“Nope, you’re not getting in” I swear to god my friends dared me to get inside a bunker someone made. Just for the laughs since it’s the Mayans day.
“Please man! I don’t want to die!” Begging face initiated… Even though that only worked when I was 3
“No can do pal, now scram, its 11:54. I need to pack up” I walked back to two of my good friends… Eric and Ryan. Eric is stubborn, thinks he’s smart, and thinks he is greater than anyone. You would be amazed when you see his computer and his plans to dominate the world. He hates Bronies to the limit, yet I am excluded… Personally I think he hates bronies because most of society does. Ryan on the other hand is also stubborn, crazy, yet not as much as a jackass like, Eric. He accepts bronies. And I knew him since I was three. So I have a better reputation with him.
“How’d it go?” Eric asked with a grin
“Pretty damn sure you heard” The both chuckled and we noticed the time 11:56.
“Go to the bar? Watch the countdown” Bars in Arkansas amuse me sometimes, been living here the last 4 years of my life.
“It’s like 12 hours away, Ryan left his car and same with me” Eric… Whenever we put our faith in him it all goes downhill.
“Meh, just stand here I guess” After 3 minutes of walking instead of standing, we all stopped and looked at our watches.
“Betting you all 90 dollars this is all bullshit” I mumbled.
“Bet ya the same” Ryan mumbled. We stood for the last 5 seconds, I was now grinning up a storm.
“Annnndd Twelve o Clock suckers.” I laughed, then blinked. Everything was white. I stumbled ‘Is this what it’s like going to heaven? No way is this real.'
“Hello my Son” What... In gods name is that... “What in my name is what? The weird voice your ears are picking up or the suspicious whiteness around you. If you mean my voice then it is god. And since I feel sorrow for your race being ignited into flames and bursting I am here to give you an offer. It is of three choices... Millions of choices technically. You can either go where the Bible states, to heaven. Or Hell... For any reason you go to hell, you can always switch. Or. You can choose a world of your own. A game, an imagination in which you have dreamed of, or a world in which you are the god.”
I am amazed he actually thinks I am going to respond, I am in a white endless room, where god himself is giving me three choices...
“If I go, will I keep my memory of my past life”
“Past LIVES actually... You have reincarnated several hundred times when you signed up for the program back in “ye olden times” as some may call. But hey, what else can I say. Now I have 2 Billion people left to deal with and I have the urge to drop this whole thing and let everyone either go to where they belong without them choosing.”
Well... I have some very short seconds. I miss being young-ish. I love the show My Little Pony. I also hated being a pegasus OC since I knew I went for the perks and now I'd rather be an Earth Pony. And hell, I could move to Appaloosa for the hell of it because of my accent. Even though it shifts from southern, to English, to Scottish, Irish, German, and Russian. “Uh-ah-umm... Can I go to Equestria... The world with multi colored ponies and stuff... Yeah can I be sent down as my OC if he was a child... I do miss being young.” Please work
“Well... Death may quit his job because this is the... If I am correct 4,546,486 person to ask if they could be younger. SO many plans for all of your deaths. Each of them creative. Yours for example if you went to Minecraft Land would be death from lava three in game days in. And if you went into the world of Fallout you would die in 5 seconds... Literally, you will take one step forward and be blown up by a mine.” Oh my... “Enough Chit chat, as said many more people to go, tally ho and enjoy your new life, Redbark Sharphaven.” And it is now my official name... I saw the world forming around me... All cartoony... All... Oh hell no... DAMNIT GOD! Why am I in the Everfree forest, oh dear why? Did death set this up for me or something?! Do I die just like this. DO I DIE LIKE-
Five hours of running DEEPER into the everfree forest without knowing, Redbark dies. God laughs and says it was a joke, saying he should have been a Pegasus to escape. He sends him back just saying to watch out.
“.. and I swear if I get the choice to find the mortal version of god I will... Nevermind, I must now thank gods advice for telling me to go north...” And there it is, the place where the show takes place... Bucking Manehatten. Alright number one, I am a child... Or foal. Number two... I expect orphanages. And from being
forced to watch Annie, back in middle school, I am scared. Anyways, I suppose I am not the only brony here because a velvet mare with a bright smile walks out of the forest. And into a town in which she has no job, or home. And- OW! What just hit my head.
“To Redbark, I am tired of your complaining, Enjoy 5 bits.”
“Well thank you jupiter! (Jesus)” as I walked in the town, carriages were being pulled, and people- cough- PONIES were bustling around. I think I may be in the Commerce section... Being the little thief I am I could be a true orphan and steal... How about that elderly sleeping mare with-
OH GOD SHE'S BEATING ME WITH HER PURSE! Run for your lives, sweet heavenly god, celestia, someone, PLEASE help before I die!
“Ye' olde, whippershnapper! Come back 'ere with me' pretties!” Buck was she a pirate when she was younger. I only took 10 bits and she is killing me. Is this what death set up for me again, god mentioned something about a 24 hour time limit. And the sun is setting. Alright what can I use to hide in. Maybe something small like an ALLEYWAY “Buck you old hag I am out of here!” I turned left, not realizing the police are also now after me, and that the old hag lost me in the huge crowd. I turned into an alleyway. Homeless around me. And I think two are having se- ohhh... The shouts of the policemen... Ponies... Creatures... things, were growing louder, they're getting close and a dead end is approaching. There is a large gate, with a padlock, and a locked door which leads into a abandoned factory which looks like a horror house...
“We're trapping you in 'ere! Give up now kid and we’ll take you back home.” I jumped over the fence, the barely agile police ponies failed to jump over it before they started hitting the padlock with their batons. Now, we have a problem though. It was too dark to see but now I realize that it is a brick wall blocking the way.
“Aight kid games over” They grabbed me by the ear with their mouths and pulled me to their carriage “Where ya live kid. Be honest and tell a valid address.” I stuttered
“Guegh...”
“And now our job comes in. You have no family I presume?” I nodded, yes. “Then to the orphanage you go... We'll check you up and see if your a runaway. Name Please?”
“R-redbark Sharphaven” Buck me I never been arrested before, this is scary.
“Never heard of your name, I know EVERY single kid with a criminal record. This must be your first time then. Welcome to the Criminal Organization. We'll catch you.” The rest of the trip was silent. Unlike Annie, the Orphan Matron was kind and thoughtful. While I was sitting in a chair for 4 hours and the cops trying to find my records, they were surprised when their were 0 records at all. They kept asking for my real name until they brought a unicorn in who knew the lie detector spell. The magic said I was lying and so I decided to name say my real life name.
“Fine then, the name is William Ramsey. Born in- “ THINK DAMN YOU BRAIN “Appleloosa.”
“... He's clean. Odd name yet search it.” The unicorn confirmed me. And yet again they were surprised to find no records
“I don't understand, I graduated second top at my class. One point away from twilight. Either I forgot the spell or he somehow is bypassing it... Which is impossible because he is no Unicorn. Tell me who are you?”
“Well I- uhh... Would you believe me if I said I am actually 22 years old before my world blew up and now we are given the chance to live a different life?” Damn myself for letting that out
“Well we have every proof to confirm that, no records of birth or any mention of these two names. Even my magic cannot find you within the blood cells in which I am using... But that will be impossible because I am using EVERY POSSIBLE cell in the world, and hopefully Galaxy... So to answer your question... Yes, we may believe you.” Fuck what did I get myself into
“Well, that is true and don't tell anyone else please... I'd like to keep that a secret.”
“Hold up... Sir, what did you major in?” The Police pony asked
“Why me? I studied astronomy, and magic. And there is a planet that was just recently destroyed in which the native species called it, “Earth.” It shares similarities between us, like countries and towns. Prance to them is France. Manehatten is Manhatten which is an island in the city called “New York City” Las Pegasus, Las Vegas... Whatever. The Planet blew up just 4 hours ago and I have noticed unusual looking ponies and many new faces and so we have enough proof to at least get an idea... But first let me quiz him.” He walked over to me and stared me dead in the face “What is the star of Earth called to the native Species.”
“The sun”
“What year was it for them when the event took place”
“The year 2012”
“Who was the president of the United States at the time
“Barrack Obama. Ran for second Term as a democrat.”
“98x2= what number” I blinked.. And he looked my body over “He is Human, put him up in the orphanage, speak nothing of this Understand?” The Police nodded their heads and went into the next room
“Now then, welcome to Equestria,”
Chapter 2
Yolo
Alright first day at “Young Cares Orphanage for Colts.” It's basically like a university, you have the boys dorm and the girls dorm. And the roads in this part of town are like Savannah. Cobblestone Streets. Anyways, on the other side of the street is “Young Cares Orphanage for Fillies.” Why, oh why did they torture us colts like this. We are forced to sit in this dump with no fillies to look at and get dirty thoughts.
Anyways, I'd like to see how I'd last, first day right? Can't be that bad.
DAY 1
I am writing this to make this feel more dramatic, three colts are now bullying a small skinny gray nerd with glasses and brown hair. While the colts has blue coats. But each had different hair. I may be next, only time can save my red ass-
“Hey” I looked up scared as fuck. The blue buffed pony glaring down at me.
“Oh dear god... I am now royally bucked...” WHEN DID I EVER SAY BUCK... Oh wait...
“What? No, we aren't going to buck you,” Oh thank you jesus. “We are going pound you” … No Me Gusta.
DAY 1... 6 hours in at least
I eat at the table, the colt in charge of this building laid out some nice food. At least I get something good today. Beaten up by bullies, thrown into a garbage can. The Garbage pony found my unconscious body 5 seconds before he was about to throw me in the crusher. By my rights I will get back at the three. And-
“Hey!” The Blue colt glared at me. “Food” Buck... Me... Hard... In... My... Ass... Literally. But, I can just say no, after all the orphan matron is here.
DAY 6
THE MATRON DOESN'T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT WHAT BUCKING HAPPENS TO ME! I got bullied all week, and he just shrugs it off and live to laugh another day! If he doesn't give a shit then I am going to sneak into the girls dorm and attempt to get noticed.
Day 6... 5 Hours in.
Well... I now know for a fact that the two matrons don't give two flying bucks about what happens to their kids... The filly matron saw me... And shrugged... I then went on a rampage throwing the girls clothes about, but she didn't care until I went into her room and threw shit around... I am running away
“Sing the packing song! Singa, singa, sing the packing song, enjoy packing all your clothes! And get ready for the close, of... Your... Do___or!” And here comes the nerd I talked about on day 1.
“Whatcha doin” He examined and realized “You'sth not reawwy runnin' way?”
“I am.” I stood up and faced him. “When you see the three we do not speak of... Tell them these three words...” I stared at him, eyes dead in the center of his pupils. “Buck.... You....” Think of a third word “... Ass” I stepped back, and walked out of the building. Nailed it.
“Thank you god” I used the bits he gave me to buy train tickets to where? Ponyville. At least I will be educated there with a great teacher.
After a couple hours of waiting, the train arrived and a pony in a blue suit yelled out “ALL BOARD THE EXPRESS OF PONYVILLE!” I then see many people board... Betting the invisible person next to me 500$ that 1/3 of them are bronies or pegasisters.
On the train ride I met a brown pony with red hair... Damn we did not talk at all, only about 4 sentences she spoke. Said something about meeting a cousin or something. The ponyville countryside is pretty. You know... Pretty... And boring as hell. Because the red maned filly sat next to the damn window! I GET TO SEE BUCKING TWO HOMELESS PONIES HAVING SEX ON THE TRAIN IN THE LANE! Not Literally but... You would suspect that to happen.
“WE ARE NOW ARRIVING IN PONYVILLE!” The blue suited pony SCREAMED. Then went to the next room and screamed... And the next. Until the 6th room where we couldn't hear him... And by then we were at ponyville... Ahh... Nice peaceful...
“THATS HER!” OH BUCK SHE SCARED ME! All I heard was a voice like Appleblooms and- Oh dear... Buck me I am in equestria...
