Episode 1: The Mercenary Menace
By Darth Quadro
Edited by Darklordtheslayer
WARNING: Repetitive reading of this text may induce Stockholm Syndrom
Viewer Discretion is Advised

---Somewhere in the Everfree Forest near the edge of Froggy Bottom Bog---

A trio of timber wolves were cornering their prey as the family of bunnies backed themselves into a sheer rock wall. The timber wolves continued to pace forward, snarling that haunting and hollow snarl of theirs with their glowing yellow eyes that many a pony found to be the last thing they saw before meeting a gruesome end, gleaming eerily. The timber wolves were always considered one of the most terrifying creatures of the Everfree. While they may not be difficult to defeat, they never stay down as they are the undying hunters of the forest; a sickening combination of enchanted wood and insatiable hunger, forever forced to be constantly hunting for their next meal with a hunger that can never be quenched.

Just as the timber wolves prepared to make the final pounce on their unfortunate prey and feast on their flesh, they were interrupted as electricity shot through the air between them, causing the timber wolves to yelp and reel back. Just as more jolts of electricity shot through the entire area like a lightning globe in mid-air with no protective glass. All the animals scattered in fear, the timber wolves being forced into a full retreat and their prey ducking out and running away as fast as they could. What happened next shook even the emotionless timber wolves cold with fear as a deafeningly loud sound resounded through the air, it was the sound of space and time tearing open and reality pulling itself apart. The sound was both incredibly loud and sickening to the stomach as the universe tried to resist this unnatural force tearing itself through, and then.... Silence. A hole in the universe was suspended in mid-air only a few feet above the ground when suddenly…

"HOLY FUCK!!!"

[HOLY SHIT!]

[HOLY SHIT FUCK!]

"OOOF!"

A strange red and black adorned creature flew through the hole in time and space just as the rift collapsed in upon itself with a mighty slam, returning the entire area back into its proper dimensions. The creature had been slammed into the ground with great force and laid on the ground in a daze.

"Ooooooooowwww!" The creature groaned heavily, popping its neck back into place and straightening out its back. “Where in the hell am I now?" It enquired, as the creature finally stood up.

[Dude I think we dimension hopped.]

"Again? Seriously? What is this, like the 106th time now? Why do I have such a problem finding a dimension and just sticking to it?" The creature complained, clearly frustrated with the predicament.

[Please don't be Zombieverse! Please don't be Zombieverse! Please don't be Zombieverse!--]

[Well for once it looks like we landed smack dab in the middle of fuckin nowhere, Oh Shit! What if this is the Zombieverse? Dude we could be Uber fucked!]

[Oh God! Please No! Anywhere but Zombieverse!]

Just then a small curious bunny hopped into the clearing looking to see what the source of that huge event was and now stared at the red and black clad creature twitching its nose.

"Wait! No look there, it's a living animal I think we're clear on the Zombieverse thing. Which still raises the question; where the fuck are we?" The creature questioned to itself, raising a hand to his chin whilst stroking it lovingly and thoughtfully until he realized just how weird he made that moment, he then shrugged and continued onwards.

[Hey you should kill that rabbit; you can take its meat and use it as a food ration later when you’re low on health.]

[Hmm? yes quite. Oh, and also, dodge left.]

"What? Oh!" Just then a snarling figure jumped from behind the bipedal creature attacking its rear. "DODGE! KICK! STAB!" He yelled while pulling off the combo when he noticed that his Bowie knife had created a wooden sounding thump. "What is this Naruto bullshit?!" The figure rose from the ground revealing itself to be a timber wolf with the knife buried deep in its side, yet the wolf paid no heed to it. "Oooh... the wood is a living thing." The biped said in an understanding tone.

[What? No! That just raises more questions! Stop pretending you know what’s going on!]

[I don't know about you two but I still think its Naruto bullshit.]

"All I know is, that bastard's got my knife. It has to die!"

[We are ignoring the fact that you were the one who stuck the knife in the thing. correct?]

[I don't even know what’s going on anymore. Let's fuck it up!]

Just then the timber wolf leaped at the biped who dodged by performing a forward roll under the wolf but instead of turning over when his shoulders hit the ground, he launched himself upward by pushing up with his arms and landing a double kick to the wolf's midsection. The timber wolf suddenly burst into hundreds of pieces all around the creature and the Bowie knife stuck into the ground by his head. "Um....? Well that was easy." He thought, re-sheathing his blade.

[Does anybody have an easy button because his shit just got wrecked!]

[Does anyone else get that ominous feeling from when a protagonist in a story says 'almost too easy'? No? Just me? Alright.]

The biped turned to start walking in some random direction in order to get away from the area when two more timber wolves stepped out of the brushes to meet him. Green noxious fumes leaked from their mouths as they snarled at their newly targeted prey.

"AH! Come on! What the hell?! Fine whatever bring it wood bitch!" He declared as both timber wolves leaped to tear out his jugular. The biped however deftly roundhouse kicked the first wolf's head off and then in one quick motion drew one of the swords strapped to his back and split the other wolf in half. "This... This is just sad! I actually feel bad cutting these things down, even if they were the ones stupid enough to attack me. I mean damn! I literally kicked that thing’s head off; it was like 'boop' gone! Dead! I didn't even kick that hard!"

[Um... Dude? You remember that feeling I was getting earlier?]

"Yeah?"

[Surprise! Look down dumb ass.]

All of the hundreds of pieces around him were starting to put themselves back together at quite a pace, the one behind him from earlier was already most of the way through and a deep, hollow, guttural snarl started to resonate from its body as the three timber wolves started reforming themselves to surround him.

"Hacks! I call Hacks! This is bullshit! I want out, fuck this place!"

[Where's that easy button? I'm gonna snap it in half for lying to me!]

[We've been here like ten minutes and already this dimension sucks ass, first impressions are a bitch!]

----Meanwhile somewhere in Froggy Bottom Bog----

"UGH! This is boring! Why are we here again?" Rainbow Dash moaned.

"Because Rainbow, we have to find the anomaly that's setting off all of Pinkie's senses." Twilight replied, clearly agitated with Rainbow Dash's complaining. This surprised her because she was expecting more of that from Rarity, who's only complaints, were in the form of many eew's and eek's or the occasional growl of frustration. Pinkie on the other hand was starting to find it hard to move around, as her future telling spasms got more and more violent to the point where she would actually stop talking during a spasm in fear of biting off her tongue, which she had already bitten eight times from earlier spasm's.

"So, again, I stress my point. Why are WE here?" Rainbow complained whilst indicating to herself, Applejack and Fluttershy, who had been ducking for cover and hiding at every sign of movement, clearly uncomfortable with being there after what had happened previously.

"Because WE," Twilight emphasised, indicating to all of them, "are the SIX Elements of Harmony and this is what WE do! Besides we need to know whether or not this could be an emergency. You never know when it comes to Pinkie."

"I'm the WILDCARD!" Pinkie piped up before succumbing to another spasm of shaking as her Pinkie Sense continued to act up.

‘This is much worse than last time. Whatever the heck is going on it's more than just a doozy this time.' Twilight thought worriedly to herself. "Look girls, the closer we get to the event the worse Pinkie's spasm's get and I'd say we are getting pretty darn close by now."

"Yep!" Pinkie confirmed.

"Ah'm just worried that the longer we stick around here, the more chance this is gonna end up like last time." Applejack said, now getting a little nervous and eyeing the murky water.

"Well, what happened last time? You girls seem to have neglected telling me yet. I just know it involved Fluttershy and a huge problem." Rarity inquired as she tried her hardest to dodge all of the thicker mud pockets.

"We got chased by a giant three headed Hydra all over the Bog and then Twilight burst into the flames. It was super fun you girls should have been there!" Pinkie recalled gleefully. Rarity glared at Pinkie in disbelief.

Twilight face hooved with all the fury of an angry god. "Pinkie, it was not fun, we did not have fun, nor will it ever be fun. And I only burst into flames out of frustration... because of you." Twilight stated, now getting annoyed at the whole situation.

There was a long, awkward silence as the six continued to trudge their way through the muddy bog, all of them now a little uncomfortable with this adventure and now wanting it to end. All Except for Pinkie Pie that is.

"Sooooo.... ten bits says we run into the same Hydra as last time? Anypony?" Rainbow blurted out to break the silence.

"I'll take that bet." Rarity answered.

"Count me in." Applejack added.

As if on cue four monstrous heads began to pull themselves out of the water. The creature was massive and covered in sickly yellowish brown scales with a yellow underbelly, and it was staring at the six ponies hungrily and ready to eat as the three heads subsequently flicked their forked tongues out of their mouths, tasting the air around them.

Rainbow leaned over to Twilight and asked, "Is that--?"

Twilight cut her off. "Yes Rainbow. Yes it is." Twilight deadpanned.

Just then the three heads of the Hydra drew in a massive amount of air and then threw its heads' forward, bellowing out a deafening roar in the ponies faces.

"RUN AWAY!" The six screamed in unison as they reared back and made an about turn to sprint away all at once.

----Meanwhile in Princess Luna's private chamber's at Canterlot Castle----

The room was pitch black, with no light seeping through any cracks as all the curtains were drawn. For Princess Luna the night was day and the day was night in her eyes. Princess Luna slept soundly, curled up in a tight ball pressed up against her lover and guardian with his forelegs wrapped comfortingly around his princess, looking to protect her even while asleep. The only sound was that of the soft breathing of the two lovers slumber, which resonated pleasantly through the room.

The two large doors leading into Luna's bedchambers swung open at a destructive speed, slamming against the inside of the bedroom wall with a loud CRACK! "LUNA!" Celestia yelled to her sister whilst standing at the epicentre of the carnage.

"WAAAAH! WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!" Luna screamed whilst bolting upwards franticly on her bed and accidentally flinging the Night Guard a few feet out of the bed, causing him to make a loud yelping noise as he flew through the air and got the wind knocked out of him as he hit the ground.

"I THINK I BROKE YOUR DOOR!" Celestia screamed back, momentarily forgetting why she was there in the first place. She could hear the Night Guard groan in pain on the ground and was always surprised to see how different the Night Guards look whenever she sees one without their armor on. He was a pegasus with a noticeably thick jet black coat and his mane was a dark blue with a goldish yellow streak through the middle. She also noticed that even in his normal form he was larger than most ponies while still not being considered huge.

"TIA! WHAT THE BUCK! WHY--" Luna was swiftly interrupted by Celestia before her little sister could express how royally pissed off she was.

"WAIT! ... Wait-wait-wait-wait, Okay, now I remember why I'm here. Luna! I need your help with something!" Celestia now explained with urgency.

Luna just stared at her sister, absolutely shocked and at a loss for words as she started to make the noise as if she wanted to say something but just couldn't quite figure out how to say it. Her Night Guard was now dizzily wobbling to his feet having no idea what was going on and why so much shouting was involved. He was having such a good dream too with Luna and Princess Cadance and a hot tub and the knowledge that he is probably going to have to explain himself later to Luna as she most definitely saw that dream. He just hoped she wasn't going to use it to black mail him later under threat of telling his commanding officer; Shining Armor.

"Lulu, I know this is sudden and in the middle of the day but earlier today I felt a cosmic disturbance on a scale that I have never experienced before and the epicentre of the disturbance was only a few miles from Ponyville!" Celestia exclaimed, sounding panicked. The Night Guard walked a few feet before collapsing again at the foot of Luna's bed due to a combination of nausea and just being tired as hell. He still didn't really know what was going on, nor did he care, but what he did know was that all he wanted to do was get back into bed and cuddle with Luna, everything else was inconsequential bullshit. He finally managed to pull the upper half of his body on the bed.

"Okay, so what does this have to do with me?" Luna replied spitefully even though she was legitimately interested in what was happening, she was still pretty pissed off at Celestia and was also cranky from drowsiness.

"I can't perform scrye spells as well as you can and I need you to look someone up." Celestia answered pleadingly. The Night Guard dozed, still halfway on the bed.

Luna's horn lit up as she concentrated on performing a spell of her own creation. By Luna's horn a metallic silver liquid was conjured out of nowhere and began to spin and grow in size, forming a loose ball of liquid silver. She then manipulated the ball and spread it out flat across the floor to form a circular reflection pool out of the liquid, creating a perfect mirror. "Alright, who do you want me to look up?"

"I need you to look up Twilight Sparkle, knowing my student she probably already knows of the disturbance and has gone to investigate. I'd like to know what she's found so far." Celestia stated confidently.

"Alright, let's see what I can pull up." Luna responded, moving her hoof over the surface of the silver disc. Just as soon as the picture came up, the room filled with the noise of six ponies screaming and running for their lives with four monstrous heads in pursuit roaring at them. Luna just as quickly swiped her hand back over the silvery mirror, turning it off. Luna stared at the disc, eyes wide in shock and panting heavily at the jump scare. The noise had also jolted the Night Guard awake as he was now looking around frantically, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing.

"You know, I can't honestly say that I'm surprised by this at all." Celestia admitted nonchalantly.

"You mean this happens often?" Luna asked inquisitively.

"Oh you have no idea; she's actually been in this same situation before. Don't worry if anything gets too out of hoof, I'll intervene. Now turn it back on so we can see what's happening." Celestia reassured Luna. The Night Guard had finally made it all the way onto the bed and was just about to go lie down next to Luna when he stepped on something that was too hard to be a pillow. He looked down and found the severed head of a Draconaquus under his hooves. The head smiled at him, causing the Night Guard to let out a yelp as he reared back and fell backward off the bed.

Luna turned the scrye pool back on to watch as Discord's body started to put itself back together. "Hey girls, what's up? Watching a bunch of ponies get eaten? That's cool." Discord commented, leaning over them to watch.

"When exactly did my room become a social gathering area? Discord why are you in here?" Luna snapped, getting even more annoyed than she already was. Discord simply shrugged in response. Luna rolled her eyes. The Night Guard just laid down on the floor and groaned, pretty much just giving up on trying to get back on to the bed, especially now that Discord was there. Discord absolutely loved messing with him, ever since he found out that he was with Luna, Discord would jump at the chance to make his life a little bit harder. Luna had previously told him that Discord only messed with him as a screwed up form of bonding. He didn't give a buck.

The trio of gods watched Twilight Sparkle and her friends run for their lives from the massive and enraged Hydra, which was still bellowing out its ear-splitting roars. What happened next took all three gods completely by surprise. Somewhere out of the view of the scryeing pool they could hear somepony start to shout.

"LEEEEEERROOOOOOY JEEENNNKIIIINNNNSSS!!!!!" They heard as some strange creature clad in red and black and wielding two large odd looking blades came swinging into view on a large vine from the Everfree Forest and flying straight at the equally surprised Hydra. This surprised the Hydra most of all since nothing ever attacked the beast until then. Then in one deft movement the bipedal creature cut the middle two heads clean off with the two blades he was lofting over his head just moments before, somehow ignoring the armor-like scales on its neck. The two other heads screamed in pain as the mysterious creature seemed to strike some sort of pose as the middle two head's collapsed onto the ground behind him.

"Catch phrase." The creature uttered in a deep and extremely serious tone while holding his pose and directing his gaze towards the ponies. Discord was so dumbstruck that he didn't even notice the Night Guard who had finally gotten onto the bed and was now watching the scrying pool with the same dumbfounded expression.

The three gods and the Night Guard continued to stare at the mirror pool even after the scrye spell wore off because of Luna’s faltering concentration. No pony said anything until finally Celestia broke the silence; "Soooo... That just happened.... What do we do now?"

"Get some ice cream and think about it later?" Luna suggested.

"Sounds Good." Discord replied, still surprised at the fact that he was still surprised.

"I can go for that." Celestia agreed. The Night Guard just followed Luna, yawning heavily and went with the trio to get ice cream despite his drowsiness.

----A Few Minutes Earlier Back at the Clearing in the Everfree Forest----

The bipedal creature had constructed a campfire with a large amount of assorted bits of wood and was now roasting rabbit meat on a stick over the fire as the creature itself bit into a chunk of meat.

[Nothin like a bit of wolf- wood smoked rabbit to set your mind at ease.]

[Here in the random ass forest we only use the highest quality wolf- wood around to smoke your rabbit.]

"You know, strange enough as it is, this actually does not taste like chicken, like at all. Weird." the creature mused.
He then quickly started to gnaw away at the foot of the rabbit. "Damn I'm feelin lucky as shit right now! Where’s the casino?" The creature inquired to itself.

[First, I don't think eating the rabbit's foot is supposed to be lucky, you’re supposed to wear it around your neck. Second, we are in the middle of the mother fucking woods, why the hell would there be a casino nearby!?]

[.... That's stupid you’re supposed to eat it and gain its power, let's go rob a bank instead!]

"Fuck Yeah!"

[I hate you. I hate you both. I really do.]

[Nah, man you just walk backwards it's really not that complicated.]

[AAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!]

The creature had pulled up its mask a little so it could eat and under the mask the creature’s skin was riddled with scars and pock marks all over its neck and mouth. The skin seemed warped and stretched and even bulged up a little in some places. Something was clearly wrong with the creature but he gave no sign of it.

At that moment a loud bellowing roar could be heard from not too far away followed by the fearful shrieks of a group of chicks in dire need of some saving with a side of hero.

[Dude, did you hear that? Sounds like a bunch of scantily clad cheerleaders that need saving.]

[And we're the only man for the job.]

"Sounds like I'm gonna have to bring hell to Frog Town... Click! Click!" The creature declared, pulling out his sidearm and cocking it.

While the noises of the roars and screams were moving fast, the creature moved faster. In order to be of any assistance, he would have to head them off so he'd have time to set up and form a plan in order to save those girls. With this in mind, he sprinted through the forest whilst performing amazing feats of dexterity as he bobbed and weaved past every obstacle in a way that only someone adept in the art of parkour could. Well, except he was pretty sure he stepped on what looked like a chicken's head sticking out of a bush. At the sheer speed at which this creature moved it didn't take long before he was in front of whatever it was that was making all that noise.

What he saw next he could honestly say that he was not expecting.

[Was that a FUCKING HYDRA!?!?]

[Who gives a shit about the Hydra, those screams we heard, the ones that were SUPPOSED to be coming from a bunch of scantily clad woman, were being emitted from..... Ponies? WTF Mate?]

"So we landed in a dimension with sentient equines and large mythical beasts? Maybe? Possibly? I don't know but we still should act the hero even if they are a bunch of horses. Which, hold up.... yeah, match all the colors in my crayon box. This might take a while to set in, well whatever we still got a Hydra to kill, so the plan goes!"

[We should probably set up some impromptu ambush.]

[Yeah and get the surprise round once it gets close enough!]

"I found a vine!"

[Good for you, Jackass.]

[Now we have to take into concept that this is a Hydra so whatever we do we should never ever--]

"Time’s up. You’re taking too long, let's fuckin do this!" In that time the creature had already managed to climb up into a tree and was holding the long vine.

[Wait! No! Don't!]

"LEEEEEERROOOOY JEEEEENNNNKIIIIIINNNNNSSS!!!!!!!!!" The red and black clad biped yelled out at the top of his lungs as he flung himself from the tree and was now hurtling downward at the creature at extreme speeds with both long swords drawn and raised over his head in a crossing position and legs positioned and ready for impact. If a Hydra were to ever show four different faces of surprise at the same time, which would probably be what this particular Hydra looked like at that moment. The creature fell towards the middle two heads and the creature proceeded to bring both his long swords down onto the neck of the beast in what could only be described as a falling helicopter slash and cleaving through the armor-like scales to cleanly decapitate both of the massive heads near the base of the long necks of the gargantuan monstrosity, causing them to flop onto the ground throwing a cloud of dust up into the air. The biped hit the ground and rolled in order to break the fall.

The creature rolled into a standing posture facing away from the group of ponies, now standing tall with a slight confident slump with one of his sword's laying across his shoulders and the other pointed at the Hydra. The red and black creature turned to the ponies in an almost menacing way. Then it spoke in a deep and dead serious tone in which it said; "Catch Phrase."

[Nailed It!]

[Wait, those scales were hard as shit how did we cut through them? That doesn't seem physically possible!]

[Yeah but it was physically awesome!]

Twilight Sparkle was raising a shaking hoof which was pointing behind the strange new creature.

"Dude! Don't ruin the moment!" the creature yelled at Twilight who seemingly backed up in fear of him but was still looking behind him. "Oh, wait I wasn't talking to you. What are you looking at anyways? That thing must be nearly crippled from pain by no-- Oh...." The creature looked behind him to find that the Hydra had grown four more heads in the place that he had just cut off two.

[See, this is what I was trying to warn you about but nooooo! Neither of you ever listen to me!]

[Why didn't you speak up!?]

[I couldn't, dumb ass here jumped before I had time.]

"The fun has been DOUBLED!" the creature yelled excitedly as he made ready to charge the beast.

[No! Wait! The fun has not been doubled! The fear has been doubled, you moronic freak!]

[Fuck That!]

Everypony looked in horror as this new alien creature turned and charged at the furious Hydra whose lethal power had just been amplified by the creature's foolish opening attack. Fluttershy had fainted after seeing the gore filled scene of the initial double decapitation and was not moving. Then everypony else noticed that Pinkie had stopped vibrating.

"So... is this the doozy?" Twilight asked without taking her eyes from the scene in front of her.

"Yup." Pinkie stated just as flabbergasted as Twilight. Even the notoriously random Pinkie Pie was unsure of how to react to this situation.

----Back at Canterlot Castle Dining Hall----

"Now look, hear me out first, all I'm saying is that the gravitational pull that this planet has on its residents is already so heavy on the ponies. Wouldn't it make everypony's life a little easier if I just lowered it a little? I mean look at it this way, it's already an astronomical anomaly so it’s not like it’s supposed to exist anyway." Discord pleaded, shaking his spoon full of ice cream at the two sisters as he attempted to request a little more chaotic leeway.

"No!" both sisters shouted in an annoyed tone, shooting down all of Discord's ideas for altering the fabric of reality.

"Look Discord, I know you’re bored but you’re going to have to find a way to entertain yourself without any catastrophic consequences." Celestia told Discord, trying to sound as understanding as possible.

"Guuuhh! Fine." Discord threw up his hands in defeat as he went back to finishing his ice cream, mumbling to himself about the implications and advantages of exploding bunnies.

The four of them continued to eat their deserts in an awkward silence until it was broken by Luna. "So who wants to check on the progress of whatever was going on with twilight and that thing that popped out of the woods?" Luna asked the group. Each of them shrugged in agreement and moved over to be closer to the middle of the table where Luna performed her scrye spell once more. "Alright, here we go. Let's see what they're up to now." The image wavered in showing the same place that they left off. This time the room was filled with the noise of a mixture between various profanities being shouted and a multitude of monstrous roars from the many heads of the Hydra which had increased in number from four to what looked like eight heads. The strange creature that they had seen charging towards it earlier; was suspended in mid-air by the Hydra that continuously attacked it, but to no avail. The red and black biped impressively fended off each attack. It was kicking and hacking away at each of the heads as they came at him, each attack propelling him into the air and sometimes it would even prop itself up by two heads attacking at once to his sides while slicing at heads attacking at his rear and front. A scene of gore and horror could be seen below the mid-air stunt battle as a literal pile of enormous heads had begun to pile up, some much more cut up than others.

"Fifty bits says he gets torn apart!" Discord called in an attempt to start a betting ring.

"Discord!" Celestia scolded Discord whilst looking appalled at the thought.

"Oh lighten up, Tia. This is a foreign species were dealing with that has placed itself in this position of danger. By your own law if we are not directly involved in this conflict than we are not allowed to intervene. Besides, it’s also happening inside the vicinity of the Everfree which is outside our jurisdiction, hence the name." Luna explained calmly, not taking her eyes off the battle.

"I really need to go over my own laws; I seem to keep forgetting them. Fine then, one hundred bits says split in half." Celestia said passively.

"Tia! I'm surprised at you." Luna gasped in mock surprise. "Only one hundred bits, I'm going to have to match you with one-fifty for decapitation."

"Two-hundred says he lives." The Night Guard added, still drowsy from being woken up.

"Thou darest bet against thy own princess?" Luna asked jokingly in her archaic accent. "Thy drowsiness makest thou quite bold." Luna added humorously.

"A bold bet indeed, I wish I could share the same optimism in this strange creature’s skill despite how impressive it already is. It seems to be continually making things harder for itself." Celestia stated with a legitimate sense of worry, despite having already placed a bet against its life.

"Wait, you can talk?!" Discord interjected looking at the Night Guard in surprise. "I honestly thought you were a mute! You've never said a word to me or around me the entire time I've been here. I actually thought that was the reason Luna liked you so much." The Night Guard yawned loudly in response. "Oh... you cheeky bastard."

Turning back to the scrying pool Luna had made, they noticed that the creature had somehow managed to cut off yet another head of the Hydra, which was now growing two more in its place. "I think I'm wearing it down!" The creature called down to the ponies whilst stabbing one of the heads in the nose and using the force of the Hydra trying to shake him off to kick two other heads away from him and nailing another in the eye with his other sword.

Twilight and the others were yelling at this possibly insane creature to stop cutting off the Hydra's head's and that he was making the situation worse than it already. Suddenly one of the heads got into the creature's blind spot and snatched him up into his mouth. Everypony gasped in fright as the Hydra made to swallow him whole. Surprisingly, the head that held the creature seemed to have stopped moving not even making to swallow the biped in its mouth. The other heads looked at the head holding the creature in confusion. The four watching through the scrying pool had a similar look on their faces.

The head holding the creature suddenly dropped from the air with a loud thud as it hit the ground. It was seemingly dead. The other heads now looked at the fallen head with a hint of fear, not understanding why it didn't just swallow the damn thing. The head began to stir, the mouth slowly opening. Grunting sounds could be heard within the Hydras mouth. Finally the mouth opened all the way, revealing the biped holding up the mouth in one hand while yanking at something that seemed to be stuck at the roof of its mouth with the other. The creature finally jarred loose what he was pulling at and unsheathed its sword from the Hydras brain cavity and spraying the grey matter across the ground as he walked out of its mouth. "Hey! I think I found its weakness. Its head becomes powerless if you lobotomize it!" The creature called out to the ponies, who were all looking at him with expressions of a mix between dumbstruck awe and horror. All the other heads of the Hydra cried out in sorrow and anger at the loss of one of its other heads, especially now that it could not grow another in its place.

Two of the heads resumed their attention back on the creature that was now running and jumping off the brain dead head's snout. Both heads lunged forward to intercept the creature mid-air, mouths wide open in preparation to chomp the creature in half. "Pineapple Surprise!" The creature called out as it lobbed two green egg looking objects into both of the mouths that were heading toward it. With a loud BOOM; the two mouths exploded open, gushing out torrents of gore and blood and collapsing onto the ground as well. A third head swung down to catch the leaping creature mid-air in which the creature used the opportunity to promptly somersault over the diving mouth and used the top of the head as a step to jump off of as he dived for another head trying to intercept him from the side. He disposed of that head quickly after landing atop of it and shoving the full length of his sword through its eye and into its brain. He then used the falling head as a kick stand to pull his sword from the head while slashing at another incoming head as another came from below, hoping to catch him off guard while a third head came from above. He propped the lower one’s mouth open with a split kick right before slamming its jaws closed and shoving one of his sword's through its gums and into its brain, while simultaneously throwing his other sword into the mouth of the upper head and lobotomizing that one as well. Using his now free hand; he grabbed one of his flash bangs and tossed it into the mouth of the head he slashed at earlier, which was coming around for a second run. The mouth erupted with a brilliant flash of light as the creature hid his eyes and the Hydra head roared in pain from the massive third degree burns inside its mouth. The creature hit the ground and rolled as two more heads came crashing down around him.

There were only three operational heads left and they were not giving any sign of wanting to give up. In fact the last three heads seemed to be more determined than ever, two of which were giving thunderous roars of frustration and anger while the third flailed about in pain and rage. The enraged head came down in a great swooping arc, now trying to bash this troublesome creature to death, he responded by back flipping over the sweeping head and while in mid arc of the flip, grabbing onto the head and riding the flailing Hydra back up into the air to go after the remaining heads. However the raging head did not like this plan at all and started to fiercely shake in an effort to try and get the biped off and was quickly flung high into the air by the force of the action. Both of the still good heads quickly took this opportunity to catch him on his way down. As the two heads came up to meet him, the creature quickly did a barrel roll to avoid the Hydra's attacks, using his sword as a kind of blade shield. As he passed by one head, he stopped the barrel roll and shoved his sword through the eye of one of the Hydra’s heads in mid-flight, the momentum and angle of which caused the blade to go straight through to the brain. The biped had immobilised yet another head and promptly back flipped off of it as it fell. The scorched head caught him at mid arc off guard and bashed him with its head, sending him careening through the air in a heap of profanities and flesh. The other head tried to catch him and eat him whole as he was flung in one direction but the creature was holding his sword between his legs; making some sort of pseudo stinger. As the head came around to swallow him, it instead got a blade shoved through the roof of its mouth, which the creature promptly used as a kick stand to jump back out of the mouth and yank his sword free. The creature landed atop one of the fallen heads on which he sheathed his sword and drew two very large knives. He then began to run up the neck of the fallen head while deftly dodging the blind attacks of the last remaining Hydra head until it reached the back of the Hydra. There he made an about turn to face the neck of the remaining head and used the knives to stab-climb his way up the final head as the head flung itself about in a last-ditch attempt to shake him off. When he finally reached the top of the head, he held on for dear life with one hand as the head began to slam itself against the ground and with the other hand he drew his long sword once more and plunged the blade into the ear hole of Hydra, finishing off the final head.

The strange and frightening bipedal creature yanked out his sword and quickly wiped off the blood before sheathing the blade and doing the same for the two large knives. He then rose and started to approach the ponies. Everypony was frozen in place unsure whether they should run or see what he wants. The creature was now standing before them and looking down at them. "So, after I kill one of those things am I like, supposed to absorb its soul and gain its power or something because that would be sick as fuck." It questioned curiously. "I mean I know it’s not technically a dragon but it’s pretty damn close right? Right? No? Okay. That's cool."

No pony moved, not even the princesses watching from the castle were sure of what to think. "Wh-who are you?" Twilight spoke up first.

"Ah! The name’s Wade Wilson!" It spoke up cheerfully. "But you can call me DEADPOOL!

End

Author's Note

Well readers I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it because I cursed this chapter with its own title thats right everypony you remember Star Wars: Episode 1 don't you bitch! Now Think About It! YES, REMEMBER IT!!!

Well anyways in case any body was wondering here's a list of Deadpool's full load-out when he first arrived in this dimension:
Twin USP .45's with tactical flashlight and laser pointer on bottom tac rail with detachable silencers, armpit holsters
12 extra clips all with extended clip size (20 rounds, anti-personel)
Twin Modified M9's (custom grips, modified receiver, ventilated barrel, modified iron sights, hair triggers for faster rate of fire, and crayon writing all over the damn things of instructions on how to use them) hip holsters
10 clips all extended mags (25 rounds, full metal jacket)
2 HE Fragmentation grenades (used both)
2 Flashbang Stun Grenades (used 1)
1 Bowie knife Large size
1 K-Bar standard issue
20 assorted throwing knives across bandoleer on his chest
1 swiss army knife
Twin black steel tactical long swords strapped to his back
first aid kit (consists mostly of Epi-pens)- can someone give me the correct spelling
2 hypodermic needles
A small vile of rabies virus (don't ask)
2 knuckle blaster stun guns
4 extra battery packs for tazer
1 can of mace
2 boot knives
4 assorted switch blades hidden somewhere on his body
a cassette copy of Journey: Greatest Hits
3 spair masks
give or take 30 pouches all across his equipment most of them found on his belt these pouches are Deadpool's hammer-space. He keeps all of his plot device tools in here as long as they are small enough to fit

And this is a light load-out for Deadpool especially with no machine gun to accompany him. Will he use all the items on this list through out this story.... Fuck No! Da hell am i supposed to do with a journey cassette tape, even Equestria doesn't use cassette players! Why did i include it? Cuz it just seems like something Deadpool would have. Oh and he also keeps Agent X's liver in one of his pouches too. Also, No Deadpool does not have his teleporter, he actually stopped using it awhile ago the damn thing never worked anyways. To top this off I'm going to do my best to keep track of how much ammo Deadpool uses throughout the entire series as at no point will he get extra ammo (there are no guns in Equestria what-so-ever), so if you notice that I make a mistake please let me know I will be keeping an ammo counter in the author's notes from now on whenever he uses these guns.
Current ammo count: USP .45= 240 rounds M9= 250 rounds

If you're wondering why twilight didn't just use her magic to stop the Hydra it is because all Draconic creatures have a natural resistance to magic some more than others, the Hydra adapted an exceptionally high magic resistance as it actually has very few defenses. Like such as it does not have any oral attacks such as fire breath or acid spray, this thing just roars which can fuck up your ears but besides that no combat application, it's main ability is to grow back 2 new heads every time you cut off 1 (this is not a regeneration factor, it is a magical ability every head is a new head) but do you know how often that happens in nature almost fuckin never the only thing that could do that to a hydra is a dragon and they're smart enough not to. Oh, and that also brings up another fact, Hydra's are feral so they have very little intelligence. So all in all the hydra kind of sucks but its still big enough to fuck you up so don't go messing with it.

I would also like to give special thanks to my editor: DarkLordtheSlayer