Night-time, the time of the day that is night. When the birds go to sleep and the bats come to play, and in the library of Ponyville, a young purple dragon sat staring at a piece of paper.
“Stop mocking me,” he growled, gazing at the piece of paper as if it was going to respond.
It, of course, could not, for it was only a piece of paper and paper lacks certain appendages to allow speech. So silence reigned in response.
“Damn it paper, why won’t you do anything?! You’re useless!” The dragon moped. “Why can’t I write anything…”
“Spike?”
The drake in question cocked his head backwards. At the door frame of the basement, Twilight Sparkle stood there groggy-eyed and yawning, adorning a violet housecoat and levitating a candle.
“Oh, hey Twilight,” said Spike. “Was I being too loud?”
“It’s two in the morning,” groaned the purple mare. “What in Equestria are you doing up at this hour?”
“I’m trying to write something but this damn piece of paper won’t do anything!”
“Spike, you know perfectly well how paper works,” she said. “You write letters for me all the time.”
“No, really?” Muttered the dragon sarcastically.
“Well, somepony’s being a bit of a grumpasaurous right now.”
“Well, I have been awake for over twenty-four hours,” said Spike.
“Then maybe you should go to sleep?”
“… maybe you should… go to… sleep? That was awful.”
“You see,” smiled Twilight. “You can’t even come up with a decent comeback. Can’t you finish doing whatever you’re doing in the morning? You have the day off.”
“I can’t!” The dragon moaned, slamming his face onto the table in front of him. “I need to get it done now! Do you have any idea what tomorrow is?!”
“Of course I do, it’s—oh…” gulped Twilight, the sudden realization of what Spike was trying to accomplish hit her like a rock. “It’s Hearts and Hooves Day.”
“Not just any Hearts and Hooves Day,” mumbled Spike. “It’s going to be the seventh Hearts and Hooves Day since we moved here to Ponyville. It’ll be the seventh Hearts and Hooves Day that I’ve known Rarity and it’s going to be the seventh Hearts and Hooves day that I won’t be able to tell her how I feel and she’ll never be my super special awesome somepony!”
“Spike…” Twilight started, pausing for a moment to find something to follow up with. “You’re a great dragon, and anypony would be lucky to have you.”
“But I don’t want just anypony,” he said. “I want Rarity. That’s why I want to get this written down and tell her how I feel. I have all these great and romantic ideas in my head but when I look at this stupid piece of paper they all get flushed down the crapper.”
“The crapper?”
“Oh right, ponies don’t use toilets…”
“What’s a toilet?”
“Nothing,” the dragon said, shaking his head. “It’s not important. What is important is that I have to get something down before tomorrow morning.”
“And why do you need to write something down?” Twilight asked, tilting her head.
“Do you remember last year? When I tried to give her chocolates but then had nothing to say afterwards and I just stood there garbling like an idiot until that damn Thunderlane showed up and stole my thunder. Do you remember that?”
“I remember Thunderlane,” Twilight sighed dreamingly. “That is one piece of pegasi.”
“You’re not helping,” deadpanned Spike.
“What I wouldn’t give to spend an hour alone with him.”
“Please stop,” said Spike. “The guy’s like my arch enemy. Besides, I thought you liked Big Macintosh.”
“Heh, yeah right,” giggled the unicorn. “Everypony knows he’s gay for Caramel.”
“Aren’t they related?”
“I don’t know, maybe,” said Twilight, “Nopony seems to care enough to do anything about it.”
“Gross,” mumbled Spike, who began to stare back at the piece of paper. “This thing has to be enchanted, it’s sucking all of my ideas from my head.”
“It is not,” groaned the mare. “That’s like saying Timberwolves work for the government. The very idea is just… silly.”
“The Princesses can have Ursa Majors under their employment for all I care,” said Spike. “If it could make me write something down—“
“Okay, you know what? Here!” Twilight growled, marching over to the desk and picking up the pencil with her magic. She quickly scribbled a few words on the piece of paper and placed the pencil down. “There, tell her that tomorrow. Now go the buck to sleep.”
Spike scanned what Twilight had written down on the paper, pre-reading it several times to make sure he was absolutely clear what she wanted him to say. “Twilight, are you sure this will work? This seems kind of… cutthroat.”
“I have no idea,” she muttered. “And my ability to give a crap passed out around midnight.”
“Okay…” nodded Spike as Twilight started to walk out the door. “Oh and Twilight…”
“Yes, Spike?”
“Thanks.”
Twilight smiled. “Go to sleep, mister.”
*****
The next morning came with the hastening speed of daybreak. Today was the day, the day he had been dreading and praying to come since last year’s Hearts and Hooves Day. All across Ponyville, the ponies were waking up with their loved ones, making special heart-shaped pancakes or handing out colourful cards and candies. Some ponies would have special breakfast dates at the local restaurants while others would just sleep away the day in bed with their special somepony.
Regardless as to how others would spend this love-fuelled holiday, Spike had gotten up with the sun and was ready to go minutes after eating and showering. He remembered to grab the slip of paper that Twilight had written on last night. If she was right about this, he could finally tell Rarity how he felt, and hopefully, have a special somepony. Or to Spike, the special somepony.
The dragon kicked open the door and started the walk to Carousel Boutique. There were others up and about as well, probably heading to a romantic breakfast or just a walk with their loved ones. The aroma of sweets and roses plagued the air with their sweet scents and smells. Every which way he looked he saw couples walking side-by-side and nuzzling one another. Soon, he hoped to join them in the bliss of this holiday.
“I can do this…” huffed Spike, taking a deep breath. “I can do this…”
“Well, well, well…” a snide, mocking voice screeched from behind him. “If it isn’t Spike the dragon…”
Spike’s brow furrowed as he turned around, “Hello, Thunderlane… or should I say, Thunderlame.”
“Hardy-bucking-har!” The dark pegasus laughed with fake enthusiasm. “Where are you off to? Don’t tell me you’re going to my marefriend’s house.”
“No, I’m not meeting your mom till later today,” grinned the drake.
“We’re just full of jokes today, aren’t we?” Thunderlane growled. “When will you get it through your head that Rarity doesn’t like you?”
“I was going to ask you the same question.”
“She totally digs me,” barked the pegasus. “We’ve had sex like, a million times.”
“Again, we’re not talking about your mom here.”
“Shut up, you stupid lizard! I’ll beat you to a pulp!”
“Who, me? Or your mother?”
“That’s it!” Screamed Thunderlane as he got up on his hind legs. “Put ‘em up, it’s go time!”
“Bring it!” Roared Spike as he extended his claws.
“Both of you stop it!” A voice from behind roared, causing both hot-blooded males to turn head. Running towards them from the distance was Twilight. “Fighting never solved anything.”
“Twilight? What’re you doing here?” Spike asked, lowering his claws.
“I came here to help. I had a feeling that sexy Thunderlane would try to get to Rarity before you did, so I ran here as fast as I could.”
“Wait, you think I’m sexy?” Thunderlane wondered, taken aback by the compliment.
“Of course, ever since you ran by me seven years ago my loins haven’t stopped aching for you,” she smiled seductively. “It’s taken everything in my power not to just devour you on sight.”
“Okay…”
“Thunderlane, my love for you is like a loving stream of lovingness, always pouring down the lovely waters of love until I am so full I could burst! I need you Thunder! Rock my world!”
“Umm, Twilight,” trembled the stallion. “You’re sort of freaking me out.”
“Freak? That’s a great idea!” The unicorn smiled wickedly. She grabbed the dark-coated pegasi with her magic and started dragging him closer. “Let’s go back to the library and freak!”
“Wait, no!” Screamed Thunderlane. “Let me go, you’re a crazy pony!”
“Oh, trust me,” replied Twilight. “You’re about to see how crazy I can get.”
“Ah! Somepony help me!” Thunderlane screamed again as he was dragged down the street, slowly disappearing in the distance, leaving Spike standing in the middle of the road dumbfounded.
“Oh goddess…” he said to himself. “Twilight’s going to rape Thunderlane…” his lips slowly curled up. “Thanks, Twilight,” he said as he continued to walk towards the boutique, seeing it on the horizon. Not many ponies needed a new dress on Hearts and Hooves Day, so her home was fairly deserted.
He finally reached the front door.
“Okay, I can do this…” Spike said, trying to control his racing heartbeat. With his head held high, he raised his hand and rang the doorbell. The chimes of the ring echoed musically through the air.
“Coming!” An angelic voice called from beyond the door. A few moments later, it swung open, presenting the most beautiful unicorn in existence. “Spikey-wikey, so nice to see you today. How’s your Hearts and Hooves Day going so far? Any pretty mares this year?” She winked.
“H-hello, Rarity,” he sputtered, his face turning beet red as his shaky claws slowly raised the piece of paper. “I-I h-h-h-have something t-to say.”
“Oh,” she smiled. “Do tell.”
“I…” he looked down at the piece of paper and the words on it. It was now or never. “R-Rarity, we’ve known each other for a-a very long time.”
“And it’s been wonderful,” she interjected. “You and Twilight are two of my best friends.”
“Yeah,” Spike nodded as he continued. “And I’ve always valued your friendship as well. But from th-the moment I first laid my eyes on you… I… I’ve always wanted more.”
There was silence. Spike gulped as he kept going.
“I’ve tried for over seven years to tell you how I feel, to write an epic ballad or love poem for you. It’s what you deserve, it’s what I wanted to give you. But whenever I try to put my words onto paper they never come out the way I want them to.”
Spike was starting to get a little worried. Rarity’s expression hadn’t changed since he started talking. There was no sign of growing excitement in her eyes or her grin widening. Just the same friendly smile he had fallen for.
“I was up all night trying to write a big speech about how I feel,” Spike said. “But finally, at two in the morning, Twilight wrote this down for me…”
He handed the beauty the slip of paper. She took it from his claws and flipped it around and read the three words that Twilight had written down last night.
“I love you,” she said.
Spike nodded. “That’s all she wrote. No fancy speech, no devoting poem, just… I love you, Rarity.”
Rarity looked down at the piece of paper before handing it back to Spike.
“Well, it’s about time you said it,” she smiled.
“Okay,” sighed Spike. “I understand—wait, what?!”
“It’s about time you finally admitted it,” the mare giggled. “I’ve been waiting for over seven years now. You really know how to keep a girl in suspense.”
“You… you knew?!”
“Well, it’s not exactly a well-kept secret, Spike,” Rarity said. “At least, not on your behalf, but now I can finally tell that Thunderlane to leave me alone. Honestly, he saves my life once and he thinks we’re going steady.”
“So… you like me back?”
“Of course, dear,” she smiled. “I love you too, my little Spikey-wikey.”
“That’s… that’s fantastic!” Spike said excitedly. “So… would you want to go out on a date today?”
“Well, I was actually thinking—“
“We could go to the park, or the movies, or a restaurant.”
“Spike I—“
“Or a trip, the lake, back to the library.”
“Spike—“
“No, wait, we can’t go back to the library.”
“SPIKE!” Rarity shouted, placing a hoof over his mouth to shut him up. “May I offer an idea?”
The dragon nodded.
“How about…” the mare started to say, a sly grin began to grow upon her face. “We skip to the part where you kiss me.”
<3THE END<3
Author's Note
Written in about 109 minutes. Love is wherever you find it no matter what shape or form. Have a happy Hearts and Hooves Day and remember to wear a condom.
Edited by FluttershyisMetal. He's awesome.
