Tiberian Maelstrom

“Tell me again, why in Redmond’s balls are we hiding in the house…?” said Fullerton as he hid inside Lyra’s bedroom closet, failing rather epicly.

“Because I think that’s the best way to go without exhausted my limited supply of power. Anymore will most likely kill me without more Ichor,” Six explained as he hid underneath the sink of the house, also failing to do so.

“You two are hopeless when it comes to stealth, useless bastards…” said Norma as she hid inside a box Lyra had in her house with her stealth generator on just in case something tries to lift it up.

“Hey! I’ve only fought on the frontlines and not hiding like a sissy!”

“Shush! Something’s coming!”

The door to the house opened, as the trio attempted to be still and quiet. Lyra was now beginning to stir after the powerful dart that made her sleep for almost an hour.

“Lyra! I’m home from the market! I bought more carrots!” said this newcomer as she strode in with a basket on her back, filled to the brim with carrots and various confectionary.

“Oh no… We forgot about hiding Lyra…”

“…Lyra?” Six sensed the newcomer as she walked into the kitchen, discovering the shattered coffee mug.

“Urgh…. Bon Bon…?” Lyra said weakly as she fluttered her eyelids in dismay, after being knocked out cold from a tranquilizer dart.

“Damn, these are weird names…”

“Shut up!”

“Lyra! What happened-

“I WASN’T CRAZY, BON BON!” Lyra yelled suddenly with a rush of energy at her friend's face.

“HUMANS DID EXIST! THEY WERE IN OUR HOUSE!”

“Wh-what? Hu-humans in our house?” Bon Bon questioned her possibly insane roommate. She started giggling then burst out into laughter to Lyra’s dismay.

“Oh boy… You still obsessed with that subject of…. Humans?”

“I’m not lying! Here, I’ll show you!” she took the dart that was stuck in her flank and showed it to her cracked up roommate to the dismay of Six who listened in.

“A human shot me with this and bam! I fell asleep just like that!” she exclaimed, still agitated about Fullerton shooting her with the tranquilizer.

“Well, I do suppose that’s proof…” Bon bon replied, rubbing her chin with her hoof.

Somewhere in a distant closet, Fullerton was now getting real cranky.

“Damn that alien… now I’m stuck here with suit of armor and my gun! And damn! She’s got weird… things inside here!” He was unaware he actually said that out loud, very loud.

“L-lyra…? Who’s t-that…?” stammered the cream colored mare in fright at the voice.

“It must be! THE HUMAN!” Lyra exclaimed as her nose sniffed the area like a Diamond Dog.

“QUICK! TO MY BEDROOM!”

“Stupid fool…”

“Now where did he go….?” Lyra growled as she lowered herself down to the ground and sniffed it, to her roommate’s disgust and dismay.

“Dear, I think you’re being a little silly now…” she said as she watched the mint colored unicorn mare go around the room like some detective.

“Nopenopenopenopenope- Too late, the closet door was forcefully pulled open, revealing Fullerton who stood like a statue in the closet, surrounded by odd items Lyra and Bon Bon had... acquired.

“Uh, hi?” Lyra smiled in delight, now she wasn’t crazy.

“SEE? THE H-U-M-A-N! In my closet….” She turned her head back to the commando who was just leveling his carbine, loaded with tranquilizers, at her again.

“Nope!” she used her magic to pull out the carbine from his hands.

“Wait, what the fuck…?” Fullerton responded in dismay with Lyra using some sort of telekinesis power. “Gimme my gun, you peppermint psycho!”

“Oh, want it?” She smirked and lifted the carbine out of an open window. Fullerton was pissed at this.

Very pissed.

“Then go get it!” she flung it out of the window, and Fullerton watched in horror.

“Nooooooooooooooo!” He knelt down from the closet like Darth Vader and cursed to the sky.

“Cover blown, cover blown!”

“Got it, Six. I think we shouldn’t leave that braindead fool behind with that piece of mint,” said Norma as she forced the box off of her and de-activated her stealth generator while pulling out her pistols. Running upstairs, she honed in on Bon Bon first, then Lyra.

“Now you two will stand down or I will fry your brains without a second thought.” Meanwhile, Six was clumsily walking upstairs, falling down at one time.

“Ah hah! More of you!” Lyra said, very aware that she and her roommate were going to be vaporized.

“Um, Lyra? I th-think we should d-do what the sc-scary thi-thing says…”

“Shut it, you will make your decision or be a pile of ashes,” Norma snarled while the GDI commando gained his footing and walked to the window to see where his carbine landed.

Great, it had to land in a cart full of apples, with an orange mare pulling it unnoticed.

“Hey- Norma hissed at him blowing their cover, but he didn’t care and poked his helmet out of the window and gazed at the cart, with the carbine sitting on top of it.

“You fool! We have enough trouble as it is-

“Nope! I’m gonna get my gun back! Even it means for the BOOM time!”  Shit, he just jumped out of the window to Six’s dismay as he stumbled into the room.

He landed with a thump, and caused the orange mare to stop pulling it and look behind at the pile of apples.

“What in tarnations…?” she looked again and saw the commando emerge from the pile of bruised apples with his device and praised a being in the sky.

“Thank the lord, I have my gun! My gun only!” he looked at the pony who looked back.

“Hey! Yer on mah apples…!” she said as she made a comical angry expression.

“Fuck you and your apples, missy! I got my gun and that’s good!”

“What did ya say…?” she snarled back at him. During the commotion, Lyra and Norma were busy looking down at the foolish commando now staring at the cowpony.

“Oh no, what have I done…?” At this, Norma slapped the back of her head with an iron palm. “Ow! Why did you do that for!?”

“You threw his bloody gun out of the bloody window! And now he’s down there with that… pony, of course I had to do that!” she responded angrily, also attracting the attention of another brown colored pony faraway.

Down on the ground, the commando had ungracefully jumped out of the cart and knelt down to thank the Lord for the retrieval of his weapon, to the cowpony’s disgust.

“What do ya think yer doin’?!”

“Thankin’ the Lord, of course!” he said while raising the gun up into the sunlight, then he looked back at the ticked off pony.

“Now then, the show’s over!” he declared grandly to the ponies who looked at him in confusion and terror. “I will now disappear with the use of technology!” he activated his jetpack that sent him sailing into the air and into another house close to Lyra’s.

“Oh crud…”  Lyra groaned to Norma’s growing anger.

“Where did that fucktard end up now?!”

“The best place possible, Vinyl Scratch's house!”

“Whoa!” Something big and heavy crashed into Vinyl’s room while she was busy playing her dubstep songs full blast, to her friend’s, Octavia, dismay.

The smoke was heavy as Vinyl waved the air, stopping her music for a good while. Then from the smog came a voice and the eventual shadow of something struggling to it’s feet.

“Whoa mama! What a dozy!” It said as Vinyl lifted up her purple tinted goggles, revealing her crimson irises, in dismay at the thing that was now standing in her room.

The smoke cleared, and the figure was now looking at her with a blue tinted helmet.

“Jesus Christ! How many of you are there!?” it cursed out to the sunlight that was now beaming into her room. There was nothing more awesome than an armored figure crashing into your room and cursing the air, right?

“Aww sweet! This is coolio!” Vinyl exclaimed as she stayed at her station to watch the figure stumble about. She finally left the station and approached the figure as it finally stopped moving. “Name’s Vinyl Scratch! What about yours?”

It looked at her and into her eyes. “Well do-bee-do! That’s the most adorable thing I’ve laid my burnt eyes since I killed my daughter’s pet bunny!” Suddenly, Vinyl was lifted into the air and face first into the chestplate of the figure.

Well, that was certainly a wonderful experience. “Name’s Fullerton, miss Vinyl! And you are cute as fuck!”

She blushed at this. “Thanks, bro!”

“No problem!” he let go of her, she took a few deep breaths and back away from Fullerton who looked as her with utmost attention, the device it handled being fumbled about.

“Now that I think of it, I should give you to my daughter! But she’s dead!”

“Where is the Lieutenant?!”

“I don’t know sir! He just went and bam! He’s gone! But who cares? We just killed the aliens and reclaimed Stuttgart!”

“You bumfucks should care! He’s the one who saved your asses in this city and now you say you don’t care?!”

“Fuck ‘im! I never liked them commandos either! Put ‘us zone tro’pers down real low!”

Just then, a women broke the intense argument. “Sir! Fullerton isn’t responding! And from his co-ordinates, we’ve pinpointed a mass amount of energy!”

“And?”

“It means he’s gone off the radar completely! He’s warped!”

Well fuck.