Bad Company: Royal Guard

by Master-Chief

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 1954

Bravo company. Made up of some of Equestria's stupidest mother buckers the guard has ever seen.

Bravo company. Made up of some of Equestria's stupidest muther buckers the royal guard has ever seen. Lead by First Lieutenant Thunder Hoof; who has a fetish for a certain white regal alicorn. Second in command Staff sergeant Rolling Rock; who was placed in Bad company for looking at classified scrolls. Corporal Spricketts; who beat the crap out of Shining Armor. And the newest member of Bravo Company, Golden Blade; for many acts of stashing large amounts of un-authourized weapons the Royal guard considers illegal.

Published 2013-02-16 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-16 19:50:01 UTC

Welcome to Bad Company.

                          The castle had a eerie silence in the mid-afternoon sun. The sun's rays peeped through the colorful stained glass that lined each side of the castle's long and pearly white hallways. Only a select few ponies such as maids or servants cleaned or walked down this hallway. First Lieutenant Thunder hoof strode down this exact hall way and didnt make any facial or eye contact with the castle staff. His snow white armor shined from the sun's magnificant rays, as well did the gold embrodery. He came to a halt at the end of the hallway. Currently he was inbetween the throne room's large wooden doors and an intersection. He checked left and right to make sure the coast was clear. He briskly strode across the floor and leaned up against the marble walls. He scanned the area once more to make sure he was in the clear. Thunder Hoof back away from the wall and knocked on the wall twice with his hoof. A small section of the wall developed in a light blue auroa, and the door slid back. Another gaurd pony stood stiff as a board while he saluted Thunder Hoof. Thunder Hoof rolled in before implying to Staff sergeant Rolling Rock.

"Hey staff sergeant can you please read what the plaque says?" Thunder Hoof said in an annoyed tone. Rolling rock dropped his hoof and directed his eye's and attention to the plaque that hung over the conceled entrance door.

"Do not salute Thunder Hoof when in his presence at this fine establishment, only outside may you salute the Lieutenant or in the presence of other officers," Rolling Rock stated and shook his head. "Sorry boss."

"Yeah just dont screw up again alright." Thunder Hoof said pouring himself a mug of whisky.

                            The multitude of colors filled the room, dim yellow lights, some green and some red here and there. This hideout could be described as a club, the only exception was that there wasnt any mares on a pole in the center of the room. Sprickket came out of the restroom and gave a sigh of sweet relief.

"Oh hey boss, whats up?" asked Sprickket.

"Not much, except for a new member who will be here momentarily and thats just about it."

"That so boss?" both Rolling Rock and Sprickket asked.

"Sure is." Thunder chuckled and took anther swig from the beverage he was enjoying. Both Sprickket and Rolling Rock high hoofed each other and Sprickket gave out his own personal little cheer. "Hell bucking yes!"

                              Golden Blade rummaged through his bag making sure he had everything.

"Pictures check, saber check, armor and helmet check. Alright I think I'm ready to- wait a second," Golden Blade said dropping his bag. "Almost forgot these baby's." He picked up a small hoof held device and tossed it into his bag. He stretched his wings and picked up the bag once more and made his way out of the barracks.

                              "Alright faceing directly infront of throne room doors and it should be to my left." Golden Blade said aloud as he stared to his left. Nothing but a white marble wall met his gaze.

"Theres nothing there though." He said with clear annoynce in his voice. As if some pony had been watching and listening to him, a door slid open. A pony wearing a navy blue beenie motioned for him to come in. Golden Blade did as he was instructed and entered the secret room. The door closed behind him and he was met by a quick punch to his chest. Golden Blade looked from where he had been hit then to the pony whom had hit him.

"Glad to meet you, the names Sprickkets!" Golden Blade looked down at the ponies' gesture and shook it firmly. Another pony trotted up to Golden Blade.

"Pleasure to meet you Private Blade. The names Rolling Rock," Golden Blade shook Rolling Rock's hoof. "And this here is Thunder Hoof, our company leader.

"Make sure he reads the plaque." Thunder said as he was taking a drink from his thirdd cup of the whisky.

"What plaque?" Golden Blade asked. Sprickkets pointed towards the door and Golden Blade followed turning his body around. He read the plaque silently and returned his attention back to the group.

"If I may ask where is the barracks?" Thunder spoke next.

"Back door leads to the bunks, just set your stuff down on a bunk that hasnt been taken yet. You'll know." Golden Blade nodded his head and walked towards the back and opened another door that lead to the barracks of Bad Company. Imeadietly he found a clean and pressed bunk. he placed his bag down on it and headed back into the room. The rest of them were talking about something, but it wasnt long before he figured out what it was.

"Hey come on boss, the worst she could say is no." Sprickket said while nudging Thunder.

"Yeah seriously boss, I know you can do it on hearts and hooves day. Leave her a note or something." Rolling Rock chimed in. "Alright, alright. Enough I'll do it." He said with a frown spreading across his face. "YES!" They said and returned back to the lounge chairs that were in the room. Golden Blade sat down in one and got himself situated.

                           It wasnt before long that a scroll poofed in mid air infront of Thunder Hoof.

"Men, grab you're gear we're going to see the princess!" Thunder yelled as the rest of them ran into the barracks and came out again adorned in their respective golden armor.

New Gear, New Weapons, But still the Same Ponies

New Gear, New Weapons, But still the Same Ponies

                         All four members of Bad Company trotted down the white hallways. They stopped infront of the throne room doors. Thunder Hoof took a breath before using his magic to open the doors. Celestia smiled at the liutenant, but after looking at the rest of bravo company she frowned slightly. Thunder bowed and the others did accordingly after him.

"Princess." Thunder said as he stood back up.

"Bravo Company I have a few 'expeirimental' devices that I'd like for you to try out in the feild." Thunder still looked strait at the solar princess, while the others loked at each other with worried expressions.

"Um... What kind of devices are we talking about princess?" asked Sprickket. Celestia didnt respond but rather levitated a large wooden crate out to infront of the group. She opened it and the 'expierimental devices' tumbled out onto the throne room's floor.

"These Bravo company are you're new armor and uniforms, and your new form of a spear. Thunder Hoof picked up the solid black case that had his name and rank printed in white with his magic and opened it. Inside was a vest that had three different shades of green in a sqaure pattern. He pulled it out and placed it to the side. Next he pulled out an ovaled shapped hat that had the same color and pattern scheme that the vest did. Thunder Hoof took of his helmet; revealing his dusty white coat. He placed the hat on. He then pulled out a thin jacket that had his rank pinned to either sides of the collar. He slipped out of his bulky armor and placed the jacket on. On the sleeves were two armor plates that matched the rest of the equipment. He placed on the vest and secured the straps. He looked back inside the box and found a pair of orange sunglasses and placed those on as well.

"Damn this feels a hell ton better than the bulky armor," Thunder exclaimed. "Go ahed and get your stuff." He motioned for the rest of his sqaud to pick out their new equipment.

                       Golden Blade opened his case and found the exact same things that Thunder Hoof had found. But instead of a hat, he got a weird looking helmet that had orange goggles on it. He placed on his gear and then placed the green helmet on his almost white blue coat. He tied down the strap that was on his helmet. Rolling rock tapped the side of his helemt.

"Hey can you hear me?" Asked Rolling Rock in a joking manner. He was already in his new uniform and had a plain green beenie on his choca brown coat.

"Yeah I can hear you." replied Golden Blade. Golden Blade looked over at Spricket who was having trouble getting his helmet on. Thunder hoof used his magic and picked up the backwards helmet and placed it on correctly on Sprickket's green coat.

                         "Now Bravo company here are you're new tools that you'll be using." Celestia pulled out another wooden crate and placed it infront of them. It opened revealing slightly different black cases. They each took their own respective case and took out the most strangest of devices. Golden Blade though was already familiar with it and popped in a magizine and chambered a round. He stood strait up on his hind legs and aimed down his sights. He stood back down and looked back inside the case. He pulled out an acog scope and laser sight and placed them accordingly where they are meant to be. He checked the grenade launcher at the bottom. While he was doing this, the others watched him with awe struck expressions. They snapped out of it and did they're best to mimick Golden Blade. Both Thunder Hoof and Rolling Rock had the exact same weapons. While they tried to stand and aim down their sights, Sprickkets rubbed his head with his hoof.

"Uh, hey Golden Blade you know how to use this one?" asked Sprickkets, still looking down at his hulking weapon. Golden placed his gun down and trotted over to Sprickket and sat next to him. Quickly Golden placed a large round magizine into the bigger but similar gun that the others had.

"Okay you see here, when ever you load a magizine into this port here," He said pointing at the area with his hoof. "You slide it in and you want to hear a click. Once you hear that you pull back the action." He said turning the gun to show Sprickkets.

                           "Hey Golden how in the hell do you know how to do that?" Asked Rolling Rock. Golden Stood up and looked at the Staff sergeant.

"Its reallly the reason why I was transfered to Bravo Company." Golden said with a sheepish smile. Celestia stepped forward into the group of gaurd ponies.

"And that is why I want you to get familiar with them before you use them in the field. But that will have to wait till later, I must show you you're transporting system that our scientists have enginered." Celestia started to walk out of the throne room and the four of them followed close behind.

                             Blackened walls surrounded Sethered and his sqaud of changlings as they marched to their queen's throne. They entered and bowed respectivley to their leader.

"Rise my subjects, you have demonstrated great honor and I award you with the most efective weapons that Equestria has and will ever see!" Chrysallis exclaimed with a evil smile creeping up her snout. The changlings infront of her stomped their hooves on the ground twice. Black boxes came into the room that were pushed by changling servants. The boxes were opened and revealed grey armor and oddly shapped poles that had attachments to them.

"You wil learn how to use these before we rise and take over Equestria!" The changelings stomped their hooves once more. The servants adorned the changlings that were recieving this great honour.