I Am Not Afraid

I Am Not Afraid

Story 1

Chapter 2: Confidence

By: FluttersIsAwesome

I knew where he was going. We had a special place when we were upset that we always went to, and I was sure he’d be there. I asked Twilight to continue her research, and she did. It didn’t really help much, but I got off the ground and flew the rest of the way. Just like I thought, he was at the lake we had been at earlier.

He sounded like he was crying, staring at his reflection. “You’re just a freak. Nobody would want to really be your friend! You’re a monster! All you do is hurt others!” His hooves began to strike the water, dispelling his reflection until he finally stopped and lied down. “Not even Fluttershy would genuinely love a guy like you, no matter how strongly you feel. Eventually they’ll all leave you. You’ll be alone again. All alone….” He began to repeat that word. Alone. Alone. Alone. His body began to shake, and suddenly another fire sparked up in the grass. “I don’t want to be alone. I’m not a freak. I can’t be alone… I can’t.” The fire began to grow a little, but I shouted to him before it got any larger.

“Nova! There’s a fire!” I rushed over to him, stomping it out before wrapping him in a tight hug. “Nova, I’m here. I won’t ever abandon you, even if everypony else does. I promise.”

Through sniffles and tears, he turned to me and tried to speak. “Do you mean that?”

I could feel the tears starting to form in my own eyes as I nodded. “Yes, I do. You’re my best friend. I could never leave you alone.”

He managed a weak smile, returning my hug. “Thank you, Flutters. Thank you so much. You know being alone is one of my greatest fears….”

Nova kept me close to him. I could feel his warmth, and it was so comforting. This was the part of him nopony else ever noticed. They couldn’t see through the flames and into his heart, all they saw was the accidents he couldn’t help, but he was sweet and caring. All he wanted was to make friends, and I knew I was one of the few ponies he had to lean on. “I’m here, Nova, and I always will be. Come on, let’s go back to Twilight. I’m sure she’ll have a solution for you.”

After one last sniffle, he nodded again. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go, together.”

* * *

When we finally got back to the library, Spike opened the door for us with a smile. “Glad to see you back already. Great news! Twilight’s found something that explains your certain condition and a way to turn it to your advantage.”

Both my and his ears perked up as we walked in. Twilight eagerly greeted and led us back to her book. “Look right here, Nova. This here describes what I think your situation is. You remember the ‘wells’ I spoke of that unicorns have, correct?” She waited for him to nod before continuing. “Well, it’s quite possible that you may have one and it keeps replenishing your magic. However, since you don’t have a true catalyst to give the magic an outlet. Because of that it’s still fumbling around trying to find a way out.”

He nodded quickly, kind of waving her off. “Yeah, yeah, okay. You said you had a way for me to turn it around?”

She clapped her hooves together eagerly, beckoning us both closer. “I believe that you can control it when you’re doing something brave. I’ve been thinking, since your fear is what triggers the magic, but you can apparently truly use it when doing something courageous, that the two are connected. You know being brave isn’t being fearless, it’s pushing ahead even though you are afraid.”

Nova smiled, but didn’t really seem too cheered up. “That may be, but I’m not really the bravest pony in the world. How in the world am I supposed to be brave just like that?” He tapped his front hooves together quickly while speaking.

Since I had some time to think about it, I decided it was my turn to speak. “Well, maybe it’s like the fire. You might have something that makes you feel braver just like how the fire only comes out when you’re scared.”

Nova and Twilight looked at each other for a moment. “Fluttershy, that’s actually not a bad thought. You may very well be correct. Anyway, I have an idea, come here, Nova.”

He did so, and she tapped his head with her horn. For a moment, a translucent cube surrounded him and then dissipated. “This should keep it from happening again. However, I’d rather us find a way to help you conquer your fears. It would be pointless to try and list all your fears, so I think the best idea would be to help boost your general confidence. Does that sound good?”

A small smile crossed his face. “I guess that would help. Sure, let’s try.”

Twilight clapped again and headed for the door. “Meet me at Sugarcube Corner. I’m going to gather the rest of the girls; seven minds are definitely better than three. I know Pinkie’s already there, Rarity’s probably still working on that new dress design she drew up, Applejack had some business in town, so she shouldn’t be too hard to find. It’s Rainbow Dash that will be the tough one to track down.”

Nova let out a slight chuckle and looked at the clock. “It’s one thirteen. She’s either clearing out afternoon clouds or just getting up from a nap so she can start clearing them out. I’d suggest checking just under her cloud home; it was always her favorite resting spot.”

She tilted her head a bit, slightly surprised by his knowledge. “Wow, you two really are related. Alright, I’ll start with that and round up the others after. See you at Sugarcube Corner!” With more speed than she had run with in a long time, she was out the door.

Nova and I walked together the whole way. The more I thought about it, the more I considered finally trying to tell them. I was so wrapped up in thought that I didn’t even realize I had stopped walking until I saw Nova ahead of me. “Um… Nova, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Turning around, he walked back up to me and gave me a quick nuzzle. “Sure, Flutters. What’s on your mind?”

My entire body was shaking, and my face was red and hot. I tried to avoid looking him in the eyes as I opened my mouth. “I… I have something I n-need to say. I’m not sure how to, though…. I don’t think I-“

My face only got hotter as his hoof met my lips. “Don’t worry about it, Flutters. You don’t need to say anything right now.” His smile almost made me melt. I was positive he already knew just by the way I was acting. “It’s alright; you just wait until you’re completely ready.” I thought I was going to faint when he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, but luckily I at least remained conscious.

The rest of the walk was relatively quiet, but of course, with Pinkie working right now, the silence was immediately broken when we entered Sugarcube Corner.

“Hey you two! How are you? Can I get you anything? We have a discount on Mrs. Cake’s specialty red velvet muffins this week! Maybe some chocolate cookies! Ooh, I know! How about my new brownie recipe I worked on today? They’re really good!”

Nova and I laughed a bit before he put his hoof on her head and held her to the ground. “Settle down, Plushie. Two chocolate milkshakes, please.”

He let her go, and she began to bounce again. “Two chocolate shakes coming right up!”

I walked up to the counter and set a few bits on it, but Nova pushed them back to me, setting about twenty on the counter. “Twilight’s brining all your friends, so one for all of them too, including yourself, but wait ‘till they get here. Don’t want ‘em to melt!”

Again, she began to bounce as we sat down at a table. After a few minutes, she came over and set our drinks on the table. “Here ya go! We also have a special today only on free refills! Weee!” She bounced back behind the counter, and we turned to back to each other.

“I honestly find it extremely hard not to smile around her. She just makes everything seem more fun.”

I took a quick sip of my shake, shivering a bit at how cold it was. “Well, making others smile is what Pinkie loves to do.” A small breeze pushed against my face as I tried to drink, and I looked up to see a straw in my face.

“Gotcha!” Nova chuckled as he ruffled my mane teasingly. “So, Flutters, do you have any ideas as to what we can do about my fears?”

Before I could answer, the bell over the door jingled as the other girls came in. Twilight saw us and lead everypony else to our table just as Pinkie brought over five more milkshakes. She nodded politely and turned to Nova with a smile. “I already talked to everyone about what happened, and we’ve all been trying to think of ways to help. Unfortunately, nopony’s had any real breakthroughs.”

“Well, actually, I did come one up with one theory.” Hearing Rarity’s voice was a slight surprise, probably because I hadn’t seen her all day. “Twilight mentioned you needed a general confidence boost, and that got me to thinking. Nova, you don’t really seem to have any fear or nerve issues when racing, yes?”

His ears perked up at her words, making him smile. “You know what, Frufru, you have a point. I don’t really feel afraid of anything when I’m racing despite how dangerous it is.”

Applejack took a sip of her drink and cleared her throat. “Y’know, that might be because you’ve been doing it for such a long time, and you’re so good at it. Maybe if you found other things you were good at, you could build up your confidence and not be so scared of things.”

I looked to the corner of the table, watching Rainbow Dash mess with her straw. Her brow was furrowed, and she had a small frown across her mouth. “Uh, Rainbow Dash, is everything okay?”

As she lifted her head, I was met with a rather frightening glare. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just slightly irritated at my brother being called a coward. None of you know him half as well as I do, so you don’t really any right to say stuff like that about him.”

Clunk. Nova’s hoof hit his sister’s head gently, making it sound like he tapped a piece of wood. “Calm down, Bow. I don’t think you understand what’s going on completely. We’ve figured out that the reason I keep starting all these fires is because this magic in me is using fear as a means to escape, and it takes form as the flames. I’m not legitimately afraid of a whole lot, though. The main things I really do fear are,” he paused for a moment, taking a long swig of his shake before resuming, “being alone, seeing blood, things that most ponies would be afraid of. But there’s one thing that frightens me more than anything….”

Not even Pinkie spoke up as we all waited for him to finish his sentence. We did our best to avoid staring at him and put him under pressure, but the suspense of waiting for him to work up the nerve to tell us was a little difficult to keep hidden. Finally, he took a deep breath and finished his thought. “My biggest fear is that I’ll end up hurting somepony like this. Like I said, startled fear like a loud, unexpected noise is one thing, and I’m sure Twilight’s spell will be enough for those small-scale problems, but these things are nothing to sneeze at. Seeing blood isn’t a big issue, obviously, and I believe Flutters when she says she’ll always be here for me. However, if I don’t get myself under control, I very well could hurt someone without meaning to. I guess what I’m really saying is my greatest fear… is myself.”

It was Pinkie’s turn to speak. She began to bounce again as she spoke while drinking. “Well, if you’re so scared of hurting others, why not just be nice to everypony? I mean, you’re already nice, but if you’re SUPER nice, you won’t even be thinking about accidently setting them on fire. Instead, you’ll be thinking about giving them hugs and making them laugh and smile and have FUN!”

In her excitement, she fell out of her seat and hit the floor with a rather out of place squeak as opposed to a thud. Everypony started laughing except Twilight, whom I noticed was now reading through the book she had brought. “Well, that would work, but I did tell Nova that I had a way to turn this to his favor. The real purpose of boosting his confidence is to help him be braver. See, if fear causes uncontrolled outbursts, I believe that the opposite, courage, will allow him to actually control his magic. Of course, we won’t be able to cast spells or anything, but much like that story you told me, with some help you should be able to actually use it.”

He scratched his chin for a moment. “Okay, that shouldn’t be too hard, I guess. So you think a confidence boost will help me be more courageous all the time as opposed to just crisis situations?”

Twilight quickly nodded. “You’re no different from other fear cases: you most likely have a constant variable that’s been present in each scenario where you came out of your shell and cast your fear aside.”

All heads tilted to their sides. Rainbow was the first to comment, though. “That’s great; can we get that in English this time?”

After a long sigh, Twilight went over her explanation again. “I’m saying that in every situation where Nova acted bravely, there was probably something there that either made him, or at least helped him build up his courage. So, if we can figure out what that constant is, we can use that to begin building confidence. Is everypony ready to hear my plan?”

After all heads finished nodding, Twilight smiled and finished her drink. “Okay, I think the best thing to do, for now, is give Nova a task to do that he may not be particularly comfortable with. If we can find out his ‘courage booster’ soon enough, we can also incorporate that. Anyway, as he does these tasks, with help, of course, and succeeds, he’ll feel less afraid of doing things in general and be more confident and willing to do things. See, it’s kind of like when I finally master a new spell, I sometimes feel like I could try doing ten more. As Nova starts succeeding at doing newer things, he’ll feel like he can do even more since he has proved to himself he could do the task we gave him. Now with that being said, does anypony have something for him to help with?”

It didn’t take long for all of us to start listing ideas, so Twilight settled us down and gave Applejack the floor first. “Well, we could always use extra help gathering apples. And before you write that off as being easy, it’s more challenging than you think.”

“I could use some help delivering these new dresses; the pony that ordered them lives quite a ways away, and the order was quite large. I’d need to make the trip twice if I were to do it myself.” Rarity said as she finished her own shake.

Rainbow’s smile returned as she tapped her brother’s shoulder. “You’ve never actually done any weather work, right? Why don’t you spend a day helping me out? We could get done twice as fast!”

Everypony began listing their tasks in a more organized manner now: Pinkie suggested helping her bake for a day, Twilight offered him an opportunity to sort her books, and of course there was always a way he could help me take care of animals. Once everything was decided, Twilight turned her attention back to Nova. “If we don’t find your constant before all of this is finished, then that will be our next objective. Does that sound good?” After a quick nod from him, she resumed. “I’d also advise asking around the town for ways you can help others. Not only will it boost your morale, but it will also help you get to know them, giving you more opportunities for friend making.”

After everything was decided and agreed on, it was about three in the afternoon. Everypony went their separate ways except for Nova and I, as we decided to take a walk together.

“Flutters, are you sure this is going to work? I mean, it does sound like Twilight put a lot of thought into this, but do you really think this can help me take control of my magic?”

With a smile, I nodded and patted his shoulder. “Of course it will. You’ll see; you’ll be a super brave stallion in no time.”

He pulled me into a tight hug, nuzzling my cheek. “You know, Flutters, with you around, I feel like I can do anything. Thank you.”