Dawn of the Final Day

by Arakos

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 7844

What if you knew the day you were going to die? Could you come to terms with it? I've had 1,000 years, and I'm still not sure I have.

This is it. The world is ending tonight. Everypony is going to die. I'm going to die.

I've lived long enough. Probably longer than I should have. What do I have to be afraid of?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-24 19:54:48 UTC

Denial

"How much longer, do you think?"

...

"Then, I suppose this is it, isn't it?"

...

"I know I've asked this before, but... is there nothing I can do?"

...

"I... I understand. It's almost morning. I should probably raise you soon."

...

"Just... just once more. One more time, and then you can rest."

It's an odd thing, knowing when you are going to die. The waiting is the worst part, and I've been waiting ever since I found out one thousand years ago. It had come as a complete shock at the time, but I really should have seen it coming. A million years is an awfully long time to live. Even the stars in the sky must meet their end sometime, though my sister is loathe to admit it. Perhaps I have become jaded because of my longevity, but my impending demise no longer bothers me as it would so many others. No, I have plenty of other things to be bothered by, one thing above all else.

I am not alone.

When I first discovered that the sun was dying, I was afraid merely for myself. What would become of me? Is this it? Is my long life finally coming to an end? I worried on my own well-being, my own future, but that only proves just how short sighted I was at the time. After the initial shock wore off, I had more time to think on the true impacts of such an event. Sometimes I wish I had stayed selfish, had only thought of myself, but I know that's impossible. I love my little ponies far too much, and that's why my mind nearly broke when I realized that they would all die with me.

"Princess, your breakfast is ready."

Is it that time already? It's funny, I had always thought that when this day finally arrived it would just drag on and on. Now that it's here, time just seems to slip away. I suppose I shouldn't waste precious daylight lying in bed. It is in rather short supply after all.

"Thank you, Dust Pan. Please tell Luna I'll be down shortly."

"Of course, Princess."

Look at her, trotting off to the dining hall without a care in the world. I wonder, did I make the right decision in keeping this whole apocalypse thing covered up? On the one hoof, I would rather not have my ponies spend their final moments in a panic. If I had it my way, they wouldn't even notice it was happening until it was already done. On the other hoof, it doesn't seem fair that they shouldn't be able to spend their final moments with their loved ones, instead of wasting away their last day at work. Maybe... maybe I'll send the castle's janitorial staff home early. Nopony deserves to meet their end while scrubbing a bathroom.

Speaking of, I should probably haul myself out of bed now.

Who put the bathroom so far away, anyway? I swear sometimes, this whole castle was designed to waste time. Is it worth my time to make myself presentable today? Every minute counts, after all. But then again, I should try to keep up an appearance of normalcy to avoid causing a panic. What's five or so minutes out of an entire day? What else could I even do in so short a time? Were it not so morbid, I would probably be laughing at the idea of brushing my teeth as one of my final acts. Who wants to have bad breath when they die, right? Ah ha ha.

Ha.

Why do my teeth even need to be brushed, anyway? Can an immortal alicorn suffer from tooth decay? It's not that I don't enjoy brushing. I do. In fact, it's one of the few things I get to do that makes me feel like a normal pony. Don't tell anyone this, but I swapped the royal diamond studded brush for one of those plastic ones they hand out at the dentist. It's so much softer on my gums. Why does form always have to come at the cost of function?

Right, that took longer than it should have. Better get to the dining hall. Luna is probably waiting impatiently for my arrival. I wonder what the cooks have prepared for my last breakfast. French toast, perhaps? I hope that's it. Nothing too fancy. Knowing Luna though, she probably had them cook up some huge feast. I love her to death, but she can be a bit excessive at times.

Ha ha.

Death.

When I first found out, I tried to ignore it. What's that? World's going to end in a thousand years? That's future Celestia's problem, let her deal with it. I guess I knew what was going to happen, but it didn't sink in just how terrible it would be. Sure, I would be there in a thousand years, and so would Luna, but all of my beloved subjects will have lived their lives and passed on long before the end. They won't have to suffer as I will. I know that's shortsighted now, but I think I may have lost it if I had dwelt on the issue right then. I needed time to adjust to the idea, and I think my mind just went on autopilot for a little bit to give me that time.

And so, for three hundred years I carried on as though nothing were wrong. Looking back, I think I may have tried a little too hard. In my efforts to remain inconspicuous, I doubled my efforts to make everyone happy. Not all of my decisions were popular, sure, but when is that ever the case in politics? I must admit, it was so much easier to just say yes to everything. You want to renovate the old theater? Sure, have some money. Tax cuts for everyone? No problem! You think Baltimare should have it's own private naval force? Well, the treasury's empty, but I'm sure I can scrape something together out of my personal spending money.

Okay, so I went a little nuts. I know everyone has to deal with it sometime, but for immortal beings, "you're going to die" is a bit of a bombshell. I mean, even I can see that some of my decisions were stupid, but can you blame me? You would probably do something similar if you were me. We all make mistakes. Mine just happen to ruin entire economies.

My willful ignorance couldn't last forever though. I had begun to wind down my excessive spending, but by the three hundredth year I was still in denial. I'm still not sure why it took so long to snap out of it, but I'll never forget the day it happened. It was a Thursday, early morning. I was eating breakfast at the time, with Luna, like always. One of the maids went into labor right there, and I, being my exceptionally helpful self, waved off the guards and carried her to the hospital.

I didn't have to stay with them. I'm still not sure why I did, but for some reason I just couldn't leave. The nurses must have been so confused, and honestly, so was I. Princess Celestia, sitting in a hospital waiting room, waiting for a pony whose name, to my regret, she didn't even know. After the initial rush wore off, I must admit, I found the situation to be a little absurd. And yet, I stayed. I stayed, and I waited, and I'm glad that I did.

When I saw that little unicorn foal sleeping next to his mother, I felt like a fog in my head had been swept away. I've seen millions of children born during my lifetime, and I still don't know why, but seeing this one child made me realize just how shortsighted I had been.

I had convinced myself that none of the ponies I loved would suffer at the end, that they would all be long gone. Maybe it was necessary to retain my sanity, but it couldn't last forever. No, this child, right here, he would grow up, fall in love, have children of his own, and once he had lived his life to the fullest, he would die happy. His children would do the same, and their children after that. For hundreds of years, they would continue the cycle, and they would all lead happy lives.

All except for one.

In seven hundred years, a child would be born, and that child would burn alongside me at the end of the world.

On that night, after three hundred years of denial and bottled emotions, for a single child not yet born, I wept.

I suppose it's my own fault for getting my hopes up. Should I have expected anything less? Probably not, but is it too much to ask for a a simple glass of orange juice, just once?

"Is there something wrong with breakfast, Tia? Did the chefs forget something?"

"No, Luna, they did not. This is... everything is just fine."

Of course, she's too busy stuffing her face to respond. No, nothing was forgotten, and that is exactly the problem. This table was built to seat at least twenty ponies, and yet there is barely enough room on its surface to hold breakfast for just the two of us. Every fruit and vegetable imaginable is arranged in every combination I can think of, and probably a few others after that. Pancakes, muffins, scones, biscuits, waffles, donuts, and a variety of the most elaborate toast assortment I've ever seen is stacked as far as the eye can see. How do you even make fancy toast? Why would you? Actually, wait. I think they did forget something.

"Luna, is the French Toast on your end?"

"The what?"

Oh, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

"Nothing, Lu. I think I'll just have one of these uh, banana crepes."

I wonder if I should say something. We probably won't see each other for, well... ever again, actually. Would it be considered rude to die without saying goodbye? Normally, I wouldn't think so, but this is kind of a strange situation, isn't it? It's not exactly the type of thing one usually brings up at breakfast. You normally wouldn't bring it up at lunch or dinner either. Well, some ponies might. I've actually known quite a few like that. It's kind of hard not to when you've lived as long as I have. I remember one colt in particular, a previous student of mine, can't remember the name, but he spent most of his time talking about death like most ponies discuss a day at work. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been as surprised as I was when I found out he had been studying necromancy behind my back. Oh, and there was this other one...

"Tia."

"Hmm?"

"I asked if you could pass the raspberry waffles."

"Oh, yeah, sure."

She's looking at me funny. Why is she looking at me funny? Did I pass her the wrong waffles? I'm sure I grabbed the raspberry ones.

"Something wrong, Luna?"

"Not with me, no. Something's clearly bothering you, though."

"What? How so?"

"I'm allergic to raspberries. The fact that you didn't question me at all when I asked for them tells me that your thoughts lie elsewhere."

Oh wow, she's right. I am out of it. Clever girl...

"It's nothing. I'm just a little preoccupied today. I've got a lot to do."

That should be explanation enough. I'm always pretty busy. It's not too much of a stretch to think I'd be a little distracted by my work. Actually, that gives me the perfect excuse to leave breakfast a little early. Luna's too perceptive for her own good. The longer I stay here, the greater the chance that she-

"Today's the day, isn't it?"

Oh, come on! Can't anything go right today?

"What day, exactly, are you referring to?"

"You know what day. The final day. You weren't going to tell me, were you?"

And here comes the guilt trip. Is it so wrong to not warn somepony that they're going to die? Okay, when I word it like that, it actually does sound really bad. That's really not how I meant it.

"I'm sorry, Luna. And yes, it is. I thought it would be best to keep it a secret. If anyone found out, it would cause a panic, and I think we both know that won't help anything. I just want our subjects to live their lives like they always have. They deserve that much, at least."

"Mmhmm."

Well, she doesn't seem mad. It's hard to tell with her, though. You know, after close to a million years of trying to analyze her ticks, I still haven't quite caught them all? At one point, I was so sure that when one of the primary feathers on her left wing rustled, it meant that she was getting angry. Turned out, it just meant that her wing itched. That does make her angry though, so technically I was right. Sort of.

"So, what do you have planned for today?"

Okay, wasn't quite expecting that to be her response. It's a shame, with just a couple hundred thousand more years, I could have probably had her completely figured out.

"Nothing special, really. Finish up breakfast, attend court, go over some paperwork, the usual."

Alright, that look, that one right there, has got to be irritation. Or confusion. Befuddled? Oh, I've got it. Shock.

"Paperwork? Tia, you can't be serious! These are your final moments! You should be doing all the things you always wanted to do, all the things you could never do before! You should at least spend your time doing something more fun than legislation."

"Luna, we have lived for a million years now. There is nothing left for me to do, I've done it all."

"That's a lie and you know it. There are plenty of things you've never allowed yourself to do because of your position. You've made yourself a prisoner, and even now you refuse to let yourself free."

Well, she's not wrong, I suppose. Still...

"Look, I can't just run off with no warning. You know anything I do out of the ordinary will arouse suspicion, and I want everyone's last day to be as painless as possible. If that means doing paperwork, then so be it."

"You would spend your final moments in misery so that your subjects can die in ignorance?"

Well, when you put it like that...

"...Yes."

Odd, she almost looks sad. Does she really want me to run off and party that much?

"Then... you are a bigger fool than I gave you credit for."

"..."

"I'm going to make the most of my final hours in this life. Come find me when you've come to your senses."

Aaaaand she's gone.

Huh.

That was odd.

Anger

"What happened to you? You used to be so full, so bright."

...

"None of them remember you the way you used to be. To think, this will be their final memory of you; a weak, broken shell of your former self."

...

"I wish they could have seen you in your prime. Maybe then they would understand what they've lost. What we've lost."

...

"What I've lost."

Luna was right. I've made a terrible mistake.

"According to these quarterly reports..."

"Uh huh. Yep. Alright."

Blah blah blah. Noise noise noise. I can't believe I'm actually wasting my last day listening to this pointless drivel. I wonder what Luna is up to? Probably off galavanting around Equestria by now, getting into who knows what. Maybe I should have gone with her.

"Budgetary constraints have had a significant negative impact on biomagical research..."

"No, really? That's a shame."

What does she know, anyways? Some of us have a country to run. That doesn't just stop because the world is ending. If anything, this is when my ponies need me the most. If she knew even one thing about responsibility, she would understand that. I have a duty to protect my subjects, especially in these dark times. Yeah, that's it. It's my duty.

"This bill will improve foreign relations while also..."

"Sounds good. Do that."

It's my duty to listen to this garbage. AGH, I'm so BORED. Luna had the right idea. They're never going to remember any of this anyways. I should just get up and leave. It's been so long since I've had a real vacation, and this is my last chance. I should just fly away and never look back. Sure, it'll probably cause some sort of panic, but so what? None of them will remember it when they're... dead.

"Princess?"

I won't remember either. What does it matter if my last moments are of joy or of misery? Besides, how can she possibly expect me to enjoy myself right now? She doesn't understand what I'm going through. She doesn't understand what it's like. The sun isn't like the moon, I can't just get a new one when it breaks. How many moons has she gone through? Fifteen? Sixteen? What's so special about the moon anyways? It's just a big rock. Ooh, look at me, I'm the Princess of the world's biggest rock! Whoops, it got destroyed again. I guess, I don't know, the tides are going to be screwed up until I find a new one? Whoop de doo, half the planet is going to get a little moist for a week. Dumb rock.

"Princess Celestia."

And don't get me started on the stars. Each one is supposed to be like a miniature sun, but since when has an entire planet been wiped out because one of the stars went out? Oh sure Luna, take all of the safe celestial bodies and leave me with the ticking time bomb. That's fair!

"Princess!"

"WHAT! What do you want!"

And I just lost it. Did I do the fiery hair thing? Uh huh, yep, those are ashes on the ceiling. Great, now I feel like an ass. No offense.

"I am so sorry about that. I've had a lot on my mind lately." Well now, this is kind of weird. Weren't there normally supposed to be petitioners lined up at the door?

"Excuse me, um... Rollerball, was it?" Oh lord, I hope I got that name right. Whatever happened to naming your foal something respectable like Quill Pen? I suppose those have been out of use for a while now, but it had such a nice ring to it. Fountain Pen wasn't so bad, but Ballpoint was kind of pushing it, and now we have silliness like Rollerball to deal with? I suppose if there's anything to be said for the end of the world, it's that we won't have to deal with whatever ridiculous name comes after Rollerball.

"Um... actually, Rollerball is my cousin. My name is Quill Pen."

Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Really?

"I'm sorry, but I have to ask. How did you come by such an antiquated name?"

"Oh um... well, my mother is something of a history buff. She's devoted her life to studying the Elements of Harmony, and named me after the twelfth bearer of Honesty. She never said why she chose that one specifically. I guess she just liked the name."

That would do it then. I suppose the names of past bearers would be popular. I can never remember all of them, there have been so many over the years. Gosh, come to think of it, the earliest one I can remember off hand is uh... okay well Quill Pen is cheating since I was just reminded of her, but yeah, you get the idea. It's terrible, I know, but sometimes I can barely remember what I had for breakfast last year.

I'm rambling again.

"Quill Pen, right. Again, sorry about earlier, I've been a little stressed lately. Now uh... what happened to all of the petitioners?"

"Oh, well you looked like you really needed a break, so Fourth Amendment closed court early and made them all leave."

"Without asking me?"

"You kind of zoned out for about a half hour there. Also, Laser Jet seemed kind of upset at some of your responses near the end there."

"Really? What did I say?"

"Well, you ended trade relations with the seaponies because one of the petitioners claimed that they seemed kinda fishy.  Let's see... you agreed to cut funding towards agricultural research in favor of um... natural enhancement pharmaceuticals. Oh, and at one point you declared that you fully support childhood illnesses."

"Curing them?"

"Ah... no."

Fudgesicles.

What a fool I had been. I had spent so much of my time and resources trying to make my subjects happy in their final moments, and they weren't even the ones who would suffer in the end. The current generation had grown fat and lazy under my rule. They wanted for nothing, and had lost the drive to better themselves for they no longer needed to. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I began to hate them for letting me coddle them so. I know, it sounds stupid, right? I wasn't exactly in a right state of mind at the time. Fear does crazy things to a pony, or so I've heard.

I hated them. They lived only for the here and now. So selfish. So greedy. They would take and take, as much as I had to give, and leave nothing for those that came after. What kind of future could their children have then? I had finally realized, it wasn't the present that needed protecting, but the future. If I couldn't save them from their grim fate, then the least I could make their short lives comfortable. That couldn't happen though, if things stayed as they were.

It would be a challenge to whip Equestria back into shape, and so I took it as one. Perhaps, that was not the best way to look at it. I started with the simplest and probably most hated move of my political career; no more government handouts. I needed to get my ponies back on their own hooves, working to make their own bits again. It took a while for the economy to stabilize, but ponies always find a way to pull through. Most ponies do, anyways. Some weren't too keen on the radical idea of earning money through hard work. Those pones decided to stick to the old ways of simply taking what they believed they deserved.

I was so angry at them. How dare they threaten the perfect future I was trying to build? I was doing it all for them! I was doing it so that their descendants wouldn't have to live in the garbage dump that they would have left behind, and they just didn't seem to care. I wouldn't let them ruin my hard work. I couldn't. I had let them get away with it before, and I had seen the results. Never again.

So, I stopped them.

As to what happened, I won't get into the details. It's a painful memory, one I never wish to relive, but that I'll never forget.  I believe most historians refer to that time as The Dark Ages. It was an era of fear and tyranny the likes of which Equestria has never seen. The irony, I suppose, is that everything I did was in an effort to make my ponies feel safe. I just wanted them to live happy lives. I thought that I could secure the future by ruling the present, and I devoted my every thought to the long term.

Luna could see what I was doing, of course. She was always the smart one. She tried to stop me, to show me the error of my ways, but I wouldn't listen. I refused to believe that I could be wrong. I was crafting the perfect future for my subjects. How could she possibly understand?

I never gave her the chance to understand. She didn't know what I knew. Maybe things would have been different if I had opened up to her. Maybe. That doesn't matter now. Words had failed, and she had few options left at her disposal. I don't blame her for what she did. I probably would have done the same in her position.

I had never been on the receiving end of the Elements of Harmony before. I always thought it would hurt.

I'm not sure why.

Scene 2

Bargaining

"My grip is weakening. I can't push you any further. It's time, isn't it?"

...

"I had... hoped for a little more time. I wanted you to make it to sunset, more than anything. Was that selfish of me?"

...

"I know. You've held on long enough. This is my fault."

...

"No, I pushed you too much. I just wanted one last day of normalcy. You deserved better than this."

...

"You deserved better than me."

Scene 1

Flashback

Scene 2 - In which Celestia discusses the futility of what ifs with Equestria's first successful doomsayer

Depression

"Please. Please answer me."

"Ha... I don't know what I was expecting."

"I've been deluding myself. I can't do this."

"I need you. I've never felt so... empty."

"I thought I understood fear. I've been afraid before."

"And yet... for the first time in my long life..."

"I'm scared."

It was inevitable, wasn't it? No matter what I did, this was always going to happen. This was always going to be our fate. It was our destiny from the very beginning.

I've never seen Canterlot so empty during the day. Everypony must be hiding in their homes. Is this what Luna deals with at night? Ponies cowering in fear? How ironic, that they should hide from the moon, when it is the sun that heralds the end of all things. It was always the sun. My sun.

Eternal night would have been preferable.

I had expected rioting. This is almost creepy. I think I would have preferred the rioting, actually. Are they avoiding me? Is that it? Do they think I had something to do with this? Big bad Princess Celestia got sick of listening to whiny nobles and decided to torch the planet. Yes, that seems reasonable enough.

If that's what they need, a scapegoat, a villain, then that's what I'll be. If that's what will bring them peace in the end, then so be it. If being hated is part of my own destiny, then I'll gladly accept it.

After all, what choice do I have?

What do I do now? I can't just sit around and wait. Well no, I guess I could. I tried to make things better already, and that backfired splendidly. I was an idiot to think I could protect them. No, not protect. I was deceiving them. Maybe Luna was right. Anything I do at this point won't have any lasting effects. I could do anything, and it wouldn't matter. I know I said that I've done everything, but that's not true. There are so many things I haven't done. I could... I could just kill somepony. You know, in cold blood. No reason, just for fun. Just something crazy spontaneous. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's thought about it. Who hasn't? I could see how many laws I can break before nightfall.

Why aren't I? It would be easy, maybe even fun. So, why am I still just walking?

I'm not actually going to do it, am I? I guess I wasn't fated to jump off the deep end today.

Nope. Today's scheduled programming seems to include a visit to the hospital. Why am I even here? Oh, that's right. I made a promise. Eight hundred years ago, I made a promise to myself. I guess I had no choice here either.

Come on now, Celestia. Just push open the door and walk in. Stop being a coward. Deep breaths. Just do it.

Here we go.

Huh. There's nopony here. I guess that's not really surprising, but I expected at least one doctor to be running around or something. Are their patients still here? Did they just leave them behind? Can I really blame them?

Wouldn't I have done the same?

That doesn't matter now. Just, do what you came here to do. Let's see, maternity ward should be right where I remember it. This way.

There they are. Oh gods, they look so peaceful. It's just... not...

Come on, just find what you came here for and get out.

Let's see. There were one... two... four...

Nine of them. Nine foals born today. That's just in this hospital. How many more are there?

Don't think about that. Just... stay focused. Where is it? Which one was born last? Ummmm... here we go. Should be this one right here. Let's see what the record says.

Wait, what's this?

"You... you don't even have a name yet."

He doesn't even have a name. No name, no cutie mark, hasn't even opened his eyes for the first time. A blank slate. A blank slate that will never be filled. Is this your fate? Who are you, exactly? Do you even have a special talent? Surely, the world wouldn't be so cruel as to bless you with a talent that was never destined to be realized. If fate had determined that the world would end on this day, then why are you here? You won't ever speak your first word, you'll barely be here long enough to display a unique personality. No name, no memories. Can you even be considered a sentient creature?

He's waking up. Did I disturb him, somehow? His face is damp. Oh, I... I didn't even notice I was crying.

"I'm sorry, little one. I didn't mean to wake you."

I had hoped he would sleep through the night. I didn't want him to be awake for this. I can't believe this. I screwed up again.

He's crying now. I... this is my fault. I made an infant cry. I guess this was my fate as well.

I'm sorry.

No. That's ridiculous. My fate? To make a child cry? The rest, maybe, but this is just absurd. No, I can fix this at least. I'll make this better. I just need to find one of the nurses.

Oh, that's right. I'm the only one here. Of course, they're all with their families right now. They must have come to the same conclusion I did. There's nothing anypony can do. No time left. No consequences.

But, this child needs somepony now. He doesn't know what's going on, he couldn't possibly understand what's happening. He just knows he's alone. The hospital staff have run away to be with their loved ones, and he's alone.

Let's see that record again. Is his mother still here? Ah, she should be in room... 206.

"Alright, come on little guy. Auntie Celestia's got you. Let's go see your mom."

He seems to like being held, the crying has died down. My magic has been known to have a sort of soothing effect. At least I can do this much for him.

Room 204... room 205... ah ha! Room 206. Found it.

She seems to be asleep. No surprise. Does she even know what's happening outside? Should I just leave her alone, to die in ignorant bliss?

"Who's there?"

Not asleep. Her voice sounds kind of scratchy, like she's been crying. I guess ignorant bliss is off the table.

"Right now? Just a concerned citizen."

"P... Princess Celestia?!"

I guess my voice is more recognizable than I thought. I'm honestly surprised she managed to jump up so quickly, considering she's supposed to be bedridden.

"W...what are you doing here?"

Good question. I promised myself 800 years ago that I wouldn't let the last born child burn alone during the end times. I'm here because your kid is the lucky winner. Congratulations.

"I found somepony downstairs. He seemed kind of lonely, thought you might want to see him."

The little colt doesn't seem too keen on letting go of my mane. It's heartwarming, but...

"Come on buddy, you need to be with your mom. She wants to see you."

We don't have time for this. Ah, that's right. Ethereal mane. Just a quick shape shift here and... he's lost his grip. Good. He didn't like that much, but it looks like she's got things under control. They do look happy together now. I should probably leave them alone. This is their time. Still, I just have to know...

"Forgive me for intruding, but I couldn't help but notice something on his record. Did you have a name in mind for him?"

Well, that sucked all the life out of the room. I thought it was an innocent enough question. Good going, Celestia. You try to do something good, and end up completely killing the mood.

"I... did. I was going to name him after his father."

"That's pretty common. You changed your mind though?"

"Sort of. When we found out about all of... well, this, he just left. Said he wasn't going to waste his last day in a hospital."

"What? How could he do that to his wife and child? What could be more important right now, of all times?"

"His mistress, apparently."

Oh. Wow. Yeah, okay, that would do it. I would feel guilty for digging up bad memories right now, but I'm guessing that's what she was crying about when I got here. Still...

"I'm... so sorry. That's just terrible. I shouldn't have pried. I should probably be going now."

"No, no. Don't worry about it, Princess. I'm really happy you're here now, actually."

"Huh?"

"I am. When the hospital staff left, I still couldn't get out of bed. I was so afraid. I didn't think I would be able to see my son again. I thought I was going to die alone, but then you showed up just now. I had just about given up hope. When everypony else left me, even my own husband, the Princess of the Sun herself came to see me. You have no idea how much this means to me."

Even if it's that very sun that caused all of this.

"Oh, no, I didn't really..."

"Thank you, Princess. I think I know what I'm going to name him now."

"Oh?"

"Yes. When I was lost to darkness, he kept me grounded, brought me back to the light. I think I'll name him Polaris."

The Guiding Star.

"How... fitting. It's a wonderful name."

"Thank you so much, Princess. For everything."

I don't deserve your thanks.

"Anytime. Now please, enjoy this time with your son. I'll leave you be."

So that's it. Joy can be found in even the darkest of times. Was this fate, too? No, that can't be. Too many coincidences, too many choices led up to that moment. The child's father chose to leave, plunging the mother into deep despair. The hospital staff chose to abandon them, condemning them both to a lonely end. And then I... I brought them together. Had I simply minded my business, or decided not to visit the hospital when I did, the fates of those two would have been drastically different.

Then there's the child. I thought him useless, destined to die as nothing. Was that true? Has anything changed? Because of my actions, he has a name now. Not entirely my actions though, he brought his own mother back from the brink of despair. Perhaps that was his purpose. Did fate decide that for him? Can fate even determine something so small in the grand scheme of things? Can one's destiny simply be to bring a smile to another?

Was I wrong?

I don't have time to think about that right now. There are still children in this building that haven't experienced the warmth of their own mother's embrace.

I still have a few more fates to change.

Flashback

Fate. Destiny.

Pathetic.

You're pathetic, trying to run from your own mistakes, blaming "fate" for your misfortunes. How could I have been so stupid?

Easy. I'm a coward.

I don't understand. I've lived a life with very few regrets. I've always done what I thought was right. I've given everything I have for my subjects. I've seen ponies die that have done far less with their lives, and yet they still died with a smile on their face.

Why can't I?

Have I not done enough? Am I not deserving of a dignified end? What do I have to do?

Why am I afraid to die?

It doesn't matter now. There's not enough time left to figure it out. I suppose I just have to accept that not everypony gets a happy ending. I had always sort of hoped that I would be one of them though. Is that selfish? It probably is.

I just want to lie down and wait for the end. Let death take me in my sleep at least. If I can't face it with dignity, then let it catch me unawares.

Hold up. I can hear something.

Someone's in my room. Who would waste their time here?

Hmm. Griffon feathers on the floor in the hall. Brown, with a little bit of... grey on the tips. Why am I not surprised? Let's see if I can sneak up on him.

Quiet. Quiet. Please don't hear me. Just a little bit closer.

"You'll have to try harder than that, Princess."

Drat. Hooves on stone is not ideal for stealth.

"As expected of my faithful student. Perhaps I've taught you too well."

"Much as I enjoy these games of yours, I hardly think now is the time to play around."

Ugh, he's right. I'm just trying to hide from my problems again. Is it so wrong to try to be happy though?

"No, you're right, of course. You seem oddly calm about all of this, Godwin."

"I've had practice keeping my cool. It comes with the territory, being your apprentice and all."

A facade, just like me. Is he hiding his fear as well?

"Is it safe to assume, Princess, that summoning the other element bearers would be a waste of time? The fact that you haven't called them already tells me this is a matter that harmony cannot solve. Am I right?"

He's a smart one. Always has been. Given a few more years, he could have gone on to do great things. Yet more wasted potential. Just another life unfulfilled.

"Right again. I knew I chose you for a reason."

Ha. Even on the brink of death, a little ego stroking still gets your feathers ruffled. Never change.

"Godwin, why aren't you with your family?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've already come to the conclusion that the elements can't help us. I have no more control over the sun. You know what that means, right? I'm sure you've already figured it out."

Don't give me that look, like you have to think about it. You and I both know what's going on here. The only difference is that I've had more time to come to terms with it.

"I've already said my goodbyes. I saw my parents just before coming here."

"There's no others?"

"You know I was always too busy for dating."

Too busy, or just uninterested? Maybe this is good, though. I could use someone to talk to right now.

Acceptance

How pathetic am I?"

"Ponies face death every day, and here I am, cowering like a sniveling child."

"What makes my life any more valuable than theirs? They are all far stronger than I."

"No. No, I know I'm not alone. There is another who understands what I'm feeling."

"She tried to help me and I pushed her away, like always."

"How could I be so blind? She needed me just as much as I needed her, and I ignored her."

"I have to find her. I have to make this right."

"Luna, please... forgive me."

I hope it's still here. It's been so many years since I've come looking for it. What if something happened to it? I really don't need this right now.

No.

Not there.

There either.

It's not... oh wait, found it. Let's see here. Key goes in lock, quick turn and... there we go. I hope the preservation spell has held.

Thank goodness. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't.

It's a shame I didn't think to cast that spell sooner. I can barely read it, the words are so faded. Such a shame. I can think of a few ponies that could have learned something.

I can think of one princess in particular who should have known better.

Huh. I think I can still make out the imprint of some of the words that used to be written here. Makes sense, I suppose. Dragons aren't usually delicate with their claws. It's very faint, there's only a few words that are clearly visible.

Your Faithful Student

Hmmm.

Not much to go on. That's alright. I can still remember what it used to say.

Her last letter.

There are very few things permanently etched in my mind. History is long and tedious, and I've lost track of what is true and what is simply rumor or legend. Perhaps I should have studied more. It's funny, I've made it my duty to instruct each new generation of magical talent, but I very much doubt that I could pass a simple history exam. What would my students think?

No, I have forgotten much over the years. Some of it on purpose, and some merely lost to the ravages of time on a weary mind. Earlier, I couldn't even recall the names of the early element bearers. I could have tried harder. I should have. They deserve better.

I have forgotten so many of their names, but never hers. Why didn't it occur earlier when I couldn't recall? Her name should have popped into my head immediately.

Perhaps, I never really thought of her as just another forgotten hero. Myths become twisted, more fantasy than fact. Legends fade over time. Notable figures become larger than life, until nothing of the real individual remains.

But, I never forget my friends.

I think I'll keep this with me for now.

I don't think I can face this alone.

I almost didn't visit. It was just too painful, but I couldn't do that to her. Not when she needed me. Not after everything she had done for me.

"Princess, is that you?"

I still don't know how I kept my composure back then. Hearing her voice like that, so weak, so fragile. I still get choked up thinking about it, but I needed to be strong, for her sake.

"I'm here. I'm right next to you."

She was a fighter, right up until the end. Robbed of her sight and too weak to stand, she still managed to push herself up to look me in the eye. Her eyes gave me chills. They were dead already, looking everywhere and nowhere at once, yet they still locked with my own. I knew at that moment, she was stronger than I could ever be. Fearless, even in the face of death.

"Princess..."

"Please, don't push yourself."

"Princess... I..."

"What is it? Do you need anything?"

"I... I left a letter for you... on the desk by the door."

Either fearless, or completely oblivious.

"I would have had Spike send it, but-"

"Shh... please, don't worry about that now. Just rest."

I shouldn't have been surprised that her top priority was still those friendship reports, even at the very end. I was actually frustrated at the time, thinking that she had spent her last days of life working on a homework assignment for me. She never thought of it as a burden though, that's just how she was. Now that I look back, I'm glad she wrote it.

Doctors hadn't expected her to hold on quite as long as she did. It was only a few extra days, but it was still seemed like a miracle. I know better now though. She couldn't let herself go. Not until she was done. Ever the faithful student.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I used to think it a shame that all ponies aren't blessed with your longevity, but I know better now. I always thought that I would fear death. I'm still not sure whether I should consider myself lucky to have outlived my friends and family. Each of their deaths scared me more than anything else, and only served to cement my own fear of the great beyond. Now that I face it myself, though, I find myself strangely calm.

I still feel like there is so much left to learn. It was always my goal to understand everything, but I don't think that was ever possible. There are some things that have always remained out of reach, even to the most diligent of scholars. There is so much left to learn in life, but life isn't eternal. Life is ever changing, and death is just the natural next step. Ponies fear the unknown, which I believe is the root cause of our fear of death. As a scholar, I have always made it a point to explore and explain the unknown, and now I realize that death should be treated no differently.

I am not afraid. Not anymore. On the contrary, the vast quantity of unknown information regarding death excites me. Will I meet my friends again? Will I simply float in a void? Regardless of the outcome, I will find an answer to a question I always thought out of my reach. I couldn't ask for a greater gift.

I know now why I used to fear death. One by one, my friends and family all left me, and a piece of me died with them. I feared death not because of pain or regret for a life unfulfilled. I feared death for its ability to tear ponies from their loved ones, and I hated it for taking my own from me. I know better now. I never feared my own death. What I truly fear is an eternal life surrounded by the deaths of those I love. Given that context, I consider death itself to be a mercy.

I know you will be around long after I am gone. This may sound odd given the circumstance, but I sincerely hope that we will meet again someday. I will continue my studies on friendship until then. Expect to read my magnum opus when that day comes.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

"I'll be looking forward to it."

"I thought I'd find you here."

"Luna."