Unboxing a Fluttershy unit
Well, here it is. My very own Fluttershy. God, I've been waiting ages for this. Freaking royal mail. Alright, let's get 'er open. Where'd I put my crowbar?
Strange, I'm sure it was around here somewhe-Ah ha! There it is! Fell off the table. Anyhoo, let's do this.
Hnnnnnnngh *pant* *pant*. Jesus Christ, this is harder than it looks. Oh well, gotta be done. Hnnnnnnnnnnng.
Gah!*pant* *pant* there, it's open. Now I just need to work out how to get her out of the box. Where's that manual I pretended to read earlier?
Here we go. Right, let's see.......Hmmmmmm, all of these sound like a good deal of work. I think I'll go with number five. I mean, how hard can it be to write about tree sex?
Wow. 2. Freaking. Hours spent tweaking a work of erotic tree fiction. I need to get out more. Oh well, may as well put it to good use.*Clears throat* Wow, I wonder who will help me read this story about the romance between two trees. I really don't kno-Oomph! Okay, mental note: a speeding Fluttershy to the gut hurts like a son of a bitch. Oh well, she seems to be enjoying it.
Well, according to the manual, things are going well. She told me her name in a volume loud enough for me to hear it first time. Only downside is that she's taken to writing her own treesex, which is apparently a bad thing. I' not so sure. I mean, everyone needs a hobby, right? What's the worst tha-huh? What's thi-OH, OH MY GOD. PICTURES TOO? JESUS BLOOMIN' CHRIST! UNSEE! UNSEEEE!
Gah. Sorry about that, but that was seriously some fucked up shit. Seriously, who knew you could do all that with a branch? Oh well. Live and learn, I always say.
Hang on a minute, what's this in the manual? "During the mating season for horses, Fluttershy will automatically go into horny mode. In this mode, she forces all pony units, mare and stallion alike, to ride the living daylights out of her." Eh? Seems a bit strange, something as shy as her going uberslut."It is recommended for you to reset her clock programming every time the mating season draws close." Clock programming? How can you program a clock into a pony of all things? What's next, a Rainbow Dash model that can run DOOM? Actually, that wouldn't surprise me, everything can run DOOM these days. Whatever. I think I can deal with a horny pony for this vague time period. How bad can it be?
I had to ask, I had to fucking ask! No, no Fluttershy, that is a wii remote, not a dildo! Get that out of the-erm, what are you doing? Don't look at me like that, you're creeping me out here. No, get your hooves off my trouser-stop that! I won't ask you again! Stop tha-Ah-Aaaah- that-that's-no, this isn't right! this is unnatural! Get-off-my-p-aaaaaaaaaah! *pant* *pant* *pant* Holy shit.. That was......Intense. Okay, I'll let you off this once. But no more sexy business, okay? Good.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-wuh? wass goin' on? Oh. It's you Fluttershy. What are you doing u-Ow! What the bloody hell'd you go and do that fo-Ow! Seriously, that bloody hu-WILL YOU STOP THAT. What have I done to deserve this all of a sudden? What? No! That deer's head belonged to my dead uncle! And that fish isn't even real! You push a button and it sings. You gotta believe me! Wait, what are you doing with that sack?
Where am I? Oh wait, this is my basement. I really need to go down here more often. Never mind. Now, more importantly, why am I here? Wait, what was that? Fluttershy? Is that you? What the bloody hell's going on? Why did you bring me down he-Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! M-My blood! You kicked all this blood out of me! What do you have to say for yourself? Oh really? Well fuck you too! Ha! What are you gonna do about that? Wait, where'd you get that meat cleaver? What are you doing.........eep.
Ah! Phew, tat was a close o-Yah! Will you please stop that, you'll have someone's leg off! namely mine! Gah! Oh that's how you want to play it? Fine then! Ungh! Ungh! Ungh! Take that, you bitch! You li-Oh god. Oh god, she's crying. I can't kill that! But I've got to. Just do it mate, and it'll be all over. Right. Here goes.........
Good god. I never want to have to do that again. The things I've done these past few days, the horrors I've seen in the eyes of something I once thought was innocent. It just goes to show that there's a monster inside all of us. I am bereft, and must therefore perform one last act to finish this ritual............Hello? I'd like to report a faulty model. What's that? I can trade it for a product of equal or lesser value? Sounds interesting............
