Friendship is Macho

The Macho Man Randy Savage held the microphone firmly against his lips, not wishing Hogan or any of his so called 'Hulkamaniacs' to mishear a single word of his announcement. He'd effectively hijacked the camera from his interviewer, Gene Okerlund, who was trying desperately to steal back the microphone. In a weeks time he would be facing off against Hulk Hogan, the event he'd been waiting all season for; he wanted to let him know that he was 'hogeward-bound' and that the madness express would be stopping in his station for one night, and one night only.

"...and I'm looking at you Jack Tunney! I've seen the future with my Macho Mysticism and it does not bode well for the Hulkster, ooh no... Tell the ref to be standing by with a big box of kleenexes because they're going to need it for all the little 'Hulkamaniacs' to blow their noses next Friday night WHEN I BEAT HIM! OH YEAH."

Okerlund snatched back the mic from an absorbed Macho Man.

"So I take it their is some animosity behind the scenes with you and Mr. Hulk Hogan? How can we expect that to manifest in the fight next week? Do you have a game plan?"

The Macho Man removed his oversized sunglasses and wagged a tensed finger at the camera before him. He wasn't going to risk saying anything that might deny him his revenge against the Hulk.

"Mean Gene, a good magician NEVER REVEALS HIS SECRETS, ohh yeah! Safe to say, there is going to be a lot of magic in the ring next week. It's going to be an undeniably volatile situation, because, by the end of the night, Hulk Hogan will disappear...disappear. Make sure to keep the video scopes a rollin', yeah, because you're not going to believe your eyes. It will happen so fast that you can't even talk about it."

"You heard it here first! The Macho Man is slated to take down Hulk Hogan in a match for the ages. One more question if I may, Randy?

Randy flared his nostrils and grabbed the microphone from Gene, gripping it tightly in his behemoth hands. He tightened his vice grip around the microphone until his knuckles became white with stress. After a few short moments the microphone busted in his hand, leaving bits of electric components all over the floor.

"NO MORE QUESTIONS!! ALAKAZAM!"

That said, the Macho Man ran off towards his dressing room, leaving Okerlund to pick up the shards of his once professional-grade microphone. There was a lot of perpetration that he and Elizabeth needed to get in order for the big night: what jewels would look most striking in his crown when he was to be coronated, what kind of speech he would deliver over Hogan's masticated remains, etc.

As Randy neared his dressing room his giddy stride slowed to a lumbering amble. He wasn't worried about the bout. There wasn't any reason to be. In his eyes, and provably everyone else's, save the most ardent Hulkamaniacs, he was the greatest wrestler who had ever lived, and he was living right now. Still, he couldn't shake this nagging, persistent pounding pain in his temples. It was as if someone was trying to call out to him. Nothing a warm bubble bath and a Macho Manwich garnished with Slim Jim's couldn't handle, he reckoned.

Macho Man snatched the door to his dressing room from the hinges and settled down in his bath for a night of relaxation. He hadn't trained for a fight in weeks, something his manager and wife, Elizabeth, never tired if bringing up. As he soaked in the tub, Elizabeth made a point of nagging to the Macho Man about his (nonexistent) training and dietary habits.

"Randy, I think you really ought to start preparing for your fight with Hogan. He'll be a tough customer; he beat you last time you fought--"

"He didn't beat me." Randy interjected, holding aloft a finger. "I let him win so that my victory next week would be all the more glorious, YEAH!"

He pointed to a clump of big bubbles floating before him in the bathtub, which he methodically popped whilst naming his greatest rivals.

"That big one,that's the Giant Gonzalez-

Pop.

"Those three? That's the Nature Boy, Jake the Snake, and Sting."

Pop. Pop. Pop.

"That weird one setting off to the side alone can be the Undertaker. Man, talk about a freak. Only demon coming for him is L-U-C-I-F-E-R. What's that spell backwards, Elizabeth?"

He didn't wait for her to answer before continuing.

"That's right! The Macho Man, ooh yeah."

Pop.

He pointed to an especially lopsided and small bubble, a pathetic and insignificant thing.

"...that ugly,deformed one? Yeah, that's Hulk Hogan, and the little ones fused to it are his 'Hulkamaniacs'."

He brought his hulking fist into the air and poised it to smite the little bubbles. Leveling his hand for the perfect blow, Macho Man struck the water with such force that water went flying out of the tub, spattering against the wall across the room.

"That's what will happen next Friday night, Elizabeth, only that bubble probably would've put up a better fight than Hogan."

Elizabeth gave the Macho Man an incredulous look and left him be. He obviously had the who's thing figured out and it wasn't any business of hers to doubt the Macho Man's stratagem. She could only pray that the wrestling gods were on his side. Hulk would destroy the Macho Man if they weren't.

With Elizabeth gone, Randy settled into his bath and closed his eyes. He would need his beauty rest for the events after Friday's match, so he needed as much sleep as possible. He was finding his soak to be slightly more therapeutic than it usually did; he felt a tingling sensation all over his body. It was good to be the Macho King.

Rainbow Dash meandered through the winding hedge maze of the royal palace's garden, brooding over the question of her abrupt summonings by the princess. Why had she sent for her specifically to accompany her? Twilight was her protégée; Rainbow Dash had barely ever spoken to the princess, and they certainly weren't on a first name basis. To the princess, Dash was still just the Element of Loyalty, and to her the princess was still Her Majesty. Whatever the occasion might be, Celestia was awaiting her in the center of the maze; hopefully, the meeting would be one of praise and not condemnation, not that Rainbow Dash had anything to hide, honest. She rounded one last corner before finally standing in the midst of the princess, kneeling before her.

"Ah! Loyalty, it is excellent to see you. You must be wondering why I've brought you here. Allow me to assuage your fears; you've been summoned because, like Magic, I have deemed you worthy of the next phase of your training. As you are well aware, I've recently freed Discord, believing that he might be reformed. It seems it was a foolish thing to do, for he has returned to his former disharmonious behavior."

"Well, duh," Rainbow Dash interjected,"what did you expect would happen if you freed him?! Sorry for yelling princess, but I didn't see the sense in it then and I still don't. I'm surprised things haven't been any worse than they currently-"

Dash stopped herself short of tirade. She had forgotten who she was talking to for a moment, and now her face was flushed with embarrassment. She wondered if chewing out a monarch was a reprehensible offense, gauging the princess's stoic visage for any sign of understated rage. Instead, her face softened into a slight smile.

"You're entirely correct, Loyalty. I had a lapse in judgement, one that has put the entire kingdom at risk once again. I did however have reason to believe that Discord was in possession of something very precious, something that could only be gained through
the attainment of his trust and cooperation. I was wrong there as well; you see, I believed Discord to be in possession of a seventh Element of Harmony, the Element of Tenacity."

"Why the hay would Discord have something like that? Maybe if there was an Element of Lunacy!"

"As I said, I had my reasons to suspect that he was its wielder, reasons that will be come evident to you in short time."

Celestia moved aside just a bit and revealed a perfectly spherical, alabaster white stone with a black circle planted on its surface, bobbing weightlessly in the breeze. She ushered Rainbow Dash forth to look at it, to which she complied. She had no idea what it was; magical artifacts were more Twilight Egghead's forte.

"Uh, princess?"

Rainbow Dash studied the artifact for a brief moment but hadn't the slightest clue to its significance.

"What is it?"

"You don't know then? Take a guess, Loyalty."

"Is it somepony's glass eye? I swear, I got nothing."

The princess appeared pleasantly surprised at Rainbow Dash's answer, a surprise given how snide it sounded to her immediately after she said it. She waited for Celestia to continue her explanation with as much decorum as she could muster, mentally lambasting herself for the offhandedness of her remark. She'd meant to act graciously, truly, but sarcasm came naturally to her; it really did look like a prosthetic eye though.

"Loyalty, my little ponies never cease to amaze me. This is, in fact, a sort of eye: it is an ancient Equestrian relic known as the Oculus. When you look at it you'll see nothing out of the ordinary, but in the hooves of a powerful alicorn it serves as a sort of nexus for communing with the different heavenly bodies. With it, I'm able to watch all the affairs that take place in Equestria's borders and beyond."

Rainbow Dash considered the implications of being able to watch everypony in Equestria at once; it was more than a little creepy. Still, if anypony ought to possess that sort of freedom, it was only right to be within Princess Celestia's domain. Was this the way by which Celestia was able to keep the peace for a millennia, the reason she was always able to represent the voice of reason? In the hands of less honest alicorn, this trinket could be used as the means to enslave the populace rather than keep the peace.

" As I said before, I believed Discord to be in the possession of this seventh element for two primary reasons: what I know of what he is now and what I knew of him before he was the manifestation of chaos dubbed Discord. However, I've discovered that I was mistaken through the use of the Oculus you see before you. The real wielder of Perseverance is the denizen of a different space far out of our reach, or he would be if our world was anything like h-...theirs."

Dash sat stone faced. She could tell the princess was being intentionally coy, but she didn't wish to risk causing an incident. She reckoned that she had already come way to close to being thrown out of the castle for comfort. Whatever the task the princess decided to hand down to her, Dash would consign herself to dutifully fulfill. The princess continued:

"I say this as a prelude to the task I intend to commend to you, which I will layout before you now. I'm going to use the Oculus to bring Tenacity to our plane. As the most tenacious of the existing elements, I'm tasking you with the duty of helping them to realize their duty. I must forewarn you; this job will be arduous. Tenacity, as far as I've noted, can be very overbearing. You must attempt to extend your friendship to Tenacity, otherwise they may never come to realize their destiny. The truth is, to reach their apex, Tenacity will need someone equally as determined to butt heads with."

Rainbow Dash sighed a bit. Did the princess, in so many words, just call her stubborn?

"I'll do it, even if it means I have to push myself to keep up with them."

"I'm glad to hear you say it, Loyalty. I'm going to reach out to him now. I'm certain that you will be able to empower them with the strength they will need to return harmony to Equestria."

That being said, Celestia lowered her head and her eyes burned white like a star. She began to chant in a tongue unknown to Rainbow Dash, and the earth seemed to quiver underneath every harsh consonant of her speech. Dash could only look on in awe as clouds of dust slowly took on a humanoid capacity, the particles in the air aligning to form the bones and sinew, muscles and flesh, of a creature unlike anything she had ever seen before.