How To Live In Equestria

by Timey-Wimey

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Human
Length: 1724

Oh wow another HiE story. How does it feel to be the most original author to ever be born? But when a VIKING ends up in Equestria, how will she cope?

My name is Thorn Braxa. I'm a member of the Hooligan Tribe and I live on the island known as Berk. There, it snows 9 months of the year and rains the other three. All the food that grows there is tough and tasteless, the people that grow her are even worse. The only advantages are the pets. Other places have parrots and ponies. We have Dragons. My dragon is a deep red Skrill who I named Fury. She's the most loyal dragon anybody could ever ask for, I'm really lucky to have her. We were riding when we were caught in a storm and swept away. We crashed and something weird happened, the ground opened up and… swallowed us.

I'm not on Berk anymore. I'm in a strange land with brightly colored ponies who have horns and wings, not the ponies we see in the wild on Berk. They're not naturally colored and they talk of magic and mythical beasts. There's no Thor, they speak of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Their Goddesses that raise the sun and moon, the "pegasi" move the clouds and nothing moves on its own. They "wrap up" Winter and everything is controlled by these ponies. This place is perfect, no war, no fights and nothing bad happens. If any evil creatures show up, the "Elements of Harmony", six of these weird ponies, take care of them.

My name is Thorn Braxa, and I want to go home.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-13 09:00:02 UTC

We're Not On Berk Anymore

Thump

I groaned and rolled over on my wooden bed covering my ears with my pillow. "Five more minutes." Came by muffled and sleepy voice. A few creaks answered my begging before a loud roar reverberated inside my skull and I pulled myself out from beneath the slight warmth of my pillow. I glared at the ceiling with groggy and cold eyes before pulling the thin blankets off my body and getting out of bed. I moved my tangled long red hair from my green eyes, blowing away the remaining strands. There was the familiar sound of flesh hitting wood as my bare foot hit the ground. I didn't flinch when the frigid temperature of the wood creeped up my bare sole, I was used to it by now. With tired arms I rubbed my eyes and looked over at the little stool I had beside my bed, smiling when I saw that my peg hadn't been knocked over last night. I grabbed it and some rope that I had to search underneath my bed for and propped my right leg on the bed.

Well, what remained of my right leg. I'd lost my lower shin and below about a month ago. Me and Astrid had decided to play Keep Away with Hiccup's helmet. It was really fun, I got really high into the sky before it started raining. Hiccup yelled at me to come down, but since it was really loud near the clouds I didn't hear him. I held up the helmet as a sign of victory in the game, and lightning struck it. Now I'd been there when Hiccup nearly got electrocuted with the whole "Dragons are cursed by Thor" thing, but it slipped my mind I guess. Anyways, I dropped the helmet and the lightning went right after it, not breaking. I slid right off my Dragon and my right leg went right between the lightning and the helmet and got really badly burnt. I fell right into the ocean before my Dragon got me out. They had to lop off my foot because if they didn't I still wouldn't walk right, plus I was knocked out the entire time so I didn't have much say in the matter. I owe my life to my Dragon.

My Dragon! She was waiting for me outside, which she very kindly reminded me of by jumping on the roof again. I swear one day she'll just fall right through it. I secured the peg on the stump at the end of my leg and fastened it with some rope before getting out of bed and limping outside. Instantly the not-so-warm spring air wrapped around me, but I ignored it. When you've lived on Berk all your life, you know that it's gonna be cold and you toughen up to it. It never gets warm here. I looked up and saw none other than my Dragon, standing on the roof and smiling at me innocently. "Well hello there Fury. Stop looking at me like you're innocent you know that only Toothless is allowed to wake people up by jumping on their roofs." I teased, annoyance melting.

Fury was my best friend. Well, best friend who isn't a human. She's a deep red Skrill, red like blood. Happy thought, I know. She's got golden eyes, like an evil cat. It suits her very well. The girl loves mischief. She's the kind of dragon who'll jump on your roof before the sun comes up just to tell you she farted. I love her to death though. I saved her life twice when I met her and she's saved my life a couple times. She's the most loyal Dragon you could ask for, she'd rather get blasted by a Deadly Nadder than let me get a scratch from a Terrible Terror. It doesn't really help that I like to annoy others and I get hurt a lot. I've got a couple scars to prove it.

Fury just laughed at me. When she laughs, it sounds like a growl. A very weird sounding growl that seems to bounce up and down when it changes pitches. She expanded her great wings, snapping them out as if it would impress me and flapped down, landing beside me and giving me a little nuzzle. She let out a little purr-like noise and rubbed her head against my arm.

I laughed and pet her before wrapping my arms around her neck. "Hey girl." I greeted, scratching her just below the wing. She loves it when I scratch there, its her favorite spot. Sure enough, her wing slowly unfurled and stiffened and she let out a little swooning noise of pleasure, shifting from foot to foot and lifting her head, the high-pitched grumbling still vibrating inside her chest. When I stopped scratching, she lowered her head for me to climb on, which I did. I held on tightly as she flapped her great red wings and sprang off the ground, quickly gaining altitude as we climbed in the sky.

From the air, I could see the entire island of Berk. This cold, wet and sometimes miserable island was my home and I couldn't be happier. Sure we got into a lot of fights and death was an occupational hazard, but this is the way we Vikings are raised, the way we live. I like my life this way, it's never boring. I guess my peg leg proves that anything can happen, considering that I lost my foot in a game of keep away. I'm not the only one who's lost some part of their body, Gobber the Belch lost an arm and a leg to dragons, before we became all buddy-buddy with them, not that I'm complaining. Hiccup lost part of his leg because of a dragon called the Red Death, it got burned off in the fire. I remember that vividly and Gods was it scary. Not entirely because of the dragon, but seeing Hiccup fall out of the sky and into a huge rip-roaring dragon fire with Toothless trying to catch him was definitely the single most terrifying moment of my life, even more so than waking up with part of my leg replaced by a wooden peg.

But for now, I let all negative thoughts leave my mind as I hung onto Fury, feeling static crackle along Fury as we flew towards some clouds. I hadn't done this trick in ages and luckily there were some storm clouds waiting for me. There was no way I'd pass up this chance, it was time to surf lightning! I gripped Fury tightly as we dove into the clouds and I was instantly wet with moisture. Fury spread her wings and hovered as the charge grew, making my hair frizz slightly and Fury's scales to store the static. Fully charged, I directed my dragon out of the cloud and waited. There was a hiss and an explosion of light and were off, shooting across the bolt of the lightning.

I stood up on her back, holding my arms out for balance as we shot downwards. The smell of rain, static, metal and smoke-

Smoke?

I looked down and saw that my peg had caught fire and that the flames were rapidly spreading. Eyes wide I reached for Fury's horns to steer her away, but there was a loud explosion as the lightning hit the ground and dust engulfed us. I was knocked clean off of Fury's back and felt the flames snuff out from the sudden rush of dust and sand. My eyes were forced close and I fell blindly, flailing to try and find Fury. I felt a spiny tail wrap around my middle and was pulled into something warm, two scaly wings wrapping around me as we plummeted. The last thing I felt was the ground connect solidly with Fury, shaking my bones with the force of the impact. For a moment everything was still, I could feel the rising and falling of Fury's chest against my back as her wings opened, letting me see where we were.

I opened my eyes just in time to see the ground flash bright blue, open up and then we were falling into darkness. There was a flash of bright blue and then we were above a brightly colored landscape. Fury caught me in her claws and swung me up on her back before we glided towards the ground, touching down on the soft grass. I jumped off and looked around before I saw a merry little house surrounded by animals. "They must know where we are! Come on girl!" I exclaimed, walking towards the house. I looked at the little animals and my eyes went wide in confusion. They were technicolor, all of them. Unnaturally bright and clean looking. I looked down at my body and gasped, so was I! Even Fury had a bright color to her deep red scales.

I looked down to see the door was up to my waist. Maybe a short person lived here? I kneeled down and knocked three times on the wooden door, noticing that it felt like actual wood.

"Coming!" Whoever lived there had a very soft voice and obviously loved animals. I stood back as I heard clacking steps come from inside. The door opened and a few animals ran out, chittering, chirping and squeaking happily. I saw rose hair swish from inside as the figure stepped out. "Hello, how can I-" We found ourselves staring widely into each other's eyes.

She was a pony. With wings. She was also yellow and had a pink mane. Her eyes were teal. She was definitely NOT like the ponies back on Berk.

She gave a little squeak. Wait a minute here, she could talk? A talking pony! Fishlegs would never believe this. But the next thing I knew, the little thing had fainted, falling back with her legs in the air. I just blinked and took a better look at my surroundings. In the town on the distance more brightly colored specks moved to and fro. I could even see a white and purple one walking towards the house. My eyes widened and I turned to Fury, saying the only thing that came to find;

"We're not on Berk anymore."