Rainbow Dash carefully observed the two dimly lit figures creep their way across the courtyard by lantern light. She'd seen the two colts before, she swore it, but Dash couldn't place their names; she remembered enough to know they were bad news, but the fact that they managed to slip onto the castle grounds illegally after nightfall wasn't exactly leave a lot of interpretation as to the quality of their character. Whoever they were, they were taking a big risk by infiltrating the castle, especially while Discord was still at large; after all, these were uncertain times and a nighttime stroll through the Princess's fortress wouldn't be welcomed with fanfare.

To Dash's relief, Macho Man had been suspiciously quiet in the neighboring cell for the better half of two hours but even he had seemed to take notice of the intruders making their way across the lawn, if the slight rustling in his cell might be of any indication. Dash pressed her snout to the bars and stared down the two ponies now within speaking distance. As evidenced by their reciprocated stares, it seemed they had also taken notice of their multicolored maned onlooker.

"Say, you there, behind bars, have you seen a creature about yay high and yay wide? We saw a contingent of guards dragging some hapless, deformed creature to this compound and we'd very much like to get a closer look." The ponies donned a toothy and insincere grin that didn't fool Dash, not for a moment.

"Yeah, I've seen him, but what's it to you? You guys aren't supposed to be here..."

One of the ponies, a mustachioed one, stifled a laugh.

"That's rich! A jailbird like yourself means to chastise my brother and I for being in the wrong? We've done nothing wrong; we're simply here to sate our exotic interests. We saw the poor creature being paraded through the street like a common convict and it struck a chord in our heart's harps."

Dash was unmoved. These guys weren't fooling anypony, but she would indulge their curiosity if it might mean that she might be freed. "I know where he is but what do you intend to do with him?"

"Why, spring him, of course. We can't bear to see such a proud animal confined to such a dingy and drab cage; his wild heart beckons for the wild, surely."

"Who are you guys anyhow?I I know your faces but I can't place a name..."

The two ponies removed their hats and stood solemnly.

"I'm Fli-"

The other pony gave him a quick jab in the side with his elbow.

"I'm Slim and he's Slam, no relation to the infamous Flim-Flam brothers."

'Slam's' hoof collided with his snout. "Listen sister, we're Flim and Flam, the notorious apple cider salesmen, as well as animal lovers. We mean to free that beast, but we'll free you too if you'll play along and help us out here. Do we have a deal? I promise to uphold my end of the bargain if you simply tell me where I can find this thing."

"Ok, I'll tell you where he is but there are a couple of things you guys should know about him: he has a name, Macho Man or some crud like that-"

"OOH YEAH!" Randy's gravelly voice resonated throughout the prison at the sound of his name.

"-and he hates ponies. You're going to need some muscle to keep him in check because, frankly, he'd snap you guys in half. Luckily, I'm available for hire!"

Flim and Flam gave each other incredulous looks.

"Ok, we'll hire you on as our 'muscle' but where is the 'Nacho Man'? We should very much like to see that the gentle beast is unharmed-"

"I'm right here BABY, live and in technicolor, ooh yeah! Bust me out of here, pronto!"

"Well, Mrs. We-Didn't-Catch-Your-Name I believe the terms of your release were that you would make 'Nacho Man's' location known to us, but instead he acted on his own accord. We owe you nothing, it seems. As for you, Nacho, we will retrieve you from your binds shortly! My brother and I simply need to discuss how we should go about getting you out of that dingy cell. Ta-ta for now!"

"Hey!" Dash should have seen that the Flim-Flam brothers' betrayal coming from a mile away, but their brazenness shocked even her. If she ever got out of her cell, she'd make a note to track down those guys and give them a kick in the flank. "I can't believe this garbage!" She bucked the wall with her hind legs, landing a stern kick that caused the walls to buckle.

"Watch it little pony! The Macho Man Randy Savage is dodging debris in here, ooh yeah! "

"Heh, I hit it that hard, huh?! I might be the strongest mare in Equestria, probably the strongest living thing period..."

"MIGHT have been, but you're not! You didn't account for the variable of the Macho Man Randy Savage, OOH YEAH! I've slithered with the snakes, soared with the eagles-"

"Yeah, and trotted with the ponies, I get it. Whatever. Enjoy your freedom, Macho Man. I guess you're going to deprived of ever knowing what I can really do when I put my mind to it. I regret that I'll never get a chance to show you up."

The Macho Man remained silent for a while, but then spoke:

"I'm going to make you a primo offer baby, yeah! I don't much like you, but I won't leave you here to rot, ooh no...We'll go as a pair, right?! YEAH! If Slim Jim and Flim-fang want me they'll have to take you too, MY release on MY terms. That's Macho Mercy in action BABY!"

Dash's brow furrowed. Why would the Macho Man care if she was released or not?

"I'll let you out, yeah, and then I'll show you why I'm the greatest intercontinental heavyweight champion who ever lived, and I'm living right now!"

"Ok," Dash rolled her eyes a bit. "Thanks for the offer Macho Man but I don't exactly see how you are anymore dependable than those dinguses..."

"DON'T DOUBT THE SINCERITY OF MACHO MADNESS, OOH YEAH! I'm going to need you to help me find the Princess and return peace to the land, ooh yeah...I'll take my booty, return to the Federation, beat Hulk Hogan and claim the title of Macho King!"

Dash's eyes alit as she remembered the sole reason the Macho Man had been summoned in the first place. He was to defeat Discord like some kind of knight and she was to be his squire...lame. Still, it came as a shock to her that his loyalty still lay in the mission; she'd been too absorbed in her imprisonment to care. It would have almost been admirable if he wasn't a total dingbat.

"Those are some pretty thick walls, Flam. How do you suppose one would get around something like that?" Flim looked back over his shoulders at the prison as he and his brother convened in a particularly shadowy corner of the garden for an impromptu business meeting. The castle's fortifications were certainly much more daunting than the cheery facade would lead one to believe; it was a castle, after all, and its walls were the last line of defense between the incumbent ruler and whatever external forces threatened them.

"I don't suppose digging underneath them might be an option?"

"Nope." Flim shook his head. "I took the liberty of rooting around in the dirt while we were over there; I can guarantee you that wall runs clear underneath the ground. I don't believe I have the resolve to dig through that."

"Maybe through it?"

"How do you suppose we do that, dear brother? I'm not discounting your idea, but to break through that wall would require a significant amount of propulsive force."

Flam pointed a hoof at the key ring that hung about Flim's waistcoat. "We could use the SSCS6000 to push that wall clean down, I reckon. I could jury rig some sort of battering ram to the front-"

"NO! NO! NO!" Flim jumped down his brother's throat. "There is no way in Tartarus that I would consider letting you defile my baby in such a way. Do you know how many restless nights were spent assembling that thing, how many hours were spent fine tuning it?"

"I do! I did most of the heavy lifting, and what do you mean 'restless nights'? I haven't ever known you to stay up any later than midnight... Listen, I'm going to go grab the machine; give me the keys."

Flim plunged a hoof down in his shirt pocket and fished out the key, giving a little sigh of exasperation. "Don't mess it up too bad; I'm quite taken with it, you see?"

"Of course not, brother. If it gets ruined I don't expect you'll be any help in getting it back running. In other words, I'll be extremely cautious."

Flam went on his way to round up the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 which they had hidden outside the city limits; even the car had a certain kind of stigma attached to it, unfortunately. Flim melded into the dark courtyard and waited for his brother to return. It would be first light in only a couple of hours so if they were to have overstayed their welcome it may have proven disastrous. Hopefully Flam could handle pulling the car around, it didn't seem like that tough of a job...

The turning over of an engine made Dash's ears perk up. The Flim-Flam brothers had seemingly pushed their car into the compound under the cover of nightfall. The Royal Guard on duty that night must have been the most incompetent foal to have ever been employed in Celestia's service. Still, they'd have to act fast because the night was fast icing way to the down and soon Celestia herself would be walking the castle grounds.

"Stand back, Macho Man!" Flim was conducting his young brother, who was situated in the driver's seat of the car, to drive the lumbering piece of machinery into the wall. Colliding with the castle's facade, the cattle catcher acted as a sort of spear, forcefully displacing the bricks around it. In a matter of seconds, the imposing wall had given way to a revealing hole. "Jump in Nacho Man, there is no time to waste."

"I'll jump in a soon as you free Rainbow Dash, yeah!"

Flim stared at Macho Man as if he were a loon. "Are you crazy, man? Get in the bucking car! We can't afford to spring anymore convicts, I'm afraid. You're it, come on!" He motioned frantically at the car. "Well?! Be grateful and get the hay in!"

The Macho Man only shook his head. "I'm afraid not pony men, OH YEAH!' He removed his glasses and stared down the brothers. "If we're heading out, nobody is getting left behind. That's just the way its got to be. We're a two-man act, mhmm."

Spears and helmets could be seen protruding over the ramparts as groggy-eyed soldiers scurried to their posts. Flam's eyes became wide as saucers. "Buck it, Flim! I'm going to let the other one out too; I don't want to be stuck here arguing with this whatever-it-is when the guards get here." Flam pressed hard on the accelerator, giving the wheel a sharp turn.

The SSCS6000 poked a cow catcher sized hole in the building, just wide enough for a surprised Rainbow Dash to weasel out of. "Now, I hope there aren't any more damned convicts that need our help because I think I've had about as much prison breaking as I can stand. Get the hay in, both of you!"

Dash bounded for the backseat, her flitting wings propelling her forth. A contingent if guards were quickly gathering on the group and the Macho Man was stilling trying to break his cuffs. The Flim-Flam brothers stared on in distress, laying down on the horn to convey their disapproval.

Dash's eyes were alit like embers. She couldn't believe it; they were this close to escaping and Randy was going to cost them all their freedom.

"YOU CAN'T BREAK THOSE CUFFS!"

The Macho Man's face turned beet red as he pulled his wrists apart desperately, a bead of sweat swelling on his tensed brow. "D-DON'T TELL ME WHAT I C-CAN AND CAN'T DO!" He pulled tighter, the cuffs digging deep into his skin in a fit of resistance. He was surrounded now by Celestia's finest forces, not that it concerned him any. With one last grunt, the Macho Man wrenched his hands apart, his magical restraints exploding into stardust. Randy stood at the epicenter of a massive pulse of stray magical energy, the force of which sent his would be assailants flying back.

"YEAH," He lifted his throbbing bicep in to the air for all to see, "THAT'S ONE TIGHT THING BABY!" The Macho Man twiddled his fingers frantically and giddily made his way for the vehicle; they had a road to hit!

"I...I stand corrected." Dash bowed her head. "That WAS awesome! How the hay did you manage to do that?!" Celestia's magic was supposedly the strongest force in Equestria but the Macho Man had broken her seal.He didn't make if look easy, but it was damned impressive.

"Are you really surprised? Macho Madness is on a roll and it can't be stopped, OH YEAH!"

Celestia looked down on the scene unfolding in her courtyard from the observatory. Two unscrupulous ponies had just mounted the first prison break in nearly three millennia. Normally she would have taken objection to someone, quite literally, busting down her walls at five in the morning, but this was important. She observed with bated breath as a contingency of guardsmen concentrated on the intruders, surrounding the Macho Man. The speed with which her guards had assembled to put down the threat was admirable, but troubling.

Her colts seemed poised to capture the Macho Man and his accomplices. That couldn't happen. Celestia released the spell holding Randy's restraints in place, synching her action carefully with his struggling. The magic energy pooled at his fists and burst forth like an explosion, pushing her guards aside and giving the intruders ample time to escape.

As the intruders peeled out of her courtyard, Celestia turned her gaze to meet the guard captain's.

"Would you have us pursue them, m'lady?"

"No,no! Everything is fine." The Princess sounded unsure. This wasn't how she had intended the Macho Man and Rainbow Dash to escape; it was premature. Those two ponies had forced her hand though. They were not variables in the original plan. "Be vigilant; those two ponies worry me. I can't have Tenacity's mind anywhere other than the mission and I believe they may present a problem. We shall see for now."

The Princess had meant for Rainbow Dash and Macho Man to pool their collective strength to escape from her dungeon, but those colts had interfered. As Celestia considered the events of the night, her mind was filled with consternation. She should have been able to anticipate all of this with the Oculus, but this is not what she had seen revealed to her. This would require further investigation.

Author's Note

Let me say this foremost: I apologize if this chapter seems a bit 'fast paced' or rushed; I wrote it in a sort of frenzy and I'll explain why. Before this chapter, I only had a vague sense of where I wanted to take this story and I was afraid that I had written myself into a corner. This chapter was, basically, my attempt at damage control. I really want to jump into the meat of the story and I was afraid that I might have reached an impasse. I also felt that the Macho Man's limited repertoire of limited banter might be wearing thin by this point, and rest assured, I'll write the character to be less stagnant than he has been. If you have enjoyed the story up to this point, thank you very much for your support and I very much hope you will continue to enjoy the story as it develops. In other news-- I noticed none of you have been donating to my offshore accounts! Do you think I write these mediocre stories for you because I'm seeking to entertain you?! My baby needs a new pair of shoes!