Running From Myself

by torrentialCAM

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Cheerilee, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad
Length: 11913

The way others perceive us can affect how we perceive ourselves, and the results are rarely pretty.

The way others perceive us can affect how we perceive ourselves, and the results are rarely pretty. When a couple of Canterlot ponies from her past come to Ponyville, Twilight has a difficult time revisiting a traumatic event from her foalhood.

*Now on Equestria Daily! Thanks are in order to the pre-reader(s) who put their time aside for this story. Final scene changed from "alternate ending" to "epilogue", and extended, because sometimes we only think of scenes after things see publish.

Reading by Obabscribbler: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bitGUNZKNmU

Published 2012-01-27 22:05:18 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-27 22:05:18 UTC

Running From Myself

Twilight vaguely saw the baby dragon as he moved in and out of her peripheral vision, like a purple metronome taking various things back and forth from her bedroom. But to her, it was just a barely-noticeable repetitive motion, with her nose buried in a book thick enough to stop a door.

The purple unicorn took in every paragraph on every page with the utmost focus. She used her magic to turn the pages every minute, not consciously but as a simple reflex when she had reached the end of the current page. Spike may have said something to her in the midst of his chores, but it was lost in translation; she was miles away.

Her body may have been dormant, but her mind spun through the worlds created for her by the words on the page. The brave concepts, magical ideals and passions espoused on these pages…how could any pony ask for anything more? This feeling of euphoria surrounded her until she felt a tingle in her hooves with every turn of the page. It was almost as though the text itself was calling her name…

“Twilight…Twilight…TWILIGHT!”

A flustered baby dragon ripped the book from her grasp, causing the unicorn to shout in surprise, “Hey – Spike! I was reading that!” She magically produced a place-keeper from a high shelf and slid it in between the pages before the book slammed shut.

“Sor-ree.” Spike said, “What’s got you so wrapped up in that thing, anyway?”

“It was written by a very smart magical theoretician. He demonstrates all of his theories by putting them into practice in short stories of his own invention, so I’m experiencing his characters’ adventures AND learning more about magic.”

“So it’s a book.” Spike said, causing Twilight’s face to fall flat. “Well, you were pretty absorbed – do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Time…I…well…” Twilight suddenly blinked in surprise and said fervently enough to startle Spike, “I promised I’d go with Rarity and Fluttershy out to dinner!” She looked out her window at the stars peeking from the sky. “…An hour ago!”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Spike cried out, “Honestly, Twilight, you get so wrapped up in your books that it’s like you don’t even exist in Equestria any more.”

Twilight didn’t especially like how he said it in a decidedly negative tone, but she hastily galloped to the library’s front door, only to find her two companions of the hour standing right there.

“Twilight, darling!” The snow-white unicorn with the purple mane said with a sudden smile. “I hope you don’t mind, but when we knocked and you didn’t answer, Spike graciously let us in. Didn’t you, Spikey-Wikey?”

“Uhm, yes ma’am.” Spike grinned.

“I’m so sorry,” Twilight said, raising a hoof to her forehead. “I was just caught up in a new book I got. I’m almost-“

“Twilight, you don’t have to explain it to us,” Rarity said, “We all have our vices. Why, sometimes I get so caught up in sewing prototypes for a new fashion line that I…”

“Vices?” Twilight smiled, but it was a hesitant smile clearly meant to hide that she was dissatisfied with Rarity’s word usage. “How do you mean?”

“Oh – never mind, dearie. I’m positively starving and our reservations have only held this long by dent that the owner is a dear friend of mine. Off we go!”

“So…what’s this place called, again?” Twilight said as the trio headed off into town.

“Oh, you two will positively love it. The Gilded Horseshoe brings the classy fare and ambience of Canterlot to small towns like Ponyville,” Rarity gushed as though reciting an advertisement. Twilight smiled at her friend’s enthusiasm (and even at Fluttershy’s lack of overt enthusiasm), even though the purple unicorn would have, in truth, been content with a meal at a humble diner, or a nice snack at home while getting caught up on her studies. But spending time with her friends was well worth putting her studies on hold.

The Gilded Horseshoe was a two-story building, tucked away from the main Ponyville streets (to deter the riff-raff, Rarity decreed) and with a spacious balcony with a view of the stars. Rarity grinned subconsciously at the swank attire of the wait staff as their reservations were confirmed and they were seated at the second-floor balcony, under a blanket of stars.

“Um…Rarity?” Fluttershy finally spoke, gazing over the menu.

“Yes, precious?”

“…why are all the entrees in French?”

“Why, don’t be silly, darling. This part of the menu is in Italian.”

“Well, uh…” Twilight tilted her head as she stared down the menu, tilting one eyebrow as she attempted to make sense of languages she didn’t speak. “Oh, this looks interesting – what’s this one?”

The waitress peering over her shoulder said in a sweet voice, “That’s an open-face petunia sandwich over a bed of hay in a light miso glaze, with your choice of soup or salad to start.”

“Oh, that sounds delicious. I’ll have that with your soup of the day.” Twilight said with a smile.

“Twilight, dear, I simply must have you try their house mixer.” Rarity crooned and half-joked, “So long as you’re not planning on pulling any carriages tonight.”

“Wait, exactly how salty is this drink?” Twilight peered over. If she had been asked, she would have said that she didn’t not drink – she just wasn’t very good at drinking.

“Oh, you’ll be quite fine,” Rarity said, “Trust me. It goes exceedingly well with the palette of any petunia dish.”

“I had no idea you were as refined a diner as you were a designer, Rarity,” Twilight said with an impressed grin as the half-glass was placed between her hooves.

“Oh, but of course,” Rarity said, “To live high culture is to be high culture. One must know her way about all things elegant.”

After thinking it over for just a moment, Twilight lifted the glass with a quick levitation spell and took a sip.

It tasted a shade of bitter to begin with, but not without its lingering charm...comparable to perhaps cherries on the tongue. Twilight felt a fluttery warmth slowly rolling through her body after her second sip.

After the trio had ordered, Rarity had got to talking to Fluttershy about a new line of ‘spring fling’ dresses that she was hoping the yellow Pegasus would be kind enough to do some size-fitting for. Twilight’s attentions drifted elsewhere; part of her head was still filled with the magical anecdotes she had immersed herself in before her friends had showed up, but the other part of her mind – the part that included a direct line from her ears – drifted however inadvertently to the discussions of surrounding diners as they melded in and out, crafting the establishment’s ambiance.

“Oh, of course, Ponyville is simply a delightfully quaint little place; coming here from Fillydelphia wasn’t as much of a culture shock as you’d think when you consider that even in Filly, there are plenty of places you can just sit back and unwind…”

“Waiter, excuse me? I’m sorry, but I ordered the grassland spread, not the maritime soup.”

“Man, this Ponyville assignment is the pits…at least this joint has some sense of class-hey, wait. Girls, look there. Look there. I don’t believe it.”

Why did Twilight recognize that last voice, like a murmur in the back of her mind? She wasn’t sure why, but it set off a sense of dread in her stomach. Though she was with friends and surrounded by a pleasant ambiance – Rarity had that part right about this place, at the very least – she suddenly felt uneasy to her core.

“Oh my Celestia, you’re right! It’s Crylight Sparkless!”

“I had no idea she was in Ponyville. You sure it’s her?”

“Well, duh! Same geeky mane, same ‘Oooh, I’m so magical and precious’ cutie mark! Man, you just never know who you’ll see!”

Rarity was still so absorbed in the thoughts of how wondrous her new line was going to be that she didn’t quite notice, but Fluttershy was quick to ask Twilight why the colour had drained from her face. The lavender unicorn’s chin trembled very slightly, her eyes darting around.

“O-Oh, it’s…it’s nothing,” Twilight said quickly, though she sunk a little lower in her chair. She now had names to place to those voices, and…

The unicorn’s train of thought suddenly fell off the tracks when their meals came to the table, levitated by a unicorn waitress whose aural energies surrounding the plates even came equipped with their own silver linings.

And it seemed that Rarity had done right by them with her choice of restaurant; as the trays opened up, the food glimmered in its own radiance. It practically screamed, ‘eat me and love it!’

And the trio did. Even the normally reserved Fluttershy found her spread to be wholly delicious and gave Rarity her outward enthusiasm. Though Twilight was able to muster up a couple of nods and half-hearted smiles in approval of Rarity’s Spring line, she ate with her face unusually close down to the plate, as though trying to make herself appear smaller. She wished that she could enjoy the meal, because it really was delicious and fixed to all the high standards that one could expect from Canterlot cuisine. Yet, the taste of Canterlot once more brought back certain memories…sights and sounds that in her brighter moments, she actually had managed to block out.

Until now.

When the check arrived, Fluttershy gave a little gasp; apparently, this restaurant’s well-maintained ambience came at a fairly steep price, plus tip. But Rarity, with enough bits on hoof to cover the cost and then some, was several canters ahead of the curve.

“That was very lovely of you, Rarity. Thank you very much,” Fluttershy said in a soft croon as the trio stood from their seats. Twilight hadn’t said altogether too much since the start of the meal, and kept her head down as they headed for the exit. She downed one last sip of her mixer for a quick dose of liquid courage.

Blast it, why’d we have to get a second floor balcony? Can’t just be a straight shoot to the door, nooo…teleporting would attract too much attention, just gotta beat hooves…

Twilight tiptoed behind a waitress, mimicking her motions so as to be invisible from the other side. When the waitress turned off into the kitchen, she sprung down the stairs with the others. It seemed as though she was in the clear when-

“Ow!”

With her head down, Twilight’s horn poked something vaguely flank-shaped. That was, it seemed, somepony’s flank. The lavender mare looked up to apologize, only to find herself staring right into the face of-

“Twilight Sparkle, it’s been toooo long.” The unicorn mare said with a wide grin, swiftly getting over the sudden ache in her flank. The velvet unicorn appeared around Twilight’s age, albeit taller and with a flowing mane of gold and silver.

“Twilight, we’re all ready to-“ Rarity’s voice trailed off when she saw the velvet unicorn standing there, “Oh, hello! I wasn’t aware you and Twilight knew each other.” She struck a small, inadvertent pose. “I’m Rarity, of course: manager and stylist at Ponyville’s own Carousel Boutique.”

“Oh yeah,” Another unicorn mare said, this one a stark silver. “I’m Blanchette Parapet, and this is Maylene Treborne. Twiiii, you’re friends with Rarity? That IS a surprise,” Blanchette grinned. “I actually purchased a bridle from your last winter line.” Rarity’s eyes fluttered to hear it. “Twilight’s our good ol’ friend from her Canterlot days, when she was just a filly. Ain’t that right, Sparky?”

“…Sparky?” Twilight said flatly, clearly not amused. Her unamusement soon turned to a disgruntled, even offended surprise when Maylene reached over and leaned one of her front hooves on Twilight’s back, using her as a tabletop of sorts.

“Yeeaah, Sparky. Spark-Spark-Sparkster.” Blanchette laughed, “Unless you’d prefer your given name, Cry-“

The lavender unicorn twitched angrily in the velvet mare’s direction.

“Um – Twilight, perhaps we should quietly, well…….go,” Fluttershy said, although it was soon lost in the din of the restaurant. Rarity had been initially smitten with the fashion sense and natural marely looks of these newcomers, but her adoration had soon turned to distaste as she took in how they were treating Twilight of all ponies like a mere hoofstool.

“That’s a good idea,” Twilight sternly enunciated each syllable through clenched teeth and bucked Maylene’s hoof off her. She sighed and started for the revolving door where her friends were waiting…only to feel the sharp sting of the laminated menu that came levitated swiftly by unicorn magic right across the back of her head.

“Remind you of the good ol’ days, Crylight Sparkless?”

Twilight froze in her tracks, pupils slowly dilating. Her teeth shakily clenched, slowly. Images and sounds forced their way back into her mind.

Crylight, Crylight, can’t even jump-rope right~

Look at her! THIS is Celestia’s star student? Should’ve picked me instead!

And the sounds. The sounds of laughter from every direction, filling every pore of thought…

Fluttershy swiftly found the backside of the waiter’s podium, eyes just peeking out the top.

Rarity rushed to Twilight, but before she could make a move, the lavender mare’s horn glimmered brightly and several glasses from the nearby bar lifted surrounded by that familiar aura. Seemingly without thinking, Twilight mentally hurled the glasses at the two shocked mares. The duo just barely ducked out of the way before the glasses shattered on the wall.

By now, just about every pony in the vicinity was staring while Rarity was trying her darndest to drag Twilight out using a levitation spell of her own. The lavender unicorn was actively resisting it, her hooves charging to no avail in midair.

“What in Celestia’s name is wrong with you, Twilight Spazzle?” Blanchette huffed, “You really can’t ever take a joke!” She turned to Maylene. “Why – WHY – is she Celestia’s pupil. Runt never deserved it.”

Once the night air greeted the enraged purple unicorn, Rarity finally let down the levitation spell and bemoaned, “Twilight! I fully understand that those girls were out of line, but you’re just lucky I have enough pull with the owner to smooth this over! I hope…what’s gotten into you, other than entirely too much salt?!”

“No, you DON’T understand, Rarity!” Twilight snapped back, though instead of anger filling her eyes this time, there were tears brimming in the corners of her vision and trickling down her cheeks, “I…I’m sorry. I really am. I…gotta go.”

“Twilight! Wait!” Rarity cried out as her friend went galloping off in the direction of the library. While Rarity occasionally relied on eye-wear when stitching and measuring clothing, her far-sightedness allowed her to catch a glimpse of Twilight’s eyes burning with tears as she ran. But Twilight didn’t stop.

“What should we, um…do?” Fluttershy murmured, wringing her front hooves worriedly.

“We go after the poor dear!” Rarity said as she broke into a gallop. “Those mare do NOT wells in there gave her a fright something terrible, and I think we owe it to Twilight to get the full story.”

“Oh – um – but-“ Fluttershy kept up with Rarity as best she could. “Twilight seemed like she wanted to be, um, alone.”

“That’s simply balderdash!” Rarity ‘hmph’ed, “And let the poor dear wallow in her misery? I think not!”

By the time the duo reached the library, the hairs on the back of their manes were standing up; they could already feel as though something was amiss here.

“Twilight, sweetheart…?” Rarity called up to the second-floor window. “Won’t you come down and talk with us? I’m not mad at you at all; I merely think we should talk about this, shall we say…situation.”

When there came no response, Fluttershy gave some flaps in trepidation before flitting up to the balcony. She briefly peeked in through the window, but what she saw made her gasp softly.

Twilight was lying there, alone. Not on her bed as the yellow pegasus expected, but on the floor next to the bed. She was curled up, and if the bobbing motions of her head against her hooves wasn’t enough of a dead giveaway, the sounds of meek and deeply wounded sobbing were enough.

“O-Oh…” Fluttershy mumbled as she flitted back down, “She’s crying…”

“Well, we can’t have that,” Rarity said on approach to the front door. But just before she could knock, the door swung inward, Spike at the helm. Rarity nearly plunged forth from the reflex and gasped out, “Oh! Spike, could you be a dear and fetch Twilight for us? It’s quite important.”

“I can tell,” Spike raised an eyebrow. “What in the world happened at your dinner? She didn’t realize she was tardy for another assignment, did she?”

“Nnnot exactly,” Rarity hesitated. “See, we ran into a couple of Twilight’s old ‘chums’ from Canterlot, and…things got a mite out of hoof. This Blanchette Parapet tossed a menu at her, and instead of just holding her head high as the bigger mare and walking away, Twilight went…a touch out of control.”

“Hold on. Did you say…Blanchette Parapet?”

“Yuh-huh.”

“Ahh boy…”

“Spike, what is it?” Rarity leaned in.

“Guys, uh…I think we need to have a talk.” Spike said, ushering the mares outside and following suit. He gave one last cursory glance inside before quietly closing the door behind him.

“Yes, Spike?”

“Um…you guys know that Twilight was a bit of a loner before she met the five of you.” Spike cleared his throat. “It was just me and her in Canterlot, a lot of the time. She always loved those books…I mean, you can say what you will, but they made her happy, and they still do. But you know how foals are, I mean…I guess the rumour mill started turning, because she was so isolated so much of the time.”

“You’re saying that Twilight was picked on?” Rarity said, eyes narrowing.

“That’s brushing it up a bit. More like bullied,” Spike admitted, “Mostly it was just teasing and name-calling, but there were some times where…” He trailed off, “Look, that Blanchette and her pals really did a number on Twilight’s ego. She never brought it up after coming to Ponyville, but I guess…I dunno, I guess coming face to face with those mares again ripped open the stitches, so to speak.”

“Spike, what exactly did these mares DO to Twilight?” Rarity asked, her voice soft enough at this point to rival Fluttershy’s.

Meanwhile, up in the library, Twilight had found the presence of mind to pull herself into bed, covers drawn right up to her chin. The waterworks around her eyes had dried but for the occasional trickle, though there was a fresh rawness around her eyes from the constant rubbing. She felt that rawness every time she blinked, and the light sting only forced her to remember anew exactly why she had been sobbing. Eventually she had mercifully drifted off to sleep.

But her dreams only took her deeper into the places she didn’t want to be.

“Look at her whimpering! This is just pathetic! THIS is Celestia’s star student? Gimme a break!”

This stretch of the royal library was stacked with books, all by a single filly, who had cracked three of them today and had planned on starting a fourth. The young purple unicorn just couldn’t keep away; whenever she found herself in these pages, she spun worlds away. She became more one with the text than she was with the material world around her.

But some of the more popular fillies in her age group, as chance would have it, had been – much to their chagrin – forced to get some books from the library for a research project.

It had started as some offhand comments, likely out of misplaced envy at being Celestia’s personal student, directed towards Twilight. The unicorn more or less ignored them, helped thanks to having her head buried in the fourth book of the day. Yet eventually the words rending the air became more vicious and less ignorable. Her pleas of ‘please leave me be’ and ‘m’just studying’ fell on deaf ears. An older filly to the side had started it by telekinetically tossing the first book; it hit Twilight in the side, causing her to yelp and stumble.

Blanchette Parapet laughed and shouted, “Hey, good idea! She likes books more than – well – anything else! Let’s give her what she wants!”

The little purple filly raised her front hooves in front of her face to protect her from the sudden stream of books being tossed at her, but she still felt every hit, every bruise. Her hooves couldn’t block out the laughter; the other fillies joining – in hindsight, possibly out of peer pressure and gang theory – formed a choir of laughter, sinking so deep in the young filly’s mind that she remembered every nuance of the terrible choir.

Twilight had by this point in her life become adept at simple levitation spells. Her panicked young mind's magical talents attempted to grapple with the flying tomes, but even for the most gifted young filly in Canterlot, catching projectiles in midair was a whole different exercise than lifting stationary objects. She managed to catch a few of them with her magic and toss them aside, but that only left more room for other tomes to get at her.

As soon as there was a lull in the stream of books, Twilight made a blind, sobbing run for her own safety. A few more books hit her on the way, nearly causing her to stumble, but she ran from the library, screaming and sobbing. She didn’t remember clearly what had happened after that; there was a tree in one of the courtyard commons that she had burnt to pieces with a magical surge in sheer frustration and anger, and she remembered…

She remembered crying, in full view of the many ponies who had seen her burn the tree.

Crying...and hiding.

“…And nobody found her until the next morning,” Spike said, “I looked everywhere, but…she just hid herself. Things…weren’t really the same after that.”

The two mares listening to the dragon were silent, waiting for him to continue.

“Later, Twilight came to the Princess, sobbing. Celestia pulled some strings and got Twilight some appointments with the best psychiatrist in Canterlot, Dr. Grazer Mane. But it didn’t seem to help. It seemed like more and more, she would dive into her studies, just…deeper into the page. The pages didn’t judge her…” Spike sighed, staring down. “The books didn’t make her feel like everything she ever did was totally worthless.”

“Those…meanies…” Fluttershy snarled – well, at least what passed for a snarl with her.

“Worst part is, Blanchette and Maylene were two fillies that Twilight had tried to reach out to when she was younger. I mean, they didn’t share interests, and it should’ve ended there. But I guess they were just some really entitled, bad apples…I really thought Twilight’s heart had healed up, especially after she met you guys, but I guess you’re never too far from the things you’re running from.”

“That’s quite deep of you, Spike.” Rarity said, attempting to introduce some levity into the situation.

“Oh…it was on the back cover of one of Twilight’s books,” Spike said, blushing. As much as he would have loved to claim that line as his intellectual property, it didn’t feel quite right to use this moment as an ego step-ladder. He turned his eyes up to the second-floor library window. “Look, it was really thoughtful of you guys to swing by, but I really think she should sleep it off. She’ll be okay in the morning, I’m sure.”

“Well…if you’re quite sure, Spike,” Rarity said, wholly dissatisfied with the direction the night had taken, but knowing well enough not to ‘poke the bear’, as it were. Still, her mind was already spinning.

Poor Twilight…I am absolutely, positively, stupendously going to treat you, dear!

***

“Good morning, Spike.” Twilight said with a soft smile as she awoke, only to find her dragon assistant still in his bed and hunkered down quite tight. “That’s alright. You can sleep in.” She said while using her magic to levitate several things at once: the half-empty cereal box that made a cascading and crunching sound every time she tilted it, the carton of milk and a serviceable silver spoon.

But as Twilight sat down to eat her breakfast cereal, the memories of last night came flooding back, until they consumed her every pore of thought. With her mouth half-full of Lord Hoofington’s Frosted Shards, she mumbled in a mix of embarrassment and sudden self-realization, “Did I really throw those glasses in the Gilded Horseshoe…?” She sighed and swallowed her mouthful. “Urgh…at least I’m waking up here instead of jail…think I got enough bits on hoof to pay for the damage.” She mentally scolded herself for giving in and taking that salty drink instead of politely declining, but she hadn’t wanted to upset Rarity, who had clearly wanted for Twilight to enjoy herself rather than ‘missing out on the finer things’, as that white mare might have put it.

“Still…” Twilight mumbled, more to soothe herself than anything else. “I wasn’t that tipsy…” She cringed, caught in between two contrasting reactions:

What’s wrong with me?

…What’s wrong with THEM?

“I don’t need this…” Twilight mumbled. In a fleeting thought, she figured that some light reading would take her mind off the concept that had been budding in her mind since last night, but when she set eyes on the tome she had been reading the previous evening, she realized she couldn’t, despite her best efforts. It simply reminded her too much of last night, and that mental association turned her away.

A knock on the door nearly caused Twilight to jump. But she paced to the door and opened it, only to find-

“Good morning, Twilight, precious!” Rarity gushed, “You know what? I realized this morning that it’s your birthday in just three short months! It would be my honour to whip you up a brand-new dress for the occasion!”

“Uhm, Rarity? That’s quite alright, really,” Twilight said, her cheeks going the subtlest shade of ruby.

“Nonsense, dear. You simply must come with me to the Boutique. We’ll get you primed right up, we will!”

“Um, Rarity…this wouldn’t have anything to do with, you know…last night, would it?” Twilight said, her voice cracking awkwardly as she nonetheless trotted with Rarity through the Ponyville town square.

Rarity giggled a little, at the moment seeming a touch unsure of herself. “Oh, well…I just wanted to start your morning off right. How would you like to be my fitting model for my new Spring line?”

“But…didn’t you already ask Flutter-“

“Oh, she’s fine with it, darling.” Rarity smiled a toothy smile as she admitted, “Truth be told, a part of me had a naggling suspicion that she didn’t really want to do it, but just said yes at dinner for my benefit.”

“Well, um…alright, I guess, if it’ll make you happy.” Twilight said. She tried to shoot her friend a smile, but any legitimate happiness she could have felt from it was simply snuffed out by the throbbing discontent consuming her mind.

It was such that Twilight barely paid mind to the sights: the pegasi had scheduled a beautiful, cloudless day for Ponyville, and out of the corner of her eye, the unicorn spotted a cheerful Cheerilee leading a group of fillies out on a field trip. But in the back of her mind, all Twilight could hear was the laughter.

The feeling of everything closing in on her.

The feel of being so utterly alone.

“Twilight? We’re here,” Rarity said as she magically opened the front door to Carousel Boutique, mentally noting the bookish unicorn’s distraction and unease.

Some small-talk and a cup of tea later, and Twilight seemed momentarily more at ease, both by her speech inflections and by her physical posture. The gradual switch prompted Rarity to direct the conversation towards her up-and-coming Spring line. She had even summoned up one of the skeletal prototypes, which at this point was merely a fabric ‘shell’ with the purpose being to accentuate particular regions of a mare for the purposes of measurement. But before she could magically drape it over Twilight, the door into the Boutique swung open.

“Oh, a customer,” Rarity said sheepishly, “Do you mind terribly if I pay them a face-to-face for a quick sec?”

“Go right ahead, Rarity.” The purple mare said, but her words trailed off when she heard the voices from around the corner, once again recognizing those privileged Canterlot accents.

“Nah, nah, it’ll be fine, Blanchette,” The first voice said, “This is where Rarity said she works. Play your cards right and we might even get a preview of the Spring line.”

“You think, May? I’m just interested in trying on something new. Something hip.”

Rarity felt as though Rainbow Dash had somehow, literally, wiggled into her brain and detonated firecrackers in there. How the hay was one supposed to react in a circumstance like-

It was in the middle of her frazzled line of thought that Rarity noticed Twilight had gone. The fashionista facehoofed when she suddenly heard a light rustling from her bathroom. She had half a mind to march right in there and magically drag Twilight out before she could teleport again, and simply make her face these mares, but then…Rarity was no expert on how the pony mind operated. If Twilight could stand up to Nightmare Moon and the very essence of disharmony himself, but was scared to even look at these two mares…the events Spike had described to her must have had a much deeper impact than she could have imagined.

“Erm – comiiiing~!” Rarity called out in a sing-song voice after clearing her throat. When she descended the stairs to find Blanchette Parapet and Maylene Treborne standing in the entryway, she actively managed to suppress the unpleasantries of the previous night. The white unicorn donned her best professional front: “Good morning, and welcome to Carousal Boutique, the home of the chic, unique, and uniquely sleek!”

“Morning, miss Rarity,” Blanchette grinned as she paced into the Boutique, “Hope you don’t mind us dropping by unannounced. We’re only in Ponyville for a few days on a photo shoot, but we just couldn’t resist popping in to check back on one of my personal favourite designers.”

Rarity struggled for a moment to find the words, and she could only keep up her shaky grin for so long. Praise of her art was something that elevated her in ways that few other things did; she felt elated, lifted above the clashing egos and dredging of the world below, and sent flying through a mental vista all her own.

But at the same time, these were the mares who had turned Twilight from a loner into a laughingstock. Practically tortured her as a filly – if not physically, then quite obviously mentally. When Rarity thought on that good-natured bookworm’s weakened and panicked expression at the very thought of these two continuing to exist in the same part of the world as her, it brought her mind crashing right back to the earth.

“Erm…photo-shoot, you say? You’re models, then?” Rarity asked just before her eyes were drawn to the cameras slung around the two mares' necks.

“Hah! If only,” Blanchette grinned in that toothy, narrow-eyed way that Rarity had quickly become rather suspicious of. The velvet unicorn kept on, “I’m sure you’ve heard of Wings And Wonders?"

“That’s only the most chic magazine in Canterlot!” Rarity practically leapt out of her horseshoes in a moment of uncontrollable glee; she had, admittedly, some catching up to do on the latest issues, but she would have freely confessed to taking a degree of inspiration from some of their environmental spreads.

“Yeah, we’ve been sent on an assignment to capture the ‘Quaint Equestria’. Not really our scene, but…”

“Ehm, anyway,” Rarity quickly changed the subject, “What can I do for you today?” It wasn’t the conversation topic that she hoped to breach, but after last night she figured it was only a matter of time before one of them made the first move edgewise.

“Oh, not much, just taking a look at what you’ve got planned for the new quarter…” Blanchette said, peering through some of the wares on the mannequins.

Finally, Rarity could no longer hold it in. As unbecoming as it was of her, the tiny beads of sweat forming on her brow finally gave way to her voice: “I’m sorry, but I should have you both know that Twilight Sparkle is a very dear friend of mine. I was told about your…history.”

Blanchette and Maylene exchanged glances. Blanchette slowly turned back to Rarity, “You have no idea what happened to us because of that runt-…er, unicorn, do you?”

“I’m quite sure I don’t know what you mean,” Rarity replied.

Blanchette held her chin high. “Perhaps you should ask Princess Celestia.” She ‘hmph’ed.

“Well, you’re here right now, so…” Rarity attempted to modulate the conversation when she sensed a twinge of annoyance in Blanchette’s tone.

“You’ve met the Princess, yes?”

“Oh, yes,” Rarity cooed, “As majestic as a pony can be, by far. And kind, too, very kind,” The white unicorn said dreamily, recalling the suite she had been given in Canterlot not too long ago over Twilight’s request.

“Kind,” Blanchette neighed sternly, “Then I guess YOU never got home from class to find your parents sitting in your living room, sharing a tea with Princess Celestia.”

Rarity blinked, twice.

Blanchette imitated her own mother’s voice with hints of disdain dripping from her tongue, “’Oh, Blan, come and sit down. We need to have a bit of a chat’.”

“I must be quite mistaken…” Rarity, still attempting to diffuse the hostility in Blanchette’s voice, said, “The Princess wouldn’t make a house call like that unless it were-“

“Serious?” The velvet unicorn hissed, “You have no idea what it’s like to watch the expressions on your parents’ faces as the Princess of Equestria sits in your den, calmly explaining…oh, bugger-all. Here!” She grumbled. In a swift series of motions, she levitated her and Maylene's cameras down to the side and placed her horn to Rarity’s head before giving the unicorn a magical surge.

“I’m afraid your daughter has been involved in some activities that I cannot honestly say I approve of,” Celestia said, her voice calm but betraying an air of discomfort, “Are you aware of my personal pupil, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Oh, yes,” The male unicorn on the couch said quizzically, “One of our Blanchette’s friends?”

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Parapet,” Celestia said, “You see, my pupil recently came to me in tears. Apparently, other fillies are not taking to her.”

“Oh, my,” Blanchette’s mother said in a sympathetic tone, placing a hoof to her mouth.

“Mr. and Mrs. Parapet, this is difficult for me,” Celestia said, though young Blanchette on the floor felt no warmth from the Princess’s eyes, “As I am not one to tell others how to rear their fillies. But it has come to my attention that my faithful student has been…considerably hurt by the things your daughter has done.”

“Well, that simply isn’t!” Blanchette’s father retorted, “…Is it?”

The velvet filly down on the floor glanced around as though she could find a way out of this conversation. This dreadful, nerve-wracking conversation where even the nearby armour-clad Royal guards who had accompanied the Princess to this most unexpected house-call were made privy to her unsavory deeds.

“I’m very sorry to be the one to tell you,” Celestia said, finishing off her cup of tea. “My school for gifted unicorns accepts only the very best, and it does give me pleasure to tell you that your Blanchette has performed admirably on her exams and in practical studies. But punitive actions will have to be taken. You understand, Twilight Sparkle is very dear to me, both as a student and on her own merits. I will be suspending Blanchette from my school, pending further investigation. I am truly sorry, but your daughter needs to learn, and learn well, that cruel turns towards other fillies are wrong. Your Blanchette has potential, and I truly mean this in all honesty. But I must also tell you that I am not comfortable with her sharing a school with my pupil right now. This is for my pupil's very safety.”

When Rarity snapped out of Blanchette’s memory-share spell, the white unicorn shook her head. “I’m sorry, but if you’re expecting me to understand your hatred of Twilight simply because you were kicked out of Celestia’s school over the way you treated her, you are sadly mistaken! From all I’ve been presented, I must declare that it was your own fault, and you must know that!”

“Look, we were lucky to get into a trade school after that!” Maylene shot back, “Studied photography, and now here we are. But you don’t understand what it was like…everypony at Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns was vying for Celestia’s approval, so to see the manticore’s share of it go to this – this purple runt who’d sooner party it up with stuffy old books than actually hang out with friends…you starting to see why we teased her?”

Rarity was about to retort, only for the sudden purple flash to obscure her peripheral vision. Twilight huffed, still surrounded by the aura of her teleportation flash.

“Teasing? Teasing? Is that what you call cornering me, egging everyone on to attack me, and making me hide in the royal barracks just to get away from YOU?” Twilight had half a mind to start telekinetically throwing things, but she just barely managed to refrain this time. She shouted, “You think it felt bad when the Princess came to your houses and told your parents?”

“You were eavesdroppi-“

“Did you ever, for one second, think about what your little stunt did to me?!” Twilight clenched her teeth. “Imagine that feeling, like everything’s pressing down on you and there’s nothing you can do to escape…that feeling like you’re a social pariah and everything you do is only going to make it worse…thanks to you, I lived in that cage every day until I managed to stuff it down far enough! And you’re trying to dress this up like I’M the villain?!” Twilight’s voice cracked as she shouted, hooves shaking. “Do you have any idea how many foals in the school were calling me those names whenever I passed by, and how many times I would turn around only for some stupid filly to get me with a book in the face? All of a sudden, I was the school’s ‘acceptable target’, because of YOU!” By the time she was just about done, her face was red with anger, the more she was forced to dredge up the memories.

Rarity turned her eyes to the two photographers and followed up, “I do believe the two of you owe my Twilight quite the apology.”

“L-Look,” Maylene gave a sideways glance to Blanchette and back to Twilight. “We barely even remembered you until we saw you at the Gilded Horseshoe. Surprised you still remembered us, even. School is school; it's over with now. We’ll be out of your mane in a few days, so just let it DROP, alright, spaz?”

Oh, dear… Rarity thought, and she wondered just what Twilight’s glowing horn was going to pick up.

But even in her heated state, the purple unicorn knew better than to start tossing things or to get into hoofticuffs inside Rarity’s home and Boutique. She just hissed, “The idea of using my magic to hurt ponies makes me sick to my stomach. But you know the first thing that happened after I ran from the library that day? I caused a tree to burst into flames. Right down to the heartwood. I didn’t think, I couldn’t help it, it just happened. If I were you, I’d take the advice to stay away from me.”

With that sharp glare at the photographers, Twilight vanished in a sudden snap and a purple haze. Rarity pouted as her friend teleported so abruptly from the Boutique, before sighing and applying her front-right hoof to the side of her head.

"...Guess we're not getting a peek at the Spring line." Maylene murmured to Blanchette. Their eyes slowly turned back on Rarity, who fixed them with such a dagger-edge gaze that they backed right up out of the shop.

***

Minutes? Maybe hours. No, had to have been hours.

Eventually Twilight’s wanderings through town had carried her, inadvertently and without consciously thinking of it, to the building she identified after a moment as the school where the younger sisters of Applejack and Rarity attended. It was around this time when Twilight realized that it was…well, twilight. Normally the tree-library provided a sense of comfort and homeliness for her, but she knew that it wouldn’t tonight, so she had just kept walking.

It was a question that was burning the back of her mind, eating away at the unicorn’s ability to feel just about anything else: “It was years ago. So much has happened since then. So many more important things. So why can’t I get it out of my head? Why is it still…still bothering me so much?”

Twilight spoke those words out loud to nobody in particular, before she heard another sound wafting through the air: a gentle humming of some popular song from quite a few years ago, coming from inside the schoolhouse.

Some thoughts began clustering in Twilight’s mind. She peered inside, only to find the cherry-hued earth-pony sitting at her desk in the front of the classroom, busily marking what Twilight guessed were test papers. Twilight wasn’t sure how long she stood in the threshold, watching Cheerilee grade; the teacher made a little face and stopped her humming as she graded this particular sheet and said out loud, “Diamond Tiara, I suppose I’ll be having a talk with you about this test…oh, well,” She marked it down, moved it aside and put the next sheet in front of her.

“Erm…miss Cheerilee?” Twilight innocuously stepped in, giving a soft smile. “I’m not intruding, am I?”

“Oh, not at all,” Cheerilee’s warm voice made Twilight feel markedly more at ease. “I remember now – you’re Twilight Sparkle, then?”

Twilight nodded. While she and Cheerilee were certainly aware of each other, they had never really gotten to know one another like full-bodied friends. But the teacher’s eyes lit right up. “Your mother is Twilight Velvet, yes?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“I have to admit, I’m more interested in popular fiction than with theoretical texts. I just fell in love with your mother’s latest novel, Slinky And The Mare! Her sense of pacing is – well – you can’t beat it for trying!”

Twilight smiled, “I’m sure she appreciates it.” That was where she and her mother differed; while Mrs. Velvet always did enjoy writing stories, she was at heart an entertainer with her work; it was something that Twilight considered no less dignified than more ‘elegant’ forms of literature, even if she personally preferred Magical Mares In Canterlot: A Thorough History over The Hunger Manes.

“Oh, er-“ Cheerilee stood from her desk, remembering her manners. “Is there something I can help you with, dear?”

“Actually, there is, miss Cheerilee.” Twilight said, to which the earth-pony came beside Twilight. The unicorn cleared her throat and stared at the wall, looking for a way to express these thoughts bottled up inside. “Can we take a walk?”

“Oh, well – sure,” Cheerilee said, though with a cursory glance back to the small stack of papers on her desk left to grade. Still, she knew Twilight as several things: the organizer who had wrapped up winter in record time, one of the mares who had saved Equestria from arcane, unspeakable threats on two occasions, and someone who didn’t waste time idly. So she put on a smile and walked with Twilight from the schoolhouse.

“I hear there’s some instances of teasing going on in your classroom,” Twilight said, recalling Applebloom’s stories of being mercilessly harassed for being a ‘blank flank’.

“Well, unfortunately, that’ll be the case with any school…” Cheerilee said, “Foals, they…some of them can say, or do, some very callous things without really realizing the gravity of what they’re doing.”

“Yeah…I know.” Twilight said glumly, kicking aside a small rock as they walked.

At this, Cheerilee’s mood changed. This wasn’t a mere social call – not that that would have been normal to begin with, given how close she and Twilight weren’t, in actuality. “What’s really on your mind, Twilight?”

Twilight sighed. “Some stuff happened to me when I was a filly. They…well, you know how every class has that one foal who always looks down at her hooves when the teacher calls for group work, pretending like she doesn’t really exist?”

“Mm-hmm?”

“That was me. And…they noticed.”

“I’m listening.”

So as they walked through the moonlit streets of Ponyville, Twilight confided in Cheerilee the numerous incidents where she had been driven to tears, and thus further into isolation, by the behavior of her peers. Predatory, it was, although she never outright used that term. She wasn’t sure why, but it just felt right to talk about all this with Cheerilee: the earth-pony had devoted her life to the dealings of young foals, after all.

“…And I can’t figure it out.” Twilight sighed at the end of her exceptionally detailed story. “I KNOW it shouldn’t bother me one inch. It was years ago, and I know I’ve done enough to prove everything they said wrong, and…and…”

Cheerilee, after taking a moment to absorb it all, turned to Twilight and asked, “Ms. Sparkle, how do you view yourself?”

“Pardon me?” The unicorn turned. “It’s…just Twilight.”

“Alright then, Just Twilight.” Cheerilee said, “How do you look at yourself? Give me a cold reading of the first things that come to mind.”

“Oh, well…” Twilight tapped her chin with a hoof and started, “Good at magic. Still learning, but potent. Dedicated reader. Good at getting things done and making sure all the pieces fit.”

“Mm-hmm,” Cheerilee said as though she was grading a paper, “You know, sometimes when a foal goes through a bad experience, they can carry it with them as they grow up, to the extent that it begins to shape even the way they view themselves. Tell me, Twilight – just why do all the pieces need to fit?”

Twilight hesitated. She recalled those sessions with Dr. Mane in Canterlot, and how he had said something, some acronym, that didn’t mean much to her at the time…OCD? But she just sighed out, “They just – they just have to. It’s the only way things make any sense. Otherwise, everything is just too – too unpredictable, too unstable, and…and I just can’t deal with it!”

She ended her sentence a little louder than expected, but fortunately there weren’t so many ponies out at this time of night, except for the gray Pegasus mare flitting by. Derpy just gave a cross-eyed wave to the two ground-bound ponies and continued on her way.

“Oh, Twilight,” Cheerilee said, a strained, soft smile coming across her face. “I feel for you, I do. I’m no psychiatrist, but I think you’ve let the words of these fillies really sink their claws into you, and not let go.”

“W-Well, that’s ridiculous,” Twilight said, forgetting for a moment that it was she who had sought out Cheerilee’s company and not the other way around. “It’s not like I’ve spent the last few years in a padded cell mumbling about flying books. I had almost forgotten entirely about this whole mess until those-“ She mumbled something that was indiscernible, but probably quite untoward, “-Showed back up, here in Ponyville of all places.”

“Let me tell you a story,” Cheerilee said, clearing her throat. She fixed her eyes ahead, moving closer to Twilight, as though attempting to comfort a filly as she spoke, “The very first year I took the teaching job at Ponyville, there was a little foal in my class named Manny. His first day of school, he was spry and smiled at everyone, but as the year went on, he had…difficulties, with the other foals. It got to the point where one day, after I was done grading papers, I grabbed my bags and started heading home, when I found Manny lying behind the tree out back, whimpering. At recess, the other foals had done, well…something, to him. He would never tell me what, only that he didn’t understand why they would be so mean, so merciless, over something that he just couldn’t help. Again, he didn’t tell me what, precisely.”

She continued, “Some years later, I met up with Manny again. He’d grown into a handsome stallion, if I do say so myself, and he was friendly enough, but…occasionally, as we got caught up, there would be a twitch, or some behavior that I couldn’t quite account for. It seemed at the end of the day, that he wasn’t reacting to other colts his age quite like one should, in short. That happy, spry foal I remembered from the first day of school was gone, or at least...locked away.”

“What are you saying?”

Cheerilee sighed sadly, “I got my cutie mark when I realized how much I loved teaching young foals. But in this job, I’ve seen some things that made me realize that, maybe, there was another reason for it…to set foals on the right path in life. What I’m saying is, the things that impact us as foals can have a very real impact on the way we are as adults. If I had to take a stab at it, I’d guess that this obsession-“

“Hey, now-“

“This obsession with keeping everything orderly and under control just might be your way of defending yourself from these outside thoughts, outside perceptions. See, if you don’t mind me saying, I don’t think you ever really got over what those fillies did to you…I’ve seen this before – I think you’ve let it define your life.”

“But…but that’s not…” Twilight hung her head and sighed, “That can’t be…I don’t want that…”

“Just because it’s in the rear-view mirror doesn’t mean it’s not appearing closer than it is.” Cheerilee leaned over as she said it.

Twilight gave off a deep, resigned sigh. The fears that she had carried through her life, the baggage that she had inadvertently lugged onto the doorstep every day of her life…it was as though a part of her had fractured, that day those fillies turned her from a mere isolated foal, and into an object of derision, scorn and hatred. The thought entered her mind that every time the fracture threatened to bubble to the surface, she had rushed to slap as many band-aids as possible on it before it turned into a full-blown break.

And sometimes...in her attempts to obscure that fracture, she had…

“Oh, sweet Celestia.” Twilight murmured weakly as a chill ran down her spine. The last time she had scrambled to fix the fracture, to make sure that all the pieces fit in perfect, mathematical order…she had nearly ripped the town apart. Her want-it-need-it spell wasn’t simply irresponsible, displaying a lack of higher reasoning as bad as those two idiots who had inadvertently released the Ursa Minor – it was dangerous, and probably illegal. She didn’t know. She didn’t read many law books. But probably. Lucky that Celestia took mercy on her. Maybe deserved it. Maybe not.

And she had done it by preying on three little fillies.

Twilight’s lip quivered. She strained to say, “I…I need to sit down.”

She wasn’t sure whose house it was that she took a seat next to, but it didn’t much matter to her. The gravity of her obsession was beginning to seem far more severe than she and her ever-generous friends had given it credit for.

Because it proved that the fracture cut so deep, that Twilight had been driven to cause discontent and chaos, and most likely break the law, just so she could maintain that illusion of having every infinitesimal segment of her life under complete control for one more day. She knew for sure they had placed ponies under psychiatric care for far less.

Cheerilee had remained silent as Twilight underwent those internal revelations. She had started the train rolling, and wasn’t about to put a penny on the mental tracks once the unicorn had built up a head of steam. But from her experiences in dealing with foals of all ages, the teacher knew it was time to interject when she noticed the tears welling in the purple unicorn’s eyes. Just as the first sobs erupted from the troubled unicorn, Cheerilee came to Twilight’s side and crooned, “Twilight Sparkle, let’s get you home…are you okay to walk?”

Twilight just numbly nodded, unable to think of anything to say that would justify herself or her actions.

As they walked in solitude through Ponyville’s nocturnal streets, Twilight mustered the strength to turn and say, “Cheerilee, I’ll bet you’re a wonderful teacher.”

At this, the cherry-hued earth pony seemed to blush and said, “I just try to look at myself in terms of how I help my students.”

Twilight’s sense of clock-time faded away on their walk. All that she really used to measure her pace was the movement of her hooves on the ground and the blur of buildings passing by. The only thing bubbling to the surface was a singular, unified series of thoughts.

I kept denying it, kept pushing it down...

But I have a problem.

...I, Twilight Sparkle, personal pupil of Princess Celestia, have a problem.

There. I....I admitted it.

First time?

Maybe...

But eventually, she found herself staring at the wooden door to her library home.

“Would you like to have a tea?” Cheerilee asked tenderly and placed her hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder as some semblance of attempted comfort, but Twilight merely shook her head.

“Thank you so much, Cheerilee...for everything. I just…think I could do with some me-time right now.”

The cherry-tinted earth-pony nodded respectfully. As she was trotting away, she turned her head back to say, “You’re a remarkable mare, miss Twilight Sparkle. If you have need of anything, you just come and see me, alright?” To which the purple unicorn nodded lightly, the hint of a smile almost forming at the corners of her mouth.

Before Twilight could telekinetically open the door, it swung open to reveal the baby dragon standing in the threshold.

“Twi-GUYS! She’s back!” Spike shouted as Twilight entered her den, to which the purple unicorn was suddenly flooded from all sides by the five ponies who instantly started up in frantic tones.

“Twilight!” Rarity called out the loudest, causing the others to quiet down, “Twilight, dear, I went straight here when you teleported away! But when you weren’t here, I got so distressed…”

“We all were,” Fluttershy said, “We combed the whole town for you!” She whisper-exclaimed, “We had a mare on the inside, though. When she saw you, she told us and we came back here to wait for you.”

“Mare on the inside?” Twilight puzzled.

“Derpy’s good in a pinch!” Pinkie Pie bounced.

“Rarity explained everything,” Rainbow Dash said, flapping her wings vehemently even though she was standing on the floor. “You just gimme a description of those sick mules!” She flitted into the air and raised her front hooves in a ‘put ‘em up!’ sort of position. “They’re gonna learn that if you buck with my friends, you’re gonna taste the Rainbow!”

“Easy there, RD,” Applejack drawled before her attention turned back to Twilight, “Twi, I know what it’s like to feel like the world’s pressin’ down on y’all, and you don’t know just where to turn. I see it every day after Applebloom gets home from school. Y’all can just tell when them high-and-mighty over-privileged fillies have had their way at her. She just channels it into all that Cutie Mark Crusadin’, but between you and me, they’re not any closer to getting them marks as Silver Spoon is to bein’ less of a hoity-toity spoil-boil. But I’ve seen the hurt in her eyes…Twi, if you don’t mind me sayin’, this explains a whole lot.” Twilight hoped that Applejack wasn’t referring to the ‘tardy’ incident, but she knew in her heart that that incident would be fresh in their minds for a while yet. “I look at you, Twi, and I see some kind of hurt, some repressed anxiety, that I really can’t imagine Applebloom havin’ to go through. If y’all don’t mind me sayin’, stressed-out and stretched-thin ain’t no way to go through life. ‘Sides: we just plumb love our Twilight, don’t we, girls? Name one pony who puts more effort into learnerin’ new things!”

“We sure do,” Fluttershy smiled softly at the unicorn. “Just being around her makes you feel like your world’s that much more balanced.”

“And she puts up with so much from us,” Rarity blushed as she admitted, “Sometimes it’s like we’re all pulling her in different directions, but she holds her head high.”

Rainbow Dash flitted in closer, “You might be the Element of Magic, but really…you embody the best of all of us.”

The others turned and stared at Rainbow.

“What?” Dash shrugged her shoulders, “Applejack can be poetic, but I can’t be poetic? Seriously, guys? Applejack?”

“What we’re trying to say, Twi, is…” Applejack said, tactfully ignoring Rainbow, “We all kinds of love ya, Twi. If you’re sad, or frustrated, or mad, or feelin’ like yer gonna burst at the seams…come to us. Really.”

Twilight felt another tremble in her chin, but this time, her tears were of happiness. By the time she approached the circle, they had practically piled on her to hug.

“You absolutely must take stock of your accomplishments,” Rarity said, “These mares who treated you so may have glamorous jobs, but deep inside, they don’t have a fraction of what you have.”

“You guys…you really spent the whole day searching for me?”

“Why in Equestria would ya think otherwise, Twi?” Applejack leaned over.

“I guess…” Twilight bit her lip in a half-smile as she pondered out loud, “I guess we all tend to let the negative get to us…we’ve beaten Nightmare Moon, we’ve sent Discord back into stone, we’ve taken on a horde of Diamond Dogs and come out smelling like a rose, yet…it’s the little things we really let get to us. The times I left behind, that never really let me go…I guess I was still trying to prove them wrong. Trying to live up to something, some imaginary expectation, that I’d never…that I’d never reach.” Her tone changed as she said it, as though she was only realizing it that very moment.

“You’re already there, sugar-cube.” Applejack reaffirmed.

Twilight found the words easily after that moment, “I – I guess…I was afraid that when you guys found out about all this, you’d, I dunno…think of me differently.” She refrained from saying the last part of her thought: That you’d start thinking of me like I think of myself.

“Now that’s just a big ol’ load a’codswallop,” Applejack fixed Twilight right in the eyes with a soft smile. “If anything, we pity those mares who made your life impossible in school, ‘cause they’ll never know what it’s like to have you as a friend.”

Where Twilight had previously been close to breaking down in frustration and anger, she could only melt into a smile. The weight in her eyes was slowly leaving.

She had planned, the next day, to confront Blanchette and Maylene directly, to give herself a sense of closure. But the more she mingled with her friends, the more Twilight realized – closure for what?

That throbbing sensation at the back of her mind, that had distracted her from the fact that she had fallen into a wonderful life here, had finally dissipated. That fracture that had bubbled just under the surface for so long had its band-aids ripped off, and had emerged into the clear light of Celestia’s sun, but…the pieces were in place to begin setting a cast for it, rather than a myriad of stop-gap solutions. All that remained was the sight of her friends, who genuinely loved her after everything, and Pinkie Pie’s enthusiastic voice from the back, loudly suggesting a party to celebrate.

And, after all, why not? Because right now, that me-time was the absolute last time on Twilight’s mind.

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

Normally, I give you my friendship reports from an objective perspective, a third-pony view. But this is something that I think should be spoken of as a personal matter. Years ago, you tried to help me overcome the problems of social interaction and the issues of peer bonding that had driven me further into isolation as a filly, and for that, I do thank you.

But it turns out that this was something I needed to work through on my own. Some ponies came into town recently who I had hoped to never see again, and they brought to light some issues from my past that I had thought I had left behind me.

But the fact was, I really hadn’t ever let go of it. I was so terrified of letting that mockery define me that, inadvertently, it did.

They hurt me, Princess Celestia. I can’t deny that. And I don’t have any genuine desire to see them again. But if our paths do cross again, I won’t be afraid. Because wounds can heal, given the right equipment.

So my friendship report is thus:

We all have memories and experiences that we wish we could blink out of existence, but dwelling on them and letting them consume you will just lead you down dark roads and dead ends. It’s not always as easy as simply letting go, but when you feel you’re at your wit’s end, your friends will be there with open hooves. Keeping things bottled up inside just makes things worse, because sometimes the very root of the problem is admitting that you have a problem in the first place. But at the same time, you can’t chase happiness by trying to micro-manage every facet of your existence.

Your faithful student,

“…Twilight Sparkle.”

Princess Celestia smiled softly as she finished reading out her dear student’s letter by the candlelight of her private study. As she telekinetically set the scroll down, her eyes glossed over with the memory of meeting the parents Parapet and Treborne to inform them that their daughters no longer had a place at her school, but moreso, she recalled her personal pupil’s sobs at her hooves. Like yesterday, she heard a filly Twilight’s voice: ‘Why don’t they like me, Princess Celestia? What did I do? What am I doing wrong?’

And Celestia’s response had been the same then as it was now: “Nothing.”

The white alicorn gracefully and deliberately lifted another scroll out of her desk. This one, by its more monochrome tint, was a copy for reference purposes of another letter she had sent some days ago. With a self-contented lean, Celestia read it over:

To the editors of Wings And Wonders,

It is by executive order of the Princesses of Equestria that I, Celestia, am interested in seeing your magazine’s take on smaller towns. I am also quite interested in the photographic expertise of two of your most affluent photographers, Ms. Parapet and Ms. Treborne. I believe the town of Ponyville would reflect very well through the lenses of those two

I know it’s not the typical region of your photographers, but Ponyville is not without its high-scale influences. Take the Gilded Horseshoe restaurant for example, if your mares yearn for Canterlot-style cuisine.

I will be interested in seeing what landscapes you come up with for the next issue.

Your Princess,
Celestia

The alicorn lifted her teacup through the air and had herself a smooth, warm sip. It had been a gamble that even she had been the slightest bit unsure of, nudging those two unicorns in the direction of the restaurant that Twilight had mentioned going to try that night. But then...after the incident with the Smarty-Pants doll, Celestia had realized that something in her faithful student’s psyche was starting to sway, like a long-fraying tree branch caught in too strong a storm. The Princess had had her suspicions, but it was that incident that convinced her of the root of the problem. It needed to be dredged up, confronted, and by confrontation, moved beyond. Twilight couldn’t keep running from herself, however unconsciously.

Celestia nestled her wings snugly behind her, put on a soft smile and said out loud, “And your homework, my faithful Twilight...is to enjoy yourself.”

-The End-

Epilogue

…And, after all, why not? Because right now, that me-time was the absolute last time on Twilight’s mind.

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

Normally, I give you my friendship reports from an objective perspective, a third-pony view. But this is something that I think should be spoken of as a personal matter. Years ago, you tried to help me overcome the problems of social interaction and the issues of peer bonding that had driven me further into isolation as a filly, and for that, I do thank you.

But it turns out that this was something I needed to work through on my own. Some ponies came into town recently who I had hoped to never see again, and they brought to light some issues from my past that I had thought I had left behind me.

But the fact was, I really hadn’t ever let go of it. I was so terrified of letting that mockery define me that, inadvertently, it did.

They hurt me, Princess Celestia. I can’t deny that. And I don’t have any genuine desire to see them again. But if our paths do cross again, I won’t be afraid. Because wounds can heal, given the right equipment.

So my friendship report is thus:

We all have memories and experiences that we wish we could blink out of existence, but dwelling on them and letting them consume you will just lead you down dark roads and dead ends. It’s not always as easy as simply letting go, but when you feel you’re at your wit’s end, your friends will be there with open hooves. Keeping things bottled up inside just makes things worse, because sometimes the root of the problem is admitting that you have a problem in the first place. But at the same time, you can’t chase happiness by trying to micro-manage every facet of your existence.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

Twilight smiled softly as Spike rolled the letter into a perfect scroll, gave a great breath and huffed, sending the friendship report far to Canterlot. The unicorn had given Spike the letter to take mere minutes after her friends had left from Pinkie Pie’s spontaneous ‘Twilight having come home from being out’ party; streamers and various balloons had yet to be taken down.

Spike turned away, only to find his foot pressing down on a ruby balloon. He was too far committed to the step to turn back, and the balloon burst under his weight, causing the baby dragon to cry out and stumble, his arms flailing. On his way, he smacked into several of Twilight’s bookshelves, sending various tomes clattering to the floor before he could stop himself.

When Spike finally lost his footing and fell on his side, he spied a wide-eyed Twilight rushing to his aid.

“Spike! Are you okay?!”

“Peachy,” Spike grumbled as he picked himself up. But his eyes widened when he saw just how many of her books lay in jumbled, mussed piles. “Oh, uh – I’ll get these right away! Let’s see…”

“Don’t worry about it, Spike. I’ll get them later.” Twilight said softly, an oddly contented smile on her features. The baby dragon blinked and mouthed out, ‘really?’, to which she picked up on and responded, “Really, Spike. Don’t worry about it.”

As Twilight climbed to her bedroom, a cursory glance out the window reminded her that the pegasi had long-scheduled quite the rainstorm for tonight, to give the plantlife the nourishment denied over the relatively sunny week. Even before she opened up the window and stepped out onto the balcony, she could hear the gentle pitter-patter of the rain cascading from the leaves.

But as Twilight stepped out to the railing, that soft and contented smile remained on her face, and was only amplified when she felt the cool, soothing rain droplets – not so hard, but almost like a fast-acting bath – falling along her body.

As she leaned on the balcony railing, Twilight’s smile broke into a small laugh.

“You know…” She said out loud to nopony in particular, and yet anypony, “I’m really happy to be me.”

***

"Oh, my my...I've scarcely seen our Twilight looking quite so relieved." Rarity said to nopony in particular as she stepped back into the comforts of her Boutique. Her specialized saddle-and-umbrella had prevented her from enduring quite the soaking during the rain, but she nonetheless used a small magical surge to lift it off her and back with a stylish flair and onto its proper rack as soon as the door closed behind her.

"Myyyaow!"

"Opal, dear, is that you?" Rarity called out as she wiped her hooves. "Where-ever have you been all day? I should have you know I've just had the most splendid evening, and..." Her voice trailed off when she heard the faint sounds of that finicky snow-white cat scratching at something. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but none the less Rarity cantered around the corner to investigate.

"Opal, what in Equestria are you doing?" The unicorn's eyes bolted wide when she saw the mess that had become of her floor. The feline had evidently found two rather delicate and expensive instruments lying on the ground in this room...two top-of-the-line, Pony-Excel cameras. One was emblazoned with 'M.Treborne' in glittery lettering, and the other with 'B.Parapet' in much the same fancy script.

The cat gave a hearty, contented meow as she ran her claws through the several days' worth of film, and it came back to Rarity in a flash: the mares Parapet and Treborne, putting their cameras down right before Ms. Parapet hit her with a memory-share spell, and being so intimidated afterwards that they had forgotten their equipment...and by the time they realized it, Rarity had already gone, and locked up shop.

Cameras full of landscape footage that, due to the next few days being scheduled for rain, would be irreplaceable on their schedules. It was just quite unfortunate that such a posh magazine as Wings And Wonders would be unlikely to overlook such an error on the part of its employees.

All in all, quite unfortunate. Such a shame, with nothing able to be done about it.

Opal tilted her head as she looked up at Rarity.

"....Do you believe that what goes around, comes around, Opal?"

"....Myaow."