Friendship is Macho

Hulk Hogan paced about his trailer anxiously. The Macho Man Randy Savage had not been seen for several days, a fact that troubled him greatly. The last time Hogan had spoken one on one with the Macho Man he'd seen a certain glint in his eyes, even through his visor shades. It was a look of lust: lust for his title, lust for his fame, and lust for his belt, but, most of all, it was the penetrating gaze of a champion. Once they had been allies under The Mega Powers and Hogan had imparted his knowledge to the up- and-comer. He'd once considered him a son, but, like King Laius, he was aware of the Macho Man's impending treachery. He would not knowingly foster the son who would slay him and tout his title; he would not raise Oedipus.

Hogan halted his ambling, hearing a forceful knocking on the door of his trailer. He lumbered over to the door and open it, revealing the face of Gene Okerlund. He wasn't going to do any interviews and he wanted to let ol' Geno know that straight up. Hogan didn't have any time for a cutesy-tootsy promo; he would need all his focus devoted to winning his psychological bout with the Macho Man. He could hold his own, but, on a mental level, the Macho Man was unmatched, the metaphysical Sun Tzu with all the flamboyance of Patton.

"Listen brother, I'm not doing any interviews right now, so no questions."

Gene impulsively pulled his microphone to his chest at the mention of 'no questions'. Call him gun-shy but Okerlund really didn't want a repeat of his little interview with the Macho Man; he'd paid out of his own pockets to replace the microphone on the behalf of the World Wrestling Federation. Seeing that Hogan wasn't making any sudden movement to writhe the equipment from his hand, he relaxed his posture a bit.

"Hulk," he said, wrapping the mic's cord about its shaft, "I didn't come to interview you actually; I came to see if you had any idea where the Macho Man has gone off-"

Hulk leaned his massive back against the door frame, tossing up a finger to interject.

"Is that what this is about then? Geno, I'm not Randy's keeper. I'm sorry man, but you'll need somebody else to tell you where your golden boy is. I'm psyching myself up for a match right now." Hogan pointed over to a glass of egg yolks to drive home his point. "I don't know about the 'Macho Man', but I'm prepping for this fight. I know what's at stake here brother."

Gene shook his head. "Sorry, Hulk. I just figured if anyone knew where the Macho Man had gone off to, it would have been you."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Geno, but when you do find him tell him this: I've been training. He might can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk? If Randy wants to dethrone me, he'll have to remember that even though battles are mediated by the mind, the muscle is the arbitrator brother. That's just a little piece of advice to the chip from the old block..."

Not waiting for Okerlund's rebuttal, Hogan turned on his heel and shut the door. The Hulk wasn't about to write off the Macho Man; he was out there, somewhere, honing his skills for the fight of his career. He had everything to gain, and Hogan had everything to lose. He made his way over to the small kitchen, returning with a pitcher and a carton of eggs.

"Well, time to get jacked, brother."

Celestia, flanked by a procession of her total guard, briskly made her way towards her own personal section of the library housed in the sprawling western wing of the palace. What had been an otherwise uneventful trip to gather reference materials concerning the Oculus had become a heap more foreboding with the appearance of a swarm of dark grey nimbuses which had settled over Canterlot. As Princess, she had not requested that the pegasi organize a downpour over Cantlerlot; this was the work of an outside force.

"Shining Armour," she said, snapping back from the troubling thoughts which had preoccupied her weary mind,"scramble a pegasi unit to dispel the clouds overhead. I'm not accustomed to seeing my city besieged by such ominous heralds."

"Yes, m'lady." The Guard Captain departed from her company.

Celestia had a feeling that there would be no ridding of Canterlot of these dark clouds, but failure should serve only to affirm her suspicion that supernatural and mystical forces were at play. She suspected Discord naturally, he was at large after all, but the source of the Oculus' inaccurate visions was a mystery to even her. She hurriedly trotted towards the large,ornate double doors which constituted the entrance to her private sanctum, the guards at attention holding the door open for their beloved sovereign. With a nod of her head, the same doors were sealed behind her as she made her way down a torchlit hallway.

The ever dutiful but aging librarian looked up from her tomes and treatises to acknowledge the Princess. The old, white-maned mare had faithfully guarded the empires most sensitive documents for over fifty years and showed every day of it. It was a saddening thought, but she was getting a little too long in the tooth and would need to be replaced in due time. It would have been a cinch job for Celestia's most faithful student, guarding musty scrolls and books, or it would have been, had she not been destined for greater things.

"Good afternoon, Princess. What can I help you to find today?"

"Hello!" The Princess put on her gentlest face to address the old pony. "I need to see Starswirled's work concerning a certain magical artifact called only the Oculus."

The old mare pushed a pair of reading glasses onto the bridge of her snout and scoured over an ancient catalog of the inventory of the library, its bindings frayed in its extreme age. The mare found the scrolls easily, a fact accountable to the impeccable organization of the sanctum. Thank you Hoofy Decimal System.

"Follow me please, Princess." The mare lead her deep into the library to its oldest foundations, which had been constructed long before the unification of the three equine tribes. Standing before an old cherry bookcase filled with Starswirled's studies, the old mare gave a courteous but feeble bow before departing from Celestia's service. She studied the spines of the dusty, old books for a short while before her eyes were drawn to a grimoire entitled 'An Ocular Foray: Soothneighing for the Ancient Age'. Her lips curled into a smile as she levitated the book towards her.

Celestia's eyes darted quickly across the page, turning one page, then another. The self satisfied smile was soon deformed into a frown. The 'words' written on the page were not words at all, but crude scribblings depicting nothing of importance. One legible note was scrawled into periphery of every page: Did you really think it would be so easy? The notes had very obviously been tampered with, and she had enough foresight to tell her that Discord was the most likely culprit, that or a particularly irked enemy of all things eye-like.

It seemed that Celestia would have to do some homework of her own, no easy task considering the author of these particular studies. Starswirled the Bearded was the most gifted pony of his age, a real renaissance-equine. Luckily, the current age had also been gifted with some particularly exceptional stars, one that sparkled brighter than even Starswirled himself. Putting quill to parchment, the Princess addressed a letter:

My faithful student...