Chapter III: Fuck Order, I'm Morgrad

The shallows were just the right temperature for the crab lazing about in the muddy waters.  For the first time in almost seventy three centuries, Morgrad was feeling less than irritated with the world.  He clutched at his wine with a claw, enjoying his rest away from Canterlot, and that hag of a Princess.  A faint rumbling in the distance shattered the calm of the waters, and Morgrad swore as he stood, his curse causing a small child somewhere to have a brain aneurysm.

The crab’s thick cockney accent seemed distinctly out of place in Equestria, but, for Morgrad, it was just right.  He thinks that it’s funny, in a cosmic sort of way.  “Roight, seems tha’ ‘Lestia dun’ wan’ me ta enjoy meself.  Jus’ means tha’ ‘er li’l ponies won’ be ‘avin much fun neither.”  With a quick adjustment to his tophat and monocle, the crab moved from the water, heading for the distant town of Ponyville: the source of the vibrations.

Applejack struggled to keep pace with the herd of cows as they stampeded along.  The last time this had happened it had been just a simple garden snake that had startled them all, but this time it seemed different.  No amount of coaxing would get the bovine stampeders to stop their charge towards the town.  Luckily Rainbow Dash had been near enough to the herd to notice their stampede, and warn the residents of the town.  The main road through town was clear, and that was Applejack’s target.

With Winona’s help, it was fairly easy to take care of, and a short while later the cows had reached their apparent destination, almost three miles outside of Ponyville.  A bit too tired from her run to chastise the cows, Applejack simply shrugged and headed back to town.  On her way, though, she found a strange creature making its way towards her.  It wasn’t so much the creature that was strange, though.  She’d seen nearly every creature that Equestria had to offer, this mudcrab being no exception.

The thing that made it interesting was the fact that it was not only looking at her, it had on a monocle and a top hat.  And in one of its claws it had a wine glass.

“Top o’ th’ mornin’ to ya.”  The creature’s thick accent made it hard for Applejack to puzzle out what it said the first time, but after a moment of thinking she pieced together what it had said.

“Good mornin’.  I... uh... How are you?”

“Bloody ‘orrible, sorry ta say.  See, I was jus’ enjoyin’ meself in th’ river jus’ o’er there when all o’ a sudden I’m bein’ tossed all about by th’ vibes in th’ earth.  Y’ wouldn’ ‘appen ta know anythin’ ‘bout it, would ya’?”

The country mare just stared at the crab for a moment, her mind racing to catch up with what was happening before her.  “There was a stampede.  The cows must’a been spooked by something...”

“Bugger that!  Tell ‘em tha’ Morgrad says they need ta trample ‘bout quieter nex’ time.”