The Contest

by Idiotcornball

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 12971

(Humanized) Rainbow Dash and Applejack had competed with each other in damn near everything. Fortunately, Twilight's recently discovered anatomy-altering spell gives them something new to compare. Something sexy.

(This story is humanized)

Upon discovering that Twilight has inadvertently created a spell that can give her a dick, Rainbow Dash demands one so that she can compare it to Applejack's and see whose is better.

Takes place in the same continuity as Something Extra and Pinkie Pie's Protuberance, but all you really need to know is that Twilight has a dick-growing spell, which she's already used on AJ and Pinkie.

Abandon all subtlety, all ye who enter here.

Published 2013-02-22 05:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-23 20:23:47 UTC

Writing the Rules

"No no no no no no no!" Twilight slammed her book shut. "I am not giving anyone else a dick! I didn't create this spell so you two could jack off all the time! I'm sick of it! Do you know how many times Pinkie came in here this week trying to convince me to give her a dick? I don't know either, but it's too many! This isn't a sex shop!"

"Oh, well, guess it ain't happenin'" Applejack shrugged and walked towards the door. "See you later, Rainbow."

"Get back here!" Rainbow Dash grabbed Applejack's arm. "What's with you? Last week you were all about seeing whose dick was better!"

"Well, yeah..." Applejack blushed. "That's the weird thing about havin' a dick. When you got one and you're usin' it to jack off or to fuck somebody it's all great, but other than that it's weird havin' one when you ain't supposed to have one. It just feels like it's not supposed to be there. Sure, when you're beatin' it you're not thinkin' about all that, but when you don't have one at all it's kinda hard to remember how it felt."

"But it does feel good when you have one, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it really kinda does."

"See! It's not fair that Applejack gets to feel that and I don't! I should at least have a chance to try having a penis!"

"No!" Twilight shouted. "I have better things to do with my time than to dick-ify all of my friends! Don't you realize how awkward this is?"

"Oh, so you'll let Applejack fuck you silly, but you won't take five minutes to give me a cock?"

Twilight's face went white. "You know about that!?" She glared at Applejack.

"I didn't tell her!" Applejack held up her hands in a gesture of supplication. "After me and Pinkie double-teamed her, we snuggled for a bit and Pinkie talks in her sleep!"

"Ugh." Twilight slumped down at the table. "Okay, fine. I'll give you a penis on the condition that you don't tell anybody about that."

"Awesome!"

Twilight stood up and glared at Rainbow Dash, speaking through gritted teeth. "Not. A. Word."

"Okay, okay! We get it!" Rainbow Dash took a step back. "Just cast the dick spell, and we'll be on our way."

Twilight's eye twitched before turning bright white with magical power. Both Applejack and Rainbow Dash felt a sudden rush in their nether regions.

"There! You two happy?!"

Rainbow Dash took a few experimental steps. "Damn, that's uncomfortable."

Applejack shook her head. "I told you to wear baggier pants." She looked at Rainbow Dash's crotch. Inexplicably, Dash had decided to wear a pair of tight athletic shorts. The brand new bulge was incredibly obvious. Even through the fabric, Applejack could tell that Dash had a tremendous set of balls that put her own to shame. Then she smirked. She could also tell regardless of the nut size, RD's dick wasn't exactly sizeable. "So, where do we wanna do this?"

"Maybe we could do it he--"

"NO." Twilight glared at Rainbow Dash

"Or we could do it at my place. Twilight, you mind casting one of those cloudwalking spells on AJ?"

"If it'll keep you two from getting spooge on my books, sure." There was a flash of light.

"Awesome, let's get to it!" Rainbow Dash grabbed Applejack and launched upward, blasting through a window towards her house.

"Dammit, Rainbow! You gotta warn me before you just drag me into the air like that!"

"Sorry." Rainbow Dash lowered AJ gently to the floor, making sure that she didn't fall right through. "Looks like we're all good."

"Well then..." Applejack took a seat on Rainbow Dash's overly puffy couch. "Let's see it."

"Hell yeah!" Rainbow Dash dropped her shorts. "What the fuck!?"

She stared. Her balls were every bit as massive as they had appeared under her shorts, so big that she had to stand slightly bow-legged to allow them to dangle. They looked pleasantly squishy, without sagging at all. The dick on the other hand, was nothing other than tiny, so small that it didn't really even get to dangle. It stuck almost straight out from her body. It had a bit of foreskin, but that too was so short that it didn't really cover anything. The head was fully exposed.

Applejack snickered. "Well, I think I win the size contest."

"This is such bullshit! I'm gonna go to Twilight and get a refund!"

"A refund for what? She did it for free."

"Look at it! It's too small! Twilight must have screwed up and put too much magic into the balls or something. She should shrink them and make my dick bigger!"

"I dunno, I kinda like it." Applejack said as she unzipped her pants and took out her own dick.

Rainbow Dash snorted. "You're just saying that because yours is bigger. Still, my nuts put yours to shame, so I guess we'll call it even."

"Why?" Applejack started to stroke her dick as she stared at Rainbow's now-naked body. "We were gonna have a dick contest, not a testicle contest. Y'all can't go changin' the rules like that!"

"Oh, come on, AJ! If you were the one stuck with the tiny cock and big balls you'd be saying the same thing." She groaned. "Dammit, this sucks. Wait a sec!" Her face lit up. "Pinkie's dick was real tiny, but when she got a boner it got even bigger that yours! Maybe if I can get a hardon it'll get bigger!"

"I wouldn't count on it," Applejack said, rolling her eyes. "My cock doesn't get all that much bigger." She nodded at her penis, which was now half-up and about the same size as it has been before she started stroking it.

"Would it kill you to be optimistic?" Rainbow Dash glared daggers at Applejack. "Now what do I have to do to get it up?"

"Just do what you normally do to get yourself hot and bothered. You know, stick a finger up your butt or whatever."

"That is not how I... you know."

"Just sayin' you seemed to enjoy it when I stuck it in your backdoor." Applejack shrugged.

"It's not like I ever made a habit of that. I never put anything up there."

"I guess that explains why it was so tight."

"It also explains why my ass was killing me for like two days after you put your dick in. No way in hell is messing with that any more gonna give me a boner. My asshole is still a bit sore."

"Fine, lemme help you out a bit." Applejack stood up and pointed at the couch. "Why don't ya sit down?"

"Uh, okay..." Rainbow Dash flopped onto the couch, spreading her legs to accommodate her massive testicles. "Now what?"

"Now, I get to have some fun." Applejack knelt down. She cupped her hands around Rainbow's nuts. They squished a bit between her fingers. They were so much softer than her own, the skin was unbelievably smooth, and inexplicably smelled a lot nicer than she'd expected anyone's crotch to smell. "I'll let you deal with the dick yourself," she said. "The balls are all mine, though." She lifted the nutsack, revealing Rainbow Dash's tight little pussy underneath it. Adorable. She stuck out her tongue and planted it just above Rainbow Dash's vagina and dragged it over her balls, licking all the way up to the penis. She flicked the tip of it with her tongue. "Come on, Rainbow. Aren't you gonna play with it?"

Rainbow Dash stared down at her. She was so shocked by Applejack's sudden interest in her crotch that she had simply been watching. "Yeah, sure." Rainbow began to gently toy with her penis, squeezing the shaft with one hand while pinching the head with her other.

"Great. I'll take care of your other bits, then," Applejack said as she lifted the balls out of the way. She smiled and ran her tongue up and down Rainbow's slit, enjoying the texture of her pussy lips. Rainbow Dash trembled as Applejack's tongue probed deeper into the folds of skin, pushing the outer lips aside, searching for the warm, moist inner lips. The juices began to flow, and Applejack lapped them up. She had never eaten out another girl before. Sure, during that one sleepover at Twilight's she and Rarity had done a bit of... experimentation, but that had never escalated past sticking in a finger or two. After that they had gotten a bit squeamish and agreed never to speak of it again. They hadn't.

Applejack had never told anyone, but upon withdrawing her finger from Rarity's... area, she had been quite nearly overcome with the urge to stick it into her mouth. She had resisted. The only thing that could possibly have made the clit-tickling more awkward would be tasting the pussy juice afterwards. She had smelled it, though. It hadn't been bad, but it wasn't particularly good either. She had heard stories of how nasty vaginas could taste, that they were bitter and stinky. Either those stories were wrong, or Rainbow Dash was an exception.

It wasn't sweet, but it certainly wasn't unpleasant. Her tongue found Rainbow Dash's clit. She treated it like a candy, rolling it with her tongue and savoring the taste. Rainbow Dash's nuts rubbed against her forehead, making her sweat. She reached down and touched her cock, slowly caressing it, giving herself as much pleasure as she could without being in danger of cumming. She wondered if Rainbow Dash felt as good as she did-

"What the fuck!?"

Applejack withdrew her head from Rainbow Dash's crotch. "What is it?"

"This!" Rainbow Dash gestured at her dick with both hands. It was... bigger than it had been. But not by a whole lot. Applejack's was bigger, even when it was limp. "How the hell am I supposed to jack off with this!?" She put her hand around her dick. The tip just barely protruded past her hand.

"Guess I really do win the size competition, then." Applejack tried not to laugh. "It's still kinda cute, though. So, do you still want to go ahead with the contest? See who can last longer?"

"Not yet."

"What do you mean, not yet?" Applejack said. "You've been pesterin' me about this all day. Don't tell me you're gonna back out now just cause your dong is a bit on the small side."

"It's not that." Rainbow Dash grinned. "You want it to be a fair competition, right?"

"Sure. If we're gonna have a cock-off, might as well make it even."

"Well, I was just thinking that you got an unfair disadvantage."

"It ain't my fault my dick is a bit bigger than yours!"

"Not that! Well, not just that." She grinned. "This is like the third or fourth time you got a dick from Twilight. You have...experience with it. I mean, you even fucked me with it! And I never got the chance to do that, cause this is just my first dick. So if we want the contest to be fair-"

"You want to put it in me, don't you?"

Rainbow Dash nodded like a bobblehead.

"Damn it, if I had known you'd wanna do that before we compare, I woulda dragged Pinkie up here. I'm sure she'd be all about the fuckin'."

"Well, Pinkie's not here, is she?" Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Come on, do you have something against being the one on the bottom once in a while? You want a fair competition, right? I should get to use my dick for something before I put it on the line. I just want one little practice fuck."

Applejack sighed. As much as she hated it admit it, Rainbow Dash had a point. If she didn't give in to the demands, any victory in the Cock-Off would be invalidated by the discrepancy in experience. Besides, she hadn't ever taken a girl's dick up her pussy. Maybe she'd like it. A real dick had to be better than a dildo, after all.

"Fine. But just this once."

"Awesome!" Rainbow Dash grinned a lusty, lascivious, bawdy, raunchy, prurient, and all-other-synonyms-for-those-words grin. Her dick seemed to get a little bit harder. "Let's get started. Get on the couch!"

Author's Note

I have no clue how RD is able to fly. Maybe she sprouts wings or something when she takes off. I dunno. It's not important.

Also bluh this chapter is horrible hopefully the next one won't suck so bad. I really need to stop doing this so late at night.

The Warm-Up

Rainbow Dash's couch would have squeaked due to the stress that it's owner's furious humping was exerting on it, but it was formed out of clouds, and as a result didn't make a sound. In fact the room was entirely silent aside from gasps, smacks, and squishes. And grunts. Rainbow Dash was a grunter. Mainly because she had to put a tremendous amount of effort into her thrusts. Her dick was so diminutive that she couldn't move her hips more than a few inches forward and back or it would pop out of Applejack's pussy. Needless to say, the sex had gotten off to a slow start. Applejack had recommended long, slow thrusts to maximize the pleasure, but it hadn't worked. Big, dramatic thrusts only worked if she managed to actually keep her dick inside. She couldn't. Rainbow Dash had moved to plan B: every time the dick popped out, thrust it right back in.

It hadn't worked.

For all her precision flying, Rainbow Dash had terrible aim. Applejack was no fan of getting jabbed in the balls every time Rainbow's cock was an inch too high. She had put up with it, though. But only until a thrust with a high degree of accidental accuracy had nearly gone straight up her peehole. Applejack was willing to experiment a bit; hell, she was letting herself get fucked by a girl with a dick. But no way in hell was she letting Dash put anything up her urethra. That was just painful. So Dash had moved on to Plan C, which was where they currently were.

Rainbow Dash's thrusts weren't really thrusts; they were so small and so fast that it was more like she was imitating a vibrator. It was almost like her crotch was a woodpecker (wait...wood...pecker...). Her tiny breasts jiggled as her whole body shook. She stopped for a minute to catch her breath. Humping so quickly was incredibly tiring. That was where the grunts came in. She started again.

She really really liked her view. Applejack was splayed back against the couch, her fingers clutching at the soft clouds. Her ample bosoms bounced beautifully. Her dick, fully erect, flopped up and down, smacking against her belly. If she looked closely, Rainbow Dash could see the precum eeking out of the hole, leaving a little wet patch just above Applejack's bellybutton. AJ's nuts hung down just to the top of her pussy, the bottom of her sack brushing against the shaft of Rainbow's dick as it went in and out of her. The look on Applejack's face told Rainbow Dash that the speed-humping was having the desired effect. Unfortunately, it was also have an unwanted secondary effect.

"Dammit, Applejack, will you keep your ass on the couch!?"

"I can't help it!" Applejack tried to shimmy back into a sitting position without interrupting the sex. The constant shaking had caused her to gradually slide down the couch. At the moment, she was slumped so far down that she was practically flat on her back, with only her head against the back of the sofa. Her behind hung over the edge of the cushions; the only thing keeping her off the floor was Rainbow Dash's grip on her legs.

"Are you sure?" Rainbow Dash said between grunts. "My arms are starting to get tired."

"Sure I'm sure. Your couch is too slippery. I couldn't stay sittin' up if I wanted to!"

Rainbow Dash slowed down just a little, enough to keep both of them horny, but not enough to potentially end things. "Fine, I guess we gotta find a new position then! Turn over!" She pulled out. "Hurry up before I lose my boner."

Applejack sat up and turned around, kneeling on the couch.

"Great!" Rainbow Dash reached down and tugged on the bottom of the couch. It slid out and the back rest flopped down, futon style. "Bend over!"

"Dash, what are you-"

Rainbow Dash put her hands on Applejack's shoulders and shoved her to her hands and knees. "Perfect! Your pussy is right at dick height for me!" She stuck it back in and began humping.

"Doggy style! Neat!"

The fucking stopped dead. Both Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at the window. Pinkie was hovering just outside, riding her pedal-powered whirligig.

"Pinkie, what the hell are you doing!?" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Well, I was coming up here because my order of itching powder just came in to the joke shop and I was wondering if you wanted to go put some in Rarity's lingerie drawer, but this is so much better!"

"Why the hell couldn't you just come to the front door like a normal person!?" Rainbow Dash's eye twitched. "You can't just stick your head in the window like that! What if I was naked or something?"

"Um, I wouldn't think you'd care?" Pinkie scratched her head. "I mean, we just had sex like a week ago. After that would seeing you in your birthday suit really be such a big deal?"

"Well, okay, but what if I was...uh..."

"Having sex?" Applejack said. "Cause that's kinda what you were doin', and you don't really seem to care that much, given that you've still got your dick in me."

"Yeah!" Pinkie chirped. "Besides, I've already walked in on you masturbating to Daring Do porn before like half a dozen times. Unless it turns out that you have like a poop fetish or something, I don't know what you'd be so worked up about."

"Okay, I get it." Rainbow Dash glared at her. "I'm kinda busy now. I'm obviously not gonna go mess with the itching powder now. Can you come back later?"

"Mmmmmmmaybe..."

"What do you mean, maybe?"

"Can I join in?"

"What!?" Rainbow Dash's eye twitched. "Forget it! It's my turn to do the fucking! I'm not letting you bang me now!"

"And you sure as hell aren't puttin' anything in my other holes!" Applejack added.

"I wasn't going to do that!" Pinkie said. "I don't even have a dick now! See?" She flipped up her skirt, revealing a lack of underwear as well as her fat, squishy pussy lips, which were just barely visible behind a bright pink tuft of hair.

"Pinkie, are you an idiot?" Applejack yelled. "You're wearin' a skirt on a flyin' machine! The whole town is gonna be able to see your cooter!"

"Oh, right." Pinkie didn't seem the least bit embarrassed. "Guess that explains why there are a bunch of guys under your house starin' at me." She paused for a moment. "So can I come in?"

"How? You'll fall right through the floor!"

"No I won't. Twilight cast that cloudwalking spell on me!"

Rainbow Dash groaned. "She knew we were gonna be up here and she still put that spell on you? She must be messing with us."

"So can I come in? I promise I won't stick anything in either of you?"

"Fine!" Rainbow Dash sighed. "Get in here."

"Awesome!" Pinkie leaped off the whirligig, which immediately folded in on itself into a small box. She landed on the rug and tore off her clothes. "This is gonna be fun! I should've brought my whipped cream!"

"Oh, you'll get more than enough cream in a just a minute here," Rainbow Dash said.

"Dash, that was terrible!" Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, they can't all be winners."

"If it were Pinkie I'd expect that sort of thing."

"Yeah, that does sound like something I'd say. If I had a dick at least. Too bad I don't have one at the moment. I should have made a joke like that back when I still had it."

"Okay, whatever." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "Will you just start doing something already? Preferably something that doesn't make my butthole any more sore than Applejack left it?"

"Sure thing!" Pinkie dropped to her knees just behind Rainbow Dash. She reached through her legs and grabbed Applejack's penis, which had been flopped around beneath her as Rainbow Dash thrust into her. Pinkie began to tug straight down on it. "It's like milking a cow!" she said with a giggle. "Except instead of a cow it's Applejack, and instead of an udder it's a dick, and instead of milk it's cum! I wonder if I could make a cake out of cum. Although you'd need a lot of cum to make a cake though and I doubt it would taste very good because it's so salty, but then again salt and chocolate go really well together so maybe we could make-"

"Will, you shut up!?" Rainbow Dash barked. "It's tiring enough humping this hard without having to listen to you talk about that."

Pinkie continued to milk Applejack's cock, watching the precum drip out of it. Contorting herself, she slid in between Dash's legs, and laid her head back on the edge of the couch. She reached up and around Applejack's waist, pulling her down slightly. She opened her mouth, letting the head of Applejack's penis slid into it. She sucked it like a lollipop.

Applejack gasped. "Pinkie, if you keep that up, I'm gonna cum!"

"Great!" Rainbow Dash said. "I'm just about to come too! Get her there, Pinkie!"

"MMMH!" Pinkie said. She sucked harder, her tongue massaging Applejack's head. One hand played with AJ's balls, and the other stroked the shaft of her cock. Pinkie could feel Applejack's entire body shaking with the force of Rainbow Dash's fucking.

"I-I...I'm comin'!"

"MMMMPPH!" Pinkie squealed as Applejack's dick pumped cum into her mouth. There was enough that it spilled through Pinkie's lips and dribbled down her chin.

"Aw yeah!" Rainbow Dash slapped Applejack's ass. She could feel AJ's pussy suddenly squeezing her dick even tighter. It was time. "FUCK YEAH!"

Her knees buckled as she came and she had to grab onto Applejack to keep herself on her feet. A torrent of wetness gushed from her crotch, soaking Pinkie's chest. But Dash didn't even notice that. At the moment, she was all about the dick. She could feel it about to erupt. It did. She could feel the cum shooting out of her, streaming into Applejack's pussy. The first shot subsided, and almost immediately the second wave hit. Her dick twitched, yet more cum pouring from it. Then it spurted even more.

"Rainbow Dash!" Applejack gasped, recovering from her own orgasm. "Pull out!"

Rainbow Dash's cock kept cumming, shoving more and more semen into Applejack. Pinkie popped Applejack's dick out of her mouth and slid out from under her. Even though she couldn't see Applejack's face, she could tell that her pleasure was only one more cumshot from turning to pain. She threw her arms around Rainbow Dash's torso (her hands groping Dash's breasts, of course), and pulled her backward. Rainbow's penis popped out of Applejack, still shooting massive loads everywhere. Dash's legs collapsed under her, throwing her full weight onto Pinkie. Pinkie stumbled backwards, and went down to her knees, letting Dash lean against her as she finished blowing her load. Pinkie couldn't help but stare at the quantity that Dash had spilled; even now her dick was still spurting, albeit less and less. Dash sighed as the final shivers of her orgasm subsided. As she finally was still, the last bit of cum oozed out of her cock.

"Wow." Pinkie wasn't at a loss for words often, but this was definitely one of those times. Rainbow Dash was flopped limply against her, breathing heavily, her tongue hanging out and her head resting on Pinkie's breasts. The expression on her face made it pretty clear that she was completely out of it. "That was fun!"

"Ughh..." Applejack groaned as she slowly clamored off of the couch. She turned to face Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, her face a mixture of bliss and discomfort. She put a hand to her abdomen, just above where her dick stuck out. "Oh man, I think I got pretty much stuffed there..." She slid one hand under her balls and lifted them out of the way. With her other hand, she put two fingers into her pussy. She squatted, and opened her fingers. A massive load of Rainbow Dash's cum poured out of her, landing on the floor with a splat. She sighed in relief. "That feels so much better."

"I guess I win the quantity competition." Rainbow Dash mumbled.

"Okay, fine, I'll give you that."

"So what's the next competition?" Pinkie chirped. "Can I be the referee? Are you going to see whose boner can lift more weight? Or who can tow more apple carts using only your dick? Or use your cock to see who can break more bricks?"

"No!" Applejack shook her head. "Just...no. Hell no, even. I'm not usin' my cock to tow anything."

"I know, you could both fuck me and I could choose who was better! Although you'd have to wait a bit in between so I'd be able to give a fair comparison."

"I dunno." Rainbow Dash muttered. "Right now I think we both gotta recharge our dicks a bit before we go doin' anything else. You got any idea what we could do while we wait?"

Pinkie grinned, cum and squirt glistening on her cheeks. "Oh, I have all kinds of ideas!"

Author's Note

Apparently there's a guy somewhere who can apparently use his dong to tow cars and stuff. I have no idea why you'd do that. I can think of a lot better things to do with it.

Anyway, yeah, RD totally has an enormous stash of Daring Do porn I mean come on you already knew that. She's probably even written erotic fanfic about her. No idea whether Dash's Daring Do porn gives Daring a penis, though.

And yes, I'm aware you probably all saw Dash having having a freaking huge load coming (lol) as soon as I mentioned the big balls. Eh, I'm too lazy to make it more of a twist.

And no, Dash does not have a poop fetish. Yuk.

Delay of Game

Applejack was blushing profusely. Rainbow Dash could barely keep herself from giggling. AJ's face looked like one of her apples. Specifically the red ones. Rainbow Dash didn't know what she was so embarrassed about. It couldn't be the fact that she was naked. They all were. It couldn't be the fact that Rainbow Dash and Pinkie were both staring at her dick. They were pretty familiar with it by how. Besides, Applejack's cock was big enough that she had no reason to be embarrassed about it. No, she had to be embarrassed about something else. Maybe she was a bit mortified about how long it was taking her to recharge after she had cum. Or maybe it was the fact that Pinkie had come up with what was easily the the most childish way of killing time while they waited for their dicks to recover. A puppet show.

"And then Mr. Snake said, 'I'm getting fat! I should do some aerobics!' So then he did!" Pinkie began to hum what she believed to be workout music, and tugged on a string.

On the other end of the string was Applejack's penis. It was painted green with some face paint that Pinkie had inexplicably had on her, and the tip was adorned with a pair of plastic googly eyes that Pinkie had also inexplicably had on her. The dick swung back and forth in rhythm with Pinkie's humming. Applejack put her hands over her face. Rainbow Dash couldn't hold in her amusement any more.

"Bwahahahaha!" She pointed at Applejack's cock. "That's the best thing I've ever seen! Forget having sex! We should just have dickpuppet shows instead!"

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Applejack glared at her. "This is probably the dumbest thing I've ever done! And I let you fuck me, so you know this must be pretty stupid to be worse than that."

"It's not that bad." Rainbow Dash said with a giggle. "Yeah, it's a little goofy, but-"

"A little goofy? My dick is painted GREEN and has googly eyes on it. This is just stupid."

"Maybe it is, but that doesn't mean it isn't funny as hell, though."

Applejack snorted. "We'll see how much you like it when she's jerking around your cock on a string."

"That's right, we have to come up with a role for Rainbow's penis!" Pinkie said with a gasp. "Hmmm..." She knelt down so RD's dick was on eye level. "This could be tough. Your dick is long enough that it was super obvious that it needed to be like a snake or a giraffe or something long like that. Rainbow Dash's thingy is really stubby, though."

"Thanks for reminding me." Rainbow Dash's smile turned into a frown.

"You're welcome!" Pinkie said. "Let's see, your dick kinda sticks out, so maybe it could be like a nose or something. Not sure what your balls would be, though. They're to big to just ignore. Oooh! Maybe we could cover your nutsack with glitter and use it as a disco ball for Mr. Snake to dance to!"

"Oh, hell no." Dash grumbled.

"Come on, Dash. Even if we glitzed it all up, your cock wouldn't look half as dumb as mine does right now."

As if on cue, Pinkie tugged the string, causing AJ's dick to jump.

"Maybe we could make it into a frog. Your balls could be that balloony thing on it's throat that it ribbits with." She crouched down and examined Rainbow Dash's tiny penis. "Although I don't know what we'd do with the dick, though. It's so tiny!" She flicked it with her finger. "Maybe it could be the frog's nose! Frogs have noses, right?"

"Uh, I don't think they do."

"Phooey," Pinkie snorted. "Maybe I should run to Twilight's and get one of her animal encyclopedias so I could get some ideas."

"I don't think that's necessary," Applejack said. "Much as I'd like to see Dash's cock dressed up like a glowworm or whatever, It's just about--"

"That's perfect!" Pinkie gasped. "I worm, duh! I even have some glow in the dark stuff in here. I mean, it's technically facepaint, but I'm pretty sure it works on dicks too. It sure worked on yours. Just let me get-"

"Like I was saying," Applejack interrupted. "I don't think you'll have to. I don't know about Dash, but I'm pretty sure my dick is just about ready to go. Then again, Dash had so much spooge that it might take her a bit longer to refill."

"Nah, I'm good." Rainbow Dash patted her nutsack. It certainly felt full.

"Does this mean it's time to start the competition!?" Pinkie squealed.

"I guess so." Applejack shook her head. She plucked the googly eyes off of her penis and tossed them over her shoulder. "But first I gotta get all this crap off of my cock. I might know dick-all about fashion, but I don't really think that green suits me." She pinched the string and tugged gently on it. "Gotta get this damn thing off, too. It's not all that comfortable. If you had tied it any tighter, the tip of my dick would have fallen off." She fumbled with the knot. "Holy crow, Pinkie, what the hell kinda knot is this? I'm pretty sure a string can't even do this stuff."

"Let me see it." Dash hunched over Applejack's penis. "I got smaller fingers than those big old sausage things you got on your hands." She worked at the knot for a moment. "You weren't kidding. It's like the string is fused together. There's no way I can untie that."

"Well, obviously!" Pinkie shook her head as if Dash had just told her that the sky is blue. "That's my super-ultra-mega-uberknot! No one can untie it, not even me!"

"Why would you put your super-mega-whatsit-knot on my cock!?" A vein on Applejack's forehead bulged.

Pinkie shrugged. "I don't know how to tie any other knots. Oh, I know! I'll go get a scissors!" She turned and made a beeline out of the room.

As she proceeded, Rainbow Dash noticed two things. First, that Pinkie's boobs were bouncing in a downright hypnotic fashion. The realization both gave her a semi-chub and distracted her from the second realization. The second realization being that Pinkie still had the other end of the string clenched tightly in her fist as she scurried out of the room.

"Pinkie, wait!" she called after her.

It was too late. Applejack noticed the imminent disaster just in time for all the blood to drain out of her face, but not quickly enough to do anything about it. Half a second later she inhaled sharply and collapsed.

"Huh?" Pinkie stopped, and looked at Applejack, who was curled into a fetal position. Then she looked down at the string in her hand, then back at Applejack. "Oops."

"Motherfucker!" Applejack gasped, and pounded her fist on the floor. "Dammit, Pinkie! If I survive this, you're never touching my penis ever again!" She groaned. "Shit, is that painful."

"Sorry..." Pinkie laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of her head. "Did I at least get the string off?"

"Nope, it's still on there," Rainbow Dash said, peeking through Applejack's fingers, which were clutching her twig-and-berries tightly.

"Well crap." Pinkie sighed. "Guess I still need to get that scissors."

"DROP THE DAMN STRING THIS TIME!" Applejack growled.

"Yeah....I think you should probably lose this." Rainbow Dash snatched the string out of Pinkie's hand and tossed it to the floor.

"Alrighty! Where do you keep the scissors, Dashie?"

"They're in my study, in the second drawer on the left."

"Okie dokie lokie!" She scurried off.

"Since when do you have a study?" Applejack stared up at Rainbow Dash. "Isn't that a bit of an... egghead thing to have?"

"It's really just an extra room. I gotta write my Daring Do fanfic somewhere."

"Daring Do fanfic, huh? I bet that's-AHHHHHHH!!!" She clutched at her cock once again. The string was inexplicably taut. Rainbow Dash's eyes followed the string from AJ's cock to the other end, which was tangled around Pinkie's foot.

"Sorry!" Pinkie kicked the string off of her foot and scurried out of the room.

"Dash..." Applejack grunted in the voice of a dying person.

"Yeah?"

"You're good at pranks, right?"

"Um, I'm pretty good."

"You gotta help me come up with one hell of a doozy for Pinkie, because no way in hell am I not getting my revenge for this."

"Believe me, I've got some ideas. We'll figure something out."

"I'm back!" Pinkie announced as she burst through the doorway, scissors held aloft like an Olympic torch.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to run with scissors?" Applejack snorted. "You might hurt somebody. Especially if you're naked."

"At least I'm not holding the blade out." She held up the scissors, the closed blades clenched in her fist. "Now let me see your dick so we can get that string off!"

"Hell no! There's no way I'm lettin' you anywhere near my cock with a sharp object. Give me the scissors." She snatched them out of Pinkie's hands. "Now stay back, I ain't riskin' one of you bumpin' me while I'm gettin' this string off. Dash, can you keep Pinkie outta my way?"

Dash nodded, stepped behind Pinkie, and clamped her arms around Pinkie's chest. She paused for a moment to squeeze Pinkie's ample boobs. Pinkie giggled.

"Dash, your boner is poking my butt!"

Applejack shook her head. At least they were distracted. Before Pinkie had the time to interfere again, she gingerly clipped the string that was bound around her cock. She carefully placed the scissors on an end table in the corner of the room. It wasn't something she wanted around while everyone was naked. "Alright, got it off. Can you give me a rag or somethin' so I can get this paint off my penis?"

"There are some rags in the drawer under the sink in the bathroom," Rainbow Dash said. She still had her arms around Pinkie, even though there was no longer any real reason. Unless her reason was boobs. It was. She was rather energetically fondling them, while Pinkie enjoyed every moment of it. Applejack shook her head and went into the bathroom.

"So what's the first competition gonna be?" Pinkie asked. "Can I be the referee?"

"Uh....I don't know," Dash mumbled. "I was thinking we might have like a jack-off contest. You don't mind if we stare at you while we do that, do you?"

"Nope! You can't touch, though."

"Why not? We were just fucking like a week before."

"Well, it has to be fair, and it's not like you both can feel me up at the same time. I guess you could take turns, but it would still throw of your rhythm."

"My rhythm?" Rainbow Dash released her.

"Yeah, your rhythm!" Pinkie started bouncing. Rainbow Dash's attention immediately focused on her boobs. "Doesn't everybody have a rhythm when you're cleaning the bean?"

"Cleaning...the bean?"

"Yeah! You know, diddlin' your skittle, slammin' the clam, doin' the two-finger tango, tickling the taco, giving yourself a-"

"I get it." Dash immediately started trying to forget Pinkie's bizarre euphemisms. "What's this rhythm thing?"

"Well, when I'm goin' at it, I get into this rhythm with my dildo, doin' this sorta buildup thing where it just feels sooooooooo good, and when somebody interrupts it it takes forever to get going again. Like I remember this one time, I had just gotten this new vibrator with a pulsating tip, and I had spent like an hour building myself to have a really really amazing orgasm, but then like thirty seconds before I hit it, Mrs. Cake stuck her head in my room because she needed help with a brownie order." She sighed. "Totally lost it. If you and Applejack had to take turns, you'd mess up your rhythms and it would take too long. Or at least I think it would work the same way for dicks that it does for hoo-haas."

Rainbow Dash blinked. "An hour?"

"Yup. Wait. Is the contest going to be who can jack off faster, or who can keep it up longer?"

"Uh, I don't know..." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "Wait wait wait. We're getting off track here. Couldn't we just like each feel up one boob or something? I mean, you've got two of them."

"Well yeah, but you and AJ are both right-handed, but one of you would be on the wrong side which means you'd have to either reach across awkwardly to feel me up, or else you'd have to use your non-dominant hand to do it, and that wouldn't be fair either. Not to mention that my left boob is just an itsy-bitsy teensy-weensy bit smaller than my right one. One of you would be getting ripped off."

"So, would you just be sitting there, or would you be like, dancing or something."

"That's a good question. What if only one of you likes dancing? That wouldn't be fair either. Then again, if I just sit still, one of you might have a fetish for that-"

"You can just bounce," Rainbow Dash interrupted. "I'm pretty sure that if somebody likes boobs, making them bounces only makes it better."

"Like this!?" Pinkie started bouncing.

"Yes, like that." Rainbow Dash turned towards the bathroom. Just watching Pinkie's boobs was already making her go a bit hard. She needed Applejack to get the hell out there so they could start jacking off already. "Applejack, what is taking you so long! I'm starting to get horny!"

She put an ear to the bathroom door. She could hear the water running. She opened the door and poked her head in. Applejack was hunched over the sink, scrubbing her dick with a rather high amount of vigor. For a moment Dash thought that she was rubbing one out, but unless Applejack's O-face was the same as her "boundless rage" face, that was unlikely.

"AJ, are you alright?"

"Of course I'm not alright!" Applejack threw the rag to the floor and swiveled to face Rainbow Dash. Her dick swung back and forth, dripping soapy water onto the floor. She pointed at it. Not a bit of paint had been cleaned off. "My cock is still green!"

Author's Note

Ugh, this chapter is terrible. Since I don't have a logical excuse for why that is, I'm just going to blame this. After writing Rainbow Dash's part of the story, I've apparently stunted my ability to write not-horribly.

Hopefully the next chapter will actually not-suck.

Setup / Event 1

Pinkie stared at Applejack's cock. It was, in fact, still green. The paint hadn't even faded slightly. As a matter of fact it might have gotten a bit greener. "So your dick is green, what's the big deal? Lots of things are green! Like peas! Except peas are kinda gross. But there are other good things that are green! Like, uh... grass! You like grass. And emeralds! Ooh! Ooh!" She hopped up and down. "Or candy! Like sour apple candy! Those are great, and they taste really good! Maybe your dick tastes like sour apple candy now! I gotta check it!"

Without hesitation she dropped to her knees, shimmied up to Applejack went tongue-first at her penis. Applejack tried to jump out of the way, but she was cornered. She settled for swiveling her hips back and forth, swinging her dick out of the reach of Pinkie's tongue. Pinkie put her hands on Applejack's hips, holding her still long enough to catch the tip of Applejack's cock with her tongue. She sucked. "Pinkie, get off my cock!" Applejack twisted, popping her dick out of Pinkie's mouth. Then she swung back around, her penis whipping towards Pinkie's face like a flail.

The smack was so loud that it echoed. Pinkie staggered backwards, stunned by the force of the dick-blow. She stumbled backwards into one of Dash's footstools and teetered on the brink for a moment before tumbling over it, landing in an ignominious (although still vaguely sexy) heap on the floor. For a long moment, she remained prone.

Rainbow Dash stared at her for a moment, then at Applejack's dick, then back at Pinkie.

"Did...did you just knock Pinkie unconscious with your penis?"

Applejack shrugged. "Maybe we should check to make sure she's okay..."

"I'm just fine!" Pinkie popped right back up, none the worse for wear aside from a dick-shaped red patch on her cheek. "That was sure some slap! And your dick totally doesn't taste like candy. It tastes like paint. Bleah." She stuck her tongue out.

"Well, I coulda told you that!" Applejack scowled at Pinkie. "What the hell kind of paint did you use!? I thought it was washable!"

"I guess I must have grabbed the wrong one when I headed out this morning. Oh well." Pinkie shrugged.

"'Oh well?' You're not the one with a green penis!"

Pinkie snickered. "You said 'green penis'! That sounds so funny! Green penis green penis green penis green penis green penis green penis!"

"RGBLGFRLRRR!" Applejack's eyebrow twitched so hard it almost came off of her face.

"Relax, AJ." Rainbow Dash put her hands on Applejack's shoulders and directed her into the bathroom. "Try to look on the bright side."

"What bright side?" Applejack growled.

"Well, you should be happy that Pinkie didn't paint your face. At least if it's your dick, no one can see it as long as you have pants on."

"I guess. My dick is still green though."

"You probably just didn't clean it well enough. We'll just let Pinkie go on about dicks or whatever and I'll get that cock of yours all nice and sparkly." She shoved Applejack into the shower and turned on the water.

"Damn, that's cold!" Applejack shivered, and looked down. "Huh, so that's that's shrinkage thing that Big Macintosh was complaining about after his date with Cheerilee." She reached around Rainbow Dash's body. "Oh wow, that water almost turned you back into a girl! It's barely as big as my pinkie now!"

"Oh shut up. My nuts are still bigger than your head."

"So? Doesn't change the fact that right now your cock isn't any bigger than your clit was."

"It is so bigger than that! And your dick is green!"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Let's get it un-green. Or whatever." She examined the shelf built into the side of the shower. Rainbow Dash being Rainbow Dash, there was only one bar of soap and one bottle. "Really, Dash? 'No More Tears' shampoo? What are you, six?"

"It was on sale, okay?" Dash grabbed the bar of soap and started to lather it up. "Okay, let's get it clean." She crouched down and took hold of Applejack's dick. "I'm sure if we just scrub a bit, it'll come right off!" She started to stroke.

"Are you cleanin', or are you just givin' me a handjob?"

"Just cleaning."

"Then why am I startin' to get a boner?"

"...I'm really awesome at cleaning."

"You are not!" Applejack scowled. "You're just trying to get me to cum, so when we get around to havin' the contest you'll be able to beat me!"

"....No." Rainbow Dash's eyes darted back and forth. "You think that saliva would get the paint off?" She drew her tongue along Applejack's dick. "Bleah! Pinkie was right, that tastes awful!"

"Well, maybe you shoulda let the soap rinse off. This is dumb. That paint obviously isn't goin' anywhere." She shoved Dash's head back and stepped out of the shower, trying to think of unsexy things to get her semi-chub to go away. Things like the smell of the pig barn or that time she had walked in on Granny Smith in the bathroom.

"Okay, seriously, I'm sure I have something around that we could clean it off with. Maybe we just need to get some paint thinner or-"

"I am not dippin' my cock in paint thinner!" She sighed as she started to dry herself off. "You know what, let's just go ahead and do the damn contest already. The fact that my cock is green can't be that big of a deal."

"Fine." Dash grumbled. "What should the first event be?"

"I dunno." Applejack shrugged.

"Maybe we should ask Pinkie. I'm sure she has some ideas."

Applejack snorted. "Pinkie just about got my dick pulled right off, and got it colored green. I'm not exactly keen on takin' any advice from her."

"Well, we don't have to do what she suggests." Rainbow Dash opened the bathroom door. "We'll probably get some awesome ideas out of it."

"Fine," Applejack muttered as she walked past Dash out of the bathroom. "Let's see what she has to- what in the fuck are you doing?"

Pinkie sat in the middle of the room. Or rather, above it. She was suspended in a sort of hammock in the midst of a bizarre contraption that seemed to have been constructed from the pieces of her flying whirligig. Neither Applejack nor Rainbow Dash could see exactly how it worked, but there were two elements of it that were quite evident. First, that the motion was powered by a hand pedal that Pinkie was rapidly spinning as fast as possible, second, that the the end result of the motion was a long piston that was rapidly pounding a large dildo into Pinkie's crotch. Pinkie was gasping and squealing, and her excretions were making a right mess of the floor. At least she had the presence of mind to move the rug out of the way.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash had caught her at just the right moment. Her entire body shook with fevered energy as she turned the crank with every bit of energy she could muster. The sight was mesmerizing. Her chest swayed magnificently, and sweat streamed off her body. Her skin glistened. The machine glided silently, the only sound the shlicking of the dildo sliding in and out of her pussy. Dash and Applejack watched intently, standing entirely still. Except for their dicks, which slowly started to rise as Pinkie loudly approached her climax.

"Oh yeah! Right in my hoochie coochie! Slam the clam! Poke! The! PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Pinkie's toes curled in ecstasy as she came. After a long shiver, her body went slack. "Whew... that was pretty good."

"Wow." Applejack stared.

"Enjoy the show?" Pinkie asked between gasps. She noted the pair of quivering boners on her her friends. "I'll take those as a 'yes'."

"W-where the hell did you get that machine from?"

"Oh, this is my multi-purpose thingamabob! I designed it so that it can use it for all sorts of stuff. Like flying, or powering the time machine! This mode is called the Pussy Pounder!"

"Time machine?" Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, I mean the taffy machine. Yeah, that."

"Ya know, I should be surprised but, I'm really not." Applejack shook her head. "What a ridiculous contraption."

"Oooh! You know what would be really awesome?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"What?" Applejack didn't even try to sound enthusiastic.

"Maybe we could set up that contraption as part of the contest! Like we could each get on there and see who cums first!"

Applejack eyed the machine. "Who cums first, huh? I thought we were gonna test our stamina; who can last longer."

"We can do that later. Right now, I just wanna cum."

"Who's going first?" Pinkie asked. "I have to re-calibrate the seat so it's in the right position."

"Flip a coin, I guess." Applejack sighed. With each passing moment this whole idea felt like more and more of a terrible idea. Last time Rainbow Dash had challenged her to a contest, it hadn't ended well. At least she'd get some carnal pleasure out of it.

Pinkie produced a chocolate coin from... somewhere on her naked body. "Who's calling it?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Dash."

Pinkie flicked the coin into the air. "Call it!"

"Heads, obviously!"

The coin landed. Pinkie bent down to look at it. "It's tails!"

"Damn it." Rainbow Dash snorted.

Applejack stared at the coin for a moment. "So, uh, does that mean I go first, or I get to choose, or what?"

"What, you don't want to go first?" Rainbow Dash winked at her.

"Yeah, don't you want to try it out?"

Applejack continued to stare at Pinkie Pie's Pussy Pounder. With each passing moment it looked less like a masturbation aid and more like some sort of torture device. "Rainbow Dash can go first."

"Sweet!" She strode forward. "Let's get this show on the road!" She hopped into the hammock. It flipped over and dumped her onto the floor.

Pinkie giggled. "You have to be more careful than that when you get in."

"Yeah yeah, I get it," Rainbow Dash grumbled as she clamored back into the seat. She spread her legs. "Alright, I'm ready to go!"

"Alright, let's just lube this up..." Pinkie poured some onto the dildo, which was naturally a bright pink. "And let's get it into position." She slid the dildo slowly towards Rainbow's pussy. Dash took a deep breath and lifted her balls out of the way. The tip of the dildo pressed against the lips of her vagina for a moment before sliding in. "Okay," Pinkie said. "You got the stopwatch ready, Applejack?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, Dash, Ready..."

Dash put her hands on the crank.

"Set..."

Rainbow Dash tensed up.

"GO!"

Rainbow Dash began to flail, turning the crank as fast as she possible could. The dildo dove into her vagina, squishing as it thrust in, so fast that it felt like she was being fucked by a jackhammer. Her balls hung low enough that the top of the dildo rubbed against them. That alone would have been enough to make her cum. She wished that she had an extra pair of hands so that she could massage them even more while she powered the machine. She imagined cradling her nutsack in her hands, fondling it, squeezing. Gently, of course. Just that thought alone made her harder. And the enormous hunk of rubber that the machine shoved between her thighs only multiplied the pleasure. It coursed through her with each heartbeat, gradually tightening something within her.

"One minute." Applejack looked up from the watch. It was almost a pity that Rainbow Dash was going so fast, Applejack could have watched it all day. The way Dash's tiny breasts jiggled, and the way her balls bounced, and the way her tiny erection swung up and down... Applejack had to fight to keep her dick down. She imagined Granny Smith's head on Rainbow Dash's body. That helped a lot.

Rainbow Dash's breathing grew more ragged, and her movement grew less smooth, as if she was losing control of her body. She gritted her teeth.

"Two minutes."

Dash trembled. Her body felt like a spring that was being wound tighter and tighter with each turn of the crank. Her dick pulsed. She felt as if it was about to explode. Then it did.

"AAHHHHH!" A veritable fountain of cum erupted from her cock, splattering her chest and face. Applejack and Pinkie stared on as sperm continued to pump out of Rainbow Dash's penis, each spurt lessening slightly in power. Wetness spurted from around the dildo, pooling beneath her. A blissful shutter overcame her body, so powerful that it rocked her out of the hammock. She landed on the floor with a thud and lay there for a long moment, waiting for the last few drops of cum to dribble out of her cock. "Wow. I gotta get one of those."

"Two minutes, twenty-three seconds," Applejack said. She stared at Rainbow Dash. Even with that massive nutsack, it was hard to believe that Dash could possibly have cum so much.

"A new record!" Pinkie declared, thrusting her fist in the air. "My old record was four minutes and fifteen seconds!"

"You time yourself?" Applejack asked.

"Sometimes."

Applejack opened her mouth to respond, and thought better of it. She didn't really want to know.

"Whoa..." Rainbow Dash started to get to her feet. Her knees buckled and she tumbled to the floor. Applejack sighed and put her hands under Dash's arms, helping her up. Stringy gobs of ejaculate hung off of her as she stood. "That was crazy! Let's see you beat that!"

"Yeah, it's your turn now, Applejack!" Pinkie clapped.

"Ugh, I guess it is..." She sighed. As horny as watching Dash had gotten her, she wasn't sure that she trusted Pinkie's contraption. Moreso now that it was covered in Rainbow Dash's... various excretions. "Could we, like, clean it off first?"

"I cannot believe I am sitting in this damn contraption."

"Just relax, AJ," Rainbow Dash said as she watched Pinkie finish her adjustments. "It looks really... intimidating, but trust me, it feels awesome."

"It's not just that!" Applejack grumbled. "I can't believe I actually agreed to have this stupid contest! I ain't a freaking sex addict like you two! Did you know that before this whole dick thing I only masturbated like three or four times a week? Now you guys have got me havin' sex with you, and beatin' off like five times a day!"

"Five times, huh?" Pinkie asked. "My record for one day is nine!"

"Nine!?" Rainbow Dash stared at her. "How the hell do you find the time for that?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Cake went out of town."

"Whatever," Applejack grunted. "This stupid dick is makin' me crazy."

Rainbow Dash patted her on the shoulder. "Just roll with it, AJ. You got a dick. Might as well make the most of it." She dangled the stopwatch in front of Applejack's face. "Your time to beat is two minutes, twenty-three seconds. I doubt you can beat it. That big old sausage you got is all for show, isn't it?"

"My big ol' sausage fucked you well enough." She grabbed the handles. "Just watch."

"Alright, Applejack," Pinkie said. "Ready, set, go!"

Applejack started to turn the crank. Her expression almost immediately shifted from sharp determination to ecstasy.

"Told you you'd like it," Dash snorted.

Applejack didn't answer; she was too preoccupied. Rainbow Dash smiled. For two reasons. First, because she got the pleasure of watching Applejack's cock as it rapidly hardened and expanded. Applejack's boobs were also bouncing rather nicely. If not for the fact that Applejack would totally bonk her on the head for it, she'd have crammed her head between them. Second, Applejack was obviously no longer concerned with winning the contest; she was looking to enjoy herself. The only way she would win was if Dash leaned in and started blowing her. Not that Dash wasn't tempted to do so, but she could wait until later for that.

"Two minutes!" Dash shouted.

"Really? Damn." Applejack doubled her efforts. Her dick flopped back and forth, smacking against her stomach. Dash felt a pang of jealousy, wishing that her dick was long enough to do that.

"Go, Applejack, Go!" Pinkie cheered. "You can do it! Go! Go! Go!"

Dash could see Applejack approaching her climax. Each time the dildo slipped in and out of Applejack, it brought her one step closer to orgasm.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Applejack swayed her hips, grinding the dildo against her insides. "YEESSSS!" Blobs of cum spurted from her dick, splatting across her breasts.

"Not bad," Pinkie said. It was quite a decent load, but compared to Rainbow Dash's it seemed rather scant. "Rainbow Dash wins the volume contest, though."

"Oh shut up." Applejack grumbled. She lay back in the seat, breathing heavily. "Okay, I'll give it to you, that felt pretty good. What was my time?"

"Three minutes and seven seconds," Dash answered.

"RAINBOW DASH WINS THE FIRST EVENT!" Pinkie Pie swung around to face a large scoreboard that hadn't been there moments earlier. She put a large star next to Rainbow Dash's name. "What's the next event gonna be?"

"I dunno." Applejack shrugged. "We got some time to kill before we're gonna be up to comin' again." She swung her legs out of the contraption. "While we wait, maybe we couldAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Applejack's scream cut off as she vanished through the floor.

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie stared at the small hole in the cloud she had left behind.

Rainbow Dash put a hand to her forehead. "Oh fuck."

"It's okay, Dash," Pinkie said. "Your house is floating over a lake. She'll be fine."

Author's Note

[url=youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8DoARSlv-HU]Shrinkage.

Ugh, this chapter isn't that great either. Hopefully the twist at the end saved it a little. I actually have a much better idea for the followup after this story; gotta admit that this one was kinda ill-conceived. Oh well, it's still got Applejack and Rainbow Dash with dicks. That's got to count for something.

Called Off

Luckily enough, Applejack simply didn't have the time to be scared of the sudden fall. By time her brain had processed the fact that she was falling, she had already landed with a splash. Two thoughts meandered through her head: Thank Celestia I landed in water and I am gonna kick somebody's ass for this. She floated to the surface, bobbing like a cork. The water actually felt quite nice. It was pleasantly warm, and the shade from Rainbow Dash's cloud house meant that the afternoon sun wasn't burning through her closed eyes. For a few minutes, Applejack floated on her back, listening to the sound of the wind rustling the reeds around the edges of whatever it was she was floating in. The rustling was surprisingly loud.

Then she remembered she was naked, and that her dick and boobs were both protruding from the water. She immediately ducked under the water so that only her head was sticking out. She glanced around. She recognized her surroundings. It was the pond out behind her barn. She smiled. The other end of the water was a fairly secluded area; she could swim over there and sneak into the barn without anyone seeing her. She had plenty of old overalls and shirts in there. It would be a bit itchy, but that wasn't a big deal. She swam to the edge of the water and started to clamor out, thanking her good luck that almost no one hung around back there.

As she stepped onto the store, she shook herself off, sending water droplets everywhere. She froze as she heard a gasp.

"Applejack!"

Applejack slowly turned her head. Sitting in the sunny open space between the trees was a beach chair. Reclined on it, clad in a startlingly skimpy bikini and holding a tanning reflector, was Rarity.

"Uh... Hey, Rarity."

"Applejack, you're naked."

Applejack looked down at herself, then back at Rarity. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"And you have a... a... that." She pointed.

"Yup, I do seem to have one."

"That... hasn't always been there, has it?"

"Nope." Applejack shook her head.

"And it's green."

Applejack just nodded.

"Why is it green?"

"Would you believe me if I told you that it's Pinkie Pie's fault?"

"I...uh..." Rarity tried to think, but Applejack's penis was obviously distracting her. "Actually, yes, I think I would believe that." She set her tanning reflector aside and sat up, so quickly that her breasts bounced noticeably. Applejack began to sweat a bit as she noticed just how little fabric comprised Rarity's bikini. Rarity stretched, causing her breasts to sway. They were hardly enormous, but they were beautifully shaped and amazingly perky. "Um, Applejack?" Rarity cocked her neck.

"Yeah?"

"It's... it's moving."

"Huh?" Applejack looked down. Her penis had started to... respond to the scantness of Rarity's swimsuit. "Gah!" She clamped her hands over her cock.

"So..." Rarity blushed profusely. "...it seems you find me a bit... arousing?"

"Maybe." Applejack's face was so flushed it looked like a tomato. "It's your fault for wearin' such a damn skimpy bikini. The dick just kinda does that on its own."

"Well, yes, but... it's attached to you, is it not?"

"Yeah, it's attached."

"I don't recall you ever having one of those before. I'm quite sure I would have remembered that. Especially after that sleepover where we-"

"Yeah, yeah. I remember."

"If I may be so bold, may I ask exactly how did you obtain that... organ?"

Applejack sighed. "Why don't you take a guess?"

"Well, either you had Twilight cast a spell on you, or else your little sister went herb-gathering in the Everfree forest and happened to come up with a combo that had... adverse affects." Rarity stroked her chin. "I'm going to go with the latter; as I find it rather unlikely that you'd want Twilight to cast a spell on you that... does that." She nodded at Applejack's crotch.

"Yeah, about that..."

The blood drained out of Rarity's face. "Applejack," she gasped. "I never realized that you were into that sort of thing-"

"It's not like that!" Applejack said. "Twilight was tryin' to figure out a gender-flipping spell, and it ended up only workin' part-ways."

"Why on earth would you agree to be the test subject for such a thing!?"

"Well, she knew than you and Fluttershy would never be up for it, and she probably wouldn't want to risk doin' that stuff to Pinkie or Dash."

"So you thought you'd be a good friend and do it?"

"Pretty much."

"But why is it green? And why did you suddenly fall from the sky? And why are you naked?"

"It's a long story. I really really don't want to-"

"Hey, Applejack!" Rainbow Dash dropped out of the air, Pinkie piggyback riding her. She tossed a bundle at Applejack. "We brought your clothes!"

"Thanks." Applejack glowered at them. Nonetheless she started to pull her pants on.

"Wait, she was with you?" Rarity asked.

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash and Pinkie turned, and noticed Rarity. "Oh, hey. Yeah, AJ was hangin' with us up in my house. Guess Twilight's dick spell interfered with the cloudwalking one and made it conk out faster."

"Oh." Rarity nodded. "I guess that explains- wait a moment." She stared at Rainbow Dash. "You know about Applejack's... thing? And she was in your house? Naked? Whatever for!?"

"It was part of the contest!" Pinkie said. "I would have been part of it too, but I didn't get advance notice, so I couldn't join in!"

"Why on earth would she be naked?" Rarity scratched her head. "And it still doesn't explain why Applejack has a... third leg."

"Oh, that?" Rainbow Dash said. "I got one too." She dropped her pants. Rarity's jaw also dropped. "We thought we'd compare 'em."

Rarity turned back to Applejack "...I thought you said it was the result of a botched spell!"

"It was!" Applejack admitted. "At first, anyhow. Then Pinkie found out about--"

"I walked in on Applejack using her dick to fuck Twilight!" Pinkie interrupted.

"Dammit, Pinkie! Don't you y'all have any concept of privacy!"

Pinkie shrugged. "You were banging her right there on the library table. I thought if you wanted privacy you'd do it in her bed."

"You- you were having sex with Twilight?" Rarity could only stare.

"It was her idea!" Applejack said.

"Yeah!" Pinkie interjected. "Then I got a dick too and me and Applejack double-teamed Rainbow Dash!"

Rarity began to babble. "Y-you... did what?"

"We both fucked her at once! I started off pounding her pussy, and then when Applejack showed up and stuck her dick up Rainbow Dash's-"

"I get the picture," Rarity interrupted.

"It was in her butt."

"I said I got it!" Rarity's eyes darted back to Applejack's crotch. "However did you get it to fit?"

Applejack cracked a smile. "I managed."

"Oh, she managed alright," Rainbow Dash said with a snort. "Couldn't sit down for a day after that."

Pinkie nodded. "And after we fucked Dash in both holes, we cuddled!"

"We cuddled," Rainbow Dash said. "You fell asleep. And you snore."

"So, let me make sure I have things straight." Rarity massaged her temples. "Twilight accidentally found way to give girls penises, so you use this spell to have an orgy!?"

"Nah, not an orgy. Just a threesome," Pinkie said. "I'm pretty sure you need more than three people to have an orgy."

"You know what I mean!"

"Trust me, Rarity, I don't know what the hell I was thinkin' either. I mean, the first time I guess I was just curious, but after that I dunno." She nodded at Pinkie and Dash. "Guess it's 'cause these two idiots talked me into it."

"Come on, Applejack!" Pinkie said. "It's because it's fun to have a dick sometimes!" She turned to Rarity. "Really, it is. I'd recommend trying it at least once!"

"I-I'll keep that in mind."

"Welp, we better get back to the contest!" Rainbow Dash said. "I just beat Applejack in a masturbation contest." She turned back to Applejack. "Alright, hop on my back. We can head over to Twilight's to have her cast that cloudwalking spell again, and then we can move on to event two!"

"Hell no!" Applejack crossed her arms. "Forget it. This whole contest thing was dumb to begin with! It's been nothin' but miserable so far. First you get me to bang you, then Pinkie just about yanked my cock off and painted the damn thing green, then I got dumped in a pond! I ain't puttin' up with this bullshit anymore!"

"You're just afraid that I'll beat you again!"

"Nuh uh!" Applejack shook her head violently. "I got so much more endurance than you it ain't even funny. I just got better things to do with my time than provin' it. Besides, after fallin' through your floor, I uh... ain't exactly in the mood."

"Fine! We'll settle this later." Rainbow Dash rushed forward, grabbed the front of Applejack's pants, and shouted into them. "You hear that, Appledick!? This isn't over!"

"Um, Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie Pie tapped her on the shoulder. "It can't hear you. Dicks don't have ears."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." Dash muttered. "I guess we gotta find something else to do. Want to head back to my place?"

Pinkie Pie grinned widely and nodded.

"Then let's get going!" Rainbow Dash grabbed Pinkie and lifted her into the air. "See you later, AJ. You better train your cock for next time!" The two girls disappeared back into Dash's house.

Applejack groaned. "Sorry about that, Rarity. I didn't mean to ruin your day like that. Especially not with all that talk about dicks an fuckin' and whatnot. I'm guessin' you didn't want to hear about all that."

"Well, when I woke up this morning I certainly didn't think I'd be hearing about Twilight having a spell that she can use to cause you to grow a penis. And I could have done without hearing about your little... contest. Although I must ask what on earth caused you to actually go along with this foolishness?"

"I'm not sure myself." Applejack sighed. "I gotta be honest, havin' a dick does feel pretty good sometimes. When you get started with it, it can be tough to stop." She raised an eyebrow. "Why, you wanna try it out?"

Rarity stared at her. "Um, no. I think I'll take a pass on that."

"You sure?" Applejack unzipped her pants and let her dick flap out. She waved it back and forth. "It's not like I actually have to have sex or anythin'. You could just suck on it."

"I don't think so." Rarity shook her head. "Even if it wasn't green. The color doesn't really suit it."

"It's non-toxic. I think."

"I don't care, I am not putting that thing in any part of my body."

"Why don't you just gimme a quick handjob then."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "I think I'm beginning to understand why you were so willing to participate. That... thing is messing with your head."

"It's not that bad. Don't you ever get horny and have a tough time concentratin' until you go and uh... take care of business."

"I do have... urges on occasion, but I try to not let them control me. Now put that thing back in your pants and take care of it in the privacy of your own home."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Applejack stuffed her dick back in her pants. "See, that's what I was talkin' about. Havin' a cock is still a bit of a novelty, I guess. It's somethin' new to use when you're pleasurin' yourself. So, uh, I guess I'll get outta here and let you try to enjoy the rest of your day. I like the bikini, by the way, and that's not just my dick talkin'."

"Thanks." Rarity said, not sure what to make of the compliment. "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah. Later." Applejack turned away and jogged towards the house.

Rarity shook her head. "Giving girls penises! What on earth was Twilight thinking?" She sighed, and after a moment she looked down at her own crotch. She shook her head again and resumed her tanning position. Girls with dicks. How stupid.

Applejack entered her kitchen to find the cutie mark crusaders gathered around the table. Under normal circumstances she would groan and walk right out the door, but today they were a welcome distraction from dick-related shenanigans. She severely needed to get her mind on something else. At the moment they were messing around with a stack of polaroid photographs. She craned her neck over them.

"So what have you girls been up to all day?" She asked. "More crusadin'?"

"Today we were Cutie Mark Crusaders Cryptozoologists!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Crypowhatsis?"

"Cryptozoologists," Sweetie Belle said. "People who search for animals and creatures whose existence hasn't been proven."

"Really? You find anything?"

"Actually, we totally did!" Scootaloo said. "We think we found some sort of sea serpent living in the pond back behind your barn!"

"Well, a pond serpent, at least," Apple Bloom said. "It can't be a sea serpent if it doesn't live in the sea."

"Yeah, but 'pond serpent' doesn't sound as cool," Scootaloo said. "That's just boring."

"How do you know it wasn't just a regular old snake?" Applejack said. "I mean, sea serpents are supposed to be real big and scary. If it fits in the pond it can't be that big."

"Maybe it's just a baby," Sweetie Belle suggested.

"I know it's definitely not a snake, though. It sure doesn't look like any snake I ever saw. Not a regular one at least." Apple Bloom shuffled through the pictures. "We even got a picture of it. It's kinda blurry and dark, but it's definitely some sort of new species. It doesn't have any eyes, and it has these two weird lumps at the bottom." She shoved the picture at Applejack.

Applejack took it, and stared for a moment. Then the blood drained from her face. "W-where did you see this?"

"We were hidin' the weeds at the edge of the pond waitin' for somethin'. Then we heard a splash and went over to it and managed to get a picture of it. We would've looked closer, but we'd been sittin' there for like three hours, and Sweetie Belle had to go to the bathroom."

Scootaloo snorted. "I can't believe you couldn't hold it just five more minutes. We could've totally caught it! That would definitely have gotten us our cutie marks."

"Uh, no it wouldn't have," Applejack mumbled. "This ain't no serpent."

"Then what is it?" Apple Bloom asked.

"It's... uh... not a serpent. It's probably just a weird shaped plant or somethin'. Definitely nothin' to get excited about." She shoved the photo into her mouth. It tasted awful, but leaving the photo around was a far worse option.

"Applejack, what are you doin'!"

"Gettin' my daily dose of fiber. I gotta take care of... stuff. See you later." She all but sprinted up the stairs and into the bathroom.

The door locked safely behind her, she pulled the photo out of her mouth. The taste was too nasty, and the chemicals couldn't possibly be good for her. She uncrumpled it, and gave it a closer look over. She sighed, and thanked Celestia that the CMC apparently weren't capable of telling the difference between a regular snake and a one-eyed trouser snake. She examined the picture more closely. She hated to toot her own horn, but it was a pretty impressive cock. Pity that it was green, though. She felt it in her pants, slowly starting to awaken. She sighed.

"I guess I should take care of that."

Author's Note

Epilogue

"Are you sure that casting that cloud-walking spell on Pinkie was a good idea?" Spike asked. "You know she's probably going to go right to Rainbow Dash's house, right?"

"Serves them right," Twilight grumbled. "That's what happens when they won't leave me alone. Maybe next time they'll think twice about bothering me for penis magic."

"Is it really that big of a deal? I mean, it only takes you a few minutes to cast it."

"It's the principle of the thing, okay?" Twilight sighed and looked up from her book. "I don't want to get a reputation for casting sex magic at the drop of a hat. I might do it occasionally for them as a favor, but I don't want them making a habit out of coming to bother me every time they get horny. Which is a lot apparently. Besides, I have other stuff to work on, and I'd rather not have to worry about having everyone popping in every day to bug me about it."

"What all do we have to work on?" Spike said with a yawn. "Well, I have prepare for Celestia's visit, for one! She's going to be coming a week from today to check on my progress in magical development. And I'm already way behind. I was supposed to have a set of medical spells set up, and right now I've got nothing! If I don't have something ready for her when she gets here, she'll put me in detention for the rest of the year!"

"No, she won't." Spike rolled his eyes. "First of all, ever since you got out of grade school, Celestia doesn't even give detentions. Second, you-" He made a sudden hurking sound as his face turned a bit green. It was a telltale sign that a letter was on it's way. "Ugh..." He belched loudly and the letter fell into his hands. "I wish that wouldn't happen right after I eat," He grumbled.

"If you wouldn't eat all the time you wouldn't have that problem," Twilight said. "What's the letter say?"

Spike opened the letter and scanned it. The greenness drained out of his face, along with the rest of the color. "Uh oh."

"What?"

Spike swallowed. "Celestia is... moving up her visit."

"What?" Twilight stared at him. "When is she coming?"

Spike braced himself. "Tomorrow."

It was Twilight's turn to go pale. "Oh, shit."

Author's Note

The story continues here.