Chapter Four: Eulogy

By Feather Scratch

Proof Read by Comet Burst, q97randomguy and mr jerrio

As the snow capped mountains of the Frozen North loomed in the distance, Artemis glared at the blurring train tracks before him. His eyes were heavy. He hadn’t slept since the night before his trip to Ponyville, and the fatigue of spending so long on the move was beginning to creep up. But he couldn’t stop. His mind was racing, and he needed to get to Transylmaneia as soon as possible, if, for no other reason, than to find closure.

Hooves was dead. It didn’t seem possible. A part of him was convinced this was all some elaborate hoax by the wily, old detective to get Artemis back by his side, working on another case. It felt like the kind of thing he’d do. But no, if this was another of his attention-grabbing stunts, he would have put in considerably more effort. He would have sent a full letter detailing some elaborate act of heroism and self-sacrifice or a sinister ransom note pieced together from newspaper clippings, not a cheap, painfully concise telegram.

He was dead. But the questions of how and why kept racing through Artemis mind. Did the old fool finally bite off more than he could chew, or was it just some dumb accident? He could have choked on a chunk of carrot for all Artemis knew. But if it was a random accident, why would the local guard have sent the telegram instead of the hospital?

He had questions, and he wasn’t going to leave Transylmaneia until he was satisfied with the answers.

~~~

Gus yawned as he unlocked the padlock on the makeshift door that had been erected around what had once been his ticket office. The dawn sun was barely cresting the horizon, and, save for the Night Watch making their last rounds, the town was still largely in the blissful throws of slumber. He took a deep breath of frosty air and let out a low, contented sigh. The night may belong to the Bat Ponies and the day to the Earth Ponies, but here, in this corner of the world, the twilight hours belonged only to Gus.

Or at least, they usually did.

Gus turned to the tracks and gave a few sharp sniffs. An unscheduled arrival was coming. He shook his head and hurried to complete his morning chores. It wouldn’t have killed them to call ahead.

Twenty minutes later, the train arrived. The dull, angular engine ground to a screeching halt, and the wheels had barely stopped turning when the engineer hopped out and proceeded at a brisk trot over to Gus. He looked irritable.

“Equestria Metro Train 221 B, making an unscheduled arrival.” Artemis voice cracked a little as he spoke. A cocktail of sadness, anger, and fatigue was swimming around in his head, diluting his patience, and he didn’t want to waste any more time on formalities than he had to.

Gus took the hint, biting back the reprimand he had been working on in his head, instead just wordlessly jotting down the information in his official ledger. He cleared his throat. “I need your name and purpose of visit.”

“Artemis Trotson. I was summoned by the local guard to identify a body.” Artemis rubbed the bridge of his nose. It didn’t feel right talking about Hooves like he was just another statistic. “He was a friend.”

Gus’ ears splayed as he made his notes. Finishing, he spat out the quill and cleared away the ledger. “Geez, I’m sorry to hear that, son. It wasn’t Dusk Thunder, was it?”

“Who?” Artemis looked back at the older stallion, cocking his head to one side.

“Young Dusk Thunder of the Night Watch.” Gus sighed and shook his head, gesturing to the wreckage of his ticket office. “We had a pretty nasty storm come through here a few days ago. Everypony who lives in these parts knows, in weather like that, you stay inside and batten down the hatches. But some dang fool tourist tried to make a break for this here station. I guess he figured he could outrun the storm or some such. Young Dusk Thunder went out after him, tried to bring him back inside, but...”

Gus closed his eyes and laid a hoof on the ticket belt, resting on the counter. “You see, the storm came on suddenly. We didn’t have time to store everything before we had to take cover. The guards say that when Dusk Thunder caught up to the tourist, the wind must have kicked up a loose crate. It knocked both of them clear through the front of this office. Dusk Thunder, poor colt, caught his head on this very ticket belt.” He patted the belt for emphasis. “Smashed my pocket watch so it’s stuck at five to midnight.” He looked down and shook his head. “At least they got an exact time of death.”

Artemis ran his eyes over the ticket belt, noticing the faint trails of lingering dried blood creeping out from between the hard-to-clean seams of the iron box’s sharpest edge. “Poor guy. What happened to the tourist?”

Gus scrunched up his nose and gave his head a weary shake. “As horrible a fate as it was, I think Dusk got off easy. One blow to the head, and he was out like a light. He probably didn’t even see it coming. The tourist, on the other hoof... Well, I couldn’t tell you exactly what happened. The guards aren’t too keen on disturbing folks with the grizzly details, but, let’s just say, the poor soul must have felt it.”

Artemis paled and felt the contents of his stomach make a spirited effort to join the conversation. “How many ponies died that night?” He managed to choke out.

“Just the two, thank Celestia. Folks here are too smart to die often, but when it happens, it hurts all of us.” Gus took a deep breath and forced a smile. “Anyways, you didn’t come all this way to listen to some old coot prattle on. The Watch House is right by the Town Hall. Just follow the road from the main gate straight ahead. You can’t miss it.”

Artemis nodded, muttered his thanks, and stalked off towards the slowly waking town. And so ends the illustrious career of the great Fetlock Hooves, genius amongst geniuses, stalwart enemy of crime and villainy Equestria over, a victim of a freak weather accident. Artemis snorted. Like heck that was how it ended.

~~~

As much as he wanted to hurry to the Watch House and get his grim business over with, Artemis couldn’t help but slow his pace to take in the sheer oddity of the town he was walking through. Transylmaneia seemed like the middle ground between a quiet, little village, like any other, and a shanty town. The misaligned rows of small houses and shops looked like they were pieced together with supplies only intended for half as many buildings, leaving the gaps to be filled in with whatever junk was lying around. There were walls made from cannibalised wagons, roof tiles made from carefully laid crockery, and he was sure the windows on one house were simply painted on.

The further into town he went, the less patchwork his surroundings became. The rows were neater, and the rather sombre-looking stone buildings were increasingly uniform, with only a few hasty patches to act as battle scars from the never-ending war against time and erosion.

At the very centre of town stood a tall, rectangular tower with narrow windows and a flat roof lined with battlements at regular intervals. Unlike the other buildings in town, the tower was clearly well-maintained. An intricately carved, wooden banner above the entrance proclaimed the tower as ‘Town Hall,’ and two large Earth Pony stallions in heavily worn, battle scarred iron armour stood at attention on either side, ready to defend their heart of government from any threat that may arise.

Artemis gave a soft whistle and shook his head. The guards looked like they had been through a dozen wars before breakfast and won. It seemed that life in the middle of nowhere, cut off from any immediate aid, made certain ponies hard as dragon scales.

An impact to his shoulder snapped him out of his musings and nearly made him lose his footing on the uneven cobbles. “Sorry,” his accidental assailant muttered before trotting off in the direction of the outer wall. Frowning, Artemis blinked after the hooded pony as he, or she, disappeared down a side street. His frown deepened to a scowl as he twisted a hoof in one ear. The pony’s voice had sounded... weird. It had an odd resonance that made it sound like several voices talking at once.

He gave his head a firm shake. He had been awake too long. Looking around at the nearby buildings, he tried to spot one that looked like it might be called home by ponies that could crush his skull with a verbal warning.

A few metres to the left of Town Hall stood a squat, granite building with barred windows and a heavy oak door that looked wide enough for three ponies to walk through, shoulder to shoulder, without touching the sides and strong enough to weather an attack by a rabid pack of timber wolves. That looked like the place.

Taking a moment to mentally prepare for what he would soon see, Artemis drew himself up to his full height and knocked as hard as he could on the dense wood of the Watch House door.

A minute passed. He could hear muffled voices from the other side of the door. Artemis raised his hoof again when the storm shutters behind one of the barred windows swung open, and a helmeted head popped into view. “Who goes there? State your business.”

Artemis reached inside the engineer’s cap he had neglected to remove and withdrew the telegram, holding it up for the guard to see. “My name’s Artemis Trotson. You sent for me.”

The shutters closed, and there was more indistinct dialogue. Artemis harrumphed and shoved the telegram back under his cap. He got the impression pony skills weren’t a prerequisite for guards in these parts. A minute later, the shutters flew open again, and the helmeted pony was back. “You here for the stiff?”

Artemis recoiled and sputtered, biting back a barbed reprimand. Instead, he squared his shoulders and growled through gritted teeth. “If, by that, you mean am I here to identify and retrieve the body of my friend, then yes.”

The guard narrowed his eyes, slowly and deliberately looking Artemis up and down. When he reached whatever conclusion he had been looking for, he nodded with a grunt, closed the shutters, and, after much scraping and rattling as locks were undone, dragged open the door. He stepped aside and waved his hoof for Artemis to enter.

“Sorry about the rude welcome.” The guard’s voice was a deep bass, the kind of sound with such force of presence that all other sounds seemed to disappear every time he spoke. “These parts are dangerous. Can’t be too careful when it comes to strangers.”

Artemis nodded in understanding. Security all over had been stepped up following the Changeling attack on Canterlot. In a small, isolated town like Transylmaneia, any new face was bound to be treated with suspicion.

The guard shut the heavy door with a grunt and jerked his head towards the far side of the building. He absentmindedly waved a hoof for the other guard on duty to stand down and lead the way through the bare, stone hall.

The inside of the guard house was entirely unremarkable. It had clearly been built for efficiency rather than aesthetics. If there was one word to describe it, it would be “solid”. Stone walls bore caged torch racks. office doors were of the same heavy oak as the front door, and inch thick, pig-iron bars ensured that even the most savage and unruly of prisoners stayed where they were put.

Artemis tried his best not to look at the cells, lest uncomfortable memories be dredged to the surface. He instead kept his eyes firmly fixed on the guard leading the way. The stallion was, frankly, massive. The only pony he had seen that was any taller was Princess Celestia herself, and even then, the stallion’s sheer muscle mass must have made him at least twice as heavy. Scars criss-crossed just about every inch of exposed flesh, giving his dull gray coat an uneven, patchwork look. His armour, unlike the plain iron of his colleagues’, showed lingering traces of bronze ornamentation. It may have been quite striking once upon a time, before life and duty put it through its paces.

“So, Captain, I didn’t catch your name.”

The guard captain glanced over his shoulder, cocking an eyebrow at Artemis. “How could you tell who I was?”

“Your sparkling personality,” Artemis quipped, rolling his eyes.

The captain smirked, giving a very low chuckle. “Name’s Captain Blossom. I’m head of the Day Watch. Captain Curare is head of the Night Watch. You just missed her.”

Artemis choked, trying with all his might to repress the laughter forcing its way to the surface. “Captain ‘Blossom?’ That’s a... unique name.”

Blossom snorted. “You got a problem with that?” Artemis flinched and shook his head fervently. “My folks wanted a filly, alright? They had already gotten all the stuff made special by the time I was born. Here abouts, there aren’t many places to trade in engraved cribs, so I became Blossom.”

Poor guy, thought Artemis. Still, a name like that would give a stallion something to prove. No wonder he looked so tough. He was wondering how many of the other guards had silly names when he noticed his breath start to mist before his eyes. They had come to a stop before a large, metal door.

“This is it.” Blossom pulled the door open and led the way inside. A wall of cold greeted them, and Artemis had to bite down on his tongue to keep his teeth from chattering. The walls of the morgue were filled, floor to ceiling, with deep shelves. Every other shelf housed a large block of cut ice, keeping the room at a constant freezing. The shelves devoid of ice contained retractable gurneys for those ponies unfortunate enough to come to an untimely end.

Blossom trotted over to the only occupied shelf and pulled out the gurney. A white sheet covered the still form. “You ready for this?” Artemis said nothing but set his jaw and gave a single, curt nod.

Blossom pulled back the sheet to reveal an aged Earth Pony Artemis knew all too well.

He closed his eyes and lowered his head with a sigh. “That’s him.” He looked up at the face of his mentor, scanning, hoping for any traces of trickery. He glanced behind the ears, looking for surgical scars. He checked the eyes for the ragged irises that would indicate magical tampering. He even combed through the mane, rubbing and sniffing for any traces of dyes. There had to be something, anything. There was nothing, nothing but the peacefully neutral expression of the recently dead. He rubbed his forehead and placed a hoof on Hooves’ shoulder. He let out a sound halfway between a sigh and a growl. “How did it happen?”

Blossom picked up the clipboard attached to the gurney and flicked through a few pages. “It says here: cause of death was ‘internal haemorrhaging due to a single laceration to the cardiovascular system.’ Basically means, he was skewered through the heart.

“Guy was a mess when we brought him in. Doc cleaned him up as best he could. Found a shard of glass eight inches long wedged between his ribs. Must have been dead in minutes.”

Artemis ran his eyes over every cut, bruise and swelling he could see. It seemed there wasn’t an inch of his old friend unmarred. He had everything from lacerations on his hooves to a large, vivid bruise on his neck.

Artemis’ gaze rested on the long, neatly stitched wound on Hooves chest. He leaned in for a closer look. “Captain, could I see that shard of glass?”

Blossom raised an eyebrow at the morbid request but shrugged and moved over to the desk in the corner of the room, returning a moment later with the jagged shrapnel in a clear plastic bag. Artemis took it and examined it carefully, glancing between it and the wound. After a few minutes of scrutiny, Artemis gave a noncommittal hum and set down the shard. “Captain, could I speak with the coroner?”

“Why? You find something?”

Artemis waved a hoof and did his best to give a reassuring smile. “No, no, nothing like that. I’d just like a few of the more technical details cleared up for me before I take him home. You know, for peace of mind.”

Blossom narrowed his eyes, glancing between Artemis, the shard, and the body, scanning for traces of deceit or anything he may have missed. When he couldn’t find any, he grunted. “Doc’s not here right now. He’s busy tending to another body. If you really want to see him, come back tonight. He’ll wrap up your friend for travel, and you can ask him all the questions you want.”

“This other body,” Artemis asked, frowning and tapping a hoof on his chin. “It wouldn’t be Dusk Thunder from the Night Watch, would it?”

Blossom’s eyes widened. “How did you know that?”

Artemis gave a theatrical sigh and replaced his hoof on Hooves’ shoulder, staring morosely at the body. “I heard he died trying to save my friend. It’d take a brave pony to go out into that storm for the sake of a stranger. I’d like to pay my last respects, if I could. Maybe you could take me to the coroner, and I can kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.”

The guard captain’s expression was stony, but a flicker in his eyes told Artemis he had hit the right note. They stood in silence for several minutes with nothing but the faint clouds from their breath to indicate there weren’t three bodies in the room. Blossom was the first to crack. He gave an exasperated sigh and scratched the back of his neck. “Alright, fine. But look, Doc’s office is downtown. Non-Bat Ponies usually aren’t supposed to go down there. I can get you in, but you’ll need to be escorted the whole time. You wander off or cause trouble in any way; you’ll be spending the night in a cell. Got it?”

Artemis nodded. Blossom gave another sigh, replaced the sheet over Hooves, and slid the gurney back into the shelf. “Do not make me regret this.”

Blossom lead the way out of the morgue. Artemis followed silently, pausing only for a second to adjust his cap. There was a faint rustling of plastic from underneath.

~~~

“Wait here.”

They had left the Watch House and made their way through the town until they were clear on the far side from the main gate. They stood at the base of the largest mountain in the area. It was so tall the top disappeared into the clouds, and the sides were so steep that from below it looked almost like a sheer, vertical climb.

From where he had been told to wait, Artemis could just see Blossom approach the flat rock face and knock. He muttered something Artemis couldn’t make out, and a moment later, much to Artemis’ surprise, a section of the wall, as blank and unassuming as any other, lowered down into the ground with a metallic rumble. Blossom muttered a few more indistinct words with the shadowy figures inside before turning back to Artemis and jerking his head to follow.

“Alright, you can go in.” He pointed at the pair of iron clad Bat Ponies standing at the entrance. They weren’t nearly as big as the Earth Pony guards, but they were lean and every bit as battle scarred and fierce looking. “These are members of the Night Watch. They’ll be your escorts. Give them any trouble, and you’ll answer to me. Got it?”

Artemis smiled and saluted. “Yes, Sir, Captain Blossom, Sir!”

Blossom grumbled something about civilians before stalking off, back to town, leaving Artemis alone with the Bat Ponies. He gave them his friendliest wave. “Hi, fellas! I’d like to see the coroner, please.”

The two Bat Ponies just glared until he lowered his hoof and wiped the smile from his face. Seemingly satisfied he was taking the situation seriously enough, one of the guards grunted, “Follow us.”

The instant Artemis crossed the threshold, one of the guards flipped a lever, and the door to the entrance ground shut. He was escorted, closely, down a long, dimly lit tunnel for what felt like an hour. He couldn’t tell how high or wide the tunnel was, and, if it wasn’t for the guards flanking him, he probably would have lost track of which way was backwards and which was forwards.

A sudden change in air pressure and the creaking of wooden boards under his hooves told him they had finally left the tunnel. His eyes hadn’t quite adjusted to the darkness, but the distant echo of hundreds of voices and the occasional darting shadow high over his head made it clear that, wherever they were, it was big.

He whistled, listening for the amplified echo and counting the beats between each one. “So, this is downtown Transylmaneia, is it? Roomy.”

“This way.” The guard on his right nudged him, firmly, on the shoulder and turned left, leading the way along the wooden walkway. As they walked, Artemis strained his senses, trying to make out the details of his surroundings. The voices seemed to be coming from all directions at once, he could smell water and there was an odd, iridescent glow coming from somewhere. It wasn’t enough to illuminate much, but it did seem to highlight the water’s surface.

The trio came to a stop outside a small alcove in the cavern wall about as large as a modest bedroom. The guard Artemis had come to think of as Lefty McOverbite walked to the back of the alcove and pulled on a rope hanging on the wall. There was the faint sound of a jingling bell from some deeper recesses Artemis couldn’t make out, and, a moment later, another Bat Pony emerged from the shadows. He had a haggard but friendly look and was wearing a white lab coat.

“This pony wants to see Dusk Thunder.” Lefty jerked his head towards the visitor. “Captain Blossom says it’s okay.”

The coroner nodded and smiled at Artemis. “Well, in that case, come in sir. Make yourself at home.” He pointed him down a set of stone steps at the back of the alcove. Turning back to the guards, he added, “Would you gentlecolts mind waiting here? Thank you so much.”

Once they had reached the lower floor, the coroner brushed past Artemis and, a moment later, produced a crate which, upon opening, flooded the room with brilliance akin to a magnesium flare. Artemis recoiled with a shout of surprise. “Woops, sorry. Probably should have given you a warning eh? Not to worry, your eyes will adjust in a second. Better we light this place up, rather than have you stumbling around in the dark.”

“What are those things?” Artemis rubbed his eyes, trying to rid his vision of swirling stars as the coroner flitted across the room, fitting the glowing things into notches on the walls.

“Hum? Oh, we call them Sun Stones. They’re rarefied versions of the Star Stones that line the cavern’s lake bed. It’s quite a sight to behold, the lake. You know, if you look at it from above, it looks just like an upside down night sky! Pity, tourists never get to see it.”

“You don’t say.” Artemis muttered as he followed the coroner down another flight of stairs. The Bat Pony seemed remarkably chipper for somepony who worked with the dead for a living.

As the coroner set to work illuminating the morgue, Artemis couldn’t help but notice a distinct difference between this and the morgue at the Watch House. Where the one at the Watch House had the same, somewhat cobbled-together, look of the rest of the town and was half-filled with ice blocks, this morgue looked like it had been hoof-cut out of the solid, mountain rock itself, and, while it was every bit as cold as the other morgue, there was no ice to be seen.

“We’re under the lake’s surface,” said the coroner, as though reading Artemis’ mind. “Keeps the place nice and chilly without having to bother with ice.”

With the room lit, the coroner trotted over to the operating table in the centre of the room where the body of a powerfully built, young Bat Pony lay next to a tray of surgical tools. “Here he is. His family is coming by later today to pick him up. I’m just trying to make him look a little bit more presentable.”

Artemis scanned the body. Strange. Apart from the broad, inverted-pyramid shaped welt in his skull, he seemed completely unmarred. If he had been thrown through the wall of the ticket office with Hooves, then he should have similar abrasions. Either the coroner was a cosmetic miracle worker and simply hadn’t gotten round to Hooves yet, or something wasn’t right.

“Poor guy. My condolences.” Artemis lowered his head in a moment of silence before looking up to meet the coroner’s gaze. “If you don’t mind, I have a question about the pony he tried to save, Doctor...”

“Oh, Harvest Moon,” he extended a hoof, which Artemis bumped. “Sure, ask away Mister...”

“Artemis Trotson. Doctor Moon, are you certain a shard of glass was the cause of death? It’s just that... I’ve seen my share of wounds, and I could have sworn the one in Hooves’ chest was made by a knife.”

“You know, that same thought did cross my mind when I was stitching him up.” Doctor Moon scratched his chin thoughtfully. “But I dug out that glass shard personally. It was definitely the culprit.”

Artemis hummed thoughtfully, allowing his gaze to drift and tapping a hoof on the floor. “What about the bruising on his neck? It looked an awful lot like a hoof mark.”

“Indeed it was.” Doctor Moon confirmed. “The severity of the bruising would indicate that Dusk Thunder fell on Hooves during the commotion. Dusk was a big fella. Frankly, I’m surprised the damage wasn’t any worse than it was. I’d say Hooves was lucky, but the sentiment is somewhat lost on the dead.”

Doctor Moon frowned and moved around the table to look Artemis in the eye. “Mister Trotson,” his voice was hesitant but bore a slight edge of suspicion. “Are you trying to imply, your friend’s death wasn’t an accident?”

Artemis chuckled and waved a hoof dismissively. “Oh no, of course not. I guess I’m just grasping at straws.” He splayed his ears and avoided eye contact. “Hooves was a dear friend, and I think I’m just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that something as mundane as the weather could have gotten the better of him.”

The coroner gave a soft smile and nodded sympathetically, placing a companionable hoof on Artemis’ shoulder. “I guess we all deal with death in different ways. Looking for somepony to blame is only natural, but you’ve got to understand that, sometimes, accidents just happen.”

Artemis closed his eyes and gave a single nod. “I think I’ve seen what I came to see. Right now, I just want to take my friend home and give him a proper send-off. Would you mind getting him ready so we can go?”

“Have the others all confirmed his identity?”

Artemis’ ears perked up, and he cocked his head to one side. “Others? What others?”

The coroner trotted over to his desk and, after some rifling, withdrew a folder. He flipped through a few pages before tapping a hoof on the one he was looking for. “Mister Hooves had five emergency contacts listed in his medical records, though one seems to have been struck out. Captain Blossom sent out messages to all of you, so, until we get confirmation, or at least a reply, from all four still listed, I’m afraid I can’t release Hooves into your custody.”

“What?!” Artemis’ voice echoed back from the stone walls. “So I have to wait here for Celestia knows how long, just so three other ponies can confirm what I’ve already told you? All the while Hooves just gets to rot on some shelf?”

Doctor Moon’s ears splayed, and he raised a hoof defensively. “Mister Trotson, please, calm down. I’m afraid this is just standard procedure. We need to wait for confirmation from all four names listed. If, however, no other contact comes forward after a week, you’ll be allowed to take him home.”

Artemis sighed and rubbed his temple. Why couldn’t anything ever be simple? He fixed Doctor Moon with a tired gaze and asked, “Where’s the nearest telegram office?”

Doctor Moon scratched his chin and hummed thoughtfully. “Well, there’s a telegram at the Watch House, but that’s for official use only. There’s a public-access telegram at the Wagon Wheel Inn though. You’ll probably end up there anyway if you’ll be staying for a while. It’s the only lodging you’ll find for miles.”

Artemis muttered his thanks and turned to leave.

“Oh, Mister Trotson?”

Artemis paused and glanced over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry for your loss. My daughter knew Hooves. I’m still trying to figure out how to break the news to her when she gets back.”

Artemis nodded and left the morgue.

~~~

The Wagon Wheel Inn was, to say the least, aptly named. After Town Hall, the inn was easily the largest building in town. It seemed to be constructed entirely from disassembled settler wagons, and a single, large wagon wheel hung from a signpost by the entrance.

A bell tinkled as Artemis opened the door. The inside was spotlessly clean, and, surprisingly, it seemed every effort had been made to make the place as warm and welcoming as possible. The walls were freshly varnished in deep ochre, thick carpets covered the floor, and a log fire crackled merrily in the cobblestone hearth.

At the sound of the bell, an Earth Pony mare dashed out from behind the reception desk and flashed Artemis a broad, toothy grin. “Welcome to the Wagon Wheel, where weary travellers rest their heavy heads! A’m Rough Diamond and A’ll be y’ur host for as long as ya care to stay.”

She had freckles, a light brown coat, a long, straw coloured mane and tail tied back in braids, and wore an old, red and white dress with a corset. Everything from her accent to her demeanour screamed down-home charm, and Artemis couldn’t help but return the smile. “Hi, I’m Artemis, and I’d like a room please.”

The mare’s grin grew even wider at that. She grabbed Artemis’ hoof and shook it vigorously, almost lifting the poor stallion clear off his hooves in her enthusiasm. “Well, it’s great to meet ya, Artemis! You bet your hind leg you can have a room. The more the merrier! Why, yer only the second pony today to check in so you can take yer pick.”

“Business is slow, huh?”

Rough Diamond shrugged. “Meh, business ain’t exactly boomin’ anywhere in town. The only ones who ever seem to get any kind of regular work are the guards, and I don’t envy ‘em. We used to have a fair enough tourist industry, but, ever since the whole Crystal Empire thing, that’s pretty much dried up.”

“So, how come the town hasn’t gone bankrupt?”

“Oh, don’t you fret none, darlin’.” Rough Diamond chuckled and skipped back to the reception desk. “The Princesses wouldn’t let such an old town waste away. They send aid regular-like, and we still get a fair trade from the precious minerals that only form in these parts. We just gotta stay positive, an’ things ‘ll pick up.”

Artemis shook his head and chuckled to himself. It seemed the inn wasn’t the only aptly named thing in town. An eternal optimist in a town so down on its luck was a rough diamond indeed.

~~~

After sending his telegram to Daring, Rough Diamond let Artemis into the inn’s lounge where she’d be serving lunch. Like the main foyer, the room was warmly decorated with a crackling fire and several large, cushy armchairs. The only other occupant of the room was an orange maned Pegasus mare sitting by the fire pouring over a stack of letters. She glanced up at the sound of hooves and set down the letter she had been reading.

“Artemis, this here is Bright Eyes, the other guest I mentioned.” Rough Diamond waved a hoof at the Pegasus, beaming like she was showing of a prized trophy. “Bright Eyes, this here is Artemis. He just checked in.”

Artemis walked over to the mare and offered a hoof. She glanced at it for a second before giving a soft smile and accepting the bump. “Nice to meet you.”

Rough Diamond giggled and skipped to the door. “Now, why don’t you two get acquain’ed while I go fetch lunch? Back in a tick.”

With their hostess gone, Artemis sat down in the armchair opposite Bright Eyes and chuckled. “Rough Diamond’s quite the people pony, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Bright Eyes cleared away her letters, stuffing them in a saddle bag by her chair. “You know, when I showed up, she couldn’t stop going on about my being a Pegasus? Something about a Pegasus in Transylmaneia being as rare as an Earth Pony in Cloudsdale.”

“You know, now that I think about it, I have only seen Earth and Bat Ponies since I arrived here. I guess their weather team must be all Bat Ponies too.”

“Not likely.” Bright Eyes stretched her wings and popped her neck, shifting into a more comfortable position in her seat. “Bat Ponies are no good with weather. They can’t even sit on clouds. Not to mention Transylmaneia and the surrounding area are no-go spots for all weather teams. The tight mountain ranges and perpetual gale-force winds around the summits make it too hazardous.”

“Huh.” Artemis didn’t think it was possible for a weather front to scare away professional weather Pegasi. Maybe it wasn’t so strange that the local elements got the better of Hooves. “So, what brings you here? Seeing the sights?”

Bright Eyes snorted and cocked an eyebrow. “What sights? I’m sure this place has a lot of history and all, but frankly, I’ve seen more aesthetically appealing disaster areas. No,” -- her ears splayed and she looked down at her hooves-- “I’m here on personal business. An old acquaintance of mine just died, and I had to come and identify the body.”

“You ain’t talkin’ about Fetlock, are ya?” Rough Diamond asked as she came into the room pushing a trolley laden with bowls of stew and mugs of hot chocolate.

“Yeah, did you know him?”

“Know ‘im? Why, he stayed here the entire time he was in Transylmaneia. He was practically part of the family.” She unloaded the trolley and took a seat beside Artemis. “I was mighty broke up when he bit the big one.”

“Yeah, me too.” Bright Eyes picked up her mug and cradled it between her forehooves.

Artemis picked up his own mug and took a deep draught of its sweet, creamy contents. “And here I thought Hooves never had a way with mares.”

The two mares looked at him, brows raised. “It seems we’re here for the same reason. I assume you’ve been told we can’t take him back until the other two contacts show up?”

Bright Eyes harrumphed and took an angry bite of her stew. “Stupid red tape. I’d already be halfway back to Canterlot if I could. I mean, why does it take four ponies to identify one? I have ponies back home counting on me. I can’t just take a week off! My manager would kill me!”

“Tell me about it.” Artemis sighed. “I could be helping my goddaughter through a real rough patch right now. Instead, I’m here.” He wondered what Daring was doing at that very moment. “So... How did you know Hooves in the first place?”

“It’s a long story.” Bright Eyes grumbled.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we have nothing but time. Humour me. I hear some ponies consider it customary to swap stories of the recently dead.”

Bright Eyes sighed and rolled her eyes. “Fine. Well, the cliff notes version would be; a few years ago I was a sergeant in the Royal Guard, one of only a few. When it came time for our Captain to retire, we sergeants got the chance to compete to fill the position. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and we all wanted it bad. Some, however, wanted it more than others.” She slumped back in her chair and stared into the fire, an air of sadness creeping into her voice. “When two of my colleagues turned up dead, foul play was suspected and I was the prime suspect.”

“How come?” Artemis furrowed his brow. “There were other sergeants vying for the position weren’t there? Surely you’d all be equally suspect.”

Bright Eyes waved her hoof in dismissal. “There was a bunch of evidence linking me to the crime, but I’m getting to that.

“Anyway, I’m sure you know, murder almost never happens in Equestria, and it hadn’t happened in Canterlot specifically in centuries. Because of this, the guard were woefully undertrained for dealing with such a situation.” She gave a half-hearted chuckle. “You know, for a while, I was genuinely worried I’d be facing a one way trip to the sun or something. Lucky for me though, Captain Manecroft had a brother in Trotingham with experience in these matters.”

“Hooves?”

“Yeah. He came in, all bluster and snark, proved the evidence against me was entirely circumstantial and uncovered the real killer so easily, anypony watching would have sworn it was all pre-rehearsed. It was one of the most amazing things I’d ever seen.

When all was said and done, I made him promise to send for me if he ever needed help. He saved my rump and I was adamant about repaying the favour.” The mare curled up in her chair, hugging her mug to her barrel. “I never thought this was how I’d be doing it.”

“I know how you feel.” Artemis stirred his stew around the bowl, any thoughts of hunger lost under a miasma of fatigue and melancholy. “Hooves and I didn’t exactly part ways on the best of terms. I always assumed we’d make peace eventually. I kept putting it off because I thought I had all the time in the world. I was stupid. A friend should never be a second priority.”

“Ah’m guessin’ y’all were close?” Rough Diamond chipped in, laying down her empty bowl.

Artemis chuckled. “Heh, you could say that. Heck, Hooves practically raised me.

“When I was young, you could say, I ran with the wrong crowd. Oh, we didn’t do anything major for the most part, just the usual street hooligan stuff; scrapping with other gangs, defacing public property with obnoxious gutter humour, loitering where we knew it would bother ponies, the usual stuff.

“The first time I met Hooves was when he caught me with my hoof in his pocket. In that situation, any other pony would have called the guard, right? Not Hooves. He just gave me a clip around the ear and showed me how to properly pick a pocket.”

Bright Eyes frowned and cocked her head to one side. “His response to being robbed was to turn the thief into a better thief?”

Artemis grinned and gave a little flourish with his hoof. “Hooves was a pony who always thought ten moves ahead. I guess he figured having an informant on the street who owed him was more useful than putting a nameless pick-pocket behind bars for a few days.”

“So, he was blackmailin’ ya?”

Artemis wobbled his hoof in a “so-so” fashion. “A little bit, at the start. It was less Hooves being mean and more, me being stubborn. But after he taught me a few more tricks and started giving me bits for every piece of useful information I brought him, I actually started to get into the whole ‘good guy’ thing.

“It all came to a head though, when my gang wanted to make the leap from petty hooligans to full blown criminals by hijacking a train. Now, I was no Celestia, not by a long shot, but I had to draw the line somewhere.”

“You quit the gang?”

“Not quite.” Artemis sighed. “I tried to convince them not to go through with it, that there’d be no going back, but they wouldn’t listen so, I went to Hooves and told him everything. I told him about the gang, what train we were going to hijack and when. I didn’t want any part of it, but he told me to play along, said they needed to be caught in the act before they could be brought to justice. So, I did. Heh, ironically, that night was when I discovered my special talent for driving.” He brushed his golden pocket watch cutie mark, a small smile crossing his lips.

“I pulled the train right into the station where Hooves and the guards were waiting. My gang got arrested and I became Hooves... ward? I guess.”

“So...” Rough Diamond fidgeted with her dress, hesitating before continuing. “Ya didn’t feel bad about turnin’ on yer friends?”

Artemis scratched his chin and hummed, thinking back. “I imagine at the time I wasn’t too thrilled. But, it was the right thing to do, and it all worked out in the end. When they had served their time, Hooves saw to it that they were all given a fair second chance and even set them up with apprenticeships. I even heard one of them joined the guard.”

Artemis drained the last of his hot chocolate and flashed the two mares a sad smile. “That was Hooves for you. Whenever he put criminals away, he liked to make sure criminals weren’t the ones let out again.”

The trio sat in silence for a long while, each lost in their own thoughts. The hearty meal had filled their bellies and the only sound in the room was the gentle crackling of the fire, its soft, flickering light lulling Artemis gently into a warm stupor.

He didn’t even notice himself falling asleep.

Author's Note

Yes, it's a little different. Please don't hate me!
See related blog post for a link to the original version.