I'm Not Inclined to Resign to Maturity
Do you remember your first Van Halen concert? Maybe the first time you saw Rush live and they played your favorite song, Tom Sawyer? You do? Well, I certainly don’t. This is because I’ve never been to one. Maybe this fact is because I didn’t work hard enough at this goal and really want it. But I know someone who did. Their name was Buzz McNabb.
Buzz worked at the Santa Barbara Police Department as a cop. He loved his job, especially these two guys who worked there. Their names were Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster. The former claimed to be a psychic detective, while the latter was Shawn’s best friend. Buzz didn’t think that Shawn was really psychic, but he could have fooled anyone. Even the pompous Carlton Lasseter had to admit that Shawn was really good at solving crimes. What Buzz really didn’t get was the detective’s obsession with pineapples.
Buzz started his Friday as usual, with a cup of Carmel Hot Chocolate and Equestria Daily on his iPad. Even though he did not admit it, he was, in fact, a brony. What was really funny is that nobody noticed his gun holster had The Great and Powerful Trixie on it.
When McNabb was finished enjoying his pony news and hot beverage, he locked the doors and headed for work. In his Bugatti Veyron, he sped off like a bullet. The cheetah that was his car raced toward the police station. He believed this million-dollar investment was worth every penny, because he hadn’t been late since the day he bought it. He also could go as fast as he wanted, because he was a cop. He met Lassie in the parking lot with his Lexus LFA. Juliette O’Hara was in the next parking space over with her Audi. Henry, Shawn’s father who also worked at the department, drove up in his Porsche Carrera.
“Well, I guess this is California for you.” Buzz said to himself. Except his assumption was corrected when Shawn and Gus drove up in their blue Toyota. Most of the department nicknamed it “The Blueberry.” The six of them acknowledged each other with salutations as they entered the building.
The chief ran up to the group, frantic! She stated that Skrillex had just passed out on stage last night at the Nokia Theatre. The only evidence that they have is a plate of Chicken and Waffles from IHOP and a strange device that buzzed green when a button was pressed.
Just then, Gibby from iCarly came in and yelled “GIBBAY!!!!!” and ran out. Everybody seemed very confused when Princess Celestia appeared in the room with a burst of colorful light. Buzz did a fanboy squeal yelling “Princess Celestia!!” And got down on one knee. “Rise Buzz McNabb.” Said the ruler of Equestria. “You have a mission. And you may chose six companions to accompany you.”
“Easy!” Buzz exclaimed, “I choose, Shawn, Gus, Lassie, Juliette, Henry, and…”
In that moment the TARDIS materialized in the middle of the hall and the Doctor popped out and said, “I have nothing to do right now, so I will join you.”
“Well that settles it then.” Princess Celestia said. “Skrillex cannot exist in this world and Equestria at the same time. The famous DJ P0N-3 used her unicorn magic to summon the Dubstep artist. So he is a pony and therefore passed out wherever he was on Earth.”
“What will we get if we do this?” asked Gus.
“You are a wise stallion, Burton Guster. If you do this, I will take you to a Rush concert.”
Shawn interrupted, “That stinks! I want-“
“Just wait, my pupil, I forgot to say that you also get a lifetime supply of pineapples.” Replied the Princess of the Sun.
Shawn Spencer had a child’s glow of light in his eyes. He could just visualize himself with as many pineapples as his mind could bear. “Then what are we waiting here for? Let’s go!!”
They were all turned into ponies, unicorns, and pegasi and decided to set out for adventure.
“Wow! I’m a unicorn!” said Henry
“Sweet! I’m a Pegasus!” said Gus
“Super! I’m a pony!!!!!!” yelled Carlton
Everypony gave Lasseter a raised eyebrow. They headed off to find Skrillex. The group was in the Everfree Forest hiking to the top of Draconoquis Mountain. Shawn was complaining the whole time about how he hadn’t stood up this much in a day since the midnight release of Halo 3. Just then, the super popular YouTube star TOBUSCUS came out from the trees as a green Pegasus.
“How did you get here Toby Turner?” asked Buzz.
“I have come for the elements of Darkness and Redness and Whiteness,” said Tobuscus.
“You mean the Elements of Harmony.” Said Griffin, Toby’s dog in real life, as he came out of the trees as well. He was a majestic alicorn. His majesty even competed with that of the great Princess Celestia.
After they had all met and planned for what they should do, they headed up to the summit of the Mountain. Once they got there, Princess Celestia appeared, stopping their tracks immediately.
“What is the meaning of all this?” Tobuscus asked.
“You don’t need to know. Since you will be dead in ten seconds flat.” Replied Princess Celestia.
Just then Gibby from iCarly appeared as a unicorn. He ran straight into the group, screaming, “I am the Dovakiin!!!!”
All of a sudden, they were all in Japan with their bodies back to normal again.
“Well, now what Griffin?” asked Toby. “You wanna go play some video games?
Even though dogs can’t usually talk, Griffin agreed and they all took a plane to Toby’s house and played Forza Motorsport 4 until Saturday night. All of them are now Facebook friends.
The End :D
Not really!
Meanwhile, Skrillex rose out of his unconciousness and was flabbergasted at the sight of so much partying. He was on stage with a white mare. The unicorn had some epic shades on as well as a fantastic hairdo.
"Hey Sonny, let me show you how to really party!" she shouted.
