Fallout: Equestria - Purity

A Fo:E side story by StormbadgerXIII

Chapter 4 - Vanhoover

"Uh, do be a polite house guest and go wash up please, won't you?"

The Wasteland must hate me.

Seriously, I swear it was already out to break me and I had only been down here less than a day. First the savage ponies and their handiwork, then the magic-filled metal tomb of a Stable...

And now in what I thought was a civilised place, someone was pointing a gun at me.

"Stop right there or Ah'll shoot ya where ya stand!" the voice called out, resting the long-barrelled weapon in his forehooves with the trigger bit in his mouth. Not wanting to get perforated, I stopped in my tracks. Final was smart enough to do the same thing.

"We don't mean you any harm!" I shouted back. "We just need a place to stay and recover!"

The voice was silent for a while. "Where ya from?"

"Feathertip!" I returned.

"Where the hay's that?"

I stopped. "It's... uh... a few days trot from here!"

"Ah ain't never heard of a 'Feathertip' before!" I caught wind of something on his end going click. "Last time Ah ask, where ya from?"

I sighed. "We're from Feathertip, a cloud city!"

"A cloud city? So y'all are Enclave or sommat?"

"No, we're Dashites!"

"...The fuck is a Dashite?"

"It means traitor! Can we come in now? We have goods to sell!"

The guard was silent for a moment, before he lowered the rifle. "Alright, y'all can come in, just don't start nothin' or we'll hafta have a talk!"

"Thank you!" I replied, before trotting forward towards towards the walls. With a hum of an engine and a horrible grinding noise, part of the wall broke into two, opening just enough for one pony to walk in without too much difficulty. We got through no problem, Final flying above me.

Once we walked in, the door grinded shut again, and I took the opportunity to have a look around the city. The city was a little more sparse than I though it was, or at least it was around the large tower, which was itself surrounded by a circle of pavement. A number of hoof-made stalls and shops were set up, made out of old buildings and plates of metal. Some buildings attempted to reach the height of the star-marked building, but had crumbled around the third storey. Ponies, some with horns, some with guns, some with armour, all trotted about on their own or in small groups. A small party of foals galloped around, chasing after a shaggy black creature with some white stripes across it's coat from muzzle to tail.

A nostalgic feeling poked me in the chest.

A quartet of hooves dropped down beside us - it was the stallion with the large rifle that was threatening to scatter my skull. He wore some sort of duster and had some sort of broad-brimmed hat on his head. He turned to me and smirked.

"Well, them's some fancy steel on ya."

"Thanks," I said, glancing at my hooves. "Experimental tech."

"'S'long as it stops a bullet it's fine by me," His accent reminded me of the pegasus ponies from Neighvarro... weird. "Guess Ah should welcome ya t' Vanhoover, City of Heroes and the last bastion of decency in this whole dayum hellhole."

"Aside from pointing guns at complete strangers," Final joked. The stallion didn't buy it.

"Jus' protectin' muh town. Y'all came from the direction of the raider camp, so Ah had t'make sure."

I flared my wings slowly. "And these didn't give it away?"

"This rifle o'mine don't have a scope."

I mouthed an 'oh'. "Well, thank you for not shooting us."

The stallion nickered, pushing his hat down on his head. "Ain't no prob."

After a moment's silence, I asked "By the way, where's the general store?"

The guard pushed his hat back up and pointed down a fair way. "Third store on the right, next t' the Crispy Stoat."

Final snorted.

"Can't miss it, got a big sign on it what's been painted over."

"Right." I said, filing the directions away in my head. "And where's a place we can stay?"

"That'd be the Crispy Stoat."

I nodded, giving a glare to Final, who looked like she was struggling with a laugh. Thanking the guard, who simply tipped his hat in return, I started heading further into town. I could have taken to the air, hovered above everyone, but it might have been a little rude of me to do so.

As I headed towards the general store, I couldn't help but notice the stares I was getting. Everypony except Final and the stallion who greeted us into town glanced over this way. Some with curiosity, some with a gaze that could only be wishing ill on us. A foal was trying to wriggle free of his mother's grip to no avail. A few mouths hovered above pistols.

In all honesty, I couldn't blame them for being cautious. If the raiders were anything to go by, then the Wasteland was barely survivable as is with the crazy ones wanting to... well... do raider-y things to ponies. And then, here we are, a couple of winged ponies in strange armour with fancy glowing guns walking around with a bit of blood on them (the unfortunate result of an exposee who decided he wanted to explode on us when we shot him). I had already powered down the weapons, of course, but I guess ponies who hadn't seen energy weapons wouldn't know.

The store, which was merely a square of brick with the words 'General Store' over a pre-existing sign, a few broken windows looking in and a series of plates of corrugated sheets of metal covering up some holes in the structure, looked fairly derelict - there were less ponies then I had expected to be around here. The stores in Feathertip usually had more ponies than this. Mentally shrugging I trotted in.

The store was dimly-lit, the light being filtered by both the curtains and the dirty glass behind them, casting a yellow-orange light over the shelves. Dust motes hovered in the air, and I felt a sudden and startling reluctance to breathe. Bent shelving frames sat around, their contents proudly displayed or otherwise on the floor in various states of disrepair. A rack of ballistic weapons of various sizes were mounted on the wall opposite the entrance, grimy and rusty. On top of the counter there were numerous exhibits, such as boxes and bottles and a couple of weapon clips and some books. And, amongst it all, was an equally dirty-orange-beige pony who blended perfectly with the surroundings, who was too busy trying to fit a weapon up onto the rack in such a way that I feared he'd break it.

"Excuse me-" I said.

"Wait a bloody moment!" the stallion called back suddenly in a voice that was lighter than I had expected. He had a rather... strange accent, too. "I'm a bit busy, Luna-dammit!"

I blinked, raising an eyebrow. "We have-"

"I said wait!" he snapped.

So I waited. For at least five minutes, if my suits clock was anything to go by. Final seemed to be growing impatient. The orange buck was still cursing and trying to break the gun with his ineptitude. I cleared my throat.

"You're still here?" He quipped, glancing back at us. I'm not sure what caught his eyes first - my armour, my weapons, my wings, or my bulging saddlebags. Considering where his eyes lingered the most, it was probably the saddlebags.

"Yeah, of course we're here," Final said, eyebrow arching up. "We've been waiting for you to finish for about five minutes."

"Well, y'ah should have said you had goods to trade," He rolled his eyes.

"I tried to but you interrupted me," I mentioned.

"Well... um... ugh, this gun won't even fit." He growled, tossing the gun to the side and dropping back down to the floor, whirling to face us with a peculiar twinkle in his eyes, his flanks appropriately displaying a pair of cash bags. "Alright then, whatcha guys got?"

"Ok, the health potions I can understand, and that Wasteland Survival Guide, and the ammo and the ballistic weapon... and the food," Final said, taking another swill of her Sparkle~Cola. "But why the Rainbow Dash?"

I looked up from the cyan plushie of Rainbow Dash, raising an eyebrow at Final. "Because we needed an equal trade and this covered the costs." It turns out one reason the raiders might have stockpiled so many bottle caps was that they were used as money. All the loot we had found had landed us quite a lot of 'caps', and as a trade off we had brought as much ammo as we could afford, both for our energy weapons and Euthaniser (Final wanted to keep it). Besides, we were Dashites - traitors to the GPE and the followers of the actual mare this adorable, huggable pony represented; I thought it would be appropriate to have one of these plushes. And there were heaps in stock; Baggy, the trader, had said that nobody ever brought the plushies.

Of course, a full-grown stallion with a plush of Rainbow Dash in the middle of the tavern area of 'The Crispy Stoat' was worthy of a hundred stares.

"Put that thing away before somepony thinks you're crazy," Final laughed, playfully hitting me in the shoulder. I gave the plush one more look, slid it into my saddlebags and took another swill of my purified water. It was fairly expensive but it did the job.

"We ought to look for work here," I said after a while.

"Good idea." Final nodded, before chugging down more of her drink. We had both decided not to touch any of the alcohol - I wanted to stay dry and Final was an incredible lightweight. "Where do we go for that?"

"I dunno," I said, shrugging. "Guess we go ask around?"

"You sure that's a good idea?" Final cocked her head in a rather adorable fashion. "I mean, if we just walk up to any pony they might wanna shoot us or something."

A couple of the others in the bar nickered.

"Final, mind the company we're in," I said in a hushed voice. "Maybe we could ask the barkeeper if he knows anypony who needs some work done for them."

"Or," a third voice said; a mare, but deep and gruff. "I'll take ya to one of them ponies."

"Or that, that's a good-wait a minute!" Final said, whirling to meet this new pony's gaze. I glanced over, and saw the towering powerhouse in a vague pony shape looming over us. "Who the hell-"

"Shut up. The Mayor wants to see you," the titanic motherbucker of a pony added.

"The mayor?" I asked. "Why the mayor?"

"Fuck if I know, but that's m' orders," she replied.

Final and I exchanged glances. This was either really damn good or really damn bad.

"I've got a job for you," the well-groomed buck behind the mahogany desk said. He leaned forward and pressed his hooves together.

"Alright," I said, wishing that the ponies who let me in hadn't confiscated all my weapons - it wasn't that I distrusted this stallion, I just felt a little naked without some way to defend myself. "But I want to know what the mission is before I do it."

"Fine fine." The mayor pushed his spectacles up his face a little. "I sent a group of well-armed and well-armoured ponies up to the higher levels of the tower we're in." He pointed up as he mentioned it - his office was on the ground floor of the skyscraper we had seen on our way here. "They haven't been heard from in a long while. Their supplies should have run out by now."

"So what do you want me to do?" I said after a second.

"Go in the way they came, and find out what happened. And, if at all possible, find something we down here can use and bring it here." He sighed. "It's no secret this town's in a pretty awkward position - we've been able to repel raiders and even the odd alicorn-" Wait, alicorn? "-but we haven't got enough resources to keep it up. We're running shorter on ammo and food, our guns are getting worse, our armour's falling apart..."

He reached up and rubbed his temples. "Every day I feel we're slipping closer to oblivion. Soon, we'll have to send parties out to scour the ruins, and if worse comes to worse we might have to raid places. I don't want these good ponies becoming raiders."

"What about trading?" I asked, scratching the back of my head.

"We've got raiders on the path to Mustangia, more between us and Harmony, even Gintown, a whole mountainload of alicorns up near 'New Alicornia' or whatever those freaks call it." He sighed. "There just isn't any way we can get past them without making our guards better."

...and the guards needed the items from trade to be better to be able to trade to be... Ok, I could see his point.

"Alright, consider it done," I said, holding out a hoof.

"Huh? What- oh, the job. Right. We'll settle payment when you come back," he muttered, waving me off. "I appreciate this, but I'm afraid you have to get going now. I have other business to attend to."

"So, how'd it go?" Final asked, sitting on a chair outside of the office. "Good, bad, ohgoodnesswe'reallgonnadie?" As I walked past her, she flapped her wings and took to the air.

"We've got a job," I said.

"Sweet." She floated beside me. "What's the mission?"

I explained it as best I could, Final nodding along. I had decided we would embark on the mission tomorrow, spending tonight resting and relaxing so that we were ready for it. As the light began to fade, we decided to spend what little of it remaining to explore the city, get to know this place pretty well. It was a decent enough place, everyone was nice and polite, but they kept staring at us.

This mission would be easier for us if we hadn't been told we had to take the same entrance into the tower as the previous team had - we would just fly up to the windows and look in, maybe break one open and fly inside. Instead, we had to take the makeshift stairs at the 'back' of the building, moving through a concentrated population of the local pest/foodstock, also known as a 'radger' - badgers that had been exposed to too much radiation. Why anypony would even consider eating meat, let alone irradiated meat, was beyond me, but looking around, growing crops would be pretty hard normally.

At least there's protein in it.

I had spent a lot of time looking up at the sky, wondering how everypony else was doing. No doubt some of my ex-squadmates weren't very pleased I decided to leave, no matter the reason. I half-expected some sort of publicity campaign to go out about us. Heck, I'd be surprised if they didn't send some of their own to find us, track us down, and burn off our cutie marks. Or worse, just shoot us and say that they were attacked. I wondered what would happen to my house and, by extention, everything that I didn't take with me.

A small part of me urged me to give all of this up and fly back to Feathertip. It's pointless to try and help when you can't even do anything, it said. But another part, a part which had been encouraged by the words of wisdom by my father, spurred me onto this little quest, to try and make life in this area better... and maybe find Dad too. I'm sure he'll hate me for going down here, but, truth be told, he did say I could do whatever I wanted as long as it felt right and did more harm than good.

Stiffling a yawn I decided it would be best if we retired for the night. We returned to the Crispy Stoat, gave the buck at the counter some caps in exchange for a night, but was surprised to hear he only had one single room left, and that room was only designed to fit one pony. It'd have to do. I volunteered to sleep on the floor.

Entering the room, Final immediately rushed to the bed and jumped on it. I grabbed some of the spare bedding from the cupboards and piled them into the centre of the room, tossed the stealth armour aside, and lay down. The pile did barely anything to help.

Final and I exchanged out good nights, and I closed my eyes. I couldn't sleep though - not only was I scared I'd have another nightmare, but there were some ponies in one of the rooms adjacent who were really going at it, creating enough noise to stop me sleeping. I could have told them to stop, but I honestly didn't want to interrupt them mid-act. And, even then, I doubt they'd stop anyway. Final, who was facing away from me and had covered herself in a blanket, made an adorable noise that could be best described as a happy whimper (not a particularily good description, I should add). I found myself blushing a little from many feelings and, aggrovatingly, I felt a stirring between my hindlegs which I so desperately tried to ignore.

Groaning with annoyance, I took one of the holotapes from my saddlebag; the one we got from the medical clinic. I pulled the earbuds from the PipBuck, loaded the tape in, and listened. The voice which came on was hoarse and gruff, definately female, but had a hint of... what was it? Compassion?

"-fucking work- oh, shit, it's on! Ahem... Doctor's audio log, number 1. We're now performing surgery on Mic Soundwave to see about removing the barding that has fused to his coat through Arcane Liquified Coat Syndrome... or something. Either way.

We're starting with some localised anaesthetic to the affected area-" a little squishy noise "-and we're hoping he doesn't awaken mid-proceedure. F-... Luna knows what'd happen."

A lot of the tape was medical jargon I only half got, with some pretty stomach-turning noises in the background. Or was that from next door? It was hard to tell.

In an instant, the entire audio changed.

"Doctor?" A young buck squeaked. "I think he's waking up!"

"What?!"

Soon enough, a blood-curdling howl came from the earbuds, as the long-dead Mic's recorded voice began screaming in pain. Or horror. A horrible ripping noise and, with a scream, the body of the young stallion hit the ground. Grunting and babbling came from the DJ, with some deeper voices bellowing for somepony to do something to stop this psychotic patient.

A roar of a familiar gun answered their heeds.

"You just shot him!"

"Of course I fucking shot him! He just used a bonesaw to attack Knit."

"Aaauuugghghhhh!"

"Ah fuck, get me those bandages and antiseptic!"

"Y-yes ma'am!"

"Hold on, Knit, yer gonna be fine."

"My eye... I can't see out of my eye..."

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck... oh fuck, his girlfriend's gonna be so..."

"Here's the stuff!"

"About fucking time! Give it here! ... Ok, I hate to do this too ya, Knitty, but this is gonna hurt like a bitch."

"W-w-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

The doctor, Funnel, sounded like she was starting to cry, even while Knit was screaming in a pain I could only imagine.

"Doc, the recording-"

"Turn it off! Turn that fucking thing off!"

"But-"

"Do it! The Overmare does not get to hear this!"

"Yes ma'am!"

Click.

I released a breath I didn't realise I was holding in, my wings drooping by my sides. My emotions were all messed up inside, anger and sadness being foremost. I wanted to travel back in time, and kick Twilight Sparkle in the mouth for being so stupid and causing this much pain to ponies, but I had no way of doing it. Not only that, but Knit would have been half-blind and, most likely, traumatised by the events.

The couple across from us still weren't finished. Final could probably hear it too, as her wings were stretched out and stiff. I sighed, and grabbed the second holotape - the first of three from the Overmare's office. I had given one, the message from Scootaloo, to Final already. Trembling from the shock of the last tape, I hesitantly loaded the next one up. This one had 'Welcome! 2' written on the label.

"Hello, this is the Overmare of Stable 73. Or, well, ex. If you're listening to this, then I have passed the mantle and the next Overmare has been elected. That Overmare being you.

"You may have heard the holotape message from Scootaloo, which is entitled 'Welcome'. And I assume you've read the briefing report.

"I want you to know that, no matter what happens, you are not responsible for anything that may happen to the Stable's population.

"I am.

"You see, I've made some... adjustments to the plan. I've made sure that it's impossible to stop the experiment, no matter how hard you try. The only way to even begin to stop it is to destroy the vats... or kill everypony.

"Actually, scratch that, the only way to stop it is to kill everypony or force them out of the Stable - attempting to destroy the vats won't work and may, in fact, make things worse.

"Twilight Sparkle was an important mare, and we should honour her by allowing her to finish this one last experiment.

"That's all I have to add. Remember your duty. And good luck."

Click.

The storm of emotion from the doctor's log coalesced into anger. I grabbed the holotape, yanked it out of the PipBuck, and raised my hoof to throw it away... but decided that it wasn't worth it. Though... I began to question why I had been so nice to the dead body of the Overmare if she was so... so...

I looked at the last holotape. The label remained unmarked, and it did look fairly clean. Shrugging, I placed it in the slot and tapped 'play'. The tape was so quiet that I didn't think it was working at first, until I heard a little gasp and some sobbing.

"It's too late...

"The entire Stable... dead... because of some bitch of a Twilight fanfilly!"

Crash.

"How could she do this...? How could anypony do this...?

"When I became Overmare of the Stable, I didn't want to become the Overmare of a Stable who's slowly being poisoned with no cure... or a Stable where all the trained ponies who could fix this whole thing fled... or a Stable of zombies...

Ok, so the Overmare I had found wasn't the one who killed them all. Good.

I felt my eyelids growing heavy. Too much emotion, not enough sleep. I closed my eyes and let my head fall gently to the ground, hanging onto enough consciousness to finish the tape.

"I've... I've been having bad dreams... of the Stable. Not like it is now, though... really bad... some sort of zebra thingywhatsit... I don't know...

"If anypony finds this holotape, please... I just want to let whoever cares know... I'm sorry..."

The sound of a locker being opened, then shut quietly. Softly, the Overmare continued.

"...hush now, quiet now... time to lay your s-sleepy head..."

I'm not sure when I had fallen asleep, but the recording had stopped while I was asleep. I groggily opened an eye, and swatted the earbuds out of my sore ears with a hoof, before sitting up. Idly scratching my mane, I looked over to Final. She had rolled onto her back, and one of her forehooves hung limply over the edge.

"Final..." I softly said, before yawning. An ear twitch was the only response I got.

Groaning with frustration, I rose to my hooves and trotted a few steps to her. I was about to call her name out again when I caught odour of something strange.

The little damp patch on the blanket was all the evidence I needed.

I felt my face grow red and my wings stiffen a little. I turned away and hyperventilated, which only got worse as Final groaned and stretched.

"Oheeeyy Nimbus..." Finaly drawled, sitting up and scratching her mane. "Mornin'..."

"Morning!" I too-quickly replied.

Final was silent for a second. "You ok-"

"Fine fine yes good everything's fine!"

"...okaaaay..." Final muttered, yawning soon after. I dared to look back at her, and in the corner of my eye I saw her noticing the patch too.

"..."

"..."

"What? They were noisy."

"Too much info, Final!"

After that little embarrassment, and some light breakfast (no meat, which surprised the burly stallion who served us), Final and I set forth to the MAS hub. A guard was waiting for us at the gate to the sealed-off area we had to trek through, and kindly opened it for us. Final mentioned, probably not too wisely, that we didn't need to go through the gate to enter, but the guard mare just shrugged and stepped aside to let us past.

We had walked no less than a metre before one of the radgers tried to eat us. They were heavy, but couldn't take as much damage as I thought, as the puddle of glowing goo proudly displayed. The area itself was little more than browned and withered plants, with the only very occasional patch of green or, well, any living flora. A couple of piles of rubble that only vaguely hinted at a building once being there rested amongst the area, and the radgers themselves were wandering around. A half-stairwell, half-ramp made out of sheets of metal and piles of stone rose up into a hole in the rear of the building where part of the wall had collapsed or been blown off.

I nodded to my friend, and jumped up into the air, flapping my wings and hovering in place. Final followed suit, and we decided to skip fighting all the damn creatures and just land inside the building. The radgers made hissing noises as we flew over but otherwise did nothing.

The entrance itself was dimly lit, and already we spotted one body - a mare who had been pressing on a wound to her stomach, her back on the wall and her face still, eyes closed. I gave her a nod of my head, and I spotted a holotape next to her, a tiny splatter of blood on it. I gingerly picked it up and, bringing the PipBuck out, began playing it, making sure to not use the ear bloom so that Final could hear it.

I swear I would have a hundred of these things in a few months.

"Powder's mission log, tape one.

"I'm leaving this behind just in case we all die, which I have a horrible feeling we will. Still wondering why I took the mission.

"Anyway, getting in wasn't too hard, but Duck 'n' Cover took a nasty bite to the stomach. She's been bleeding out slowly, and we don't have any health potions because somepony broke them. Yes, I'm looking at you, Drop.

"Duck's almost dead, the doc says. Something about a mix of bloodloss and poisoning. I don't think radgers' are poisonous, but I could be wrong. Anyway, she's unable to move, and she can't speak, only grunt in pain. It's a horrible sight, but she's probably getting the best death out of us all.

"Yes, Drop, I'm morbid, now shut up and don't touch anything.

"So yeah, we're probably dead by now. Fortunately I asked to get paid up front first, so I had some fun last night.

"Well... see you, I guess."

The holotape clicked off. Final and I looked at each other, and I could sense she was thinking much the same as I was.

This wasn't going to be a simple mission.

Until now I had never seen a robot before. They were always some sort of geeky sci-fi thing to me. I knew they were real, but having not seen them, I had a hard time believing it.

The pony-shaped robot in front of me, the one who had been shooting a lot of laser bolts in my general direction, seemed keen on telling me that, yes, he did exist.

I ducked behind cover, silently cursing as another crimson line lanced past my head, sizzling the wall where my head had been not a second earlier. I dropped the spent energy cell from my rifle, and quickly fumbled with another, slotting it in cautiously. Sometimes I wish I had telekinesis or something.

Final, who was behind a piece of wall on the opposite side of the hall to me, gave me a worried look. I returned it with a sheepish grin, spinning around the corner to blast the robot a few more times. The casing was warped where it hit, and something inside made a pop, but it kept trotting along, zapping a couple more shots at me from its muzzle. It had taken quite a lot of damage already and it limped on one leg towards us.

My friend leaned out with the pistol in her mouth and let a few shots loose. One hit the head casing but aside from the distortion, it again did nothing. I did, however, spot the shots going a lot wider than they had.

"Stand back while this tresspasser is dealt with," the robot monotoned. I looked at Final again, waiting for one of her amazing lucky plans. She looked like she was struggling for one, and pulled out one of her plasma apple-grenades. As far as I knew, she only had three left.

"Should I-?"

"Do it!" I shouted back, waving a hoof in the direction of our artificial assailant.

She hesitated a moment, before dropping the plasma grenade and pulling out a similar one with a blue ring around the body. Neither of us really knew what they did, but if it was a grenade, it probably would so some damage. She bit off the stem and rolled it through the doorway.

A split second after it stopped rolling, the grenade exploded, but rather than a brilliant green pyrotechnic display, a sphere of lightning arced out. The hoof I accidentally had in range only felt a little tingly, but the robot sizzled and blarped before the head casing exploded, the rest of the body falling limp, smoke wafting from it.

Relief washed over me as Final laughed madly, drifting forwards and pulling parts from the robot. A few energy cells and a small pile of parts that looked like they could have some vague use was all that she could retrieve.

We chose to sneak through the rest of the building, taking the long way to the top floor as not to risk waking up more robots than we could handle at once - the moment they spotted us, they'd start looking for us, and if they all saw us...

From what we could tell, from the seventh storey up, the centre of the halls were cut in the centre, providing an open area which here the acrophobic ponies who worked here could be terrified of. In the centre of that area, at the bottom floor, was a long-dried-up fountain with a statue - from what I could tell it was one of a proud unicorn mare with a cutie mark similar to the one that had been placed on the building's front. I started wondering who it was; after I dealt with this area I'd have to go check it out.

As we walked, I found a couple of piles of ash, with some ballistic weapons laying beside them, a perforated robot in the corner of the room. Final quickly scooped the guns up, and I managed to find yet another holotape.

"Celestia-dammit, this is getting ridiculous.

"Already half our ponies have died; the doc and our hacker just now. Turns out there's a bunch of active robots in here who don't take kindly to ponies wandering the halls.

"Not only that, but there's some crazy motherfucker on the PA system who, aside from sounding completely insane, seems to think he's the robots' master or some shit. I dunno, it hurt just to hear him.

"Dyson thinks we should get the buck out of here, but I'm not leaving until I find that idiot on the PA and blow his brains over the wall. He can leave if he wants.

"...and he did. I have to admit, he's the smartest one of us. Not like 'brainy' smart like the late doc and Bypass, but just... smart. Honestly, I envy him.

"I should follow him... but I don't abandon a mission."

"Geez, what an idiot." Final muttered as she pocketed the energy cells from the robots.

I shrugged, crouching low again and sneaking forward. We had snuck past a couple of robots, though I was seriously tempted to shoot them while I could get a good shot in. Maybe damage that important-looking thing on their backs? I ignored my urge to scrap these robots and kept creeping forward. Final followed suit.

"Fools!" the PA system kicked into life with a screech. "How dare you tresspass in our territory! Do you know who you're dealing with?"

Final smirked and shouted "nnnope!" It sounded kind of pathetic in comparison, but I found myself grinning.

"You are in the home of Omnipotentius, the All-Mighty God of Vanhoover and the Master of Mechanical Monstrosities! Kneel before the might of our legions of Roboponies!"

The only robot in sight walked off the edge of a walkway, plummeting down and shattering on the floor.

"Uh-That one was a traitor! We commanded it to walk off the edge as punishment for his crimes! Crimes you will be disintegrated for!"

Final and I gave each other confused glances before we both burst out into laughter.

"Silence!"

We couldn't stop laughing. My sides hurt, and Final had tears in her eyes.

"Silence, I say!"

"Ahahaha- oh gosh, stop, I can't- hahahah!" Final barely squeaked.

"...Very well, if you won't be silent, I'll make you be silent!"

The threat would have been all the more serious if it weren't for the fact he seemed utterly incompetent. Almost nothing would stop us from laughing our haunches off.

'Almost nothing' took the form of a trundling bastard child of a tank and robopony, with a missile pod on its back and a giant chest-mounted gun pointing right at us.

Final's smile instantly dropped.

"Fuck."

"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate robots?" I grumbled as I slammed the door to the room shut.

"Three times from when that motherbucker appeared," Final replied curtly. The sudden and strong vibrations on the walls and doors told us that a) this robot was still shooting at us, and b) this room's exterior surfaces were heavily reinforced. That being said, I was starting to worry that this room would be dislodged as the walls and rooves around it were sundered.

"Ok, seriously, how the fuck do we kill something like that?"

"Drop a box-car over it?" I suggested.

"Who in their right mind would do something so stupid?" Final sharply retorted, before emitting a short laugh. "Well, aside from me."

"I'm sure somepony's done it before."

"You'd have to be pretty damn strong to do it."

"That's tr- look, can we focus on the robot and not dropping box-cars on things?"

Final snickered. She reached into her bag and pulled out the last two of our pulse grenades. "These look like they'll do some damage, but we really should have more."

I looked about the room properly. Old worn posters hung off the wall, all advertising MAS's supremacy. A few desks lay around with broken terminals on them. And, in the corner, with a trail of blood leading from the door and across the walls, was the limp body of a stallion, curled up on the wall. I trotted over to him as Final began picking through the desks and containers in the corner.

The stallion, unfortunately, was lifeless and still, but I could tell it was recent enough a death that he hadn't begun rotting yet. In his hooves he had a few objects curled against him - a gun with such a ridiculously high caliber that it looked like it was designed to fire tin cans, a holotape (yay, more holotapes) and a framed photograph. I gingerly pulled the holotape out and, seeing a perfect opportunity to listen, I played it.

"D-damn... bullet through the lung... not fatal... not yet...

"Ok, maybe I should've followed Dyson... save my skin... get back to my family... Goddesses, I miss my family...

"They need to know how I died... even if it's a stupid way to die-"

A series of wet coughs.

"Blood... damn... not a surprise, though...

"Well... I'm the only one left. That sentry bot tore everypony else to pieces. Drop barely spoke a word before his head went flying.

"So... this is it... this is how I die... alone, in a room, with an equicidal robot trying to get to me...

"Heh... heh heh... mamma always said I would do great things... bet she's rolling in her grave now...

"Maybe papa should've named me 'Morbid' after all...

"Well... if you've managed to get this far... please, grab One in One Mill... and the 40mm pulse grenades by my hooves... and send my regards to that giant robot...

"Oh... and if you manage to swing by Harmony, tell my parents I'm an idiot. Give them the holotapes too.

"Too weak to go out fighting... wuss... maybe I'll just sit here and s-"

More horrible coughing.

"ngh... singing's a terrible idea... maybe I'll just... take... a nap...

"Good night, everypony. Thanks for listening..."

Click.

I should stop listening to depressing holotapes.

I looked around the pony's hooves. A couple of rounded-tipped tubes as wide as a tin can lay by his hindlegs. Carefully slipping the grenade launcher thing from his hooves, I also looked at the photograph. The picture was fairly faded, but it depicted a large orange stallion, a yellow unicorn mare next to him, and what appeared to be the tiny version of this stallion, who if I recalled was called Powder, grinning gleefully at the camera.

At least he had a mother to look after him.

I stood up, turning to Final. She took one look at the grenade rifle, and the blue-banded grenades, and a manic grin came over her.

The sentry bot was fairly easy to take down once it had given up looking for us. We just snuck behind it, and we both tossed as many pulse grenades as we could by its treads. The thing virtually exploded, which was quite a sight to behold.

After that, we skirted around most of the robots until we found a room labelled 'ROBOT CONTROL CENTRE'. The terminal was hard to crack, but with Final and I both working on it, we finally managed to get through. There wasn't, unfortunately, and 'off' function, just a 'remove friend/foe targeting data' function. Pressing that, I was blissfully surprised to hear the robots turn upon themselves. Final and I high-winged in celebration.

"What are you- No! Stop! Why are you all shooting each other?! You're not supposed to- Dammit, can't you useless pieces of scrap do anything useful?!"

Turns out we had pissed off this 'Omnipotentius' a lot.

I turned to Final, who seemed mesmerised by the fading blips on her EFS. "Alright, now, we go after the God."

She blinked and her attention was on me again. "Where is he?"

I thought for a moment, looking around. The sounds of lasers finally died down, and only two blips remained. "He should be either above us or that way." I pointed in the general direction of one of the red spots - a couple of floors down.

I poked my head out, and the blip that was on the lower levels was, in fact, a plodding, damaged protectapony which humerously was walking into a wall. Ok, seriously, were all damaged robots this incompetent?

The two of us took to the air again, skipping the stairs, and landed on the highest level of the tower. The red dot was hovering just behind a particular door. I motioned for Final to stay put and cover me while I snuck forward, pushing the door open a little bit to see inside.

I was surprised not to see a pony at a desk, but a corpse, it's coat and skin flaked and bare. He was an earth pony (emphasis on was), and he was sitting in a remarkably tense position, which was strange for a dead body.

I saw him move.

I saw him move!

The corpse pressed a button on the microphone in front of him. "Ok, so you have bested my robot armies, but can you best... me!?"

And with a laugh, the more-energetic-than-shambling rotting body ran off somewhere.

I flung the door open, calling out to it to stop running away, but my hoof stopped on something cold and metallic.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Oh."

BEEP BEEP BEEP

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

BEBEEBEEPEEBEEBEBEPEEBBEEBEEP

The floor was coated in mines.

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEBEEBEBEEEPBEBPBEPEBEEPBEEPBEEP

"Oh, come on!" I said as I started backpedalled.

I didn't backpedal fast enough.

Level Up!

New Perk: Pathfinder - You know your way around a map. You have, when fast travelling, a 20% time reduction.

Author's Note

Explosions, violence, adult themes, swearing, depressing holotapes and sexual things. Just another day in the Vanhoover Wasteland, heh heh heh.

So yeah, another new chapter for you all to enjoy . Since I forgot the chapter last week, this might seem a little early to post it, but hey, everyone likes early posts! Please leave your thoughts, critiques and compliments down below.

Also, here's a bit of art I drew for the second chapter of the story. Thought I'd put it up now just so y'all can see. (Clicking on the picture will take you to DeviantART where the picture won't be so massive.)

Again, thanks to Sigma, Tonto and Filthma for the prereading. Wait. Did Tonto and Filthma even get to look at this? I'm sure I sent them the link... either way, thanks to them for reading through it ^^ Also, thanks to Somber and Kkat for the stories they wrote that inspired me to write this piece, and you guys for reading it!