bent it behind his back. With a sudden twist and a grim sounding pop, he cried out in agony as his shoulder was dislocated. She dropped his useless arm so that it flopped limply on the ground and let him desperately crawl away to lick his wounds.

The biker now stood terrified as Dash turned back to him. He tried backing up, but Dash began slowly approaching him, cracking her knuckles as she walked.

“Y-you stay the fug away from me!” he stammered.

Dash continued approaching until she was only a foot away from his face. He was paralyzed with fear to the point that he nearly shit his pants right there and then. She glared intensely into his eyes, not blinking for a moment. She glared so hard at him that it left a permanent image burned on his retina. From now until the end of time whenever he closed his eyes, he would see Rainbow Dash moments before she kicked his ass.

“Then you and your dicknob friends better be gone ten seconds ago,” Dash growled.

The three men scrambled out of the building as fast as they could, leaning on each other for support as they hobbled away. Dash turned back to the bar, littered with fragments of glass and the embedded knife still in the wood.

She was just about to order a drink when a sudden chill descended upon the back of her neck, causing her gut to turn itself on end. There was a presence behind her and it felt very… wrong. Every single muscle in Dash's body froze, for a few seconds she was completely motionless.

Then she felt the tip of a knife being held at her back.

A female voice hissed behind her, "You've gotten sloppy, you forgot to check the corners for hidden targets… Dweeb."

Dash's eyes grew wide. She knew only one person in the world who would insult her like that.

A smile grew on Dash's lips. "And you forgot that I wasn't alone."

And with the fury and grace of a chimpanzee spaced out on meth, Pinkie burst behind her friend's attacker wielding a bar stool, swinging it against the attacker's back. It shattered into an explosion of wooden fragments that looked like it could give you splinters just from looking at it. To her opponent's credit, she staggered, but withstood the blow without collapsing. Before the unknown assailant could react, Pinkie was ready and armed with another chair. Just as she was about to start round two, Dash stopped her.

"Wait!" Dash said, grabbing Pinkie’s arm. "Pinkie, it's alright, this is Gilda. She's a friend from back when I… from back when."

Pinkie examined ‘Gilda’ with a cautious eye as she tried to compose herself after being assaulted with upholstery. She dressed similar to Dash: torn up jeans, leather jacket and combat boots. She had snow white hair tipped with violet ends that covered half of her face. The one visible eye had a tattoo crested around it, giving her a fearsome visage.

"Oh! Okie dokie lokie," said Pinkie, making an immediate face turn. "Hi Gilda, I'm Pinkie Pie! It's super duper awesome to meet you! Sorry I tried to jack you up with a chair."

"Yeah, sure," Gilda responded in a lackluster tone as she turned away from Pinkie.

"So G, what you been up to?" Dash asked.

"I've been traveling around, doing some bounty hunting for awhile. I just finished chasing down some jackhole after he led me through the desert thinking he could outrun me," Gilda smirked. "Picked this sweet knife off his corpse."

She held out the knife for Dash to look over. It dwarfed the knife currently embedded in the bar in size; to call it a knife would be a disservice, it was more like a small machete.

Dash watched Pinkie get distracted by something and wander off. Dash wasn't really paying attention to that girl, she wasn't her babysitter.

"That's my Gilda, always kicking ass," Dash said as she began to walk out of the bar. "Do you wanna get out of here? Maybe catch up on some sparring?"

"Sure," Gilda replied, following behind, but then she said in a low voice so that Pinkie couldn't hear, "but do you wanna ditch this loser? She's crampin’ our style."

"That's not such a good idea-" Dash tried to tell Gilda.

"Come on, just follow me," Gilda said, hopping on her own motorcycle, a big burly powerhouse of steel and pipes.

"Wait!" Dash warned, but it was too late. Gilda was already driving off.

Rainbow Dash followed after her, leaving Pinkie behind. She kept up with Gilda as she drove through the city, but Dash knew what was coming, and she kept her eyes peeled.

Amazingly, not a single bit of pink was to be found as the two sped through the city, but that didn't put Dash at ease. She kept her eyes peeled; it was only a matter of time.

"Come on, lighten up!" Gilda shouted, "I'll race ya to our old sparring place!"

"Dream on!" Dash returned, gunning the throttle and screaming past Gilda.

Gilda kept the pace, staying right on Dash's rear tire. They jet through the town, buildings and cars a blur. As they approached their hangout - an old busted warehouse- they became neck and neck. Just as they were about to make it, they both pulled the brakes and drifted past the finish line.

"Ha! I knew you couldn't beat me!" Gilda boasted.

"Dream on, there was no way you beat me, not now, not ever," said Dash.

"Pshhh, whatever," Gilda said.

Then a third voice joined in.

'Actually..."

Both Gilda and Dash turned to see Pinkie Pie, hunched over, gasping for air. "Dash...won by just a… teeny tiny sixteenth of an inch."

"Ha! See? I knew you didn't win, good thing Pinkie was here to keep you honest," Dash said triumphantly. "I'll meet you inside, join me when you're ready to get whooped again."

"Yeah, sure..." Gilda said, watching Dash until she was outta sight.

Pinkie started to follow Dash into the warehouse, but suddenly lost her footing as it caught on something. Pinkie fell on her face and a cloud of glitter dust puffed out of her hair.

"Woooooow," Gilda said sarcastically as she walked by her, "walk much?"

The abandoned warehouse almost completely barren, save for the occasional empty crate lying on the ground. It was on one of these crates that Pinkie was perched upon as she watched Gilda and Rainbow Dash spar.

They took turns trading blows, nothing too hardcore, just a friendly game between two longtime friends. Each move they made was slow and deliberate, time was taken to make sure every muscle was in unison.

"Your fighting style has changed," Dash commented. "It's more...primal. More core movements and lightness on your feet, you keep your center moving in a circle around your opponent, like a vulture...or an eagle."

"It's just something I picked up," Gilda replied.

They slowly stepped around each other, Dash threw a light punch testing Gilda.

“So what have you been up to, Dash?” Gilda asked, easily hopping back and smacking Dash’s hand aside.

“Get this, some evil bitch calling herself Lady Nightmare was doin’ some shit or whatever-” Dash began, blocking a simple hook from Gilda.

“-and I helped out some chicks, like Pinkie over there, and we beat the ever loving shit out of her-” Dash threw a couple of elbow swings.

“-anyways she’s still somehow not dead, but she’s using these weird creatures called Beasts to ‘destroy the world’ or some shit, I don't really know what she wants-” Gilda swung a wide haymaker.

“-so now we've got these sweet weapons that are the only thing that'll kill ‘em, how badass is that?” Dash said.

“Wow, that’s pretty...cool, or whatever,” Gilda replied, "enough practicing, are you ready for a real fight?"

Dash took a couple steps back and assumed a fighting stance. "Thought you'd never ask."

Dash was the first one to rush. She threw a couple of jabs at Gilda, followed by a swinging backhanded blow. Gilda dodged or countered each blow. This went on for five continuous minutes as they took turns trading blows with each other. It was an improvised concert, blow for blow, countering each move. Perfection, all in the moment.

Then Dash messed up, maybe too much force into the swing left her open to the side, maybe the her footing was off by just a little, or the her clothing dragged just a little too much, it didn't matter. It was a tiny mistake, but enough for Gilda to gain the upper hand.

Gilda wasted no time seizing the opportunity, rushing Dash and leaping into the air, performing a spinning kick. Dash tried bracing herself, but it still struck hard, knocking her down. With Dash on the ground, Gilda jumped on top of her attempting a pin. Before Gilda could get overtop, Dash put her feet out and launched Gilda overhead with a vault. She landed a couple feet away.

They both stood back up and resumed their stances, ready for the next exchange. It was Gilda's turn to lead. She led off with a flurry of quick blows. Dash was having trouble, just barely able to block the lightning quick blows, then Gilda stunned her with a headbutt. Staggering back, Dash was disoriented. Gilda brought her foot up and was about to drop kick her, and Dash only had moments to react. She brought her arms together in an X to hold Gilda's foot as she brought it down. Dash cradled Gilda's foot and launched it back, throwing Gilda off balance and finally giving Dash a chance to finish the match. Gilda's arms were unguarded, Dash seized them and flipped over Gilda, holding her arms so they came behind her head. Once Dash landed behind Gilda, she shoved her knee in Gilda's back, sending her falling to the ground hard with nothing to brace herself with. Dash was on top of her to press her down, effectively pinning Gilda down.

"Oh, fuck! No fair, what kinda move was that?" Gilda said with Dash's knee pressed into her face.

Rainbow Dash grinned, letting go of Gilda. "You're not the only one who's learned some new moves."

Gilda stood up off the ground, dusting herself off. "Well, that was a cheap ass move. Too scared you couldn't take me?"

"Grapple moves like that have been effectively used in combat tournaments for a couple years now," Pinkie chimed in as she pulled a tootsie roll out of her hair, throwing it up into the air for it to land in her mouth.

Dash was visibly shocked. "How do you even know that? Pinkie Pie you are so random."

"Ha, very funny," Gilda said in a forced calmness.

"Alright, it's been fun but I think we're done sparring for now, lets get going," Rainbow Dash said, making her way for the door.

As soon as Dash was gone, Gilda's face turned from placid facade to visible scowl. She walked right up to Pinkie Pie and hoisted her right up by her suspenders.

"Listen here bitch," Gilda hissed, "you stay the fuck away from Dash, she's too badass for a dweeb like you. Otherwise the only thing that'll be left of you will be a smudge of glitter."

Gilda dropped Pinkie on her ass and started to walk away, leaving Pinkie on the concrete floor.

"But-" Pinkie started.

Gilda turned around and what Pinkie saw was not the face she had seen moments before. Her eyes were a deep glowing yellow and her mouth had contorted into a two rows of jagged, pointy teeth and her nose became elongated and curved. She let loose a deep roar, that silenced any protest.

There was a moment of silence. Pinkie stared at Gilda for the longest time. A look of panic creeped across Gilda's face when she realized what she had done. Before either person could recover their senses, Gilda rushed away.

As Gilda walked out the door, Pinkie got up to try and chase after her, but as soon as she got outside, Gilda was gone, and the only thing left was a big brown feather in the ground. Pinkie picked it up, and packed it into her poofy hair for later.

"I have to warn the others," she said, running off.

Author's Note

So I finally got this all done, and I'm glad, because now I've got that monkey off my back. I had hoped I got this done before the end of the year but the finishing process took longer than expected, whatya gonna do?
Unfortunately, I don't expect to be putting a lot of time into this story anytime soon, between classes and work I am way too busy. I always put school school first.

I intend to wrap this story arc up in the next chapter, I'm still not sure how to format the story arcs, whether or not to put them in one chapter or two chapters or three or short little one-thousand snippets. Let me know what you think.

I also adding a bit more language and vulgarity to make it sync up with that PSG-feel.

I plan to do a couple of retcons to the previous chapters, I'll let you know in a blog post when and what they are, some of them are continuity things or for effect (for example, I'm not sure if I already changed it, but I decided to make Rarity to hold her shield, that way she's getting a little more dynamic and 'into' the fights so to speak, it means a bit more when you jump in front of a laser beam over just sending a force field over there, and that's why Chris Evans plays Captain America and not the Invisible Woman...probably)