Friendship is Diamonds

by TheFlyingWelshman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy
Length: 2208

Diamonds, and gemstones, and sapphires, and rubies and emeralds, and amethyst, and opals, and topaz...

Diamonds, and gemstones, and sapphires, and rubies and emeralds, and amethyst, and opals, and topaz, and amber, and apatite, and aquamarine, and citrine, and garnet, and hematite, and lapis lazuli, and peridot, and turquoise. These are the things that Rarity loves, and she'll do anything to keep then… anything.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-16 08:20:01 UTC

A Friendly Tea Party

Google Docs

It was an interesting occasion that brought Twilight to the Carrousel Boutique. Spike had somehow managed to find a female dragon, and he was bringing her home. Twilight needed to appear as intimidating as possible to scare her off, so she needed a dress that would do that. Dragons were pretty dumb so pretty much anything would do. She absolutely could not have someone steal away her most diligent worker. The owl was nice, but Spike also doubled as a mail service, and she was not going to lose that. While she hated to admit it, the only person that would be able to make the dress in time was her “friend” Rarity. She always hated to visit, and today was no exception, but she really needed the dress as soon as possible. As she strolled up to the massive, overly ornate, pink and blue eyesore, she took a deep breath.

“Okay, Twilight, just get in and out as soon as possible, that’s the plan.”

She tentatively opened the door and peeked inside. No sooner had she put one hoof in the door, that she heard that shrill overly formal tone assault her.

“Ah, Twilight! What a pleasant surprise. Whatever could you need from me on this lovely afternoon? After all you are such a gifted unicorn, I can’t imagine there is anything that I could do better than you?”

Twilight winced. This is how all of their conversations went at this point, Rarity would make passive aggressive remarks, and act so damn pleased with herself, since she knew that Twilight needed something from her. She stepped inside the boutique's grand front room. It had enormous ceilings, which twilight considered to be a waste of space. The inside had the same terrible color scheme, and had equally obnoxious architecture.

“Listen Rarity, I know that our relationship isn’t perfect, but I need your-“

“Help, you need my help darling. Oh what a pleasant surprise, I am so very happy to be of service to you.” As she finished her sentence, Rarity’s lips curled up into the most aggravating grin Twilight had ever seen. She had to use every fiber of her being just to stop herself from punching through time and space, forcing her to witness the very day of her death, and then bring her back again, so she would be forced to live in agony knowing exactly when and how she would die—and she would have to live with that feeling for the rest of her life. Twilight would revel in seeing her… wait no, she still needed her, she’d do that to her some other time, now she had to focus on the dress.

“Cut the crap, I need you to make me a dress and fast.” Rarity stopped grinning and began to take on a more bored expression.

“Fine, I was growing tired with that act anyway. Anything that you want me be focus on, colors, shape, or purpose?”

“No nothing that fancy, just make it look… intimidating, oh yeah, also no gemstones.” Rarity visible twitched. Normally Twilight would be concerned, but since it was Rarity she really couldn't give a damn.

“You don’t want any gemstones?” Twilight sighed in frustration.

“Yes, no gemstones, is it really that difficult for you?”

“No, no, it’s fine, it’s just… well none.”

“Yes! No gemstones, just make the dress by the time I get back, or I’ll have my sister in-law throw you in the dungeons or something, shit I don’t know.”

“Okay… I’ll have it done soon, probably.”

“What was tha-“

“Nothing, nothing, I’ll have it done in a few days, just come back then” Twilight was slightly off-put by all the weirdness, but as stated before she could care less about Rarity.

“Whatever, I’ll see you then I guess, good bye”

“Au dieu”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing”

Screw Rarity

* * *

A few days had passed since Twilight had first gone to see Rarity, but it didn’t feel nearly that long. She always hated going here. Her only consolation was that this would probably be a quick visit, just get the dress and get the hell out. She once again strode up to the boutique. Why the hell had Rarity designed the place like that, it just looked really dumb. I know she was going for the whole theme thing, but it looked more like a carnival attraction than a place of high fashion. Whatever the case, Twilight stepped inside.

“Hello, Rarity? I came to pick up my dress.” Twilight looked around and was a little surprised at what she saw; the boutique was in a mess. Didn’t Rarity have OCD or something? She stepped further into the boutique and saw Rarity standing on the other side of a doorway, with what looked to be a mannequin with a sheet over it behind her.

“Twilight, it’s so good to see you!” Rarity seemed to be a little too cheery. For some odd reason, Twilight couldn’t shake the idea that Rarity really was glad to see her. She quickly laughed it off however. Yeah, like that would happen.

“Alright, whatever, is the dress done?” Rarity shifted her gaze over to the sheet and then back to Twilight.

“Well, of course darling. As soon as you gave me your request, I had to start work immediately!” Now this was just getting creepy. Twilight hadn’t noticed before but Rarity seemed to have been slowly inching her way towards her, and was now within a foot of her.

“Okay then… how about we look at the dress you made, and we’ll both admire how nice it looks. Then after we’re done we’ll both go our separate ways and interact as little as possible.” Rarity seemed to actually be displeased by this. She was actually frowning. Rarity—never—frowns, ever, like honestly, the closest she’ll get is a fake pouty face that she uses to get stallions to… anyway, it was weird.

“Well alright Twilight, but only if you promise to visit more often, I feel we’ve drifted apart as friends.” Twilight, just stared at Rarity incredulously as she took the sheet off the mannequin with her magic. Underneath was a very elegant and purple gown. Twilight could hate Rarity as much as the physical laws of the universe would allow, but she had to admit, Rarity made a damn fine dress. The dress was primarily a light purple, which flowed down for most of the dress. It was fairly simple except for a dark purple stripe that went horizontally below the midsection, which was adorned with precious gemst-

“Rarity, why the hell, are there gemstones on this dress? I specifically asked that there be no gemstones on it.” Rarity seemed visibly hurt, trying to backpedal to defend herself.

“Well when you said you didn’t want any, I assumed you didn’t literally mean that there should be no gems on the dress.”

Twilight let out a long sigh.

“When I said I didn’t want any, I meant that there should be no gemstones on the dress, whatsoever, in any fashion; not even the little ones that make the dress sparkle. Since you already did most of it, I can just remove them myself and go from there.” Twilight began to make a move towards the dress.

“DON’T TOUCH IT!” The sudden outburst made Twilight jump a bit.

“ha, I mean I couldn’t let my dear friend do that by herself. Just let me take care of it for you.”

“Fine, I really don’t care that much. Just have it done soon.”

“Oh don’t worry darling, it’ll be done before you know it.”

Twilight muttered “Somehow I doubt that…”

* * *

It had been an entire month since Twilight had last seen Rarity. She didn’t even actually need the dress anymore. Turns out all she had to do to intimidate spikes girlfriend was to use magic to levitate her around a bit. She ran out of the house crying after that—dragons are really, really dumb. To be honest they would practically be invalids by pony standards

Anyway, Rarity hadn’t even left her house in that entire period of time. Being the last one to see Rarity made her look very suspicious, so to clear her name she was obligated to at least make sure she was still alive in there. If she was dead she would just let the police handle it. She was sure that Celestia wouldn't let her go to jail for a crime she didn’t commit…probably. Well ok she would probably make sure that Twilight had to go to jail, but Twilight didn’t want to think about it, especially if Rarity was still alive in there, so moving on.

Twilight stepped up to the door and let it crack open. Hopefully the body would be lying in plain sight and she wouldn’t have to search very hard. As she stepped inside she noticed that all of the windows has been painted black, there was also a red door that had been painted black for some reason, but that seemed irrelevant. There seemed to be a light coming from one of the back rooms. Hesitating slightly Twilight inched forward into the darkness. Most of the studio was in complete darkness and she had difficulty making her way through all the fabric and mannequins strewn about the floor.

It was eerily quiet in the boutique. The only sound that she could her was the droning beat of her own heart. She swallowed; there was no way anything bad could have happened, this was all just some silly game. She would find Rarity and get the heck out of here.

“Rarity! Are you here? I came for the dress.” She could hear a noise come from the door in the back.

“Is that you Rarity?”

“Come here Twilight, I’ve made something for you.” Against her better judgment, Twilight continued forward until she reached the door. She took a deep breath and stepped inside. Inside she could see Rarity standing next to a massive object covered by an enormous sheet. Rarity was a complete mess. She looked as though she hadn’t showered--ever--and her make-up was running down her face. As Twilight was drawn in, Rarity began to speak.

“I think I’ve made just what you wanted.” Rarity gave out a poisonous laugh and threw off the sheet with her magic. Twilight braced herself as she gazed upon what lie beneath. The sheet quickly revealed what was beneath the sheet, and Twilight stood in awe at what was before her.

Well ok, mostly she was just confused.

“Rarity, what the hell is this?!”

Underneath the sheet had been Rarity’s “masterpiece”, her best work ever. In other words it was a bunch of gemstones seemingly glued together into the shape of a decently sized boulder. Actually wait, that really is glue, seriously what is wrong with her. Does she honestly think this looks good?

“Let me get this straight, I tell you that I don’t want gemstones on my dress, so you make me a dress that consists only of gemstones. I don’t even want to know where you got all of these jewels; like, I know you can pretty much paw at the ground and find precious gems, but this is just ridiculous. How am I even supposed to wear that?”

“What do you mean wear it? Oh right you wanted a dress didn’t you. Well why didn’t you just say so, I’ll have it made as quickly as I can. So where do you want the gems on it?”

It was over and Twilight knew it, but she still had to try.

“Why do you even put gems on dresses, they look awful; most of the time the colors don’t even match. It’s like you just decided that since it’s expensive, it’s elegant. Weapons grade uranium is expensive, but you don’t see people putting them on clothing, and for a pretty damn good reason. “

“You know what, you’re right. I don’t think I’ll put gems on my dresses anymore. I can’t even remember why I was so attached to the things.”

“Yes, so you finally see why it looks so bad?”

“That being said, you still need to pay for the gems that I used in this dress.” Twilight couldn’t believe her ears.

“What did you just say?”

“Well I am running a business here, and I can’t just give out all these gems for no apparent reason. I have standards; anyway, here is your bill.” She proceeded to float a small piece of paper over to Twilight. As soon as she saw it, Twilight nearly fainted.

“How do you expect me to come up with this much money?”

“Oh I’m sure the library is worth that much and that crown thing of yours is worth quite a bit as well.”

“The element of magic?! I can’t just pawn off one of the most powerful items in all of Equestria.”

“Well you should have thought about it before you decided you wanted to have such an extravagant dress made.”

Twilight had lost; there was no talking sense into her anymore—welp, time to initiate her backup plan.

I’m sure we could always find another element of generosity.