How To Live In Equestria

by Timey-Wimey

First published

My name is Thorn Braxa. I'm a member of the Hooligan Tribe and I live on the island known as Berk. There, it snows 9 months of the year and rains the other three. All the food that grows there is tough and tasteless, the people that grow her are even worse. The only advantages are the pets. Other places have parrots and ponies. We have Dragons. My dragon is a deep red Skrill who I named Fury. She's the most loyal dragon anybody could ever ask for, I'm really lucky to have her. We were riding when we were caught in a storm and swept away. We crashed and something weird happened, the ground opened up and… swallowed us.

I'm not on Berk anymore. I'm in a strange land with brightly colored ponies who have horns and wings, not the ponies we see in the wild on Berk. They're not naturally colored and they talk of magic and mythical beasts. There's no Thor, they speak of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Their Goddesses that raise the sun and moon, the "pegasi" move the clouds and nothing moves on its own. They "wrap up" Winter and everything is controlled by these ponies. This place is perfect, no war, no fights and nothing bad happens. If any evil creatures show up, the "Elements of Harmony", six of these weird ponies, take care of them.

My name is Thorn Braxa, and I want to go home.