Chapter Seven: The Late Fetlock Hooves, Part Two

By Feather Scratch

Proof Read by Comet Burst and q97randomguy

“So, to summarise: you thinks Hooves and Dusk killed each other during a violent storm over the affections of a mare.”

“More or less.”

“And you think the ponies of the town know what happened but are covering it up.”

“That’s the current theory.”

“And you’re just gonna waltz in and blow the lid off the whole thing.”

“Yes.”

“Bleh, this feels like a cheesy period drama. I feel like I should be wearing a bonnet and a skirt the size of a tent.”

Artemis paused just as he and Bright Eyes reached the door of the Wagon Wheel. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes and turned to his frowning companion. “Look, just humour me for a little while longer. I have one last thing I want to look into. If I’m wrong, I’ll drop the whole idea. Honestly, you’re as bad as I was twenty years ago.”

Bright Eyes sniggered. “What, you wanted to wear poufy dresses and bonnets too?”

“Smart ass.”

“In all seriousness though—” Bright Eyes’ ears drooped and she wrapped her wings around her forelegs “—your idea is actually starting to scare me a little. Don’t get me wrong, I still think it’s nonsense... but it’s really well-thought-out nonsense. If you’re right, that would mean we’re a hundred miles from nowhere in a town full of ponies willing to cover up a murder.

“Maybe... maybe we should just keep our mouths shut. If we wait ‘til we’re back south, we could tell the royal guards, and they could handle it.”

Artemis smiled and rubbed her shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry. Believe it or not, I’m not that reckless. Heck, even I’ve read The Wicker Mare.

“I highly doubt the whole town is involved. If they were, why would the Watch ask us to come here to identify the victim? Or, why would Captain Blossom let me go Downtown to take a look at Dusk Thunder? If they were all in on it, all they had to do was hide the body and say nothing.

“No.” Artemis scratched his chin. “I’m fairly certain Blossom, at least, is on the up and up. The coroner on the other hoof... I pointed out inconsistencies in the official assessment, he even acknowledged seeing one, but he just dismissed them out of hoof. He agreed that the chest wound looked like it came from a knife. That alone should have been grounds for further investigation. But no, he thinks it’s just a coincidence.”

Bright Eyes nodded, frowning. “Okay, so the coroner may be involved. Makes sense, but he isn’t a mare. If the Watch aren’t involved, who else do we suspect?”

“I never said the Watch weren’t involved.” Artemis waved a hoof. “I just said Blossom wasn’t. I don’t know enough to go pointing hooves yet, but I think the Night Watch or, at least, certain elements within the Night Watch know something and aren’t sharing.”

“And you’re basing this on...”

“The scenario itself. The Night Watch were the ones on duty at the time of death. They were first on the scene and had Dusk Thunder sequestered in their own private morgue, which it turns out, is in the coroner’s home.” Artemis straightened up and stomped the ground for emphasis. “If the Night Watch were even half as disciplined as the members of the Day Watch I’ve seen, there’s no way they wouldn’t have noticed one of their own going MIA during a potentially life-threatening storm. They would have been working in pairs at the very least, due to the wind.”

“So, there’s at least one member of the Night Watch involved as well.” Bright Eyes ruffled her feathers and flicked her tail. “Do we think this is our mystery mare?”

Artemis raised a brow and gave a crooked grin. “What’s this ‘we’ stuff all of a sudden?”

“Meh.” The Pegasus shrugged. “In for a bit, in for a whole sack of bits. If you’re right, I wanna help. If you’re wrong, I reserve the right to say ‘I told you so.’”

Artemis snorted. “Duly noted. And to answer your question, no. While we can’t rule out the possibility just yet, I haven’t seen a Bat Pony yet whose mane wasn’t some shade of blue, black or purple.”

“So?”

“So, I found a hair near the hoofprint in the caboose. It was blonde. A particular shade of blonde we’ve both seen before.”

The Pegasus’ face was blank for a moment before her pupils dilated, and she whipped around to stare at the still-closed door of the Wagon Wheel. “You’ve gotta be yankin’ my feathers! Rough Diamond? But... she’s a total sweetheart.”

“Yes, she is.” Artemis looked his companion square in the eyes. “She’s sweet and kind and easy on the eyes to boot. It’d take a stallion with a heart of stone to resist her charms. Not to mention, she said Hooves had been staying with her at the inn ever since he’d arrived. They would have had plenty of time to get to know each other.

“And before you start—” Artemis raised a hoof just as Bright Eyes opened her mouth “—with the whole ‘that could be anypony’s hair’ bit, I suspected Rough Diamond before we got to the caboose.

“In the hall, when you had just gotten back from your run, she said she was sorry Hooves made a ‘mess of himself.’ But how would she have known that? Not even Gus saw the bodies, and he worked at the scene.”

Bright Eyes sighed and nodded. “Fine. So, what’s our next move?”

Artemis put a hoof on the door. “I need you to keep Rough Diamond distracted for a while. I need to check out the knives in the kitchen.”

“What—” Bright Eyes cocked a brow “—you expecting to find a bloody clever hanging from the wall?”

“Actually, it’d be more of a carving knife.” Artemis grinned and pushed open the door. “But that’s the general idea, yeah.”

“You’re either a genius or an idiot, and it disturbs me that I can’t tell which.”

~~~

Artemis nosed his way into the surprisingly large kitchen, loaded wall to wall with anything and everything a discerning chef could ever want. Suspended on hooks over a well-scrubbed island in the centre of the room were iron pots and pans of every size. Floor-to-ceiling shelves lined nearly two whole walls and boasted every herb, seasoning, condiment, and esoteric ingredient known to ponykind, the purposes of which were secrets revealed only to those most skilled in the art of fine cuisine. And there, hanging to either side of an antique coal oven, were the rows of gleaming knives he had been looking for.

Regrettably for the Bright Eyes theory, none of them were stained red with blood. But thankfully for Artemis, she took to being a distraction like a Dragon to gems, convincing Rough Diamond that, after spending the morning with a bore like Artemis, she needed a little mare time. Rough Diamond agreed to show her the hot springs, and Artemis had the inn to himself. He’d need the time for his little experiment.

First, he gathered every knife he could see and laid them on the counter of the island. Then he systematically went through every drawer in the room until he found one with medical supplies. “Let’s see, bandages, antiseptic, laudanum, pretty sure that’s illegal, ah!” He pulled out a bottle of Turf-be-Gone, extra strength laxative elixir and set it next to the knives.

He paused a moment and scanned the room. Snorting, he trotted back into the hall and, after some poking around, found the cleaning supply closet, returning a moment later with a bucket and a bottle of bleach.

“I will never understand how you came up with this, Hooves.”

Filling the bucket with a liberal mix of bleach and laxative, Artemis picked up the first knife and dunked it, making sure the entire blade was coated in the acrid brew. When he was satisfied, he set it carefully aside and repeated the process with every knife.

Finished, he stood back and examined his work. “I really hope I’m wrong about you Diamond.”

Minutes passed, and nothing seemed to happen. The blades just sat there, glistening in their bowel-wrenching coating. Artemis, who had started swaying a little from the fumes, breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t mind being wrong if it meant he didn’t have to accuse an innocent ma—

A mark on one of the blades caught his eye. It was faint, but the longer he looked, the clearer it, and others like it, became. Pale, pink streaks ran from the tip to nearly half the length of the blade.

Artemis fell to his haunches and rubbed his eyes. “Hooves, what did you get yourself into?”

Wrapping the marked knife gingerly in a cloth, Artemis left the kitchen and made a beeline for the guard house. It was time to end this.

~~~

“And that’s the Wagon Wheel Inn. Considering it’s the only place in town where a visitor can find lodgings, it’s been one of the backbones of the community for generations.” Angel and Daring had left the tourist board to have a quick look around town before it got dark. After visiting the guard posts, market district, and winery, Angel decided she’d better show Daring where she’d be staying.

“As I’m sure you can tell it was constructed entirely out of old settler wagons. It’s seen a lot of traffic over the years, even played host to a few celebrities. Just last year, a famous magician from down south stayed here!” Angel’s enthusiasm faltered a little. “She did leave in a hurry when one of her fireworks caused the wheel on the door to fall and clonk her on the head, though.”

Daring’s eyes were wide with a wonder only a professional could have in the face of, what anypony else would call, junk. “Amazing. This whole town, it’s like, not a single resource was wasted. I can’t imagine the kind of ingenuity half of this stuff would have taken.”

Angel chuckled. “Well, it’s nice to see somepony who appreciates it. Honestly, I just memorise this stuff by rote. I never really stop to think about it.”

“Hey, Angel?” Daring dropped her gaze to the ground and began idly drawing circles in the dirt. “I’m sorry about earlier, at your aunt’s place. I really didn’t mean to offend either of you.”

Angel snorted and chuckled. “Hey, relax. You couldn’t offend Auntie Autumn if you tried. And me, I was mostly just upset we weren’t having the chocolate cake I know she has stashed away in the cupboard.” Angel’s ears drooped, and she flashed Daring a sheepish grin. “I guess I was venting. Sorry.”

Daring matched Angel’s gaze, and for a moment, neither spoke. Daring was the first to break the silence as her sombre mask cracked, and she broke into a full-bellied guffaw. “Oh, sweet Celestia. Somepony call the park ranger. Things just got sappy!” At that, Angel couldn’t help but join in, and before long, the mares were clutching each other for support.

After nearly a full minute laughing, they took notice of the strange looks they were drawing from passers-by and forced themselves to calm down.

“Oh. Oh boy. Anyway—” Angel climbed back to her hooves and turned towards the Inn “—let’s get you settled in.” Just as she reached for the door, it swung open, and she was unceremoniously barrelled over by the rushing stallion coming in the opposite direction.

“What the hay!” Angel flailed and kicked, landing a few solid blows before Artemis could disentangle himself from her and stagger back to his hooves.

Daring placed herself between the two just in time to intercept the snarling Bat Pony mid-lunge. “Wow there, Angel! It’s just Artemis.” She turned to her godfather, who was gingerly rubbing his newly blossoming bruises. “Artemis, what’s going on?”

Artemis grimaced and looked his goddaughter in the eye. “Wait inside. After I round everypony up, I’ll explain everything.”

Author's Note

Hey everypony.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Hope you enjoy this brief interlude before we get to the really juicy stuff in the next part.

If anyone's curious, Artemis' little test is actually based on a real-world CSI method for detecting blood developed in the 19th century called the "Kastle-Meyer" test. The combination of the hydrogen peroxide in the bleach and the phenolphthalein in the laxative cause the haemoglobin in any residual blood traces to turn pink.

The more you know.