"Fireflies" Supplemental 1: The Conference
"Fireflies" Supplemental 1: The Conference
(This takes place during Chapter V of 'Fireflies': The Chat)
“Girls. We need to talk.” Dash motioned her head towards the door, the subtle gesture being enough for the others to pick up on what she meant. “Now.” Within moments all six of the girls had moved upstairs and into Dash’s room. They all found places that were comfortable for them, and then all eyes settled on the de facto speaker of the meeting.
Pinkie was the first to speak up. “So, Dashie, what’s going on? Why do you want to talk to us about the door?” Dash let out a groan as she put her face in her palm.
“Pinkie, I don’t think that Dash wants to talk to us about the door.” Twilight’s gaze was focused on Dash as she spoke, her posture betraying nothing, but her eyes sparkled with interest. “I think... No, I know that she wants to talk to us about Icarus.” Dash nodded in response, and Twilight smiled. “See. Like I said, the topic for today is Icarus.”
“Yeah. More to the point, though, it’s about our ongoing bet. I... I won.”
Applejack simply snorted at that, prompting a harsh glare from the pegasus. “Sugarcube, you’re going to have to tell us what happened. The rules of our wager are pretty specific.”
“She’s right, Dash.” Rarity spoke up this time. “We made certain that there was little room for interpretation on this. Either you did win, or you didn’t win. There’s not really much room for a ‘maybe.’”
Applejack still had a smirk on her face when she gestured at Dash. “So? Tell us what happened.”
“Well, we went on a run this morning. Pretty standard stuff, a bit of stretching before we started, and then we got going. Unlike the last time, though, I kept his pace, rather than setting my own. I knew how he felt the last time, so I wanted to make sure that it didn’t happen again.” Dash looked down for a moment, idly fiddling with her hands. “Anyway, we were heading through the jungle, and he started to slow down some, probably to deal with the roughness of the road. So, we were going along, and I wasn’t too winded to talk, so I asked him a question.
“I asked him what the he and Pinkie were up to last night, since I didn’t really think that Pinkie told us... everything.”
“Dashie! I wouldn’t lie to you! I told you everything that happened, and you know it!”
“Yeah, but I wanted to know what Icarus would say! I...” She looked at all the other girls for a moment before she slumped into the chair that was behind her. “I was jealous of what happened between the two of you, and I wanted to see if I could use that to my advantage.” Dash looked at all the girls for a moment, her gaze lingering on Pinkie for just a moment before she continued. “Icarus told me pretty much the same thing as you did, Pinkie. Except that I didn’t want to accept it from him. I got angry with him, and he snapped back at me. Then I snapped back, and he nearly stormed off. Instead of leaving, though, he did that whole staring at the sky thing he does.”
Fluttershy tentatively raised a hand. “From what I’ve seen he only does that when he’s trying to keep calm. In all the times I’ve seen him do that it’s the worst when it’s one of us.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight’s gaze switched quickly from Dash to Fluttershy at this newly revealed information. “How is it worse when it’s us, versus someone else?”
“Well, we all like him, and he likes all of us. But when we do something that bothers him, it hits him harder than if, say, Lyra bothered him. We were his first friends in Ponyville, and I think that he might use us as a judging point for how we should treat each other. Whenever we mess up, it clashes with how he sees us.”
Twilight jumped in. “Not that I’m proud of it, but Icarus and I have had arguments about a great number of things. He never reacted quite that way any of those times.”
“That’s because it was something expected.” Rarity smiled as she looked between the girls. “When it’s expected, he doesn’t react. But, in this case, for instance, Icarus told Rainbow the truth. When she failed to trust him, he probably tried to argue his point, correct, Dash?” A nod from Rainbow Dash prompted a continuation. “And then, in response you just got louder, and angrier?”
“Yeah. And that was when he nearly left. I didn’t let him leave, though. I... I didn’t let him stay that way for long.” Silence engulfed the group for a moment, and then Dash continued. “Anyway, after that, I led the two of us to a waterfall in the jungle, and we hung out there for a while, and we talked. After we talked we...” Dash’s cheeks flushed as she spoke. “We kinda... We did it.”
“It?” This came from Pinkie, her face indicating her honest confusion.
“You know... It.”
Rarity sighed before she looked at Dash. “She’s talking about sex, Pinkie. Although that alone doesn’t win the contest, Dash. I do hope you realize that.”
“Yeah, I know that sex doesn’t count. But he said the magic word. And that means that I win.”
Twilight cleared her throat, drawing the gazes of the others to her. “Context matters, Dash. What, specifically, did he say?”
“Oh. Um... Hold on...” Several moments passed before she managed to remember what, exactly, had been said. “‘I’d love to, Dashie.’ That’s what he said. And that totally counts.”
Applejack shook her head, her smile growing just a bit wider. “‘Fraid that doesn’t count, ‘Dashie.’ Wrong context. He didn’t say he loved you, he said that he’d love to do ‘it’ with you. And that isn’t the same thing.”
“Yeah it is!”
“I’m sorry, Dash, but we were quite clear when we made this bet. He didn’t specifically say that he loves you.” Twilight didn’t share Applejack’s enthusiasm. “While I can understand that you might have seen it that way, it’s not the same thing.”
“You weren’t there! You didn’t see the way he looked at me!” Dash’s volume was rising, but she didn’t even realize it.
“Dashie, last night I thought he’d say it too, but he didn’t.” Pinkie’s frown matched Twilight’s, although she didn’t seem quite that upset about it. “It’s not you, Dashie, it’s all of us.”
“He said it!” Her shout seemed to linger in the air, and it took several long minutes of silence for anyone to speak again. “I... I’m sorry. I just... I want to win, but at the same time...”
Applejack slowly stood, and moved over to Dash, leaning over to look squarely at the Pegasus. “I understand, Dash. But we can’t rush him any more than we can rush a river. Just like the river, Icarus will get where he’s going eventually, and there’s nothing any of us can do to make that come any sooner.”
“We shouldn’t really be up here for so long with Icarus around. He’s here to relax, not worry about us fighting, and I am pretty sure that he heard your shout, Dash.” The others nodded at Fluttershy’s suggestion, and they all slowly rose, save for Dash. “You all go and try and act normal. I want to talk some with Dash on my own.”
"Fireflies" Supplemental 2: Alt. Chapter V
"Fireflies" Supplemental 2: Alt. Chapter V
(Look for Twin Horizontal Break Lines to find where chapter diverges from Original Version)
For quite some time we walked in silence, the warming weather and intermittent sunlight working to dry off body and clothing alike. The silence that had fallen over the two of us was fairly disconcerting, and so I tried a few attempts at starting some form of conversation, but all my attempts died in my throat. The miles seemed to vanish before us as we walked, and soon we were on the road heading back to the house. I stopped abruptly as I finally mustered up the courage to speak.
“Dash, what are we going to tell the others? Not that I have a problem with what we did, but... I don’t know, it just seems like I’m doing something wrong, somehow.” Dash stopped walking as I spoke, and she turned to look at me. “I mean, given what Pinkie said last night, it was like she wanted to be in the position you were in an hour ago. How do I --”
“Relax, Icarus. I may not be the best at talking about emotions and stuff, but when it comes to talking to the girls I’m damn good.”
I raised an eyebrow. “As good as your flying?”
She just laughed at that. “Pfft, no. Flying is who I am. Talking about what we did in the jungle is something that I’m just going to make up on the fly. Trust me, though. It’ll be fine.” As she finished she continued making her way to the house, leaving me looking up at the sky, slowly shaking my head. After a moment of silent contemplation I followed in Dash’s footsteps, gradually decreasing the distance to the house.
When the house came into view I stopped my walk, allowing me to simply look at the building. I groaned as I resumed my pace, the last few hundred feet seeming to take as long as the rest of the walk. When I opened the door I peeked around it before I walked in. The silence that greeted me was both a comfort and a cause for concern. With as much haste as I could muster I made my way to my room, closing the door as I entered, making sure to lock it.
Stripping off my now dry clothing I grabbed a towel and headed to my shower. The soothing spray of water allowed for me to clear my mind, and by the time I finished I was feeling better about what Dash had said.
She doesn’t make a boast unless she can follow up on it. If she’s confident that she can handle this then who am I to think I know better?
Getting dressed again was a momentary diversion, and I was soon heading down the hall towards the stairs. As I passed by Dash’s room I was fairly certain that I heard voices coming from the other side, but I didn’t linger very long, the urge to listen beaten by the moral principles I held to. I walked to the kitchen after reaching the ground floor, making a beeline for the refrigerator. The absence of breakfast had left me with a hunger that needed to be sated. My rummaging rewarded me with an apple and an orange, which was good enough for me.
I took my victuals to the balcony that was past the living room, and I was soon sitting at the table, my feet propped up, the apple and orange in my hand. The sounds of the distant ocean did wonders to soothe my mind, and I began to drift off. A sudden shout shattered my reverie, and I turned to look over my shoulder, expecting to see one of the girls storming out. After waiting for a minute, and there was no one leaving the house, I went back to my relaxation, the refreshing ocean air blowing against my face.
As I was finishing my orange, after having devoured the apple, there was the sound of footsteps in the house, and I looked over my shoulder once more. The girls all seemed amicable enough, but I’d been around them long enough to know how to read even the small amount of tension that pervaded the atmosphere. It probably wouldn’t escalate into a full blown fight, but things would be less than pleasant until this had blown over. Oddly enough, or perhaps expectedly, Dash and Fluttershy didn’t come down. Considering how close the two of them are it’s not too surprising that they’d choose to remain together for the time being.
Applejack was the first to notice me on the balcony and she decided to come over, grabbing an apple from the fridge first. She took a seat next to me, mirroring my posture, and casually taking a bite from her apple. She didn’t say anything, but, with Applejack, words weren’t necessary. Her simple presence was enough to get people to start talking when they felt that the silence had gone on long enough. However, I didn’t fit in with ‘most people.’ Long bouts of silence in my study had inured me to the social awkwardness that people often felt in these situations.
As she finished her apple she let out a quick sigh before she stood, and went inside. I let her go, knowing that she wasn’t leaving for long. No matter how quiet things were, Applejack always said something before she left, whether it was a formal goodbye, or a casual departure. When she returned she had a bottle of fancy beer, and two glasses in the other hand. Without a word she put the glasses on the table, and then the bottle just behind the glasses. I glanced at the beer, and noted with a smile that Applejack had chosen my favorite brew.
“Good to see that you know what I like, AJ.” She simply nodded before returning to her seat, adopting the same posture she had held before.
More than an hour passed before the next word was spoken between the two of us, and it was Applejack who finally spoke. “I’ve been wondering, Icarus. What do you do in Ponyville while the girls and I are out and about? I mean, aside from working on those technical drawings of yours.”
“Oh, all sorts of things. I daydream, I sleep, I eat, I shop, the list is nearly endless,” I siad, maintaining a serious expression. Applejack just frowned. “Fine. I think about all sorts of things, and I try to socialize about town. I also work, quite a bit more than you girls might think, but what I do pales in comparison to what you do. Still, I spend quite a bit of time with my hands full.”
“And what did you do in your spare time before you came to Ponyville? Or, better, what did you do in your spare time while you were in Manehattan?”
“That’s quite the question, AJ. You want the long answer, or the short one?”
“Somewhere in between the two. We have some time, but not all the time in the world. Fluttershy said that she was going to start making some dinner once she finished her little talk with Dash.
I nodded. “Fair enough. Before I start, how about we crack open the Chimay. Good stories need good company... And plenty of liquid courage.” A couple minutes later and the bottle was open, and each glass filled. “Now then, things I did for fun, you asked?”
Applejack took a drink before she looked over at me. “Not just fun, anything you did in whatever spare time you had.”
“Well, one of the things I did the most often was just spending time walking the streets of the city. To see all those people, all of them with such a purpose to their stride. Rarely would any two people stop to talk to one another. The individual neighborhoods were different, but in the busier parts of the city it was all business. That’s where I always had the most fun, though. I’d find a good spot, sit back, and watch.”
“You’d just watch people? Isn’t that kind of creepy?”
“If you’re in Ponyville, yes. In Manehattan, no. Back in Ponyville we all know each other. If there’s someone just standing there watching everything it seems kind of strange. Now, in Manehattan, people are too busy with what they’re doing to notice something like a person just standing there and watching. It’s just not a factor in their lives. And it wasn’t even like I was watching one person. I was watching the communal whole.” I paused for a moment, trying to think of a way to give Applejack a good comparison before I remembered that she had been to Manehattan. “AJ, when you went to Manehattan, how did it feel to be in a crowd?”
“Like I was being swept along by the currents, without anyone caring where I went in the progress.”
“Exactly. Now, imagine standing back and watching it take place. To see the gentle changes in crowd dynamics. To watch as the endlessly moving columns of people slowly shifted to the ever changing environment. I loved to watch that. I sometimes did it for hours, simply allowing the flow of the crowd be the guiding force for my thoughts.” I took a small drink of my beer before I continued. “But that wasn’t the only thing I did.”
As I was about to continue Fluttershy walked onto the balcony, an apron wrapped about her. “Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to know how hungry the two of you are. I don’t want to accidently make too much.”
I gave her a smile. “I’m quite hungry, actually. What are you making?”
“Well I’m making a salad, with cranberries and orange wedges. Dash is making some steaks.” I slowly lowered my glass to the table, looking at Fluttershy with a look of doubt on my face. “It’s okay, Icarus. I’ll be making sure that it doesn’t turn out like last time.”
Applejack gave a quick laugh before she gave an answer. “I’m pretty hungry, Fluttershy. And I hope that you keep a close eye on Dash’s cooking. I can’t eat charcoal.” She only blushed a bit as she turned and headed back inside. “Now then, Icarus. You were saying?”
“Yeah, crowd watching was just a diversion for when I didn’t want to do anything practical, or constructive. Although it was something I did quite a bit more often than I should’ve. Sometimes I would just spend the days hanging out with my friends, roaming the city and causing trouble. We were... Troublemakers. We never did anything serious, if that’s what you’re thinking. Still, we often took advantage of the practical applications of spray paint when it comes to graffiti.” I chuckled as some vivid memories came back. “Still can’t believe that we got away as many times as we did.”
“You were a vandal?”
“Wow, what a negative term. We were artists with atypical canvases, seeking to share what we saw with the world. Honestly, who wants to pay to see the kind of art that fancy people like, when you can wander the streets and see art that’s better than some stupid museum piece.”
“I suppose, but it’s still not allowed.”
I chuckled for several minutes before I managed to compose myself. “That’s the exact argument I gave to my dad when I got caught. And his response matched yours perfectly.” I frowned for a moment as I thought about my dad.
“Seems like he was a reasonable man. What was he like?”
“Quiet, most of the time. He got the most animated when we were doing something together. Entire days passed between the two of us without a word shared, but then we’d spend an entire day doing stuff and neither of us could shut up for five minutes.” I looked at my empty glass for a moment. “Those days were always my favorite. We’d talk, and talk, and talk, with hardly a thing actually being said. We’d just talk for the sake of having company. Don’t get me wrong, we had times when we’d hold serious conversations, but most of the time it was idle chatter.”
“I know the feeling. Mac and I do that sometimes. Big Mac isn’t the most talkative guy around, but there are some days when he just won’t stop talking to me, or Apple Bloom. He’d talk for hours and hours without really saying much of anything.” She put her glass on the table before filling both our glasses again. “I remember none of what we said, but I wouldn’t trade away what we did for the world. Like you said, it was simply for the sake of having the company. Of having someone to talk to.”
I gladly accepted my now full glass, noting with a smile the fact that Applejack poured a perfect glass of beer. “I just wish, sometimes, that we had those days more often. It’s not like my dad was incapable of it. According to some of his friends he just wouldn’t shut up before I was born. He’d go on and on about how great his inventions would be, and how much he’d change the world. Then I was born, mom left, and he just stopped.”
Applejack paused mid drink at the mention of my mother. In all the time I’d been in Ponyville I’d never once mentioned her. “To hear my dad talk about her... I swear, it was like he met his soulmate. I only saw a picture of her once. It was one my dad kept in his study. The two of them could talk for hours about any topic. It was like they were made for each other.”
Applejack spoke softly, clearly cautious of saying the wrong thing. “Did... Did she die?”
“No. And that’s what bothers me the most. Dad always said that he’d tell me when he was ready, and when the time was right.” I fell silent as I simply looked out towards the ocean. Applejack didn’t breach the silence and so time passed the way it does, and soon the sun was sinking beneath the horizon, lengthening the shadows of the sparse palm trees.
“Hey you two, dinner’s ready. And I didn’t burn anything this time!” Applejack and I both turned at the words, and Dash was looking at us with a big smile on her face. “Now let’s eat, I’m starving.”
Applejack stood before I did, taking her glass and the bottle of Chimay with her, leaving me alone on the balcony for a moment. I stood stretching for several moments after Applejack went in, the long bout of sitting leaving me just a bit stiff. After my stretch I grabbed my glass, and I turned and headed inside, closing the door as I passed through it.
The table wasn’t set elaborately, but a vase of flowers sitting in the center of the table gave it a nice appeal. The girls had taken seats around the table leaving a spot open for me between Dash and Rarity. I gladly took the seat that was available and soon we were eating the magnificent food Fluttershy and Dash had prepared.
The beginning of the meal passed in silence as everyone present simply ate the food that was available. As we started to slow down in our meal, Twilight finally spoke up. “So, Icarus, Dash, how was your run this morning? You were out for quite a while.”
I was, luckily, not eating or drinking anything when she asked her question, because I’m fairly certain that, given the sharp intake of breath I made, I would've sucked anything into my lungs. I looked up from my plate to glance at Dash before I looked over at Twilight. Dash was busying herself with her plate, leaving it to me to answer the question.
“It was nice, Twi.” I carefully grabbed my glass and I looked at the contents of it before looking back at Twilight. “It was quite... invigorating. We saw some really nice sights while we ran, and even when we stopped for some breaks.” I made sure to keep a level voice as I spoke, knowing all too well that Applejack would jump on any kind of change in how I spoke. “It was as much a workout in cardio as it was... endurance. And, I gotta say, I need to work on just how long I can last.”
Dash was quick to jump in with a follow up to what I said. “Yeah, I’ll say. For the first part you didn’t last long at all.” When she realized what she said, she was quick to go back to playing with the food left on her plate, the blush on her face nearly as bright as the lock of red hair atop her head. I gave a shake of my head before I looked at the rest of the girls at the table, frowning when I saw that all the girls were blushing and looking at the room around us.
“Right, well, since things have taken a turn for the awkward, and even I can tell that you all know far more than I’d like you to, I’m going to go for a walk, or something.” As I spoke I picked up my plate before heading to the kitchen and depositing my dirty dishes in the sink. Just as I was opening the door to head out I heard the sound of feet in the dining room, and a moment later Rarity came to the door, a small smile on her face.
“Perhaps you might enjoy some companionship on your walk?” I only nodded before she quickly walked past me, heading out into the night. I shook my head as I followed behind her, offering a quick wave to the others as I stepped through the door. Rarity was standing on the road looking at me as I walked down the short path that led to her.
“Companionship is well and good, Rarity, but I’m taking this walk to clear my head, not add more to my mental plate.”
“Oh, I understand, Icarus. I wouldn’t dream of making this walk uncomfortable for you.” Her words said one thing, but the smile on her face said something else entirely.
Ten minutes. Fifteen, tops. Creator, I know them all so well. At least it’s not Pinkie.
The walk started in relative silence, the only audible sounds being our footsteps, and the faint sounds of the jungle around us. The uneven texture of the road eventually gave way to the cobbled streets of the town, and soon we were weaving between the buildings. I glanced at my watch as we walked, and I started guiding Rarity through the town, my destination set in my mind. Even though I was the one who wanted the silence, I couldn’t help but feel awkward having company, but not saying anything to her.
“You’re really not going to say anything, Rarity?”
“Hmm? Oh, no. You said that you just wanted to think. Given what’s happened to you today, I imagine that you’ll need quite a bit of time to think. Although I’m here to listen, if you want to talk. This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve helped you with a problem regarding our athletically inclined friend.” She only smiled as she brought her gaze back to the path we were walking along. Soon enough we reached the cliff that was my destination. It offered an impressive view of the ocean, and, more importantly, the moon and stars.
I walked to one of the benches that was separate from the rest, since I didn’t feel like being observed, or overheard. Rarity followed just a step behind me, and I motioned to the bench. She graciously took a seat, and I planted myself down beside her. The distant sound of waves breaking did little to calm my mind, and so I risked glance at Rarity. She was looking at me, an amused expression on her face.
“Go ahead, Icarus. It’s not like the problems in your head are going to magically find their way into my mind...” She paused as I raised an eyebrow. “Alright, I could do that, but it’ll be better if you tell me, rather than have me pull it out.”
I groaned as I leaned forward, my head finding a comfortable resting spot in my hands. “I really don’t know how to deal with all of this. First Pinkie seems like she’s coming on to me. There was so much potential in that room right then, but she just bounced off, leaving me more confused than before.” I smirked as I continued. “And before that there was that little stunt you pulled. Not that I’m complaining, since you’re a sight that I don’t think I’d ever get tired of looking at.” A small blush surged to her cheeks at my compliment. My tone shifted towards a more somber note as I continued. “And then there’s what Dash and I did.”
With my recollection complete, Rarity just continued staring out into the inky darkness of the sky. “And?”
“And what?” I shifted my position until I was looking at Rarity, and she at me. “And I don’t know what’s the right thing to do. I...” I struggled to find the words I was looking for. “Since I moved to Ponyville I’ve looked for some way to integrate myself into the community. I found that spot when I learned that I was the best inventor this side of Canterlot. But that’s not enough for me. I want to have a special someone to spend my time with, and I was hoping that it would be one of you girls. But, now, I’m finding out that all of you are interested in me.”
As I drew in a breath, Rarity cut in. “I don’t see what the issue is.”
“You don’t see... How can you not see it? I don’t want to have to choose.”
“Life is all about choice, Icarus. Then again, sometimes the choice gets made for you.” Rarity moved a bit closer to me on the bench, wrapping an arm around me. “Pinkie and Rainbow have both expressed an interest, and it’s been made clear to you that we’re all interested. I’m not an exception, mind you. I’ve always been intrigued by you. A mystery from Manehattan, the pegasus who isn’t.”
“Been reading some romance novels again, Rarity?”
She just let out a small chuckle before replying. “You say that like I stopped at some point. Still, Icarus, we aren’t here to force you to do anything.”
“I know that, but it doesn’t help that I feel like I have to choose.” Rarity didn’t respond to that, and we lapsed into silence. Several minutes passed before I finally wiggled an arm free from Rarity’s embrace, draping it over her shoulder, and pulling her close. I couldn’t see it, but, somehow, I knew that the smile on Rarity’s face grew wider at my touch. “Waiting won’t help this time, will it?”
“No, dear. This time you’ll have to take action. What action you take is important, though, and I suggest you make certain that it’s the right move before you do it.” I let out a small sigh with Rarity’s completion. “Don’t worry about it too much, Icarus. I’m sure that you’ll do just fine.”
“Yeah, because my past performance is so much to write home about.”
Rarity pulled herself away from me with a slight groan, and when I met her gaze she had an icy stare for me. “It doesn’t much matter how you did in the past, Icarus. Success is simply trying one more time than you fail. And before you try telling me something about how it hurts your ego, remember that you can’t let your ego keep you from trying. Just look at Spike. He knew that we’d never be able to be romantically engaged with each other, but he kept trying. He was always so determined.”
“He’s also still a hormonally driven teenager.”
“Are you going to claim that you’re not going to try as hard as Spike does because you aren’t a teenager anymore?” I slowly stood as Rarity spoke. “Because if that’s your excuse-”
My finger, placed just right on her mouth, silenced her faster than any words I could’ve spoken. “I didn’t say I wasn’t going to try. I’m simply observing a fact. He’s still a hormonally driven teenager, so he doesn’t let his failures weigh him down quite as much.” I removed my finger from her lips, and she let a smile come to her face. “I, on the other hand, am an adult... sort of. My failures take their toll on me, and it starts to get a bit much.”
“What failures? Other than your mishap involving your wings, what failures do you have to speak of?”
“Nothing that you’d know about.” She opened her mouth to speak, an indignant look crossing her features. “Not like that. It’s not the kind of thing I talk about with anyone, let alone you, or one of the others. I tend to... talk to myself when I’m alone. I feel more comfortable hearing my voice sometimes. Anyway, I talk about the things I want to do with my life, and who I want to spend it with. And I concoct these great ideas in my head, all sorts of fantastic scenarios where I wow one of you, or even one of the other fine females around town, and then suggest a more romantic way for the two of us to relate.”
“That doesn’t sound all that bad. You like to plan things out for when you go to try and ask someone to be your special someone. But if that’s the case, why have I never heard of you attempting any of these plans”
“Because I always rationalize my way out of it. I make excuses, and come up with stupid reasons why it won’t work. Call it being a defeatist, if you want. I just... Everytime I try, I think of all the ways it can go wrong, rather than the ways it can go right.” I extend a hand down to Rarity, and she gracefully took it, using my weight to leverage herself up with greater ease. “Let’s start heading back to the house. It’s late enough already, and I’d rather not have them speculate about what we’re doing out here.”
“Honestly, Icarus, if I wanted to I could convince them all that we did, in fact, have sex while we were out. There would be little room for speculation on their part. But I won’t do that.” She gave me a smile as she started making her way around the bench, her grip on my hand remaining just as strong. “Instead, I’ll let you talk some more. Since you seem to be quite good at speaking when you put your mind to it.”
“Yeah, except for when I try to sound intelligent. Or funny.” Rarity slowly adjusted how our hands were meshing together until she had our fingers interlocked. After that, she pulled herself close to my side, her other hand still hanging freely. “Or romantic. That’s when I do my worst.”
“Nonsense, Icarus. You do just fine.” The house came into view as we walked on in silence, and as we approached I tried to remove my hand from Rarity’s, only to find that she wouldn’t let go. “You would try to leave me before escorting me to my bedroom?”
“I... No. But if you try something I’ll--”
“You’ll what? Blush and stammer?” I just muttered under my breath while Rarity laughed at me. “That’s what I thought. Now, escort me to my chambers like any good gentleman would.”
Well Down the Long and Winding Road
My reflection stared back at me. The tuxedo I was wearing was perfectly fashioned, and fit me like a glove. Rarity does good work, there’s no denying that. Spike, my best man, stood behind me in solemn silence, allowing me a few minutes to simply try and compose myself.
“Icarus, you okay?”
“Just... I’m just feeling a bit philosophical right now, Spike.” I turned to face him. “I’m about to make the plunge into a permanent relationship.”
“Well, go ahead and weave your philosophy. I’ll listen, and it’d be better for you to get it out rather than let it stew inside.”
I sighed, and then turned back to the mirror, looking myself in the eyes. “Sometimes... Sometimes I wonder if, at some point in my life, I could’ve changed it all. Ya know, some decision I made that could’ve made every single choice after it a non entity. What makes this really interesting, though, is the fact that it could be any decision I’ve ever made. Hell, maybe it’s a decision that someone else made that got me where I am today. Maybe it was agreeing to a blue notebook instead of getting a red one. Maybe it was getting a ninety on a test rather than an eighty.
“What if I could have been the greatest man to have ever lived had I just made one different decision at some point in my life? Would I even be able to recognize that different me? Would that decision have changed nothing in the grand scheme? Is there some pivotal point in my life, and if there is one, where is it?
“And what about the people we meet through our life? The best of friends, and the worst of enemies. They all come together to shape a person and give them meaning. For, what is a man without a peer with which to judge him? Were I alone in the universe, I would be the moral standard. I would be the measurement by which all things are judged. So, I ask again, what is the importance of the people we meet?
“They are there to shape you in all things.
“For some, that pivotal choice has yet to come. They have yet to reach their defining moment. That one choice that will shape the rest of their future. And, when I think of that, I have to wonder if I’ve reached that point yet. Have I seen my greatest moment come before me and pass by in a blur of day to day life? I pray to the Creator that it isn’t so.
“So, let us suppose that it hasn’t come yet. Let us suppose, for just a moment, that we know when our defining moment will come. But, to add to the mystery, we don’t know what that defining moment is. All we know, all we can know, is when it will arrive. And then, in that moment of choice, we have to wonder, we have to stop and think; Am I ready for this? Can I really make this decision, and live with it?
“And the answer, is, of course, yes. You can do it. You do it every single day that you live. Every single day that you draw in a breath in the morning, and do the same at night, you have done it. There is no ultimate decision that will have to be made. Only occasional hard choices. And those are the moments that make us who we are.
“Each time you are faced with a difficult choice you are always given one more option than you are told. Suppose there are two doors that you must go through. Each one leads down a different road, and once you choose you can’t go back. For most, there are just those two options. But, for those who see each option as being an awful outcome, there is the escapist method. A choice not to continue. A choice to permanently end your trip down the road of life.
“But what you need to consider, what you need to realize, is that all things will pass. At some point, Creator knows how far along the road, it will merge back together. It may twist and turn a thousand times, but, eventually, it will go back to the straight and narrow.
“Never let anyone drag you down, because, at the end of the road, all you have to do is make peace with yourself. You are your own worst critic, and not one other person on the planet will have an opinion that matters more to you than your own.”
Spike put his hand on my shoulder, and he just motioned his head towards the double doors behind him. “Come on, Socrates. You’ve got a wedding to attend.”
“No, see, I’m Icarus. Socrates was one of my uncles.”
Author's Note
If you didn't like it, just deal with it. I was feeling philosophical, and I was, at the same time, thinking about Icarus' future. Decided to combine the two. This was the product. Also, felt like throwing you boyos a bone, since I've been slow with actual content for Fireflies.
