Day 1 in this stupid place
I woke up, noticing something incredibly weird, but I can't figure out what is wrong. I'm not in my house, but I can't figure out where I am. I notice that the cloud isn't moving. Odd. When I try to stand up, I fall over. I look at my feet and noticed the weirdest thing ever. I HAVE FOUR LEGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?! Ho-How did this happen? I found a puddle and ran up to it, hoping to see a reflection of myself. I can't believe what happened. I've been turned into a pony.
"This makes no sense." I proclaimed. My skin color is a Tanish-like color, and my hair is numerous shades of black/grey, in the style of a rainbow. I know I'm probably stuck like this, so I should probably try to get used to this. I decided to walk up to the first pony I saw, and ask him/her to show me around town. I saw a purple unicorn with the hairstyle similar to the bisexual pride flag. It's pretty freaking obvious what her sexual orientation probably is.
"Hi, you look like you're not from here. I'm Twilight Sparkle." The purple pony told me. What kind of name is Twilight Sparkle? That is such a gay name. At least it's not the Twilight book or movie, so I guess it's a little bit better. I could probably deal with this.
"Hello, my name is Trent. I just moved here." I said. She looked at me with confusion.
"Isn't Trent a name for a stallion?" She said. What? Does she think I'm a girl or something?
"I am a stallion." I told her.
"Really? Because you look like a mare." She started to giggle.
"Mare?" I asked
"A female pony." She said."How could you not know what a mare meant? You're a pony as well." She said.
"Sorry, my vocabulary is terrible." I lied. She's probably wishing I was a mare.
"Oh. well, I should probably start showing you around town." She told me.
"Let's go then." I said. This is going to be the worst possible thing I could ever think of happening to me. I would call this the true hell, to be trapped in a land of My Little Pony. Dammit.
***
"This is the town hall. I'm sure you already know what that is. Over there is the schoolhouse for all the filly's and colts. That means young male and female ponies." She said, probably assuming I'm don't have a brain.
"Alright, this tour has been going on for far too long, can you show me a place I could stay?" I madly proclaimed. It just started, but I really want to get away from her.
"It just started, but if you don't want to continue the tour, that's ok. You don't have to be jerk about it if you didn't want the tour." She started to walk a different direction. Finally, I'm gonna get away from he-
BANG!
A really loud noise shatters my eardrums, knocking me down.
"PINKIE!!! You startled him!" Twilight yelled at the pony who has way to much pink on her body and hair.
"Oh. I'm really sorry mister. Wait, I don't know you. And If I don't know you, that means you're new, and if you're new, that means you just moved here, and if you just moved here, that means you must not know anyone here, and if you don't know anyone, that must mean YOU DON'T HAVE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The pink one screamed in excitement. Well, that was a rude assumption, even though I don't have friends in this technicolor place.
"THAT MEANS I HAVE TO THROW YOU A SUPER-DUPER FUN PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed, sounding really excited. She ran off after that.
"What was that?" I asked Twilight.
"Oh, that's my friend Pinkie Pie. She can get a bit, how do I say this, overzealous when it comes to meeting new ponies." Twilight answered.
"Yeah, I noticed." I said.
"Do you want to get something to eat?" She asked
"Sure, I could always eat." I told her. Ugh, I sound like a fat ass.
We go to a place that looks like a restaurant. I ask them what they have on the menu, and when they showed me the menu, I felt like puking. It's only plants.What the hell? No meat all all? Are these ponies vegetarians or something? This is starting to feel like a hell, big time. If there really is no meat here, then I officially hate this place.
Twilight was starting to tell me about a place I could stay. She told me that there really wasn't an empty house I could buy(especially due to my lack of money) and that most people didn't have an extra room I could sleep in.
"So basically, I have no place to live?" I said. If that is true, then screw it, I'll sleep on the grass, I don't care.
"Not exactly. One of my friends could make you an extra bed. I'll do it, seeing as how you don't know anyone here." Twilight Said.
"If I have to share a house with you, I can probably make it work." I replied. Honestly, staying with that pony would be the last thing I'd do.
"Alright then, we should probably go to Sweet Apple Acres. That's where my friend Applejack lives." Twilight said.
"Well, let's go then." I told her. Being with any other pony(besides the pink one, whatever her name was.) would probably be more enjoyable.
We started to walk through the town, what was this place called? I'll probably learn the name later or maybe Twilight already told me the name and I forgot. Wouldn't be a surprise if I did. Well, we passed the town hall, with Twilight waving at a gray-haired pony as we walked by.
"Who's that?" I asked. I hate it when curiosity gets the best of me, which is all the time.
"That's our mayor, mayor mare." Twilight told me.
'Oh." I said. Mayor mare? What kind of stupid name is that? I really hope there isn't anymore crappy names like that. Anyways, we continued walking for a while. Not fun.
"How much longer do we have to walk?" I said like a whiny bitch.
"Not that far, we're really close." She replied, with a mild tone of irritation. My freaking legs are killing me. If I have to walk another step, I'll d-*cue crashing noise along with numerous sounds of pain*
Something crashed into me. Not sure what, but I was knocked out cold.
"RAINBOW!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!!" That's all I heard before I finally passed out.
***
When I woke up, I saw Twilight and an even gayer looking pony staring at me. Her hair was a complete rainbow color. If that's not gay, then I have no idea what is.
"Are you OK, do you think you need a trip to the hospital?" Twilight asked with worry.
'I feel fine, don't worry." I replied. I wish that crash did do something to me, so I wouldn't have to look at these bright colored ponies anymore. I looked at the other pony with anger.
"Heh, sorry about that ma'am." The gay one apologetically said. Ma'am? Why does everyone think I look like a girl?
"I'm not a mare." I angrily said. If another person calls me a girl, I'm going to kill them.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for mistaking you for a mare. You just look a lot like somepony I know, and she's a mare." The gay one said, looking embarrassed at the fact she messed up my gender. Somepony? That's stupid, though I hate to admit that it actually makes sense in this context(If you tell anyone I admitted that, I'm killing you.).
"You also have my hair." I heard her say. I do? If that's true, then I need a haircut immediately.
"I was just trying to practice my flying routine. I was hoping to perfect it so the wonderbolts would notice me and make me one of them." The gay one said. Who are the wonderbolts? And she can fly? That's when I noticed the wings. Of course the gay one's a Pegasus.
"I just realized that I never introduced myself. I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest, coolest, most awesome pony you'll probably ever meet, especially since you don't seem to know that many ponies, based on what Twilight said." The gay one said. Rainbow Dash? I knew it, she is gay. Probably with Twilight too. And she probably actually wished I was a girl. This time I mean it.
"I'm Trent." I told her.
"Trent? Never heard of a pony with a name like that. Where are you from?" She asked.
"Don't remember." I lied. I don't think it would make sense to try to explain to them that I'm basically from another universe. I'm not sure how they think of the topic of multiple universes.
"I think he has amnesia." Twilight interrupted.
"Oh." Rainbow Dash said.
"Oh yeah, Rainbow Dash, here's the early copy of the new Daring Do book, like I promised." Twilight pulled out a book. Where was she holding that? I never noticed it. She doesn't have a bag on her, and she was empty handed when I met her. Rainbow started to look at the cover of the book, and looked at me, and immediately burst out laughing.
"Oh my gosh, that's just too funny! He looks like Daring Do!" Rainbow couldn't stop laughing. Twilight saw the resemblance, and started to giggle. When I saw the cover of the book, It looked just like the pony(right now, real) version of me. Holy crap, that explains a lot. I even have the wings. Wait, I have wings?! How the hell did I not notice them?! That means I could fly.
"Wow, he really does look like her, minus the eyelashes." Twilight proclaimed. I can tell that this is going to cause me some major problems for me. And knowing how the only ponies I met referred to me as a girl, I can tell that it's going to be hell here.
"Well, I gotta clear some clouds, then I'm going to take a nap. See ya later Twilight and Trent." Rainbow flew off. Maybe she could teach me how to fly. If I have wings, might as well try to learn to use them. It might finally make all this girly crap tolerable.
"Well, let's finally go to Sweet Apple Acres." Twilight said.
"Alright then." I said. This should be fun. I really wish I could show you how unenthusiastic I actually am.
***
After hours of walking, with me being completely irritated the whole time, we finally arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. Wow, first time I actually remembered a place's name since I arrived in this terrible town. Based on what I'm seeing, this place is a farm, whose only source of income is apples. Isn't that actually a really bad thing, to rely on only one item for a farm? Well, we start to walk of to one of the ponies here, orange body with yellow hair and a cowboy hat.
"Hey Applejack." Twilight said, purposefully moving away from whom she just called Applejack. Probably an attempt to make sure I actually talk to her. Her name reminds me of a cereal back home, but whatever.
"Well, howdy Twi." The orange one looks at me. "Who's you're friend?"
"My name is Trent." I answered. She better not refer to me as a girl.
"Well, Howdy there Trent." Grabs my arm for a handshake, shaking my arm really hard. It hurt my arm big time. "Ah'm Applejack. We here at Sweet Apple Acres think it's pleasure to meet you. The little one is Applebloom, the stallion's my brother, Big Mac, and this is Granny Smith." Applejack said. Where did they come from? They weren't there a minute ago. I'll never understand how these ponies do this kind of crap.
"Uh, nice to meet you all." I replied. I'm glad she didn't refer to me as a girl.
"Ah really like your mane. It looks really pretty on ya." Applejack said. Sounds like she thinks I'm a girl too. Dammit.
"Uh, Applejack, that ponies a he." Twilight said, giggling.
"Oh, uhhh what ah meant to say was that your mane,uh, looks really,uh, tough." Applejack said with a sheepish grin, probably hoping it would eliminate the awkwardness she created. It failed.
"It's alright, this has been happening all day." I told her. I feel like I should've left that detail out.
"Really, cause,uh, y'all don't really look like,uh, a mare." Applejack lied.
"Quit trying to lie, you're not good at it." I said in a brutally honest tone.
"You don't have to be so mean to her Trent. Applejack, look at this picture, then look at Trent." Twilight showed Applejack the cover of one of those Daring Do books with a character that I apparently resemble.
"Oh wow. Y'all look just like her." Applejack said, finally being honest.
"I should probably get my hair cut." I said.
"Agreed, and it's called a mane cut." Twilight and Applejack said in synch.
"Before y'all change your mane, let me show you round the farm." Applejack grabbed my arm-well, leg- and started to show me the contents of her farm.
"I'll have a place for you set up at my house when you're done with all of this." Twilight said, waving goodbye.
"Over there is our barn. Those are the trees that mah family owns, and uses for applebucking season." Applejack told me, pointing at a group of trees.
"Applebucking season?" I asked. Replace the b with and f and you'll understand why I found that phrase confusing as hell.
"That just means harvesting season for the apples." Applejack explained. Why not just call it harvesting season? It has less syllables in it. Wait, why am I thinking about something so stupid? Nevermind. Time to hopefully change the topic.
"So,uh, what do you do here?" I asked her.
"The usual farm stuff. Harvesting, tending to the crops. Things y'all probably already know about." Applejack answered. At least she doesn't treat me like a complete moron.
We started walking around the rest of her farm. Applejack started showing me her house, the acres of crops, where all the pigs, chickens, and other farm animals are, and a bunch more stuff, but I'm too lazy to list all of them. This lasted for hours.
"Ah've been showing you mah farm for a long while, do ya want me to get ya a snack or something like that?" Applejack asked.
"Sure." I replied. I really hope she doesn't get me a plant for a meal.
"Here, catch." She tosses me an apple. I should have expected that. I mean, this is an APPLE farm, what would she have given me, celery?
"Thanks." I took a bite out of it. Wow, this actually taste really good. Different from the apples that are in the human world.
"Wow, this taste really good." I told Applejack.
"Well thank you, ah harvested that one mah-self." She said. I'm never going to get used to that accent.
"Well, thank you." My stomach dropped trying to say that. "How did you get it so that the apple is this ripe?" I asked, being taken over by curiosity again.
"It's a process that would take a mighty amount of time ta explain." Applejack said, looking like she wanted to avoid having to answer my question. I wonder why she did that? Doesn't matter.
"Well, there's not much left to show ya." She said. I tried to figure out the time using the sun's rotation. That failed, so I'm just gonna assume this took at least an hour.
"I'm gonna go get my mane fixed, now, goodbye." I said staring to walk away, then I realized that I have no freaking idea where anything is in this brightly colored town. I hate to admit this, but I'm probably going to need Applejack's help for this minor problem.
"Um, where is the closest place to get my mane cut?" I asked, feeling like an idiot.
"Mah friend Rarity could probably cut it for free." Applejack answered."Ah'll show ya where she lives."
Finally, now I can possibly make it so that people-well, ponies-will stop mistaking me for a girl.
Me and Applejack started walking towards where the pony that could cut my hair lives. I'm sure Applejack mentioned her name at least once. I have a terrible memory, so I believe I have an excuse for that. She was describing who the hair stylists that's going to cut my hair was like. Applejack said that that pony acted very classy. She also mentioned how she owned a clothing store. I think something was said about how she was incredibly girly, so I probably should watch what I say. We started walking towards where Applejack said the pony's house was located, when a problem occurred.
Remember how all the ponies I met said that I looked like Daring Do? Well, that look has come to bite me in the ass. We passed by a random pony with a Daring Do shirt and a book. They saw me and thought I was the real Daring Do. They screamed at the top of their lungs about how the real Daring Do is here. Turns out I walked into a Daring Do fan club meet up, because a bunch more ponies arrived at the area that I was, freaking out and talking about how I was Daring Do.
"OH MY GOSH, THE REAL DARING DO!!!!!" One pony said.
"I'M SUCH A FAN!!!!!!" Another one said. After the freak out, they started surrounding me, asking for autographs, pictures, the typical stuff that rabid fans do to their heroes.
"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!!!!" A fat and short pony said. Even the real Daring Do wouldn't go out with that loser.
Applejack was able to find a gap in-between the fans and led me through it. One pony noticed that that I escaped and screamed "GET HER!!!!" at the top of their lungs.
We started running away as fast as we could. The herd of rabid fans started to chase after us. Thankfully, most of the herd was composed of loser fans, so not too many of them were that good at running, some even falling over. It was funny, but I had to keep running. The fans that were athletic though, gave me and Applejack a run for our money. They were able to jump(gallop, I guess?) over the others and ended up having an easier time catching up to us than the rest of the herd. Due to their relentlessness, they ended up causing some minor chaos, such as fruit carts crashing or being broken, leaving fruits all over the place, bumping into random ponies, etc. If this didn't end, the whole town would be a mess. We tried hiding in areas that would be used in cartoons. They temporarily worked, probably because of how this is a cartoon universe. But like most cartoons, these temporary hiding spots wouldn't last for long. We hid in a garbage can, a cart, someone's umbrella, anyplace that would be used in a cartoon.
The day is either very long, or it just feels incredibly long, because so much crap has been happening and the sun's position didn't even change. It's still the first day I arrived at this crazy town and I've been doing random crap for hours! Well, most of the crazy fans decided to give up the chase, even the athletic ones. Applejack and I decided to stop and catch our breath. Neither of us could talk after all that running.
"So *breaths* that *breaths* was *breaths* incredibly *breaths* interesting." I said. Wow, I was so tired that it hurt just to talk.
"Ya got that right." Applejack said. How is she not struggling to talk?
"How are *breaths* you not as *breaths* tired as I am?" I asked her. This answer should be interesting.
"Well, when ya work at a farm most of ya life, this becomes nothing." Applejack answered, grinning at how she was the most athletic sentient being alive compared to me. I wished that she had a ludicrous story as an explanation. That would've have probably made this more enjoyable.
Rainbow Dash runs into us, and even she ends up being fooled by my looks.
"DARING DO?!" YOU'RE REAL?!" Rainbow Dash said, extending her wings in excitement.
"CAN I PLEASE HAVE A PICTURE?! OR AN AUTOGRAPH?! OR MAYBE YOUR HAT?!" Rainbow Dash said. I'm glad it was only her this time. The hundreds of rabid fans scared the crap out of me, but only one crazy fan? I can handle that.
"Uhhh, Rainbow, that's Trent." Applejack said, looking as if she wanted to laugh.
"OH COME ON!!!!" Rainbow said, punching me in anger. She must really be a major Daring Do fan.
"This Daring Do has caused me so many problems." I said, trying to recover from Rainbow's hard punch to my gut. I wonder if she actually is real, seeing as how her fans acted like she was real. Well, it's getting dark. Dark? Wow, the sun finally decided to set. I should ask twilight about this sun problem. Maybe it's natural for the sun to do that here.
"Well, you almost made my day, and now you ruined it. Thanks a lot. And never speak of this again." Rainbow Dash said, punching me in the stomach, knocking me into the ground. She sounds really angry.
"I'm sorry. I really need to get that haircut" I said, struggling to get up.
"Agreed, and it's called a mane cut." Rainbow Dash and Applejack said in synch.
"Well, it's getting dark, we should probably get ya to your home. Where do ya live?" Applejack asked.
"I don't have a place to stay, and there isn't a house that's available, so Twilight let me stay at her place." I answered.
"Oh, I could fly you there." Rainbow Dash said.
"I don't think I should be in the air. I've never flown before." I said.
"Really? But you have wings!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
"Well, I don't know how to use them." I proclaimed. This is sorta embarrassing, to be a Pegasus and not know how to fly.
"Well, I'm going to teach you how to fly, right after you get your mane cut." Rainbow Dash said.
Rainbow Dash flew away, and Applejack helped my weakened body walk to Twilight's house, which is a tree. Isn't that a bad thing? I keep forgetting that this is a cartoon universe. I finally had the strength to stand up on my own when we got to the door. When I opened the door, there was a surprise that I was not ready for.
***
I started to open the door to Twilight's tree house. It was incredibly dark, so when I decided to turn on the lights, I didn't expect to have the next event happen. I saw dozens of ponies come out of random hiding spots, some that weren't even logical.
"SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They all said.
I fell on the floor due to how unexpected this was. My first day and I already have a party thrown for me?! What the hell?!
"Surprise! Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised? Were you? Were you?" The pink one starts giggling and jumping around. She is annoying.
"This was very surprising." I said. Did not expect this at all.
"I saw you when you first got here, remember? I started you with my fun! And I never saw you before. And if I never saw you before that meant you're new, cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in ponyville. And if you're new, then you haven't met anypony yet. And If you haven't met anypony yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends, then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, and then I had an idea. And that's why I ran off, knowing that I should throw a great big ginormous super duper welcome party and invite everypony in ponyville! See! And now you have lots and lots of friends!" Applejack, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, a marshmallow colored pony, and a pony with a yellow body and a pink mane(I think that's what it's called.) showed up after she finished that last sentence. Pinkie finally shut up after that. Thank God.
I felt overwhelmed by all that she said, so I decided to drink a bottle of pop, or at least I hope it's pop. Being the dumbass I am, I drank the bottle without even looking at the cover of it.
Turns out the bottle contained hot sauce. And I drank all of it. I'm a moron.
***
THE HOT SAUCE IS SO FREAKING HOT!!!!! My tongue is burning up! My hair set on fire and I decided to freak out and run around, looking for a place to drink some water. I ended up ramming into Twilight's wall. She's lucky I didn't set it on fire. I found a bucket of water and put my head in it. It was cold as the north pole. My head froze into an ice cube. Applejack kicked me with her legs to unfreeze me. I wish she didn't, so I wouldn't have to talk to them.
All of them started giggling at how funny that scene I threw was.
"That reminds me of when I first moved to Ponyville. Except I didn't end up freezing myself" Twilight said, causing the group to laugh in remembrance.
After the initial attempt to set my hair on fire, Pinkie tried to make me play pin the tail on the donkey. I didn't want to, but she seemed so excited about having me here that it felt wrong not to play. I ended up pinning the tail to the wall.
Afterwards, there was some music and some dancing, which was alright to participate in. Pinkie started screaming and laughing and jumping around. She is so annoying. If I could, I would strangle her.
After the party ended, all the ponies started to leave. Well, except for Twilight(cause she lives here.), Applejack, Pinkie Pie, the marshmallow pony(I wonder if she tastes like a marshmallow.), Rainbow Dash, and the yellow one.
"Soooo how was the party Trent?" Pinkie asked. It was alright, but even though I find her annoying, it would hurt knowing she thought her party was a disappointment.
"It was great, Pinkie." I said, being able to fake a smile as if it was the best party ever. It wasn't that bad, but being with an annoying pony like that made it harder to endure.
Pinkie smiled. The yellow pony decided to walk up to me, and introduced herself.
"Um, Hi, I'm Fluttershy." The yellow one said. If shy is in her name, then she is obviously shy.
"I really like your mane. It's really pretty." Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack started to giggle.
"Your mane is simply divine, darling." The Marshmallow colored one said. Damn it, I want to see if she taste like a marshmallow. I feel like something is wrong with me if I have a thought like that. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all burst out laughing.
"Um, what is so funny?" Fluttershy said in a quiet and confused voice.
"Whatever could be causing you girls to laugh?" The marshmallow said.
"Isn't it obvious girls? This pony is a he!" Pinkie said. How did she not mistake me for a mare?(took me long enough to learn that word.)
"He is?" Fluttershy and the marshmallow said in synch. Damn it, I need that mane cut.
"Yes, he is a stallion with my mane cut!" Rainbow Dash said, laughing even harder than before.
"Oh, is this the pony you girls were telling me about? I can see why he wants he mane cut, I'll try to do my best tomorrow." The marshmallow said, walking out the door. So that's Rarity. Huh, she looks much different from what I imagined.
"Well, ah got apples to buck, so ah'm going home. Goodbye, girls." Applejack left.
"I've got to take care of gummy, so goodbye!" Pinkie rolls out the door.
"I have to take care of my animals, um, so goodbye Twilight and her friend." The shy one left.
"I'm gonna go fly tomorrow, so I gotta rest up, see ya Twilight and Trent!" Rainbow Dash left. What a tomboyish attitude. Definitely gay. The hair color gives it away. I wouldn't be surprised if I was right.
"Well, I set the area where your bed is up over there." Twilight points to an empty and clean bed.
"Try not to make a mess of it when you go to sleep." Twilight said, then she climbed into her bed.
"OK Twilight, I won't." I sied. I'm lazy a mess when it comes to my bedroom, so Twilight's going to hate cleaning up after me.
"There's snacks and drinks in the fridge, if you get hungry or thirsty." Twilight said, finally falling asleep.
At least she was kind enough to tell me where things were. That's already more hospitality than most humans. I finally climb into bed, wondering if all of this is real, if I could actually return home, or if my home was actually a dream and I was a pony all along. Meh, too much thinking for one bed session. I'll think about it after I get accustomed to this town. I finally fall asleep, dreaming about eating one of those delicious apples that Applejack gave me. Either I'm a fat person on the inside, or something is wrong with me.
Day 2
When I woke up, I saw that Twilight had made 3 plates of flower sandwiches. Just great. I know that one would be for me and that another would be for Twilight, but who would the third one be for? I decided to ask Twilight about it when she sat down at the table.
"Hey Twilight, who's the third sandwich for?" I asked her. Is there someone else staying here that I didn't know about?
"It's for Spike, my assistant. He was out of town yesterday. He came back in the morning. I may have forgotten to mention that detail. Sorry." Twilight answered. Spike? Sounds like a male pony. Another guy living here might actually make this more bearable.
"Hey Twilight." A mysterious voice said. Must be Spike. I wonder what kind of pony he is. There was a couple thuds signaling that he was coming down the stairs. Would be interesting finally meeting a normal male pony in this town. When the voice came down the stairs, I couldn't help but scream.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WHAT IS THAT!!!!????" I screamed, looking at the scaly creature, while hiding under the table.
"That's Spike silly." Twilight smiled.
"Uh, Twilight, you didn't tell me we were going to have guests over." Spike said.
"He's new and he didn't have a place to stay, so he's going to be living with us. I probably should've told you this earlier, but you were out of town." Twilight replied.
"Oh." Spike said. "Well, hello, uh, what was your name again?" He asked. I don't think I told him my name yet.
"I'm Trent." I responded, getting out of the under chambers of the table. I wonder if he's going to mistake me for a girl.
"Trent? But isn't that a name for stallions?" Spike asked. Dammit, I thought someone was finally going to figure out that I wasn't a girl(without my help, at least).
"He's a stallion Spike. Don't worry, the others and I also mistook him for a mare yesterday He even got a fan club to chase him." Twilight giggled.
"Fan club to chase him? Why?" Spike asked. I'm surprised that he lives in a house full of books(probably the whole Daring Do series also) and doesn't recognize me from the character on the cover of at least one of those books.
"Look at this book cover, then look at Trent." Twilight levitates the book to Spike. Nice spell. That would probably be a decent spell to have in most situations.
"Oh wow, he looks like Daring Do." Spike started to laugh, but tried to contain himself. I really need that manecut.
"A whole Daring Do fan meet up was taking place in this town, and I walked past them on accident, causing all of them to chase me and Applejack all around this enormous place. It took hours to escape. Not fun, especially on my first day." I told Spike. He burst out laughing when I told finished.
"Oh yeah, that reminds me of a question I meant to ask. Twilight, it took me and Applejack hours to outrun the crazy fans, and I noticed that the sun's position never changed. How is it that hours of the day passed, but the sun's position never changed?" I asked her. This should end with a fun resolution.
"Well, we have a ruler, Princess Celestia, who raises the sun every morning and sets it every night. Her younger sister, Princess Luna, raises the moon at night and sets it in the morning." Twilight answered, sounding confident. Two ponies that are so powerful that they can literally move the sun and moon? I wouldn't want to mess with those.
"Wow, 2 ponies that are capable of literally moving the sun and moon? Outstanding." I said.
"Oh yeah, what are you Spike?" I looked at the scaly creature.
"I'm a baby dragon. How could you not tell?" He answered. A baby dragon? How the hell didn't I realize that?! I play dungeons and dragons, and I'm really into fantasy, so I should've noticed that he was a dragon immediately.
"Sorry, I'm not fully energized yet." I said, hoping that would work as an excuse.
"Well, I gotta go meet up with Rarity, she said that she would give me a mane cut and make me look like a stallion so everyone would stop calling me a female pony."
"Everypony, and the world you're looking for is called mare, also known as a female pony." Twilight said, correcting me like the smartass she is.
"The most beautiful pony in the world is spending alone time with you? Lucky." Spike looked away, as if he was jealous. He thought of Rarity as beautiful? Is he in love with that pony or something? Wouldn't cross-species relationships be awkward? I probably shouldn't tell him that, would probably hurt him if he understood how weird it really was.
"Don't worry dude, she's only going to give me a quick cut, and then I'm out of there." I said, trying to reassure the little jealous dragon that I wouldn't try to steal his pony love of his life. The thought of dating a pony totally grosses me out, even though I myself am a pony.
I finally get off my lazy ass and decided to leave this tree house thingy, telling Twilight and Spike that I'll be back later in the day. This manecut should be interesting.
***
When I left Twilight's house, I started to walk straight towards Rarity's(I think that was her name?) house. I ended up steeping on a mud puddle on the way there. Hopefully she won't mind. I realized that I forgot to eat most of my sandwich before I left, so my stomach started to growl. I went to a restaurant and got a small meal, hoping it would help me get through the day. A small piece of the meal got onto me. Meh, not too dirty. I'm sure Rarity won't mind that minor stain. The mud on my foot might disgust her though. I wouldn't have let myself in if I had mud on me like this. Being the lazy moron I am, I decided that the time it takes to clean myself up would take to long. I started walking some more, when I realized I was an idiot.
I freaking forgot where Rarity lived, probably because of that fan club chasing me yesterday. I decided to run back to Twilight's house and ask her where Rarity lived. She gave me a clear set of directions from her house to Rarity's.
When I arrived at Rarity's house, I walked up to the door, and heard a loud scream.
"DON'T YOU DARE STEP INTO MY SHOP WITH SUCH FILTHY HOOVES!!!!" I couldn't figure out who said that phrase. I decided to open the door a little, when someone pushed the door open, knocking me down.
"Didn't you here me? I won't allow you into my shop unless you clean yourself up." The pony that knocked me down said. I looked up, and noticed that it was Rarity. She handed me a hose, with an expression that made it seem like she demanded that I clean myself up.
I couldn't figure out how to turn the water on, so I spent a couple minutes fiddling with it. It randomly turned on, splashing me with a barrage of water and knocking me into the wall of Rarity's house. That was some strong water pressure.
"Well, I don't look as dirty as I did before, will you let me into your home now?" I asked Rarity.
"Of course you can, darling." She responded. I finally walked into her house. Looks nice. Smells nice too.
"This is a nice house you have, Rarity." I said, trying to do a tone of voice I never did before, aka the trying to be nice to someone I don't want to be nice to voice tone.
"Why thank you darling. You would not believe how much it costs to have a house like this." Rarity said. She likes to use the word darling a lot. I wonder if she calls her other friends by that word too. I hope it isn't because she has a thing for me, because that would just be flat out weird.
"Should we get started? I heard that Rainbow Dash was going to give you flying lessons, and you certainly don't want to miss that." Rarity said. I certainly don't want to miss failing at flying and plummeting to my death.
"Start the cutting." I said. I just want the cut to be over, so I can finally stop looking like a girl pony.
"Are you sure this is going to make me look less like a girl pony?" I asked. I hope the answer is yes.
"Oh, you act as if I've never cut a pony's mane before. And the term you are looking for is mare." Rarity answered. Smartass.
She started to levitate a pair of scissors around my hair and started to cut it. At first, she started cutting my hair bit by bit, but now she is starting to cut large portions of it off. I really hope she isn't going to make me go bald.
"What are you doing to my mane Rarity?" I asked. I'm starting to get concerned. Is she really as experienced as she says she is?
"Oh, don't worry darling. Anything related to aesthetics is my specialty." Rarity said, hoping to reassure me. That's the third time darling was said by her already.
As more and more hair came off of my head, my concern for what Rarity was doing to me grew greater and greater. She said that she was an expert on this, so why should I be worrying? I just need to breath in and out, loosen up, basically things that would calm me down.
When She finished cutting my mane, it felt as if all of my mane was removed. I hope that's not true. Rarity pointed to a mirror that I could use to check myself out. I was a little surprised at the kind of manecut I had received.
It was a freaking Mohawk. I hate Mohawks, and I was given a Mohawk haircut. Just freaking great. I'm gonna be stuck with a haircut that I hate for a long time. At least I won't be looking like a female pon-err mare, so I guess it's not that bad.
"So, how do you think? Isn't it fabulous?" Rarity asked, with a tone of excitement. I'm probably gonna have to lie, seeing as she seems like the type of person-err pony that has major pride in the thing that they loves to do. Screw it, I'm going with honesty.
"I not sure what to make of this manecut Rarity. I hate Mohawks. Sorry." I told her. Her face sadden, and she started to tear up, probably because it seems like she worked really hard on this. I need to think of something that can fix this.
"Um, I might not like this kind of manecut, but I really like the spikes you gave the top of my mane." I told her, stroking the top of my mane as I said that. It felt funny. She started to smile.
"With a manecut like yours, you're going to need something that compliments it." Rarity said, going through her house, looking for something to compliment this hairstyle.
"Ah, there it is!" She pulls out a pair of sunglasses. A decent looking pair, if I might add.
She gave them to me and told me to try them on. I put them on, looked at the mirror, and I gotta say, I don't look too bad. I mean, I look like an asshole, but I look alright. Guess I should thank her for this.
"Wow, the sunglasses really helped. Thanks Rarity." I told her.
"You can keep them darling, its my gift to you, since you are new to this town." Rarity said. Darling count:5.
"That's really generous of you Rarity. Thanks a lot." I told her. Damn, it's the second day I've been here, and I've already been given a gift? That's different.
"Well, I've got a flying lesson to get to. Goodbye Rarity." I waved at her, then started to walk away.
"Oh, would you like to go to the spa with me and Fluttershy next month? You seemed really tense, and I think that would help you." Rarity said. Going to the spa? Why the hell would I do that?
I ran off without answering her. Well, I've got a plummet to my death that I've got to attend to.
As I'm running away from Rarity's house, I start looking for area's where Rainbow Dash could be. I forgot that I'm prone to short-term memory loss, so I don't even know if she mentioned an area to meet up with her. Another dumb mistake by moi.
I decided that I should probably walk into the middle of town, seeing if Rainbow Dash might be shopping or just racing around town. I saw the yellow pony from last night buying some vegetables. What was her name again? I think it was something like butterfly? Maybe she knows where Rainbow Dash could be. I decided to walk up to her, hoping my new looks wouldn't scare her off.
"Uh, do you know where Rainbow Dash is?" I asked the yellow one, tapping her on the shoulder(or at least what I assume is her shoulder). She started to cover her face when she noticed me. I knew this look wasn't good. I take off my sunglasses and decided I should further elaborate why I need to find Rainbow Dash.
"She said that she was going to teach me how to use my wings, since I don't know how to use them." I said, feeling embarrassed due to the fact that I am an adult Pegasus that didn't know how to use my own wings that I just learned that I had. She started to look even more scared of me so I just decided to walk off, allowing her to continue buying her groceries. Did my new manecut really make me look that different? And something crashes me yet again.
"HEY, I SAID TO WATCH OUT, MAYBE YOU SHOULD LISTEN!!!!" Rainbow Dash screamed at me, not realizing who I was. I didn't even hear her say anything before the crash.
"Wait a second, Trent? Is that you?" Rainbow Dash asked, pulling me up. Wow, the sunglasses and manecut must really make me look different.
"Yep, I just finished my manecut, and I decided to look for you immediately." I answered, brushing the top of my hair.
"Wow, you look so different. Last time I got my mane cut, I didn't look different at all!" Rainbow Dash proclaimed.
"Well, good for you." I grumpily said.
"Nice sunglasses." Rainbow Dash said. At least the sunglasses look nice.
"Well, should we get started? I don't even know how to use my wings at all." I said, blushing a little at how much of a moron I feel right now.
"Really? You can't even flap your wings? Wow, you definitely need me. Well, follow me! I'll show you the best flying spots!" Rainbow Dash said, flying towards a random direction. I decide to run after her, but she quickly out matches me in the speed contest, so she goes incredibly far ahead.
"You know what? Screw it, I'm just gonna carry you. Wimp." Rainbow Dash started grabbing me by my stomach and we both went flying into the air, with me screaming the whole time.
We finally arrive at her optimal flying site. I decided to finally use my wings, only being able to make them flap a little.
"There you go! I knew you could at least do something with your wings!" Rainbow Dash said. Seems like she actually has faith in me.
"Alright, now just keep flapping your wings like that, but don't stop and just flap faster. You'll start to go up in the air." Rainbow Dash instructed me. Doesn't seem to hard.
I started to flap my wings as fast as I could. I should've exercised for this, because I was only able to flap them for a couple seconds.
"SERIOUSLY?! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD AT LEAST BE ABLE TO DO BETTER THAN FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow Dash screamed. Bitch.
I decide to give up after a few minutes. Rainbow Dash kept dragging up back up every time I fell when I got exhausted. Dammit gay one, why would you not let me rest? Whatever, I can do this. I just need to keep trying, I'll get this right.
***
An hours passes, and Rainbow Dash is getting more and more frustrated with me failing at flying. She starts to turn red after each failure, screaming at me with louder volumes as the attempt failures rise.
"DAMN IT?! WHY CAN"T YOU FLY YET?! WE'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR AN HOUR!!" Rainbow Dash screamed.
We decided to try again and I finally started to lift off the ground, pleasing both myself and Rainbow Dash.
"BUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rainbow Dash said, screaming with delight. I would've screamed too,but she was so loud, that it hurt my ears.
"OK, I know how to fly. Is this lesson over yet?" I asked, hoping to get out of this.
"No! We need to see how fast you can fly! Rainbow Dash Screamed. Guess she wants to see if I could be her flying buddy or something like that.
I start to flap my wings and move forward, going at an incredibly slow pace, but at least I could move while flying, right?
Rainbow Dash slaps me angrily. Wouldn't be surprised, since she did fly incredibly fast when I first met her.
"You can only fly that slowly? Wow. At least you could stay up in the air. I guess that's a good thing. You fly even slower than Fluttershy though" Rainbow Dash said, creating a small grin.
"Maybe you might fly faster with a little sense of danger." Rainbow Dash said, backing me up onto the cliff of the hill we are on.
"Wait, what are you do- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rainbow Dash pushes me off a cliff.
I try to flap my wings, but the pressure was too strong for me to handle. I'm going to die now, aren't I?
I hit a cloud, bouncing back up into the air.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!??" I screamed. Rainbow Dash catches me, giggling.
"Woah, calm down. You really don't know about your own race, do you?" Rainbow Dash asked, smiling.
"Not at all." I responded. Wow, I feel like such a dumbass right now.
"Well, Pegasi can float on clouds, and manipulate the weather." Rainbow Dash said, putting me down on the ground.
"Wow. That is freaking impressive. That makes being a pegasi seem awesome!" I said, showing my enthusiasm that is actually genuine.
"It sure does." Rainbow Dash said.
"Well, I gotta do something else, well, see ya Trent!" Rainbow Dash flew away, waving at me.
Well, this was a productive session. I learned how to use my wings, and I learned about my race. This was actually fun, ignoring the first hour or so of this session. Who knew hanging out with the gay one was actually not going to end badly?
I decided to run back to Twilight's, since I have nothing else to do today. I might've been coming back a little bit earlier than when I said I would return, but I'm sure she won't mind.
I barged into her house, causing a light ruckus and knocking a few things over.
"Trent?! Why did you do that?!" Twilight said, with an expression of anger. She started to pick up everything that I knocked over, placing them in the original area that they were located before I arrived.
"I'm really sorry Twi." I look at how she places everything, being surprised at her high level of organization.
"You really have an organized house. Must be hard to keep it like this all the time." I said, noticing how everything is literally in a specific area. How would someone-err somepony- be able to stay organized like this?
"Not really, I keep a list of where everything goes, and Spike helps out anyway." Twilight explained. Damn, is it really that easy?
"Yeah, I keep this place clean for Twilight." Spike said, continuing to sweep the mess I made.
"Oh yeah, why are you back so early? I thought you said you'd be gone later in the day. It's only been about 4 hours." Twilight said with confusion.
"Well, I expected the manecut and the flying practice to take longer than they actually did. And I thought that I would have something to do after that anyways, but I don't." I said, shining my hoof out of boredom.
"Oh, well me and Spike were going to go out to eat today. Since it seems like you don't have any plans, would you like to join us?" Twilight asked me. My stomach started to growl, taking over my train of thought.
"Sure, I guess I could eat." I told her. We all went to a treats shop(something about sugar cubes, I think?) and got a couple cupcakes.
When we got back, I just grabbed a random book, reading whatever the hell I found. Twilight was reading too, except she read a research book.
There was a knock on the door. Twilight opened the door, revealing the yellow pony that was at Pinkie's party and was scared by me earlier today, specifically last chapter(Screw you, this is my story, so I'm gonna break the fourth wall whenever I want to).
"Uh, hi Twilight." The yellow one said in a very quiet voice. I barely able to hear her say that.
"Hey Fluttershy, what's up?" Twilight replied, still reading the book that she had before.
"I was just tending to my animals, when I realized that I needed to do a grocery run today, and that I had a spa appointment with Rarity today, meaning that I would need somepony to tend to my animals for a few hours." The yellow one said. Damn, I need to figure out her nam- I'm an idiot,Twilight called her Fluttershy.
"Oh well, I have some studying to do, but Trent could help you." Twilight said, pushing me a little towards Fluttershy.
"But Twilight, I don't know anything about caring for animals." I proclaimed, trying to get out of being a pet sitter. And I actually don't know crap about taking care of pets anyway, so I'd probably screw Fluttershy over by accident.
"Oh, I ,uh, could show you ,uh, how to take care of my pets, if that's okay with you." Fluttershy said.
"There you go Trent. Fluttershy probably doesn't have that much time so you should probably leave with her, so you'd actually know where she lived." Twilight said, helping us out of the door. Is she really that invested with her story/research/whatever she was reading that she wants me to not be here to get in the way? Whatever, I can kill time with this pet sitting anyway.
We arrive at a cottage, presumably Fluttershy's house. There were a bunch of animals playing around or sleeping somewhere on the grass nearby.
"Now, here's where all of the food for the pets is located, just in case they get hungry." Fluttershy opened up a cabinet with a crap ton of food. All of it was different, from size, to the type of food. I didn't even realize that I started to have my mouth become wide open at this. Why would she need to go grocery shopping with this much food?
"Each bag has only one meal for each pet left. The rest of the food is for me. That's why I need to go buy more." Fluttershy said, grabbing her purse.
"Well, to take care of my pets, first you need to..." Fluttershy started to write some of the instructions down on a piece of paper.
***
"-and that is all you need to know when it comes to taking care of my pets. Did you understand most of it?" Fluttershy asked.
I wasn't paying attention most of the time, so I don't remember most of the details. Doesn't she have a spa session to get to?
"Uh, don't you have a spa appointment to get to? And don't worry, I got this." I told her. She immediately jumped when I mentioned the appointment.
"Oh, I'm almost late for my appointment! Thanks for reminding me ,um, sorry, but what was your name again?"
"It's Trent" I answered, with a light tone of anger.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Trent. I'll be leaving now. Take good care of my pets." Fluttershy said, walking away with a look of embarrassment.
Okay, I have a ton of animals to take care of, and I don't know most of the basics. I'm screwed.
"OK, now how do I take care of all of these pets?" I say to myself, scratching my chin.
A white bunny stood on the table, making him level to my head. I couldn't tell what he was saying, but he pointed towards a book that showed how to take care of animals. How did he know that I didn't know anything?
***
Thanks to the small white bunny, I was able to get through most of the pet sitting without any problems, except for feeding time.
There wasn't that much food for the bears, so they started to attack me. They grabbed me by the neck, and started to choke me for a minute. They then threw me at a tree, roaring in my face and getting saliva on me. Gross. As they were about to continue their great beating of the loser weaking, they realized that there was a bee hive right next to them, so they abandon me for that. Thank God for that. The bunny made me prepare a special salad for him, throwing it at me if I made even one mistake. He is so freaking picky.
Fluttershy finally came back, with a bunch of bags on her hooves.
"Thank you for watching my pets Trent, it was very nice of you. And sorry about earlier today." Fluttershy said, looking a little embarrassed about being afraid of me since I had the body structure of a female pon-err mare.
"Your welcome Fluttershy, and don't worry about earlier today. It's okay." I said, smiling to show her that I wasn't angry.
I decided to walk back to Twilight's after all was said and done. It was getting dark and I was starting to get tired, so it probably would be smart to go there anyway. I walk through the door to see Twilight reading another book, and Spike just tidying up the place more than it already was. Does he do anything besides clean this place up? I hope so. I decided to grab a random fruit from Twilight's bowl of fruit and eat it, then went to sleep, dreaming about flying fast. If I can use these wings to fly, I should probably be able to fly fast eventually.
Day 3
When I woke up, there was a salad prepared by spike, waiting for me and Twilight. We ate it, and it tasted alright. Not bad for a dragon. I assumed he would end up burning it, since he is a dragon after all. After breakfast, I washed up and felt my hair, disliking the Mohawk.
"Is something wrong Trent?" Twilight asked. This Mohawk is not fun to look at in the mirror.
"No, not really." I responded. I didn't want to complain about my hair. I mean, a guy complaining about his hair is stupid. Why would it be worth it for me to complain about this since I did somewhat want something that wouldn't end up making me look like a gir-er mare? Eh, whatever, I could make this work. I hope.
"Hey Trent." Twilight said. She hands me a newspaper pointing at the help wanted area. "You're gonna need to get a job if you want to stay here. Having a third mouth to feed does raise the amount of money needed to pay for everything you know." Twilight said, pointing at a job with a description that seems like it would potentially hurt me.
"Um, do you know an easier job that I could do? I'm kinda bad at the stuff on the paper." I told her. A firefighter? A teacher? A factory worker? I would do awful in all of those jobs. There's even an add for a pet sitter in the paper. Must be Fluttershy's. After thinking about that incident with the bears almost killing me, I immediately threw the paper in the trash.
"Why did you do that? There was still stuff to read!" Twilight said, grabbing the paper out of the trash can, wiping it.
"I can't do any of the jobs listed on the paper. After that incident with Fluttershy's pets, I wouldn't want to pet sit ever again either." I told her. She looked at me confused. Oh yeah, I didn't tell her about that.
"What happened with Fluttershy's pets?" Twilight asked.
"Oh nothing Twilight. I was just beaten up by all of the bears at her cottage." I told her. She started to giggle after hearing this. Spike heard this and burst out laughing.
"Well, there is an opening for a job at Sugarcube Corner. That shouldn't be too hard." Twilight said. dragging me with her magic.
When we arrived at Sugarcube Corner, the owners of the place walked up to Twilight.
"Hello Twilight. What would you like to order?" The owners asked her.
"Oh nothing, Mr and Mrs.Cake. It's actually about a friend of mine. His name is Trent. You see, he is staying at my house due to the lack of extra houses here, and I plan on splitting the finances with him, so I'm gonna need to get him a job. I heard there was an opening here?" Twilight asked them. They nodded with excitement.
"Oh thank goodness someone actually figured out about the job opening! We were trying to hire someone all week! You're friend seems like he would be adequate for this job. It's really simple really: all you do is work the cashier! Not sure why anyone wouldn't want a job like this." The female pony that wasn't Twilight said. Her name was Mrs. Cake, gotta remember that, since she is my boss after all.
"We're just gonna have Pinkie give you the basics. We have a date planned for today." Mr. Cake said, leaving with Mrs. Cake.
"P-P-Pinkie Pie works here?!"
"Yep, and she's really good at her job.Take good care of the shop Pinkie!" They both said, running out of the shop. Pinkie Pie comes out of nowhere, startling me into the ground.
"Oh, hi Trent! Hi Twilight! It's really exciting to see you guys here! I didn't expect this at all, or else I would've thrown a party to celebrate, just like yesterday! Why are you here again?" Pinkie said, bouncing around me and Twilight. It was actually kind of funny, but her annoying personality ruined the fun.
"There was a job opening here, and Trent needed to get a job." Twilight answered."Seeing as how you're good at this job, I'm sure he shouldn't have any problems working here, since you can teach him everything."
"This is not gonna be fun." I mumble to myself. I hope no one hears my crappy sarcastic remark. The way I said it would probably make everyone think that I'd enjoy this.
"Oh, well, I can teach you everything Trent! Just ask me anything, and I can give you a helpful answer!" Said Pinkie Pie. Damn it, am I really gonna be stuck with working with Pinkie Pie? Well, this is soon to be the worst job ev-
"WAIT!" Pinkie Pie interrupted my thoughts. "BE CAREFUL MY TAIL'S A TWICTHIN!" Pinkie Pie screamed, right before she hid under the counter. Twilight put a force field around her self, telling me to go hide.
"Why do I need to hide?" I asked them, looking completely confused.
"When my tail starts to twitch, that means something is gonna fall from the sky!" Pinkie said. How does that make sense to her? Nothing fell in the last few moments. Time to prove her wrong.
"Well, nothing fell from the sky, so I guess your wr-" And of course, something crashes into me. How did it get in here, though? I notice the cyan skin color. Dammit Rainbow.
"OF FREAKING COURSE!!! RAINBOW DASH CRASHES INTO ME YET AGAIN!!!!" I scream. This has been, like the third time she's done this, right?
"Heh, sorry again Trent. I was just practicing my routines again. And you don't have to be so mean. These were just accidents." Rainbow Dash said, helping me up.
"This is like the third time you crashed into me, you lesbian!" I screamed at her. Well, I'm probably gonna die now that I said that. I should've built my grave first before saying that.
"HEY! I"M NOT GAY!" Rainbow Dash said angrily, punching me in the gut, then she started to calm down.
"Well, maybe for Spitfire, but nopony else! You got that?!" Rainbow Dash said, blushing. I am just lying on the ground, moaning in pain as she is talking.
"Sorry about that. I couldn't control myself." Rainbow Dash said, pulling me back up.
"It's alright, I was being jerk. And who's Spitfire?" I asked. Who is that?
"You don't know who Spitfire is? Wow, you must really be new here, Trent."Rainbow Dash pulls out a picture of a pony with a bright gold colored body, and a light orange and light amber hai-err mane.
"She's the captain of the Wonderbolts. Wouldn't you go gay for that?" Rainbow Dash said, still blushing.
"I can tell you're thinking about her the same way I am." Rainbow Dash said, pointing down at my crotch. My pony body finds that attractive?! What the hell?! I don't see how that pony is hot! Still, I decided to cover my private area in embarrassment.
"Don't be embarrassed Trent, you're not the only stallion that would want that. Buck, I'm a mare and I want that!" Rainbow Dash said, lightly punching me. It hurt.
"Can we change the topic already?" I angrily asked everyon-er pony.
"So Dashie, did you want to buy something? I have a ton of sweet and delicious cupcakes to choose from!" Pinkie asked, breaking the silence.
"No thanks Pinkie. I've still got a ton of flying to do!" Rainbow Dash said, preparing her wings to fly away.
"Oh, and Trent, if you ever call me gay again, you better have a grave ready for yourself." Rainbow Dash said. She then flew away after that. Gulp.
"Have fun!" Pinkie said.
"Well, I've got a letter to the Princess that I need to write, I'll let you two attend to your jobs." Twilight said, leaving. Now it's just me and Pinkie at the shop. Crap.
"So, what do you want to do until the customers get here Trent? Wanna play a board game? Or we could sing? Maybe dance? Make cupcakes?" Pinkie asked me, hopping around the insides of the shop.
"I'd rather not do any of those things Pinkie." I told her. I just don't want to do things with her overall. She is just too damn annoying, and I know I called her that like 50 times already. It's just so irritating being with her that my ability to think of synonyms completely disappears.
"Why? Is it because you don't know how to make cupcakes? I can help you with that." Pinkie Pie starts jumping around. Oh God, is she about to sing?
♪"All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix
Now just take a little something sweet, not sour, a bit of salt, just a pinch!..."♪
Pinkie Pie starts to sing a crap load of songs, forcing me to cover my ears in an attempt to block it out, but I can still hear it. Damn it, if this is what my job is going to be like, I'd rather just die right now. This is not, nor ever, going to end up being fun. I already hate my job, and it's only been couple minutes. What are the chances of that?
***
I walked back to Twilight's after work, exhausted as hell. Twilight asked me if I needed some help. I told her I didn't, and immediately went into my bed.
"Uh, I was thinking that, since you were new, you'd maybe like to write down your experience in this town?" Twilight handed me a brown journal, along with a quill and some ink. She proceeded to hop into her own bed, sleeping. Spike finished up his chores, and fell asleep also. Well, I decided that I should write something related to how I was before all of this pony crap started happening, to remind myself that those past events actually did happen.
Dear future Trent,
If you are reading this, then that means you have finally decided to look back at the earlier events of your life, before you became a pony. Life was an alright existence in the human world. Everyone ranged from incredibly nice to I want to rip their throat out mean. You were an alright person in the human world. You had kinda nerdish interest. Well, you spent most of the time on the internet. People looked at you as the invisible one. Well, anyone that wasn't your friend. Your family was decent, and you loved everyone you were related to, no matter how weird they were. You would always try to avoid conflicts, though you would do whatever you felt was right, which usually led to conflicts in the end. Well, anyone that wasn't your friend. Your family was decent, and you loved everyone you were related to, no matter how weird they were. Later on in your life, there were a lot of conflicts that you had faced that made you and your friends become total assholes to everyone around you, though you still kept a little of the old you, even during those tough times. Sometimes, I wondered how those people are doing, since they may or may not know that you are now gone from their lives, maybe to never come back. Don't forget about your past and your past self.
Your past self,
Trent
I put down the quill and dry it. I finally decide to just lie down, thinking about the topic of whether or not I could potentially come back to the human world. It's late at night, so I should probably just go to sleep. Maybe there might be a solution, but I'm not sure if I'm just believing in a false hope.
Day 21
It's been weeks after the events of the earlier chapter, and I'm finally adjusting to this place. First, these ponies are nicer than most of the asshats on Earth. Second, They don't have a murderous desire to value all things wrong(I'm looking at you, America). And third, the sweets taste awesome, but don't tell Pinkie, or she'll annoy the hell out of me. I finally started coping with the assumption that I would probably be stuck as a pony, though I still write in my journal about returning home.
Living with Twilight isn't as bad as I thought it would be. She has an endless amount of books to read, and she can lull me to sleep if I can't sleep at night. She gave me a book to write my observations in after I came back from the first day on the job. Having to pay for a portion of everything isn't that bad actually, since I do make a decent amount of money from my job anyway. She levitated me into the wall for beating up Spike after he bumped into me a couple days ago. I guess my actions do have consequences here.
Rarity is actually not that bad to be around, even with her "EVERYTHING HAS TO BE COUTH!" attitude. I made her change my Mohawk to something else, because my hatred for Mohawks took over me one day, making me run into her shop and demanding that she change it. She made it a mullet, which was better(I guess?). I'm surprised that she didn't get mad over the change, since me telling her that I didn't like the Mohawk almost brought her to tears the first time I got a manecut.
Applejack is being her alright self, so there's not much to say about her.
Rainbow Dash gave me crap for having the mullet, yet she has a Rainbow colored hairstyle. She is just being a bitch to me overall. If it's because of how I was being an ass to everyone, I guess it's understandable. The flying lessons have been OK though. She seems to not be as bitchy to me during those sessions than when in public, though she still hits me when I do something wrong, which is about once every 5 minutes.
Fluttershy is too shy to learn anything about her. She reminds me of a girl I used to have a crush on back at home. She was shy like Fluttershy is, if not even more shy.
AJ's older brother, Big Macintosh, talks too little.
Pinkie Pie is still annoying as hell. She is the only thing that can still completely kill my mood in the span of 1 second. She sings all the time, only eats sweets, dances everywhere, does random unexplainable crap, and much more irritable things that get on my nerves. I can never think straight when I'm near her.
***
It was the end of the work day(again), and I just sold the last cupcake to Rainbow Dash. She wanted a normal one, but with Rainbow frosting on top of it. Pinkie Pie decided to jump out of nowhere holding a plate of cupcakes.
"Hey Trenty! Wanna have a cupcake to celebrate the end of the workday?" Pinkie says, passing me a chocolate cupcake.
"I'd rather not Pinkie." I said. Every freaking time the work shift is over she would do this. She's been doing this for 3 WEEKS!
"Aw, why not? Isn't chocolate your favorite? I personally like something with a little more pink in it, but it's OK for you to like different types of cupcakes! If it wasn't, then why would there be so many kinds to eat?" Pinkie proclaimed, putting a plate filled with all sorts of cupcakes on the counter. There was a Rainbow cupcake, a vanilla cupcake, a strawberry cupcake, a mint cupca- ah screw it, there were a crapload of cupcake types on the platter.
Pinkie continued to talk about some random nonsense, so I decided to take a cupcake and eat it until she suddenly stopped talking, replacing her speech with a loud gasp.
*Gasp* "Trent?! Which cupcake did you take?!" Pinkie asked me with concern.
"Just a random one. Why do you ask?" I told her. What did she do to these cupcakes if she is worried that I took one of them?
A rush of heat fills through my body, giving me the feeling of being on fire. I immediately(and stupidly) took another cupcake, scarfing it down hoping it would cool me down. Boy, am I a silly pony. I was able to run into the kitchen, filling my whole body with water until I started to get bloated to the point of expanding my body and floating into the air.
"That was my cupcake! I put on a ton of hot sauce, just for me!" Pinkie said, stomping her hoof into the ground. She pokes me, which causes me to slowly decrease the level of water in me, fixing the bloated body problem and bringing me back onto the ground. Well, at least she's useful for something.
"Sorry about taking your cupcake, Pinkie." I said. I hated her, but even I understood the topic of possessing something.
"It's OK, I can make more! I even brought the bottle with me!" *Pulls a bottle out of the wall* "Do you want some Trent?" She asked, waving the bottle in my face. After that experience with hot sauce, and the time when I first came here, I would never want to try hot sauce ever again.
"No thanks. I'm just gonna go. See ya tomorrow Pinkie." I started to walk away. She immediately tossed a cupcake at the back of of head while waving goodbye. It hurt. She was a really good thrower. When I grabbed the remains of the cupcake, turns out there was no damage to it. How did she do that?
When I got to Twilight's. I just collapsed on the floor. I don't know why, but today has made me really tired compared to every other day.
"Are you OK Trent?" Twilight pulls me up with her magic aura. It tickles, causing me to uncontrollably giggle. She drops me, causing moi to crash on the floor, looking at me strangely in the process. Luckily I had the strength to get back up.
"I have no idea what just happened." I said. well, this was a random start to a random end of the day. Well, more random than usual at least.
"So, need me to do anything Twi?" I asked her, bored out of my mind.
"Not really, there are a ton of books you can read, though." Twilight tells me, pulling out a book of the Daring Do series.
I decided to read the stories of the pony that I look like. She seems pretty tough. Wouldn't want her to know that I look(or used to look) just like her though.
When I went to sleep, I had a rather strange dream.
It was a breezy summer day. It was my birthday party, and everyone that was here was a human. I was one too. We played games, ate some cake, opened some crappy last minute presents, and a lot more. It was a fun time.
I woke up in the middle of the night, looking at my arms, seeing that they are still hooves. That was a really strange dream. It actually made me want to desire to become a human again. But I'm not sure if that could actually happen.
Day 22
That dream must've done a number to me, since my mullet was reversed when I woke up. It was long in the front and short in the back. How could that happen? Regardless, I just wash my hair with water and shake my head, which seems to fix it. I was a little tired, which Twilight and Spike were able to notice.
"Hey Trent, did you sleep alright last night? You seem drowsy." Twilight said, pushing a drink towards me. "Drink this, I think it might help." I drank the cup, which somehow helped my lack of sleep problem.
I jumped up, feeling like I was ready for the new day. I drank the rest of the drink, still not knowing what it was. While I was drinking the whatever I was sipping, that random mark on Twilight's rear(don't give me that look) caught my attention. What was it and why was it there?
"Uh, Twilight. What is that thing on your behind?" I asked her, feeling a little embarrassed asking about her ass.
"It's a cutie mark. All adult ponies should have one. How could you not know what a cutie mark is?" She notices that I don't have one on my ass. "Never mind." Wait, all ponies have one and I don't?
"Did you say all adult ponies should have one? Because I don't." I responded. If that really is true, then that kind of worries me. Twilight looks like she is getting frustrated with my lack of pony knowledge.
"Do you even know anything about being a pony?! I mean, seriously, it's like you aren't actually a pony." She started to scan my body with her eyes for a second. "Hm, interesting." She says, writing something down. What did she write down?
"Well, if you really don't know that much about ponies and their cutie marks, I guess I should be the one to teach you, since I do have all of these books to help me anyway." She sits on her chair.
"A cutie mark is a mark that appears on your body, specifically by your flank, when you do a task that is apart of what you are meant to do with your life. It could also be a representation of your destiny. Mine is related to the fact I am an expert magic user." She says, opening up a book while talking.
"Applejack's cutie mark is for working on the apple farm. Rarity's is for her ability to find gems with a spell, which allowed her to make beautiful dresses."
Oh, so that's why Rarity had gems on her ass. Twilight continues, telling the cutie marks of the rest of the ponies.
"Rainbow Dash's cutie mark represents her speed, and how she is the fastest thing in Equestria. She works as a weather pony, though desires to be a member of the Wonderbolts, a team of fast flyers. Pinkie Pie's cutie mark is balloons, representing her outgoing personality and how she is the pony that throws a ton of parties, which are fun to be a part of." Twilight said, still reading her book.
Pinkie's parties are fun?! How?!
"And least but not least, Fluttershy's cutie mark is for the fact that she is amazing with animals. That's why she is able to have the bears that beat you up as a pet." Twilight finally stops talking, thank god.
"You understand all of that?" She asks me. Oddly enough, I did.
"Yes. It wasn't that hard to comprehend. Why were you scanning my body?" I asked her. She started to look around, probably thinking of an excuse for that awkward action.
"Uh, no reason." She replied, starting to sweat. Whatever, doesn't truly matter.
"Shall we continue the talk of cutie marks?" She asks me. I nod."OK then. Fillies and colts, also known as young ponies, obtain their cutie marks at a young age, around 10 years old I guess. Some later than others." Twilight continued. Really, at 10? I'm probably like, at least 15 in pony years, so that's a little surprising.
"So, how would I get mine?" I ask. If I was originally a human, what would that mean for the ponified version of me?
"It is supposed to occur randomly, when you finally do what you were destined to do." Twilight said, reading a different book.
"Anyways, a cutie mark is very important to a pony. I think that's all the information I can really say without making it overcomplicated for someone like you." Twilight closes her book, and finally stops talking about those damn cutie marks. I'm glad that's over.
"Did you just insult me?!" I angrily said, clenching my hooves. Wait, did I just clench something that can't be clenched? Whatever, she is going to pay for making fun of me.
"No, I didn't, Trent! I'm just saying that you don't have as high of a comprehension level as I do." Twilight said, sweating.
"You should remember what happened the last time someone insulted me. It happened in your house anyway." I said, preparing a fighting stance. I will not let a pony insult me and get away with it. Twilight started to look extremely worried. She started to glow and-
BONK!
Twilight hit me over the head with a blunt object, causing me to pass out for a few minutes.
***
After those few minutes of blackness, I noticed that I was tied up. Where did the rope come from?
"Trent, you need to control all of that anger you have. It's not very healthy to have anyway. I scheduled a session with Fluttershy for you, since she helps with anger management." Twilight said, looking at me with suspicion.
"I don't have anger management issues! And why are you looking at me like that?!" I asked her, She is really started to confuse me with those very observatory scans.
"I'm trying to see if you have some memories that cause your anger. For some reason, I am seeing creatures of the human race doing very violent things. Very odd. Is there something your hiding?"
"NO! Why would you need to know anyway?!" I screamed at her. Wow, I am a dumbass, because now she will probably use that tone as confirmation that I'm hiding something.
"Well, the princess sent me a letter, requesting that Spike and I go to Canterlot to visit her, so you get off with a warning. Calm down Trent. It will really help you in the long run, especially with your Rainbow Dash problem." Twilight answered.
"Wait, why don't I have to go? I live here, don't I?" I asked.
"I didn't tell her about you yet. This visit will probably be the best time anyway, though." She says, putting on a hat and purse and untying me.
"I heard Applejack needs some help on the farm today, maybe you can go help her." Twilight and Spike start walking out the door.
"Oh, and don't damage the house." She says as she boards the train that is oddly close to her house.
Well, time to help the orange one.
***
I arrive at Sweet Apple Acres, looking for Applejack. I found her leaving her house, so I ran up to her, since I had nothing better to do.
"Well, howdy Trent. Glad you came to help!" Applejack says, smiling.
"What do you need me to do?" I ask her, waiting to finally do something.
"Ah have to buck a ton of Apples today, and Big Mac hurt himself, so I gotta work by mahself. And since Twilight ain't gonna show up and do it all in one second, ah thought having a second pony helping me with mah bucking sure could save some time." Applejack says, pulling out a wheelbarrow for the apples(Go away, perverted brain).
"Y'all ready to buck?" She asks. That sounds so dirty right now. I'm kinda scared, to be honest. Damn you perverted mind. Alright, back to reality.
"You got it." I say, trying my hardest to make the apples fall out of the tree. I did not accomplish any bucking.
"Y'all don't know how to buck, do ya?" She says. Damn it, she saw through me.
"This is how ya do it. Just stand behind a tree, prepare your hips, and kick." Applejack proceeds to kick the tree, knocking all of the apples to fall out. Some of them bounced off of me. It hurt.
"Ow. OK, I think I got it." I say, getting ready to buck a tree. Gross. I stand right behind the tree, getting ready to raise my legs. I lift them up, kicking the tree with all my might. Nothing happened. Not surprised actually. I was pretty weak as a human, so I'm not surprised that trait would carry over to me here too.
"Wow, y'all ain't that strong." Applejack says, snickering. This is school all over again, with everyone being stronger than me.
"Well, y'all can pick the apples if you want to." She hands me a bucket for the apples. I start to pick the apples off of the tree, though it takes forever. I start to get impatient, so I start hitting the trees with a shovel, which works and knocks more of the apples out of the trees than when I was just picking them.
I was having so much fun picking the apples at an incredibly fast rate for hours, when an apple fell on me, knocking me out. It hurt a lot.
***
I wake up a short while later with Applejack and a yellow pony with a red mane looking at me. She looks very familiar.
"Are ya OK, sugarcube? Those apples look like they did a number to y'all." Applejack says, lifting me up.
"I'm alright. It's just an apple. They don't hurt that much." I said. Based on the look Applejack has, it looks like I set off a fuse.
"DID Y'ALL JUST MAKE FUN OF APPLES!?" Applejack is starting to turn red. I better start running away, shouldn't I?
"Uh, no I didn't. Honest!" I said, sweating a lot. She starts to run after me, but is roped by the shorter pony. She is screaming obscenities at me and struggling to get out of the rope.
"AH'MA KILL YA FOR MAKING FUN OF APPLES!!" She says, trying to break free from the rope. She backed me up into the closest tree, and I screamed for my life.
"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!" I say, screaming like the wimp I am. I think a tear came out of my eye. Can't let the ladie-errr mares see that, so I wiped it away. Applejack finally starts to calm down. Her hooves stop moving around as if she were a maniac, and she starts to slowly breath in.
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say anything harmful." I said, her color starts to turn orange again.
"Sorry sugarcube." She unties herself(wait, what?) and grabs an apple, holding it in her hooves.
"Ya see, ah love apples, and this is what ah've been doing mah whole life, so when ah thought you were makin fun of them, I couldn't control mahself." She says, looking down with her hooves behind her head in embarrassment. Wow, that's the same thing I would always do as a human whenever I got embarrassed(minus the trying to kill someone part).
"Hey sis?" The little one starts poking Applejack. "Ah see that your friend doesn't have a cutie mark. Is it OK if ah make him a member of mah club?" The little one starts to look at me.
"Well Applebloom, ah think he's too old for a club like yours, but ah'm sure he could play with ya for a short while." Applejack says.
"Well, ah gotta buck the rest of the apples, so have fun! and sorry about all of that Trent." Applejack says, starting to kick the trees with her strong legs. Definitely wouldn't want to be kicked by those. Me and the little one, presumably named Applebloom, start to walk to wherever she wants me to go.
***
We arrive at some treehouse in the middle of the town. It's pretty decent looking. From what Applebloom told me, she and her friends built it without any help. That's actually kinda impressive. When we walked into the clubhouse, there were two ponies waiting for us: an orange one and a marshmallow colored one. They both walk up to us, talking to Applebloom with excitement.
"Hey Applebloom!" The orange one says, riding a scooter around.
"Hi Scootaloo!" Says Applebloom. A pony named Scootaloo is riding a scooter. How original.
"Uh, Applebloom, who's your friend?" The marshmallow colored one points at me.
"Thanks for asking Sweetie Belle. His name is Trent." Applebloom starts to points at my ass. "Look girls, he's doesn't have a cutie mark, just like us!" Oh no...
"HE'S A BLANK FLANK TOO!!!????" Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle start to jump around in excitement. I noticed that they don't have cutie marks. That probably explains their excitement.
"We have so much to do! First, we have to make you an honorary member of the club. Then we have to do all of the activities I have listed on this giant piece of paper!" Sweetie Belle pulls out a sheet of paper that is big enough to knock all of us out of the clubhouse.
"Heh, sorry girls." Sweetie Belle starts rolling up the paper.
***
We started off with the first thing on that giant list of activities: Karate. This should be fun(I'm being sarcastic).
***
It was short lived since none of us(except for Applebloom) knew karate. Everyone here got hurt(not in a deadly "we need to send that person to the hospital!" way) at least once. Sweetie Belle hurt herself way before anything actually happened. Me and Scootaloo got our asses handed to us by Applebloom. She didn't even try to fight and we went down instantly. She later decided to try to break a cinder block with her hoof. Bad idea. Applebloom slammed her hoof into the cinder block, causing nothing to happen to the block itself but resulting in Applebloom screaming in pain. I tried to break the block myself, but missed the block and smashing the floor. When we left the place, all of us were somehow acting as if those injuries had never happened. Weird.
I decided to use asshole/moron logic when it came to the activities they could do for their cutie marks. I remembered how unicorns could levitate things, because of the incident with Twilight yesterday, so I threw a bunch of rocks at Sweetie Belle, with every single one hitting her, and her screaming in pain. She was not happy after that.
"HEY! WHY DID YOU DO THAT???!!!!" Sweetie Belle said, cracking her voice. Sweetie Belle's horn is starting to glow, I feel like I should get worried. She started to shoot a laser out of her horn and levitated all of the rocks at me. I gloriously move out of the way of each one. And then it turned out that the rocks immediately rebounded back towards me, and she ended up pelting me with all of the rocks in the area, knocking me down with excruciating pain.
***
A flashback of me playing dodgeball in school starts to occur while Sweetie Belle is killing me with the rocks. It was gym class, and people were being picked for the teams. And I got picked last. When the game started, it played like a sorta fair game of dodgeball. My team lost in the end. After that, everyone got a dodgeball and looked at me with evil eyes. They all prepared the balls and threw them at me all at once. I was not able to dodge a single one of those balls. It hurt like hell and I was sore for a week after that.
***
After the amount of useable rocks becomes nonexistent , Sweetie Belle started to calm down, looking really guilty.
"Oh my gosh, I'm really sorry. I don't know what took over me." Sweetie Belle grabs my hoof and helps me up.
"You don't really need to apologize. Trent did pelt you with them first. And that was so cool!" Scootaloo starts to praise Sweetie Belle even more after that. How is it that Sweetie Belle does not look that injured? Hey look, I'm not actually injured either. What?
***
I decided to mess with the girls even more, with Scootaloo in mind. I brought them up to a cliff, and was about to push Scootaloo off of the cliff onto a shadow, hopefully scaring her. Applebloom noticed me unfortunately.
"Hey Trent, what do ya think you're doing?" Applebloom says. Damn, time to think of something fast.
"Uh, Scootaloo is a Pegasus, right? Pegasi can fly, so that means Scootaloo's cutie mark probably has to do with flying, am I right?" I asked them. They don't seem to put up an argument, so I assume they think I'm right. Perfect. I start to push Scootaloo even closer to the edge of the cliff, but she stops.
"Uh, Trent? Are you sure this is a good idea? I still can't fly." Scootaloo says, looking at me with worry. I don't say anything and push her off the cliff. I guess I can understand why Rainbow did this to me, since this was actually pretty fun.
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Scootaloo is starting to freak out a ton, but there was a cloud below her, so she bounces back up to us, falling on her head, and getting those dizziness lines that characters are given in some cartoons.
"Wh-What just happened?" Scootaloo says, spinning her head repeatedly. Applebloom holds her head still, looking at me.
"Why the hay did you just do that Trent? You could'a killed her!" Scootaloo fully recovers after Applebloom stops talking.
"Rainbow Dash did the same to me and it worked, so I assumed it would work for you too." I reply, hoping they believe me. Scootaloo jumps up at the sound of that.
"Rainbow Dash said that?! Then push me off again! I'll make her proud!" Scootaloo lines herself up next to the edge again, but Sweetie Belle pushes her towards us and holds her down, even though Scootaloo isn't really struggling to break free.
"NO! You're not gonna get yourself hurt doing something stupid!" Sweetie Belle screams, cracking her voice again.
"Why don't we do something safer?" Applebloom says. The others nod in agreement with her. 3vs1? Crap. OK, they win this time.
"Alright, we'll do something safer." I say, walking with the three of them back into town.
***
Applebloom suggested that we could skydive to try to get cutie marks. Scootaloo backed out almost immediately(with good reason) and Sweetie Belle hopped around in excitement when she heard this. Skydiving? With ponies? This won't end well.
Applebloom somehow acquired the gear needed for skydiving, such as parachutes and the clothing necessary for this activity. She and Sweetie Belle somehow put their gear on instantly. I mean, I blinked and bam, they had their gear on. I'm still struggling to put the parachute on though, so they both take the time to help me.
When we finished with our(my) gear problems, we all started to walk towards a cliff, since we didn't have money to go into the sky for this. Scootaloo was with us the whole time, looking worried and not wearing any of the equipment. She said that she wanted to watch, so whatever.
Applebloom and Sweetie Belle walked up to the edge of the cliff, when they noticed I wasn't with them.
"Hey, aren't ya gonna jump with us?" Applebloom started to pull my arm towards the edge of the cliff. When I looked down, I instantly saw why Scootaloo didn't want to skydive. That really looks like a big fall. That would hurt tremendously if I were to slam into the ground. And now that I said that, I'm going to slam into the ground. Even more reason to be scared.
"Uh, on second thought Applebloom, I sorta don't want to do this anymore." I said, trying to get out of this. Sweetie Belle is starting to look irritated with me.
"But you have to! You threw rocks at me and pushed Scootaloo off of a cliff! You have to do this! At least to make up for being a jerk earlier today!" Sweetie Belle's voice cracks again. I should start counting those voice cracks. I'll assume that was voice crack number 5.
***
Back to the present. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom hold my hooves and the three of us look down the mountain. Gulp.
"Ar-Are you sure this is safe?" I ask them. They both nod as a reply. Crap.
"OK, when Ah say three, we all jump. Don't worry Trent, ah'll hold yer hand the whole time." Applebloom smiles at me. She just mocked me and expects me to be ok with that. Screw that. I let go of her hand and get start to prepare to jump. The two follow and stand i different poses, waiting for Applebloom to say three. I notice the sweat on Sweetie Belle, but ignore it.
"OK, now one, two...THREE!!!!" Applebloom and Sweetie Belle jump off of the cliff, holding onto my hoof when they jumped, which causes me to fall with them.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I ended up separating from the two small ponies while we were falling. The amount of force I felt while I was falling was way too much. The force I felt was too much for me to continue holding onto their hooves. The rush of adrenaline that I felt during this wasn't enough to sustain me for all of the fall. Tears started to come out of my eyes, and the wind felt like it was punching me in my gut. I couldn't even open up my eyes while I was falling. I started to wave my arms all over the place in hopes that it would help me slow down. It didn't work at all. Scootaloo was still up there at the top, watching us. She gasps, then starts to run down the mountain to meet up with us.
"OH MY GOSH!!!!" Sweetie Belle is screaming, sounding like she's having the time of her life. She is smiling and waving all over the place, giggling and dancing while falling. How is this fun again?
"AH TOLD YA THIS WOULD BE FUN!!!!" Applebloom is doing spins while she is talking in the air. She was also moving through the clouds while she was falling. How the hell does that work? I'm still falling, screaming at the top of my lungs.
"I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!" I scream. Dammit, I suck at this. I'm still falling at 10 million miles an hour while Sweetie Belle and Applebloom look like their having the time of their lives, and look as if they're falling at a much slower pace.
As we start getting near the ground, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle start to pull the string to release the parachutes into the sky, allowing them to safely land on the ground. When I started to pull for my string, I ended up bouncing off of a cloud, bumping all over the place. I bounced onto more clouds, then ended up slamming to the nearby mountain. I couldn't move, so I was fated to fall down without any way to recover. Turns out I wasn't that far from the ground though, since i slammed into the ground without getting a single mark on me. Scootaloo runs up to me with an expression of worry.
"Are you OK?! That looked like it really hurt!" She grabs my hooves, pulling me up and onto my feet.
"Thanks, Scootaloo. That is your name, right?" I ask her. My forgetfulness is showing yet again. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle run up to us and jumping around with joy, with none of their clothes on(REMOVE ALL POSSIBILITIES OF PERVERTED THOUGHTS BRAIN, THEY"RE PROBABLY JUST AROUND 10 YEARS OLD!). They both look at us with confusion, since me and Scootaloo both look worn out.
"Why the long faces? Wasn't that fun?!" Applebloom says, holding Sweetie Belle and doing synchronized dance. She looks so happy right now.
"Rarity would kill me if she found out about this!" Sweetie Belle says, cracking her voice with excitement yet again(voice crack number 6). She has a huge grin, and looks like she is going to explode due to her happiness right now.
They both are just running around, celebrating at how fun it was for them, while me and Scootaloo were discussing how terrifying it was for me, and wondering how Sweetie Belle and Applebloom found this fun. We even brought up the topic of how they were so good at it, though they don't have their cutie marks on them though. We went for milkshakes later after all was said and done. They tasted pretty alright. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle wouldn't shut up about their "AWESOME SKYDIVING!" and that was what they talked about the whole time we were at the milkshake place. Me and Scootaloo just rolled our eyes listening to them. It was not fun, especially when they brought up how scared I looked while I was falling. I wanted to hit them after that, but I must control my anger, like Twilight said.
***
It somehow went from the middle of the day to sunset. Wow, time sure does move fast.
"Soooo, it's getting pretty late and Applejack wants me to help her buck the apples tomorrow, so I gotta get to bed early, see ya girls!...And Trent!" Applebloom immediately runs all the way back to Sweet Apple acres in record speed. How does that work again? Sweetie Belle started to open her mouth to say something, but yawned before she said a peep.
"Rarity will kill me if I'm late home again, so goodbye Scootaloo and Trent!" Sweetie Belle starts running off now. The only thing is that she is actually running at an average pace though. I'm glad some normality still exist after all of that. Now it's just me and Scootaloo. She get's on her scooter, and puts on her helmet, looking like she is ready to move at a fast speed.
"Well, that was fun and all, but I gotta catch some sleep. See ya Trent." Scootaloo starts to slowly move her scooter, but speeds it up quickly.
***
I return to Twilight's house yet again, and prepare myself for sleep. Twilight wasn't going to come back till later, so I decided to finally fix up my assholeness and clean(a small portion) of Twilight's house. I didn't actually do much, but meh, it was noticeable.
***
I was having yet another dream about being a human again. This makes it the 4th time this has happened to me. It was of me at school in lunch, being with all of my friends. We really weren't anything special back in high school. In the dream, we talked about plans for later in the day, how bad the school lunches were, and any other school related stuff we could think of. We brought up a couple video games, but then a group of assholes started to walk up to me. They were incredibly hostile, and stuck fear into my friends and me, making us all shake. We were surrounded to the point where it looked like none of us could make it out, so we all decided to just stick together. All of those assholes were 6'3, and looked like they took steroids. Since this was a dream, but I only had a small portion of control over it, I made so that they did have steroids, and that they stupidly had that drug on them, which would cause them to get kicked off of the football team once their coach caught them with it. The only problem in the dream was that the steroids also make people angry, which worked on those jocks. They started to punch me in the gut, to the point where I started to shed blood. I started to get dizzy from the pain and from being knocked around so much, but then there was a dark blue mist covering over everything, and a tall dark blue pony with wings and a horn walked up to me. She was taller than me.
"Who are you? I have never seen one such as yourself before." The blue pony is talking in a really loud voice. It's starting to hurt my ears, so I cover them with my hands-wait a second, their hooves again. I start to open my mouth, but then I stop to think about how I would explain the human dreams.
"How come I have never seen a pony like you before? I have visited every single one of the ponies that are in the land at least once before they reach adulthood." She looks at me, circling me.
"Well, it's kind of a story that wouldn't make sense to anypony, not even me." I start to say, looking at the blue pony straight in the eye. I see that she has a unique dress on, so I assume she is of royalty. Probably a princess.
"Please explain, I do have time. And explain that weird dream that I just saw." The blue pony looks at me with a stern expression.
***
I explain to her that I was originally a human, and that I don't know how, but I was somehow transformed into a pony, and put into this land with no knowledge of how I got here.
"Hm, that is quite an unexpected explanation. And how can I be sure that a pony such as yourself is actually a human? There is a pony in Ponyville with a human obsession, and she has human dreams all of the time. I do find it weird, but she seems to enjoy those dreams, so I do not disturb her." She started to look at me with suspicion. "Although I do sense a strange aura around you. Have you been involved in any spell accidents prior to today?" She asks me.
"No, I have not. Twilight was looking at me with the same expression that you had." I told her. She started to look surprised.
"Twilight Sparkle knows of you?! and did not tell me nor my sister of your presence?! How rude!" She starts to put on an angered face. I need to think of something that will calm her down.
"Twilight said that she was going to Canterlot today for an unexplained reason, and said that she would tell her of my existence and how I am technically her new roommate." I told her. She is surprised when she hears this.
"Twilight made you her roommate? Why?" The blue pony asked me. I probably should've explained that before.
"There were no houses in Ponyville for me to buy, and I didn't have money anyway. She got me a job at sugarcube corner." I told her. She started to look at me with a poker face(I hate that song).
"So be it. There is another pony that requires my assistance, so I'm afraid this chat is over for now. I shall visit tomorrow night to see if you really are who you say you are." The blue pony disappears without a trace. Probably should've asked for her name. Well, that was scary. Time for dreams of blackness to help me go to sleep.
Day 23
I wake up(yet again), but this time, there is a mild change in the morning: Twilight and Spike aren't here. They must still be at Canterlot. I look through the supplies of food that I could find and make myself a breakfest out of 2 apples, 1 orange, and a glass of water. Not too shabby for a perso-er pony that can't cook. I decided to go to Fluttershy's for that anger management class since I had nothing better to do.
Twilight and Spike are still gone, meaning I had the house to myself. After the morning ended, I went to Fluttershy's immediately. When I arrived at the house, I approached it with caution. The last time I came here I was beaten up by animals, so everytime I passed an animal, I stared at them straight in the eye, moving slowly towards Fluttershy's cottage. I opened the door, and there she was, the yellow owner of these vicious pets.
"Hello Trent. You're here for that anger management class, right." Fluttershy asked, grooming the hair of one of her pets.
"Obviously. Why else would I be here?" I told her. She grabbed my hoof and pulled me inside.
"OK. Starting as soon as possible would probably be best, but would you like a cup of tea first?" Fluttershy started to pour tea into 2 cups, and pushed one towards me.
"No thanks." I pushed the cup back at her.
"So, what would you like to talk about?" Fluttershy asked, staring at me.
"What do you mean?" I asked her back. I thought this was anger management, not hanging out or something like that.
"Anger usually comes from a source, so I was hoping that information would help you figure out how to calm yourself down." Fluttershy took a sip of her tea.
"I don't know, I just hate everything here." I told her.
"Why?" Fluttershy asked with persistence.
"Like I said, I don't know." I told her. She doesn't look convinced.
"You probably know. I'm sure you're just hiding the reasons somewhere deep down inside. That could probably explain why there are problems between you and Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy said, finishing her tea.
"There are problems between me and Rainbow Dash because she is a bitch." I told her. She looked at me confused.
"Rainbow Dash is not a female dog. Where would you get that from?" Fluttershy asked. Does she not know what the other meaning of bitch it?
"No, what I meant was that there is a problem between us because she is always mean." I told her.
"Rainbow Dash is not mean! She may be brash, but she is not mean!" Fluttershy protested.
"How would you know?! She's been beating me up ever since I got here!" I told her. And the anger that made Twilight force me to take this class is back.
"From what Rainbow Dash told me, you started everything." Fluttershy said, looking at me straight in the eye.
"How could I have started everything?!" I asked, starting to scream at her. Fluttershy started to hide behind her mane.
"Well, you called her gay." Fluttershy made a squeaky noise after saying that.
"I know, but is she really that anger from being called gay?" I asked Fluttershy. How can calling someone gay make them that angry?
"Yes she is. Everypony thinks she's gay, and it gets on her nerves because of that. She even tried to date a random stallion to make everyone see that she is straight, but it didn't work." Fluttershy said, looking down.
"I know Rainbow Dash can be brash, but we've been friends for a long time, and she's shown me that she can be a really sweet mare, if you'd just give her a chance. I'm sure you and her could be really good friends." Fluttershy said, grabbing my hoof.
"We were going to hang out later today, maybe you'd like to come?" Fluttershy starting to pulled my hoof while she was walking out the door.
"Sure, whatever. If she really is as sweet as you say, I guess I could resolve things with her." I told Fluttershy, still being held by her hooves.
"Really? That's great! We have to meet up with her now then! This will be the first step to helping you with your anger problems!" Fluttershy started to run out the door while till holding me, so I was basically voluntarily being kidnapped.
***
When we arrived at Rainbow Dash's house(well, when Fluttershy arrived, since I still can't fly that well.), Rainbow Dash came out of the door, looking really happy to see Fluttershy. When they got back to the ground, Rainbow Dash looked at me, and her expression completely changed.
"Why is he here?! He's an asshole!" Rainbow Dash screamed. How could Fluttershy see her as a sweet mare?
"Back at you, gay bitch." After I said that Rainbow Dash lunged at me, punching me 2 times, then being pulled off of me by Fluttershy.
"Guys! Stop fighting! You two need to hang out more! There is no reason either of you should be this hostile towards each other!" Fluttershy started to tug at Rainbow Dash's hooves."Please Dashie?" Rainbow Dash sighed, then looked at her.
"You're lucky it's you asking me to do this Fluttershy. If you were anypony else I would've just left right now." Rainbow Dash starts to fly around me and Fluttershy.
"So, what were we going to do again Fluttershy?" I ask her. Rainbow Dash slows down and looks at Fluttershy.
"Yeah, what are we going to do? You never did tell me." Rainbow Dash says, landing back on her hooves.
"Well, um, I was planning on just doing something really simple and calm, like a picnic with the two of you and my animal friends." Fluttershy starts dragging me and Rainbow Dash away.
***
Fluttershy ended up dragging the two of us to a grassy plain. All of her animal friends arrived out of nowhere, helping her set up the picnic. I have no idea where any of the stuff came from. From the baskets filled with food to the blankets to the bottles of water, everything just came out of nowhere for Fluttershy to set up this picnic. There is food on plates placed all over the blankets, and somehow, the stuff was set up so that there were 3 spots on the blanket where me, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash could sit. When we were about to sit down, me and Rainbow Dash both noticed that we would end up sitting literally right next to each other, which caused us both to hesitate. Since Fluttershy pestered the both of us into trying to be friendly towards each other, we both just shrugged that fact off and sat down like it was nothing. A squirrel walks up to me and Rainbow Dash, giving us sandwiches. They had meat on them, which is weird since I've never seen a pony eating meat before.
Rainbow Dash grabs a sandwich, takes a bite out of it, and looks at Fluttershy.
"You know we're not going to get along with each other, right Fluttershy?" I nod in agreement.
Fluttershy pets one of the bunnies, looking at us.
"Don't say that, Dashie. I know that both you and Trent can become great friends if you'd just give each other a chance!"
Rainbow Dash starts to pull out a Daring Do book and reads it while me and Fluttershy continue to eat. Fluttershy then lights up, grabbing me and Rainbow Dash.
"Oh, maybe Trent can go with you to the Daring Do convention next week!" Fluttershy continues with the tugging of Rainbow Dash. She proceeds to sigh after that.
"Alright, fine. Trent can come with me to the Da-Daring Do convention."
"Yay! That convention is going to be so much fun for the two of you!" Fluttershy grabs the two of us and we go back into town. First, we went to Rainbow Dash's house and dropped her off, then we arrived at Twilight's.
"Ok Trent, can you promise me you're going to try to have fun with Rainbow Dash at the convention?" Fluttershy moves up to my face.
"Alright, I'll do it." This is not going to be fun.
"Really?!" Fluttershy starts to fly around."Next week is going to be so much fun for the two of you!" Fluttershy then proceeds to fly away.
Well, plans for next week have already been made for me.
When I get home, I grab a random book and read it for hours.
***
"WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING??!!!!!!!"
I threw the book at the ground, and felt the urge to puke, but was able to fight it off. I just read some weird pony book about ponies having sex, and every scene with sex in it had contained a TON of details. It was gross, and there was no storyline in it anyway. It was just "Hello", then BAM! Sex scene. It was like that for the whole book. All 500 pages. And each sex scene was 69 pages long. Yes, I counted. Why the hell didn't I stop reading it?! I decided to look at the title of the book, wondering who the hell would write something like this. There was no author on the cover, but the name reminded me of something back when I was a human.
"50 shades of Hay" Seriously?! A book that sounds like a ponified version of that shitty 50 shades of Grey book?! This is just too fucking ridiculous for me to handle. Why would Twilight even have a book like this?! I hear the door open, and there she is, the purple pervert, and her purple and green slave.
"Hello Trent. Spike and I learned about some very interesting things during our trip to the Canterlot. We need to talk." Twilight starts to pour herself a cup of tea. She may think what she wants to talk about may be important, but she is not getting away with owning a book like this, so I'm going to get her to talk about this terrible book first.
"Before we talk, I need to ask you something. WHY DO YOU OWN THIS BOOK?!" I threw the copy of 50 shades of Hay at her face. She caught it with her magic and put it back in her shelf. She starts to laugh.
"I own every book in all of Equestria. Did you seriously think that I wouldn't have a book like this?" She stares at me with a poker face.
"But it's awful! No storyline! No interesting characters! And everything that happens in the book is stupid! The ponies just have sex the whole time, nothing else!" I slam my hooves onto the table. I just mentioned sex around a kid. Crap. Twilight sent Spike to an area where he wouldn't be able to hear us after that.
"I know, but I need to own every book! Now let's just skip to what I need to talk to you about and forget this ever happened!" Twilight put her tea down onto the table.
"Alright then, but this isn't over." I said, finally starting to calm down.
"When I talked to Celestia, she told me something very interesting after I told her about you." Twilight told a sip of her tea. "Over the past week, I started to see a strange aura emitting itself around you. I decided to ignore it at first when I noticed it, but it was growing stronger with each day. I started to look through some of the books I had to see if I was starting to suffer a sickness or anything like that, but the books had no information at all!" Twilight levitated a napkin to her face, wiping herself. "When I went to Canterlot and talked with Celestia about you and this strange aura, she explained everything to me. I didn't believe her at first, but then she started to show me things. She showed me something about this strange race, humans. They were two legged, and barely had any fur on them, except for their head. It was very interesting to watch." Twilight was blabbing nonsense when she could just skip to the point. I should interrupt her to speed this up.
"Your point being?" I ask her. She started to get a little irritated at how she didn't get to explain her whole story. She sighed, then looked at me.
"Celestia told me you were a human." Wait, what?! How could a talking pony know about humans when we have never heard of these kind of ponies?! And how did she know I was a human?!
"What?! How could she have known?!" I replied. She looked at me with shock and anger.
"YOU KNEW??!!! AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO TELL ME?! I'M THE SMART ONE, SO I WOULD'VE UNDERSTOOD!" Twilight started to slowly breath in and out after that.
"None of my race even knows about talking ponies! Why would I expect you to believe in something that doesn't know about your kind?!" I screamed, starting to turn red.Twilight prepares to make her horn glow, looking as if she is going to zap me or something like that. I breath in and out like she did earlier.
"Look, I don't even know how this happened. One moment, I'm a human, the next, I became the male version of Daring Do." I smack the table in frustration. I started to sigh, then opened my mouth to explain more to Twilight.
"Over the last few days, I've been having dreams of being a human again. Random things in public would bring me memories of when I was a human. And most of the time I've been here, I have been thinking about the topic of topic of whether or not I could return home." I start to sit down on the floor, finding that sitting was more comfortable.
"Honestly, I don't think I'll have a single chance to get back home." I start to look down, feeling depressed.
"I guess it would be better for me to just make the best of what I've got here instead of worrying about getting back to a place I could never return to. I'm sorry for all the crap I put everyone through." I immediately just grab a book and start reading, not looking at Twilight.
"I'm sorry for disturbing you, Trent. I didn't think someone like you would be holding in something as big as that. I'll leave you alone if you want me to." Twilight starts walking away from me, and I continue to read whatever the hell I pick up.
***
The day somehow quickly dispersed, and went to night in what felt like a matter of moments. After what had happened, I only talked with Twilight to give my portion of the money she was going to spend on groceries. I went to sleep earlier than usual today. Would it actually be possible for me to get home? I mean, it's possible for ponies to use teleportation, levitation, attack spells, age spells, and many more here, so why should I truly give up on that slight chance that I might be able to return home? I immediately fall asleep, having yet another dream about being a human again.
***
I was at school, running away from everyone, feeling as if I had been shunned by all of my peers. Everyone was making fun of me, from the children to the adults to even my old friends. There wasn't any explanation to what I did,so I was majorly confused. As I ran through the hallway, I could hear millions of insults being hurled my way.
"Faggot!"
"Loser!"
"No Life"
"Freak!"
It was all too much, having literally everyone turn against me. In the middle of the insults came a blue fog that blew over everything. Out of the fog came the same blue pony from yesterday. She was the same color, and had the same wings and horn like before. She started to approach me yet again.
"Your name is Trent. Am I correct?" I nodded in response. How did she know what my name was.
"I do not believe we have made proper introductions the last time we have talked. I am Luna, Princess of the night. It is my duty to make sure the ponies of Equestria can rest easily and with peace. That is why I am visiting you in your dreams. To help the ones who look like they might need my assistance. I also have the duty of raising the moon when the day is over." Luna starts to slowly walk around me.
"My dear sister, Celestia, has told me about you after Twilight came to Canterlot. It seems you really are who you say you are. I believe I should give an apology for doubting the truth." Luna starts looking down at me.
"Tell me, how did you become to be a pony if you were originally a human?" Luna asked. And that's where the problems occur.
"That's just it. I don't know how this happened. One moment, I'm a human, then the next moment, I become the male version of Daring Do." I told her. She starts to put her hoof to her chin. How is she still standing straight?
"Interesting. I do not believe this has ever happened before. There was an occasion when a human has arrived here, though he came as a human, and not a pony." Luna said, walking around me.
"There was another human here? But how? Where?" I protested her. If there is a human here, I wanna meet him, see how he went through all of this.
"He is gone. He was very destructive and caused a lot of chaos in Ponyville. My sister erased everypony's memories of him. Nopony has ever brought up the topic of humans ever since. Well, except for that Lyra pony who is obsessed with them, though she has not yet done anything that would cause harm, so it seems OK to not worry about her." Luna looks back to me.
"If there was another human in this world, does that mean it would be possible to send me back? There must be a way if the previous human was able to leave." I said. Luna put her head down after hearing that.
"Sadly, a way back to Earth is unknown to anypony here in Equestria. I do not even know how the last one disappeared. He just vanished out of thin air, as if he was hit by a teleportation spell." Luna starts to hold her hoof to her ear.
"I hear a disturbance in the night. I must go and help the other ponies in need of me, just like before. I am sorry that I could not help, Trent." Just like before, she vanishes into thin air. She said that the last human was able to get out of this world. Does that mean the same could happen to me? Another dream of bleak darkness occurs tonight.
