How Vegeta Became a Brony

Chapters

How Vegeta Became a Brony
How Piccolo Became A Brony
Fighting Tirek
Bringing Back the Dragon Ball

How Vegeta Became a Brony

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or My Little Pony

To listen to the audio book click here. : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqvPQtpOxEs
Vegeta's POV

I sat on the couch trying to hide my disgust. It was that time of the week again, movie night. Every Friday Trunks, Bulma, and I take turns picking a movie to watch. This week was Bulma's turn. She always picked the mushy gushy movies that make you want to puke by the time the opening credits come on the screen. She was taking forever to pick what movie she wanted to watch. What chick flick would it be this time, Twilight?

" This one looks cute." She said. She handed me a DVD with smiling ponies on the cover. That was when I drew the line.

" I'm not going to watch that girly trash, woman. That show is for five year old girls, not for the Prince of all Sayans." I said.

" If you don't watch it, I'm going to put a red sock in your lights laundry. Then all your little white gloves and boots will be pink." Bulma threatened. I heard a knock on the door. I'm saved. The world must have been in peril, or something. That would have been the perfect excuse of getting out of watching My Little Pony. I opened the door and looked down at Goten.

" Hey, Bulma! Can Trunks come play?" Goten asked.

" Why of course you could. Have fun you two. Stay out of trouble." Bulma said.

"Okay. See you later." Goten said.

" Darn, now he's going to miss the video." I said feigning disappointment.

" He already knows about friendship. You don't." My wife said putting the DVD in the DVD player. The theme song started to play. I gagged. Bulma's eyes were fixed on the television. At first I had no interest in it at all, but by the third episode I memorized all of the mane six's names. I could feel the theme song getting stuck in my head. The situations that the ponies went through sounded similar to what happens in real life. We were in the middle of the last episode called Fall Weather Friends and all of the sudden, Bulma paused the television. I never even saw if Rainbow Dash beat Applejack. My hands ball into clenched fists.

" What did you do that for, woman?" I asked. I mentally scolded myself for almost blowing my cover.

" I have to go to the bathroom." She said.

" The sooner you get back, the sooner we could get this crap over with." I snapped. She ignored me and shut the bathroom door behind her. It took every bit of my self control to prevent the temptation of unpausing the DVD. I looked at the clock, it was almost midnight. That was it, I was tired. I couldn't like this garbage. Twenty minutes later Bulma came out of the bathroom with her make up off and in her pajamas.

" I'm going to go to bed. We could finished this tomorrow, Honey." She said.

I climbed in the bed and stared at the ceiling for about an hour. Then I saw something bright from the corner of my eye.

" Hi, there Vegeta." A pink pony with a frizzy mane said.

" Pinkie Pie, how do you know my name?" I asked.

" I'm a figment of your imagination. I know everything you know, Silly Willy." She said jumping up and down on the mattress.

" Go back to the glue factory, stupid pony!" I say putting a pillow over my head.

" You know you want to see the end of the episode. You were having so much fun." Pinkie Pie said grinning from ear to ear. I turned around to see if Bulma was asleep. She could sleep through a heard of buffalo.

" Come on, Vegeta. It's okay to love me." Pinkie Pie said spinning around in a circle.

" I have a wife. Now leave me alone." I said.

" Fine, suit yourself. I'm going to commentate the race with Spike while you lay in your boring bed and saw boring logs. Have fun." She said disappearing.

" NO! Pinkie Pie, don't go!" I begged. The pink mare faded away into the darkness. I knew what I had to do. I had to finish the episode and then go to bed.

I went back downstairs and took the movie out of the case and into the DVD player. I watched the rest of the episode to satisfy my curiosity. The competitive nature between Rainbow Dash and Applejack reminded me of the way Kakarot and I behave. I tried to go back into my room but then Pinkie Pie appeared in front of me once more.

" You're going to bed?" She said disappointedly.

" Yes, the episodes are over so I am going to sleep." I said.

" You can always watch me and my friends on youtube on Bulma's laptop." She said blasting me in the face with her party cannon. I went inside Bulma's office typed in her password, Huggingbunnies555, and watched five more episodes. I subconsciously memorized the lyrics to the theme song. That was when I started to worry. I needed sleep. Then it would all go away.

" Goodnight, Veggie." Pinkie Pie said drifting through my window with balloons tied around her waist.

" Goodnight, Pinkie Pie." I said. I got a good night sleep dreaming about beating Kakarot with the six ponies cheering me on.

The next morning I got up and went into the shower. As I lather my hair in shampoo I hear myself humming the theme song. I cover my mouth.

" Catchy isn't it." Pinkie Pie said jumping out of the drain.

" Pinkie, get out of here! I'm naked." I said.

" Oopsie." She said flushing herself down the toilet. I turned off the water, dried myself off and put on my clothes. Then I put on a hooded cloak and stopped at the doctor's office.

" What seems to be the problem, sir?" The doctor asked.

" I am a Brony. What should I do?" I asked trying to conceal my face.

" I'm afraid there is no cure. It is getting more and more contagious day by day. The best thing you could do is embrace it." The doctor said. I punched him in the stomach as hard as I could. All these years of medical school and he can't even resolve an obsession with technicolor ponies?

"Ow." The doctor said hunching over and wincing in pain.

"Now you're the one who will need to see a doctor." I said.

"Have you considered taking anger management?" The doctor asked.

" You're worthless." I shouted.

There had to be a way to keep my mind off of these ponies. Some hard alcohol should wipe out my memory. The bar across the street would be the perfect place to unwind. Nappa is slumped up on top of a bar stool. He took another sip of his beer. I could smell the alcohol under his breath. "You don't look so good, Vegeta. A little drink might make you feel better." Nappa slurred.

"Give me the strongest alcohol you got." I said to the bar tender. She laughs.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Your body might not be able to handle it," The bar tender warned.

"What are you, my mother? I'm the prince of all sayans. I'm tough enough to handle anything." I grumbled.

"If you say so." The bar tender said pouring me a drink. I chugged it down and wiped my chin with my glove. When I moved my arm away from my face Pinkie Pie was standing right in front of me.

"Hi! Do you wanna hear a joke? Here it goes. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? Get it? Huh? Huh?" Pinkie Pie giggles.

"Where do you keep coming from!?" I yelled slamming my shot glass on the table. The shot glass shattered into tiny little pieces.

"Hey, Vegeta? Who are you talking to?" Nappa asked.

"This annoying little pink pony who keep following me everywhere I go." I replied rubbing my temples.

"Most people see pink elephants when they're drunk, not pink ponies." Nappa said hiccuping between his words.

"It's all my darn wife's fault. If that woman didn't make me watch that show I wouldn't be in this mess." I said feeling dizzy from the alcohol.

"Women are nothing but trouble,but they sure are hot." Nappa said gawking at the bar tender.

"Can I get you guys anything else?" The bar tender asked. For a couple of seconds she morphed herself into a pony. My eyes must have been playing tricks on me. There is no way a human could turn into a pony. After I ordered another drink Nappa turned into a pony too.

"Nappa! What happened to you?" I asked falling off of my stool.

"When you killed me that one time I got a nasty scar. But I think it will heal even-" Nappa said.

"Not that, you idiot! You're a unicorn!" I gasped.

"Am I a pretty unicorn?" Nappa said batting his pony eyes at me.

"No,your a bald ugly unicorn with a flipping mustache." I said.

"Hey, Lady! This guy's alcohol level is over 9,000. You better help him. And get me another drink while you're at it." Nappa said to the bar tender.

"I think you've had enough to drink for one night." The bar tender said.

"This reminds me of the time when I ate all Mrs. Cake's brownies and I got really really sick." Pinkie Pie said cheerfully.

"Go bother somepony else Pinkie Pie!" I said.

"I can't leave you alone until you learn the true meaning of friendship." Pinkie Pie said.

"You have got to be kidding me. There you go again with that friendship mumbo jumbo. Well I don't want to hear about it!" I said.

"Looks like I'm going to have to drag him out." The Bar Tender said dragging me in my own vomit across the floor.

"Get your hooves off me!" I yelled.

"I don't get paid enough to do this job." The Bar tender said throwing me out the door.

Nappa called Bulma to come pick me up. By the time I got into the car I was sobering up. Trunks and Goten were sitting in the back of the car.

"Vegeta, you had me worried sick about you. You just took off without even telling anyone. You could have been out fighting Buu and gotten yourself killed. Then I'd have to find the dragon balls to wish you back." Bulma nagged.

"It's not my fault." I said.

"Then whose is it?" Bulma asked.

"Pinkie Pie's." I said.

"Who?" Trunks asked.

"That pony from that movie last night." I said.

"Isn't that show for like five year old girls?" Trunks asked.

"Yes, son. And now it's taking over my life." I rambled incoherently.

"Jeez, what's got into him?" Goten whispered to Trunks.

"Dad, you are so weird." Trunks said.

Then I got home, Pinkie Pie was waiting at the door with her hooves behind her back. "Way to go, Pinkie. Now my son thinks I'm a freak." I growled.

" Sorry about that. I was just super excited because I bought you a present." She said.

She gave me a box of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic merchandise.
" Where did you get that from?" I asked.

" I ordered it online with your credit card when you were asleep." Pinkie Pie giggled. I take the plushies out of the box endearingly. Now I knew I had a problem. There's got to be a way to eliminate my obsession. I thought to myself. Then I tried to turn Super Sayan to toughen myself up.

" What are you doing, Vegeta? Can I try?" She said making a constipated face and yelling. "Ooh! Now your mane is all pretty and blonde." Pinkie added in her peppy voice.

"Don't call me pretty!" I growl. Then I realized there was no fighting it. I would have to hide my feelings for My Little Pony. Where could I hide all this stuff? I pondered. Then I came up with a plan.

I would put the Brony merchandise in my broken space shuttle. After I hid them all I would have to do was train with the others and I would remember how much I liked fighting more than friendship.

On my way to the Space Shuttle I spotted Kakarot and his friends training. I acted natural as I took the merchandise to the shuttle in a cardboard box. " What are you doing?" Kakarot asked.

" I'm taking this box of tools to my space shuttle to see if I could fix it." I lied still stumbling from being hung over.

" Do you need some help?" He asked.

" NO!" I yelled.

" I owe you. Trunks and Goten had so much fun at the sleep over last night." He said patting my back so hard that I fell over. The box spilled onto the grass. I frantically started putting the merchandise into the box. There was a long silence. Kakarot brought me back to my feet.

" Welcome to the herd!" He said.

" What?" I asked.

" Hey, everybody. We got ourselves another Brony friend." Kakarot said. Piccolo gasped.

" Yay!" Piccolo said referencing Fluttershy. Everybody gathered around the box of merchandise. Gohan Brohoofed me, followed by Krillen.

"Looks like things have gotten 20% cooler now that you're here." Gohan said.

"I didn't think this day would come. Maybe Oolong the pig will learn to fly." Krillen said.

" I'm adopted." Trunks said blushing with humiliation. For some odd reason, I didn't really care what my son thought of me. Maybe it wasn't so bad being a brony after all.

Author's Note

I know Vegeta would never be a brony.This is not meant to be taken seriously.It's just a silly little story I wrote.

How Piccolo Became A Brony

How Piccolo Became a Brony: A prequel to How Vegeta Became a Brony.

The fighting tournament was in just one day and none of us were prepared. We were using the same old warm ups, training methods, and stretches all week. I can do about fifty reps without even breaking a sweat. The worst part about it was when Goku would count all of his reps out loud.

"Is there anybody else getting sick of these exercises?" I asked.

"We have to keep practicing if we want to win the big tournament." Gohan said rubbing a towel on the back of his neck.

"It just doesn't seem to be as effective as it used to be." I said folding my arms.

"What's the matter? Is this training too tough for you?" Vegeta asked tauntingly.

"Actually I was looking for more of a challenge." I said. Goku and Krillin exchanged glances. Out of nowhere they howled with laughter.

"What's so funny, Kakorot? I will be the one laughing when I throw your butt out of the ring tomorrow." Vegeta said arrogantly.

"Give me a break. You're more likely to find eight Dragon Balls than win against Goku." Krillin said.

"But I thought there were only seven Dragon Balls." Vegeta said.

"Give it a minute to sink in." Gohan said. The two fools couldn't compose themselves long enough to tell us what all the laughing was about. Goku started digging through his gym bag. Krillin peeked over his shoulder and giggled. Goku hushed him.

"Here's a video that will teach you some of the hardest combat moves. Although some of these might be too tough for even you to master." Goku said. I don't enjoy being belittled. So I snatched the DVD out of his hands.

"Take it easy, Piccolo." Gohan said.

"Give me that! Unlike you I take my training very seriously. I don't want to waste any more time with you slackers." I said. For some reason that just made them laugh harder. Vegeta randomly punched Krillin in the face. Krillin doubled over in pain.

"Ow! What was that for?" Krillin moaned.

"I just got that eighth Dragon Ball joke. What do you mean by that?" Vegeta asked letting his temper get the best of him again.

"Sheesh, Vegeta. Lighten up. It was just a joke." Krillen said. As entertaining as it would have been to watch Vegeta blow a fuse, I decided that I needed to learn those secret moves for the tournament.

As soon as I got home I put the DVD in. I was preparing to push my body to the limit with a new training video. Instead, a bunch of neon horses prance across the screen. None of these brightly colored ponies looked like they landed a single punch in their entire lives. At first I thought Goku put the pony DVD in the case by mistake. It didn't take me very long to realize that it was another one of their practical jokes. But what would Goku be doing with a My Little Pony DVD. He wouldn't waste his money on a pony DVD for the soul purpose of pranking me, would he? Why would Goku enjoy something as infantile as a show with the target audience of five year old girls? I didn't really care enough to find out. I popped out the DVD and opened up the garbage can.

"You're going to throw me away?" A soft voice asked. What was that? I hope she didn't see me looking at ponies a couple of minutes ago. A pastel yellow pony with wings peeked out of her hiding spot with sad blue eyes.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm… I'm Fluttershy." The pony said hiding behind her light pink mane. I could hardly hear a word she said.

"Go back to wherever you came from!" I shout. Fluttershy squeaked. Her ears went down to the side of her head as she flew behind the couch. I couldn't believe I was talking to a horse.

"Please don't throw me away." Fluttershy said.

"Fine." I said putting the DVD back in. Her tail was sticking out from behind the couch. "You could come out now." I said.

She slowly came out and sat on the couch. "You don't seem like such a bad guy, Mr. Green Monster." Fluttershy said staring at my antennas.

"I'm not a monster. I'm a namekian." I said feeling slightly offended.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Fluttershy mumbled staring at the ground.

"Don't get too comfortable. We're only going to watch one episode." I said.

"Yay!" Fluttershy said in the most pathetic cheer I've ever heard in my life. That lasted for about five minutes. I was going to turn it off, but I lost the remote. Ok I'm lying. I didn't lose the remote. By the time the fifth episode came on Fluttershy fell asleep on my lap. That's when it hit me that there's more to life than fighting. All I ever did with my friends was train. Things were different in My Little Pony. Everypony is treated kindly no matter what they looked like. Although I wish there were other green ponies besides Granny Smith. How on earth could I have remembered her name? This pony obsession was getting out of control.

A little meditation would clear the thoughts of ponies out of my head. I'd be right back to the tough warrior I used to be in no time. I closed my eyes and tried to fill my mind with hardcore thoughts.

"Um, excuse me. Mr. Namekian?" Fluttershy asked tapping me with her hoof. She snapped me out of my meditation.

"What?!" I asked feeling disappointed that this wasn't all some kind of a dream. It was about to get a whole lot worse. Apparently while I was meditating, Fluttershy let every woodland creature and their mother into my yard. It looked just like a zoo. There were flamingos, otters, seals, and even toucans.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I was trying to meditate. My name's not Mr. Namekian. It's Piccolo." I said as a bunny hops across the floor.

" I'll call you Piccolo. If that's okay with you. I hope you don't mind my friends coming to visit at such short notice. The poor little thing broke his wing just three months ago." Fluttershy said stroking a robin with her hoof.

"I'm going to get something to eat. You better get all these vermin out of here by the time I get back. Do you hear me?" I asked slamming the door.

I stopped at a nearby restaurant that sells Eggrolls. The sayans are always talking about how good the food is here. It would be a good thing to keep my mind off of ponies. The very second I walked in the door I heard people shrieking.

"A monster!" The waitress screamed dropping a stack of plates on the ground.

"Would everypony- I mean everybody get a grip?" I ask.

"Get out of my restaurant! You're going to scare away all my costumers!" The manager said. I guess that's the thanks I get for helping Goku save the world. He's always the one getting all the credit.

"You got thrown out too, I see." The Supreme Kai said showing up out of nowhere.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"I sense that you have a very deep dark secret inside of you." The little lavender twerp said. I hate it when he tries to read my mind all the time. I just wish for one second he would mind his own business.

"Can't I have any privacy?" I asked.

"You like ponies. Am I right?" He said taking away my last shred of dignity. Now he'll go blabbing it out to the world. I might as well have kissed my masculinity goodbye with some pretty lip gloss.

"Yeah, well you wear girly earrings!" I said twitching my antenna.

"There's no need to be ashamed." The Supreme Kai said with a big smirk on his face. I clench my fist. Before I get a chance to knock his brains out he bumps my fist with his. "Brohoof!" He said.

"What the heck is that?" I asked moving my hand away.

"I suppose Fluttershy hasn't taught you as much as Zecora taught me." He said.

"Are you going to help me, or are you going to laugh at me some more?" I asked.

"Here's some Sensue Beans. You'll be needing them after the tournament tomorrow. Try to get some rest, Piccolo." He said.

The next day Goku beat Vegeta in a close match at the tournament. If Vegeta wasn't such a hot head and used some strategy he would win for once. He would stop at absolutely nothing to defeat Goku just once. Goku walked humbly out of the ring.

"Hey, Piccolo! How was the training?" Goku asked winking at Krillin. Krillin fell out of his seat from laughing so hard.

"That video was a waste of time! I'm never borrowing anything from you again." I said trying not to blow my cover. I swallowed a lump in my throat. Tienn was waiting for me at the ring. I could see Fluttershy hiding in the back of the crowd.

The referee rang the bell. He ran up and swung his foot at me. I quickly blocked it with my elbow and punched him in the jaw. Tienn flinches. Fluttershy hovers over me. Nobody else seemed to see her.

"You aughta be ashamed of yourself." Fluttershy pouted putting her hooves on her hips. She flew in between us. "That's not nice. Tell him you're sorry." Fluttershy yelled narrowing her light blue eyes at me.

"He signed a contract saying he was willing to get maimed for these peoples' entertainment. Besides, he tried to hit me first." I said.

"Well two wrongs don't make a right." Fluttershy said bitterly.

"We're in the middle of a tournament." I said as Tienn got up off the ground.

"What's this? It appears that Piccolo is talking to himself." The announcer said.

"I don't care. You hurt that poor little three eyed man. Now what do you have to say for yourself?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm sorry." I said reluctantly to Tienn. He seemed to be very surprised.

"Um, Who were you talking to?" Tienn asked kicking me.

"The yellow pony right in front of you. How can't you see her? You have three eyes!" I yelled. Tienn grabbed me by my cape and punched me in the torso.

"Did he just say what I think he just said?" Krillen asked.

"Why isn't he fighting back? He's going to get creamed out there if this keeps up." Gohan said.

"Beats me. Maybe it's because he didn't use the old techniques." Goku said.

"You're freaking me out." Tienn said kicking me.

"Oooh! That is one hard kick to the face. I don't know folks. Tien might have this fight in the bag." The announcer said.

"What are you waiting for? Punch his lights out!" Vegeta shouted over the crowd. Bulma puts a Sensue Bean in his mouth to shut him up.

"Honey, hold still." Bulma said.

"Why can't you enter nice tournaments like the 'Who Could Stay Quiet the Longest Tournament' or something?" Fluttershy asked distracting me from the fight again.

"You're really off your game today." Tienn said kicking me in the shin and blasting me with a yellow ball of light. I calmly walked out of the ring. The audience gasped.

"Piccolo has forfeited the match without even landing a single punch. Tien will be going on to the next round." History was made. This was one of the first time a fight lasted less than one episode. I have to say it was pretty embarrassing. I really can't complain though. I could have turned into a monkey and woke up completely naked like the other sayans have.

"You happy now, Fluttershy?!" I asked.

"Yes." Fluttershy said quietly as she flapped her feathery wings. After listening to ten minutes of people hounding me for quitting the match, Goku beat Tienn in the next round. I predicted that was going to happen.

"I can't believe he actually watched the show." Krillin whispered to Goku as he admired his new trophy.

"I guess we have one more member in our herd." Gohan said.

"Now all we have to do is get Vegeta to join us." Goku said.

"Yeah, like that'll ever happen." Krillin said.

Author's Note

I really wasn't expecting to make a sequel out of this. Four people on Fanfiction asked me to make one. I don't think it's as good as the first chapter but it'll have to do for now.

Fighting Tirek

A few weeks later Vegeta invited the herd to his house to see the final episodes of season four. He was almost caught up with all of the episodes. He knew that Bulma was planning a girl’s night out with Chi-Chi and Android 18 so It would be the perfect time to get rid of her. Neither he nor Trunks dared to tell her the saiyans’ little secret.

“So what are you going to do while I’m gone? Chi-Chi and Goku are going to be here any minute.” Bulma asked.

“You know. I’ll put Trunks to bed and watch some wrestling with the guys.” Vegeta lied puffing out his chest. There was a knock at the door.

“Before I go can I ask you something?” Bulma asked.

“What is it?” Vegeta asked.

“Does this dress make me look fat?” Bulma asked checking herself out.

“Would you just go?” Vegeta asked rushing her out the door.

“Android 18, Bulma, and I are going shopping. Have fun watching your wrestling.” Chi-Chi said to Goku.

“How did I get dragged into this?” Android 18 asked herself.

“See you later Chi-Chi.” Goku said waving goodbye.

“Are they gone, Kakarot?” Vegeta whispered.

“Yep! They’re all gone!” Goku said.

“I thought she’d never leave.” Vegeta said.

“Gohan will be right over. He’s teaching Piccolo how to make popcorn.” Goku said.

“And what about Krillin?” Vegeta asked.

“Krillin forgot to put the My Little Pony DVD back in the wrestling cd case. He didn’t want to blow our cover so he went back for it.” Goku said. A few minutes went by and the other saiyans arrived.

“Ready to watch some wresteling?” Krillin asked with air quotes. He put the DVD in. Goku immediately started shoveling popcorn in his mouth.

“Have you ever heard of sharing?” Vegeta asked.

“Sorry, Chi-Chi didn’t have enough time to make me dinner. I’m starving.” Goku said with his mouth full. Little specks of popcorn fly out of his mouth.

“This episode better not be too sappy.” Vegeta muttered folding his arms.

“It’s the exact opposite of sappy. Believe me. This episode will be right up your alley. There’s lots of fighting.” Gohan said.

“Fighting? Why didn’t you just say so?” Vegeta asked.

“Yeah, and Princess Luna finally gets to sing.” Krillen said.

“Don’t give it away.” Piccolo scolded not taking his eyes off the screen for a single second. The doorbell ringed a second time. Goku paused the DVD and Vegeta answered the door. Tien was standing on his front porch with a drunken Nappa on his shoulder.

“Um, are you guys watching My Little Pony?” Tien asked glancing at the television.

“Yes we are.” Goku said.

“No we’re not. I mean, it was a dare.” Vegeta said.

“My point is, you have to let Nappa stay here and sober up.” Tien said.

“What did he do this time?” Vegeta asked.

“He thinks Choutzu is Ronald Mac Donald and won’t stop asking for chicken nuggets.” Tien said.

“Why is that his problem?” Piccolo asked sitting up.

“Vegeta brought him to this planet and he’s been nothing but a nuisance ever since. Someone should be held responsible.” Tien said.

“Fine, bring him in and get out.” Vegeta said.

“Alright. Have fun watching you little girl show.” Tien said.

“It is not a girl’s show.” Vegeta shouted slamming the door in his face.

“Now what are we going to do about him? I didn’t come here to babysit.” Piccolo said looking down at Nappa.

“He probably won’t even wake up.” Gohan said. They unpaused the movie and continued watching. The show was more intense than they had remembered. Tirek was stealing magic from everypony and Twilight Sparkle was about to try to take him on alone.

“Go Twilight!” Goku cheered. Tirek fires a blast at Twilight. The ball of flames missed and hit Twilight’s house.

“Oh, no! The Library!” Vegeta yelled waking up Nappa. Twilight Sparkle shot laser beams from her horn on the tv.

“Look at the pretty colors, Vegeta.” Nappa slurred pointing at the tv.

“Shut up, Nappa. I’m trying to watch this.” Vegeta said trying to witness the epic battle going on. Never in his life did he see such violence in children’s programing. If all kid shows were like this, he would watch them more often.

“Is that satan?” Nappa asked.

“No, that’s just Tirek.” Gohan said.

After they were done watching the episodes Goku came up with an idea.

“Hey, guys! Why don’t we use the Dragon Balls to wish us to Equestria?”Goku asked.

“That would be so cool.” Krillen said.

“But it’s our duty to be here and save the planet.” Piccolo said.

“We could use our second wish to send us back home.” Goku said.

“Shouldn’t we save those Dragon Balls just in case we have to bring someone back from the dead again?” Piccolo asked.

“It’s not like we can’t find them again.” Gohan said.

The saiyans went to Goku’s house to get the dragon balls together. The green dragon came out of a thick cloud of smoke.

“You have three wishes. What is your first wish?” The dragon roared.

“We wish to go to Equestria.” Krillin said.

“Hey, look! There’s Puff The Magic Dragon!” Nappa said incoherently.

“I take offense to that. You want your wish? Fine! You may go to Equestria, but you will suffer great consequences for your insolence.” The Dragon said granting their wish. The saiyans were teleported to Equestria, but Twilight and her friends took their places.

“Hey! It worked.” Krillin said looking around him. They were standing in an open field of flowers.

“Hey, Twilight. Long time no see.” Goku said.

“I don’t have much time. I just got a letter from Princess Celestia. The only way you’re able to go back to your home planet is if you and your friends defeat Tirek.” Twilight Sparkle said.

“Dad, who are you talking to?” Gohan asked.

“Twilight, why can’t my friends see you?” Goku asked.

“Because I’m your spirit pony.” Twilight said.

“What’s a spirit pony?” Goku asked.

“Everyone has a spirit pony. We come to visit from time to time when you are in need of guidance. My friends will be here to help your friends soon.” Twilight Sparkle said.

“Has anyone here had a spirit pony?” Goku asked.

“Goku, what are you talking about?” Krillin asked.

“You know. A pony you have a special connection with.” Goku said.

“Pinkie Pie! She wouldn’t stop coming to my house.” Vegeta gasped.

“So I’m not going crazy. I used to see Fluttershy all the time. ” Piccolo said.

“It all makes sense now.” Krillin said.

“Twilight Sparkle says we have to beat Tirek to get back home.” Goku said.

“Tirek as in the giant terrifying red guy with limitless power.”Krillen whimpered.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Rainbow Dash said to Krillin.

“Rainbow Dash! Is that you?” Krillin asked.

“The one and only.” Rainbow Dash said.

“Great now he’s talking to himself.” Gohan said.

“He ain’t talkin to himself, Sugarcube. He’s talkin to Rainbow Dash.” Applejack said. Gohan rubbed his eyes. All of this was too much for him to take in.

“Aw, why do I get stuck with the ugly bald guy?” Rarity complained. The only person who seemed to hear him was Nappa.

“Look guys! A unicorn. I want to ride it.” Nappa said staggering over to Rarity.

“Get off of me you filthy mongrel.” Rarity said throwing him off of her back and brushing the dirt off her coat with her tail. Nappa could see little stars dancing around his head.

“Vegeta, the little white pony kicked me.” Nappa whined.

“You deserved it. I am far too delicate to have a big oaf like you sitting on me.” Rarity said putting her nose in the air.

“This isn’t a petting zoo, Nappa. We’re here to fight Tirek, and that’s it.” Vegeta said.

“Now that I think about it, this Tirek guy doesn’t seem that bad. If Twilight could beat him so could we. Right guys.” Krillin said. The ground shook. “Guys? Guys! He’s right behind me, isn’t he? We’re all going to die!” Krillin screamed running through the meadow.

“You call that running? My pet turtle could run faster than you.” Rainbow Dash said flying past Krillin. Tirek marched up the hill with a threatening glare.

“Wow. You’re pretty big. I expected you to be like ten inches tall like you are on the tv.” Goku said looking up at him. Goku squints. “Do you mind taking a step to the right?” Goku asks. Tirek does as he is told. His massive head blocks the sun from Goku’s eyes. “See. He’s a nice guy.” Goku said.

“What are you talking about? He’s not a nice guy at all. He drained the magic out of everypony in Equestria and now he escaped from prison.” Twilight said.

“Your power would be of great use to me.” Tirek said.

“Quick, Vegeta. Check his power level.” Nappa said. Vegeta turns on his scouter. The number sky rockets. Sparks fly from the scouter. The air fills with smoke.

“Great! Now I’m going to go back to Sayians R Us and get a new one.” Vegeta said.

“I guess that means we’ll have to give him all we got.” Gohan said. He took off into the air shooting yellow beams of light from his hands. Tirek dusts dirt off of his arms. Vegeta, Piccolo, and Goku flew off the ground. Tirek levitates them in the air with stolen unicorn magic.

“Ugh! I can’t move!” Piccolo said trying to break free. Tirek tried to absorb their power, but failed. He is only capable of draining Equestrian magic.

“If I can’t have your power, nopony can.” Tirek roared. Bolts of lightning shoot down from the sky. The saiyans are blasted into the ground. Tirek crushed them with a large boulder.

“Has anyone seen any of my teeth lying around?” Nappa asked.

“You simply cannot solve all of your problems by fighting barbarically in our world” Rarity said.

“It takes a lot more than a couple of punches and kicks to bring me down.” Tirek said.

“No, no, no! You guys can’t just charge at him without a plan. You’re going to get yourselves killed.” Twilight said.

“Hey guys! Twilight says we should come up with a plan.” Goku said.

“I say we turn super saiyan.” Vegeta said.

“I’ve got a better idea.” Krillin said running behind a rock. He came back with his underwear in his hand. “We surrender! Sorry I don’t have a white flag. This will have to do for now.”

“Where do you think you’re going, shorty? You can’t just quit without even trying.” Rainbow Dash said soaring in front of his path.

“Anyone else have any brilliant ideas?” Piccolo asked.

“Have you ever heard the phrase kill him with kindness?” Fluttershy asked.

“Kill them with kindness? What’s that supposed to mean?” Piccolo asked.

“You know how my friends use our friendship to fight the bad guys? That’s the easiest way to beat them.” Fluttershy said.

“Fluttershy thinks we should try to kill Tirek with kindness. I think it’s suicide, but it’s worth a shot.” Piccolo said.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. This is why you should never take advice from sissy ponies.” Vegeta said.

“Maybe it will work. It seems to work in the tv show.” Gohan said.

“Yall gotta work together if ya wanna win the fight.” Applejack said.

“How exactly do you kill someone with kindness?” Goku asked.

“Maybe you should try singing him a song.” Twilight said.

“Before you kill us, Tirek. We’d like to sing you a song.” Goku said coming up with a poorly improvised song from the top of his head. It slightly resembled the song from Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

Goku: Your friends with me, I’m friends with you
Gohan: Our hearts are bigger than Majin Buu
Krillin: We’ll smile, and laugh, and fill you up with cheer
Nappa: I could go for a can of beer
Piccolo: Friends stick together no matter what
Vegeta: This friendship song is going to kick your butt

“Vegeta, you were supposed to sing about nice things.” Pinkie Pie said.

“That was the most dreadful song I’ve ever heard in my entire life.” Tirek said.

“I wasn’t going to sing that sappy song. It’s degrading.” Vegeta said.

“Maybe you should throw him a party. Or why don’t you try to make him laugh? Everypony loves a good joke.” Pinkie asked.

“What’s clueless and covered in blood? Your face.” Vegeta said balling his hand into a fist. As soon as he swung, Tirek snapped his arm like a toothpick.

“Why did the ghost go to the bar?” Nappa asked.

“Why?” Tirek asked.

“To get some booze.” Nappa replied. Pinkie Pie rolled in the grass laughing as Vegeta writhed in pain.

“Your pathetic friendship song has no effect on me. Why do you think telling foolish jokes will make a difference?” Tirek asked.

“Why don’t you try giving him a complement? A little flattery can go a long way.” Rarity suggested.

“Uh, I like your horns.” Nappa said.

“You think buttering me up will make your death less painful?” Tirek asked.

“Is it working, mr.handsome goat guy?” Krillin asked.

“Give it up, Krillin. That’s not helping.” Rainbow Dash said.

“Maybe you should try giving him a hug.” Fluttershy said.

“You have got to be kidding me. No way! I am not giving him a hug.” Piccolo said.

“But Piccolo, what if it’s the only way to defeat Tirek?” Gohan asked. Piccolo walked up to Tirek with open arms. Tirek squeezed Piccolo like a bottle of ketchup.

“We have to listen to the ponies. They’re the only ones with experience on how to beat these guys.” Goku said.

“Look at where listening to the ponies got us so far. Vegeta has a broken arm and we just made total fools of ourselves.” Piccolo said.

“He does have a point.” Applejack said.

“Can someone hand me a sensue bean?” Vegeta moaned.

“Sensue beans? I thought they were jelly beans so I ate them all.” Nappa said.

“He’s just so powerful. There’s no way we could beat him.” Gohan said.

“If you cannot defeat me you will never leave Equestria.” Tirek said.

“Wait! Goku. You don’t have to be Tirek’s friend. All you have to do is use your friendship for each other to defeat him.” Twilight said.

“How do we do that?” Goku asked.

“We all hold hooves and usually I ramble about how our friendship is impenetrable. Soon he will see the true meaning of friendship.” Twilight said.

“It’s worth a shot. Twilight says we should all hold hands.” Goku said.

"Vegeta says shut up. I'm tired of taking orders from stupid ponies." Vegeta protested as Nappa grabbed his broken arm.

“What now? Are we going to play ring around the rosie?” Piccolo asked sarcastically.

“Just do what my father says.” Gohan said.

“I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” Krillin said.

“As amusing as you all are, my patience is growing thin. I’m going to put an end to this.” Tirek said forming a massive ball of magic over his horns.

“Our bond is stronger than all of the magic in the universe. Krillin has been with me from the very beginning and he is the best friend a guy could have. Although Piccolo and I got off on the wrong foot when we first met, he has redeemed himself in every way imaginable. I am so lucky to have Gohan as a son and a friend. Everything he does makes me proud. Vegeta may act tough and mean, but I know that he has a soft side. He has helped me through a lot of tough times in my life. Although Nappa did try to destroy our planet and has a bit of a drinking problem, I guess he’s our friend too. Without my friends I would have never made it this far. I don’t know what I’d do without them.” Goku said.

“Hey look! There’s a rainbow in the sky. Do you know what that means?” Krillin asked excitedly.

“The tooth fairy is coming for my teeth?” Nappa asked.

“It means the friendship spell is working, you idiot!” Vegeta grumbled as the colorful beams blasted Tirek.

“No!” Tirek screamed as hammy as Darth Vador. His body that once towered over the rooftops of Ponyville shrunk down to the size of a blade of grass.

"I have to hand it to you, Goku. That was pretty impressive. I thought you were talking out of your butt to buy us some time." Piccolo said.

"That was the most beautiful speech I've ever heard." Krillin sniffled.

"Are you crying?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No! I just have a pollen allergy." Krillin said defensively.

“Goku, my friends are I are having a bit of a problem. I just received another letter from Princess Celestia. The only way we could get back home is if we defeat Freiza.” Twilight Sparkle said.

Bringing Back the Dragon Ball

Twilight Sparkle and her friends stood around the dragon balls. A green dragon towered over them. He made Spike look like he was the size of a jelly bean. The ponies gazed up at him in wonder.

“The Dragon Balls can allow me to grant you two wishes.” Shenron said.

“Two wishes? But there are seven dragon ball thingys.” Pinkie Pie protested.

“It was originally supposed to be three wishes, but your Saiyan friends used one up.” Shenron said.

“So it takes around 2.33 of these dragon balls to make one wish?” Twilight asked showing off her impressive math skills.

“What a rip off.” Rainbow Dash snorts.

“Never in all of my years have I seen such ungratefulness and disrespect. Not everyone has the opportunity to wish for whatever they desire.” Shenron growled hovering over the dragon balls.

“Can we wish for more wishes?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“No. It’s against the rules.” Shenron said.

“Can we wish to change the rules?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“No.” Shenron replied.

“Dang it! Can we wish to change the rule about not being allowed to change the rules?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Quiet! You will have two wishes and that’s final.” Shenron roared.

“We should use our second wish to take us back to Equestria.” Twilight said.

“But what do we do with the first one?” Rarity asked. A white and purple figure zoomed past them.

“What in tarnation is that thing?” Applejack asked. Before anyone could answer Frieza snatched one of the seven dragon balls making Shenron vanish. “Hey! Gimme back mah dragon ball doohickey.” Applejack said.

“You better give that back or I’ll…I’ll…” Fluttershy stammered.

“You’ll what?” Frieza asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe we could share it. You could have one wish, and we could wish to go home,” Fluttershy said. Piccolo smacks his forehead.

“Don’t let him have a wish. He’ll use it for evil. You’re going to have to fight him. There’s no two ways around it. That fighting with kindness stuff doesn’t work around here.” Piccolo said.

“Oh, oops. Sorry. Nevermind. Piccolo said I shouldn’t let you have a wish.” Fluttershy said.

“He doesn’t trust me? Oh well. I guess that’s what happens when you try to wipe out his entire race.” Frieza said.

“You won’t be getting any wishes. Not if I could help it.” Twilight said.

“You little ponies think you could stand a chance against me? Adorable.” Frieza said mockingly.

“You’re not so scary. You’re just a freak wearing lipstick.” Rainbow Dash said scraping her hoof into the dirt.

“Yeah! You tell him, Rainbow Dash!” Krillin said.

“We don’t need that dragon ball to go home as long as we have each other. My home is where my friends are. You could take away our dragon ball, but you will never take away our friendship.” Twilight rambled.

“Oh my god! Shut up! Is there some kind of an off switch on you?” Frieza asked hitting her with his tail.

“The friendship speech worked for us. I wonder what went wrong.” Goku said. Twilight got up off the ground and dusted the dirt off her coat with her wings.

"What a shame? You are all a lot weaker than I thought. No matter. This planet will be destroyed soon anyway." Frieza said smirking smugly at the injured alicorn. Frieza went too far that time. Nopony interrupts a friendship speech and gets away with it. Twilight improvises a rather dark song that sounds like Headstrong from Trapt.

Twilight: Frieza you’ve got some gaul

Rarity: Give us back that dragon ball

Rainbow Dash: On your knees you will crawl

You will fall. You will fall

Rarity: You can’t defeat us all

Applejack: Get ready for the fight yall

We’ll win this little brawl

Twilight: And we’ll go home once and for all

Fluttershy: You won’t even have a prayer

When I start giving you the stare

Pinkie: I really like this song

It’s super catchy and I wanna sing along

But it sounds violent

Frieza:The singing’s even worse,

I can’t bear to hear you sing another verse

Please stay silent.

“Okay!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

“I like you. You’re the good pony. You listen when I tell you to shut up. I’m going to kill you last. Big mouth dies first.” Frieza said forming a large pink ball of light on the palm of his hand.

“Ooh! Pretty!” Pinkie said opening her eyes like saucers. He hits Applejack with it.

“Quick! Do something! Do the awesome Rainbow thing.” Krillin said.

“One sonic rainboom coming right up!” Rainbow Dash said soaring up in the air.

“Sonic what? OUCH!” Frieza asked. Rainbow Dash dives down towards Frieza flying as fast as her wings could carry her. Frieza looked up at the rainbow in the sky long enough for Rainbow Dash to kick him in the back of the head. Frieza fell to the ground.

“What's the matter? Am I going too fast for ya?" Rainbow Dash taunted dodging his arracks. He finally yanked her by the tail and tossed her into a pile of rocks.

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity gasped.

“Are you ok?” Krillin asked. Rainbow Dash groaned.

“Don’t you EVER hurt my friends you big meanie. Alright! You asked for it buster.” Fluttershy said giving him the stare.

“That’s it. Keep giving him the stare.” Piccolo said coaching Fluttershy.

“What are you doing? Stop that. No. Seriously stop looking at me like that. You’re freaking me out. Make her stop.” Frieza said.

“Hurry, Pinkie! Don’t just stand there! Use your party cannon.” Vegeta commanded.

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie Pie said whipping out her party cannon out of nowhere. An explosion of cake batter and confetti blasts over Frieza.

"Yuck! What's this? Cake batter?! Mmmmm... Not bad. What's your recipe?"Frieza said licking the batter off of his finger.

“I just add two cups of sugar, two eggs, a cup of flower, a tiny bit of salt, some baking soda…” Pinkie Pie said stalling him long enough for Rainbow Dash to recover and hit him with another sonic rainboom. Twilight Sparkle shot laser beams out of her horn.

“Nice job, Twilight!” Goku cheered.

“Applejack! Now’s your chance. Tie him up with your lasso.” Gohan ordered.

“Ah’m on it, sugarcube.” Applejack said taking her rope out of her hat and tying the loop around Frieza.

“Hey, Diamond Butt.” Nappa said.

“My name is not Diamond Butt. It’s Rarity.” Rarity said.

“Aren’t ya gonna help your friends?” Nappa asked.

“I think I might stay on the sidelines. These kind of fights are much too barbaric. I am a lady, after all.” Rarity said.

Frieza’s one arm gets loose from the ropes. He fires a pink disk at Fluttershy.

“Look out!” Piccolo yelled. Fluttershy flew out of the way at the last second. The disk kept going and hit Rarity burning off part of her mane.

"My mane! Alright, that's it! I wasn't planning on getting my hooves dirty but you leave me no choice. TAKE THAT and THAT!" Rarity yelled jabbing him with her horn. Applejack kicks him with her back legs.

“That’s what ten years of applebuckin feels like.” Applejack said.

“Pinkie. Get the dragon ball.” Vegeta said.

“Got it!” Pinkie Pie said.

“Good. Now put it with the others.” Vegeta said.

“Make sure he doesn’t get away, Applejack.” Gohan said.

“Don’t worry. Ah got em right where ah want em.” Applejack said.

“Have you decided what you are going to wish for?” Goku asked.

“Yes. I have. For my first wish I want Frieza to be my student. Each week he shall have to write me a friendship report five hundred words each.” Twilight Sparkle said.

“What?! You have got to be kidding me.” Frieza said.

“You need to learn more about friendship in the worst way.” Twilight said.

“Your wish has been granted.” Shenron said.

“For my final wish I want us to go back to Equestria.” Twilight said. After their wish was granted, everyone returned home. The saiyans woke up on the couch.

“There you are. We were about to go out looking for you.” Bulma said.

“Where were you guys?” Android 18 asked.

“You know, guy stuff. You wouldn’t understand.” Vegeta said.

“Guy stuff? Like what?” Bulma asked.

“You know, saving the world.” Goku said.

“Goku! You know how I feel about you putting you and my son in danger. Gohan isn’t going to get anywhere in life without a proper education.” Chi Chi said.

“Don’t worry, mom. Nobody got hurt.” Gohan said.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Vegeta asked.

“You better not have left Trunks and Goten alone.” Bulma said.

“They were sleeping anyway.” Goku said.

“What is Nappa doing here?” Android 18 asked.

“It’s a long story.” Piccolo said.

“Sooo… How did the shopping go?” Krillin asked trying to change the subject.

“It went great. First we got ice cream, next we went to the drive in movies, and after that we each got these cute little dolls at a shop across the street.” Bulma said. They each took a cutie mark crusader doll out of their bags. The saiyans pretended not to be interested.

“Mine has a cute pink bow in her mane. Her name is Apple Bloom.” Chi Chi said holding the doll.

“Bulma and Chi Chi made me get one too. I picked the one with the one with the wings and spiky mane. Her name is Scootaloo.” Android 18 said tossing it aside.

“Mine is a unicorn with a cute curly mane. I think her name is Sweetie Heart.” Bulma said.

“For the love of god, woman. Her name is Sweetie Belle.” Vegeta yelled.

“You don’t strike me as the guy who would know a lot about My Little Pony.” Android 18 said.

“What? No! I-“ Vegeta said.

“We used the dragon balls to go to Ponyland.” Nappa slurred.

“What?” Chi Chi asked.

“Shut up, Nappa!” Piccolo yelled.

“Don’t mind him, mom. He’s drunk.” Gohan said.

“So how was the wrestling?” Andriod 18 said.

“It was awesome. Lots of people were um… getting their butts kicked, and wrestling, and stuff.” Krillin said.

“Oh, really? Can I borrow the dvd for a while?” Android 18 asked looking at the dvd case.

“NO!” Vegeta yelled.

“Sorry I asked?” Android 18 said.

“What Vegeta is trying to say is, we never got to finish watching it because the world was in danger.” Gohan said.

“Well then can we watch the rest of it with you?” Chi Chi asked.

“You wouldn’t like it. It has lots of blood and gore in it.” Krillin said.

“We watch your tournaments all of the time.” Bulma said.

“Well this wrestling is fake.” Piccolo said.

“Wrestling’s fake?” Goku asked.

“Sh… Play along.” Gohan whispered.

“I rode on a unicorn.” Nappa shouted.

‘What has he been drinking?” Android 18 asked.

“Piccolo got hugged by a big red goat and Frieza got marinated in cake batter.” Nappa said. Nappa's brony friends tackle him to the ground and try to cover his mouth.

“I thought you got rid of him, Vegeta.” Bulma said.

“He did for a little while. Until the magic of friendship brought me back. It only hurts when I’m sober.” Nappa said. Trunks and Goten ran down the stairs.

“Hey, dad. Frieza came into my bedroom window.” Trunks said.

“WHAT?” Bulma and Chi Chi screamed in unison.

“And he told me to give this letter to my dad.” Goten said.

“He said it was for somebody named Twilight Sparkle. He looked really beat up.” Trunks said.

“Yeah, and he smelled like birthday cake.” Goten added.

"Dad you better not be watching that stupid pony show while we have company. It gives me weird dreams about an indigo flying unicorn. This is starting to get really embarrassing. I'm going to start wearing a paper bag over my head if this keeps up." Trunks said. Bulma, Chi Chi, and Android 18 looked at each other and laughed. Never in his life did Vegeta feel so humiliated.

"Trunks, your grounded!" Vegeta growled.

"You watch My Little Pony? Grow up." Piccolo said trying not to blow his cover.

"Hey! You were watching it too." Krillen said. As his friends bickered, Goku unfolded the letter.

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

Today I learned that friendship is really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really
important. Not having friends is very very very very very very very very bad. Killing lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of people is also very very very very bad.

Your Most Faithful Student,

Lord Frieza