Intergalactic sex engine 6000

by Necryl

Rating: mature
Tags: Crossover, Human, Dark, Comedy
Length: 925

All was find in the land of Iraq.But when John Marstin uses his magic laso,all hell breaks loose in Equestria

Well,my friend Skippypie said that he was going to write a fanfic involving space marines,Nazis,/k/ommandoes,all kinds of things,really.He wanted me to help write it with him,so I did.We'll keep updating it as we go along.This fanfic is not meant to be offensive to Germans or Jews.Me and my friend are just horrible people.Note:This is not meant to offend Germans or Jews.We're just horrible people.

He also wanted me to make a soundtrack for backround music,so here it is http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpCw1iT4-sCkee1mLwpt4za-Vie8yCoJr&feature=mh_lolz

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-16 01:42:29 UTC

President George Bush and the raging transvestite Iraqis

       (A/N:The ponies aren't introduced until chapter 2)

       It all began with George Bush and Joshua Graham camping out near Grand Canyon 2,located in Iraq.Bush was thinking about how he always wanted to be a cartoon horse,and he hoped to achieve this goal with oil.Joshua Graham failed to capture the Hoover Dam.Joshua knew that Caesar would punish him for his failure,but he didn’t expect what was cumming for him.On the other side of the canyon,Caesar,his army of Iraqi transvestite legionaries,and someone he did know,wearing gold armor.”What is the meaning of this”,asked the Legate.”There you are,Joshua”,said Caesar is a seductive voice.”This is my new legate,Lanius.After your failure at the dam,I decided that you should be punished.Lanius,bring me the strap-on!”,shouted the transvestite leader.

        “Now hang on here,Caesar.There’s no need to do anything unconstitutional”,said George Bush,after he finished masturbating using oil as a lube.”Get out of here Bush,before I wreck up your bush”,threatened Caesar.Joshua then notioned Bush to get out of there,like a fresh rape victim gets out of her captives arms after punching him. Bush ran away.”Now,Joshua,me and my transvestite legionaries are going to have some fun”.”Fine”,said the soon-to-be Mormon.”So long as the New Canaanites get to live”.”Well,fuck you,biatch!”,yelled Lanius.”We gonna rape them children up good!”,but at that moment,a figure appeared on the horizon.He was so manly,that all the transvestite Iraqi legionaries came and wet themselves at both parts simultaneously.”Now then John,let’s show these trannies what happens when you mess with America,and our quest for oil,freedom,and no strap-on sex!”,shouted George Bush.It was at that moment,when Caesar ripped off Graham’s pants,fucking him with the strap-on.”Oh,Caesar-Chan”.”Sshh,just be quiet now,Joshua-San.If I’m going to die,then I should at least get to have some fun with you”.

     Right when Caesar was almost done,a lasso appeared on his neck.John Marston decided to use his magical lasso that day,which his whore-wife Abigail bought off that Jewish Gypsy.”Bush!”,shouted Joshua,”Let’s kill these transvestite Iraqis!”.But,the magic of John’s rope teleported them all to a forest.”Damn,that lasso must of teleported me again.Where is everyone?”,asked John to himself.But soon after he got up,Joshua found an MP40,and a Jew-killing swag machine in front of  him.”SIEG HEIL!SIEG HEIL!”,shouted the angry german man with the swastika armband.Right when John thought he was going to die,a loud explosion occurred,and the Nazi was looking at a red hole in his chest.

      “Vut I was only zaying mein hellos in ze German language”,said the Nazi,as he was dying from blood loss.John looked up to see a space marine looking at him.”What the hell’s going on around here?!”,shouted John.”I do not know”,said the space marine.My entire chapter was teleported here when we were giving Chaos soldiers forced anal.I’m a scout.”Shit”,John thought to himself,”I teleported bitches from different time periods with that magic lasso”.”Come with me.My name is Lil B.I fuck bitches”.

Thank you based John

     As Lil B helped John off his feet,they walked through the deserted forest.“My squad was wiped out by those dirty fucking Nazis.”,said B “We can try creating a new squad.An even better one with blackjack and hookers.”“Now you’re speaking my language.Hell,I like you,what’s your name soldier?”,asked the Based marine.“John Marston”.“Alright,well we had better set up a camp for the night night seems as it seems the spooky night time will fall soon.”,inquired B.After setting up a campfire and make-shift shelters out of trees,the new found friends began to spook each each other with very scary stories of Mr.Bones and his wild ride.As they lie down to rest,John and B heard chattering off in the distance.“Shh,do you hear that?It sounds like some bitches”,Said B with a grin on his face.“Aw shit son we gonna get some pussy tonight!!!”,Exclaimed John with much enthusiasm in his voice.The swaggy-ass motherfucking pimps searched for the source of these seducing voices,and after 5 seconds the search paid off. At this time We would like to Inform you to please select and play the song in the playlist: “Fuck Her Gently” by “Tenacious D”

  “THIS IS THE SOURCE OF THE FRIENDSHIP!?”,screamed a white bitchy pony.“Well, you can’t get everything you expect.”,said a purple pony with sass in her voice as she rolled her eyes.”DAYUM,that white pony ass is just screaming for me.”,Said John as he licked his dry lips.”Go get her lil nigga,I got yo back.”,said B.John pounced on the white pone’s back and unzipped his pants faster than you could say “Poopty puepty pants”.His throbbing cock was ready to be engulfed in the warm sex juices of the pone.”Twilight!”,screamed the bitchicorn as she prepared for John’s sausage to enter her meat grinder.

    “Rarity!What is it?!”,Twilight screamed before seeing the sexiest based marine she ever laid her eyes on.Despite the sexiness of Lil B,Twilight had to stop them from raping her cracker friend.”Twilight then cast the magics,and when she tried to use her sith lightning powers,she instead made John cum instantly.”Goddamnit!”,screamed John.”I already came!Now there’s no point in raping this unicorn!”.”So,you’ll let me go?”,asked Raritits.”Fine,but not without some answers first”

    Five minutes have passed since then.”So we in Equestria?”,asked the based marine,Lil B.”Why yes,you and your friend here must of found the magical lasso that only whore wives buy off of gypsies”,said Twilight.”We bought it off that dirty zebra gypsy in these woods”.We tossed it in a portal after sending Derpy and half of Ponyville  away when she tried to strangle Mr.Cake”.”So what about the Nazis?”,asked John.”Nazis?”,asked Bitch pone.”Yeah,those Jew-killing German people”.”Doesn’t ring a bell”,said the sexy-ass unicorns in unicornison.”The ones with the swagga hats”,implied Lil B”.The two ponies then realized who they were talking about,and gasp”.