Chapters I wake up in my comfortable canopy bed, staring at the elaborate walls: golden curls snaking across the ivory marble. Another long day of work ahead of me. I get out of my bed, slipping my regular royal slippers on and trotted over to my vanity. My hair is a mess. Not that I care, but I have to be “royal” material, so I brush my hair into its usual straight, unknotted self, slightly curling the bottom. I swiftly brush some mascara across my eyelashes.
I never understood why people put makeup on. It only upsets people. You don’t wear enough make up, you’re lazy. You wear too much make up, you’re a whore. Thats just how life works. Why are we this way? Why are we so quick to judge? It didn’t matter to me much when I was just another pony in Ponyville, but now that I’m a princess, now that I’m royalty, I have to look amazing or people would judge, I can’t afford to not wear makeup.
The door creaks open and my mentor, Princess Celestia, peeks in.
“Twilight. You’re friends came to see you.”
I smile brightly as my friends trot in and run to me.
“We missed you so much!” Rainbow Dash says. She flaps her wings weakly. It’s scaring me, because it means she was getting older.
“How are you, darling?” Rarity says.
“Oh, I’m wonderful! Being a princess is just amazing!” I lie. Being a princess is horrible. Everyone just kissing your ass because they’re afraid that you’ll banish them if they don’t. Will they ever learn?
After we all settle down, I notice their faces become less cheerful, and more dark. I wonder what was wrong, but then it hits me. Pinkie Pie isn’t here.
“Uhm... where’s Pinkie?” I ask, but I know the answer.
The group stares at each other for a moment, then seem to come to a silent agreement.
Fluttershy sighs. “We came to tell you that... she’s... in the hospital. She went on another sweets binge, and her diabetes got worse. She’s in critical condition.”
I feel my heart start to beat fast, and it seems like the world is closing in on me. I knew that my friends would die someday and I would eventually have to live without them, but it all just seemed surreal, like a sick dream. But now it was happening, and I feel the need to run away. From what, I don’t know. I just want to run. To run from this horrible nightmare that started the day I was turned into an alicorn. I want my life back.
After a moment of silence, and Celestia speaks.
“Twilight... I can take your royal duties while you go back to Ponyville, if you’d like...”
Still shocked, I stutter, “Y-yeah, th-that would be nice...”
“D-does Spike know yet?” I ask.
“No, we haven’t told him yet. Unless, of course, you want to tell him yourself.” Fluttershy says.
“Yeah, I think I will...”
After a few more seconds of silence, Rainbow clears her throat.
“Well, here’s your train tickets for tomorrow morning,” she says, handing me two tickets to Ponyville. “We’ll go, so you can pack...”
The other ponies hug me again, say goodbye, and leave.
Leave me wishing for a miracle.
I hear a knock on my door as I pack my clothes into my bag. I trot over to the door, but on my way, I trip on one of my suitcases and bang my head on the vanity.
“Agh!” I yelp.
The door bursts open, and Spike comes running to me.
“Are you okay?!” he says worriedly, taking my head in his lap and brushing the bangs away from a large bruise on my head.
“I’m fine, I’m fine...” I say, picking myself up.
Spike looked around.
“What’s with all the suitcases?” he asks.
I wince at the thought.
“Uhm, we’re going to Ponyville. Pinkie is, uh...”
“Her diabetes...?” he asks.
“Y...ye...” I try to get out the word, but I suddenly feel lightheaded. The world is spinning, and I feel as if I’m standing and lying down at the same time. Before I can fall, Spike catches me and lowers me slowly onto the ground.
“You need to lay down, Twilight. You look terribly pale.” He carries me to the bed as my vision starts to steady. “I’ll do the rest of the packing, you rest your head.”
He kisses me lightly, and starts to pack. He has grown alot since I became a princess. He’s become much taller and stronger, and much more attractive. Dear lord, he was attractive. I feel like the luckiest pony in all of Equestria to be married to him.
“What time does the train leave?” he asks.
“6am.”
“Damn!” he says, closing the last suitcase and climbing into bed next to me. “Could it have been any earlier?”
I giggled, scooting forward and resting my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.
“It’s going to be okay.” he whispers. “She’ll live.”
I look up at him, and he places his hand on my face.
“I love you.” I say.
He leans in and kisses me. The kiss is slow and intimate. He pulls me closer more, and I wrap my forelegs around his neck.
Pulling back, he says, “I love you too. Goodnight.” He gives me another quick kiss and closes his eyes, letting his head fall back onto the feathered pillow. I put my head on his chest and let his steady breathing lull me into sleep.
I wake up to my loud, annoying alarm clock. It scares me, and I accidently kick my leg, hitting Spike right in the crotch.
“AGH!” he yelps, falling out of the bed, his hands going straight to his crotch in pain. “Twilight, calm down!”
“Sorry!” I say, helping him up. I look at the clock. 5:30am.
“We’ve got 30 minutes, we should start getting ready.”
Spike groaned. “You will never understand how much being kicked in the balls hurts for a guy...”
“Get ready.” I say, trotting over to the vanity to go through my usual makeup routine. Usually, Spike would be at work by the time I got up, but now he wasn’t so I guess he decided this was his chance to do something stupid and cheesy.
He placed his hands on my waist and spun me around into his embrace, causing me to smear my lipstick across my cheek.
“Spike!” I yelp, tensing up and trying to pull away but he only pulled me closer.
“Come one, Twi, we’ve got 30 minutes, and we don’t even have to dress!” he says, laughing. “Have a little fun.”
I relax. “Fine.”
He smiles, and then our lips meet. I wrap my forearms around his neck, and he wraps his arms around my waist. My hooves drop to his chest. Dear lord, could he be anymore muscular? I can’t get enough of his amazing body.
I hear the door creak open, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Princess Luna standing awkwardly at the door. I step back quickly, my eyes darting to the floor. Spike looks at me weirdly, then looks behind him.
“Oops...” he whispers.
“Uhm... I was just making sure you guys were awake...” Luna says. “But I guess you are so... um... 15 minutes. Yeah.”
She looks down and walks out the door.
Spike and I stare at the ground for another few seconds.
“I should probably wash up the lipstick...” I say.
“Imagine what was going through her head when she saw that lipstick on your face...”
I giggled. He started laughing too, and we burst into a fit of laughter. Somehow, I ended up in his arms. We stood there for a minute or so, no words or kisses, just enjoying the feeling of each other. I pulled away and walked over to my vanity, starting to wash the lipstick off. Spike stands beside me, and places his lips on my neck.
“You don’t really have to wear makeup.” he mumbles into my skin. It sends shivers down my spine, feeling the vibration of his voice and his warm breath against my neck.
“I kind of do. I have to be ‘royal material’ for everyone else.”
“Come on, Twilight,” he says, slowing trailing kisses up to my jawline. “You’re thinking way too hard about this.”
I giggle, tilting my head towards him, but he keeps going. He goes up to my ear and whispers, “You’re beautiful just the way you are.”
I close my eyes and giggle, whispering, “Goddamnit, Spike. Stop it.”
He chuckles, but doesn’t pull his face away from me. He goes back down to my jaw and slowly makes his way across my jawline until he reaches my lips. We kiss again, but it is less fiery as the last. It is sweet and intimate.
The door opened again, this time with all of my friends there to pick me up.
“Goddamnit!” I yell.
Fluttershy winced. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I say, angrily pushing Spike away, a little too hard. He falls to the ground.
“TWILIGHT. How many times are you going to hurt me today?!” Spike yelps.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” I say, helping him up.
“Are you going to fight or come with us?” Rainbow says impatiently.
Spike and I walk over the group and we all go out into the vast hallways of the castle. Spike goes ahead to talk to Shining Armor, whilst Rarity falls back to talk to me.
“So. I see you and Spike have gotten a lot... closer.” she says, winking. “How close?”
I gave her a look and said, “We haven’t gone that far yet.”
“‘Yet.’” she quotes.
“Rarity.” I warn.
She laughs. “Oh, I’m just teasing you, darling.”
She goes ahead to talk to Fluttershy, leaving me alone to my thoughts.
I remember why I am going to Ponyville today and suddenly feel woozy. My friend might die. It was going to be the first of a chain leading up to me being totally alone. I couldn’t take it. Why did I have to live for eternity?
It seemed like a miracle that I even got out of bed this morning. I wished that I could die. It scared me that even suicide wasn’t even an option for me.
But I have to carry on, hoping that someday, this eternity of pain and sorrow will end.
As I walk out of the train, I see the familiar townhouses of Ponyville. In the distance, I see the green leaves of the library.
I feel Spike’s arms slip onto my shoulders, hugging me closely.
“We’re back.” he says softly.
“Home...” I whisper under my breath.
“Well!” Shining Armor says. “We better get going to the hospital.”
Upon hearing this, my mood drops drastically. My shoulders droop, and when my hair falls in front of my eyes, I don’t move to sweep it away.
“It’ll be okay, Twi. She’ll be okay.” Spike says, moving my hair from my eyes. They sting as I think of my future, think of the ones I love and care for dying. Someday, I will meet new people to love, but they will only grow old and wither away, leaving me lonely again.
Spike turns my head to face him, and wipes a tear from my cheek.
“Twilight. What’s wrong?” he asks.
Even he will die.
“Nothing.” I say, plastering a fake smile on my face. It takes all my strength just to do this. I shrug his arms off my shoulders and turn to Shining. “Let’s go.
As we approach Pinkie’s room, I notice the nurse ponies rushing around. Something is going on.
I run to Pinkie’s room, hearing her heart meter beeping fast. It seems to be getting faster.
“Pinkie Pie!” I yelp, stumbling to her bedside.
“Twi...” she says weakly. “I’m... so glad... you here...”
“Pinkie...” I take her hoof in mine as a tear rolls down my cheek. “You can’t die.”
She wheezed. “I guess it’s just my time... It was going to come eventually...”
I try to get out another word, but choke up. So I just continue to sob, my friends standing by my side, silently crying along with me.
After a few seconds, Pinkie speaks again.
“Twilight...?” she asks. I nod. “Can you sing me that song?”
I smile weakly. “Of course.”
I know what song she is talking about. It is her favorite song, for a long time. Surprisingly, her favorite song isn’t a random party song. It is slow, sad and sweet.
Instead of singing from beginning, I start at her favorite, knowing she didn’t have much time.
“All things you can’t control,” I sing, my voice wavering. “should never destroy the love that one holds. I found a place... I found a place... Oh, I found a place... where we belong.”
Pinkie smiled, closing her eyes. “Thank you, Twilight...”
Her body went limp, the life draining from her body, along with a part of me. I pull her hoof to my face and cry openly into her skin. Spike places his hand on my shoulder.
“You said everything would be okay...” I said, lifting my head. Spike stayed silent.
It had started. Pinkie was only the first in a string of deaths leading to my being alone for eternity.
I decide to stay a few nights in my old library house until the funeral. I don’t bother looking at my old books or unpacking my bags. I just crash on the bed and lay there, trying to sleep but just staring at the ceiling. Spike doesn’t say anything. There isn’t much to say anyway. We just lay together in awkward silence.
“Why?” I ask after awhile.
“What?” Spike says.
“I mean, why do I have to live forever, and my friends can’t?” I say, my voice cracking in emotion. “I know I should be proud of being a princess, and living forever is great... but forever is a long time. The amount of things to experience are endless, but... not all those things are good. I have to watch the ones I love wither and die out, and an entire lifetime for a regular pony is just like 5 seconds for me. It’s scares me.”
“Yeah... but dragon’s live for thousands of years, so you’ve got plenty of time with me.” he says, smiling and tickling my stomach.
I giggle.
“You know, theres no reason for anyone to interrupt us this time.” he whispers suggestively. My cheeks feel hot.
“Are you sure now is really a great time for this?” I say, biting my lip.
He kisses my neck and mumbles, “It’s not the best...”
“N-no,” I say, pushing him back. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Spike looks slightly disappointed, but he understands. I wasn’t ready. He gives me a quick kiss.
“I love you.” I say, giving his a smile as thanks.
“I love you, too, Twi. Goodnight.” He snuggled up close to me and closed his eyes.
I haven’t slept all night. The closest I’ve gotten is midway between consciousness and unconsciousness, where I would be able to sense everything around me, but also be in the midst of a terrible nightmare. Nightmares of my friends deaths, whatever they might be. Natural causes? Accident? Murder?
I can’t bare this anymore. Am I going insane? It sure feels like I am. This was only one death. I imagine how Celestia and Luna feel, having to watch thousands of people die in the blink of an eye, and in a second blink, they’re reduced to dust and bones. Having to watch entire empires fall in a flash. I didn’t want to go through that pain.
I notice the sky outside the window has turned from black to a mix of purple and orange as Celestia’s sun rose high and mighty above Equestria. My eyes start to droop, my mind feels fuzzy, and I finally give in to sleep.
When I awake, Spike is still with me, stroking my hair.
“Wha... what time is it?” I ask.
He chuckles. “2pm.”
I sit up straight. I’ve never stayed up this late. This was going to mess up my sleep schedule.
“There’s the old Twilight.” he says with a smile. “Come on, lay down and relax. We’re on vacation! I’ll go get a book.”
I lie back, and he shuffles downstairs, coming back a fe minutes later with the first book that led me to finding Nightmare Moon so many years ago.
“Remember this?” he asked. I smiled in response, nostalgia filling my heart. He lies down next to me and turns to the page with the legend of Nightmare moon. We read it through and laugh about how young and stupid we were back then.
Suddenly theres a bang on my window, and I turn my head to see Rainbow Dash smashing through the window. Glass sprays everywhere, and luckily, Spike covers us with the blanket before any can hit us. When he lowers the blanket, what I see before me is terribly disturbing.
Rainbow’s leg is bent at a disturbing angle, the bone nearly popping out of her skin. Her wing is also bent, and there are clumps of feathers missing all over the the other. She has cuts oozing blood all over her body, and there is a large piece of glass in her temple.
I scream.
"Rainbow!" I yell, getting out of the bed and running to her immobile body. Blood is gushing from the wound on the side of her head and a pool of the red liquid is starting to form on the wooden floors.
"Spike, get an ambulance!"
Spike, still shocked, stumbles out of bed and runs out the front door. I try my best to dress my dearest friends wounds, using fabric from the dresses I brought to Ponyville. But I am not sure I can do well enough to save her.
A few minutes later, I hear the sirens of the ambulance, hoping desperately that Rainbow Dash will survive. The cloth I used to reduce the bleeding is soaked.
Spike rushes in with 5 paramedics, and they get to work right away. They remove the dress fabric from the wound on her head, place clean bandages around the wound, and slowly pull out the large piece of glass
They cover the wound immediately after it is removed completely, but not before I see a gaping hole of flesh and a little bit of her skull. I wince, feeling my bowels start to rise up to my throat. I run to the bathroom and vomit, trying to clear the image from my mind.
I lay on the bathroom floor, not even trying to will myself to get up. I keep seeing it in my head: her leg bent completely frontwards, the joint nearly popping out of the back of her knee. Her wing, angled upwards at the end, almost like the wing of an airplane, and the other with clumps of feathers missing, replaced by red scabs. And the worst, the large wound on the side of her forehead, almost the diameter of a young filly's hoof.
I gag, and purge, trying to get the next round of vomiting over with. But it doesn't come. I am forced to sit there, feeling like my stomach was being twisted, as if somepony was reaching into my gut and trying to wring the undigested food from my stomach.
After what seems like ages, Spike walks into the bathroom and picks me up, starting to carry me to my bed. I don't bother responding. I just let him carry my somewhat lifeless body to my comfortable, dark blue sheets. I notice that it is dark outside. I had been lying there on the cold tiles for hours. I didn't care. Why should I care? I wished I could stay there forever. Not like I had anything better to do. I had the rest of eternity. Why couldn't someone just leave me lying in that bathroom until the entire world is reduced to ashes?
The next morning, Spike shakes me awake. The expression on his face is solemn, and he is holding a letter in his hand. He hands it to me.
Dearest Spike and Twilight Sparkle,
We regret to inform you that your patient, Rainbow Dash, has passed away.
I drop the letter, not even bothering to read any further.
"Twilight..." Spike says, laying a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
I expect myself to burst into tears, to start yelling at the top of my lungs, but my eyes stay dry, staring blankly into space, and not a sound escapes from my parched and cracked lips. As if Pinkie's death hadn't been enough. A building anger and rage starts boiling in my blood.
"Fuck!" I scream, lifting my hoof to bang it on the bed, but I smack Spike right in the face. A spark flys when my hoof connects with his scales, and a magical force sends him flying sideways, hitting the side table.
"Ack!" he yelps as he tumbles to the ground. Blue sparks rocket through his limbs for a second, then dissapear.
"Spike!" I say, running to his side. "I'm so sorry!"
He starts to pick himself up, but stops midway, staring at my horn.
"What?" I ask.
"I thought... I thought I saw..." he continues to stare at my horn, squinting as if trying to see something he couldn't before. But he shakes his head. "Nothing. It was just my imagination." He gets up and sits down on the bed, rubbing his head and scrunching his face slightly in pain.
"What did you see?" I demand.
"I saw... like, a dark purple and green... aura type thing. I feel like I've seen it before..."
My mind flashes back to the Crystal Empire, to Celestia showing me a dark type of magic. A magic controlled by fear and hatred.
Maybe I was going insane.
I trot at a fast pace through a forest- the Everfree, I think. I don’t know what I am doing here, or how I got here. The eerie silence pokes at every fiber of me, almost as if it is trying to claw me back further and further into the darkness of the trees. Shadows lurk, dancing across the ground as the branches sway softly in the night breeze, obscuring the moon from sight. The pitch black that lay beyond me beckons me, luring me further. I continue to walk, slowing my trot until I couldn’t hear the leafs crack underhoof.
A twig snaps, making me jump. It sounded like a gunshot that seemed to echo through the maze of trees. I stop walking, and don’t hear anything else, and assume it was myself. I raise a hoof to take another step, just as another snap rockets through the darkness. I turn on my hooves, coming face to face with Rainbow Dash.
But this isn’t Rainbow. It is a sick, distorted, mutilated version of the cyan mare. Her coat is covered with dry, crusty blood. Each movement she makes causes a faint crunching sound as dark red flakes float to the green grass. Her neck is twisted and snapped to the side, her head twitching slightly. She has the large head wound on her temple, bits of her skull lodged into the fleshy red inside of the gaping hole.
I try to scream, but the sound gets lodged into my throat, and I feel like I cannot breath.
“Why...” she utters, her voice scratchy and quiet. “... must... you... be... the... one... with... eternity... to... spend?”
Her voice sends shivers down my spine, the drawl of her words echoing and bouncing around in my skull. I start to back away slowly, her menacing eyes tearing me to shreds. But there was another look in her eye... sadness? fear?
“You... left us... to be... a princess...” she says. She coughs, a sputtering, wet but scratchy sound coming from her throat. Blood spatters on my face, the warm, thick liquid clinging to my coat. “Un... loyal...”
“Rainbow dash, I-”
“YOU LEFT US!” she shrieks. Her eyes turn completely black as she pounces, foam dripping from her mouth. I scream, trying to use my magic to protect myself, but nothing comes. She bit me in the shoulder, her teeth digging into my skin and causes blood to gush uncontrollably from the wound. “UNLOYAL!”
A burst of green and purple blasted her back off of me. It surrounded me, healing my wound and lifting me from the ground.
“I am your leader, and you will obey me!” I say, my voice sounding as if another one of me was talking along with me. I don’t know why I said this. But the words just came from my mouth as if they weren’t mine. “I am the Element of Magic, and all will obey ME!”
I look down at Rainbow. She isn’t a mess of gore anymore, but her normal self. She looks at me, terrified, and I want badly to comfort her, but I can’t control myself. It is as if another person is controlling me, or another power. My mind is racing, my heart beat feeling as if it were trying to beat my brain to the finish line. I feel a build up of magic in my horn, and with a flash, a beam of light is shoots towards Rainbow.
She screams as if her body were being torn to pieces. The light engulfs her, but I am still able to see her writhe in pain. Blood starts to pour from every opening it can as if her organs were liquefied. She shrieks in pain, her eyes rolling back in her head as blood runs down her face like tears. I try to stop, I try desperately to gain control of my mind, but the magic is uncontrollable.
“Twilight!” I hear. My vision starts to blur. Everything goes black, and when I come back, I am laying in my bed with Spike shaking me. “Twilight, wake up!”
My eyes open, and he sighs. “Oh, you’re awake. Finally. You were kicking and screaming.”
I wrap my forelegs around his neck and cry into his shoulder, and eventually, we end up with him sitting with my head in his lap, stroking my dark purple hair has I convulse with sobs.
“Shh...” he says softly, kissing my forehead. “Everything will be okay.”
I look up, my vision blurred by the tears that continue to form and stream down my face. “How could you say something like that? Nothing’s going to be okay! I have no idea how Celestia deals with this, seeing everyone just die right before her eyes! Everyone she’s ever loved! I knew from the moment I became a princess that I’d have to go through this, but not this soon...”
Spike looks down, averting my angry glare, not saying a word. I push him away aggressively when he tries to pull me into a hug, giving him a dirty look before I stumble down the wooden stairs.
"I'm going for a walk." I say, opening the door with my magic, my mind swimming with predictions of my future, thousands of years from now, and eventually, I find myself at Sweet Apple Acres.
I hear a thump of hooves meeting the rough bark of an apple tree, and turn my head to see a tired Applejack carrying a basket of apples.
"Applejack?" she looks up at me, surprised.
"What are you doin' awake, sugarcube?" she asks. It's comforting to hear the sweet accent in her voice.
"Uhm, bad dream. I decided to take a walk, to uh, clear my mind." I stutter. "What are you doing awake?"
"Ah like to do work 'round the farm when things like this happen. Helps clear mah mind, too." she says, kicking another tree, causing the bright red apples to rain into the baskets that surround the tree.
SQUEEK
"Aw, that ol' rusted hook is squeekier than a filly with a rubber duck." Applejack walks over to the barn, and I follow her. She looks around. "Where did that damned thing go?"
I step backwards, looking around for it. As I do so, I trip on a rope that ties around my ankle and pulls me up high.
"Twi-" I hear a sickening thud and a splatter of liquid on the barn floor. I start to be pulled back down by something, and when I stop, I am level with Applejack. She's dangling around on the hook, which was embedded into her neck. Her hooves flail and she looks at me with a look of desperation in her eyes, and then, they go glossy and lifeless. Her body stops shaking and just... hangs there. The hook had cut a large gash in the side of her throat, and her neck was bent sideways.
I start flailing, and somehow manage to free my hoof from the rope. I fall down on a bail of hay, hearing the snap of Apple's neck as her head collided with the ceiling. She slips off the hook, landing with a thud on the wood floors.
I jump to my hooves, backing away slowly from the body. My eyes feel like they might just pop out of my head, and my vision starts to distort. I close my eyes for a few seconds, and when I open them again, Applejack is on her hooves. She stands in a charging stance, her eyes looking at me menacingly. I would run, but I feel like my hooves are glued to the ground, my muscles refusing to do what my mind told them.
I blink, and when I open my eyes again, she’s closer. I can see the gash clearly now, and I feel was if I might just vomit right then and there, but I can’t do anything. She jumps at me, just as Rainbow did, and I scream, closing my eyes and placing my hooves in front of my face.
When I open my eyes again, nothing is there. Applejack’s body is lying where it was before. I hear the thundering of hooves coming near me, and i start to get to my feet to hide.
“Applejack!” I hear. It was Big Mac. He runs into the barn, seeing me standing there, shocked.
“Twilight...?” Then he notices the body behind me. “Did you...?!”
“N-no!” I say. “Of course not!”
He trots over to the lifeless body of the orange mare, standing over her as a tear drops from his eye. I feel my stomach heave again, and this time I don’t hold in. I throw up on the floor, falling to the ground as my vision goes blurry. I hear Mac say something, but I can’t tell what he said. And with that, my vision went black, leaving me in darkness.