My Little Shinobi: Can You Feel the Wub?

by GespenstKAF

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Romance, Sex, Naruto, Slice of Life, Crossover, DJ P0N-3, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5742

A series of stories with the primary pairing being Naruto x Vinyl

A ninja and a DJ.
A human trained to eliminate his enemies, and a pony skilled in destroying one's hearing.
Both of them have an... interesting fashion sense.

It's like they were made for each other, isn't it?

Rated for mention of naughty bits.

Published 2013-02-14 09:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-14 09:30:01 UTC

Hurricane's Hearts and Hooves Day

Hurricane’s Hearts and Hooves Day

The early morning rays of Celestia’s Sun peeked through the opening between the curtains of a certain human’s bedroom. Groaning at the offensive light trying to blind him through his eyelids, the blond-topped head shifted until it was facing away from the window, savoring the slightly darker side of the room. Sighing contently, the human made another attempt at returning to the land of dreams.

The sound of his bedroom door slamming open and small hooves clattering against the wood floor would have none of that, though.

The human groaned again as the intruder jumped up onto his bed and began bouncing, causing the mattress to squeak loudly and irritatingly. Deciding that sleep was officially out of his grasp at the moment, he slowly rose to a seated position and yawned, “What is it, Scoot?”

The orange Pegasus filly with the purple mane and tail grinned, “It’s Hearts and Hooves Day, Naruto! Up and at ‘em!”

It took his slowly awakening brain to process what the filly had said, but when it registered, Naruto had yet another reason to groan.

Hearts and Hooves Day.

Last year had been quite the spectacle: as an attempted prank at Pinkie Pie’s annual “Hearts and Hooves Day” party, Rainbow Dash spiked the punch bowl with a vial of something she had found in Twilight’s lab in the basement of the town library. What she didn’t know was that Twilight had replicated the love “potion” that had been responsible for the holiday even existing, intending to thoroughly study the concoction and its effect on afflicted ponies.

Naruto had been running late, making sure that he had made enough clones to keep the kids occupied while the adults would be at the party. Being Naruto, he had to have all eyes on him when he made his entrance, and had decided to replicate the infamous attention-grabbing routine of his perverted mentor, Jiraiya.

Unfortunately, everypony had just taken a huge gulp of punch in a toast mere seconds before he arrived.

The series of events that occurred afterwards were never to be spoken of. Ever. The Pinkie Promise had been invoked.

Opting to push that to the furthest depths of his mind, Naruto turned his focus to the filly still grinning at him, “Scootaloo, do you have any idea how early it is?”

Her smile didn’t falter in the slightest, “Early enough for you to make us breakfast?”

He stared at her for a few seconds before flopping backwards, “There’s cereal in the cupboard.”

Before he could even close his eyes, Scootaloo began nudging his stomach with her hooves, “But daaad,” she whined, pulling the “Dad” card, “an awesome day like Hearts and Hooves Day needs an awesome breakfast!”

Naruto sighed with a smile, “Well, I certainly can’t argue against that logic, now can I?”

Scootaloo let out a cheer of victory as her father through adoption sat up, completely awake now. She hopped off the bed, “I’m gonna go set the table, okay?”

He nodded, “Sounds good. Let me throw something on and I’ll get started on breakfast.”

Within the hour, the two of them were seated at their modest kitchen table, chowing down on Naruto’s “Super Awesome Hearts and Hooves Day Breakfast”: warm and fluffy pancakes, with faces consisting of sunny-side egg eyes and hay-bacon strip moustache, ringed with various petals to look like some kind of deranged flower only Discord would come up with. Alongside that was the customary sliced Sweet Apple Acres apples and delicious milk, imported from a dairy located in Trottingham: Silky’s Day or something.

Scootaloo dug into her breakfast with gusto, while her guardian ate his at a more reserved pace. While pretty much every non-extreme-vegan human would scoff at the idea of eating petals and hay, Naruto had spent enough time in Equestria to somehow acquire a taste for the stuff. He would get strange looks whenever he ate them in front of a certain someone, but Naruto eventually learned to tune out the barely concealed coughs of having “gone native”.

Naruto scoffed inwardly: the one in question was currently in a relationship with a pony, and had the nerve to accuse him of “going native”. The bastard. Although, it did explain a few things.

“Hey, dad?”

Scootaloo’s voice broke Naruto’s train of thought, “Yeah, Scoot?”

“Do you have a special somepony to spend Hearts and Hooves Day with?”

Naruto gave his daughter a suspicious look, “No.”

The filly beamed, “Maybe if you ask--”

“If you say Rainbow Dash, you’ll be walking out of this kitchen to wash syrup out of your coat.”

Despite the humorous mental image, she frowned a bit, “Why not her?”

Naruto gained a look of faint displeasure, not wanting to make Scootaloo sad, “I told you before, kiddo: a relationship between Rainbow and I wouldn’t work. The parts of our personalities that are similar would clash, we’d drive each other to the brink of insanity, and I wouldn’t put it past her to drop me from Cloudsdale when it reached that point.” Besides, Naruto was pretty sure that a certain pink party pony presently held a torch for Rainbow Dash, and he had no intention of impeding her.

“But you could still ask--”

“Eat your breakfast, Scootaloo: you need to get to school, soon.” He stated with finality.

Frowning, Scootaloo silently returned to her meal.

Naruto sighed quietly to himself.

The resounding THWACK of hooves on wood echoed across Sweet Apple Acres as Naruto delivered a particularly strong buck to one of the seemingly countless apple trees in the orchard. Watching the red fruits of his labor plummet into the waiting bushels placed around the tree, he was well aware of the significant drop in his usual level of vigor. Coincidentally, it just happened to be occurring on Hearts and Hooves Day: Equestria’s equivalent of the highly similar romantic holiday in his own world, Valentine’s Day.

Stallions and mares all over Equestria, not just in Ponyville, would be spending this day with their very special somepony. Laughter and love would be shared, along with the customarily absurd amount of sweets.

For Naruto, however, it would be just another day. Despite himself, he sighed wearily.

This did not go unnoticed by his employer of the day.

“Now, what’s eatin’ you, Sugarcube?”

Naruto glanced at the farm pony briefly, “Nothing, AJ: just wondering how long it’ll be until I get bored and bring in the Clones.”

Applejack gave him an odd look, “Ya’ll sure sound pretty down in the dumps, even though it’s Hearts and Hooves Day today.”

The transformed Shinobi flicked a vulpine ear in irritation, “I’m very much aware of the day, AJ: Scoot woke me up early because of it.”

The orange mare trotted around him in a circle, seemingly examining him for some unseen answer, “Well, the only ponies Ah’ve ever seen anywhere near as down as you are is because they don’t ha...”

She stopped and looked him in the eyes, a curious spark in her eyes, “Ya’ll don’t have a special somepony, do ya?”

Bingo.

Naruto could barely hold back the annoyance from his friend’s needling, “As a matter of fact, AJ, I certainly do not. I didn’t have anyone back then, and I don’t have anypony now. It’s not like I’m missing out on anything, though.” He could’ve filled a jar with all the sarcasm that dripped from his mouth.

Applejack was stunned at the very un-Naruto response: rather than joke around like he would about other things, he actually seemed a might bitter about this particular subject. She immediately made to apologize, “Naruto, I--”

Naruto stepped away from her, eyes closed, “AJ, if it’s not too much trouble, can I take off early?”

Not wanting to poke the proverbial wasp’s nest any further, the Stetson-wearing mare replied, “Sure: maybe a nice quiet snooze will help you feel better.”

Turning away, he snorted almost soundlessly, “I doubt it. You have a nice day, AJ.”

“You too,” she returned softly.

Without another word, Naruto took his leave from the farm.

Unbeknownst to him, however, Applejack’s stubbornness refused to allow her to leave the matter alone, especially when it left one of her friends clearly hurting. Putting her legs to what she considered to be more important at the moment, she galloped off into Ponyville in search of her five closest friends: surely, one of them would know what to do.

Hands in his pockets, Naruto continued his silent walk down one of Ponyville’s many streets, having since shed his pony form. Ever since his true identity had been revealed on that moonlit night that seemed like an eternity ago, the ponies had continued to treat him like one of their own. Sure, things had been a bit odd at first with the presence of something that was supposed to be extinct living alongside them, but Naruto had proven once again that he could befriend pretty much anyone and anything, given enough time.

Now, everypony felt as though that Naruto had might as well have been born and raised in Ponyville. He had become that much of a staple in everypony’s lives.

Thus, it was pretty easy for them to see that something had the first human of Ponyville feeling down.

And that just wasn’t right.

When Naruto trudged past a trio of mares that readily enjoyed his company, not uttering a single word of greeting, the Earth mare with the raspberry-mane raised a foreleg and turned it toward her face so she could look at the intricate dark markings there: Naruto’s Gift, as it was affectionately called.

At the beginning, the only one who was openly interested in certain characteristics of the human (namely, the ability to walk on only two legs, as well as dexterous fingers for manipulating objects) was Lyra Heartstrings. Going on and on about how wonderful it must be to be capable of such things, more and more ponies gradually became interested as well, and talk and dreams of standing upright and hands swept across Ponyville like a wildfire.

Being the source of such talk, this obviously did not go unnoticed by Naruto, who then began working on a special project in secret.

After months of research, trial and error, and lots of caffeine, Naruto revealed the result of his work: a seal, meant to mimic the qualities of his special transformation technique, but designed to react not to Chakra, but to the magic found within the ponies.

Obviously, the notion of being transformed into something non-pony was unnerving, but Naruto had a volunteer that he knew he could always count on:

Pinkie Pie.

When offered the chance to try something new and potentially both fun and dangerous, the hyper mare nearly knocked him out when she extended her hoof for the seal to be applied.

With little more than instructions and words of encouragement, Pinkie gave one more giant grin and let loose the magic within.

A cloud of smoke, which everypony had come to associate with Naruto, obscured the pony from view. When it dispersed, however, what stood before them seemed unreal: Pinkie still had very pony-like features, her face and tail still present. However, she stood upright, her hind legs having shifted into legs similar to those of the human standing close by, though her back hooves had not been replaced with human feet, and her Cutie Mark remained visible to all. The hooves of her forelegs were gone, replaced by the hands that had captivated Lyra for years.

Also notable were the fleshy mounds that had appeared near the top of her barrel.

After a moment of stunned silence, Naruto was both surprised and filled with great joy as the ponies surrounded him, eager to receive the gift he had slaved over for months to make for them.

Rose smiled at the memory: though not everypony used Naruto’s Gift, it wasn’t uncommon to see a number of ponies going about their business on two hooves or grasping objects with new appendages. She had even seen Twilight using those hands to hold books and turn pages, rather than use her magic. And, with the new body structure, a new line of clothing was needed and nopony but Rarity could pull it off.

Naruto had done so much for Ponyville in the past few years. Now, despite the fact that she was supposed to be waiting for her Hearts and Hooves Day date along with her friends, she wanted to thank Naruto personally.

Closing her eyes, she began to focus the Earth magic within her...

“Oh! Hello, Naruto.”

...only to have her concentration broken by a refined female voice.

Glancing back to Naruto, Rose felt her eye twitch at the sight of the uniform-gray mare with light purple eyes approaching the human, a purple treble clef on her flank.

Recognizing a familiar voice and seeing the face of a good friend, Naruto found a toothy grin forming, “Hey, Tavi.”

Octavia playfully jabbed his thigh with a hoof, “Just because you are one of the three I allow to call me that doesn’t mean you get to abuse the privilege by using it all the time.”

Rubbing his thigh and trying to play off the fact that that actually kinda hurt, Naruto glanced off to the side, “Hey, since you brought that up... do you know if he’s doing anything today?”

“It’s Hearts and Hooves Day, Naruto: he and I are going to be spending the day together.”

Naruto seemed to deflate, “Oh. Alright, then.”

Seeing Naruto look unnaturally down made Octavia feel uncomfortable. Then, something within her mind clicked. Yes, that would do perfectly.

She cleared her throat, “Well, we’ll be busy, but I don’t recall Vinyl mentioning having any plans today. Maybe the two of you could get together and try another of those musical matchmaking schemes, seeing as it is a day of romance, after all.”

That got Naruto to blink in surprise, “Vinyl? Well, it has been a while since we did some good old scheming. You think she’d be up for dealing with me for the day?”

Beckoning him to follow, Octavia turned away so that he wouldn’t see the peculiar smirk on her face, “I’m positive.”

“That can’t be true. Applejack, are you absolutely sure that--?”

“He told me himself, Twi: Naruto ain’t got a special somepony.”

At Golden Oaks Library, Applejack had just finished regaling her surprising encounter with Naruto earlier to her friends, the other Elements of Harmony. The revelation that their dear friend did not have anypony to spend close times with was saddening, as well as hard to believe.

Rarity was stunned, “How can that be? How could one as goodhearted as Naruto not have a special somepony? It... It just doesn’t seem possible!”

Next to her, Fluttershy sat silently and wondering the same thing.

Pinkie Pie stomped a hoof, her near-always happy face certainly not happy at the moment, “And with today being today, of all days! Nopony should be alone on Hearts and Hooves Day! Right, Dashie?”

Rainbow Dash leaned slightly away from the pink pony leaning heavily toward her, a bit uncomfortable at the close proximity, “You got that right, Pinks. After everything he’s done, he deserves a special somepony.”

The grin returning to her face, Pinkie looked at Twilight, “Speaking of everything Naruto’s done, where’s your special somepony, Twilight?”

Twilight was doing an impressive job of looking embarrassed and surprised at the same time, “What does that have to do with--?”

Rarity scooted up next to Twilight, her eyes shining, “Oh, yes, Twilight: where is that somepony that won your heart with the help of Naruto and Vinyl Scratch?”

Twilight looked away, blushing, “S-she’s performing right now. We’ll have plenty of time to spend the day together later.” After a few seconds, she returned her gaze to her friends, “Anyway, this isn’t about me: it’s about Naruto not having his own somepony, and what we plan to do about it.”

Rarity brought a hoof to her muzzle in contemplation, “Well, there should be no problem with finding somepony who would be willing: you would not believe how many mares I’ve tailored for have expressed interest in our human friend, and that was even before receiving his Gift.”

Applejack looked at the chromatic Pegasus, “How about you, Rainbow?” She didn’t see the barely restrained look of surprise on Pinkie’s face.

Rainbow Dash waved a hoof, “Nah, I don’t think it’d work out too well. We’re too similar, ya know? We’d get on each other’s nerves, drive each other crazy, and then I’d probably end up dropping him from Cloudsdale.” Seeing the looks on her friends’ faces, she scowled, “I wouldn’t let him hit the ground, guys. Seriously.”

Twilight coughed awkwardly into a hoof, “Okay, so Rainbow’s out. Hmm, why not you, Applejack?”

Applejack’s eyes widened in surprise, “Me?”

Pinkie Pie bounced around merrily, her grin seemingly wider than ever, “That could totally work! He likes orange and his pony form is orange, you’re orange, and Scootaloo is orange! If you two fall in love and get married, you’ll be a big happy orange family!”

Applejack sputtered as she failed to fight down a blush at the implication, “Gosh darn it, Pinkie, Ah don’t like him like that!” A lie, judging by her scrunched face. She continued, “’Sides, Ah’m prob’ly not even his type.”

Fluttershy, having been silent up until now, presented an inquiry that ground their planning to a sudden halt, “Um, just what kind of girl is Naruto’s type?”

Silence reigned over the room for several moments.

Rarity brought a foreleg to her chin in thought, “Now who in Equestria could we ask about Naruto’s preferences other than Naruto himself? There has to be somepony who has known him long enough to know such information about him.”

Seconds after the question had been uttered, Twilight’s eyes lit up in realization, “I’ve got it! Follow me, girls: we’ve got someone to see!”

Naruto’s mood had brightened considerably, now that he had a good friend for company on this day.

Walking next to him, Vinyl Scratch was actively fighting the urge to squeal in delight at getting to spend the day with her human friend. Sure, Octavia had her paramour over often, but that just made Vinyl sad about the fact that she didn’t have somepony to call hers. But hopefully by the end of the day, that would no longer be the case.

Change was the name of the game today. And the name of that change was Naruto Uzumaki.

Vinyl had first met Naruto prior to the Applebuck incident, and they had gotten along swimmingly. She had been ecstatic to find someone that could party as hard as she could, and found her brand of music to be awesome. As much as she cared about Tavi, the cultured Earth Pony refused to let her mane down to that extent. Sure, she had been surprised along with just about everypony not associated with the Element bearers when Naruto was revealed to be something certainly not a pony, but she got over it near-instantaneously.

And, through their mutual love of pranks, the two of them had managed to get Tavi set up with her current beau. Now if she could get together with Naruto, the four of them could double date and stuff!

So absorbed they were with just walking together, they were surprised when they found themselves standing outside an establishment that they both frequented often in their free time. The almost neon-colored building truly stood out, even in a town like Ponyville. The sign that proclaimed the name of the establishment bore a peculiar character to the natives of Equestria, but stirred Naruto’s memories of his own world: a bull-headed creature with a humanoid torso with two muscular humanlike arms and eight octopus legs, all ten of which were clutching microphones of varying colors and designs.

Gyuki Karaoke, a karaoke box that had been set up in Ponyville in response to an increased amount of tourism. Naruto himself had actually assisted in the construction of the building, as well as the one to come up with a catchy name and sign design. Of course, he prayed to the Mother Alicorn that Killer Bee never found out about this.

Naruto looked at the Unicorn and smiled, “Up for a round? I haven’t had a chance to sing in some time.”

The house Octavia shared with her old friend from school was peaceful with the absence of her old friend. She loved Vinyl to pieces, but honestly, the mare could be so infuriating most of the time.

A hauntingly beautiful sound brought the mare’s attention back to her beloved, currently performing a private solo for her on her own cello. Even though there was only a single instrument at work, Octavia’s mind brought together other instruments to produce an orchestra that existed only for her.

The sound of hooves rapping upon the front door brought an end to the wonderful music.

Noticing the subtle put-off look on the face of her one-and-only, she rose from her spot on the loveseat, “I’ll see who it is, dear.”

Entering the hall and approaching the main entrance to the house, she silently ground her teeth as she muttered, “This had better be important.”

Nearly yanking the door open in her restrained agitation, she was quite surprised to see the bearers of the Elements of Harmony presently crowding her doorway. She blinked, unsure what to make of the sight, “Can I help you with something?”

Clearing her throat, Twilight spoke, “We need to ask something important regarding Naruto.”

After taking a few seconds for her mind to process the question, Octavia turned around and began heading back toward the den she had previously exited, “Close the door behind you, if you’d be so kind.”

The mares filed into the home, Fluttershy shutting the door as silently as she could before following her friends after the Earth pony who had invited them in. Rounding the frame of the entryway into the den, they found Octavia had returned to her spot on the loveseat, watching as her love returned her cello to its stand with the tenderness of handling a newborn foal. Satisfied, he turned to look at the group of mares, his once-cold and emotionless coal-black eyes now filled with boundless content and a small smile on his lips, “Well, well: if it isn’t Twilight and friends. How have you been?”

A reflection of that smile now graced Twilight’s face, “Hello, Sasuke. We’ve been well.”

Nodding, Sasuke Uchiha sat down next to Octavia and put a caring arm around the back of her neck, “Tavi said you wanted to ask me something about Naruto, correct?”

Clearing her throat, Twilight began the tread into potentially dangerous waters, “Yes, actually: we were wondering if you knew what Naruto looked for in a potential... well, lover.”

Despite the warmth that they still emanated, Sasuke’s eyes visibly hardened, “Is there a particular reason you want to know?”

Taking the reins with her incredible tact, Rainbow Dash kindly informed the second prominent human of Ponyville, “Well, duh! It’s Hearts and Hooves Day, and Naruto doesn’t have a special somepony!”

Sasuke blinked as Octavia chuckled at the outburst, “Ah, yes. I wouldn’t worry about that at the moment.”

“Huh?”

Sasuke was quick to retake the conversation, “There’s really no secret to what Naruto would want when it comes to having a companion. I’m sure he’s told you about his past, correct? About how he lived most of his life as just another orphan?” At their affirming nods, he continued, “Well, what everyone wants is to feel like they belong or are wanted, orphans especially so.”

He sat back with the Uchiha equivalent of a grin, “If a girl is willing to give Naruto the time of day, they’re already in the running.”

Twilight could feel her jaw hanging: there was no way the path to Naruto’s heart was that simple.

Octavia brought a hoof to her, “And, courtesy of yours truly, Vinyl has gotten a pretty decent head start.”

Applejack tilted her head in confusion, “Why’s that?”

The cultured pair before them wore identical smirks, “Because, while Naruto probably hasn’t realized it yet, the two of them are on a date this very moment.”

Rarity, already stunned from the rather anticlimactic reveal, wasn’t prepared for the idea of her uncouth sister trying to get with her friend. As such, she fainted clean away onto an already present chaise lounge.

Situated in their reserved and customized room, Naruto and Vinyl were singing one of the oldest songs known by an ancient and strong race. This song proudly declared who they were and their great contribution to the world. It was taught to them by a member of the race itself, and Celestia spoke of it with reverence.

Even though they knew that Celestia had a mischievous streak and that their teacher regarding the archaic melody wasn’t entirely right in the head, they didn’t care: the song was a hoot.

I am a Dwarf, and I’m digging a hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Digging a hole!

I am a Dwarf, and I’m digging a hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Digging a hole!

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

I am a Dwarf, and I’m digging a hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Digging a hole!

I am a Dwarf, and I’m digging a hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Digging a hole!

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

I am a Dwarf, and I’m digging a hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Digging a hole!

I am a Dwarf, and I’m Digging a hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Digging a hole!

Naruto leapt up onto the table and pumped his arms about as he swung his head up and down with reckless abandon, as Vinyl mimicked him from her spot on the couch.

I am a, I am a, I am a Dwarf! I am a, I am a, Diggy Diggy Hole!

I am a, I am a, I am a Dwarf! I am a, I am a, Diggy Diggy Hole!

Naruto flopped back down onto the couch next to a snickering Vinyl, chuckling, “Oh, man. Seriously?!”

Vinyl laughed, “This is so hilarious! Sweet Luna!”

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

Dwarf Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! Diggy Diggy Hole!

“DIGGY DIGGY HOLE!”

Then the two of them broke out into uproarious laughter.

Calming down, Naruto looked at the Unicorn beside him, “You know, Vinyl, I was sure that you’d be spending today with one of your countless fans.”

Vinyl smiled, “Well, in a way, I kind of am.”

Naruto grinned, “True.” He leaned back and rested his arms along the back of the couch, “But I’m kinda surprised: you were the last pony I’d expect to not have somepony chomping at the bit to spend Hearts and Hooves Day with.”

To his surprise, Vinyl’s cheeks gained a red tint to them, “Actually, I got so many requests to be a special somepony, but I turned them all down.”

Naruto blinked, “How come?”

Her cheeks turning even redder, she grinned, “Because I already have a guy in mind to be my special somepony.”

That got the ninja’s attention, “Really? Anypony I know?”

Vinyl’s grin turned sly as her horn lit up with magic, “I’d say you know him very well.”

Without any warning, the room was cloaked in darkness, stealing the mare from his vision.

“Vinyl?” He called out hesitantly.

A beam of light shone down from above and revealing Vinyl to him, her form altered by the power of his Gift. Like Pinkie before her, her appearance melded together human and pony into one fine package. However, Vinyl had decided to conjure up some human feminine bits to enhance her image. So surprised (and distracted) by this, Naruto’s mind barely registered that she was standing atop a large vinyl record, brought into existence by the Unicorn’s magic and glowing mutedly.

She began to pump an ivory, double quaver-noted hip to the side, and the song began.

If I, I get to know your name.

When I, can trace your private number, baby.

Still popping her hip, she brought both of her arms together to point at him with both index fingers.

All I know is that to me, you look like you’re lots of fun.

The mare spread her arms out wide, any form of shame completely nonexistent as she revealed herself to him entirely.

Open up your loving arms, I want some (want some).

I set my sights on you, and no one else will do.

Vinyl made a point of using her fingers to project an imaginary line that connected the two of them together.

And I, I’ve got to have my way now, baby.

All I know is that to me, you look like you’re lots on fun.

Open up your loving arms, watch out: here I come.

The mare dropped to her knees, and the record she was positioned upon slowly began to turn.

You Spin Me Right Round, baby, Right Round. Like a Record, baby, Right Round Round Round.

Naruto could feel the blood split between two distinct regions at either end of his body as Vinyl methodically ran one of her hands straight up the center of her torso, her forearm brushing against a clearly erect nipple and her fingers trailing a shiny substance along her belly.

You Spin Me Right Round, baby, Right Round. Like a Record, baby, Right Round Round Round.

Vinyl’s horn lit up and brought a pair of unusual constructs into existence: it was as if someone had attempted to recreate the Unicorn’s current form out of glowing wireframes. Positioned in the void on either side of Vinyl, the two wireframe ponies mirrored each other’s movements as the ivory mare continued to sing.

I, I got to be your friend now, baby.

And I would like to move in just a little bit closer.

She leaned forward from her kneeling position, placing her hands against the record and accentuating the view Naruto had of her breasts.

All I know is that to me, you look like you’re lots of fun.

Open up your loving arms, watch out: here I come.

You Spin Me Right Round, baby, Right Round. Like a Record, baby, Right Round Round Round.

You Spin Me Right Round, baby, Right Round. Like a Record, baby, Right Round Round Round.

You Spin Me Right Round, baby, Right Round. Like a Record, baby, Right Round Round Round.

You Spin Me Right Round, baby, Right Round. Like a Record, baby, Right Round Round Round.

As the wireframe mimicries of Vinyl continued to dance and sing, the original began a steady descent from her record toward the captivated human. Similar smaller records manifested beneath her hooves as her hips swayed with each step.

Within seconds, Naruto found the anthropomorphic mare standing on the couch, her legs spread to encompass his and giving him an eyeful of something he was certain he would never see with his own eyes.

I want your Love.

Vinyl knelt down so they were practically nose to nose, her hands reaching behind his neck and interlocking her slender fingers.

I want your Love.

As the final word left her lips, she leaned forward and sealed them against his.

Having immense difficulty trying to comprehend what had just occurred and what was presently happening, Naruto’s brain decided to take a quick break and went on autopilot for the time being. He felt his arms rise up and wrap themselves behind Vinyl’s back, pulling her closer to him and deepening their kiss. The Unicorn moaned pleasantly into his mouth, quite joyful of the direction they were heading in together.

Lowering her hips to sit on his lap, she jumped slightly at the sensation of something quite hard pressing back against her. Slowly breaking the kiss and noticing the thin strand of saliva that sought to keep them connected, she grinned innocently, “Did I do that?” Hearing Naruto’s near animalistic grunt of affirmation, her grin turned feral, “Well, what should I do to make up for it?”

Something within Naruto clicked, and he shouted, “MY PLACE!”

Before she could react, their surroundings had shifted: what was previously a room at Gyuki Karaoke was now most certainly Naruto’s living room. She watched as the human quickly scribbled something onto a sheet of paper, which he just as swiftly affixed to the outside of the front door.

Giggling at what she had caught a quick glimpse of on the paper, she yelped in delight when Naruto swept her off her hooves and grinned like a man possessed, “My room?”

She mirrored his grin perfectly, “Nowhere else I’d rather be!”

Scootaloo sighed as she drew closer to home: she was sure that Dad was still depressed about not having anypony to spend the day with, which meant she would have to try and find some way to cheer him up. Maybe a game of chess?

As the house’s features became more defined, she noticed something stuck on the front door. Reaching the porch, she saw that it was a folded piece of paper and carefully pulled it off of the wooden slab. When she opened it, she found herself feeling a mixture of elation, pride, and a bit disturbed:

On the paper was a drawing of a heart, and within that heart appeared to be foalishly drawn heads representing her father and the town DJ. The words “Scoot: go hang out with your friends for a few hours. Take your time getting back. ~Dad” were scratched above and below the heart in a hurry.

Stashing the note in one of the shrubs outside their home, Scootaloo turned around and calmly cantered away, quietly wishing her father and his special somepony a

Happy Hearts and Hooves Day