The Only Gay Pony
a My Little Pony fanfiction by Clavier
OK, Fluttershy, you can do this.
Fluttershy stood at the door, hoof raised but just short of actually knocking.
She had been very young when she first realized that she didn’t feel about colts the same way as the other fillies did. Worse yet, she had felt odd, tingly feelings for other fillies.
She needs to know. Well… she doesn’t need to know, but you need to get it off your chest.
The door wasn’t getting any closer to her hoof. Part of her hoped it would leap out and knock itself.
As she’d grown, she had hoped that these feelings would subside, and that she would find the stallion of her dreams and live happily—and normally—ever after. But the huggable cuteness of fillies had only been replaced by the lithe beauty of mares, and her unwanted attractions had only grown stronger and harder to ignore.
What’s the worst that could happen? She could get Princess Celestia to banish you from Equestria for being weird, and then you wouldn’t have to worry about this anymore!
Her hoof pulled back slightly.
She’d learned to hide her attraction behind timidity, and do so well. But that was before. Before the wayward crush turned into something much more potent. It was just admiration and affection at first, but now it was more. It was something which she had reluctantly admitted to herself could only be called “love”. Terrible, awful, joyful, glorious, inappropriate, unrequited love.
You’ve come this far. You have to–
“Eek!”
The door did, in fact, leap out to knock itself. Or, more precisely, to knock her to the ground. The world around her spun for a moment, until Twilight’s beautiful—she shook herself, trying to banish the thought—until Twilight’s concerned face came into focus.
“Oh my gosh, Fluttershy, are you alright?!”
Fluttershy smiled sheepishly, rubbing her head. “I’m fine.”
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there! Come in, sit down!” Twilight ushered her unexpected guest into the library and sat her down in a plush, reclining chair. “Did you hurt yourself? Is there a mark?”
As Twilight’s hooves prodded Fluttershy’s head, her body brushed over the pegasus’s, and Fluttershy felt her heart flutter at the touch. She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself down, but caught the mare’s scent instead. By the time Twilight pulled away, she was floating on a cloud. OK, you have to tell her.
“Twilight, I wanted to talk to you about… something.” She shrunk away under her mane. “… I–if you have time, I mean…”
Twilight sat down on a couch at the opposite end of the small room and nodded. “Of course, Fluttershy.”
You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. “I’m in l–”
Twilight’s friendly eyes gazed into her own. She lost her words.
“I’m… I’m…”
“Yes?”
“I have… a crush…”
Twilight got up and trotted over, smiling broadly. “Well that’s great! Who’s the lucky stallion?”
Blushing furiously, Fluttershy retreated back into the safety of her mane, avoiding Twilight’s scrutiny. “Th–that’s the thing… it’s… not exactly a stallion…”
Twilight stopped and tilted her head. “I don’t follow.”
Just say it. You have to say it. You’ve gone too far to turn back. “It’s a mare.”
Twilight blinked. She looked down for a moment, then back up. “I don’t follow.”
Fluttershy uncomfortably rubbed her hooves together, staring at the floor. “I have a crush on a mare.”
“But… you’re a mare,” Twilight stated obviously.
“I… I know,” Fluttershy replied in a barely-audible squeak, “i–it’s… I’m weird, aren’t I.”
Twilight pondered for a moment. “Well, yeah. I’ve never heard of that.”
Fluttershy sat silently for a while to absorb the words. If even Twilight, the smartest pony she knew, hadn’t heard of a mare having feelings for another mare, then… something must be wrong with me.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’ll just go.” Fluttershy finished the sentence on her way to the door, but in a blink of magenta light, Twilight stopped her.
“No! I’m sorry, I just didn’t understand. We’ll get to the bottom of this!” Twilight beamed, inviting Fluttershy back to the comfortable chair.
“R–really?”
“Really.”
As Fluttershy sat down, Twilight walked circles around her, studying her carefully. She quaked nervously under the unicorn’s scrutiny, hiding her face behind her hair and pulling her wings tight to her body. Apparently not finding any physical symptoms, Twilight eventually stopped, then levitated a scroll, quill and ink to her side. She stared for another moment, her eyes stern and unyielding. Fluttershy nervously squeaked, slowly folding herself into a ball.
“First things first,” Twilight stated, scribbling something on the unfurled scroll. “Is this mare… particularly masculine? Sort of stalliony?” She scratched her chin. “… Is it Applejack?”
“Wh–what?! No! She’s… wait, is Applejack stalliony?”
“Never mind. Let me think…” Twilight tapped the quill against her cheek thoughtfully. “Is she a unicorn?”
“Well… yes… is that important?”
“Just thinking out loud.” In spite of the nonchalant explanation, she scribbled furiously on the scroll. “Have you had these feelings for other mares in the past?”
Fluttershy nodded nervously. “Yes, but never this strong.”
“Hmm, I see. And what about stallions?”
Her cheeks burned, and she pulled herself into an even tighter ball. “I…” she squealed. “I don’t think I’m… attracted to stallions.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Oh my!” Once again, she walked circles around her guest, still writing in her scroll. “This calls for further experimentation!”
Fluttershy looked up in horror. “Ex–experimentation?”
Her answer came in the form of Twilight pulling her towards the door. She nervously complied as she was pushed into Twilight’s cellar, with the unicorn herself close behind. Her mind raced and she blushed strongly as she watched Twilight gracefully trot past her and to the stairs, while she tried not to imagine what this “experimentation” might entail. Maybe this won’t be so bad…
As they descended the stairs, Twilight started to explain. “We need to test your response to various stimuli to determine the symptomatic extent of this psychosis.”
A high-pitched whine echoed through the room, and both ponies momentarily looked around, bewildered and trying to find its source. Fluttershy clamped her hooves over her mouth when she realized it was coming from her. She breathed heavily for a moment, then meekly asked, “Psychosis?”
Twilight frowned. “Um… abnormality?”
Fluttershy’s voice became even softer and higher-pitched. “Abnormality?”
“Quirk?”
“Oh… OK, q–quirk…” She looked up. “Is it… serious?”
Twilight gave a friendly laugh and continued down the stairs. “I doubt it. I mean, unless you want to have foals.”
Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Fluttershy gasped at the content of the room. There were chairs, but not for lounging, outfitted with technology she’d never seen, and machines strewn about that even now hummed and clicked and whistled and beeped. She froze fast in place, but Twilight ushered her into one of the chairs nonetheless.
Twilight set up a small box with a roll of paper and a number of pens, of sorts, arranged in a row. The device slowly unrolled the paper while the pens drew lines. It was attached to several wires, and at the end of each wire was a pad, probe, clip or other such device. It was like something out of a horror book, and Fluttershy’s natural instinct was to run, but she quickly found her hooves locked in place in the chair, and her wings squeezed tight against her. Soon, Twilight was busily attaching the devices to every part of her body.
Every part of her body.
“I–is this really necessary?” Fluttershy pleaded.
“You know what they say, precision is next to godliness!”
“I don’t think they say that…”
“Alright, now that you’re tied in, we can start the experiments.” Twilight pursed her lips thoughtfully.
For an instant, Fluttershy’s fear was lost in admiration. As she watched Twilight think, content to see the brilliant mind at work, she felt almost lucky to be tied down, because if she hadn’t been, she might have done something she would regret.
Her face turned flush again as she tried to banish those thoughts.
“For stimulus we’ll need a typical stallion and a typical mare… well, I’m a mare, I can do that myself. And we’ll need a control.” The scroll and quill reappeared, and Twilight methodically wrote notes. “I suppose we’ll need a control subject as well.”
Fluttershy shook nervously. Several of the pens on the machine quaked nearly as much as she.
“Alright, I’ll go collect all the necessary components. Be back soon!”
Twilight trotted up the stairs and closed the door behind her, leaving Fluttershy tied to the machine.
So something is wrong with me. Or quirky with me. It’s OK though, Twilight can figure it out! She’s smart, she’s a good friend, she’s beautiful… um, helpful. She closed her eyes, trying to calm down.
And maybe… maybe she can fix me? So I won’t feel this way any more. Maybe I can be normal! She took a few deep breaths. Then I don’t have to be so nervous around everypony, I won’t have to hide anything anymore.
Her breathing came through ragged, and she couldn’t stop the wave of emotions that was reaching her. She felt a cold droplet slide down her cheek. But I don’t want to stop feeling this way.
The magnitude of her situation suddenly became apparent, and she could no longer hold back the tears. She couldn’t wipe her face, bound as she was, and couldn’t do anything to stop her choked cries. Her eyes stung and her face became damp with her unimpeded sorrow, but try as she might, her bindings didn’t budge.
Twilight will be back in a few minutes! She tried to regulate her breathing, desperate to calm her nerves, but nothing worked. She sobbed for what felt like hours, but was probably only minutes, while the devices attached to her cruelly recorded her every emotion with unfeeling precision. When she was sobbed out, her cheeks burned with the salty moisture, but she was able to breathe normally and be silent again. She coughed and shook her head to try to look calm, thankful only that Twilight hadn’t seen her outburst.
It was another minute of painful self-analysis before the door opened again. Twilight, Pinkie Pie and Big Macintosh came through, the latter carrying a small potted tree. They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Twilight adjusted the straps binding Fluttershy, who found herself panicked anew.
“Y–you didn’t tell them anything, did you?!” she whispered.
“Of course not, Fluttershy,” Twilight reassured. “I would never do that.”
Fluttershy looked up into Twilight’s friendly, violet eyes and instantly calmed, lost for a moment in their shimmering depths. “Thank you.”
“That would have created bias, undermining the whole experiment,” Twilight explained, turning away.
Fluttershy frowned, and waited while Twilight arranged the other ponies. Pinkie didn’t seem particularly concerned to be restrained similarly to Fluttershy, giggling along as each device was attached and each strap tightened.
Twilight used her quill to put a mark on each paper, indicated for Big Macintosh to walk to the back of the room, out of the others’ view, then telekinetically lifted the tree to the center of the room.
“First, the control.”
For about a minute, the tree rocked gently in the middle of the room under the power of Twilight’s magenta magic. Fluttershy took the opportunity to try to relax, but thoughts, fears and memories were flying through her mind. In time she managed to focus on the tree’s slow swaying instead, but it was short-lived. Soon it floated away, and Twilight quickly made a mark on both rolls of paper.
“Alright, next is the stallion. Big Macintosh?” She pointed to the center of the room, and the big earth pony slowly walked out.
He stood, looking back and forth between the bound ponies. With one eyebrow raised, he looked behind them, where Twilight waited.
“Well, go on.”
He tilted his head.
“Do something sexy!”
His face turned even redder than it usually was, and he lifted one foreleg as if to run.
At the back of the room, Twilight sighed. With a startled yelp, Big Macintosh found himself entrapped in her powerful magic, no less able to resist it than the tree. Beyond his control, he swayed his hips in a sort of fumbled dance, blushing furiously and tripping over his own feet. Pinkie didn’t seem to mind the flaws, and whooped and hollered along with every move.
“Yeah, pony boy,” she cried, “show us what you’ve got!” Unable to stop himself, he did just that, “dancing” in an increasingly provocative manner with each passing minute. Soon Pinkie’s enthusiastic calls changed character to giggles, and that’s when Twilight let Big Macintosh loose.
“Thanks for your help, Big Macintosh, you’re free to–”
The door to the cellar slammed, with the test stimulus long gone.
Once again, Twilight put a mark on each of the paper rolls, and once again, she proudly announced the next step in the experiment. “Next up, me.” She took her place in the center of the room.
Fluttershy felt her heart beat faster. Oh no, what if she figures it out?! Calm down, Fluttershy, just stay calm and everything will be alright. Her self-assurance did little to calm her as she started to hyperventilate.
Twilight began to convulse in some motion which no pony could reasonably call dancing. Fluttershy almost chuckled to herself. She’s no better at dancing with her own body than she is at making somepony else dance, that’s so cute– silly! That’s so silly! That’s so silly I just want to grab her and kiss– hug! Um… shake her hoof?
The convulsing continued for a minute or so, all while Fluttershy tried, and failed, to avert her eyes from the unicorn’s gyrating hindquarters.
Strangely, Pinkie Pie seemed no less entertained by this spectacle than by Big Macintosh’s. “Yeah, Twi, shake-a-shake-it!” She giggled just as jovially as she had before.
Fluttershy was fidgeting uncomfortably by the time Twilight stopped. Twilight proceeded to detach her and Pinkie from the machines, then excuse Pinkie to go.
“Aww, do I have to?” Pinkie moaned. “That was fun!”
“Sorry, Pinkie. This is for science.”
Pinkie frowned poutily, but left willingly enough. Twilight collected the rolls of paper and sat them on the floor, side by side, while Fluttershy looked on, rocking from side to side in the chair.
Twilight levitated the quill to the paper and marked each in a few places, hemming and hawing little expressions of surprise and confusion. Then she gestured for Fluttershy to join her, and pointed to one of the scrolls.
“As you can see,” she said, pointing at the edge of one of the jagged lines, “Pinkie Pie’s responses were all as expected. Although her baseline is quite high, she was nearly off the charts with Big Macintosh”—she slid the paper down and pointed a hoof at a different part of the line—“whereas all indicators were near zero for the control.”
She shifted the paper to the opposite end, then scratched her head. “This part is interesting though.”
Fluttershy leaned over, but couldn’t tell one squiggle from another.
“Well, like I said, her baseline was quite high… it’s just, she didn’t seem unexcited by… err, me.”
“Oh?”
“You see,” she traced the line with her hoof, “there are several significant spikes across the board.” She hummed for a moment, then stared for a long while at Fluttershy.
Fluttershy slid back, afraid of the other mare’s scrutiny.
“Maybe… maybe it’s not so unusual…” Twilight tilted her head, smiling very slightly, as her gaze wandered from Fluttershy’s eyes to the rest of her.
Could she mean… Fluttershy’s heart beat faster and her breath came in ragged gasps. No, don’t get your hopes up…
Twilight blinked for a moment, then coughed and slid the paper aside. “Now, yours,” she announced, pulling over the other paper. She pointed at a similar extreme on the line drawn there. “Again, your baselines are very different, but you peaked almost as high for me as Pinkie Pie did for Big Macintosh.” Twilight looked up, her smile a bit bigger.
Fluttershy felt her cheeks burn, and allowed her mane to mask her blush. She still nodded along, but her hooves trembled with apprehension.
Twilight slid the paper further, pointing at another spot. “Here’s Big Macintosh. See? Almost no reaction.” She slid the paper once more, then chuckled slightly. “Fluttershy, you were more aroused by the tree than by Big Macintosh!”
What’s wrong with that? Fluttershy continued nodding along, almost involuntarily at this point.
Twilight lifted the quill to her mouth, chewing its tip thoughtfully but maintaining the rigid stance of an objective scientist. “Hmm, hmm. You say you’ve never felt romantic feelings for a stallion?”
“No…”
“Fascinating, fascinating. And it seems that maybe some level of arousal isn’t… too unusual…” Twilight once again stared, a slight but noticeable smile returning to her muzzle.
“It’s not?”
Twilight shook her head. “Well, I’ll continue studying, but I’m afraid there’s probably nothing for it. You’re just a… um… fem-o-phile.”
“Fem-o-phile?”
“I’d say all you can do is tell this mare you like the truth. Who knows, there may be other fem-o-philes out there too! Maybe…” Twilight bit her lip. “Maybe some mares are fem-o-philes and don’t even realize it.”
Fluttershy nodded eagerly, her mood improving with each breath.
“If you don’t mind my asking, Fluttershy… who is the mare?” Twilight tilted her head, her eyes bright with curiosity. “It’s none of my business, but… well, it might be relevant.”
Fluttershy squeezed her eyes closed as tightly as she could manage. “It’s you,” she admitted.
“Fluttershy…” Twilight’s voice softened, and Fluttershy dared to slit open her eyes. Her beloved had a gentleness in her gaze, and her stance was less stern. “Why didn’t you tell me…”
“I was embarrassed,” Fluttershy mumbled. “I’m sorry.”
Twilight took a step closer, bringing them so close that Fluttershy could feel each warm breath against her cheek. “If I’d known…”
“Y–yes?” Fluttershy felt lightheaded. Can this be happening? Is this real? Is she…
“I would have used a different stimulus. This invalidates my results!”
Author's Note
Thanks to Gold, Mr. Snowpony and Jackie for pre-reading.
