Luckily enough, Applejack simply didn't have the time to be scared of the sudden fall. By time her brain had processed the fact that she was falling, she had already landed with a splash. Two thoughts meandered through her head: Thank Celestia I landed in water and I am gonna kick somebody's ass for this. She floated to the surface, bobbing like a cork. The water actually felt quite nice. It was pleasantly warm, and the shade from Rainbow Dash's cloud house meant that the afternoon sun wasn't burning through her closed eyes. For a few minutes, Applejack floated on her back, listening to the sound of the wind rustling the reeds around the edges of whatever it was she was floating in. The rustling was surprisingly loud.

Then she remembered she was naked, and that her dick and boobs were both protruding from the water. She immediately ducked under the water so that only her head was sticking out. She glanced around. She recognized her surroundings. It was the pond out behind her barn. She smiled. The other end of the water was a fairly secluded area; she could swim over there and sneak into the barn without anyone seeing her. She had plenty of old overalls and shirts in there. It would be a bit itchy, but that wasn't a big deal. She swam to the edge of the water and started to clamor out, thanking her good luck that almost no one hung around back there.

As she stepped onto the store, she shook herself off, sending water droplets everywhere. She froze as she heard a gasp.

"Applejack!"

Applejack slowly turned her head. Sitting in the sunny open space between the trees was a beach chair. Reclined on it, clad in a startlingly skimpy bikini and holding a tanning reflector, was Rarity.

"Uh... Hey, Rarity."

"Applejack, you're naked."

Applejack looked down at herself, then back at Rarity. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"And you have a... a... that." She pointed.

"Yup, I do seem to have one."

"That... hasn't always been there, has it?"

"Nope." Applejack shook her head.

"And it's green."

Applejack just nodded.

"Why is it green?"

"Would you believe me if I told you that it's Pinkie Pie's fault?"

"I...uh..." Rarity tried to think, but Applejack's penis was obviously distracting her. "Actually, yes, I think I would believe that." She set her tanning reflector aside and sat up, so quickly that her breasts bounced noticeably. Applejack began to sweat a bit as she noticed just how little fabric comprised Rarity's bikini. Rarity stretched, causing her breasts to sway. They were hardly enormous, but they were beautifully shaped and amazingly perky. "Um, Applejack?" Rarity cocked her neck.

"Yeah?"

"It's... it's moving."

"Huh?" Applejack looked down. Her penis had started to... respond to the scantness of Rarity's swimsuit. "Gah!" She clamped her hands over her cock.

"So..." Rarity blushed profusely. "...it seems you find me a bit... arousing?"

"Maybe." Applejack's face was so flushed it looked like a tomato. "It's your fault for wearin' such a damn skimpy bikini. The dick just kinda does that on its own."

"Well, yes, but... it's attached to you, is it not?"

"Yeah, it's attached."

"I don't recall you ever having one of those before. I'm quite sure I would have remembered that. Especially after that sleepover where we-"

"Yeah, yeah. I remember."

"If I may be so bold, may I ask exactly how did you obtain that... organ?"

Applejack sighed. "Why don't you take a guess?"

"Well, either you had Twilight cast a spell on you, or else your little sister went herb-gathering in the Everfree forest and happened to come up with a combo that had... adverse affects." Rarity stroked her chin. "I'm going to go with the latter; as I find it rather unlikely that you'd want Twilight to cast a spell on you that... does that." She nodded at Applejack's crotch.

"Yeah, about that..."

The blood drained out of Rarity's face. "Applejack," she gasped. "I never realized that you were into that sort of thing-"

"It's not like that!" Applejack said. "Twilight was tryin' to figure out a gender-flipping spell, and it ended up only workin' part-ways."

"Why on earth would you agree to be the test subject for such a thing!?"

"Well, she knew than you and Fluttershy would never be up for it, and she probably wouldn't want to risk doin' that stuff to Pinkie or Dash."

"So you thought you'd be a good friend and do it?"

"Pretty much."

"But why is it green? And why did you suddenly fall from the sky? And why are you naked?"

"It's a long story. I really really don't want to-"

"Hey, Applejack!" Rainbow Dash dropped out of the air, Pinkie piggyback riding her. She tossed a bundle at Applejack. "We brought your clothes!"

"Thanks." Applejack glowered at them. Nonetheless she started to pull her pants on.

"Wait, she was with you?" Rarity asked.

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash and Pinkie turned, and noticed Rarity. "Oh, hey. Yeah, AJ was hangin' with us up in my house. Guess Twilight's dick spell interfered with the cloudwalking one and made it conk out faster."

"Oh." Rarity nodded. "I guess that explains- wait a moment." She stared at Rainbow Dash. "You know about Applejack's... thing? And she was in your house? Naked? Whatever for!?"

"It was part of the contest!" Pinkie said. "I would have been part of it too, but I didn't get advance notice, so I couldn't join in!"

"Why on earth would she be naked?" Rarity scratched her head. "And it still doesn't explain why Applejack has a... third leg."

"Oh, that?" Rainbow Dash said. "I got one too." She dropped her pants. Rarity's jaw also dropped. "We thought we'd compare 'em."

Rarity turned back to Applejack "...I thought you said it was the result of a botched spell!"

"It was!" Applejack admitted. "At first, anyhow. Then Pinkie found out about--"

"I walked in on Applejack using her dick to fuck Twilight!" Pinkie interrupted.

"Dammit, Pinkie! Don't you y'all have any concept of privacy!"

Pinkie shrugged. "You were banging her right there on the library table. I thought if you wanted privacy you'd do it in her bed."

"You- you were having sex with Twilight?" Rarity could only stare.

"It was her idea!" Applejack said.

"Yeah!" Pinkie interjected. "Then I got a dick too and me and Applejack double-teamed Rainbow Dash!"

Rarity began to babble. "Y-you... did what?"

"We both fucked her at once! I started off pounding her pussy, and then when Applejack showed up and stuck her dick up Rainbow Dash's-"

"I get the picture," Rarity interrupted.

"It was in her butt."

"I said I got it!" Rarity's eyes darted back to Applejack's crotch. "However did you get it to fit?"

Applejack cracked a smile. "I managed."

"Oh, she managed alright," Rainbow Dash said with a snort. "Couldn't sit down for a day after that."

Pinkie nodded. "And after we fucked Dash in both holes, we cuddled!"

"We cuddled," Rainbow Dash said. "You fell asleep. And you snore."

"So, let me make sure I have things straight." Rarity massaged her temples. "Twilight accidentally found way to give girls penises, so you use this spell to have an orgy!?"

"Nah, not an orgy. Just a threesome," Pinkie said. "I'm pretty sure you need more than three people to have an orgy."

"You know what I mean!"

"Trust me, Rarity, I don't know what the hell I was thinkin' either. I mean, the first time I guess I was just curious, but after that I dunno." She nodded at Pinkie and Dash. "Guess it's 'cause these two idiots talked me into it."

"Come on, Applejack!" Pinkie said. "It's because it's fun to have a dick sometimes!" She turned to Rarity. "Really, it is. I'd recommend trying it at least once!"

"I-I'll keep that in mind."

"Welp, we better get back to the contest!" Rainbow Dash said. "I just beat Applejack in a masturbation contest." She turned back to Applejack. "Alright, hop on my back. We can head over to Twilight's to have her cast that cloudwalking spell again, and then we can move on to event two!"

"Hell no!" Applejack crossed her arms. "Forget it. This whole contest thing was dumb to begin with! It's been nothin' but miserable so far. First you get me to bang you, then Pinkie just about yanked my cock off and painted the damn thing green, then I got dumped in a pond! I ain't puttin' up with this bullshit anymore!"

"You're just afraid that I'll beat you again!"

"Nuh uh!" Applejack shook her head violently. "I got so much more endurance than you it ain't even funny. I just got better things to do with my time than provin' it. Besides, after fallin' through your floor, I uh... ain't exactly in the mood."

"Fine! We'll settle this later." Rainbow Dash rushed forward, grabbed the front of Applejack's pants, and shouted into them. "You hear that, Appledick!? This isn't over!"

"Um, Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie Pie tapped her on the shoulder. "It can't hear you. Dicks don't have ears."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." Dash muttered. "I guess we gotta find something else to do. Want to head back to my place?"

Pinkie Pie grinned widely and nodded.

"Then let's get going!" Rainbow Dash grabbed Pinkie and lifted her into the air. "See you later, AJ. You better train your cock for next time!" The two girls disappeared back into Dash's house.

Applejack groaned. "Sorry about that, Rarity. I didn't mean to ruin your day like that. Especially not with all that talk about dicks an fuckin' and whatnot. I'm guessin' you didn't want to hear about all that."

"Well, when I woke up this morning I certainly didn't think I'd be hearing about Twilight having a spell that she can use to cause you to grow a penis. And I could have done without hearing about your little... contest. Although I must ask what on earth caused you to actually go along with this foolishness?"

"I'm not sure myself." Applejack sighed. "I gotta be honest, havin' a dick does feel pretty good sometimes. When you get started with it, it can be tough to stop." She raised an eyebrow. "Why, you wanna try it out?"

Rarity stared at her. "Um, no. I think I'll take a pass on that."

"You sure?" Applejack unzipped her pants and let her dick flap out. She waved it back and forth. "It's not like I actually have to have sex or anythin'. You could just suck on it."

"I don't think so." Rarity shook her head. "Even if it wasn't green. The color doesn't really suit it."

"It's non-toxic. I think."

"I don't care, I am not putting that thing in any part of my body."

"Why don't you just gimme a quick handjob then."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "I think I'm beginning to understand why you were so willing to participate. That... thing is messing with your head."

"It's not that bad. Don't you ever get horny and have a tough time concentratin' until you go and uh... take care of business."

"I do have... urges on occasion, but I try to not let them control me. Now put that thing back in your pants and take care of it in the privacy of your own home."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Applejack stuffed her dick back in her pants. "See, that's what I was talkin' about. Havin' a cock is still a bit of a novelty, I guess. It's somethin' new to use when you're pleasurin' yourself. So, uh, I guess I'll get outta here and let you try to enjoy the rest of your day. I like the bikini, by the way, and that's not just my dick talkin'."

"Thanks." Rarity said, not sure what to make of the compliment. "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah. Later." Applejack turned away and jogged towards the house.

Rarity shook her head. "Giving girls penises! What on earth was Twilight thinking?" She sighed, and after a moment she looked down at her own crotch. She shook her head again and resumed her tanning position. Girls with dicks. How stupid.

Applejack entered her kitchen to find the cutie mark crusaders gathered around the table. Under normal circumstances she would groan and walk right out the door, but today they were a welcome distraction from dick-related shenanigans. She severely needed to get her mind on something else. At the moment they were messing around with a stack of polaroid photographs. She craned her neck over them.

"So what have you girls been up to all day?" She asked. "More crusadin'?"

"Today we were Cutie Mark Crusaders Cryptozoologists!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Crypowhatsis?"

"Cryptozoologists," Sweetie Belle said. "People who search for animals and creatures whose existence hasn't been proven."

"Really? You find anything?"

"Actually, we totally did!" Scootaloo said. "We think we found some sort of sea serpent living in the pond back behind your barn!"

"Well, a pond serpent, at least," Apple Bloom said. "It can't be a sea serpent if it doesn't live in the sea."

"Yeah, but 'pond serpent' doesn't sound as cool," Scootaloo said. "That's just boring."

"How do you know it wasn't just a regular old snake?" Applejack said. "I mean, sea serpents are supposed to be real big and scary. If it fits in the pond it can't be that big."

"Maybe it's just a baby," Sweetie Belle suggested.

"I know it's definitely not a snake, though. It sure doesn't look like any snake I ever saw. Not a regular one at least." Apple Bloom shuffled through the pictures. "We even got a picture of it. It's kinda blurry and dark, but it's definitely some sort of new species. It doesn't have any eyes, and it has these two weird lumps at the bottom." She shoved the picture at Applejack.

Applejack took it, and stared for a moment. Then the blood drained from her face. "W-where did you see this?"

"We were hidin' the weeds at the edge of the pond waitin' for somethin'. Then we heard a splash and went over to it and managed to get a picture of it. We would've looked closer, but we'd been sittin' there for like three hours, and Sweetie Belle had to go to the bathroom."

Scootaloo snorted. "I can't believe you couldn't hold it just five more minutes. We could've totally caught it! That would definitely have gotten us our cutie marks."

"Uh, no it wouldn't have," Applejack mumbled. "This ain't no serpent."

"Then what is it?" Apple Bloom asked.

"It's... uh... not a serpent. It's probably just a weird shaped plant or somethin'. Definitely nothin' to get excited about." She shoved the photo into her mouth. It tasted awful, but leaving the photo around was a far worse option.

"Applejack, what are you doin'!"

"Gettin' my daily dose of fiber. I gotta take care of... stuff. See you later." She all but sprinted up the stairs and into the bathroom.

The door locked safely behind her, she pulled the photo out of her mouth. The taste was too nasty, and the chemicals couldn't possibly be good for her. She uncrumpled it, and gave it a closer look over. She sighed, and thanked Celestia that the CMC apparently weren't capable of telling the difference between a regular snake and a one-eyed trouser snake. She examined the picture more closely. She hated to toot her own horn, but it was a pretty impressive cock. Pity that it was green, though. She felt it in her pants, slowly starting to awaken. She sighed.

"I guess I should take care of that."

Author's Note