Barn Pests

by BSting

Rating: everyone
Tags: Big Macintosh, Random, Slice of Life, Applejack, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1055

Big Mac deals with a swarm of winged pests and gets it in the end.

One morning, a family of wasps move into the Apple family's barn. Big Mac tries to get them out with almost comical results.

This just for fun. Love it, hate it, doesn't matter. I was bored.

Published 2013-02-13 21:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-13 21:50:02 UTC

Act 1

Big Mac in Barn Pests

Act 1

It is a beautiful morning in Sweet Apple Acres. The Apple family gets out of bed at the first crow of the rooster. While they are all eating breakfast at the table, Applejack and Big Macintosh make a game plan for the chores they plan to do today.

"So I'm guessin' the northern orchard is ready for our usual pickin', eh brother?" asks Applejack.

"Eeyup." says very little of Big Mac, as usual.

"We are going to need a lot of apple carts to get them all to the barn and shipped today. How many do you think we need?"

Big Mac thinks for a minute. "All of them?"

Applejack chuckles. "That sounds about right."

Apple Bloom beams with the need to be helpful. Maybe, she can get her Cutie Mark!

"Can I help, sis? Can I? Can I? Can I?" she pleads, bouncing up and down.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Just, uh, be careful with handling the equipment, ok? We don't wanna make orders fer new ones. What was it you gals wanted to be? Cutie Mark Crusader Cart Racers?"

"I told ya, that was all Scootaloo's idea."

"All the same, be careful."

Apple Bloom walks out of the house and heads to the barn where they keep their apple bucking equipment. When she walks under the large door frame, however, she hears a faint buzzing coming from above her. She looks up and sees a large lump that looks like it was made out of paper mache. She sees little bugs crawling all around it. One of them flies down and hovers at Apple Bloom's eye level. Her heart skips a beat when the red bug flies closer to her, showing off its stinger on the end of its red abdomen! It's a paper wasp and its hive is right above her! Apple Bloom screams, trying to run as fast as she can. The wasp, content with scaring off its potential threat, flies back up to its hive.

Big Mac and Applejack rush out of the house. "Sugar cube! What happened?" Applejack asks in a panic.

"Applejack!" Apple Bloom shouts to her sister, almost out of breath. "There wuz this big ol' wasp nest hanging inside the barn! One of those wasps wuz about ta stick its giant needle in me. I ran as fast as I could away."

"Shoot, this ain't good. Those dad-blasted hornets are kicking us outta our own barn! I'll show those critters a thing or two." Applejack says with a huff. She isn't going to let a bunch of insects get in the way of her work. But just before she takes another step, Big Mac lifts one of his forelegs to block her way.

"Big Mac, Whaddya doin'?"

"I'll do it." he says determinedly. This isn't about equipment anymore. Those insects messed with the wrong stallion by threatening to hurt his little sister.

Applejack saw the fire in his eyes, but were they hot enough to face them all?

"Wait here. Pinkie Pie has a bee net that I think she can lend me. Don't ask why she has it, though." Applejack says before galloping off.

Mac's nerves are shot, his willpower steeling itself. "Nothing's gonna hurt ya, Apple Bloom." he assures her.

Apple Bloom looks at his brother with pride and sisterly love. "Yer so cool, big brother."

Later, Big Mac stands in front of the barn door with a bee net on his head. He can almost hear trumpets sounding off a war theme. With a broom in his mouth, he walks inside, walks past the hive, and turns around to face it. He eyes the buzzing activity and prepares for his next move. Suddenly, the same wasp that chased Apple Bloom off flies in front of Big Mac's face, brandishing a stinger. Big Mac starts to sweat, but realizes that as long as he wears the bee net, he was safe. However, it didn't occur to him that it didn't protect the rest of his body. The wasp circles around Mac, looking for a potential target. It soon eyes his giant butt and decides to swoop in for the attack. Before Big Mac can knock down the hive with the sweep of his broom, the wasp lands on his backside and firmly plants its stinger into him.

With the same inflection with how he answers to the usual yes and no questions, he shouts a loud "EeeeeeEEYOW", dropping the broom from his mouth.

The wasp dislodges itself from his haunch and buzzes a short "da da da DA da DA"! Responding to the melody, the swarm circles above Big Mac. His courage completely gone, Big Mac attempts to scramble out of the barn. Unfortunately, he trips over the broom handle and lands on his face, with his back-end in the air. The wasps form the shape of a pool cue and line their shot up to his exposed tail-end. With a thrust, they painfully knock him out of the barn, rolling like a cue ball. He rolls down a hill and slams into a tree. The next thing he knows, he's seeing stars.

Applejack gallops as quickly as she can to her brother's aid.
"Land sakes!" she exclaims. "Are you ok?"

"Oooh... My tailbone..." he says, dazed.

"I'm sorry that bee net was about as useful as a fork in drinking apple juice. Let's patch up those lumps."

"We'll patch up when I'm done." he says as he struggles to get up.

"You think maybe we should call Fluttershy? She can move those insects somewhere else."

Fluttershy? That fragile little pony? Big Mac dismisses the idea immediately. Those wasps were mean as mean can get. He was able to escape because he was a large pony. Those blasted hornets will tear that mare into shreds. He needs to take this in a different angle. His mind tries to think up ideas, but his thoughts kept turning to how those bugs humiliated him in front of his sisters. His thoughts also turn to the pain coming from his southern border. It felt like it was on fire...
Fire?

"Smoke!" Big Mac shouts.

"Wha? Hey, that's a good plan! I'll get a big stick and a lantern. BRB, BM!" Applejack says, trotting off.

End of Act 1