MIB: Mares in Black

by Blazing Shadows

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 9797

Agents J and K find themselves in the world of Equestria and are forced to make the Mane Six temporary MIB agents in order to track down an insane alien scientist bent on destroying both of their worlds.

Takes place before MIB III. Agents J and K have seen a lot of crazy stuff in their 13 years of partnership. But none of that even comes close to their next case....saving Equestria. When a maniacal extraterrestrial known as "Mad Max" travels to the world of ponies in order to fuse their dimension with ours, causing the destruction of both, the agents must team up with the Elements of Harmony to stop him. Even if it means making them temporary agents...

Published 2013-02-15 08:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-28 15:50:56 UTC

The Road to Equestria

MIB: MARES IN BLACK

Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story takes place two years before MIB III and during MLP: FIM Season 1....Also, I'm very excited about Season 4. :3

It was a wonderful day in Manhatten. The sun was out, yet the temperature was cool. The traffic was backed up, yet nobody was honking at the person in front of them. The people were enjoying the day,...yet a battle between man and extraterrestrial being was going on in Central Park. Yep, just another wonderful day in Manhatten.

"K!" yelled a finely-dressed black man wearing shades as he ran through the park, aiming a mysterious and odd-looking weapon at the trees.

"What is it now, slick?" answered a finely-dressed elderly man also wearing shades as he slowly jogged over to the black man.

"Where is the slimy bastard? The agency told us he was here and I haven't even seen the damn thing yet!"

"You've still got a lot to learn, cowboy. Didn't you read the file on Quizengites that the agency assigned you to read?"

"Um...I-I was getting to that today...right before we got the call....Better late than never, right?"

Agent J chuckled, trying to get a smile or even a small laugh out of the elderly Agent K. Unfortunately, though, just like all the other times, his only response was a stern glare.

"...Fine! Alright! You got me! Just because I know it's what you wanna here, I'll admit that I put that on the very bottom of my list of things to do before I retire or die!"

"That's what I thought you said."

That earned a smile from K, but only because of the point proven by him. K had his own sense of humor. One of the main few things that ever got him to smile was when he proved himself right over someone....or when he got some alone time with Agent O.

"So," continued K, "As was listed in the Quizengite file that you didn't read, Quizengites are masters of disguise. Their molecules are able to change and expand in any possible way, thus allowing them to change into any form they wish."

"Okay...So, what? I'm supposed to just start looking for something out of place in Central Park?"

"That's the plan."

"K, I don't know how much you get out, probably not a lot judging by all those wrinkles you got going on, but New York is full of things that look out of place. Fashions, items, people...I could name a whole damn list!"

"Is it longer than that list of things to do before you die or retire?"

"Oh, now you're gonna make jokes? Ha ha."

"I'll check this half and you check the other."

With that, K turned left and walked past his partner, expecting him to carry out the task assigned to him.

"Ugh...Fine. But this is gonna be damn near impossible."

J searched the right side of Central Park all over. He knocked on trees, he crawled around on the ground, he approached several people, one woman responding by slapping him across the face, and did everything else he could think of to pull the alien from his hiding place. So far, though, the only thing that looked out of place was an elderly woman throwing birdseed on the ground when there were no birds anywhere around.

"Man, this is bullshit, K! I've been here for like an hour trying to find this guy! I'm telling you, man. I don't see why we have to..."

J fell silent as he spotted something that he believed could end the search...and possibly get him a "well done" from his partner. A lone child was walking through the park, unattended, holding a balloon, wearing a big smile on her face as if nothing were wrong.

"An unaccompanied minor, huh?" Agent J whispered to himself as a grin spread across his face. "Well, we'll just see about that then, won't we, J?....And I have got to stop talking to myself..."

J approached the girl with caution, as he knew, without reading the file, that Quizengites were among the most hostile aliens in the galaxy. He made sure that his ray gun was cocked and ready to fire if anything were to go wrong. Finally approaching the "girl", he put on the best non-cautious smile he could manage and finally broke the silence.

"Hi there, little girl. What's your name?"

The little brown-haired girl looked up at him with innocent baby-blue eyes, not losing the smile she had.

"Hi, mister. My name's Patty."

"Patty! Why, that's such a pretty name! Do you, um, live around here, Patty?"

"Oh, no. I live far away from here and I'm gonna be late for dinner. I'd love to stay and chat but my mommy and daddy will be worried sick if I don't show up on time."

"Oh, I'll bet they will be," Agent J replied as he slowly started to lose the smile. "Well, you wouldn't mind, before you go, if I took your picture, would you? I'm a photographer."

"What's a photographer?"

"....Why, a person that takes people's pictures, Patty."

"Oh, I love gettting my picture took!"

"You do! Well, then, let me just get my camera and I'll take one of you."

J's "camera" was actually a scanner that would track an alien's DNA from five miles away. He was almost completely sure that she was the hiding alien, but, as Rule 15 of the MBI Handbook stated, "you have to be absolutely sure." J slowly reached his hand into his front pocket to retrieve the device.

"So, um, Patty,...what do your mommy and daddy look like?"

"Uh, mister, why do you wanna know what my parents look like?"

"Parents? Well, that's a mighty big word for mommy and daddy, isn't it, Patty?"

J's hand clamped firmly around the device. However, right as he was about to pull it out, he suddenly felt a pain come across the back of his head. Before he knew it, he was lying on the damp grass on his stomach. He rolled over onto his back, groaning and rubbing his head. A middle-aged woman's face came into view, blocking the sun.

"AH!...What the he-?"

Before he could finish, the woman slammed her foot down onto his "special area." All he could utter was a squeak as the breath was knocked out of him.

"Pervert! Trying to seduce a little girl like that! Let's go, dear. We're calling the police on this sicko!"

With that, the woman took the little girl's hand and dragged her away, leaving J rolling around on the ground, trying to ease the pain.

"Looks like she wasn't the Quizengite," replied an elderly voice from behind.

"K,...j-just leave me alone right now...Cause I seriously think I'm gonna vomit!"

"It's neither the place or the time for that. The agency just called. They want us back at Headquarters now."

"B-But what about the alien?!"

"There never was one."

The silence in the air could be cut with a knife as Agent J lay silent on the grass.

"Come on, Ace. Get up. I'm driving."

K walked back to the car, leaving J, still lying on the grass, not uttering a word. After a little bit, he got up, wiped the grass off his black suit, and started walking toward the car. He still wasn't saying anything when he opened the door, or when he slammed it. In fact, the whole car ride was completely silent, except for the cowboy music K had playing on the radio. When they arrived at Headquarters, K turned the music off and opened the door to get out, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"K?"

"Yeah, slick?"

"....WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THERE WAS NO ALIEN?!!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"The hell do you mean "what do you mean by that?!" What kind of a damn question is that?!"

"Look, let's just go inside and see what Zed wants. Then we can drive around all day talking about what kind of a damn question it was. That sound good?"

J wanted to yell something else at K, but just sighed, knowing it was no good arguing with him. He always lost every argument, so what was gonna be different this time? He opened the door, joining his partner in closing his, and walked inside MIB Headquarters. Both walked past the silent black man sitting in the chair against the wall, in front of the large fan, reading the newspaper.

"How's it hanging, man?" asked J.

"Oh, the usual. Garfield kicking Odie."

"Yeah, good to know."

The two senior agents entered the elevator at the end of the hall and waited patiently as it descended underground. It was a while before either of them said anything.

"I'm still pissed at you for fooling me like that."

"I didn't fool you. We were assigned to go after a Quizengite. We did...Just without a Quizengite."

"That doesn't matter, K. Anyone in the whole damn agency could've gone on this wild goose chase and Zed had to pick me to tag along with you to-"

"SURPRISE!"

Agent J jumped back, slamming into the elevator wall behind him. He had not heard the elevator doors opening. He also didn't notice the large crowd gathered outside the elevator, with a sign reading "Happy Birthday" hanging overhead. In the front of the crowd was Zed, the leader of the agency, holding a large cake with a J written in blue icing on the front.

"Well, I chose you because everyone else was busy setting up your suprise party for you." Zed replied as a smile spread across his face.

J turned to his partner, whose face still remained neutral, expecing him to add on to what Zed just told him. However, he remainded silent as he stepped out of the elevator.

"So...the old man does have a soft spot for his partner."

"I'm just gonna ruin your day by telling you I only did what I was told, which was stalling you."

The elder agent remained quiet, tricking J into thinking he was serious, until a small but gentle smile appeared on his face.

"Happy birthday, slick."

"Thanks, K. And thank you everyone else! This is so...unexpected."

"Well, what do you expect?" replied Zed, setting the cake down on the table as he spoke. "We don't do this for every agent."

"Really?"

"Well, we do, since it's required by the laws established by our founder, but I wasn't gonna tell you that until you got a little older."

"Thanks, K. That's just the type of attitude a man needs on his special day."

"Happy to help."

K walked over to Zed and began talking to him. The crowd may have been distracted by the cake that was now available for eating, but J could hear them loud and clearly.

"So, Zed,..do you have the files on the, um,...special case?"

"Oh...O-Of course, K. Just come with me."

With that, Zed left with K to head towards the back. Now, normally, J wouldn't have been the least bit curious about anything the elder men had to talk about. But, when K's voice went into a whisper, which usually meant something important, and Zed started stuttering, which he hardly ever did, J knew something big was going down...and he wasn't even allowed to hear about it.

"Um, alright, everyone. I'm really thankful for this big birthday thing y'all got set up, but, um, I gotta...attend to something in the back."

"You gotta take a piss, J?" asked one of the Worm Guys.

"....Yes. Yes, that's exactly what I have to do. Thank you...for verifying that."

With that, the agent stormed to the back, eager to see what the two old men were up to. He knew they would be in the conference room, which is where they always went when they had to discuss something important...Usually, though, J would join them.

"Listen, K, I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. You know first-hand that he's one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds you've ever faced."

"I know, Zed. But I have to do this. If we let him cross over into another dimension, who knows what he's gonna do? The guy's already tried to take over this dimension, and, since we wouldn't let him, he wants to try another one!"

J pulled away from the door for a moment as he thought about what he had just heard.

"Who are they talking about? Whoever he or she is, they sound dangerous...And K didn't even tell me! I mean, the guy tried to take over this dimension! Wait...dimesion? There are no such things as dimensions...right? Pfft...Next thing I know, he'll be telling me time travel exists. I mean, seriously-"

Before he could think any more about it, the door opened, surprising him and causing him to stumble back onto the floor. The two elders stared him down with grim expressions.

"...I-I wasn't listening in on you two. I was, uh,...looking for my contacts!......Found 'em!"

He held up his hands, pinching two fingers on each hand together like he was holding something.

"I'd better go wash 'em off. You know, if I didn't, I might get those nasty-ass parasites. You know the ones, right? You've seen Monsters Inside Me, right?..."

The two agents didn't change their expressions at all as they continued to stare him down. Agent J merely sighed in defeat.

"...Okay, you got me. I wanted to see what was so important that you had to keep it from K's partner for 13 years."

"It's something he didn't want you to find out about," replied Zed. "Plain and simple."

"Plain and simple, my ass! Now, look, K, I've never left you out of anything I've ever been assigned to. Wether it was clearing a cornfield of a bunch of crop circles or birthing a Zarquiznac baby, which ain't no walk in the park, let me tell you...But, beside the point, I've always told you everything!...Why dont' you do the same?"

K was silent for a few moments, continuing to stare at his partner, as if pondering his next move. Finally, he sighed silently and spoke up.

"Zed...Would you please hand J the file?"

"Oh, um...Sure K."

J was surprised to hear his partner call him by his agency name. He was even more suprised to have him give in to something he asked for. As mentioned earlier, he never won arguments against his partner. Zed seemed uneasy as he pulled the file out of the satchel he was carrying and handed it to him.

"Slick," spoke K, "Before you open it, a word of warning: Not one thing this guy's got on his mind, no matter how great, is good in any way."

J nodded silently as he opened the file. It had been stamped at the top with a TOP SECRET stamp. J lowered his eyes down the paper as he read silently to himself.

"On March 19, 2009, Maxmillzon III, or "Mad Max," the galaxy's self-proclaimed "mad scientist," was searched for posession of nuclear weaponry in his laboratory in downtown Manhatten. The lab was found clean of any types of weapons. However, on November 21, 2009, he was arrested after causing several large earthquakes in central Manhatten. He later confessed the cause of them to be from experimenting with multi-dimensional transport, which would allow him to travel to different dimensions with ease. His equipment was confiscated as evidence and his laboratory was shut down. However, several months later, he escaped his maximum-security cell on the moon and returned to Earth, swearing vengeance on the Men in Black, as shown from security footage from the prison's security cameras. It was determined that he escaped by teleporting out of his bonds and outside of his cell using equipment that he had built into his nerve cells. He has not been sighted since and his case remains open to this day."

"Damn...This guy's nuts! I know for a fact that putting teleportation equipment inside your body ain't easy!...Wait...Where the hell was I at when all this shit happened?!"

"Don't you remember?" spoke K, as if he had read the agent's mind. "That was when you were sent to that training facility in Taiwan."

"Oh yeah...Those were the worst four weeks of my life, by the way."

"Anyways, back to the matter at hand, Max was and is notorious for coming up with plans off the top of his head, so it didn't surprise us in the slightest when he made a big jump from nuclear weapons to multi-dimensional experimentation?

"But what about the nuclear weapons? Did he really have any?"

"Oh, he did," answered Zed, "He just had them hid really well. So, we couldn't convict him...But, that was only his first little slip-up. Since he knew we were keeping a close eye on him, he knew that his plan to hold our universe hostage wasn't gonna work. So, instead, he decided to try another dimension. One without the Men in Black..."

"And I know damn well he finished the technology to do so," spoke Agent K. "Nobody was suprised when they found out about the nuclear weapons...But we were a little shocked when we found that he had endured the pain of transplanting teleportation units inside his nerve cells. That shows the dedication he has on this plan of his...and how badly he wants to see our world pay....And that's why I'm going after him."

"Wait, K!" interrupted J. "Why now?"

"He was sighted downtown by one of our agents just yesterday. He hasn't shown himself in a year, so he must be up to something."

"Well, why did you choose today to do it? Why not yesterday?"

"We weren't for sure it was him. We had to scan the photos the agent took to make sure. Remember Rule 15? You have to-"

"-be absolutely sure. Yeah, yeah, I know...Damn rule got me stomped in the balls."

"But, anyhow, I'm going. That's that."

K started to walk away, but J stepped in front of him to block his path.

"Look, K. If you wanna go hunt down some cuckoo scientist alien, that's fine with me. But, when the whole universe-"

"Dimension."

"Right. When the whole dimension,...my dimension, is in trouble, I'm gonna do what I can to help save it! I'm going with you. And that's that!"

K was once again silent as he seemed to pondering the situation in his head while keeping perhaps the best poker face ever achieved by any human. Finally, he responded.

"Alright...But, I'm driving."

As the two agents drove towards their destination, Mad Max's lab, Agent K was filling Agent J in on any details he or Zed might not have mentioned.

"K, I'm still not getting something. Where did Max exactly come from? And why does he suddenly decide to take over a whole universe?"

"Take over a whole dimension."

"Ugh...It's gonna take me a while to get used to that...But, yes, that's what I'm asking!"

"Well, he wasn't always bad. In fact, MIB gave him his passport and welcomed him to Earth. His planet had been taken over by one of the neighboring bands of space pirates and-"

"Woah, hold up. Space pirates?"

"You really need to read up on your files."

"Again with the damn files! K, I....Never mind. Continue."

"Anyways, he wanted to start over in life and he figured Earth was the best place to do it, since it was rated the best planet in the galaxy to get a job."

"Pfft...That I find hard to believe..."

"But he had an overpowering interest for science and warfare. I think he took it after his father, Maxmillzon II, who took it after his father, Maxmillzon-"

"Okay, I get it!"

"Anywho, it became such an obsession with him that he began buying Earth parts to build defense weaponry. He didn't want his new home to be taken like his old one, so he decided to build these weapons and one day give them to our planet's defense forces to use if needed."

"So...he wanted to help protect the Earth?"

"Yep...Until he found out that Earth already has something no other planet in this galaxy has...Nuclear warfare."

"And why don't any of the other planets have them?"

"Hell if I know. But, soon, after learning that, he shunned all of his ideas and began stealing nuclear weaponry to improve their designs. We weren't gonna let the government get involved with this, so we stepped in. When we tried to talk him out of it peacefully, he took it as us, the very people who welcomed him to his new home, turning against him. He hid the weapons, as you read earlier, so we couldn't make an arrest. We left...But, even then, we still struck fear into him. He knew we would be there to bust him if ever made one slip-up. So, he decided to save the nuclear weapons for another time...Another dimension. And he decided that, since everyone seemed to be against him, he would use the weapons as warfare to threaten said dimension to transform it into an ideal dimension...One that would accept his ideas...And the rest, as you know, is history."

"Not really, considering how he escaped and is now planning to take over a whole...dimension."

"See, that wasn't so hard."

"So...how do you cross over to other dimensions?"

"It isn't easy. You have to make a portal strong enough to sustain a being traveling through it. One wrong move and you could be stuck traveling between dimensions forever."

"Do you think he's gonna bring the weapons through the portal with him?"

"Well, that is a large part of his plan. He can't exactly threaten a dimension without having something to back up the threat....Any more questions?"

"No. I think I'm fine."

"So, you understand the whole dimension concept?"

"Ye-....Does it cover every single universe in space?"

"Yep...And the universes between the spaces, too."

"And the ones between those spaces?"

"It's a good thing to see that you're learning."

"You know, if you'd have told me all this when I was a simple New York cop, my brain probably would've exploded."

"It might have just now. Just wait about two minutes. If you're still conscious, we'll know it didn't."

"...Thanks, K. That put a real good visual in my head. Now, while you're driving, I'm gonna rethink my life and plan out my death."

"No time for that, slick. We're here."

J looked up at the building K had just droven up to. It looked like a simple two-story warehouse, stuck between an apartment complex and a parking garage.

"This is his lab? Damn, that dude really needs some income."

"Why do you think he resorted to stealing? He used up all the money he had brought with him to buy the parts, so he decided stealing was the only way to keep himself out of debt."

"But I thought he was smart with science and weapons? Couldn't he have gotten a job with the government or something?"

"I forgot to mention that he has very poor social skills. And, even though he's a scientist,...he isn't that bright."

The agents got out of the car, cocking their guns as they slowly approached the front door.

"Alright, slick. Here's the plan. When I count to three, I kick the door in and we find the target and lock on...And, if necessary, shoot to kill."

"Gotcha."

"One..."

J's fingers tensed on the trigger as he readied himself for battle.

"Two..."

Sweat poured down his head as he prepared himself for what might be the biggest fight of his life.

"Three!"

K kicked the door open and burst into the warehouse, J following in behind him.

"Hello, K. Who's your friend?"

J and K came in to find a tall, slim, trembling man with very thick glasses, causing his eyes to appear much larger than any normal human being's. His hair was white and frizzed, appearing as though he had been shocked with static electricity. His face was very pale, almost as white as his hair, but his hands remained a dark tan color. As if that weren't enough, he wore a lab coat that was...white.

"Man, you are the definition of white!" Agent J chuckled as he observed the scientist's appearance.

Agent K glared at him for his humorous outlook at the situation.

"Not the person, K. The color...I'm not that type of black man."

K returned his gaze to Mad Max, keeping his gun aimed dead center on his forehead.

"Mad Max. We meet again."

"And what a pleasure it is to have you in my humble abode once again, Agent K. But, I must ask... what it is this time that you want from me? To criticize me for my work? To say that it was crazy to jump from simple teleportation to mult-dimensional transport? I had to, K. You can't do the second without the first. It's a process!

"Put your hands in the air where I can see them, Max."

"Fine...But, if I put my hands in the air, how will I be able to put in the combination to unlock the case on the table that contains the shrunken-down versions of my nuclear warfare?"

"Fine...But, if you even breathe out of line, just know that I'll shoot you where you stand."

The crazed scientist walked over to the table, K and J's guns following him with every step, and began to put in the combination."

"It's very sad, isn't it, K?"

"What? How much you've changed, Max?"

"No...The fact that you can't tell the difference between my latest creation and a simple briefcase padlock...."

"Wait...What are you-"

Before either of the agents could respond, Max pushed an unnoticed button on top of the padlock. Putting in the combination was all it took to unlock the device: the multi-dimensional transporter...cleverly disguised as a padlock. In a split second, the object shot out a bright blue beam at the agents, causing them to fall back on the floor in surprise. K had never noticed the briefcase was turned in their direction. However, the beam was not to harm, but to create the portal needed to jump dimensions. Before their eyes, a giant blue vortex was now hovering in the air, projected by the device. It was in the shape of a large rectangle, almost like a doorway. Max grabbed briefcase, a crazed smile on his face, and approached the vortex.

"I'd like to say, "See you two later." But, where I'm going,...I won't ever see you two again."

Max took humor in this as he burst out laughing, which sounded like a wheezing man with a sinus problem. Before the two agents could raise their guns, he had already stepped through the portal.

"Damn it, K! We almost had him!"

"No, slick...We've almost got him."

Saying that, K pulled himself and his partner off the floor with surprising strength and hurried to the vortex, which was slowly closing. It had started out as the size of a refridgerator, but was now about the size of a picture frame. K pulled a carrot from his pocket and threw it into the portal. To J's surprise, the portal stopped shrinking.

"How the hell did you do that?!"

"No time for questions, slick. I'll go first."

Before J could ask what he meant, his partner ducked down and crawled into the portal. He disappeared with a bright flash of light.

"Aw, damn it, K! Why couldn't we just have shot the man when we came in?....And how the hell did that carrot help stop the portal?!"

Right as J said that, the portal started shaking, as if it was straining to stay open. It was as if the universe was telling J to get his ass in there right then.

"Ugh, fine. But, if we make it back, I'm staying out of K's business he had in the past!"

With that, J cautiously but quickly approached the portal. He copied K's actions by bending down and crawling inside. Before he knew it, he felt as though his body was being pulled at the speed of light. In less than a second, J was gone in another bright flash of light, the portal closing behind him.

End of Chapter 1!

Author's Note: Be sure to give me your approving/disapproving comments. Message me if you think I should change something. Also, do not expect quick updates. It will probably take me at least 3 days to do so. Maybe even a week at times. But, then again, you could always favorite it, so you'd always keep an eye on when the next update arrives. :3 See you next chapter!

Town Welcomes

MIB: MARES IN BLACK

Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you for all the likes, comments, and views everypony! Be warned of two things, though! One: Not all chapters are as good as the others. Two: My update schedule will not be on a schedule...In other words, my update times will vary. I got a research paper to do and a house to help remodel, so I may not have as much time as I want. Well, that's all for now. Enjoy the chapter!

The last thing J could remember was being pulled at the speed of light through a blinding tunnel of swirling mass, unable to move on his own will. He simply let the vortex do its job of taking him to whatever dimension K and Mad Max had been taken to. In slightly under five seconds, J was spit out of the vortex onto a grassy meadow. However, the landing wasn't as soft as he had expected it to be. Traveling faster than the speed of light only moments before didn't give him much time to slow down completely. He slammed into the meadow, pushing up some earth on the way. Rubbing his head and sides, unable to move for the first couple of minutes after impact, he finally mustered the strength to push himself up. By that time, he was already dizzy, nauseous, and aching all over.

"Damn!...And I thought getting kicked in the balls hurt like hell!"

J looked around, trying to take in his surroundings, but found his vision to still be a bit distorted. So, he began walking around, trying to get the feeling back in his legs. After a few moments, and a few stumbles and falls, he managed to clear his vision.

"Ugh....Wh-...What the hell?!"

It was as if he had stepped into a cartoon. The meadow he had plowed into was a shade of green that no worldy color could pull off. The flowers' colors were unlike anything he had ever seen. Even the bees that buzzed around them seemed out of place.

"Where in the hell are we?!"

"I don't know, slick," replied an all-too-familiar voice, "But it looks like we've already adapted to it."

J turned around to question his partner, but jumped back in shock upon seeing him.

"K-K! You're a cartoon!"

"So are you."

J looked down at his hands, hoping that his partner was pulling his leg. But, just like him, he had, indeed, been transformed into an animated version of himself. And, even though he was wearing a black suit, the colors still seemed too bright for him.

"Oh man...I look ridiculous, K!"

"No time to worry about your looks. We gotta find Mad Max."

J glanced around the meadow as if Max was going to show himself to them. The truth in the matter was that he didn't want to explore the cartoon world and wanted to find Max and get back home as easily and quickly as possible...Unfortunately, though, it was not going to be that simple.

"MAX! Where you at, man?! Just turn yourself in and I promise we won't hurt you!"

"Slick, let me tell you two things. One: I give the orders on whether or not we hurt them. Two: I know you wanna get out of here but we're gonna have to go find him, and you know it."

The younger agent sighed in defeat, once again fighting a battle he couldn't win. Having lost the argument, he turned to the senior agent with a willing face.

"Okay...But how do we even know where to start."

"Well, he wants to hold this dimension hostage. So, he'll want to get rid of the highest power around here...The ruler."

"And how will we know who that is?"

"We'll have to find out."

"How?"

"Find the nearest town...and ask somebody."

"Pinkie Pie, what's going on?"

"My Pinkie senses are telling me that I'm going to be throwing a party soon, because somepony new is arriving!"

"Really? But I didn't see your body move."

"Silly Twilight. Not all of my Pinkie senses involve moving my body."

"Really? Then what just happened?"

"My heart rate just dropped and my vision just blurred at the same time!"

"What?! Pinkie, that's dangerous!"

"No, it isn't. I trust my Pinkie senses completely. They would never put me in-"

The pink mare known as Pinkie Pie fell to the ground, making a squeak-like noise as she fainted. The violet unicorn known as Twilight Sparkle thought about calling the hospital, but, instead, returned to her book, knowing the pink mare to have recovered from much worser incidents than this, most all of them sugar-related...Still, Twilight was interested as to who exactly was arriving in Ponyville....However, she wasn't gonna have to wait long to find out...

"These buildings are even brighter than the damn flowers, K!"

"Slick, watch your language. For all we know, swearing could be outlawed in this dimension and punished by immediate exectution."

"What?”

“It could happen...”

“Only on The Hub!” yelled Pinkie Pie, who awoke from her slumber upon hearing the words.

“Pinkie Pie!” exclaimed Twilight Sparkle as she grabbed the pink mare and drug her under the table with her.

“K, did you hear something?”

“No, why?”

“Because I don’t think we’re alone in this town....”

“Isn’t that the whole point? I mean, we are here to ask around about the ruler of this land.”

“Can you just let me have my hero moments, K?”

“Do I ever let you have any moments whatsoever?”

“Stop answering everything I say with a question!”

“Why?”

“Because...GAH! You know what?! Let’s split up! I’ll take the left side of town and you take the right! That sound okay?!”

“Whatever you say, birthday boy.”

Twilight clamped one hoof over Pinkie Pie’s mouth and held on to her body with the other, knowing the word “birthday” would trigger her party senses, causing her to jump out of her hiding place and start talking about the party she’d plan on throwing.

“Pinkie Pie,” Twilight whispered, “If I let go of you, do you promise to stay down here with me and not approach the aliens?”

The pink mare nodded and crossed her heart with her hoof, followed by flapping her arms and sticking her hoof up to her eye, signaling a Pinkie Promise. Twilight knew she was serious by this, so she let go of her and continued monitoring the “visitors.”

“What do you think those things are, Twilight?”

“I don’t know...But they mentioned wanting to find out about our ruler...Oh no. What if they’re after the Princess?!”

“If they are, we gotta warn her!”

“Alright, when I say “Go,” we’ll make a run for the library. One-”

“Wait, wait! Can we do it on three?”

“Wh-What difference does it make?!”

“I like three. It rhymes with a lot of words. Me, be, we, key, pea, body-”

Twilight responded by clamping her hoof over the hyperactive mare’s mouth again, this time with annoyance clearly showing in her eyes.

“Pinkie, there are a lot of words that rhyme with go, too! So, either way, it doesn’t matter!”

Twilight looked back to see if the aliens had gone. When seeing that the coast was clear, she turned back to Pinkie, withdrawing her hoof in the process, and gave the signal.

“Go!”

The two mares dashed out from under the table with speeds that would’ve made Rainbow Dash proud. They reached the library without being spotted by anypony and quickly made their way inside.

“SPIKE! Come down here quick!”

A purple-and-green baby dragon waddled downstairs, eager to hear what his caretaker had to tell him.

“Take a note, Spike. This could be the most important letter we’ve ever written.”

“Sure thing, Twilight.”

“Dearest Princess Celestia, I am writing to report that I have discovered two strange creatures in Ponyville. They stand on two legs, wear black suits and sunglasses, and are able to speak in our language. One appears to be far younger than the other. Whether or not they are related is unknown. They spoke of wanting to find you, talking as if it were urgent. I do not wish to invoke fear in you, but I write this letter to you as a warning that you be careful and keep a sharp eye out for them. I will write to you again when I gather more information. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

The baby dragon rolled up the letter and breathed fire on it, causing it to evaporate and fly out the window.

“It’s on its way!”

“Good. Now, Pinkie Pie, we have to go back out there and warn the other townsponies about these creatures. They could be dangerous.”

“But, Twilight, didn’t they say that they were just wanting to ask around?”

“Yes! About where the Princess is! Don’t you see? When they find out where the Princess is, they’ll go after her! We don’t want that to happen!”

“Twilight,” interrupted Spike, “You sound like you’re taking this a bit too far. I mean, did they even say they were gonna harm the Princess?”

“Well...no...But I’m not gonna take that chance, Spike! She’s my mentor and it’s my duty to make sure she stays safe!”

As if the heavens were sending instructions to tell her what to do next, Spike burped up a letter, which he then read out loud.

“My Dearest Twilight, I am unable to write you back at the moment. I am probably attending to some royal duties. Please be patient and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Yours truly, Princess Celestia.”

“Wh...WHAT?! What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“It must be her answering service when she’s not around!”

“But she’s never done that!...Something’s not right...”

Portals have a funny way of doing things...Just because it sends more than one being or object to the same dimension,...that doesn’t mean they will necessarily end up in the same location.

“Thank you for writing what I told you to write, Princess. It would’ve been a shame if I’d have had to kill you....You’re such a beautiful creature.”

“Spare me your compliments, Mr...?”

“Max...Mad Max, actually. I never could get into the whole “Mr.” thing.”

“Well, now that you’ve killed all of my guards and have me at gunpoint, what do you plan on doing next?”

“Beginning Phase Three of my master plan, of course!”

“Which is?”

“Ugh, I don’t wanna explain it again! Especially not to a woman!...Er, mare!”

“If you’re gonna insult me, at least look her in the eyes when you do so.”

“I can do whatever I want to, thank you very much!”

“Well, if that’s the case, you could’ve written the letter yourself.”

“You’re right, I...OH, SHUT UP! I’m getting headaches from all of this!”

"All of what?"

"All of this nonsense! First, I have to explain my plan to K and his partner. Then, I have to come here, kill some ponies, and hold a pony princess at gunpoint. But, I can't seem to keep my cool because she won't SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

“...Never thought you’d be saying any sentences like those, did you?”

“...You know, if I didn’t need you, I would’ve killed you already.”

“Why do you need me, exactly?”

“BECAUSE, my dear, I have read up on your world in my lab back in my dimension!”

“You mean by watching the cartoon, chatting with bronies, and reading Wikipedia.”

“I....How the hell did you know about all that?!”

“Hey, just because I’m a cartoon pony doesn’t mean I don’t know what goes on in other dimensions.”

“Do the other ponies here know?”

“Nope. Just me and my sister.”

“B-But who tells you about all this?!”

“I think you might know her...Lauren Faust?”

“So she is a goddess.....Oh, look at me! I’M OFF TOPIC NOW!”

“Do you need any specefic medication?”

“NO!...No, I’m fine...”

“Well, would you mind explaining to me what Phase Three of your plan is?”

“Ah, yes! Phase One was to acquire the nuclear weaponry I needed to hold a dimension hostage and to acquire the means to get to said dimension...”

“Did you not hear me? I just wanted to know about Phase Thr-”

“PHASE TWO...was to travel to said dimension, kill anypony that stood in my way, and get you under my power!....Which brings me to Phase Three...”

“About time...”

“Use you as bait to lure the Elements of Harmony here so they can activate the real Elements of Harmony!”

“To do what exactly?”

“Oh, you’ll see in time, my dear...You’ll all see...”

“Yeah, you really need to learn how to treat a lady...”

“YOU’RE A HORSE! You don’t have the brain and intellect I posess!...”

“I would’ve already used my magic to disarm you if I didn’t believe without a doubt that this plan is gonna fail miserably...”

“What was that?!”

“Nothing...Nothing at all.”

“That’s what I thought...”

“Oh, come on, Twilight! Pretty please with sprinkles and sugar and hot sauce and strawberries and sugar on top!”

“Pinkie, for the last time, no! I’m not letting you throw a couple of aliens that wanna kill Princess Celestia a party!”

“Twilight, you’re being ridiculous! You don’t even know if they wanna hurt the Princess!”

“Rainbow Dash, for once, ignore Pinkie’s senses and listen to my senses...Wait, when did you get here?!”

“I noticed you two walking nervously around town, so I decided to see what was up. I fly down to hear you two talking about throwing aliens a party...Not exactly what I was expecting to hear.”

“Rainbow, like I said, we’re not throwing them a party! We’re gonna negotiate with them and try to get them to leave. If not...”

“What? What are you gonna do?”

“Well,...I’ll fight them!”

This caused the cyan blue pegasus known as Rainbow Dash to fall on the ground in tears, laughing and rolling around on the ground.

“Rainbow, that’s not funny! I’m serious”

“Yeah, Twilight! I’m sure you’ll put up a heck of a fight! HA HA HA HA!”

“Fine...Looks like I’m on my own here.”

With that, Twilight dashed out from behind the corner, leaving the two mares, and slowly approached the younger alien, Agent J, from behind.

“Um...hello?”

The elder being spun around as if expecting her. Its facial expression, however, changed when it saw just who it was that spoke to him.

“What the...K! K, get over here! This place has got talking ponies, man!”

“Um,..yes, I am indeed a talking pony...Why? Does that bother you?”

“Oh, um,...no...No, it’s just...Where I come from,..ponies don’t usually talk...”

“Really? Well, where do you come from?”

“I, uh,..I come from a planet called Earth...And I’m a creature called a human.”

“Oh, is that what you are? I’ve read about those. They’re said to be incredibly skilled, but posess average intelligence.”

“Heh...Yeah, that sounds about right...So, anyways, down to business. Can you tell me just why nobody around here is answering their door?”

“Well,...um,...sir, is it?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure I can prove I’m a male, all right?”

The unicorn blushed at the human’s comment.

“Well, then, um,...and don’t take this the wrong way, but...they’re probably scared of you...”

“Oh, is that all? Well, then, that’s completely understandable.”

Twilight was surprised to hear the elder male’s understanding. However, she remained cautious, still not knowing the alien’s true purpose.

“Well, then, little pony, I’d like to-”

“Excuse me, sir, but I do have a name.”

“Oh...Well, then, I’d be delighted to hear it.”

“Twilight Sparkle.”

“What a nice name. My name is Agent J.”

“Agent?...”

“Yes. I work for a top-secret organization that monitors alien activity on Earth.”

“....Interesting...And how do you spell your name?”

“J?”

“Yeah.”

“J.”

“Oh...Heh...How silly of me...”

“Listen, Twilight, I may be a strange-looking creature to you, but even I have sense enough to know that you’re nervous being near me....Is something bothering you about my presence?”

Twilight’s eye shot open, knowing she had been caught but not expecting him to be so intelligent. However, she then grew slightly irritated at his question, wanting to explain just why she was nervous around him.

“I’m nervous around you because I overheard you talking about our Princess!”

“Huh?....Oh, you mean your ruler’s a princess? Well, ain’t that cute?”

“Cute?...There’s nothing cute about you threatening our leader!”

“What? Okay, first off, we’re not here to threaten nobody! Okay. We’re looking for an intergalactic criminal who wants to take over your...dimension. HA! Got K on that one!....Um, anyways, second, I didn’t choose to come here! If it weren’t for my partner, I would’ve been at home celebrating my birthday!”

At this point, Pinkie Pie couldn’t help herself. She jumped out from behind the building, pulled her famous party cannon seemingly out of thin air, and shot out a blast of confetti.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”

Unfortunately, J hadn’t expected a loud noise like the party cannon. The shock scared him enough to jump back in fright, slip on some wet grass, left from the rain the weather pegasi had granted the town just a few hours before, and fall backwards into a nearby fruit stand, abandoned, of course, because of the ponies’ fear of the new visitors. J fell back into one of the crates and hit his head on the side, getting knocked out cold in the process.

“Well,” said Pinkie Pie, “He sure was surprised...”

End of Chapter 2!

Author’s Other Note: Forgive me if this chapter isn’t as good as the last. I have a habit of typing the first thing that comes to my head. But, hey, if it works, give me your approving comments and likes! If not, give me your disapproving comments and likes! Win, win! See you next chapter!.....P.S. I just became aware of the "Author's Notes" section you can use on the site, but I think I'll just stick with my way for now. See ya!

A Desperate Situation

MIB: MARES IN BLACK

Chapter 3

Author's Note: Sorry for the late update! I've been trying to find time to continue, but I'm currently in the process of writing a (hopefully) kick-ass research paper on the shooting of Robert Kennedy! And now...the next chapter.

"Ugh...M-Mom...What happened?"

"It's alright...You've been asleep for almost nine hours now."

"I...I had this horrible dream where...I went to another dimension...with talking cartoon ponies...that could talk..."

"Well, don't worry. You're safe now...in good old Equestria."

"Wait...Equestria!"

Agent J sat up immediately, glancing around to see six colorful cartoon ponies, some with wings and some with horns, and a small purple-and-green dragon standing around the bed he was in.

"AAAHHH! Oh god, it wasn't a dream!"

"Calm down, slick. You should know from normal kindergarten earth knowledge that ponies don't eat humans."

K's voice was recognizable to J from two miles away: sarcastic and unhappy-like.

"J...Can you please refresh my memory on why the hell we're here again!"

"Slick, what'd I tell you about the swearing?"

"Fine...Why in the heck are we in this creepy-ass place!"

"Um, excuse me, K?" asked Twilight, "If you don't mind me saying so, we ponies aren't exactly dumb on swearing...We just don't normally use it since there doesn't seem to be any need for it."

"Your world is that peaceful?"

"Well, there have been a few times when something evil has come along to threaten us, but, here, in the land of ponies, we believe in the sacred moral of friendship: Anything can be solved with the power of true friends."

"That's very cute. Now, anyways, back to the subject at hand. Agent J, the reason we are here is to find Mad Max before he can do any damage to this dimension."

"Oh yeah...Right."

J got up, slightly embarassed over the yelling and screaming he did just moments ago, and walked over to stand beside K. He had something to ask him.

"So, K," he whispered, "When are we gonna neuralyze them, huh? That pink one over there with the messed-up do is starting to give me the creeps staring at me like that."

"Right after we find out where the ruler of their land is located. Then, once we find that out, we sneak over to the location without being seen by anybody or anything else and protect him or her at all costs until we can apprehend Max."

"Okay, first of all, I overheard the purple one-."

"Twilight Sparkle."

"What?!"

"Her name is Twilight Sparkle."

"....Okay, I overheard Twilight Sparkle say their ruler was a princess."

"Okay, then. Do you have a second thing to say."

"Yes. If you took the time to learn the name of a cartoon pony that we will never see again, why in the heck can't you go out and meet people in the real world?!"

"You mean in our dimension?"

"GAH! Shut up about the damn dimensions!"

"Um, excuse me, J and K?" interrupted Twilight, "I can imagine what you two are talking about is very...important,...but I think what you should be doing is telling us who this intergalactic criminal is that you spoke of earlier?"

"Earlier?!" spoke J, "That was nine hours ago!"

"Hey!" yelled Rainbow Dash, "Just because we're ponies doesn't mean we're dumb!"

"Rainbow Dash," responded Rarity, "Restrain yourself!"

"I'd really hate to interrupt, but, if you'd just tell us where we can find your princess so we can protect her from the intergalactic criminal spoken of earlier, me and my assistant, Agent J, would be happy to tell you more about our interesting lives, mission, and occupation."

"Very well, sirs. You will find our magnificent ruler, Princess Celestia of Equestria, in the Royal Palace in Canterlot."

"Waaaaayyy on top of that big cliff on that big mountain over Ponyville!" added Pinkie Pie.

K pulled out a pair of black sunglasses and put them on, nudging his partner in the side, signaling him to do the same.

"Thank you very much. Now, my assistant-"

"Partner."

"My assistant, Agent J, will tell you everything you need to know via this small little tube-shaped device of wonders. We agents at the MIB Agency have taken the liberty of naming it a "neuralyzer.""

"Damn assistant, my ass...Okay! If all y'all would just look right here..."

He pointed to the red light in the device, getting everypony, along with the dragon, to stare deeply into it, determined to get answers to the purpose and origins of the humans' arrivals. However, this would not be the case. The device would flash a bright red, erasing the memories of the seven beings of the nine-and-a-half hours, which is what J had set it to just moments ago.

"Yep, just look right here..."

BURP!

Just as J was about to flash the device, a trail of flames erupted in a burp from Spike's mouth. A rolled-up parchment floated in front of everybody for a few seconds, finally falling and being caught in the magical aura of Twilight's horn.

"It's a letter from Princess Celestia."

The two agents immediately took off their sunglasses, J putting away the device for the moment.

"Wait," spoke J, "Y-You mean the Princess? The one you mentioned earlier?"

"Yes. She must be sending me a task to complete."

While Twilight began to unroll the parchment with her magic, J took the time to whisper in K's ear.

"I smell Mad Max."

"Really? You must have a strong nose."

"Really K? Sarcasm now?!"

"Look, I feel the same way you're feeling now and I'm just as concerned, all right? But maybe the unicorn-"

"Twilight."

"Right. Maybe the unicorn is right. Maybe it's just a task being sent for her to do. The way she talks about her, she seems to be an apprentice to her of some sort."

"Okay, why is it that I have to say her name and you can mess up whenever you want?"

"Um, guys? Do you wanna hear what the Princess wrote or not?"

"Absolutely, Twilight. Please continue."

"Dear Twilight Sparkle, I am happy to report that your study in the magic of friendship has pleased me very well over the long time we have known each other."

"Wow, that's so nice of the Princess to say!"

"A little too nice if you ask me," said Agent K.

"What do you mean, K?"

"Just keep reading."

"However, I am unhappy to say that your progress is getting too slow for you to really be showing any major improvement."

"Wh-What?!"

At this point, Agent K took the parchment and finished reading it himself, already becoming very suspicious.

"Please report to Canterlot Castle at once...and bring the rest of your friends...and the Elements of Harmony. Yours Truly, Princess Celestia."

"Smells just like a trap, K."

"I know, slick...But this means Mad Max has already gotten to the palace...and is most likely holding the Princess as a hostage."

"Th-That's gotta be it!" shouted Twilight, "Only a princess can sign their name on the bottom of a letter and have it go through! If anypony else tried to do it, the letter would be immediately incinerated."

"So, that means he forced the Princess to write it!" continued Rainbow Dash.

"And is trying to lure us there because...Well,...I actually don't know why."

"Neither do I, slick. But I know it can't be for a hello."

"So..," spoke Fluttershy, who had remained silent the entire time, "...what do we do?"

"Simple." answered K. "J and I will go to the palace and take down Mad Max. You seven will stay here where you'll be safe."

"What?!" shouted Twilight, "No way! We're going with you! If the Princess is in danger, then it's up to us as the Elements of Harmony to protect her!"

"Yeah!"

"Absolutely!"

"Of course!"

"Yes!"

"Right on!"

"NO!"

"B-But why, K?" asked Pinkie Pie, whose eyes suddenly got bigger and mane quickly got flatter. "Why can't we help you?"

"Because we need to do this alone...This is our mission and we wouldn't want you girls to get hurt."

"Oh my," commented Rarity, "What a gentleman you are, K."

As she blushed upon saying this, J snickered silently to himself.

"K a gentleman? Pfft. In an alternate universe, maybe!"

"Well, we are in another dimension. Is that close enough for you?"

"K,...please stop getting the last word in."

"So, anyways, girls, I guess, now that we know where the Princess is, we'll just be on our way."

Saying this, the two agents turned and began their way out the front door of the tree-library. However, they were immediately stopped by a magical purple aura closing the door in front of them.

"No...The Princess is in danger and it's our job to help her out. Sorry K, but we're all coming, too."

"...Excuse me one moment while me and my partner discuss this matter in private."

"Oh, now he calls me his partner."

"Slick?"

"What up?"

The two agents fell into whispered voices, making sure the others in the room couldn't hear them.

"We can't let them come along. It would violate every known MIB policy we have in dealing with the people or aliens that are supposed to be neuralyzed."

"Oh, yeah. Are we gonna neuralyze them?"

"Hell yes! Where the hell in the MIB Handbook did you read that we're not supposed to!"

"...Well,..actually,.."

"...Oh no. Don't even go there."

"Come on, K. I mean, I know that a few hours ago I was commenting on how wierd and messed-up I thought this place was-"

"Actually, you were also doing that a few minutes ago as well."

"...Beside the point. Anyways, those mares obviously care a lot about their princess and don't want to see her get hurt. They've got a lot of guts. I mean, they're risking their lives, going up against a villain they don't even know, to save their ruler. Hell, a lot of people back home wouldn't wipe their nose for any of our political leaders!"

"I don't know, slick. This would go beyond anything we've ever done..."

"Well, in my 13 years of being in MIB, I've seen some pretty messed-up shit. I don't think this is gonna be any worse than what I've already overcome."

Agent K looked back at the six ponies, their faces burning with anticipation as to what they were talking about, and then turned back to face Agent J, a stern but accepting expression on his face.

"Alright, slick...Let's do it."

"Great. And, hey, if this don't work out in the end, I'll take full responsibility for it back at the base."

"J, if things don't work out in the end, we'll probably be dead."

"....Why do you have to ruin everything for me?"

"Alright, girls, we've come to a decision."

The ponies leaned forward to hear what the elder MIB agent had to say.

"We'll let you go with us-"

"YAY!"

"Pinkie, he's not finished talking yet!"

"Oops. Sorry K!...And Rarity..."

"Like I was saying,...we'll let you go with us...on one condition..."

J walked past K, an odd grin on his face.

"You girls are gonna make black look cool."

End of Chapter 3!

Author's Other Note: Now, I know that this chapter may not seem all that great....and it may be a bit short. But, like I said, not all the chapters will be the best...And, like I also said, I am currently busy with a research paper. Don't know when the next update will be, but I promise you it will have more Mad Max and Celestia moments. Thanks for all the favorites...and tune in next chapter for the unveiling of MIB's newest agents....See you then!

P.S. How many of you caught the small movie reference I put in this chapter? Do you know what it is? Tell in a comment if you'd like to help out all those that don't know. Or, if you just want me to tell you because you don't trust anypony else but me, I guess I can reveal it next chapter....See you then! :3

A Dastardly Plan

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